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linghxr · 1 year

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I watched all the Chinese idol survival shows so you don’t have to (but you should anyway)

About three years ago, I watched 创造101 Produce 101 China, and it kinda changed my life. Yes, really! This show dragged me down a rabbit hole that eventually led to me watching many more Chinese shows and listening to almost exclusively Chinese music. I’m even branching out to cdramas now. All under the guise of, um, improving my listening comprehension!

OK, so “all the Chinese idol survival shows” might be an exaggeration. I’ll be talking about these three classic idol group survival shows from the “golden age” period of 2018-2021:

>> 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You (iQiyi)

偶像练习生 Idol Producer

青春有你1 Youth with You 1

青春有你2 Youth with You 2

青春有你3 Youth with You 3

>> 创造101 Produce 101/创造营 Chuang (Tencent)

创造101 Produce 101 China

创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019

创造营2020 Chuang 2020

创造营2021 Chuang 2021

>> 以团之名 All For One/少年之名 We Are Young (Youku)

以团之名 All For One

少年之名 We Are Young

Here is the order I actually watched these 10 seasons in:

创造101 Produce 101 China

青春有你2 Youth with You 2

创造营2020 Chuang 2020

创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019

偶像练习生 Idol Producer

青春有你1 Youth with You 1

青春有你3 Youth with You 3

创造营2021 Chuang 2021

以团之名 All For One

少年之名 We Are Young

I started 创造101 Produce 101 China in late 2019/early 2020 and finished 少年之名 We Are Young on Christmas Day 2022. I was literally tearing up. Three franchises, ten seasons, something around 1000 contestants, and three years of my life.

In order to refresh my memory for this post, I rewatched almost all of the performance clips from these shows. I didn’t watch the initial evaluations or any practice room videos (it’s simply too much content). It was simultaneously fun and exhausting. I will go over why you should/shouldn’t watch each season and give any other notable remarks. Let’s get started!

*Please note that for any YouTube links below, there is a risk of muted sections, parts/entire episodes being unavailable, and missing/out of sync subtitles. For official links, whether or not a VIP subscription is needed may change in the future. Fansubbed content may have sections or entire episodes missing.

>> 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You (iQiyi)

iQiyi rebranded the series by changing its name from 偶像练习生 Idol Producer to 青春有你 Youth with You after the first season. However, they really didn’t change much about the format at all. From what I’ve heard, iQiyi doesn’t have as large a budget as Tencent, which you can see reflected in the show’s production quality. However, I’ve long felt that this franchise has a real charming quality that makes up for lack of flashy sets.

偶像练习生 Idol Producer

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed) Watch via Idol Producer Subs (English fansubs, missing part of finale)

Why you should watch it: Though not China’s first idol survival show, this show was the first of a new era. It’s iconic! The theme song is a bop, 10/10. Also, I had heard of all of the winners before I watched this season, so there’s some real cultural relevance. I can’t believe it was nearly five years ago! The whole top 20 remains iconic to this day. In most seasons, there are at least one or two popular contestants who I don’t really like or don’t see the appeal of, but that wasn’t the case this season. This season is also a lot shorter than later seasons, so it’s easier for those who are new to survival shows.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: As I mentioned, there is a lack of flashy sets/stages here. The background of the stage often looks empty. There were some performances that were better than I remembered, but there were others that were...not. I’m pretty sure 黄明昊 Justin was 15 when the show began, which shocks me in a BAD way. And if you’re a Jackson Wang fan, I think he barely appeared in the second half of the show.

My picks: 郑锐彬 Zheng Ruibin, 周彦辰 Zhou Yanchen, 蔡徐坤 Cai Xukun, 王子异 Wang Ziyi, 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie, 周锐 Zhou Rui

Favorite performance: PPAP A组 PPAP group A This was a powerhouse group. And it was hilarious to watch the boys’ reaction when they heard the whole song and realized the style was not at all what they had initially expected! They totally pulled it off though.

Iconic moments: 蔡徐坤 Cai Xukun’s outfit (and ego) in the initial evaluation, B-A-L-A-N-C-E, when we realized 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie can sing too, 林彦俊 Lin Yanjun's platinum hair, one of the songs was called Mack Daddy which causes me great distress to this day, 周锐 Zhou Rui aka 周美锐 Zhou Meirui, I’m still laughing over 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie’s resemblance to 胡巴 Huba.

Verdict: Though this was not my first idol survival show, I think it would be a great first foray for anyone. It’s iconic for a reason. You should watch it (and I might rewatch it).

青春有你1 Youth with You 1

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed) Watch via Qing Chun You Ni Subs (English fansubs)

Why you should watch it: This season is the forgotten child of the franchise, but it still had some great performances and a lot of talented contestants. The theme song is also probably my favorite out of all ten theme songs! It was love at first listen. Personally, I enjoyed this team of mentors more than the first season’s. I also feel that the vocal-based performances were stronger this season. For instance, there were great performances of 李荣浩 Li Ronghao songs.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: I feel that some of the magic of the first season was lost, and overall the contestants were not as memorable or charismatic in my opinion. There were also several contestants I found extremely irritating and some contestants who ranked much higher and last much longer on the show than I feel they should have based on their skill level...but I won’t name names.

My picks: 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu, 李振宁 Li Zhenning, 周士原 Zhou Shiyuan, 连淮伟 Li Huaiwei

Favorite performance: 隔壁泰山 A组 Neighboring Tarzan group A This is a very unusal song, but it’s so catchy and memorable. 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu really made this performance for me. And this song still gets stuck in my head months later!

Iconic moments: 冯俊杰 Feng Junjie and 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu trying to outdo each other, 胡春杨 Hu Chunyang looked angry 24/7 for no reason, they literally got 蔡依林! Jolin Tsai! as a mentor, 李汶翰 Li Wenhan was everyone’s older brother, their performance made me fall in love with the song 耳朵 Erduo, they kinda did a steampunk concept which I love.

Verdict: It’s not necessarily a must-watch, but I still enjoyed it. If you’ve fallen into the black hole of survival shows and want more, I think it’s worth your time.

青春有你2 Youth with You 2

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (English subs) Watch on YouTube (no English subs, missing several parts/episodes)

Why you should watch it: As iQiyi’s first time with female contestants, this season was highly anticipated. iQiyi stepped it up with subtitles, got Lisa from BLACKPINK as a mentor (I saw people say they came for Lisa and stayed for the trainees), and made a lot of content available on YouTube. As a result, some of the performances from this season have millions of views. It’s well deserved—a lot of the contestants are overflowing with talent and charisma. And honestly, you should watch this for 蔡徐坤. He’s a great MC/mentor to the girls and was truly a highlight of the season for me.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: This is the only season that I watched week by week as it was airing. It was EXHAUSTING. iQiyi started pumping out two episodes a week, doubling the overall episode count. I was literally burnt out by the finale. So if you watch this, please take it slow. Also, I forgot how much they did that thing where they cut away from the performances to show other contestant/mentor reactions and then have to go rewind on the performance...it really drives me nuts. They overdid it for sure.

My picks: 刘雨昕 Liu Yuxin, 喻言 Yu Yan, 王承渲 Wang Chengxuan, 刘令姿 Liu Lingzi, 许馨文 Xu Xinwen

Favorite performance: 不奉陪 No Company This was a tough choice! I went with this performance because I actively sought it out for relistens. That’s so rare for 主题考核 theme evaluation songs for me. All the members got to shine yet they were a very cohesive team.

Iconic moments: Bad Guy was the ultimate dark horse, how no one knew the song 想见你想见你想见你 Miss You 3000, 王承渲 Wang Chengxuan defeated the evil quads, 乃万 Nineone basically replaced Jony J as rap mentor, seeing 刘雨昕 Liu Yuxin with a wig was terrifying, they let the girls wear shorts if they didn’t like skirts #feminism, I still think about 张钰 Zhang Yu and 王清 Wang Qing’s initial performance all the time.

Verdict: I don’t think I could rewatch this season due to its length, but if you can commit the time, I think you should watch it. I’m sad I’ll never get to see a second 青春有你 Youth with You female season.

青春有你3 Youth with You 3

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, no VIP needed) Watch on iQiyi (no English subs, no VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs, missing several parts/episodes)

Why you should watch it: This season was probably the one I felt most emotionally invested in. I feel like I got to know the boys and was in it together with them (parasocial relationships, I know). And the friendships between contestants were so touching. Like 青春有你2 Youth with You 2, this season was also extra long, but I watched this season after it aired, going at my own pace. There were so many charming contestants and memorable performances. The dancing especially shone, but we got some great vocal moments too. I think iQiyi did a really good job picking songs this season.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: Sadly, the finale never aired. Due to the infamous milk-wasting scandal, the show was cancelled (but a winning group still formed and debuted). Even though I knew this before watching the show, it was still quite sad to never see a conclusion. Additionally, I believe this show started with more like 120 contestants, and I felt that increased number. Lastly, there was some painful singing and lots of very uninspired rapping. I feel like the gap in skill between the contestants was larger, and some of the teams felt very unbalanced as a result.

My picks: 姜京佐 Jiang Jingzuo, 杨昊铭 Yang Haoming, 十七 Shiqi, 徐子未 Xu Ziwei, 张思源 Zhang Siyuan, 连淮伟 Lian Huaiwei

Favorite performance: 燕尾蝶 Wings of Love This performance was everything I could ever dream of. 徐子未 won the world over instantly. He has the voice of an angel. Love the song, love the concept, love everything about it.

Iconic moments: 罗一舟 Luo Yizhou and 余景天 Tony Yu Jingtians’s friendly rivalry, 徐子未 Xu Ziwei’s back-to-back victories, Yuta’s adorable accent, 王南钧 Wang Nanjun would not shut up about 竹 Bamboo, touch 梁森 Liang Sen’s head for good luck, 刘隽 Liu Jun dances like he’s possessed (in a good way), that 雨爱 Rainie Love stage was a trainwreck tbh.

Verdict: Despite the scandals and lack of a finale, it was worth the watch for me. I feel so fond thinking of this season. Truthfully, season three has surpassed season two for me.

>> 创造101 Produce 101/创造营 Chuang (Tencent)

I read somewhere that Tencent officially licensed the Produce 101 name from Mnet, making this franchise more “official.” For season two, they ended up changing the name to 创造营 Produce Camp. The Chinese name remained the same for seasons three and four, but the in English they started promoting the show under the name Chuang. I think they wanted to beat iQiyi in the contest to see who can have the most titles for the same show.

创造101 Produce 101 China

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, no VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs) Watch on YouTube (no English subs, episode 7 here, episode 10 here) Watch via Produce 101 China Subs (English fansubs)

Why you should watch it: This is the only season I’ve seen twice, so that says something I guess! This season holds a special place in my heart as my first survival show, so I rewatched it earlier this year with some friends who hadn’t seen it previously. One thing that stood out to me about this season was that it felt like there were several dark horses who started to shine closer to the middle/end of the show. I liked this because it’s boring when the debut lineup is completely predictable! And if you’re not already a 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi fan, you will leave as a 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi fan, guaranteed.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: Not gonna lie, I was not a huge fan of this mentor team. I am fine with these people individually, but together it was not an ideal combo in my opinion. They collectively made some very odd decisions that I strongly disagree with. After my rewatch, I’m just kinda done with 黄子韬 Huang Zitao. I also realized there were a lot more instances of...rough singing than I remembered, so be warned.

My picks: 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi, Yamy, 刘人语 Liu Renyu, 许靖韵 Angela Xu Jingyun, 吴映香 Lucia Wu Yingxiang, 李紫婷 Mimi Li Ziting

Favorite performance: 别人家的小孩 Other People’s Kids This is one of the most iconic performances (and one of my favorites) ever from all of these shows! It’s so unique and really has everything you could want. It was truly a perfect collab performance.

