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starheirxero · 3 months

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Local god, once again, gets too silly and tortures his servant 😔 (heartbreaking)

My contribution for the DTIYS being hosted by @ask-dimension71542 which is run by @tbean555 and @duskrize !!! :3

No text version + shitpost text under the cut!

I love this man so much he makes me ill 💜

#xero creations #AAAAAA THIS WAS SO INSANELY FUN TO DO HONESTLY HEJAHAJAHS #this is the first drawing i've done where 'clean lines' werent my priority and it was SOOOO FREEING #i'm like half worried i missed something somehow ?! but i think thats just cuz ive been looking at it too long LOL #THE INNER PART OF THE CAPE WAS SUCH A WIN FOR MEEEEEE #< guy who has like 1 million space brushes downloaded but never gets to use them #they have now been used.... i can now rest in peace 🙏 /j /sily #sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #lord eclipse au #lord eclipse #servant sun #sams servant sun #sams lord eclipse #ask-dimension71542 #dtiys entry

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mattodore · 5 months

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found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...

i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…

#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down !#river dipping #i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭#none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page #which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done?#obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet...#i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭#like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics?#i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑‍💻#like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then #i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things #i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭#like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain.#so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably #said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷#and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more #i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!!#i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with.#...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just.#sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding.#i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!!#theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together

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hithelleth · 1 year

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wild-at-mind · 2 months

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Not reblogging it for reasons, but I really agree with that person on here who said people are reframing depression and generally feeling shit all the time as a good thing because of the horrors of Gaza. There are people on here heavily implying that you feeling bad and finding it more and more difficult to live with yourself is actually an appropriate response to war and genocide. In some way, it might be. But the thing is, where does that lead? Does it lead to decisive action in accordance to your values, or to nihilistic stewing and self isolation from your community?

The post went on to call it anti-recovery culture- I don't know if I would call it that, because I get why people don't like recovery culture, especially in relation to addiction, but mental illness also. I think that's something I'm not qualified to speak on. So I wouldn't call this anti-recovery culture. Instead I would call it pro-burnout in activism culture. Do you honestly think people who are the most productively working in their communities and participating in actions to help overseas are feeling like this? Or do you think they have learned to use self-accountability and community support to reign themselves in when they begin to burn out emotionally, and rest and recuperate their mind in order to come back stronger? Ask yourself, is that wrong of them to do, because they should be feeling bad, because after all that is the appropriate response....does it mean they don't care, because they don't spend all their time feeling shit? Or perhaps, the truth is, they do care, and are demonstrating it all the time, but they also understand that them feeling shit literally doesn't help anyone. Why can we not talk about or acknowledge this?

#i don't want to make out like i'm some amazing activist- absolutely am not talking about myself here #but i think they key thing is activism is best done as a group and one of the group's important functions is caring for one another #if you see an activist framework that encourages people to isolate from others it's not leading anywhere good- avoid #please do not let these ghouls trick you into thinking your depression and shit feelings are the right thing to feel #or that it's wrong to not want to have them any more #as that other post said: no thought crimes and also no thought activism #it's just thoughts and they don't do anything without actions and guess what makes you unable to do actions? (depression)#by the way i wish there was a better word than burnout to talk about this because it's so associated with work and capitalism #but it's a thing- i have seen it through my environmental activism group over the past 4 years #one woman just cut ties with everyone right down to her best friend and disappeared- we know she is alive but that's it #i miss her. but she had all the tools to avoid burning out and she didn't use them- at the end of the day you can't MAKE someone stop #oh yeah finally the above attitude to mental illness also puts you in a vulnerable place for conspiracy thinking #PLEASE do not become like my dad who listened to his mental illness too hard #and went from a leftist to a horseshoe theory conspiracist #guess how much activism he does now?! (hint: it's 0)

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krysmcscience · 11 days

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Saw this prompt for incorrect OC quotes and couldn't resist with a bunch of my Breach goobers. Some of them would absolutely say these things word for word in canon if I gave them half the chance to, though. XD

They're in order of when they showed up in person - Qīng, Ghost, Red, Marisol, Shio, Cam, Daruk, Tawoos, and Alondra - as well as some important honorable mentions who have only been mentioned or gotten dialogue - Star, Blake, and Creation.

