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plutoswrath · 3 years

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☆.｡.:* Happy Xiaojun Day! .｡.:*☆

In order to celebrate our leo kings birthday, I wanted to write an astrological appreciation post about our dear dog dad and vocal king Xiaojun! <3

☼ Leo Sun + Cancer Moon and Mercury: I know his Moon sign could differ depending on his birth time, but I'd hold close to him having a Cancer Moon! That being said, here, the Sun and Moon are both in their home. Generally, I think this combination makes Xioajun so endearhingly honest in his quirks. There is just a genuinity about him that can't be denied when the Sun sits in Leo and is all about self expression, while Moon and Mercury sit in Cancer, hinting towards emotional comfort/familarity, connecting and leading by sensitivity and emotional awareness, intelligence and richness. Xiaojun's sensitivity reflects in many ways (like his cautiousness), but for me it has always been the typical warmth and care that he can show towards others (I'm side eyeing Bella here, remember how he put lotion on her paws once and how he holds her like a baby all the time??), as well as his more or less hidden 'quirkiness', due to Cancer Mercury's strong emotional perception of the environment. And I think even though Xiaojun always earns one or two stares/comments from others for his very honest and direct reactions and opinions, it's also this more or less intentionaly ongoing honesty about his inner world that makes him so loveable (and also very relatable, but what's new with Cancer placements and there relatability).

☼ Leo Sun + Scorpio Mars: Before I get into the interpretation of this combo, I just quickly want to notice that it doesn't matter what his Ascendant is at the end of the day, trust me when I say that you'll see the Scorpio Mars reflect in the eyes of an individual who owns this placement at one point in their life, and boy does Xiaojun has the Scorpio Mars stare sometimes! Despite Xiaojun having remarkable eyes (and eyebrows), you can clearly see that no matter how 'soft' he appears, there is a drive to do his best and proove himself that he's fully capable of reaching his goals and becoming what he wants to be (now I'm side-eyeing Mark because it seems that they have this trait in common as they are both Leo Sun and Scorpio Mars individuals). I believe if there's one thing that's motivating him, then it's definitely to trust in becoming an even greater version of himself than he was before.

☼ Pluto trine Sun: Again, still waters run deep. Not to say that Xiaojun is a quiet individual, but power comes from within and doesn't need to be demonstrated by talking big or actions all the time. Pluto contacting the Sun hints to someone very vital, someone who regenerates easily and is knowingly tenacious. I think the tenacity is something that shows up in his chart quiet a lot, next to strong will power and ambition. Scorpio Mars is the quiet strategist, Cancer Moon clings to emotional needs until they are fulfilled. Jupiter in Taurus is excellent in working consistently on long term goals. The strong fixed energy can actually benefit from Pluto touching his Sun, doubling his will power and helping him staying on his desired path.

☼ Jupiter Sextile Moon: Expansion of emotional satisfaction and connecting easily with others, as well as benefitting from social engagement on a deeper, more personal level. I would really love to know in which area of his life this aspect plays out, but wishul thinking aside, I think the close connections in his life and his physical home in general, can be place to truly regain strength from. Thrives on the emotional and mental richness and insight he gets out of the intimate connections in his life. Generous with being emotionally available for the people close to him, also helping him tap more into making use of any creative potentials inside of him. Probably makes him enjoy being a homebody even more and gets a lot out of the times he spends with the people close in his life or at his 'home' (however he defines this term) in general.

#xiaojun <33333333333333 #yeah that's it nothing more to add to this <3333333 #august and february are truly the most exhausting months though :///#nct aka the place to be for every aquarius and leo #nct #wayv #xiaojun #xiao dejun #nct headcanons #nct astrology #astrology #zodiac #kpop astrology #nct imagines #wayv fluff #wayv imagines #Wayv headcanons #Wayv astrology

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signaturedish · 4 years

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I found out that there is a name for struggling with emotions and hilariously it's making me feel an emotion that I can't identify. But I finally, FINALLY have a word and explanation and it is so GOOD. Alexythymia. Anyways, I bring it up because I'm especially curious if you think any cybertronians may have this? My first thought was honestly Megatron. XD - Optical Admirer (P.S. I'll send a second with what it is in case you don't have time/energy to look it up.)