Iconic moments: When they had to tap 杨超越 Yang Chaoyue so she wouldn’t miss the beat, 王一博 Wang Yibo’s blue hair was gorgeous, Triple A group reunion, Look What You Made Me Do with creepy marionettes was perfect, when 陈嘉桦 Ella went barefoot on stage, 黄子韬 Huang Zitao literally screamed at them all, I’ll never forget the iconic 乐华 Yuehua performance.

Verdict: Even the second time, this was a season filled with surprises. It’s not perfect, but I think it will manage to charm you anyway. There are some real hidden gems here.

创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs)

Why you should watch it: This was the first ever male season I watched, and I remember being apprehensive. I ended up having a lot of fun! This season really tugged at my heartstrings with the touching friendships between the boys and the intense 导师推荐生 mentor recommendees segments. I felt like I went through the wringer with them as they were forced to repack all their belongings, endure the brutal F班 demotions, hike across the beach, and more. There were countless hilarious moments too. If I were to rewatch, it would be for 周震南 Zhou Zhennan AKA 南南 Nannan. He just dominates the stage (despite his short stature)!

Why you shouldn’t watch it: I’ll admit, this season probably has the greatest number of contestants that annoy me. Sometimes it’s for no good reason...I just look at them and go ugh. The first round especially has some pretty painful singing, so be warned of that as well. Also, my rewatch made me realize I remembered very few performances from this season, which probably isn’t a good sign. Also, a lot of the performances were very short, sub-three minutes, which personally bothers me.

My picks: 周震南 Zhou Zhennan, 高嘉朗 Gao Jialang, 姚琛 Yao Chen, 陆思恒 Lu Siheng, 李鑫一 Li Xinyi, 贺俊雄 He Junxiong

Favorite performance: 开门见山 Kaimenjianshan I’ll admit that this performance was not as good as I remembered it being (probably because now I’ve heard the original by A-Mei many times), but I picked it anyway to acknowledge the amazing 高嘉朗 Gao Jialang.

Iconic moments: 张颜齐 Zhang Yanqi giving away jars of 老干妈 Lao Gan Ma, we never saw 王晨艺 Wang Chenyi again, 姚琛来了~ (Yao Chen is coming), when 周震南 Zhou Zhennan had his hoodie on but his ears were sticking out omg, try saying 李昀锐 Li Yunrui's name ten times fast, they had 30+ year old men here, this was the OG 乘风破浪 chengfengpolang.

Verdict: Among so many seasons, I don’t think this season stands out that much, but I still remember it fondly. If you want a good laugh and some fun, check it out.

创造营2020 Chuang 2020

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (English subs, missing episode 3) Watch on YouTube (English subs, missing episode 3) Watch on Viki (English subs, no Viki Pass needed)

Why you should watch it: They went all out on the sets, the location, the accommodations, everything. The performance setup was that the seats were in the middle and various stages were located around the perimeter. The seats would rotate to face the stages!! Some of the stages were stunning. I also want to mention that there were some great vocalists this season and I feel like they got to shine, which always makes me happy. The best round by far was the second round (专业方向). We got some beautiful vocal performances and intense dance performances.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: This season felt messy to me. I think they tried to mix things up, but not everything landed. The beautiful sets almost got distracting…they were more interesting than some of the performances. Several very talented and promising contestants never even made it past the first round. And since the final group only had seven people, the finale was just a frustrating experience. I never want to hear that 小摩托 xiao motuo song or 夏天的风 Summer Wind again. I don’t feel this season lived up to 创造101 Produce 101 China (unless you wanted MORE comments about weight/thinness).

My picks: 王柯 Wang Ke, 华承妍 Hua Chengyan, 刘些宁 Liu Xiening, 苏芮琪 Su Ruiqi, 朱主爱, Joyce Zhu Zhu’ai, 王一桥 Wang Yiqiao

Favorite performance: Manta There were a lot of performances I liked, but I really struggled to pick a favorite. I ultimately went with this because it’s one of the most memorable dance performances I’ve seen on these shows.

Iconic moments: That thin waist contest was simply the worst, they were in a literal castle, we all went crazy for the band and 王柯 Wang Ke, 朱主爱 Joyce Zhu Zhu’ai won the collab stage, wtf stop filming 姜贞羽 Jiang Zhenyu, I want to ride that cute train up the mountain, 毛不易 Mao Buyi did not want to talk, pretend that 吴亦凡 Wu Yifan wasn’t there.

Verdict: This season was competing against 青春有你2 Youth with You 2, and I chose to prioritize 青春有你2 Youth with You 2. I would make the same choice now. If you decide to watch, just be warned it may be a frustrating experience.

创造营2021 Chuang 2021

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed)

Why you should watch it: I wasn’t sure I was going to watch this season because of its international theme. Having foreigners is nothing new, but such a large number was certainly going to alter the show’s dynamic. Well, I watched it anyway. Overall, I’m glad I did. There were some talented and lovable contestants that made this season all worth it. The mentor squad (mostly 宁静 Ning Jing, 邓超 Deng Chao, and 周深 Zhou Shen) were so entertaining. Lastly, compared to the 2019 season, there were more popular vocalists this season, which I 100% support. I’ll be honest, I didn’t remember a lot of the performances from this season, but I ended up pleasantly surprised by how many great ones there were!

Why you shouldn’t watch it: It felt like there was so much focus on Nine and Patrick, Santa and Riki, the Intersection boys, and eventually Lelush as well. The other foreign contestants honestly had very little impact. This didn’t ruin the show or anything, but sometimes I got a little sick of the Santa and Mika show, you know? Also, none of my favorites made it into the winning group unfortunately. While I acknowledge the talent of the winning members, for whatever reason I wasn’t really that invested in most of them.

My picks: 俞更寅 Yu Gengying, 井胧 Jing Long, 林墨 Lin Mo, 奥斯卡 Oscar, 张星特 Zhang Xingte

Favorite performance: Lover Boy 88 This performance was simply infectious! I even made my friends watch to it. 林墨 Lin Mo is so charming. And 张腾 Zhang Teng and 张星特 Zhang Xingte’s vocals were perfect. Just wish it had been longer!

Iconic moments: Mika and 曾涵江 Zeng Hanjiang = my last two brain cells trying to communicate, I still can’t believe Lelush went viral worldwide, 刘宇 Liu Yu broke the Produce curse, Nine and Patrick only learned Chinese for how long???, Caelan kinda does look like Leonardo DiCaprio, Oscar AKA 熊熊 Xiongxiong, the 网红 wanghong group was so talented actually.

Verdict: I think this season got more international attention than 青春有你3 Youth with You 3, and while I prefer 青春有你3 Youth with You 3, this season is worth a watch for its uniqueness and improvements over the previous year.

>> 以团之名 All For One/少年之名 We Are Young (Youku)

I watched both seasons of Youku’s shorter-lived franchise in 2022 only after (and only because) I had finished the other two franchises. I think Youku had a smaller budget and thus tried to stand out by shaking up the traditional survival show formula. I think they made some poor choices and some good choices. I don’t know the story behind the name change between seasons, but the seasons are so different from each other that it makes sense.

以团之名 All For One

Watch on Youku (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs)

Why you should watch it: I’m going to say a lot of negative stuff below, but I wanted to add at least a few positive words. During the finale, the remaining contestants sang S.H.E’s 你曾是少年 Wings Of My Words, and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so emotional over a performance ever. 任家萱 Selina was a delight throughout. I also really grew to appreciate 奶茶 Naicha and what a great and thoughtful leader he was.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: As I mentioned, this show had some unique features that made it stand out. The contestants formed ten groups of eight, and the composition of the groups remained unchanged throughout. Entire groups got eliminated together. This created a dynamic where some really talented contestants went home too soon due to their group. It also meant that some groups were popular really just due to having one popular member. In the end, one group won...but I guess they realized this was a bad idea, so they formed a second winning group of the most popular contestants from the non-winning groups. I didn’t like this format and felt is really negatively impacted my viewing. Personally, seeing new team lineups form is one of my favorite parts of survival shows. And because the leaders were constant, they had there was too much focus on them. Also, the mentors were so harsh all the time. Maybe it was deserved, but it really bummed me out to watch them constantly talk about how disappointed they were.

My picks: 奶茶 Naicha, 田书臣 Tian Shuchen, 龙泓昊 Long Honghao, 赖煜哲 AJ Lai Yuzhe, 热亚提 Reyati, 赵品霖 Zhao Pinlin

Favorite performance: 饕餮 Taotie This was not one of the performances that stood out in my memory, but it stood out to me when I did my rewatch. I feel like they really nailed every element, and I don’t think the other teams could have pulled off this song.

Iconic moments: 何展成 Jonathan Ha gave up on speaking Chinese and 袁娅维 Tia Ray had to translate for him, the 王霏霏 Wang Feifei and 孟佳 Meng Jia reunion, 龙泓昊 Long Honghao’s beautiful dance to a Shawn Mendes song, I’m not sure why 奶茶 Naicha chose milk tea as stage name, AJ vs. the hidden snacks, they made 周艺轩 Zhou Yixuan perform a UNIQ song.

Verdict: Maybe you can skip this one. I definitely didn’t devote my full attention while I was watching it. And it felt like the show and the mentors were being mean to the boys all the time.

少年之名 We Are Young

Watch on Youku (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs) Watch via We Are Young Subs (English fansubs)

Why you should watch it: They improved on basically all the issues I had with the first season, and I was pleasantly surprised. Also, this is basically a 青春有你1 Youth with You 1 mini reunion with a few 偶像练习生 Idol Producer alums plus some future 青春有你3 You with You 3 contestants. It was so wonderful to see how the contestants I already knew had grown, and I loved seeing them get new opportunities to shine. There was surprisingly a lot of good raps/rappers on this show! Also, there were some truly incredible performances this season that aren’t like anything I’ve seen on other idol survival shows. And I enjoyed almost every performance—there were only a few that I disliked or thought were, um, not good. The mentors did not always agree...but I don’t care!

Why you shouldn’t watch it: Because they have to be different, when doing the initial evaluations, only about 50 contestants advanced to the next round. This was nice because it meant fewer names/faces, but wow, it felt so mean. Sometimes I wished they had stuck to a more traditional format. Besides that, I don’t have much else negative to say!

My picks: 郭震 Guo Zhen, 寇聪 Kuo Cong, 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan, 左林杰 Zuo Linjie, 李希侃 Li Xikan, 崔少鹏 Cui Shaopeng, 杨超文 Yang Chaowen

Favorite performance: Don’t Start Now I don’t think I’ve ever seen this exact concept on one of these shows before. This performance was instantly a standout for me, especially because it had some of my favorite contestants!

Iconic moments: They literally had a corgi, 林 (Lin) MUA, everyone shipping 薛恩 Xue En and 程潇 Cheng Xiao, 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan in a CROP TOP, 胡彦斌 Hu Yanbin told 寇聪 Kou Cong to wear less to show off his body what, 崔少鹏 Cui Shaopeng’s entrance through the pink smoke, 左林杰 Zuo Linjie really bungee jumped with his eyes closed, how 郭震 Guo Zhen, 左叶 Zuo Ye, and 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan were in the same group four times without anyone noticing.

Verdict: This season ended up being better than it had any right to be! I think it’s worth checking out, especially if you are missing the boys from the 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You series.

>> Conclusion

If you actually read this entire post, I’m thoroughly impressed. If you, like me, have spent way too much time watching these shows, feel free to send me a message because I need someone to commiserate with.

I honestly have this weird feeling that a chapter of my life is over. I have so many treasured memories from watching these shows—moments of laughter, tears, shock, pride, and more. They’ve provided a way to ground my language studies and engage with Chinese pop culture. They made me feel less alone during earlier COVID times.