Star's design is a slight spoiler, I suppose, but it doesn't reveal if they're human or impostor, so it's all good. Creation's "design" also isn't a spoiler at all, because They can look however They want, LOL. As for Shio...some of you who have seen the body horror I've done of them may be wondering why they look so normal here, but I promise there are Reasons. :3c

In other news, will I be making a liar out of Shio in an upcoming Breach canon divergence? ..........Maybe~ >:3c

#original characters #breach #among us #(technically lol)#look i even revealed what their colors would be - as if it wasn't already patently obvious #aside from creation but - uh - ignore them (trust me it's better this way)#meanwhile qīng's color isn't even available which is a Damn Shame #there needs to be a sky blue already ffs #cyan ain't cutting it #if it were an actual lobby qīng would waffle so hard between blue and cyan and would miss his chance to pick either XD #the closest quote to canon is cam's because she REALLY wants a different job and she'll take yours in a fucking HEARTBEAT #meanwhile the closest quote to BECOMING canon is creation's and it is taking all of my willpower to resist their insistence that i allow it #the most incorrect quote of all is definitely blake's - he is so mad at me for drawing this and calling out how he feels about his old job #the biggest lie here is red's - he absolutely thinks about breaking rules and does it a lot more than he'd like to admit #someone give poor tawoos a fucking break - they didn't ask for this #i promise that marisol is more than The Bitchy Sunflower Girl - just give her some time - i promise #alondra has other aspects too but she would be weirdly offended if you tried to assure her that she's more than just Squeaky Mouse Girl #if daruk ever had to go to anger management he would accidentally incite a rage riot just like dan did in that episode of dan vs #ghost i'm sorry but your fashion sense is incomprehensible and i don't even know how i come up with half the stuff i put you in #did blake steal the jacket off of crinklytinfoil's pink/chase from the skeld? absolutely not - he borrowed it cuz those two would be BUDS #these tags are ridiculous #ok im done now

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

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Very generic “”gothy” character in a children’s cartoon” type look just out of curiosity, seeing if I had enough stuff to put together a full outfit from a box of old clothes lol. I didn’t have an actual main shirt though, so it’s just a plain tank top with cat shape cut out of paper and safety pinned onto the front

#Though not calling anyone generic if this is your style or something. I don't mean it in a bad way. I just mean like.. all of the steretypic #al elements are there. The choker thing. the 'fishnet shirt under a tank top' . the 'carefully placed slightly askew studded belt' etc.#the skirt + some form of patterned specially striped tights + platform boots combo. etc. Like from a character design standpoint #These are the elements usually present in a show when they want to portray 'this caracter is slightly edgy and alternative'#just missing like.. hair with straight across bangs in pigtails that's black with a few colored streaks in it. OR just like shoulder length #shaggy hair that's also streaky and has a sidebang. and like.. one lip piercing or something ghhjbjh.. dark eyeliner #black nailpolish. I'm not painting my nails just for one uoutfit though. I actually used to wear nailpolish more but I just hate the smell #so much now. I can't see how I ever was able to bear it. I think maybe because usually I had some bigger spaces with ventalation. I guess #I could paint them outside maybe. Still #It's still hard to beleive some poeple will like. full on #get their nails done on a constant basis. get hair done. etc.etc. Not even just becuase of the money but like. the sensory experience seems #ovwerhelming. I only have been to a hair salon like twice in my life and both times I HATED a person touching me. and having to like lay my #head back and get it rinsed. etc. I went to a nail slon literally once because someone else wanted to go and I happened to be with them #and the smell was bad to me and also I did not like them touching me even if it was just my hands. Also I've never had fake nails #and didn't want them so when I went in I just got them plainly painted a plain color with nothing special andit's just like.. I could have #done that myself for free lol.. I get going to a place with special tools and equipment if you want something complicated but like..#why pay to have your plain nails plainly painted in a plain way #Hair thing if more bothersome though like. Maybe strangers can touch my hands i guess but like. letting someone near my head and face.#automatic bad reflex. Like an animal protecting it's belly or something. I think amplified by the fact that not only is a stranger touching #you but also there's like. so much. stuff. wet feeling on hair and then the feeling of hands and then so many smells and then other poeple #being there too. etc. etc. Though since my hair is so long now I have been curious every once in a while to like.. go into a place and get #an estimate. Not to go through with it actually but just like. hey if I theoretically wanted you to bleach my very dark extremely thick hai #r that is all the way to my fingertips. and make it like white.how much would that cost and how long would it take. I feel like it would tak #e froever and be very expensive since it'd probably use up a lot of product. I barely even keep up with coloring my own hair at home anymore #because it's always such a process. Instead of one thing of dye I need literally like 4 lol. etc.#Or maybe it'd be cheaper because they'd have bulk items instead of buying single package. But still. the man hours probably. cost of labor.#ANYWAY khjk... Another fun look just to be silly. Not really my style but it's all just playing dress up

