#it probably means something but idk what and i dont care

[zzarihoe]

u kno the…tfw ur….delivery boy gets knocked out in a fight…and no one except for tang but come on is there 2 help….and u..change into…..a big boar demon ….to protect him…when u didnt even kno u could do that...u kno, that feeling?

Bonus:

#i knew i wanted to make an au and I guess . this is. this is what i got. #LOL #and i have an idea of how tang nearly fucked up pigsy’s health inspection LKHGLKJHSKJHG #but that’s probably for another time yeehaw #also in this au tang gets cooler powers too #perhaps. ….cicada form ? HMMM? #idk i just wanted to draw….pigsy but . heh. big . #anyway my first actual post on my art blog can u believe it #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk pigsy #lmk tang #lmk mk #i mean. he is there. LOL #lego monkie kid pigsy #lego monkie kid tang #lego monkie kid mk #demon boar au #? or fucking something lmao #I’m posting this at midnight because i dont care about myself

[sleepy-crypt1d]

I had seen people talking about how TSPUD would be lost on youtubers and streamers and I hadn’t really believed that. Until now, and like, yeah, they all keep failing at one specific point and it’s. .disappointing? 

I understand not everyone is going to enjoy games and play games exactly like I do, thinking that would be stupid of me, and I know that. Usually I don’t care how other people play games, it’s whatever, let them vibe and enjoy something their own way, if it annoys me I just won’t watch it. I love seeing people experience my favorite games for the first time! I absolutely love seeing people begin to love the thing that I do! 

But seeing the way that certain youtubers and streamers play through The Skip Button ending makes me want to rip my hair out. It’s not supposed to be a quick ending! You’re supposed to sit through all of the Narrator’s dialogue!! That’s the entire point of the ending. I have seen so many people either jokingly or genuinely get annoyed because ‘oh my god, he does talk a lot’ so they spam press the button to get to the end and it’s like, do you, do you not understand the point? Do you not get it? 

The Skip Button Ending isn’t about getting to the end to see how much time you can skip, or to find a way out, it’s not even supposed to have an objective to it. It’s to watch the Narrator, Nate as I call him, fall deeper and deeper into his own creation. Another user had pointed this out, TSBE is used to show that you are powerless to save him, there is nothing you can do, once he made the skip button, you were lost to his creation just as much as he was. You are forced to kill him, to cause him to lose his mind, to make him fall into the never-ending spiral of self-doubt and control one’s creation can have over their entire life. 

That ending means something, that ending is supposed to make you stop and consider the consequences of what you’re doing, it’s the same premise of the real person ending and the zending, you are forced to hurt Nate to keep the story going, and it’s supposed to hurt you as well, but they don’t grasp that? I guess? They skip through all his dialogue, missing the point he makes about how games aren’t supposed to be funny or have a point, they can just exist and that’s okay. Games don’t need to appeal to everyone, they don’t need to be perfect, they aren’t sacred or Devine works of art. 

They are meant to be enjoyed by people who will enjoy them. 

Not every ending needs to have some bigger meaning to it, some are just you jumping off a landing and being call powerful, some are just a long winded story about a bucket, some are long critics about video game development and the culture around whether or not you’re enjoying something in the ‘right way’, and sometimes, they’re just an ending. But this one is something. It’s critiquing exactly what they’re doing, which is skipping over important thoughts and ideas because it wasn’t funny or entertaining, they skip over it because it wasn’t what they wanted which is EXACTLY THE POINT THE GAME IS MAKING - TO NOT DO THAT BECAUSE YOU WILL LOSE OUT ON WHAT THE GAME IS. And they will never know that, because once you skip the dialogue, it’s over. You get that ending once and then never again.  

Another thing that really irritates me is that, 1. people in the comments also won’t know and 2. now the epilogue will be lost on you. If you skip Nate’s spiral in TSBE then when you eventually do everything else and get to the epilogue, it won’t hit the same way. Part of what made the epilogue almost make me start sobbing was because you realize, you were there, you watched as Nate fell to his own work, YOU were the one who pressed the button that killed him, YOU were the one that led to the office building crumbling and leaving nothing but you and endless desert because the creator was gone, and you killed him. And once you get back to the office building, the two doors are shut, you can no longer make a decision, because you already made it when you pressed the button. 

Almost all of this is lost to the youtubers and streamers who skip his dialogue because they’re doing it for a bit, they want to see how it ends, they are genuinely annoyed Nate is talking so much, they’re doing it for chat, they want to cut time so they don’t have to edit as long. All they’re doing is losing themselves the coolest ending in the entire game. 

And this is just what I think based on the game! This isn’t even getting into my annoyance of people seeing Nate as just the game’s narrator and not his own separate character with thoughts, feelings, and character development. But that’s for another post, this one is getting long enough. 