Well, I’m off to find something to fill the survival show-size hole in my heart...maybe I’ll just rewatch 偶像练习生 Idol Producer.

190 notes · View notes

comebackseasonisamess · 5 years

Text

Gramarie Fluffy Headcanons

Requested by @akaimps

A/N. Oh my God, I'm so sorry this took me so much time. Between school being hectic and having no idea what to write period, this really should have come out sooner...

So, I’m not quite sure what ot5 gramarie includes… So I’m assuming that Zhou Rui is the other member you were talking about!

Also, this isn't edited, but will be within a week's time.

Genre: fluff

Zhu Xingjie

“...” Xingjie sighs deeply, arms folded on his chest.

“Squish, squish, squish,” you murmur continuously, like some sort of mantra. You sit in his lap, facing him as he reclines back on the black couch.

His eyes close and he exhales through his nose, frustrated. “Can you… By any chance… Stop squishing my cheeks?” he manages to warble through his compressed cheeks.

“No.” You continue squishing his cheeks, molding them forward and backwards and in circles. “You’re so squishy…” You’re practically cooing now.

“...” Xingjie sets his mouth in a straight line. “You’re lucky I love you, you know?”

“I know,” you respond before squishing his cheeks some more.

“You know I yelled at Justin and Zhenghao when they pinched my cheeks, right?”

“Yup. But you won’t yell at me, because you love me.” You pause from your squishing and smile down at him.

His hands go up to yours and gently keep them away from his cheeks. “Don’t you know it.”

“So soft…” You mumble as you reach for his cheeks.

Zhou Yanchen

A silky whisper fills the air of the practice room. Yanchen twists his body in front of the mirrors of the dance practice room.

Your eyes are drawn to the slender curve of his torso, the tilt to his head as he loses himself to the music. You sat in the corner of the room, your head resting on your knees which are pulled up to your chest.

He arches deeply, then cuts tightly through the air before breaking himself down. His crumpled up form lays on the ground, but he still dances along to the music.

You are entrapped in his performance. The choreography he came up with is easily the most breathtaking one yet.

The final strains of the music ring out and Yanchen holds his final pose for one, two, twenty seconds before ambling towards you. He collapses in your arms, placing his sweaty head against your chest, forcing you to rearrange your seating position.

“Ew, gross…” you say at his sweaty figure.

He rubs his hair into your face, and you squirm back, giggling, before reverting to silence.

Soon, you both fall asleep.

Wang Linkai

(the gif has nothing to do with the drabble but you make do with what you find I guess)

You knocked on the door of the bathroom. The shower had been running for the past hour or so, and you were starting to get worried about Xiao Gui, who was taking a shower. There was no answer.

“Linkai? Babe? You didn’t die, right?” You called out as you rapped your knuckles against the door.

Suddenly, the shower is shut off. You heard the sound of the curtain being pulled back, and the pitter-patter of feet. The door cracked open and Linkai poked his head out.

“Ten more minutes. Just ten more.” He then closed the door and waddled around inside.

Ten minutes later (no noise coming from the shower during this time period), the door to the bathroom opened and closed, and Linkai came out to join you.

You got up from your armchair. “Finally,” you said.

When you opened the bathroom door, you are not looking down, and are greeted by a surprise.

“Linkai!!” you yelled as your socks slowly absorb the water on the tiled floor left behind by his shower.

A giggle is heard from the other room. He knew that his habit of not wiping himself off or wiping down the floor annoyed you.

Zhang Yankai

A/N. I know absolutely nothing about him, ghghgh…

Anyways, when trying to search up things for him there was his audition where he spoke about his mother essentially ‘nagging’ him about his height and I thought that was pretty cute sooooo…

“Yes mom. Yes, I’ve been staying away from foods that make me grow taller… Yes, I’ve stopped drinking as much milk...No, I haven’t even touched chicken…” Yankai was on the phone with his mom. She had been worried that if he grew taller he would have less job opportunities because he would come off as intimidating.

She wanted him to stick to a strict diet that would cut out as many of those harmful foods that encouraged growth. However, Yankai wasn’t sticking to the diet.

Yankai lifted the glass up to his lips. “Yes, I haven’t grown in the past week. I checked yesterday.” He swallowed the milk that he had in his cup.

In fact, he hadn’t stuck to any of the diet. Not that he was going to tell him mom that.

“Ok, love you too, I’ll call you soon.” He hanged up the phone, wiping away fake droplets of sweat from his forehead.

“It’s hilarious how you manage to lie to your mom so effortlessly,” you said when he hangs up.

“Only about the unimportant things,” he replied before throwing you a huge smile. “C’mon, let’s go to that new chicken place, I hear it’s delicious.”

“My little rebel.” You pat his head affectionately, before grabbing your keys and dragging him through the front door.

Zhou Rui

Song Fic: “Falling Slowly” from Once

Zhou Rui hummed to himself. He was looking forward to his performance. He was planning on playing the guitar and singing at a small cafe tonight, similar to something out of One Tree Hill.

He paused to look in the mirror, trying to decide what he would wear that evening. He put on a flowy white shirt and black leather pants. He took a stip of his hair and braided it.

The day slowly faded into night, and Zhou Rui is getting ready to go. He spritzed on a dash of cologne, and picked up his guitar. During the car ride to the café, he warmed up his vocal chords while keeping both hands on the wheel.

He set up his affairs at the cafe, and smiles at you from where you stand behind the counter wiping dry a cup.

Sitting in the chair in front of the mic, he strummed out the first chords of his song.

“I don’t know you, but I want you all the more for that.”

He sang looking straight at you.

“Words fall through me, and always fool me, and I can’t react.”

His gaze was soft, softer than a kitten’s fur, and you are filled with a blooming, warm feeling.

“Falling slowly, sing your melody, I’ll sing along.”

He finished the song, and took his gaze from your eyes to the crowd before him.

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scriptura-adrepticius · 5 years

Text

Kalon - Zhu Xingjie

I’m... kinda back? I hope you enjoy this (and I hope people read it, though tbh I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t).

Sorry for being gone so long. Can’t guarantee my postings will be consistent mainly because of school, but I think I’ve found some inspo again and I really hope it stays :) Love you all! Thanks for staying with this blog!

Pairing: Zhu Xingjie x OC/reader

Series: Types of People

six-string boy and fawn girl

credits to @trans-bean-but-spooky and @la-petitefille

Genre: fluff, domestic!au

Word Count: 2.6k

Kalon: a beauty that is more than skin deep

Sometimes Xingjie wonders about you and you wonder about him. It usually leads to you or him falling deeper in love with the other.

Masterlist | Types of People

imagine you were yanchen actually don’t, i think your heart will combust

Some days you look at Xingjie and wonder how a man with such goodness and innate beauty can exist.

It started in college when you first met him. You were tutoring Linkai in math, and one day Xingjie came to drop him off at the library. One look at him and you were blushing.

You were never particularly adept around the opposite sex.

Many people say it’s the eyes that drew them in, that made them start, that made them fall in love. But with Xingjie… it wasn’t his eyes. It was the way he spoke.

His beautiful voice, sweet and rich, drew you in like a fish to a hook but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You’d been taught not to make judgements immediately, but with Xingjie, you couldn’t help it. A man with such a sweet voice had to be just as sweet a person.

Thankfully, you were right. Xingjie proved your judgements correct and more, and when you finally plucked up the courage to ask him out and he accepted, you were more than overjoyed. It was the first time you’d done something so forward, and you were amazed that it’d turned out so well.

Maybe that’s the thing about Xingjie, you wonder. He always manages to bring out the best in you, the parts of you that are hidden to the world, to yourself. He always seems to know you better than you do yourself, and though that should freak you out, it really doesn’t.

How can such a man exist? you wonder. Handsome, talented, sweet, kind… the list goes on and on. Every day you see him, you feel like you discover something new about him, something that only enhances the soft aura he seems to emanate wherever he goes. You bring this up to him one day and he simply laughs.

“It’s because you bring out the best in me,” he says, lacing his hand with yours.

“And you, me,” you reply, squeezing his hand slightly.

Xingjie’s smile isn’t blindingly bright. It’s soft, full of joy, but calm like the moon. He shows that smile now and you relish in its soft glow. “Isn’t that what a significant other is for?”

It’s impossible for you not to smile in response. “Of course.”

. . . . .

Some days Xingjie looks at you and wonders if you realize your own beauty.

It’s small things that make him wonder. The way your eyes brighten at the sight of something beautiful. The way you drift around the apartment, moving like a wisp of the wind. The way your cheeks redden when he places a soft kiss to your nose.

Sometimes you’re huddled in a corner of the couch, a blanket over your legs, reading a book as he works on some music. Sometimes you’re sitting next to him on the grass, back against a tree, watching a butterfly flit amongst the bushes as he writes lyrics. Sometimes you’re sleeping at the table, a cold plate of food by your side, having tried to stay up until he got home.

Quiet beauty, quiet grace. You’re like a fawn - quiet, sweet, innocent.

More often than not, you catch him staring and you send him a questioning look, silently asking why. At restaurants you brush the corner of your lips, wondering if food is on your face. At home, you pat your cheek, wondering if marks are imprinted there after falling asleep on a book. At his studio, you rub your face, wondering if there’s a pen mark there.

And more often than not, Xingjie smiles and shakes his head, taking your hand in his. And more often than not, he whispers, “Do you know how beautiful you are?”

And more often than not, you smile shyly and blush.

And more often than not, Xingjie presses a kiss to your lips.

. . . . .

Some days you look at Xingjie and wonder how a man so perfect would ever choose you.

There was a time when you thought no one would ever love you. Your father died when you were young, and he understood you better than your extroverted mother ever would. She could never comprehend why it was so hard for you to approach strangers, to get up in front of crowds, to speak louder than your usual whisper. Your stepfather was much the same - though perhaps they both loved you, they never understood you.

It took a long time for you to come out of your shell. It took a long time for you to let people in. You had few friends, but your friendships lasted a long time, and your current friends swear that the long process of breaking through your walls was worth it. Every time they say that, your heart flutters a little and you smile.

But it was a long time before you had such friends, and as you grew older, you wondered if you would ever find a perfect love, like the kind you read about in books. Bliss. Unconditional acceptance. Sweet smile and soft kisses. Unrealistic love.

You’ve never been particularly outspoken. You’ve never been particularly attractive. So why would Xingjie ever choose little old you?

He’s sitting nearby, scribbling something on a piece of paper as you make a pot of tea. You sit in front of him, idly watching him write in silence, resting your cheek on your hand as you wait for the tea to boil. When it’s done, you stand up quietly and pour it into two mugs, taking one for yourself and setting the other in front of him.

Xingjie looks up, startled, and smiles. “Thanks, Jingyi,” he says, and even though you’ve dated him for more than two years, his voice still never fails to make your heart warm.

“You’re welcome,” you reply sweetly, leaning over slightly. “What’s that you’re writing?”

“Lyrics,” he says shortly, hiding the words from your sight. You make a face, sipping from your mug, and it makes him laugh. “You’ll get to listen to the song first,” he promises.

“I’ll hold you to that,” you reply, reaching over to take his hand in yours.

And he keeps his promise. He calls you one day at three in the morning, nearly falling asleep over the phone, and asks you to come to the studio. It’s a ten minute walk in the bitter morning cold, but you persist.

After all, it’s for him.

He greets you sleepily, dark eyes dull with exhaustion, but he eagerly leads you to the computer and forces you to sit on his lap. Just before you put the headphones over your ears, though, he stops you.

“Remember when you asked me why I chose you?” he whispers. “A few weeks ago?”

You nod.

“Well, here are the reasons why.” He tugs the headphones down for you, hits a button, and then music begins to fill your ears.

