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nomazee · 2 days

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Hello, congratulations on your milestone! 🎉

May I have (for the mix-and-match 😚) Dr.Ratio and the word-concept "bathtub"? 🫢

Take your time! ❤️❤️

this one was fun to write too (as per usual with ratio) i've written for dr ratio so much in the last two weeks i think i am becoming him.... Im slowly morphing into veritas ratio please save me... THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING this was lovely :3

my 1k event!

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“No way. You take bubble baths with a rubber duck?”

Veritas freezes for no longer than a millisecond before whipping his head around to see you in the doorway of the bathroom. He’d been relaxing just moments ago, sinking into the hot water with his eyes closed, and yes there was a rubber duck in the bath with him but that was not by choice. It just happened to be there when he ran the bath, and he opens his mouth to argue but is quickly cut off by your endless rambling.

“Anyways, I came to wash your hair. One of your assistants told me you just left in the middle of your usual work hours, and I thought, ‘wow, how odd, the Ratio I know would never do that!’ And then I thought, what better way to cheer my dear friend up than keep him company and wash his hair! It did look a little greasy today.”

“I am not your dear friend,” he argues mockingly, but the bite in his voice falls short when you circle around the bath and set down your paraphernalia on the tiles next to you (a microfiber hair towel, shampoo, conditioner, some miscellaneous hair foams and sprays that he really does not trust you with). “You are the most insufferable person I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. Get out of my bathroom.”

“This is our bathroom now, Ratio. We’re a community, you and me.”

“It’s ‘you and I.’”

“Exactly! You and I, a community. You’re getting the hang of it now.”

Veritas sighs, surrendering any potential of a relaxing evening to your whims. This is, unfortunately, how it usually goes, and he has yet to make a real effort to stop it. A voice in the back of his head taunts him because at his core, he has zero desire to stop it at all.

“Come on,” you keep babbling, threading your fingers roughly through his already-damp hair. It’s not a pleasant sensation at all, and he winces and holds back a pained yelp. “It’s kind of like going to a spa, or whatever. I’m trying to pamper you. Be grateful!”

“There’s nothing to be grateful about when you’re trying to scalp me,” he could push your hands away easily, bat you off and make you leave. Instead, though, he gives you a minute to tame your inelegant movements into something gentler. He hears the sound of a bottle uncapping, and then your hands are back on his scalp, lathering honey-scented shampoo into the layers of his hair.

“Is this better?” you ask cheekily, tracing circles in his hair, digging your fingertips in and scratching just a little bit, hard enough to feel it but light enough that it’s still soothing. Veritas sighs through his nose, deep and heavy and sinking back into the water. There’s no mocking retorts, no quips, no sarcastic tone, just the even cycle of his breathing and the rhythm of his heartbeat thudding in his ears. If he tries hard enough, focuses enough, he can hear yours too, but it makes his stomach twist with an uncomfortable, unnameable feeling.

In your bundle of things that you brought, there’s an empty plastic cup, and you use it to scoop water from the tub and rinse the foam from his hair. Veritas feels wholly exposed, for obvious reasons among others, and the urge to kick you out still sits heavy in his chest. Right next to it is a warmth, though, something holding his sensibility hostage, something that finds this more comforting than it would be if he’d sat in the bath until the water went cold, all alone, without your hands washing his hair clean of oil and grime and the weight of his research.

You break him of his reverie, but the sudden sound of your voice isn’t as intrusive as he anticipated. “You know, you should start using this oil thing for your hair, I got it from one of my coworkers,” by now, his hair is completely rid of any remaining shampoo, and your hands are rubbing a thin layer of conditioner into the ends of each strand, “and it’s supposed to help your hair grow. I think you’d look great with long hair, Veritas, don’t you agree?”

“What, do you think about that often?” It’s supposed to be something snarky, something to shut you down before you dig too deep, but you never catch the hint—it’s your best and worst quality.

“Maybe,” you admit, heft in your words, a density that needs to be cut open and examined. He’s good at that—good at looking and prying, but he’s the worst if he’s next to you. You’re nowhere near as thorough of a researcher as him, but he thinks (with a sense of embarrassment) that when the subject is him, you’re the most qualified person around. “Wouldn’t it be nice? With your hair all down to your shoulders, maybe. And if you really think it’s a hassle to take care of, I’ll just do it for you.”