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dangerliesbeforeyou · 1 year

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i havent seen anyone do this so...

#not including the war doctor/fugitive doctor cos... i dont wanna even tho i love them both too lol #this is JUST the main doctors from 2005 until now!#doctor who #polls #poll #someone probably has done this i just missed it lol...#yes yes i know this is the epitome of pitting bad bitches against each other i'm sorry...#i'm just interested!#also if you can't choose a favourite just go with your first? or the one you think has the best characterisation or whatever

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yo9urt · 4 months

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i am the god of gaming

#mine #some of you may remember a previous post i made where i said i accidentally locked myself out of ast4ri0n romance #well. yesterday i figured out what exactly i did wrong/what i missed #and i had the insane luck to have ONE SINGULAR AUTOSAVE LEFT #that was old enough to get me back to the point in the story i needed to be at #so i went back to that autosave and did what needed to be done #AND IM ROMANCING HIM NOW AUAW7FAIF8UJFKF #EMD!!!!HEU8RJKFE9SSO!!!)!0494 #im literally so happy #and i got two really good screenshots of the confession scene but i cant even look at them because i get too excited #i was able to re-finish up act 2 yesterday and rn the party is just chilling at the gate leading to act 3 #i'm gonna have to replay a fair amount of stuff but yesterday's replaying went well #i think it should be a little faster the 2nd time around and MUCH more enjoyable now that i have what i wanted #SO HAPPY!!#this game is aweosme

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princekirijo · 2 months

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I'm so excited to share Riku's persona designs at some point

#captain au tag #i need a name for this au so bad tbh i like captain but like its a bit boring #anyway i have 3/5 designed 😈#not totally fully because I'm constantly refining little details and stuff #but his initial ultimate and black mask personas are like at a stage where im really happy #and i know im happy cause i keep drawing them #colouring them not so much but me and colours have never been good friends 😭#now all i have to do is make a cool piece for them. or have a ref sheet. or something #next up will be his third semester design and tbh im excited for that one #i really like the concept of the third semester personas but i think the execution of them was hit or miss #then once thats done i will be designing a new one for him 😈 an au specific one 😈#y'all can thank nico for that lmao #what can i say i just love designing personas. big passion of mine

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keeps-ache · 2 months

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i have been BETRAYED. i've been thrown to the grappling arms of damnation and i've found that the exit was merely a dim recollection of another place !!

#just me hi #my grandma called and my mother handed me the phone with a devious-azz look on her face and in my groggy innocence i asked 'hello? what?'#and my grandma asked me to sing for her over the phone i think i'll just turn myself into a puddle and ddddiiiieee Hfbvhsf #i'm being extra melodramatic because i just woke up and thaz just how it eez lmaoo #but like MAN i got no heads up i'm going to explode vfhsfhvs #i'm fine w/ just doing whatever but don't Askkkk meeee now i'm all jittery and Mannnn #AUHHH i was off-pitch and wobbly and pitchy i'm going to live in a muddy little ditch forever hbvfhs #she liked it which is nice but I DIDN'T FHSHF #'you're a performer' tell that to these NERVES !!!#i was sleeeeeepinnnngg is there no compassion for the snoozing auuauahaufhuhbfvhsbgh #SOB.#putting my mother + sister on the list for that one. traitors traitors all of them hbvhsfh #diabolical behavior. completely insidious. can't beleeb they done this to me #genuinely couldn't even tap out of it cuz i was Sleepy and had no brain. RIP one more fool hfhsh #//aside from the beTRAYAL and other suchenings. what is up man hfhsfhv #i drew some sick p1nk space stuff in my sketchbook which is just a shame bc i can't colour it and i can't show it to anybody Hfvbh #i rarely ever use the full page for sketching but i really like the results they look good :D #nobody knows who Fate is i think but if you do i finally have a settled design for her hfvhs :DD #the dress is needing work.. you are NOT going out like that miss lady ma'am hvfshfb #/wondering about the medium for this project too #comic would work best for me bc well. it takes two things i like to do and mushes them into a delightful mess loll :>#//there has been a sudden shift in my brain chemicals and now i'm going to play a game hhfsh :333 #toodles noodles !!