It’s your smile

It’s your laugh

It’s the way your eyes shine

It’s your sweetness

It’s your joy

It’s the way you look at me, baby

I live to make you happy, to see the smile on your face

Because that smile, that laugh, that sweetness in your voice

It’s beautiful

And if I had to choose again, I’d choose you, my girl…

Maybe your eyes are tearing up at the end of the song. Maybe you’re smiling so widely that your face is beginning to hurt. Maybe you’re about to start full-on sobbing into Xingjie’s shoulder.

But it’s okay.

Later that morning, he makes you swear that you won’t doubt your own worth anymore. You swear that you won’t, and then you begin bawling into his shoulder again.

Fuck, you’re a mess.

But as long as Xingjie’s there to smile at you, kiss you, and whisper “I love you” in your ear, then you think you’ll be fine.

. . . . .

Some days Xingjie looks at you and wonders why you chose him.

Most of the time it’s you who’s insecure about dating him and he feels stupid when it’s him. He’s always the one to comfort you, and it’s strange to have it be the opposite.

But obviously there are blue days, there are gray days, when Xingjie is uninspired and sad and grumpy and everyone tiptoes around him, trying to leave him alone. Except you.

“Go away,” Xingjie snaps when he hears the knock on his door. He’s got headphones on but nothing’s playing, and though his computer is open and displaying all the music software he’s got, he’s not using it. Just staring at it.

“Hell no,” he hears you say, and then the door is pushed open and you stand in the doorway, arching an eyebrow.

Xingjie blushes out of embarrassment. “Fuck, sorry, Jingyi.” He tries for a smile. “I thought you were Linkai.”

“Linkai?” You wrinkle your brow, settling onto Xingjie’s bed. “He isn’t even here.”

“He’s been spamming me with texts and I figured he was going to come here and bother me some more,” Xingjie groans, finally taking the headphones off. “It was a mistake to give him that key.”

You shrug. “Maybe. But anyway, what’s got you so grumpy now?”

Immediately the black mood settles over him again. His eyebrows furrow, his eyes darken, his mouth thins into a line. “Deadline,” he mumbles.

“When?”

“Sunday.”

“Three days, then,” you hum, looking thoughtful. “You can spare one.”

“What?” Xingjie sputters. “No, I can’t!”

“Yeah, you can,” you retort, an uncharacteristic twinkle in your eye. “Change your clothes. Those look like they haven’t been washed for days. We’re going out.”

Despite his protests, you somehow force him out the door. He knows you have no plan which would on a normal day be strange since you’re always so organized. But he doesn’t mind.

As you drag him around the city, making his feet ache and his throat turn dry from too much laughter, as you hold his hand tight and look at him with such love and care in your eyes, Xingjie wonders just what he did in his past life to deserve you.

“Had a better day?” you ask finally as you slip your shoes off in the doorway, looking up at him with your sparkling eyes.

“I did,” Xingjie laughs, cupping your cheek in his hand. He presses a kiss to your lips. “Thank you.”

You give him a peck on his nose, stretching up on your toes, and smile. “You’re welcome.”

. . . . .

Some days you look at Xingjie and you fall in love with him all over again.

Autumn is your favorite season. The leaves turn orange, the wind turns crisp, and all around you is the excitement of the upcoming holidays, of times to spend with family and friends. The smells of warm coffee and hot chocolate pervade the air, bringing a smile to your lips.

You only mention your love for piano in passing, mostly because it’s just… too intimate an activity to call just a hobby. Piano used to be your life before you discovered science, and it was always an escape for you when the world became too much.

For the first few weeks you and Xingjie dated, he never knew you played any instruments. Whenever he invited you to his studio, it was always him who played, never you. Somewhere along the way you let it slip that you could play and since then, never has a trip to his studio gone by where he doesn’t request for you to play something on the old grand piano in the studio down the hall.

The keys, yellowed with age, are always smooth to the touch with just enough grip that you don’t have to worry much about your fingers slipping. You love that grand piano almost more than the one at home, and it’s only second because of the memories associated with your old upright.

It’s your birthday, and Xingjie, as always, has taken into consideration your unease with large crowds in planning a small party. The celebration is still rowdy, however, mostly because Linkai and Justin are both there to liven things up. You laugh, though - their antics don’t bother you anymore.

It isn’t until later that night when everyone’s left that Xingjie’s able to drag you away to the studio. Your curiosity is piqued - he’s already given you a gift, the treble clef pendant you now wear around your neck. You wonder silently what this is about.

Once inside the building, he turns away from his own studio in favor of the one with the piano. Your eyebrows furrow but you don’t question him, not even when he sits down at the bench, motioning for you to sit beside him.

“What’s this about?” you finally ask, sitting down. You lean your head on his shoulder, relishing in the warmth and stability that he seems to emanate.

“Your second birthday present. Just listen,” he whispers, then sets his hands on the keys and begins to play.

It’s a medley. Eight of your favorite pieces connected into a seamless ten-minute performance, culminating with your song. The song that you two danced to on the night of your first kiss. The song that you’ve jokingly deemed your theme song.

As he plays, your heart swells, and you think you’ve fallen in love with him again. Tears in your eyes, you tell him as much when he finishes.

“What made you fall out of love with me?” he teases gently, brushing a strand of hair away from your cheek. His touch makes you shiver.

“Absolutely nothing,” you reply, eyes shining. “I just fell a little deeper.”

. . . . .

Some days Xingjie looks at you and wonders if you’re real.

Xingjie can never find the words to describe you. Your peace. Your tranquility. The way you get startled easily, the way your eyes widen when you do. How you hum softly to the melodies he’s working on.

He wonders if that’s because you’re not from this planet. For the only word that even hints at what you are is perhaps otherworldly, and even that only touches upon the slightest essence of your being.

Until one day, when he finds the perfect word as he absentmindedly browses the internet.

The moon is bright, shining through the small window, illuminating your face with ghostly light. Your eyes are closed, your breath fanning his face as you slowly drift into the arms of sleep. Xingjie watches you doze off, his own eyes becoming heavy as well.

Linkai deems this kind of interaction awkward, but Xingjie thinks it’s just right. He cherishes these quiet moments, where he can enjoy your beauty in peace.

“You know,” he whispers sleepily, pulling you a little closer beneath the blankets, “I found the perfect word to describe you today.”

You open your eyes slowly. “What is it?” you ask, curiosity piqued. Xingjie’s heart leaps a little, hearing your tired, sweet voice.

“Kalon,” Xingjie enunciates, his tongue tripping slightly over the unfamiliar word. “A beauty that is more than skin deep.”

Even in the dark, your blush is unmistakable. Xingjie relishes in your surprise, in the way your eyes widen the tiniest bit, the way your cheeks pink slightly, the way you gaze at him with so much love in your eyes.

“Then, Xingjie,” you whisper, “I think it’s the perfect word to describe you too.”

Neither of you need the faint moonlight to know that the other is smiling.

Nor do you need the faint moonlight to press a kiss to the other’s lips either.

#idolproducernet #idol producer #idol producer zhu xingjie #zhu xingjie #idol producer scenarios #fluff #domestic!au #zhu xingjie scenarios #gramarie entertainment #types of people #kalon #scriptura-adrepticius

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jiu-jiemei · 6 years

Conversation

Zhou Yanchen: What if I poured coffee into my cereal instead of milk?

Zhu Xingjie, grabbing the coffee pot: What if you didn't

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qevnwqqq · 6 years

Photo

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youchengcheng · 6 years

Photo

I just busted a nut woops

#*#Zhu xingjie #idol producer #idol producer zhu xingjie #idolproducernet #im out

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issyaboiz · 6 years

Video

He’s trying to murder me.

#zhou xingjie #idol producer zhu xingjie #instagram #step on me #pls

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sereiaxz · 3 years

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Wanted to share this gif I found bc its a wholesome meme

Hearts everywhere

#idol producer #nine percent #nex7 #yuehua nex7 #cai xukun #bu fan #bi wenjun #zhu xingjie #wang ziyi #fan chengcheng #huang justin #justin huang #chen linong #if im right the other two are shengen and haohao?#this was for zhengting birthday I THINK #j.zen

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idolproducerincorrect · 3 years

Conversation

Xingjie: No, no, that’s a bad idea.

Xiao Gui: There are no bad ideas, only great ideas that go horribly wrong.

#Zhu xingjie #xiao gui #wang linkai #huba #incorrect quotes #idol producer #cpop #incorrect cpop #incorrect cpop quotes

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zhenning · 4 years

Photo

果然天空 Weibo Update [200816]

#zhu xingjie #j.zen #idol producer #weibo #o:zxj

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choicearmystay · 4 years

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Jeffrey: 😀

Xingjie: 😀

Wenjun: 😀

Justin: 😐

-----

Yanjun: 😱

Dinghao: 😱

Chaoze: 😱

Zhengting: 😱

Ziyi: 😐

#idol producer #Ep 11 #Jeffrey #zhu xingjie #Bi Wenjun #Justin #Huang Minghao #lin yanjun #Lin Chaoze #zhu zhengting #Wang Ziyi #Lu Dinghao

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softbabyeveryday · 3 years

Text

I’m out here going down the road that is idol producer that happened in like 2018. And I just know imma get attached to boys who don’t make it into the final line up as I’m like 5 episodes in and jvkfndofbdk. I haven’t looked up anything bc I don’t wanna spoil it for me.

#idol producer #i get attached too easily #nine percent #li quanzhe #the lil hamster boy has my whole heart rn #zhu xingjie #in love with zhu xingjie as well #cai xukun #a baby #lin yanjun #fan chengcheng #like ughhh there’s too many talented boys #also jackson and lay are super cute here lol

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yanjuniverse · 4 years

Text

How Should It Be - Xiao Gui/Wang Linkai One Shot

[a/n: ah yes back at it again with another cringey one shot. i meant to post this on 5/20 but i couldn’t get my brain juices to work and finish it until tonight. i hope you guys like it. big reminder that i love wang linkai ❤️. sorry if the fic is a mess btw lol.] / master list

He sags down in his seat, visibly defeated by whatever was on his mind. A pout is prominent on his lips as his best friend cracks a smile, clapping him on the back before wrapping his arm around him, their bodies crashing together.

“Why the long face, Gui? Don’t you know that frowning gives you wrinkles?” he asks. If Linkai wasn’t so down in the dumps, he would’ve smacked the exaggerated frown right off of Chengcheng’s face right then.

Fan Chengcheng has never been the kind to just let Linkai live in his misery. Oh, no. Fan Chengcheng has to twist the knife after he stabs you. Sure, the guy’s quiet when you first meet him. But once you get to know him the way Linkai knows him, it’s a done deal. Your soul is his and there’s no getting rid of him.

“You saw my butthole once, Kai. We’re practically blood brothers now.”

Don’t ask. Linkai is begging.

“Nothing,” he shifts back into the ratty couch. He thinks for a second about how Xingjie is always babbling on and on about how he should replace it (as if Linkai has the money to replace this old hand-me-down couch. He’s a soundcloud rapper. How much does Xingjie even thinks he makes off of his beats?). Something about how just because it’s old, doesn’t mean it’s vintage. Linkai thinks that maybe the spring that pops out of the second cushion of the faded blue sofa may have caught Xingjie by surprise one too many times. That’s why Linkai always sits on the arm rest or lays like a starfish on the floor during movie nights. You’ll never catch him squished in the middle of Yanchen and Xingjie on their Thursday night Grey’s Anatomy marathons (per Yanchen’s request because how could one look at the actual sun and say no?).