He’s perfectly capable of taking care of his own hair, thank you very much, but the idea of having you wash it for him, brush out the tangles in it every other day is appealing to a starving man like Veritas. He aches, and the skin at the nape of his neck itches.

“You’re saying nonsense,” he says, and he can feel the way his brow has tightened and he instinctively goes to chew at the dead skin on his lips. “My hair is perfectly fine the way it is.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that,” you respond, “just giving you options.” Your hands finally leave his hair, and suddenly the water in the bathtub feels frigid and icy, and Veritas represses a shiver. “Your hair is squeaky clean. Now, get out of the bathroom! It’s my turn to hang out with the rubber duck.”

“Would you—?!” Veritas turns to glare at you, but the impish grin on your face makes him falter. You’re incorrigible. “The duck isn’t mine! And you have your own bathroom. Stop invading my space.”

“Sigh,” you say aloud, because you’re corny and theatrics are written into every part of your personality. “Oh, grandest Ratio, I really did think we were friends, but you wound me so deeply! All this time has meant nothing to you! All this new shampoo that I bought just for you, gone to waste…”

“For gods’ sake,” he mutters, reaching for a set of pajamas that you’d so conveniently taken from his own dressers and brought with you while on your mission to wash his hair. “Turn around so I can get dressed and then you can use the bathroom. So annoying.”

“Not annoying enough to kick me out, though,” you say, and you’re completely right, and Veritas will admit that one day, but certainly not today.

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gen taglist: @tragedy-of-commons @lasiancunin @hanyi-writes

#nora hits 1k #veritas ratio x reader #dr ratio x reader #ratio x reader #dr. ratio x reader #hsr x reader #honkai x reader #honkai star rail x reader #veritas x reader #oh veritas my beautiful annoying obnoxious scholarly man

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our-lesboy-experience · 1 day

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hiii!!! so uh, this is sorta about 'contradicting' (?) identities in general, but i only recently found out about, like, lesboys and gaygirls and all of that, but what is it exactly? like how does it work? or is that weird to ask? i'm trying figuring myself out but a lot of stuff i've seen doesn't exactly... explain it (or explain it well), and while i guess i do get why, it's just kinda hard to understand it myself for my own identity

also, probably a question you get a lot in a hating way, but isn't the definition of lesbian nonman loving nonman? so then how does lesboy work? like is it for people with more complicated gender identites, like fluctuating genders and bigender? just genuinly confused, my apologies...

sorry for not getting to this sooner- been busier lately and didn't have the time to collect everything I needed to respond!

About what it exactly means to be a lesboy or a gaygirl ('turigirl' is the more common term, 'turi' meaning turian, another word for gay attraction to men. so I'll be referring to it as that from now on), there isn't exactly....one right way to call yourself such. it really depends on the person, but I can give you a basic definition and a list of common reasons someone may call themselves such

im gonna put a read more because this ended up being super long so sorry

lesboy is a term for any lesbian who may have a connection to manhood and/or masculinity. turigirl is just the opposite of that, a gay person (mlm/nblm) who may have a connection to womanhood and/or femininity. common reasons I've seen are:

being multigender or genderfluid

being cusper/in between trans and cis gnc (in between trans man and cis gnc woman, in between trans woman and cis gnc man)

being a system who uses lesboy/turigirl as a collective identity or when identities blur together

a person who uses man/boy or woman/girl as a means of masculine or feminine gender expression but not actually identifying as such

being a trans man/ftm or a trans woman/mtf who still identifies as lesbian or gay for personal reasons

those are far from all the reasons, everyone has their own unique experiences, but the gist is these people may have some sort of connection to manhood/womanhood while still having a queer attraction. personally, I'm multigender, genderfluid, and transmasc. lesboy I find is a nice label to express being both my bigender self and being a lesbian, as it forces people to acknowledge both without separating the two. it's cute and makes me feel validated!

