If you're not caught up on the whole Fuyao Sect lore, that's fine because frankly, I'm not either.
Yan Zhengming as Sect Leader
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cheng qian: my dashixiong is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. what should i do?
li yun: punch him in the stomach. then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.
shuikeng: tackle him!
yzm's heart demon: dump him.
han yuan: kick him in the shin.
yan zhengming: NO TO ALL OF THOSE XIAO-QIAN JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN
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Yan Zhengming: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead.
Cheng Qian: Death is a social construct.
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Li Yun: It must be nice being rich instead of having to develop a likeable personality.
Yan Zhengming: Shut up.
Li Yun: Buy my silence.
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Li Yun: I have a solution.
Yan Zhengming: Thank goodness.
Li Yun: It involves fire.
Yan Zhengming: Absolutely not.
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Yan Zhengming: We both look really handsome tonight.
Cheng Qian: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you."
Yan Zhengming: I couldn't take that risk.
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Cheng Qian: Hey Niangniang, can you do something for me?
Yan Zhengming: I would literally cover up a murder for you, plant my DNA at the scene of the crime and take the blame.
Cheng Qian: Great. Can you do the dishes?
Yan Zhengming: No.
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Yan Zhengming: They call me coffee because I grind so fine.
Shuikeng: They call me coffee because I keep you up past 2 am.
Cheng Qian: They call me coffee because I'm really bitter, and most people don't like me without changing some aspect of what I am.
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Li Yun: You've been giving Cheng Qian a lot of attention lately.
Yan Zhengming: He was injured on a mission! Of course I'd give him attention.
Li Yun: ...I was injured in that mission too.
Yan Zhengming: Then you should go to a healer.
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After a thorough medical assessment, the doctors have described me as ‘a lot, just like a lot to deal with.'
Yan Zhengming
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Li Yun: [enters the room]
Yan Zhengming: This better be important. I'm busy with work.
Li Yun: Bees don't have lungs.
Yan Zhengming:....Tell me everything.
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Cheng Qian: While you were busy being heterosexual, I studied the blade.
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[a text conversation between Yan Zhengming and Li Yun]
Yan Zhengming: Answer me. I need to talk to you.
Li Yun: Okay, just give me a minute to find my phone.
Yan Zhengming: Okay.
[five minutes later]
Yan Zhengming: You're a terrible martial brother. You're killing me, you know. You're killing your elder brother.
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Cheng Qian: I hope you have a good explanation for this.
Li Yun: We have three actually.
Han Yuan: Pick your favourite.
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Yan Zhengming: [looking at Cheng Qian] He’s so handsome…
Zheshi, panicking: There’s no need to be jealous, you’re handsome too!
Yan Zhengming: I’m not jealous, Zheshi, I’m gay.
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Cheng Qian: I wasn't injured. I was lightly stabbed.
Yan Zhengming: I'm sorry, you were stabbed?!
Cheng Qian: Lightly stabbed. I didn't want to frighten you.
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