He’s picking at the frayed edge of the sofa when Chengcheng says, “It doesn’t look like nothing.” He suddenly snaps, reaching into his pocket before pulling out a pair of his (nonprescription) glasses. He pushes them up on his nose then opens his phone to his notes. Linkai sees him type “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH GUI TODAY” and watches him not only put it in bold print but italics as well. “I think we should start a diary of some sort. My sister has one of those and she says it’s all a part of a healthy life style. Wait, should we buy a Password Journal for you? Okay, wait Chengcheng. Too far off track. Let’s focus on the now.” He recomposes himself before saying, “First of all, do you know your rising sign? It could help explain a lot of things.”

Linkai thinks that there’s a reason for everything. He thinks that you never meet a person by mistake. But sometimes...he has to question his life mottos as Chengcheng waves his hand and tells him he’ll make his birth chart from scratch, all he needs is the time he was born (because Chengcheng’s already memorized that he was born on May 20, 1999 in the Fujian Province).

“Chengcheng, I promise on my mother that I won’t judge you. Just tell me if you were dropped on your head as a baby or not.“ He’s desperate at this point. There’s no way somebody just wakes up and makes the conscious decision to be Fan Chengcheng. Not any sane person, that is.

“Astrology is a very serious science, Gui and I will not stand for your bashing!” Chengcheng whines.

Likai gives him side eyes. “Didn’t you only get into astrology because Justin said you were a Gemini and he liked that?”

“No!” But the blush rising on his cheeks says otherwise. “Look. This isn’t about me! This is about you! What’s your deal?”

The older one shakes his head, throwing himself back against the couch and hoping that the weird stain to his left would manifest into a blackhole and swallow him hole. He crosses his arms and taps his shoe against the ground, eyes glued to the ceiling popcorn and wondering who the hell even thought that shit was cute. He starts to wonder how much he could pay Chengcheng to eat it when the doorbell rings.

“I’ll get it,” Chengcheng says. “I’m expecting a package!” As he gets up, he throws a cushion at his roommate before hopping away.

Linkai shuts his eyes, too exhausted to even fight back. Maybe it is his package. Maybe it’s Justin. Maybe they have another “date” in Chengcheng’s room (it’s not a real date if Justin doesn’t know it’s a date).

He’s about to drift to sleep when another cushion hits his chin, causing him to bite his tongue.

He’s on his feet and ready to throw hands when his eyes land on (a very pissed looking) you.

Honestly. He’s not surprised. You have this sour face all day and all night and it’s to the point where he’s starting to consider having Chengcheng put together your birth chart so that he can understand just that much more about you.

He crosses his arms. “And what is the problem today, princess?” he raises his eyebrows. He leans down, teasingly close, and wrinkles his nose. “I was just thinking about you.”

“Don’t look so stressed,” you scoff. He pokes your forehead, causing you to stumble back a couple of steps. “Hey!” you whine, rubbing the spot. He can just hear you screaming in your head about how he has dirty finger nails or how his hands are always so cold and boney. You huff. “You’re gonna give me a headache.”

“You give me a headache every time you walk into the room,” he shrugs, pulling back. He throws himself onto the couch again and hears the floor rattle beneath him. Another complaint that you’ll throw at him is how he and Chengcheng should just move out of this ratty old place. (“And go where exactly?” “I don’t know! Go live with Zhengting! I heard he needs a roommate!” “You want us to live with Zhu Zhengting? He’ll be on China’s Most Wanted after he kills me and Chengcheng.”) You roll your eyes instead. “But go on. What did your best friend Wang Linkai do to piss you off today?”

“We had a lunch date!” you stomp your foot.

“A lunch date?!” Chengcheng repeats as he exists the kitchen, choking on the piece of bread he had shoved into his mouth. “You two go on dates?!”

Linkai snorts. Ever since Chengcheng found out the story of how you and Linkai met, he’s been begging for you two to fall in love. (“You met in college when she dropped her books and you helped her pick them up? Fingers lingering, eyes glazing over. Love blooming like spring cherry blossom-“ “Chengcheng, shut the actual hell up. I only helped her out because I’m not an asshole.” “Not an asshole? Have you met you?”). Chengcheng says that he’s read a lot of fan fictions. He knows how this will turn out. Apparently, he’s taking bets alongside Chen Linong and Lin Yanjun as to when you two will finally get together. But jokes on them because you are denser than a book.

According to Chengcheng, it’s not your fault because apparently Linkai has terrible game. His idea of flirting with you is to flake on you half the time, watch you get riled up then pat your head and walk away after you get done ranting to him. Linkai doesn’t call that game. He calls that tolerance because some of this shit you put him through makes his head spin in circles. Plus, he’s got an image to uphold. Xiao Gui AKA.IMP cannot go around braiding flower crowns and singing to the birds like this is some kind of Disney film. He’s still trying to live down that time Xukun posted a picture of him coloring in a coloring book on his instagram story (Ziyi still sends him children’s coloring books every holiday since. Whether Linkai fills them out or not is his business and his business only).

He thinks today is going to be a bad day. He thinks it’ll be one of those days where the two of you will fight to no ends and there’s literally nothing he can do to make you feel better. He hates to admit it but he likes those kind of days because they always end with the two of you laying in his bed. Those are the nights he’ll hold you and wipes your tears, whispering a mantra of “Yes, I’m an idiot” and “I’m sorry, it’s my fault for not cherishing you.” He likes those nights because even though you get on his last nerves, he’ll be willing to admit defeat if that means he’ll get to wake up with you beside him.

“Honestly, Linkai. I don’t even know why I try with you sometimes,” you groan, setting down the bag of food in your hands onto the coffee table with one too many water stains. “Chengcheng, come join us for lunch.”

“Oh, I don’t wanna intrude on your date,” he says.

You smile at him. “It’s not an actual date.“

There’s a weird look on your face as you say that. It’s a look you get that Xiao Gui has never been able to read. Your smile is big but your eyes never seem to match. Your shoulders visibly sag and your movements slow for a second before you seem to realize what you’re doing and get back to being normal. “Come!”

“No,” Linkai plops down on the floor next to you. “He has a lab with Justin due at midnight tonight. He needs to leave.”

“Hm? You keep tabs on me?” Chengcheng has a shit eating grin on his face which quickly disappears as Linkai scoffs.

“No. You’re wearing cologne for once and don’t look oily. From just that, I know you’re going to meet Justin,” he says. “You usually smell like terrible B.O. and your hair looks dry. As for your project, you have it written on your calendar inside of a big red heart. I saw it when I went to steal the five bucks from your dresser earlier.” Chengcheng sputters, face red with embarrassment.

You swat Linkai’s shoulder. “Leave him alone,” you frown. “Don’t worry about him, Cheng. You always look and smell great to me!” you grin encouragingly before turning back to Linkai again to whisper yell. “He has a crush. Don’t tell me you’ve never gotten dressed up for somebody you liked.”

“Hey!” he says louder than you expected considering this was supposed to be a hushed conversation. “I’m wearing the jeans you said make my ass look fat,” he retorts. You simply roll your eyes before returning to Chengcheng. Once again, you’ve reminded not only Linkai but the world that you are denser than a book. He makes a face. “You expect me to read your mind and yet you never seem to be able to read mine,” he mutters under his breath, forcefully stabbing into his rice.

“What was that?” you turn back to him. He shakes his head, shoveling a load of food into his mouth to keep you from pressing. You thankfully don’t and once again, turn to Chengcheng. “I think you look amazing. Really. Go get him! He’ll be in your arms in no time!”

“Thanks, jiejie!” the dopey boy grins. “I’ll be on my way then. Be back tomorrow morning. Don’t have too much fun while I’m gone!” he winks. He’s out the door before Linkai can kill him (as if Linkai even had the energy to do so).

He’s too busy dissecting his meat to notice your cold stare. You have to clear your throat for him to look up and see your face. He groans, “What the hell did I do now?”

“You should be more supportive of Chengcheng.”

“More supportive? Any more supportive and I might as well just text Justin and say ‘Hey dinghead! Chengcheng is in love with you!’” he scoffs. “Honestly, it doesn’t get any more supportive than me.” He’s actually offended that you don’t think he’s all for Chengstin. Linkai is the vice president of the Chengstin fanclub, only coming second to You Zhangjing. “Who do you think always makes sure there’s ice cream in the fridge when Justin comes over? Who do you think hops off our shitty ass wifi when Justin comes to watches movies? Who the fuck ran across town just to fight with sneaker heads to get Justin the newest pair of shoes because Chengcheng was stuck in class? Have you ever had to fight a sneak head, YN? Have you?” His eyes are wild as if he’s seen some things he’d rather not talk about.

You sigh. “I just think you need to be nicer to him,” you shrug.

“Last week you told me not to let Chengcheng step all over me,” Linkai points his chopstick accusingly at you.

“Because you were deadass tired and up doing his laundry while he slept!” you exclaim.

Linkai snorts. You’re honestly a walking contradiction when it comes to him. “Just eat and be quiet. I’ve already got a headache. Don’t make my stomach upset too with all of your nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense, Linkai!”

“If it’s coming from you, it is.” He shuts his foam to-go plate and stands to his feet before you could give him another earful. “I’m gonna go get a drink. Want anything? Water? A soda? A shot of vodka?”

“Ten more minutes with you makes the last option sound more appeasing than it should,” you pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Nobody is forcing you to be here,” he reminds you, patting your head as he walks away. When he returns, he’s made two pretty drinks and winks at you. Bottoms up, his eyes say.

“Really? Drinking on a Tuesday?” you scoff.

“Whether it’s a Tuesday afternoon or a Saturday night, you will always find a reason to complain,” he replies. You roll your eyes, taking a sip and feeling the alcohol burn down your throat. You grimace before setting it back down on the table. “So what do you wanna do now, hm? Watch a movie? Make me watch you online shop?”

“Maybe I could put make up on you and do your hair,” you suggest.

It’s his turn to roll his eyes. “You say that everyone elses’ boy friends do this for them and yet, I feel as though I’m the only one.”

“Boyfriend?” you repeat, completely disregarding anything else he had said.

“Boy. Space. Friends,” he says before leaning back onto his hands. “Why? Do you wanna remove the space in between us?” he wiggles his eyebrows before swooping in close to you, noses bumping. You freeze at this. “What?” he smirks when you don’t push him away like usual. “You actually thinking about kissing me this time?”

You scoff, shaking your head and moving away from him. “Wang Linkai,” you scoff again. “You really are something else. You know that? Kiss you? My best friend? I’d rather eat sand or-“ You stop, looking at him and seeing the way his eyes cast down for a second. “What?”

He looks back up. “Nothing,” he says before pulling himself to his feet again. He stretches his arms over his head and yawns. “Come. Let’s go shop. Or something. I don’t know.” He shakes his head and reaches for his drink. Maybe he shouldn’t have poured so much alcohol into his drink. One sip and he’s already a mess. “What?” He notices you still haven’t moved from your spot on the floor. “Hurry up and put on your jacket. Or do I have to so it for you?” He makes a swipe to grab your arm but you pull back, holding it against your chest. “YN, what?” he sighs, a bit annoyed. “Are you mad at what I just did? Look, I’m sorry. Let’s just-“

“Linkai,” you frown. “Why do you look so sad?”

“It’s nothing,” he replies, walking around and looking for his keys.

“It’s doesn’t seem like nothing to you.” Your words are careful, almost as if you’re trying to find the right wire to cut in order for the bomb not to explode. It’s always like that when the two of you argue this deeply. And sadly, it always ends with somebody crying.

“Because it’s never anything to you!” he throws a hand down dramatically. “So like. Let’s go because I’m not going to do this today!”

“Do what today?” you ask, standing to your feet. He shakes his head and makes it towards the door when you grab his arm. He instantly spins around and pins you against the wall, arms encasing you. You narrow your eyes at him. “What’s your deal?” you huff.

“It’s not even a bit obvious to you?” He’s smiling like a deviant. Like you’re just playing into one of his cold jokes. “Are you really that stupid?”