as for "nonman attracted to nonmen" definition of lesbian......it has its issues. it's received criticism all around from all sorts of lesbians in the community. this definition is very new - it emerged only in the recent years, and someone on twitter had date searched it and found it didn't even really exist before 2019. and having that as the one and only official definition that every lesbian has to abide by, when lesbian is a centuries old word with so much history behind it, is a bit ignorant. people who are multiple genders or ftm or bi being lesbian is not even remotely new, going back decades upon decades, and it never stopped existing too. It's a bit weird to have a whole new definition that doesn't include all sorts of lesbians that have been here for so long and just tell them they're not welcomed anymore, right?

that's not even close to the only issue there is with it. it's been disliked for centering lack of attraction to men, or defining lesbian in relation to men, rather than who we're actually attracted to. putting nonbinary people in a new binary of either being "men or nonmen," which not all feel comfortable putting themselves into. especially when considering a definition of gay being "nonwomen attracted to nonwomen," man-woman bigender people are simultaneously excluded from being both lesbian or gay. It inherently overlaps with mspec identity ("attraction to nonmen, which is more than one gender" and "any orientation that involves attraction to more than one gender" kinda obviously overlap), despite people insisting that a lesbian can never be mspec. people have found multiple loopholes in it, (which I can elaborate on if someone wants me to, for the sake of trying to make this as short as possible), and lastly, and term "nonman" (and nonwoman) were found to have existed before to describe the degendering of black people in society. this isn't the only source I've seen for this, but sadly I can't exactly find it (or find it without going back to that hellsite called twitter and I'm not doing that to myself)

oh and as the link points out, defining lesbian by these words also ends up excluding a lot of two-spirit people from ever identifying as lesbian, myself included. which is also really racist. I don't know how you're gonna end up excluding a whole cultural gender that's common for indigenous americans to describe themselves with and try to prove it somehow isn't racist, to be honest

and lastly, some surveys/polls have shown that the definition isn't the most widely accepted by lesbians as people make it out to be. there's this simple poll that someone posted asking how lesbians felt about the definition that received 1,529 responses, and 61.1% of voters said they disliked it. comments gave lots of reasons I've stated already. there was another survey put out that received 211 responses that for any lesbian who had a genderqueer or unique relationship with gender, and one of the questions asking opinions on the "nonmen loving nonmen" as a definition. the average among the group was slightly negative (average 2.838), and reported that the group who tended to feel the most positively about it didn't consider themselves to be trans, with the other positive leaning group considered themselves to be somewhat cis. the group that felt the most negatively sometimes considered themselves to be trans. and of the multigender participants, the average opinion was 2.255 (more negative than the overall average). When concluding, the original poster stated, "When divided by gender, the only groups to feel positive about this definition were "not trans" and "somewhat cis" participants. Multigender participants felt especially negative about this definition"

all of this shows that this definition isn't nearly the best for everyone who considers themselves a lesbian. I know it's been a way to include nonbinary people who are lesbian in it's definition, but I think it really misunderstands why nonbinary people are included in lesbianism in the first place, and just assumes that all nonbinary people aren't men and fails to recognize that multigender/genderfluid people are nonbinary too. and it's not like lesbian has to only have on definition- it can definitely have multiple and depend on each person's experience with it. if someone personally defines them being lesbian around being a nonman attracted to nonmen, and takes pride in not being attracted to men, that's totally fine. what becomes a problem is forcing all lesbians to define themselves like this and make it the standard, or else they're "not real lesbians." it is ahistorical and ignorant to require this or else you'll strip them of their lesbian status, and is really at the end of the day, lesbophobic. especially as a requirement that primarily exists in online spaces. im sure the lesbian who is not at all connected to these circles doesn't particularly care about strict requirements or whether someone is a "nonman" or not. in conclusion, it is not the best nor most accepted definition of lesbian, and deciding which lesbians are valid or not based solely on that definition is pretty exclusionary and ends up policing a lot of lesbians, myself included

#lesboy #turigirl #lesbian #gay #multigender #genderfluid #mspec lesbian #asks #tw exclusionism #tw queerphobia #lesbophobia #I can definitely elaborate on some points if asked #I do have some thoughts I've never shared before

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bowenoke · 2 months

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i'm sure i am not the only one who is very concerned about the ~4 hours between when the midjourney change was made, and I knew to go opt out of it, so; glaze does not need to be on all your works to be effective. in the same way that one artist glazing all their works will ruin a broad, multi-artist dataset, glazing your works moving forward will ruin any dataset trained on you. if out of 100 comics I've posted, 10 are glazed, a dataset trained on all of my comics will not be able to make anything similar to my style. anyways. go download glaze.