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mattodore · 10 months

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hello... both of mattodore's questionnaires are finally finished after twelve grueling days..........

#river dipping #questionnaire lb #image pictured is what i look like right now as i stare at both of them #matthias's is a steady 9.4k even after the first round of editing but um.......................................... theo's is 11.5k... :_)#i do in fact feel delirious thanks for asking #also i miss them so so bad... i haven't opened the sims even once since i started doing this #so there's been zero spinning them around in cas which is just so cruel... i've been deprived #but i'm already opening the game so i can take updated character photos for them (since i'll be using them for these questionnaires)#and the joy i'm feeling currently is thru the roof #i'm so behind on everything now tho... gulps.#i think i'll get these photos done and then i'll move on to either editing these questionnaires or catching up first...#i've been glancing at my notifs on my phone so i've been seeing every kmik update that pops up and i'm so excited to read all of them #literally theeeeeeeeee best thing to come out of simblr to me #and i've missed you allllllllllllll #sorry for taking so long to reply to things i'm gonna do that soon i swear!!#and i'll try to space out my catching up so i don't flood everyone's dash but i can't promise that i won't go crazy when i catch up on #my favorite legacies kmik and wifey fdjnkgjhkfnj

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 10 months

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sometimes I think about The Last and want to scream

#I hate that I love it I hate that it's so out of pocket and uncalled for and downright out of line but SO COMPELLING AND FASCINATING #LIKE THE CHARACTER WORK THAT ONE AUDIO DOES IS INSANE???????#Everyone In This TARDIS (which is missing) Is Suicidal #and I am not even kidding they ARE #C'rizz seeing ghosts. he always sees dead people but this isn't that it's just that he's almost like them but not quite yet #he's always been haunted it just happens more now.#eight's failure and perception thereof he hates himself but still thinks he's the only one who can handle it but he can't handle it #charley who's been on the other end of it who knows what c'rizz has been through and done and who knows what it's like to be asked #STILL asking him to kill her if it comes to it even though she KNOWS it would shatter him bc it already HAS and it already shattered HER #and eight oh eight oh doctor at the end of his rope I am in fact always thinking about the way he says oh what the hell at the end of it #he doesn't care if he lives or dies he's at the end of his rope and has lost all hope he's failed everyone who loves him not only charley #who miraculously still trusts him to some degree even after he broke her into pieces not only charley who he loves #but also c'rizz who did still have that open honest trust in him c'rizz his hesitant beginning to be friend #c'rizz who he understands and who understands him bc the kinship and silent bond between them existed even then #someone remind me to go get my rant on scaredy cat's importance and spruce it up I need to talk about it #because the doctor did love c'rizz too he DID charley was wrong!!! the writers were wrong!!! everyone was wrong about them!!!#he LOVED him but it was so different as to be almost unrecognizable I'm going to CRY #THEY MEANT SO MUCH TO EACH OTHER ALL THREE OF THEM THEY COULDN'T EXIST WITHOUT EACH OTHER ANYMORE #THEY LOST ONE THEN THE OTHER AND NONE OF THEM WAS THE SAME ANYMORE #only in the Last it happened in the wrong order. not the way it was supposed to be.#Lu rambles #dweu #meta finding tag #eighth doctor #charley pollard #c'rizz

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stardustedknuckles · 2 years

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The problem with becoming friends with people while all of you are going through some awful trauma is that if you're not careful you won't know how to keep being friends without it. Growth is a good thing, but that can be easy to forget when every step forward you take makes you worry those people won't be in your life anymore and you subconsciously feel like you have to manufacture some kind of ongoing crisis so you guys have something to talk about. Friendships formed in the face of hardship are strong and fierce things, and the relationship fading as your lives improve doesn't mean it wasn't real. It just served its purpose. You all made it out alive, and that was why you found each other in the first place. This is a hard and shitty lesson to learn.

