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#imagine being in the “recovering from dating ivan” club
shakingparadigm · 15 days
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this is random but one of my favorite ALNST joke OCs is a girl who had a massive crush on Ivan and was able to date him for a little while because he felt bored enough to accept her. what follows is the most excruciating insanity inducing half-relationship in existence (they lasted 3 weeks before she gave up trying to understand him)
#her name is saya!! saya ng#she had the biggest crush on ivan and when she asked him out he said yes in the most casual way ever that she thought he was joking#the whole time they're “together” she's nervously looking away and blushing while ivan's eyes are trained on that gray haired boyfail there#whenever she'd ask to do couple things with him like hold hands or eat together he'd comply for a little while#but then he'd say something important came up and that he had to leave#she understood because of course! he's a top student surely hes busy no worries#he always seemed to have a wall up. smile never faltering but never fully genuine either#he always looked at her like he was seeing past her and not like he was looking at her person#he was a good and charming conversationalist but even though she got to spend more time with him#it never really felt like a “relationship”. more like two people roleplaying the actions of a relationship#because ivan was so closed off#she started noticing till more all because ivan kept noticing him#and she noticed how he seemed to change when he noticed till. like tills presence was enough to rewire his brain#she quickly realized she was nobody next to him and broke it off#anyways she got sent home because she wasn't good enough to graduate (she wasn't particularly good at anything)#she watched all her friends (dotori/acorn#round 3 and 4 kids)#die on screen#and when she's sent to a different singing competition she loses and dies#her name saya ng combines to make the word sayang#which in my language means: a waste#okay. this was supposed to be funny but now that im saying it#it low-key sounds kind of diabolical#by the way this idea is inspired by the Patreon info about ivan#(he CANONICALLY would accept anyones confession if he was bored enough. V and Q said that theyd tire of ivan being so closed and mysterious)#imagine being in the “recovering from dating ivan” club#alnst#random
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It All Changed For Him That Day
[[possible trigger warning??? I don't know, so just read at your own discretion I guess]] He stood outside of the entrance to the library, books in hand, staring, fixated, at the teen standing in the doorway to the chemistry lab across the yard. The man across the way had immediately captured his attention, and his heart. The stunning beauty, the pale complexity, the fluffy, almost white hair. It was in this moment that he knew his life had changed forever. This was going to be the first boy he'd ever killed. ---------- Alfred walked home, side-by-side with his twin brother. He gazed up at the sky, not hardly listening to anything his brother was saying. "Alfred, are you even listening?" Matthew asked, kicking his foot out to the side and almost tripping the other. "What's got you all moony-eyed, bro?" Alfred sighed wistfully. "Oh, dear brother of mine, I've fallen for someone." Matthew looked at him in shock. "Y-you don't mean..." he stumbled, disbelieving. "I do, Mattie. I think I've found the one!" he squeaked, looking to the other with his blue eyes practically shining in pent-up excitement. "Well, come on then! We've got to get home! There's so many things you need to tell me! So much to do, so much to do!" Matthew took his brother's sleeve in his fist, dragging him behind as they ran the last block to their shared apartment, books bouncing around in their bags. Matthew closed the door behind them and slung his book bag into the bedroom next to the door. He did the same to Alfred's, then ushered him into the small living area. "Come on, tell me about them," he pressed, curling up on one of the two cushiony nest chairs, practically pulling his brother down into the other one. "Well," Alfred started nervously, a dusting of red beginning to paint his cheeks, "It was a guy. He was tall, fairly well-built while still remaining slender enough to be almost feminine," he paused, "Kind of like a soccer player. But he had the palest skin, and the palest hair, like French royalty in the Elizabethan era, and he was leaving the chem lab which means he must be smart, too." Alfred swooned dramatically, almost tipping the chair over, then broke into laughter with Matthew. "Sounds like quite the dream," he commented once he calmed down a little, "But are you sure we'll be able to take him? He'll be our first actual person." Alfred waved his hand dismissively, "We've killed hookers before, this'll be no different." "Alfred, those girls were half starved, drugged off their asses, and thought they were goin' on a fuckin' vacation.  