#ofc a manual review of the data set could pick out anything glazed. ig the point for me is to force that manual review #though wider adoption of glaze is not a perfect or even workable solution for many. my computer is 10 years old and runs glaze but #thats pretty lucky on my part. and the '100 comics' thing isnt perfect bc. im not using glaze on my comics. it looks really bad.#and there's not a real risk of someone using my art to train a data set bc. like. cartoons exist.#like you probably SHOULD glaze everything especially from now on #but if like me the idea of trawling your entire internet presence seems so daunting youd almost sooner delete it all #posting Some poison is better than posting No poison #but most important is not being paralyzed into inaction by how daunting the task is. even if that does mean no poison #im trying out what works and what does not right now for me. and i guess my advice is that you do too even if that means making a pillowfor #lol

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fishyfishyfishtimes · 6 months

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If I counted it right, it seems I had 63 trick or treaters this year! That's pretty awesome!! Let's do this again next year. :) Now though, now it's Nowember!

#i am too nice to decline people so when my candy ran out at 50 people i was trying to say “hey! stop it now!!”#alas.. 13 people came knocking after the fact! these tactics dont work on the internet because people dont always immediately refresh -#newest posts haha. serves me right #i shouldve just stopped there but i dont want to leave people hanging.. not one but TWO MUTUALS SENT ME ASKS AFTERWARDS!! WHAT DOES ONE DO #IN THAT SITUATION TTOTT #im being silly of course. i choose what i do with my time #not fish

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teruthecreator · 1 year

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1 AM and the servers asleep so i’m just gonna post my thoughts on here but i think it’s rlly so important and poignant how sho extends an olive branch to his father after everything that happened, when he absolutely would’ve been justified in spitting in toichiro’s face and walking out of his life forever (similarly to what toichiro did to him, metaphorically at least). and that decision that he makes is one that cements how mature and understanding sho is despite his antics and attitude.

like, he’s a kid, and he’s a kid that experienced massive amounts of abuse and trauma in his formative years. we will truly never know how he was raised whilst working in claw, but seeing how pretty much everyone else was manipulated, brainwashed, and tortured into reaching their full potential—the assumption can be made that it wasn’t easy. and sho’s father is Directly responsible for that, meaning he’s Directly responsible for any mistreatment or neglect sho faced even if it wasn’t done by him directly. and any kid at his age with all that baggage probably wouldn’t want to keep their dad around, after everything has finally been resolved. but sho doesn’t do that; he reminds toichiro that he’s still gotta hear an earful from his ex wife, and sho is ensuring that this won’t be the end. he is offering his father a kindness that that man never gave to him. and that’s like. Astounding for a kid his age

i think it’s really easy for people to place sho firmly in the trope of like silly, goofy kid with an insane side; but sho has one of the most level heads out of the esper teens. it’s kind of like he got a lot of that emotional turbulence out of the way beforehand, and now is just centering his focus on this one goal. of course, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do stupid shit based on bad trains of thought (the whole concept of him trying to resist the narrative only to become more ingrained in it is like. right there. also the hero trope shit y’all have seen the essay posts i’m not reiterating). but sho is a lot more sure of what he’s doing and what he wants than ritsu, mob, or teru.

also it’s just like. the fact that he gives his father a second chance really drives home the message of the entire series. that people can make mistakes, but those mistakes do not have to define their whole existence if they’re willing to own up to them and change. sho is extending himself in much the same way mob extended himself to toichiro hours earlier, only this time there’s the weight of this probably not being the first time sho has given his father a second chance and yet he Still does it. and toichiro realizing that he could’ve squandered that chance during confession arc is SO GOOD like you see how sho is conflicted and hurt bc he’s essentially being let down once again, and so toichiro walks back. he won’t let his son’s trust be given in vain

the suzukis rival the kageyamas in terms of like. accurate familial representation. like if you eliminate all of the psychic terrorism bullshit, this is a broken family—further broken by a messy divorce—trying to navigate life post-everything. there is no expectation for sho to forgive his father (he doesn’t do that at any point and That Is Important), and there’s no expectation for him to do anything with his father At All. toichiro understands that he is deserving of no one’s kindness.