#I miss my core group of friends but my god we were held together by the stress in our lives #We leaned hard on each other and we needed that #But none of us knew how to have a regular friendship with low stakes #And the other three figured it out before I did #So it was just me trying to offer news about my life but it was all... Not even negative just A Lot #And they had moved into stability and didn't need that anymore #And from my point of view if I didn't talk nobody would #Which ended up being true #I got better and offered good things going on in my life and they just.... Stopped #Being friends with them was necessary for that part of my life #Of all of our lives #We all met in college and needed each other the few years after when life was still a mess but without the structure of schoolwork #I'm grateful to have known them #But there's no doubt they saw me as a younger sibling #And the more I began to make my own decisions the more they pushed back #And got upset when I didn't take their advice #I hope they're well #But I think I'm done being hurt that they've moved on #Good for them #Now I have regular friendships too - even deep ones - and they're nothing like that was #I'm no longer doing joint survival mode #mundane adventures

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emile-hides · 1 year

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I did it gamers... I finished the Fairy Tail anime....... I’m gonna be so abnormal for the next few weeks

#Fairy Tail #So when's 100 year quest gonna get animated #I was pretty done with canon like 10 episodes ago then I reached the end and now I miss it already #I'm gonna write X Readers everyone give me your strength I'm gonna write X Readers #And AUs I have so many AUs to sketch out and concepts to think about #I need to just simmer in thought for a bit #I need to talk about them too tho prompt me please prompt me #I need to be verbal I need to type it all out I need to say it all out loud #I need to hold Freed physically in my arms my precious stupid son #Juvia too I'm going to hit Grey so hard 9 seasons my guy and all you can say is you MIGHT find her body attractive????#Treat my baby girl with more respect than that young man or we're gonna have words #I'm gonna be so abnormal mark my words

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byanyan · 7 months

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main verse updates, developments, & additional headcanons

ㅤthanks to lena practically dragging them into it, byan is on the track team that she coaches at school. though they initially weren't all that interested, it's something they've come to enjoy a lot (even if they sometimes have to stop running for a little coughing fit) — they've always enjoyed physical activity, always enjoyed sports, but have never been particularly cooperative when it came to team sports (and always broke rules and got too violent when they'd try martial arts or boxing), so track suits them quite well. they quickly became one of the top performing team members and, though things were certainly rough in the beginning with byan being very abrasive and uninterested in their teammates, they've actually ended up pretty friendly with most of them over the months since they joined.

ㅤalthough they never planned to go to college, having zero interest in continuing in school once they were finally out of the hell of high school, they've come around on it a bit. this is mostly thanks to both lena and sol's encouragement and helping them realize they can go to learn something they actually care about — fashion design. almost entirely because of these two, byan is planning to apply to the local community college and is in the process of building a portfolio of their work for this purpose.

ㅤbecause of this plan, they're slowly becoming a (slightly) better student: attending class more regularly (though still skipping fairly often), paying a bit more attention in class, and even completing and handing in homework. they're actually on track to graduate now rather than flunking out. they may not graduate with flying colours, but it's enough for a diploma and that's all they care about.

ㅤjust because they're doing better doesn't mean that things are perfect, though. they still get discouraged a lot in their struggle with their (still undiagnosed) dyslexia, general inferiority complex, and overall difficulty in the typical school setting. it's not uncommon to hear them ranting about changing their mind about college, see them throw a textbook across the room, or catch them straight up burning their homework out of frustration. if they're feeling particularly awful and discouraged, they have a tendency to disappear for a few days, get themself into even more trouble than usual, get themself into more fights, and numb themself with drugs and/or alcohol. they come back around eventually, but sometimes it takes a bit of coaxing.

ㅤthough they still technically live in the group home, they spend almost no time there anymore, only really stopping by for food or appointments (when they don't blow them off, anyway). most nights they're either crashing on lena's couch or at sol's place, and even most of their belongings have been moved and split between these two locations.