So to explain alexythymia, I gotta explain how emotions happen. The body has a physical reaction to something and the brain translates that + the situation to an emotion. Alexythymia means either the body doesn't produce those signs in the body, or the brain can't interpret the signs. A fast beating heart could mean many things, arousal, fear, anger. Most people would know while staring at something scary that it's not because they're horny. People with alexythymia aren't sure... - OA 1/5

... what they're feeling. They may not even recognize there IS something to feel. This isn't psychopathy btw, people with alexythymia could have an angry face, gesture wildly, and be yelling... and not know they're angry. They can feel emotions, but the body may not show them well or their brain seriously can't identify even the clearest of signs in themself what the emotion is. They can also label emotions incorrectly. For me, I have two that emotions often get shunted to. - OA 2/5

Amusement and Frustration. If I feel a lighter emotion, a 'happier' one I guess, I usually just call it 'amused'. If it's heavier and 'sharp', I call it 'frustrated'. Those are the two I often use because they're what I often translate from my body. Most of the time, there is nothing for me. I do have other emotions, but I'm trying to keep it a tad simple. This may or may not be the norm (shifting emotions), but I read of at least another person doing it, but with anger and fear. - OA 3/5

This means people with alexythymia do also struggle with empathy too. If we can't really identify our own emotions, it's hard to identify emotions in others. Not impossible, for absolutely sure. It's often a struggle though, especially in similar looking emotions. It does lead to interpersonal problems, but can be overcome with time. We just have to manually learn how each emotion looks on a person in particular, and how to react to that emotion. Which leads me to the last part! - OA 4/5

We often end up memorizing 'procedures' for how to react to situations. Our emotions can't comprehendingly or quickly lead us through situations that require such. So we memorize what other people do and how they react. Honestly, this does lead to problems where everything feels fake, because a good chunk.... kind of is? We do care about people though, we just may not have the words. With training and therapy, recognizing emotions can get better, but will always be a struggle. - OA 5/5

Thanks so much for this information, Optical Admirer! I’ve never heard of anything like this but it sounds so interesting! One of my favorite gen ed courses in college was physiological psychology because the way people function and percieve is so complex. It’s fascinating!

This sort of disorder sounds very nuanced and interconnected with other atypical psychologies but I can’t help = but wonder what sort of physical component might contribute to this. A deficiency somewhere? A difficulty transferring information between hemispheres? I did look this up lol, but it’s new and largely related to cognition so there doesn’t seem to be much certainty, unfortunately.

I don’t need to tell you any of this of course, I’m sure you’ve heard it all before. Thank you for sharing your experience and I hope your alexythymia doesn’t cause you too much trouble in your day-to-day life.

If you don’t mind my saying so, you sound very well put together and from my perspective, empathetic and compassionate. I’m so glad you have access to resources such as therapy and that they appear to be effective. I have a relative with very mild autism that mostly affects his emotional maturity and empathy so while I can’t speak to this sort of challenge myself, I can say that I have seen and appreciate the conscious effort that goes into being social and connecting with others.

If you would like to share any other experiences (in anon or privately) I’m always here!

As for how this psychology might be applied to the transformers...

You have more authority on the subject so let me know if you disagree with any of this!

Honestly, a lot of Decepticons could be safely considered alexythymiac. In my au, a majority have tweaked with their own programming for streamlining specialties and gaining an edge in combat against the Autobots and their social protocols were the first to go. Lack of empathy and social awareness run rampant in their ranks.

Frenzy doesn’t bother addressing any of his issues, he’s not sure how he feels and he interacts haphazardly with basically everyone to the point of gaining a reputation for being spastic and temperamental. He’s not, but he doesn’t bother correcting that perception, he doesn’t care for anyone outside his handler. So long as he can infiltrate and communicate the information he recovers, he can validate himself.

Seekers largely dodged this trend because their social intricacies are their edge and quick, long-lasting bonds are what make them terrors in flight formations. But bots like Megatron now have difficulty handling nuanced emotion or reading it in others. They aren’t emotionless by any stretch and are fully capable of social bonds, it’s just more difficult to take on and maintain.