TLDR; streamers and youtubers skipping over the meaning in The Skip Button Ending and what it says about both them and the game industry annoys me to the point of where I cannot watch people play this game. The Skip Button Ending isn’t about the destination, it’s about how you got there. 

#tspud spoilers #sleepy rambles #tspud #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #wha oh sleepy's upset #i just :(( #this is my favorite ending!! and what it says is so fucking important!! and now two of my favorite content creators have entirely skipped it #just without a care in the world #and im just sat there really really disappointed because i wanted to know what their thoughts were #and idk i'm probably just reaching here but seeing them skip through SO MUCH of his dialogue in that ending makes me feel like they dont? #care about that ending? #they're doing it for content #not for enjoyment #and that sucks :(( #and when i say that they skip his dialogue i mean he says ONE WORD and they press the button #like one didn't even notice the door was missing #who knows maybe this is all just whiny of me but it's something i noticed that annoyed me #maybe some people agree with me idk #wanna know people's thoughts

[infizero]

why is everyone so negative and mean all the time. what happened to the love in your hearts

#idk. its just frustrating to me how i feel like i constantly see people shitting on stuff #rather than talking about stuff they actually like. like thats just not how i function #if i watch something thats like kinda mid i'll almost always focus on the things i liked #like its not a toxic posivity thing i think people should be allowed to talk about things they dont like #but idk. i just dont think like that #like for example sonic prime. did i think it was good? no lol #but i dont waste my time trashing on it?? i commented on what i liked as i watched it #and then i just kind of ignore it now lol. thats how i tend to work lol #and im def not gonna shit on someone ELSE for. liking something??? #like unless its super problematic or something and even then i probably wont rlly care #ill just ignore or block those ppl. idk it just seems. needlessly mean #like what is the point of me going lol that thing some ppl like is stupid and bad #thats like just being an asshole for no reason 😭😭 idk idk its just something i see a lot #serena.txt #this isnt targeted to anyone btw just something ive been thinking about recently

[0809sysblings]

idk why I'm posting this here but it's fine because I can do whatever I want. sorry I think I'm having an enneagram type 1 moment. it's not mental illness, it's because of my enneagram type! can't help being a Gemini Enneagram Type 1

also I keep using the amulet's powers so I've been being hit with the after effects. such power deranges a man /ref

#milgran't #type 1 momence #btw as a prefacw this is not directed at anyone here. this is just. a thing. that is everywhere. #ok. anyway. #the....... Exotification of DID/OSDD-1... is always so annoying. #and like. i get it. i understand. its probably a difficult thing for many ppl to actually comprehend as a real human experience #which brings me to the main point of this Pussy-Rant (ranting in tags bc im a pussy) #i think. the main reasom its So Exotified. is. '''''''MPD'''''''' #serioisky that name has done. so much fucking damage its insane. absolute wack shit #anyway yeah. like. the concept of it being Multiple People In One Body/Brain... when like... that's.. not really whats going on.. #like if youre a system and that's how you understand your system to be. then power to you. i dont care do literally whatever #its just. i think CDDs would be a LOT easier for people to understand if-- #--it was not looked at as the Multiple People Disorder. but instead as the Fucking Extreme Compartmentalization Disorder #idk its just annoying seein ppl (who are probably very well meaning!) talk about the disorder i experience as if its bizarre and fantastical #~look wooooowwww this is something that can happen to the brain due to The Most Unreal And Most Traumatic Events!! crazy right?~ #i am going to get the Evil Alter out here so he can beat you to death. #like yeah its fucking. sad and fucked up what has to happen to develop a CDD. and that should be acknowledged. #and many systems Have had to go through experiences that a lot of ppl can only fathom as being able to happen in fiction. #but.... its just so isolating and makes me feel Capital C Crazy 🥴 #dear lord ive just been so irritable and frustrated lately... obligatory apologies. #ah. i think i suddenly figured out why this in particular triggers me so much. #god damn it it's always the fucking trauma huh! #<- spent basically all of elementary school and middle school feeling like there was a giant sign over my head that said-- #--''this poor soul went through something so tragic! how awful to think that something that serious could happen to just a little kid!'' #its the ''hey can you stop treating me as something helpless that needs to be fixed and just treat me like A Fucking Person'' feelings #but see this disorder is just so beautiful because in a week i may be wanting ppl to see me as a suffering freak who needs to be fixed #or hell even fucking tomorrow. who knows not me #.. ok im actually genuinely afraid talkimg about this is going to lead to her gettinf triggered out KDJSNKDJSNJD so im gonna. stop.