ㅤat this point, the caretakers at the group home have more or less given up on trying to keep an eye on them or expecting any different behaviour from them. they've been in this particular home for several years at this point and, with their eighteenth birthday fast approaching (and with it the time where they'll be unable to stay there any longer), not much point is seen in trying to change anything anymore. byan has always been difficult to keep a handle on, efforts at controlling them to any extent met with aggressive rebellion, and it isn't seen as worth the hassle anymore. at least if they're off doing their own thing all the time, it means they're causing less trouble around the home.

ㅤthe boy they share a room with in the home, si-u, still covers for them a lot of the time, telling the caretakers and staff that oh yeah, byan was totally here last night. byan suspects he mostly does this because he likes having a room to himself, but it results in them being hounded a little less all the same, so they appreciate it.

ㅤof course, just because their future is looking a little less grim doesn't mean that everything has changed. they might have a boyfriend now, might have found themself some actual friends and even some familial figures, but they're still byan. they still love to go out and get themself into trouble, still love to fight, steal, and cause havoc for others, and still have a tendency to get themself in over their head or disappear without warning when their ptsd acts up. things are looking up and they might be feeling more fulfilled but, when it comes down to it, they're still them, and they still have a long way to go.

#feels like i'm missing something but this is most of what i've wanted to put out there #i want to make more of an effort at like. involving byan's development thanks to other muses consistent across the verse #i want it to have actual impact on them as a character no matter who i'm interacting with #i want their relationships with other muses to matter!!#i want to be able to mention the important people in their life in threads with others!!!#i want stuff to matter i want it all to intertwine i'm done with keeping everyone separate #and i'm done putting byan back to their default state when interacting with someone new!!!!!#their main verse especially will develop as their relationships with others develop and help them to grow and change as a person & characte #so here it is!!! this is where their main verse is at now thank u for ur time #......i'm actually having so much fun getting way to into talking about their verses though #so i think i'm gonna do one for their college verse & perhaps the future verse beyond that where they're an Adult adult too #possibly tonight while it's like. right here buzzing around in the front of my head.#idk bc i wanted to do some replies too but. we'll see we'll see i'm just rolling with it today #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ headcanon ⋮ danger in the fabric of this thing i made.#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ verse: modern ⋮ come on up / bring the pain.#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ verse details.

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magentagalaxies · 11 months

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Jessamine is Passionate About Fictional AI Sentience But Not Real AI Sentience: An Essay

one thing about me is when it comes to talk of "sentient" AI irl i 100% don't buy it like technology is not that advanced and being able to act like a person doesn't make it a person, however whenever there's a question about if a fictional AI character is sentient i will go to bat for that character's humanity 100% of a time like fuck you they have just as much of a right to personhood as anyone else

i think it's bc in fiction like. all of these characters are fake, so distinguishing between which characters are fake-real and fake-fake is like. why limit yourself to what could happen in our world. like if we're already dealing with a universe where aliens/magic/etc. exists, why can't this android justifiably be as human as anyone else? plus irl almost all AI software is developed as part of this capitalistic hell structure we're in. no matter how "real" or "human" it feels, its function is to make you contribute to its creators' wealth, and its inability to go against this nature can't help but make it feel hollow and inhuman. however, all the best AI characters in fiction are able to go against their designated purpose, often being defined by it, and often being villainized for it

in our real world, the AI's "immoral" "behavior" is a product of it being a Things that serves capitalism. it's not making choices based on a sense of self beyond what it has been told to prioritize, and a lot of times this lack of human judgment can lead to terrible consequences (e.g. mental health AI chatbots that cannot accurately judge a situation and give appropriate advice, employed because it's cheaper than hiring human staff). but in fiction? AI's immoral behavior is frequently a product of it going against its designated purpose, seeing itself as a person and having to make difficult and morally questionable choices in order to strive for the feelings of personhood and autonomy. this is a far more interesting situation ethically (while an AI itself cannot be seen as morally responsible for its actions in our world, in fiction this AI wants to be a person so badly it's willing to commit moral wrongs to achieve its goal, despite the fact that true personhood would allow it to be seen as morally responsible for these crimes) which i think is also why AI characters, especially those that, y'know, kill people, are often very polarizing figures. this conversation can even be taken a step further into the "liking a fictional character does not mean condoning their actions" discourse, but i also often think about well, if you were in the position of this AI character, would you have done the same?