“What did I do to you?” you cross your arms.

“Everything,” he says, eyes casting downwards. You feel your heart starting to hammer as you realize he’s staring right at your lips. “You waltz into my life and make it absolute hell. You expect me to just know what’s on your mind. You expect me to just know what makes you happy and what makes you sad. You expect me to just know these things and I don’t and it makes me so tired and yet...” he laughs coldly. “And yet when I look at you, I want to be defeated. I want to fall at my knees at your mercy. It’s been like this since the day we met.” His hand slowly makes its way up to your cheek, cupping the glowy red flesh between his fingers. “C’mon, YN. How should it be? What do I have to do to make you like me as much as I like you?”

“Linkai, you idiot! If you liked me, you should’ve just told me!” you pout.

“And then you would’ve found something to complain about then as well,” he rolls his eyes. “Honestly, YN. Just lighten up with me sometimes. I’m trying.”

“You’re always trying,” you smile. “That’s what I like about you.”

“You wanna know a secret?” he asks, leaning in closely. “I only try his hard for you.”

And as his lips finally land on yours, you realize that this is exactly how it should have been all along.

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scriptura-adrepticius · 6 years

Text

A Heart of Ice - Zhu Xingjie

Uncalled for and unrequested, but inspired by Beauty and the Beast, some beautiful fanart I CANNOT FIND, and because Xingjie looks like a prince.

Pairing: Zhu Xingjie x OC/reader

Genre: fluff, angst, royalty!au

Word Count: 7.2k

Zhu Xingjie has a heart of ice, and unbeknownst to you, you’ve been tasked with melting it.

Masterlist

if he looked at me like that i’d melt

Deep in the forest lies a forgotten palace, a forgotten land, a forgotten king. Cursed, he wanders the stone walls, unable to even glimpse the outside world.

The king used to be vain, you see. He was pristine, perfect, his skin pale and smooth, his eyes sharp but charming, his voice sweet and alluring.

He had everything. And that was his trouble.

The king grew up a spoiled child, used to flattery and gifts, unaccustomed to want. Whatever he wanted, he had or would get by whatever means possible. And when his father died and he ascended the throne, his requests only became more and more impossible.

It was a wintry day when the fairy came, disguised as an old woman seeking shelter, to see just how horrid this king truly was.

“Please, just one night, my good king… Please…”

She found out when he ordered her away.

In return, she cursed him. He stared in horror as she began to glow, a brilliant white light rendering him blind.

All the nobles and ladies around him vanished into thin air.

The candles flickered once and went out.

The drapes blew shut and when he ran to open them, the fairy simply laughed. “Young king,” she chuckled, “you would not want to see the sunlight.”

Frozen, the king could only stare at the now-beautiful fairy, who appraised him with a cold smile. “You will live forever as the king with a heart of ice, cursed to never see sunlight until you have learned to love once more. If exposed to the sun, your heart will melt too fast, and your time on earth will be gone.”

The king felt a stabbing in his heart, bringing him to his knees, and he clutched his chest in pain. He felt himself grow colder, saw his skin turn paler, felt the color drain from his face and his lips.

A cruel laugh echoed in the ballroom.

“Farewell, young king, and may we meet again soon.”

. . . . .

It’s cold.

Stupidly, that’s the only thing you can think at the moment. A snowstorm is brewing, and all you can think is that you’re cold.

“Well, I’m not wrong,” you mumble.

The wind is howling in your ears, the snow obscuring your vision. You clutch the reins on Xing harder, huddling down into your cloak as you urge him on. Xing obediently tries, but he can’t see either, and the snow on the ground is impossible.

The sun is nearly down, and the sky is darkening fast. If you stay outside longer, there is no guarantee on how long you can survive. Survival instinct spurs you on, and you doggedly continue with Xing.

It seems like a blessing when you finally see what seems to be a wall through the whirling snow. As you get closer, the wall grows larger, until you can just barely make it out to be a sort of very large house. Xing perks up, as though recognizing the house as a safe haven, and he speeds up slightly, slogging through the deep snow.

“Just a little more,” you encourage, patting his neck, before squinting through the snow to take a good look at the place.

“Oh my god,” you whisper.

It’s not a house.

It’s a palace.

A large, imposing gate - the wall that you saw - rings the grounds in which a tall, stone castle stands. You swallow, looking around nervously. It’s getting dark, and though you aren’t in a blizzard yet, the snowstorm very well might develop into one. So you steel your nerves, jump off of Xing, and lead him forward.

Once at the gate, you pause, unsure of how to get in, as the gate is made of heavy stone and metal. However, it seems you need not worry, because the gates suddenly swing open though not a single person is in sight. You look around suspiciously, but worry for Xing and the strengthening wind push you forward through the gates.

The gates are almost taller than you. Xing could probably just jump over them if he tried. There’d be no way for you to get out.

You shudder, not because of the cold this time, but because of how ominous this all feels.

You wonder if it’s too late to turn back.

A loud neigh jerks you around, the reins ripped from your grasp. Xing suddenly spooks and you shout, trying to calm him down, but he turns, rearing his neck, before running through the gate.

“Xing!” you yell, racing after him, but the gates clang shut right in your face, the loud noise ringing in your ears and rendering you frozen, unable to move.

You gape, stepping forward, but an invisible force repels you, sending you stumbling backwards.

Cold terror settles over you, but you force yourself to breathe deeply and turn around.

“Well, that settles it,” you mumble. With Xing gone, you have no way of going anywhere else. So you continue, hurrying to the doors of the palace as the wind continues to pick up speed.

The large, stone doors open surprisingly easily when you push, looking around for any sign of something living. “Hello?” you call, allowing the doors to close behind you.

There is no reply.

You shiver in the darkness, glancing back at the door. Again, you wonder if it’s too late to leave.

“Hello?” you try again.

Silence.

“Hello.”

A shriek builds up in your throat but you swallow it down, whipping around to see a lantern in the darkness, illuminating the side of someone’s face. A wave of relief and anxiety washes over you, and you bow slightly in their direction.

“I’m sorry for intruding, it’s just the storm outside was getting worse and my horse spooked and left and this was the closest place…” Your words die away when the person - well, the man - gets close enough for you to see his face.

He is striking, handsome, but inhumanly so. Perhaps the right word to describe him is otherworldly.

His skin is pale, so pale it’s nearly white, but not sickly. He stands with an elegant, cool grace you associate with nobles. His coal black hair contrasts sharply with his skin, and on anyone else, the combination would repulse you. However, it just makes him seem more aloof, even further away from you, a mere mortal.

His nose is tilted perfectly, his mouth unsmiling. A severe, wintry coldness seems to emanate from him, making you shiver even more.

But it’s his eyes that truly captivate you. And yet at the same time, they repel you.

They are dark. So dark.

And so, so cold.

“What brings you here, traveler?” he asks, gazing idly as though you are just a bug waiting to be crushed. You swallow, shrinking under his cold gaze, but you make an effort to hold yourself tall.

Your voice is steady when you speak. “I was trying to reach the next town, but I got lost when the snowstorm picked up. This place was the only place I saw, so I… I tried to come here. My horse spooked and ran away, and I have no other place to stay. I ask for your permission, please, to stay for the night. I will leave tomorrow morning.”

That disdainful gaze, that aura of cold, that wintry anger- is it anger? You’re not quite sure- makes you want to run away, but you swallow and stand your ground. “Please,” you plead again. “Just for tonight.”

The cold laugh that the man lets out sends chills up your spine.

“Traveler,” he says, staring directly at you. “I don’t think you understand.”

You take a step back involuntarily. “W-what...” You take a deep breath, steadying yourself. “What don’t I understand?”

There’s a long silence, and you’re about to bolt, blizzard or no, when he speaks.

“Once you enter this palace,” he says slowly, “you cannot leave.”

. . . . .

You jolt awake, panicking when you see that this is not your room. It takes a good thirty seconds for you to remember the events of yesterday, and when you do, you burrow under the thin blanket again.

“Please tell me this is all a dream,” you mumble, poking your head out of the covers once again, holding on to that stupid, vain hope.

Alas, the stone walls of the room shatter that dream. You sigh, kicking the covers away, before padding over to the small closet where you’d stuffed your things last night.

“I hope I brought that extra shirt,” you mutter, swinging the door open.

“What the fuck?!”

The closet is not empty, or even close to empty. Clothing of all types and designs fill the space with a rainbow of color, a stark contrast to the dark stone walls that surround you.

You blink.

You blink again.

You close the door and reopen it.

The clothes are still there.

You close it and open it again.

Everything is still there.

“Is this magic?” you murmur, hesitantly tugging on one of the shirts. To your surprise, it feels solid beneath your fingers, and you pull it out.

Dark blue, with intricate white designs bordering the collar and sleeves. You look between it and the rest of the fabric in the wardrobe.

“Why not?” you finally say, switching your rumpled, scratchy shirt for the new one. The cloth is comfortable and warm against your skin, and you pluck at it in curiosity as your stomach rumbles in hunger.

Food. Right.

You exit the room nervously, peeking around for any signs of the cold man from yesterday. There are none, so you venture out, stepping quietly on the stone floors. After wandering around for a long time, you finally locate what seems to be the dining room. There on a table lies a small assortment of fruits, breads, and other foods.

“Where does this all come from?” you ask yourself, eyeing the food uncertainly. You cautiously pick up an apple and examine it before biting into it.

Well, it tastes fine. You shrug before devouring the rest of the fruit.

“Magic, perhaps,” you murmur. You can’t think of any answer.

Once you finish, you take to wandering again, as there’s nothing better to do. You walk through the halls, taking random turns and opening random doors. You find a lounge, what seems to be a study, a lot of bedrooms, and then you find a library.

The room is large, filled with shelves that are in turn filled top to bottom with books. Mesmerized, you step inside, gazing in wonder at the book-laden shelves.

“Am I in heaven?” you squeak, breathing in the welcoming scent of old books. You pull one book off a shelf, scanning the title eagerly before sitting down to read.

The day passes in this manner, devouring one book and then pulling down another. It’s only when the clock strikes seven that you finally pull yourself from the fictional world to come back to reality.

You carefully mark your place with a scrap of paper, taking the book with you as you attempt to find the dining room again. It takes a good fifteen minutes, but that’s better than the thirty it took you this morning.

Still locked in a slightly dreamy haze, you step inside the room, ready to eat. However, you snap out of it quickly when you see the man from yesterday standing by the table.

Cold.

You shudder.

“You’re late,” he says simply.

You don’t sit down. “I wasn’t aware that there was a set time for dinner,” you reply, eyes flitting back and forth between the table and the door, wondering if you could just skip dinner like you skipped lunch.

“Well, now you are,” he replies indifferently. “Sit.”

You don’t particularly want to, but something tells you that you can’t disobey. So you sit down gingerly, placing the book down next to you. You notice the man’s gaze travel to it, but you ignore it, instead filling your plate.

The meal is uncomfortably silent. You want to talk, but at the same time, you don’t. There is no noise at all save for the sound of chewing and silverware clanking on plates.

“Where does the food come from?” you ask impulsively.

Then you want to throw yourself out the window because Xinyi, what the hell kind of conversation starter is that?

“Magic,” the man replies without even looking up.

You blink slowly.

Okay… so I was actually right.

“You don’t believe me?” he says, raising an eyebrow. You nod vehemently. “I believe you,” you say with conviction.

Well, how else could you explain the clothing and the food? You’re pretty sure he didn’t cook it all himself, at least.

He just raises one eyebrow. You kind of feel like he doesn’t believe you, but what does it matter? So you busy yourself with your food again.

You finish your food in silence, standing up awkwardly. “Uh, where should I put my plate?” You shift your weight from one foot to the other nervously.