Megatron especially filters most of his emotions through rage and pleasure. This may have once been habit in his grandstanding to appear without weakness, but now it’s a reality. It’s not that he doesn’t feel anything else, but it’s easier to attribute whatever that emotion is to either camp and actualize from there.

Optimus could be considered the poster child for alexythymia as Wikipedia has led me to understand it. Just like those with the condition, he is caring and aware of his perceptions. And while he is very good at managing himself and his own emotions, he has a great deal of difficulty with direct, physical empathy in real-time. It’s hard for him to anticipate how someone dissimilar from him might feel, like he’s honed his self-perception so finely that now he’s only an expert on the exclusive psychology of Optimus Prime.

Bumblebee is bad at interacting with Harry, for example, because he’s never been around a child and has a poor understanding of them. Optimus has been around countless children, but because they’re so removed from how he thinks and behaves he can’t easily identify their emotions or extrapolate on why they feel the way they do. Just like those with alexythymia, he needs to consciously establish every emotion on an individual and study their inner workings to connect with that individual.

All of them can, have, and will, establish strong connections, it’s only their rate of success and necessary deliberation that is different from other, more social bots.

What do you think? Did I miss one? Did you disagree with any of these? Let me know why!

#optical admirer #Anon ask #sd speaks #transfomers #perfectly alien #perfectly alien au #alexythymia #optimus prime #megatron #frenzy

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spooniemumoftwo · 4 years

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People Therapy

We naturally find ourselves drawn to people with certain personalities. People say opposites attract, and I do think that's true ... my husband and I are opposites in so many ways, but in others we match completely. I am very lucky to be surrounded by an amazing family and some of the most supportive and best friends ever, and wouldn't be without any of them.

Family is Everything

My sister and I grew up watching our Mum live life daily with ME, and witnessed first hand, through a child’s eyes, the impact this incredibly debilitating illness has on the person suffering with it, as well as on their family and friends. We sat with our Mum as she took time off work, we experienced her own frustrations when she was not able to do things she wanted to do, and we also watched her fight and push through flares of her symptoms, putting us first, before her own needs. We witnessed, and now understand more, our Dad's emotions regarding this illness. The frustration, and sadness; the hope that things would improve, and his determination to support his wife and us, his children. I thought I understood to some extent, what Mum was telling us about how she felt, but I didn’t. It’s only now, whilst experiencing the same symptoms and annoyances myself, that I can fully identify with how my Mum has felt for over thirty years. I have come to realise that ME CFS is something you can’t fully understand or describe to someone unless you have the experience of this debilitating illness yourself.

My mum has been unwell with this horrible invisible illness since I was a very small child, and yet my sister and I were always her priority. We knew that, and yet, it still wasn't possible for us not to notice what was happening. We were there when Mum had to take time off work, we watched her carry out jobs and errands despite not feeling well. We were there when she felt better, and we were there through the harder days she experienced.

My Mum and Dad have supported me in a way only a parent can. They've been there through hard times, to listen, advise and support, and through the good times too. They've helped with my children when I've needed support, and they've shown me strategies to use myself on this journey they've travelled before me. I cannot express how grateful I am for their endless love and support.

My sister has been a rock. My confidant, and my friend. She's often been the first person to know when things are hard, and most likely when things are good too. She has been there with me through thick and thin. As the saying goes, my sister and I are definitely 'Sisters by chance, friends by choice!'

For better, for worse

I've been with my husband for 15 years, married for 10. I'm not sure which one of us deserves the medal more. We have two beautiful children, who keep us busy daily. Life isn't always easy or straight forward, but we are happy!

My husband is journeying along the learning curve of ME CFS with me and I think we are reaching some mutual understanding of what's going on. I have very fond memories of a teacher who often referred (and still refers) to our learning of music in choir as a vertical learning curve, and our ME CFS journey so far definitely feels like that ... no curve, just straight up! We work together as a team to implement strategies and consider changes we could employ to make things easier for us both. His thinking has changed somewhat, as has mine, and I'm forever grateful, despite the usual marital frustrations, for his understanding and ongoing support. He didn't sign up for this when he proposed or said 'I do'!