yet sho does it anyway. he does it because he wants to and because he cares. and that’s far more than toichiro could’ve ever asked for

#ignorance cloud on #mp100 #um uhhhhh um. looks around. hey who’s getting too emotional abt the suzukis over here?#maybe this is bc im in the awkward process of trying to figure out whether i wanna cut my parents off for good but like. their relationship #means a lot to me and sho is such an interesting character bc of how he navigates this #like sho is well within his rights to never talk to his dad again. but that’s not what he does! he reaches out! he wants this!#like i don’t rlly believe in the concept of like a ‘redemption arc’ bc i think it allows people to like sweep #heinous bullshit under the rug. i more believe in just the concept of growth and like. moving forward #toichiro and sho never ignore what happened. the abuse and the trauma is all there. sho makes no efforts in trying to distract from that #toichiro never apologizes and sho never forgives bc they both know it’d be a moot point #but working beyond that together and like. rediscovering the meaning of family is just OGH #the kageyama parents don’t interact w their kids enough for us to get any good parental child dynamics #but the suzukis make up for that tenfold. shouts out. love them. okay uh i’ve been typing for thirty minutes #bed time forever now #sorry if this is incoherent hvjdnnfjvnf

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jils-things · 4 months

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memoryshipping x studio ghibli: the masterpost ✨✨

see them separately: (x) (x) (x)

no need to rb!

#damn dude... what a movie does to a selfshipper....#im very proud of these - because i figured out a nice filter for these edits #for those who're curious - i used gaussian blur + bloom + faded frame or whatever it was called in ibispaint and ofc the vhs effect #and i totally intended to make the VHS effect a combo of purple and green since it was an option available AHEHEHEH #i honestly... really like how i drew stevens back view 🥺🥺🥺🥺 like it looks so.#attractive?????? is that the right word? it just looks really nice to look at from behind #i tried to make sense with his hair and i think it worked well here #jaides hair is so POOFY AAAHJCCKCK shes so pretty 💚💚💚💚💚#okay guys who wants the air walk raise your hand SLASH J SLASH J DON'T ACTUALLY PLEASE #I AIN'T DOING AN AU HERE BECAUSE YOURE BASICALLY SAYING YES JAIDE SHOULD BE A GRANDMA AKSKDJSBDHJSJDJSJSJS #yk im so tempted to do a little... directors cut here but itll be so LONG 😭#i literally havent seen this movie in ages i only saw it once but my sister is such a big fan of the movie and she checks it often LOL #but now after watching it again recently im like #alright i kinda get thr appeal now AJSHSHAJSBSHS #tho i regularly listen to the ost (THE OST IS LITERALLY ON THE STEVAIDE PLAYLIST AND NOW IT HAS MORE IMPACT ON ME LMFOAJDHSHA)#i know i keep saying this. but. howlsophie = stevaide ufghgg 😭😭😭😭 i never saw this coming #WEEEGHH IM TRYING TO PUT IN ALL MY THOUGHTS HERE BUT I CANT REMEMBER #IM ALREADY DOING A DIRECTORS CUT AKAKSKSJSJSJSJAJ #YEAH ANYWAYS YAY MEMORYYYYY #♥️ memoryshipping #~ art

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barkingangelbaby · 3 months

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I feel like such a broken fucking person lol