That hardly counts. This guy sounds to be in top condition. What if he overpowers us?" Matthew voiced his only concern, looking his brother over to make sure he knew what he was getting them both into. "Alright, alright," he compromised, putting his hands up, "What if we took out someone a little less drugged and starved than those girls, and a little less in-shape than him first. Then, in that time, I could maybe get to know this person a little better. Make it more personal." Matthew smiled, dark and sadistic. "Sounds like a plan to me." ------[cut about two weeks]----- "D'ya think we're ready yet, Mattie?" Alfred asked while working on his Russian finals essay. The weather was getting warmer, but there was still copious amounts of rain, which was what it was doing now. Silence, save for the constant patter of raindrops on the window, met his words. Finally, Matthew responded, drawing out his words carefully. "I think, that given the fact that the year will be ending soon, that yes, we should start preparing to pick this flower*. So, yeah, we're ready." "Then, we do it, finish this last year of school, then leave, right?" Alfred confirmed excitedly, rolling over on the floor so he could face his brother. "Right." "So, how're we gonna do it? Quickly, then toy with his corpse? Or play before he dies?" "It's your query; I will do whatever you see fit." Matthew smirked. "And, if I remember correctly, it was you who fell head-over-heels for him, am I right?" "And? At least I wasn't the one who almost drove us off of a bridge ogling at that French hitchhiker," he shot back teasingly. "Hey! He was great, and attractive, and funny, and almost killed us and dumped our bodies on the side of the highway! That's soul mate material right there, bro," Matthew defended himself and his current choice of a lover, "And he's good at fucking, unlike some people  I know." Alfred looked mockingly offended, putting his hand over his chest and gasping loudly. "How dare you insult my sexing abilities! I'll have you know that I am one-hundred-percent a good lay, through and through!" The two dissolved into loud, obnoxious laughter, letting it fall to fits of giggles before Alfred began speaking again. "So," he paused to giggle one last time, "if you are still sleeping with French-guy-who-ended-up-being-a-crazy-murderer, what if this guy ends up being some kind of crazy murderer too?" "You know, you're awfully imaginative, Al." ----------- Alfred checked through the black backpack for the sixth time since they'd gotten into the car, making sure that they didn't forget anything. "Alfred, we have everything. Quit being so jittery," Matthew chastised, then, softening his tone, "It'll be fine, Al." "I know, I know. I'm just so nervous! Excited, but god the butterflies are really getting to me," he whispered rapidly. Alfred fixed his shirt into place again, unable to sit still. The plan for the night was simple: Alfred and the flower, Ivan was his name, were to meet at one of the gay bars near campus. They were to talk, act like it was just any old date, and Alfred was going to drug the other's drink, offering his a ride. Just like any kind of date-rape, but with less rape and more homicide. The usual, really; nothing super out of place or unusual. They pulled up tp the club, the sidewalk in front of it bathed in the neon pink and green lights. Alfred scanned the few people outside, eyes quickly catching on the fair-skinned man he had completely and utterly fallen for. "Alright Mattie, here I go! Wish me luck!" he said, hopping out of the car and balancing on the edge of the curb. "Don't forget: midnight is your deadline. If you're not here I'm automatically assuming you've been caught and I'm tracking your phone. Keep it on you. Got it?" Matthew reaffirmed, waiting for the nod from his brother before driving off to pass the next couple hours. "Hey!" Alfred called, bouncing up to the other, "Ready?" -------- "Come on, we're goin' to my house, okay?" he almost whispered to the drugged man who he wwas supporting on his shoulder. The other mumbled something incomprehensible, then blacked out completely. "Ah, finally." "Come on, Al! I've got things to do, people to see!" Matthew beckoned, opening the passenger side door to their dark colored Chevy. Alfred stuck his tongue out, earning one in return, before settling the target into the backseat and jumping up to his spot in the front. "So, how'd it go?" his brother asked once they pulled out of the neon-lit parking lot. "Not as bad as I had thought it might, although I did have to fight off the urge to just fuck him there more than once." "Well, I'm glad you didn't," Matthew glanced into the back seat, "Because I agree that he's quite attractive. I think I might just join you in your play~" They laughed, and the car dissapeared into the darkness along the deserted highway. //Local Man's Body Found In The Woods! Local man Nikoli Braginski, 23, was filed as missing a month ago, and his mutilated body was found yesterday in the woods near Champaign exit of I-74. Authorities have discovered no leads as to what happened, although they suspect foul play. There have been traces of drugs and acidic materials recovered from the victim and the crime scene. Further details will be available as the story develops. ~*~*~*~ *'pick this flower'- their code for killing, since you cant just go around randomly talking about who youre gonna kill and expect to still get away with killing them (nikoli is the cameo son of ivan, fyi) *Also did you know that pure, fresh pinapple juice will dissolve meat? but it has to be fresh; canned wont have the same affect *also also that a rat/mouse 's body wont survive in mt dew long enough for it to make it to the consumer bc it will liquify? mt dew themselves used this (along with an experiment proving it) to prove that a lady was a liar when she sued them for finding a rat in her drink. fun, right? tbh this was way too much fun to write
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