“Just leave it,” he replies, standing up as well.

“Magic, huh,” you mumble to yourself, placing the plate down. You pick up your book, ready to leave.

“Xinyi.”

You freeze.

How does he know my name?

“The magic only keeps you from leaving the grounds,” the man continues, looking at you boredly. “You can still go outside.” He begins to walk away.

“How do you know my name?” you demand.

He turns back, a ghost of a smirk tilting his pale lips. “Magic.”

What an annoying jerk-

“And if you must know…” He pushes a lock of hair back, the simple motion rendering you speechless.

“My name is Zhu Xingjie.”

He walks away, leaving you to wonder just how he knew your unspoken question.

. . . . .

“Zhu Xingjie,” you mumble to yourself, wandering through the library. It’s a name that fits him, for some weird reason. You shrug, plucking a few books off the shelves. You’ll read those today.

A peek outside the heavy curtains tells you it’s sunny outside. You remember what Xingjie told you, that you could leave the castle, just not the grounds. You haven’t gone out in some time, so you think why not? and head out.

It’s cold, as expected, and you shiver even with the warm coat wrapped around you. You walk around for a bit, exploring the massive grounds, poking at a few strange statues here and there. They’re creepy, almost gargoyle-like, but interesting.

You find a large tree, and after climbing up the branches, you settle yourself in and continue reading.

Evening comes and you start to get hungry again, even after snacking the whole afternoon, so you reluctantly climb down the tree, shuffling inside the castle with rosy cheeks. You’re not sure if you’ll see Xingjie again, and you don’t really want to, but hunger wins over and you enter the dining room.

Xingjie is there. You don’t particularly care to sit with him for another meal, after they’ve been so awkward this whole week, so when you’re done filling up your plate, you start to walk away.

“You went outside?” he suddenly asks, a strange wistfulness in his tone.

Startled, you nod slightly. “Yes.”

He nods silently, turning back to his own food. You notice his expression turn from a blank face to a frown, but you stay no longer.

That strange display of emotion stays with you. You can’t help wondering why he seemed to have felt the way he did.

Still, what is there you can do about it? It’s hard enough to be in the same room as him- how can you get him to open up to you?

It’s a difficult question, one that you don’t have the answer to.

. . . . .

You decide to start by initiating conversation at meals. But wow, it’s hard.

First of all, you have no idea what to ask.

Second of all, it’s really hard to talk in Xingjie’s chilly presence.

Third of all, he doesn’t want to talk.

A few months drag on this cold manner.

“So what do you do during the day?” you ask one day, forcing yourself to keep the words flowing. It’s hard, and you’re running out of ideas, but you forge on anyway.

If you’re going to spend the rest of your life in this godforsaken place, you might as well get along with the only other person being held captive.

Xingjie looks up uninterestedly. You fight to keep your eyes steady, staring at him, though you want nothing more than to back away into the wall.

It’s not just that he looks scary. He certainly does, in a stupidly handsome way. However, it’s that unreadable expression in his eyes that makes you want to flee.

“Why do you want to know?” he responds, raising a single eyebrow.

Oh my god.

He’s been like this the whole past few months, and you now want to punch the stone wall, despite the fact that you’d probably break your hand.

Scratch that. You want to punch him.

He’s not making this easy at all.

“No particular reason,” you say evenly. “I’m trying to maintain a conversation, and I’m curious.”

He looks at you impassively. “Why do you want to maintain a conversation?”

You squeeze your eyes shut, willing your anger to go away before you throw food in his face. If you threw food, he could probably freeze you right then and there with that apathetic gaze of his.

“Because if I’m supposed to stay here for eternity, I might as well attempt to get along with the only other person being held captive in this godforsaken place,” you snap.

A cold expression passes over his face, and you involuntarily shiver, chills running down your spine.

“You will never know what it feels like to stay here for an eternity,” he says lowly, standing up.

You stare, shrinking slightly under his cold eyes. He walks over slowly, and you scramble to stand. You want to get away, because he’s seriously scaring you, but it’s as though his cold gaze has you frozen in place, unable to move.

He stops in front of you, his face only a foot from yours. You shiver, his cold aura hitting your skin.

Perhaps he really is the embodiment of winter.

“You will never know,” he whispers, his eyes angry and… is that helplessness you see?

His hand comes up, almost as though to grasp your chin, but just as he’s about to touch your skin, he drops it to his side quickly as though he’s just remembered something. Without another word, he stalks out the room.

Your hand comes up, touching the skin where he almost touched you. You shiver when you feel just how cold it is.

. . . . .

The events of last night come back with full force when you wake up the next morning. You groan, shoving your face back into the pillow.

You really don’t want to face Xingjie today.

It’s strange. In that moment where he nearly touched you, you saw so much emotion in his eyes, so much emotion that you’d never seen before.

Perhaps you’re so shocked because you couldn’t even think of him as a human with feelings.

The thought makes you feel really guilty.

Your thoughts turn back to that moment, your hand coming up to touch your chin as you gaze into the mirror. It’s bright red and prickles, though it doesn’t seem to be any worse than that.

“Oh god,” you whisper.

He nearly gave you frostbite from touching you.

Actually, he didn’t even touch you, which makes things even worse.

Is he even human? You feel guilty for thinking that, but it isn’t natural, his ice cold touch. His wintry aura isn’t normal either, as is the pallor of his skin.

You swallow, swinging your legs out of bed to get a closer look in the mirror. The frostbite is mild, alright, but you can already see the blister that’s supposed to form afterwards. You prod at it, wincing in pain.

“He may as well be the embodiment of winter,” you mutter.

You stay in your room the whole day, save for sneaking a couple plates of food out of the kitchen. But by late afternoon, you’re getting antsy, so you set off to the library to find a new book.

You push the door open, only to see him browsing the shelves. He looks over and you stop short, nervous and a little scared.

Xingjie’s eyes narrow, and he walks over, staring at your chin. His hand comes up and you jerk away reflexively before realizing he has gloves on.

“Relax,” he says quietly, though a bit haltingly, as though he isn’t used to speaking with such gentleness. “The gloves will prevent what happened yesterday.”

You relax slightly, allowing him to touch your chin gently. You look anywhere but at him, unsettled yet transfixed by his sudden kindness.

He takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” he says, voice serious. “I lost control of myself. I shouldn’t have done so.”

You swallow, forcing yourself to untense despite your proximity to him. “I have to apologize as well,” you say. “I didn’t know that what I said would affect you so much. I’m sorry.”

“It’s… not your fault,” he says, taking a slight step back. “You didn’t know.”

You want to ask why what you said hurt him so much, why it made him so angry, but the look in his eyes tells you that that is a question for another time. So you swallow your curiosities in favor of nodding.

“It’s not your fault either,” you say. “If someone had said something to anger me, I can assure you that my reaction would have been much more than touching their chin.”

It’s unexpected, what happens next, but Xingjie smiles slightly. Not a smirk. A real smile.

You gape.

“Perhaps,” he replies, “but I also must apologize for being so rude to you over the past few months.”

You make a face. “Let’s put that behind us. It’s fine.”

Xingjie raises an eyebrow, moving over to let you inside. “You certainly let go of things quickly.”

You shrug a little. “I don’t like holding grudges. I forgive, but don’t forget.”

Xingjie nods, looking thoughtful. “Well, I’ll leave you now,” he says. The look in his eyes softens the smallest bit as he bows slightly, about to walk away.

“Wait,” you say, before you even realize you’re speaking. He looks at you, surprised, but you swallow and forge on.

“Please don’t leave on my account,” you say softly. “You don’t need to go.”

Xingjie opens his mouth, staring at you in mild shock. You don’t hear the thoughts echoing through his head, but if you could, you would have heard Why would she want to be in the same room as a monster?

And yet something possesses him to stay.

You smile as he nods slightly and a little awkwardly, then steps back into the room.

. . . . .

Your friendship with Xingjie is tentative at first. The blister on your chin stays for a while, reminding you of just what he can do. It’s hard to relax yourself around him, though you make an effort to do so.

It’s also a little difficult to maintain a friendly relationship with someone whose beauty is so utterly cold and ethereal.

But it happens, bit by bit. Though you don’t see him around much, the castle doesn’t feel so uninviting anymore, and when you do see him, conversation flows. Not very smoothly, but it’s a start, and you find yourself more comfortable around him.

You still have a couple of questions, though. For one thing, besides when he apologized, you’ve never seen Xingjie outside of dinner.

What does he do during the day?

It’s a simple question, one that you should have no problem asking. However, something stops you. It feels like you’re invading his privacy, somehow, like it’s something private for Xingjie and Xingjie only.

And yet you ask anyway, because the scholar within you won’t rest until she gets her answers.

To your surprise, when you ask, Xingjie just kind of looks down. He looks… almost embarrassed.

Embarrassed.

Who knew the almighty ice prince Zhu Xingjie could look embarrassed?

You look at his expression. It’s… cute. You almost coo in amusement.

“I… make music,” he says quietly, barely able to look at you.

You tilt your head, unable to see the reason behind his reaction to his statement. “Music?” you echo.

He nods.

“So you play an instrument?” you ask, leaning forward.

Xingjie hesitates, then nods. “Piano, guitar… basically all of the instruments in the music room.”

You’re too excited to notice his slightly confused expression. “Can I hear you play?” you ask, gazing at him eagerly.

It seems to take a moment before your question registers in his mind, and even then, Xingjie is still a little out of it when he answers. “After dinner,” he promises, and you have to fight to keep the wild grin off of your face.

. . . . .

Xingjie is confused.

Very, very confused.

First of all, why weren’t you… fazed… at all… by the fact that he liked to make music in his free time?

His parents had devoted their entire lives to telling him that his passion for music would take him nowhere, that it was useless, that he had to devote his life to running the kingdom and not to such stupid trivial pursuits. As such, the nobles of the court devoted their lives to telling him the same thing.

Even after his parents died and he became the cold shell he is today, he hesitated to go to music even though nobody could stop him.

All because of that stupid stigma against the arts that he was brought up to believe in.

So when you expressed enthusiasm in his interest, in his music-making, he was shocked. And what shocked him even more so was the genuine delight in your eyes.

In all his years in the court, he’d never seen anyone look at him as genuinely as you did.

When you continued to ask him about playing instruments, he was so lost. He couldn’t believe that anyone was speaking to him like this. Especially a monster like him.

Really, did you just not realize the pure coldness that he emanated? The fact that he was literally a frozen, animated… semi-human?

And then when you asked him if he could play for you… well, Xingjie really can’t explain the slight feeling bumping around his chest. It’s been so long since he really felt something for anything other than his music that he really just doesn’t know how to explain it.

Whatever the feeling is, it isn’t unpleasant.

It’s then that he learns you can play the instrument too, not as well as he but granted, he’s had decades of practice compared to your mere eighteen. It’s then that the feeling grows, filling his chest as he watches you play with your simple grace and charm.

You confuse him so, so much.

And yet… this confusion… it isn’t unwelcome.

Xingjie sighs, getting up abruptly.

He’s never felt like this before, and he’s not sure what to make of it at all.

. . . . .

You lie in bed, still on cloud nine because of the beautiful music this night had given you. Or, more accurately, that Xingjie had given you.

His fingers danced on the instruments, making sounds that were almost too beautiful for your ears. He was talented, sure, but you could see just how much dedication he had to music and how hardworking he had to have been to reach that level.

You turn over, humming one of his melodies quietly. It had been a wonder to watch him play, to watch how he transformed from a cold, awkward being to someone with so much passion.

A smile crosses your lips involuntarily.

It’s like you’re seeing Xingjie in a whole new light now. First he was the cold, unwelcoming prince of the castle. Then he became more like an awkward, shy transfer student from another school.