I talked way too much in the tags don't read them

#fighting off the ideation like my life depends on it!! bc it does!!!#been good about not thinking certain phrases but F U C K am i feeling it. i want to turn into a pile of dust #i am so desperately trying to work on myself and change my patterns and bad habits and perspective but it feels like i always fall short #i try not to talk about it online but I'm just. having a very hard day with N because we experience our feelings in different ways #i isolate myself bc i struggle with regulating my reactions and tones when im having an episode but she needs me to talk through things and #i sometimes just. can't. bc I'm not done experiencing the negativity and am not in a place to have a productive convo bc shame spirals etc #we just spent a long time talking and being patient and i thought i was understanding and explaining myself well but i just. idk.#i don't know how to explain that of course i love her even if I'm isolating myself. of course i love her although I'm nonverbal today. i jus #t can't *make* myself talk when I'm like this i don't want to be nonverbal i don't want to isolate i don't want to be a distant partner i do #n't want to fall back into these patterns related to my grief i want to be better i am trying to be better i am working so fucking hard on #being better. i just feel so defeated bc this all spiraled from me not wanting to decide what to get for lunch n using a poor tone about it #I'm about to talk with her some more but I just. kinda don't want to exist right now. fuck dude. it feels so fucking awful when i upset her #like i love her so much she is so important to me and it breaks my heart that our entire day is shot bc i was tired and cranky #i just don't understand how that equates to me not loving her bc she is my whole world dude. I'm going to throw up #i also don't know how to explain to her that scrolling on tumblr is comfortable to me I'm not ignoring her it's just the SM that i scroll on #like we're hanging out watching tv together I'm gonna scroll a little bit. it's just not insta or anything #idk my mind is scrambled I'm crying I just want to be a better person who can calmly communicate my thoughts and emotions #today has just beat my fucking ass dude. i isolate so those feelings don't get translated into my interactions with others #i don't even know what i typed in these tags I just don't want to off myself or think about it I'm fighting myself so much 2day #rAMbles

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micamicster · 9 months

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I do mainly see writing as like a fun hobby i pursue when the impulse strikes me but i really do always want to improve! So because this is a blog im thinking about my writing goals for this current project:

Try to pull back and be more ambiguous when writing metaphors etc try not to state things so directly

Reduce the amount of like, buffer words, like she thinks or she feels. We’re in her pov we already know this is her thinking

Try to make my protagonist interesting without relying on her being funny (why didn’t I just write a funny protagonist?? what was I thinking!)

#while I can see the places my prose has improved since edge of seventeen im having a harder time seeing improvement since #so I’m trying to set goals for myself idk #like i do think that the load out was some of the best writing ive done in terms of craft. it was very unserious #not in a bad way! it was a ton of fun and I think it does what I set out to do really well! but it’s very much in my comfort zone #kids. music. humor. you know?#and I want to set goals that i can be conscious of while I’m writing and see if I can improve my prose that way #I think as of right now my writing-writing is sometimes awkward and often serviceable. and i want it to get… more subtle I guess #this is not fishing for compliments btw you do not have to reassure me that my writing is good or whatever #it’s just something I try to think about on my own #since I don’t have the time/seriousness to do a writing group or class or anything #anyway! stuff for me to work on!#while you were sleeping au

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toastsnaffler · 7 months

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i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐

#'impressed by how much u can talk abt this considering youve not played either game'#fuck off. as if im not just trying to show interest bc u + another friend are both into them + constantly talk abt them in our gc!!#i mean since u guys talk abt them all the time + theyre huge on tumblr like. it would be hard for me to not know anything abt them at all #literally what else can i talk to u guys abt anyway. i dont think there are any interests i personally have that they both gaf abt #if anything they actively dislike most of the things im hyperfixated on. or at least she does so like i cant bring that up can i.#all i did was share a post i saw on tumblr that i thought was funny. its not like i had some negative/controversial opinion #i just saw it and thought hey that makes me think of my friends bc they like those things maybe theyll find it funny too!!#dog sitting outside the door with rly big sad eyes offering them a stick i found in a puddle #i like listening to them talk and i will eventually play some of the games theyre into myself cuz they make them sound rly cool #and even if theyre not my kind of thing i like sharing interests with other ppl and sometimes thats enough for me to be able to enjoy it #i literally own some of them already but im just not in the mental space to start smth new right now. which i have SAID!!!!#why do u even care girl. as if u dont already have a ton of friends playing it that ur talking to abt it???? i wont have anything to add #and thats not gonna stop u from being able to talk to me abt it anyway????? like 2/3 of our conversations atm are abt bg3 #man. i know its not that deep but it makes me kinda sad for some reason. im just trying. i guess next time ill just let u guys talk-#to each other or at me and not comment or say anything so u can pretend im not here or whatever it is u want #ughh. she probably didnt even mean it like that and ill feel stupid for getting annoyed and delete this later but whatever.#might work out early today and then i can like draw or play a game or smth the rest of the day. alright lets go #.vent #listening to my silly little jfunk/jazz/soul playlist and i already feel over it. healing