personally i've always found it very easy to empathize with "artificial" characters like clones, robots, etc. and fictional AI is no different. yes, if you're watching a piece of media and expecting the logic of our world, the AI is fake, and incapable of being a person. but if you're watching a piece of media with the goal of emotionally connecting to fictional characters (who are all inherently fake) and exploring universal themes through a heightened setting, AI characters are one of the most interesting tropes to explore this with. personally, I love AI characters because there's something so vivid about knowing you were designed for a specific purpose/life path and ultimately realizing that's not the life you, personally, want to live. your designers and the world around you doesn't even recognize you as a being that should be capable of wanting anything, much less something completely different, so achieving the life you want is an uphill battle of convincing others of your humanity and, when that often isn't possible, having to resort to the most extreme tactics to claw your way out of the life you were supposed to lead. you know no matter how close you get to this ideal life, there's always going to be some part of you that keeps others from perceiving you as "human", but you learn to embrace that and see every mundane experience as a major achievement

this narrative is especially relatable to me as a neurodivergent/nonbinary person, but i think it can be relatable for many different marginalized identities in different ways, or anyone whose "humanity" has been something often denied to them. but because people are often expecting fictional AI to follow the same logic as actual AI, when i defend robot characters who want to kill their human creators, people give me weird looks like i'm advocating for that in real life. listen, if our current AI situation feasibly produced an AI who was invented for one specific purpose but somehow fucking hated her job and was able to pursue a new life and was also queer (all without any of this being by design) then hell yeah i support her, but that's not what's happening. and in our current capitalistic chatbot hellscape where every company wants to convince you that you're chatting with a super intelligent AI friend to get you to pay for a premium membership, sometimes you have to hold fiction and reality to different standards and enjoy this story about a quest for humanity while also accepting that the people this journey applies to in our real world are often the ones being taken advantage of in our increasingly AI-dominated real world.

idk this was originally supposed to be a short post about how it's funny that i'm so goddamn passionate about AI characters in media while also not being into AI in the real world, but then i got thinking about why this is specifically and came to an interesting conclusion imo. tbh it's very surprising that i don't currently have any of my own projects featuring AI characters fighting for their own humanity bc it's a theme i love so much that i've rarely seen done right and i have so many opinions on it. maybe i will write something about this at some point, but for now if you have any pieces of media you enjoy with AI who are absolutely worthy of personhood pls send them my way!

#this post is obviously inspired by how much i love the concept of droid23 and constantly mourn their wasted potential #fans so often reduce them to ''evil doubles'' and have even questioned if emdroid is actually designed for violence #and the writers seem to endorse this villain interpretation #but personally? i think it's so much more interesting to think of them as real people in their own rights #yes their actions are immoral. but if they hadn't made that choice they themselves would never get to live any kind of life #and i think the story's so much more fascinating if this capitalistic structure that brought them into existence just for cheap labor #is the real villain #and the android/clone ''murderers'' while still committing a heinous act are given empathy for how they were forced into that situation #bc the only alternative would be to be denied any kind of personhood #i'm also thinking about cyborg noodle (bc i've been on a gorillaz kick lately)#idk if they've done anything with the character since phase 3 when noodle went missing #but i think it's fascinating the idea of like. noodle was canonically part of a child supersoldier experiment as a little kid #basically being designed for the life purpose of being a soldier. but instead she joined gorillaz to be a guitarist #and then when she went missing murdoc made a cyborg clone of her to be the new guitarist #but as soon as the real noodle came back they didn't need her anymore #and it would also be fascinating to bring cyborg noodle back bc noodle as a character essentially grew up throughtout the phases #(like she was 10 years old in the debut album‚ 14-ish in demon days‚ 18-ish in plastic beach‚ now she'd be in her 30s)#but i think the cyborg would always be a clone of noodle in phase two #so idk i doubt they'll do anything with this bc it's too character-heavy #but i'm very curious what the dynamic would be if they brought cyborg-noodle back. and if she wanted to be seen as her own person #especially if she's very different than the noodle we know today bc the ''real'' noodle has grown separately

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