And now he’s more like the dreamy musician with a passion that’s infectious, that inspires you to do better, to do more.

Your heart thumps, thinking of his bashful smile when you complimented his playing, and you feel yourself reddening slightly.

Who knew such a cold person could make you blush like this?

Really, if there wasn’t so much… mystery… behind Xingjie, and if you knew more about him, you wouldn’t hesitate to say that you could definitely fall in love with him.

But there’s those other questions that continue to prod the back of your brain and force you to stay vigilant and guarded against these feelings in your heart.

Just why is Xingjie here? Why is the castle always so dark, and why are the windows never open? And why is Xingjie so… cold?

. . . . .

Now that you know where Xingjie is during the day, you don’t hesitate to enter the music room quietly, sit in a corner with a book, and read as he fashions new melodies and harmonies that bless your ears with their beauty.

Xingjie doesn’t hesitate to join you in the library either, with him giving you recommendations every now and then. He doesn’t say it, but you have a suspicion that he’s read everything in the library.

Which brings another question to your mind: how long has he been here?

“You look like you’re thinking hard about something.” You start a little, not having noticed that Xingjie’s stopped playing and is now looking at you with slight concern. “Penny for your thoughts?”

You really want to ask the questions you have in mind. But for some reason, you also don’t. It feels like… taboo. You don’t know why, but it’s like you just can’t ask.

So you opt for something else. “What’s the extent of the magic of this place?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, like…” you trail off, trying to put your question into words. “Does everything necessary just… appear? Or is it like if you wish for something, it appears? Or what?”

“If you wish for something within reason, it will appear, I think,” Xingjie confirms. “I haven’t fully tested this magic either, despite-” He stops suddenly, then shakes his head. “Never mind. I just know that after I learned the guitar, I wished for more instruments, and the next day they were here.”

You notice his sudden hesitation and you want to pry further, but you don’t. Silence falls, and unlike other silences you’ve had before, this one is awkward.

Xingjie seems to know that wasn’t the question you wanted to ask.

“So what did you really want to ask?” he says quietly.

Damn, you were right.

You swallow. The air suddenly seems colder, and you shiver involuntarily, scared to verbalize your thoughts.

Fuck it, you think. And you open your mouth to talk.

“What is your connection to this place?”

Xingjie immediately clams up. You can see it. And you feel really bad for making him so uncomfortable, but you also really want answers.

“I…” He starts, then stops.

You’ve never seen this look in his eyes. To you, Xingjie has always been confident, cold, shy, embarrassed, sweet, and so many other things, but never… nervous.

And this expression makes you scared. What could be so bad about your question that the ice prince is now nervous?

“I can’t tell you that,” Xingjie finally says. “I’m bound by the magic of this place. I can’t tell you. At least… not yet.”

You nod slowly, putting down your book. “Then can you tell me why it’s always so dark?” You think for a moment, coming to a sudden realization. “Come to think of it, I’ve never seen you go outside either.”

Xingjie looks even more helpless. “I can’t tell you that either.”

“Okay.” You nod again, feeling awkward. The atmosphere is tense and uncomfortable, and you quickly stand up to leave. “See you, Xingjie.”

“Alright, Xinyi.”

You leave the room hurriedly, eager to escape the tense silence.

. . . . .

A week passes. Then another. And another. And another.

And, slowly but surely, the friendship you’ve built with Xingjie begins to crumble.

It’s your fault, you suppose. If you hadn’t asked those stupid questions, things wouldn’t be this way.

You’re miserable. You never realized just how much you enjoyed your time with Xingjie, how much you enjoyed talking to him.

You never thought you’d feel this empty without him.

It was your decision to stop going to the music room after that tense conversation. You stay in your room or outside for the most part, knowing that you won’t see Xingjie there. Dinner is awful - you’d forgotten how bad the silences used to be.

Without Xingjie, you feel empty and desolate. It’s like he’s become an essential part of your being over the past months, and you’re incomplete without him.

But if you’re miserable, Xingjie feels worse. He doesn’t blame your curiosity - he mostly blames himself for not being able to tell you what you want to know.

If only he could explain why he was so cold, why he couldn’t go outside, why the castle was always dark and how he was bound to this castle.

He sighs, his head in his hands. He’s sitting at the piano, but today, inspiration won’t come to him.

It’s strange. Whenever you were with him, lying quietly in the corner with your book, ideas came naturally to him. Seeing your smile inspired him. You made him feel that strange feeling in his heart, that strange feeling that he couldn’t figure out before… but now he’s pretty sure he knows that it is.

Love. That’s what it is.

Love.

But Xingjie’s afraid. He’s never loved before, for one thing. The only people he’d ever cared about were his three friends, all of whom disappeared when he was eternally bound to suffer here. He’s never felt this raw emotion for another human, this longing for someone that makes him almost physically ache for want of you to be near him.

For another thing, Xingjie has only one shot at getting this right. If you aren’t the one, and Xingjie only mistakenly thinks he’s in love, then things could go very, very wrong. For you and for him.

And the last thing, the scariest thought of all.

What if you don’t love him back?

Xingjie finds it difficult to believe that you could ever care for him in the same way he cares for you. He’s literally subhuman - his heart of ice confirms that.

How could you ever love someone who’s barely human?

The days drag on, with you slipping through his fingers with each passing moment. Xingjie becomes desperate to see you, but even when he does, it’s like there’s a wall between you two. An invisible wall that makes communication more difficult than ever.

It’s killing him. Well, probably not really, since he’s literally immortal and bound to this fucking place until he learns to love. But it really feels like it’s killing him.

And so he makes a decision.

. . . . .

You’re standing, ready to leave the dining room. You cast a glance at Xingjie, who looks conflicted about something.

You turn, but Xingjie’s voice calling your name has you stopping in your tracks. “Xinyi.”

“Yes?” You look back to see Xingjie walking up to you.

“I… um…” Xingjie looks down, then back at you, a slight blush on his face. “Would you dance with me?”

It takes a few seconds for the question to register in your mind.

Dance?

“Here?” you ask, perplexed.

Xingjie quickly shakes his head. “No. In the ballroom.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to tell you something, but in a livelier situation.” Xingjie smiles slightly. “And from my past experience, dancing is livelier than me sitting you down at a table to tell you.”

“But I have nothing to wear,” you say, looking down at your trousers and shirt. They’re undoubtedly nice clothes, but for a dance, you need a dress. Unless Xingjie plans on being unorthodox.

Xingjie laughs a little, a sound you’re glad to hear after so many weeks of silence. “Xinyi, remember that this place is magic?”

You blush. “Right.”

“Go check your closet,” Xingjie says helpfully. “I’ll meet you there.”

With that, he walks around you out the door.

. . . . .

Icy blue silk, white satin gloves, a rose pin in your hair, light blue shoes. You watch your step, doing your best not to trip on the stairs.

It’s with nervousness and anticipation that you walk to the ballroom, hoping that you don’t look a total mess, but all those thoughts fly out of your mind when you see Xingjie.

He looks so, so handsome.

His blue silk shirt matches your dress, as do his white gloves, contrasting with his black pants. His eyes are still as dark and deep as you remembered, but it seems that they’re… twinkling. An expression you’ve never seen before.

“You look very handsome,” you say shyly, taking his outstretched hand.

“And you look very beautiful,” he says back, unable to take his eyes off of your face.

You blush under his gaze, allowing him to lead you inside. “Are we dancing without music?” you ask, looking around at the various instruments leaning against the wall.

“Magic, Xinyi,” Xingjie says, whirling you into position. You attempt to recall the dances you were taught back home, hoping that this won’t be too different.

You look around, startled, as music begins to play. You catch a glimpse of a violin floating in the air before Xingjie is moving, placing his hand on your waist and yours on his shoulder, and clasping the other in his.

“Let’s dance,” he whispers, his cold breath hitting your face. You shiver slightly, but in delight, before following his lead.

It’s strange, awkward almost, to be the only two dancing in this enormous ballroom. But after the first dance, your surroundings melt away, your attention focused only on the man in front of you. And you become comfortable enough to ask the first question.

“So,” you say, “what did you want to tell me?”

Xingjie twirls you under his arm slowly, looking suddenly serious. “You had questions before that I could not answer.”

You nod.

“I’ll answer them now,” he promises, “but don’t interrupt me until I’m done, okay?”

“Okay,” you reply.

There’s a short silence as the music dies, signaling a new song. The opening bars are soft, eerie, and haunting, and you shiver in Xingjie’s grasp.

“I was once a king,” he says, looking into your eyes. “I was vain, selfish, and horrible. I had everything. I wanted for nothing. And if I wanted for something, I would get it. No matter what. In short, I did not love.”

You remain silent, unable to look away.

“One day a fairy came, disguised as an old woman seeking shelter. I refused her.” Horrible pain twists Xingjie’s face and he looks away for a moment to compose himself. “It sounds terrible, but that was the person I was back then.”

You find it a little hard to believe, but seeing the pain in his eyes, you know that he’s telling the truth.

“In return, she cursed me.” Xingjie swallows. “Everyone around me vanished. The lights flickered out. And when I tried to open the drapes… Well, in short, the fairy had cursed my heart. I did not know how to love - my heart was proof of that. So it literally became a heart of ice.” A bitter smile crosses his face. “So I’m not even human. I’m a monster.”

“You’re not a monster,” you say staunchly. “Get that idea out of your head.”

Xingjie laughs a little sadly, adjusting his grip. “Alright, if you say so.

“Anyway, if I went outside,” he continues, “if I saw the sunlight, that ice would melt, and I would live no longer. As long as I remained in the dark, I would live, eternally bound to this castle until I learned to love.”

You nod slowly. Then, unable to restrain yourself, you ask, “But why couldn’t you tell me earlier? Why tell me now?”

A slight smile twists his pale lips. “If I told my story to anyone I did not love, I would die. Immediately, painfully, I don’t know.”

Your heart pounds painfully in your chest as Xingjie stops dancing, the music coming to a rest. It’s so silent in the huge room that you can hear your breathing, shallow and quick.

“You love me?” you finally ask, voice barely a whisper.

“I think I do,” Xingjie replies, his voice equally soft. “Do you love me as well?”

You nod once, twice, three times. “I think I do,” you whisper.

Xingjie’s gloved hand finds its way to your cheek, caressing the skin with his thumb. His touch is cold but dulled by the cloth of his glove, and you revel in the way his hand brushes against your skin, gently pushing away a fallen strand of hair.

You lean closer, cupping his face in your hands. You stare into his eyes, those dark eyes you fell in love with, those dark eyes that hold you captive in place. You are spellbound, feeling his breath ghost across your lips.

“Are you sure you love me? A monster?” he whispers.

“I said, get that idea out of your head.” You glare at him teasingly. “And yes. I am sure.”

And you press your lips to his in a gentle, sweet kiss.

. . . . .

It’s cold.

Xingjie’s lips are so cold.

It repels you and you almost pull away, but you force yourself to come closer, allowing Xingjie’s hands to rest around your waist as you cup his face in your hands. You force yourself to stay pressed against him, against the man you are sure you love.

And then, gradually, his lips become warmer. And warmer. And warmer.

You open your eyes, staring into his, before breaking away.

Where pale, white skin used to be, there is now a hint of pink and color in his cheeks. Your eyes roam his face, seeing pink lips and twinkling eyes.

Is that a tear you see? You reach up, brushing it away with your thumb.

“Xingjie,” you breathe. A tear wells in your eye, threatening to spill down your cheek. “Xingjie.”

“Xinyi,” he whispers, brushing it away.

And then he kisses you again.

Around you, the drapes blow open, the music begins to play again, and chattering begins to fill the room. But you don’t notice, focused only on the man whose heart you have melted.

“I love you,” you sigh against his lips.

He breaks away for just a second, just enough to say, “I love you too.”

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