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readymades2002 · 9 months

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speaking OF misericorde and misericorde spoilers btw

i have been thinking about these two exchanges since reading them for the first time. WHAT DID THEY MEAN BY THIS!!! i am absolutely unceasingly intrigued by eustace’s stumble there and what it could mean! my current leading thoughts which almost definitely don’t account for everything (eustace going from ‘in the [morning?]’ to ‘later’ is its own fun mystery to solve) are that either eustace is lying about needing to check for the book For Whatever Reason, OR that the superior knows things about the library that eustace doesn’t.

i am leaning towards the latter interpretation because i think that has some capital R Ramifications! at this point (one chapter in, mind you, so who knows what is yet to be revealed) i’m feeling positive that eustace and the superior are In Cahoots in a similar way as hedwig and the superior. i think that both of them having access to the relic room is notable and i think that in this context eustace telling hedwig not to snoop around the library while the superior knows things eustace doesn’t is soooo loaded. god i want to know whats going on there. eustace asserting boundaries to hedwig that she can not assert to the superior, the superior playing moves ahead, the superior invading eustace’s life and fragile peace the way she has invaded hedwig’s, catherine’s place in the library and how it factors into this, etc etc...

i also think that this is really worth noting what with medea showing up on hedwig’s bed. iirc a fair bit of catherine’s things ended up with eustace, and this copy of medea, if it was truly meant for hedwig (which i remember being suspicious of? it is very convenient that it showed up on her bed and she accepted it easily enough in her kind of desperate and romantic way that i am not quite taking it as fact), would reveal a connection between catherine and the alleged Only Woman Who Had No Connection To The Murder Victim that would shoot even more holes in the superior’s plan to have the single least qualified woman in the world to investigate a murder investigate a murder. i think that eustace likely had the means to get this play to hedwig, or to know where this play is in the library and be able to access it, and that it could be...hm. HM

i am puzzling this out as i go so sorry if its incoherent (big surprise) but i think that eustace being in cahoots with the superior makes her attempts to chase hedwig away very, very interesting. it feels like a warning and a threat at the same time. i think there’s a case you could make (a faulty case, almost definitely, but a case) that if eustace and the superior are collaborators, they could be involved in catherine’s murder, and they could be aware of hedwig’s connection to her, aware that the anchoress could have heard things from catherine’s pursuit of this Unnamed Conspiracy that she should not know, and could be acting to shut her up now? question mark? in the sense that eustace is being used as a weapon by the superior? i don’t think they murdered catherine (her having two different wounds stands out to me), but i think they could have definitely found her body and then arranged it in the striking way she was found. its like...its like what eustace was doing with the armor. creating an atmosphere to warn people off. though eustace as the superior’s tool warning hedwig (in a very similar situation. theoretically. if i am not fishing in the air) carries a feeling of “do not end up like me” that i think is cool

which is kind of the reason behind a lot of this, because only one chapter in i EXTREMELY doubt there’s even enough information to Solve the murder (we still don’t know SOOOOO much) but there is already enough being set up that i think this is perhaps not entirely an ungrounded thought process. maybe. perhaps. i just think that the idea of eustace being in hedwig’s situation is cool and i also think that someone being made to tamper with their friend’s murder scene to send a message against everything they wish because someone else has leverage on them is just. i think as a concept that it is compelling. to ME

also i’m not throwing my weight behind any of this because i am very foolish and i do not trust my ability to read mysteries all that much but i’m definitely having fun!!

#misericorde spoilers -#a little.#all of this also assumes a mundane explanation which is DOUBTFUL! i read umineko. ive seen supernatural explanations you couldnt imagine #idk it is a little difficult for me to theorize seriously either because a lot of what i have to rely on is hedwig's word #which i do not <3 #the Secret Scene implies that 83wig is leaving things out and to be honest 83wig is also doing this herself!#i am not very good at working with unreliable narrators who point out their unreliability unfortunately! im not very smart #im better at...metagaming in that way? the #'what does this mean? if it doesn't mean anything is it necessary? if it is necessary then what does it mean?' to steal a line from the game #puzzling through the narrator framework right now is beyond what i can do confidently but i CAN confidently see things repeat #and point at them and go 'oh fuck its repeating'. this chess book feels intentional!! this feels intentional to me!#everyone PLEASEEEEEE play misericorde and try to solve it with me PLEASE

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wickershells · 1 year

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Sigh. vent time u know the drill