Ten years ago, our wedding vows contained the traditional 'in sickness and in health, for better, for worse' promises to each other. We didn't make our vows naively of course, but I'm not sure either of us allowed ourselves to envisage chronic illness in our future together. Despite my awareness of my Mum's ongoing ME CFS, I'm certain that my diagnosis of the same condition was a surprise to us both.

Glitter and Dirt

Our two children are a blessing. We have a 7 year old daughter and an almost 5 year old son. Glitter and Dirt, chalk and cheese. They keep us busy beyond belief most days, but their empathy and individual personalities amaze us every day!

We've grown two little mini me's. How crazy is that!

Our son was just 18 months old when I was first unwell and our oldest was three and a half. Life was pretty full on. But, with help from family and friends, and a great deal of stubbornness on my part, we pushed on. I wasn't able to let go and put me first ... I had two little people in tow!

Like my Mum, all those years ago, I know that our little people are, and always will be my priority. The days we've had picnics in bed (sorry Mum, I know you'll hate that!), and story time all day; the days we've watched too many films, and the days we've managed long walks in the sunny countryside, we've made memories and still had fun. These little people keep me going! They exhaust me, I'm not going to lie, but their enthusiasm for life and fun, and their contagious laughter is unending! Five o'clock in the morning may not be the best time for them to showcase their enthusiasm for life, but that's a work in progress. It is extremely hard some days to be a mum and manage my ME CFS, but I can't imagine things being any other way. My children are my world ... I'd do anything for them.

The language of friendship

I am surrounded by a number of really valuable and special friends. People who understand me and what's going on; people who know me better than I know myself, and people who will willingly tell me what I need to hear rather than what I want to hear, to help me see sense and make sensible decisions.

Without my friends, some of whom have physically escorted me to medical appointments to ensure I give all the facts, and to make sure I don't say things are ‘okay’ when they aren't, things could be very different. My husband often persuades me to slow down, with a mere suggestion that if I don't listen, he will message a particular friend who has no issues with telling me off as a last resort, and, sometimes it takes that threat to help me see sense. I don't give in, ever, and my friends who know me well, will know that my stubbornness is a huge wall for me, as well as being a huge frustration for those who care about me and want to help.

Friends really are as important as family. My friends and family are my rock, each and every one of them.

A common difference

It always amazes me when I speak to people about my ME CFS and they understand. It's a very mixed feeling; relief that someone understands and can empathise, yet concern and a degree of sadness that they do understand. Through talking about my journey so far, with friends and family, I've learned that a number of my friends and extended family members also have diagnoses similar to mine. We share that unknown, that answer, and that common difference.

I have spoken with my Mum on numerous occasions about her experiences of ME CFS in comparison with my own experiences so far. It has been incredibly powerful for me to speak to people who have been or are going through the same learning and realisation as me, some of whom are in a similar time of their lives as me, others who are at a very different stage in both their lives and their journey with ME CFS. Sharing our experiences, talking about how we feel, and writing our thoughts and feelings down have been hugely therapeutic.

It's a blessing some days, to not have to go into detail, or equally to feel the need to respond neutrally with 'okay thanks' when someone asks 'how are you?' To have that shared understanding when the unspoken words are interpreted and recognised, without saying a word, not only saves valuable energy in an interaction, but it also reinforces the value of intuition and a shared experience that may be so hugely different, yet so similar to mine. Everyone's journey is different, yet there will be some aspects that are very similar.

It's not ‘what’, but ‘who’ that is important

My family and friends have been phenomenal throughout all of this, with offers of help with my children, offers of company or just a natter when things have felt tough, and a hug. I never realised before the coronavirus crisis, quite how tactile I was as a person. I've always been a 'hugger' but I never acknowledged quite how much that hug was for me as much as the person I was hugging. Just a simple embrace from family or a friend can make things feel okay some days, and it's something I've really missed over the last few months.

I saw a quote recently, source unknown, which really resonated with me. 'There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family.' People really are therapy, and my family and friends have carried me through the last few years. Knowing I'm not alone; that we as a family are not alone on this journey is a massive blessing. As much as I would never wish ME CFS on anyone, knowing that people understand and care makes things so much easier.

#ME/CFS #MECFS #cfs/me #cfsme #myalgic encephalomyelitis #chronic fatigue syndrome #chronic illness #spoonies #spoonie #spooniemumoftwo

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