[kohakhearts]

i feel like yeah i mean, gary is essentially a palaeontologist, but he has this like, Thing established early in the narrative about Bonds between pokemon and humans - emphasized in his eevee evolving into umbreon, of course, but this part of his character is…interesting, because we’re given hints that kind of go against the idea that in the indigo league he’s not as emotionally attached to his pokemon as, say, ash (a nod to his character inspiration in blue, obviously, who professor oak says can’t win because he doesnt love his pokemon enough or whatever. similarly in the anime prof oak is the one to point out the difference in ash’s and gary’s styles of raising pokemon, that ash values friendship and gary values strategy, which……..aren’t really mutually exclusive and ash shows us this too but whatever. my point is gary has lines and actions prior to that exchange that are kinda contrary to what prof oak says there). anyway i just woke up from a pretty intense nap to say that i think we all should lean into gary being more anthropological in his pokemon research compared to goh in particular who is a lot more scientific and whose character arc kinda functions around learning to accept that humans and pokemon can and do have mutually beneficial relationships, something he rejected initially under the assumption that pokemon can’t learn to help themselves if humans are always rushing in to do the hard stuff for them. like in a way they have a common goal of research yes but i think this is an interesting disconnect that would be fun to explore because its a big area of potential conflict that the anime doesnt show us because they have so many OTHER conflicts that make them good foils to each other And by the time they meet this isnt something goh is grappling with nearly as much as he was in the beginning. but i feel like later in his life it’s something he believed so deeply for so long maybe it could affect his research. i dont know how to coherently put this into words - that nap really drained my brain power, which was already low anyway - but i am so interested in the idea that a cold, detached view of science is antithetical to the study of it. and like who better to prove that to you then the guy who pisses you off so bad you stop being cold and detached about things without even realizing it

#taylor.txt #does this make sense? probably not #sorry i just feel ljke. ash and the ivysaur was a classic ash moment obviously but did gary not have that same dynamic with the shieldon #narratively it seems this is something gary had to Learn and didnt just Do like ash did but i think indigo league gary cared more than the #anime wants us to think. maybe he wouldnt have done it for wild pokemon but surely for his own? #maybe i just wish gary had come around earlier than he did because it wouldve made for an interesting dynamic with mr my first pokemons #gonna be mew compared to a more adjusted goh with more realistic expectations about what it means to raise pokemon #im not explaining this well i dont even know what the point is. I JUST THINK THERES SOMETHING HERE IDK WHAT #taylor watches anipoke

[hassianlovebot]

ik there's a lot of debate about how palia is mixing heavy lore into what's supposed to be a relaxing, coxy life sim but also like,,, i feel like the way they're doing it now is literally fine?

the lore is definitely part of the world and the quests, but there's literally no in game timer or consequences. nothing bad happens if a player doesn't want to complete the temple bundles or skips lore dialogue or puts certain quests on the back burner (and you can choose to not see certain quests on the main ui so there's no stress there either). like,, i get that the lore Is heavy and that some people don't want that in their cute farming sim but again, there's literally nothing forcing players to interact with or care about it. i genuinely do not see the issue??

#like?? im not trying to be mean #if anyone has insight on this and could explain Why its such a big deal thatd be nice! #but i really just dont get it? #like who cares if the cozy life sim game has a dark lore when you arent forced to care about it at all #completing the temples literally just gives you some resources and rewards #there's zero consequences for not finishing the lore quests or the temples #and like maybe im wrong but i seriously doubt the devs are going to add monster fighting mechanics in the future #like Maybe but i really doubt it #and even if they do its probably just going to be like hunting? #idk man like i keep seeing discourse about the lore being too much for the game and its like.. #you dont have to care? youre not forced to interact with it? there is zero consequence if all you do is farm and fish? #so whyyy are people upset or worried about the future state of the game?? #if they meant it to be an intense gory action fighting horror game then it wouldve been like that from the start #like im sorry but theyre not going to add something like that to a game theyve always marketed as a cozy life sim/mmo 😭 #if theres a high demand for it maybe theyll make a second game or create content like a fucking webtoon aldhg #but theyre most likely not going to introduce it to the core game #like i feel like this fear is really unfounded? the devs havent said anything about changing the tone of the game? #theyve always stated that no matter what happens with the lore they want the game to be a safe and comforting space for players #so Why would they add gore or horror or force players to interact with the lore #what!!

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#uuuuummmmmm hypomania? bitch what? like huh? huh????????? #fucking hello???? like that's fucking like clearing whats happening at this moment #like i mean. im still grounded but like high energy. notably elevated mood. deminished need for sleep. im like fucking on right now #and but like i really really should not b. like hello? #but like its weird bc like what does that mean? like it happens every so often like too much energy that feels unhinged #but like it doesnt really affect my life too much it just feels kinda wild and upsetting to me bc its like not in control #but like i mean right now this is notable with respect to what i normally experience. like energy higher and mood higher than normal #like its midnight and im not even a little tired after having a fucking week like what??? #not looking forward to when this breaks and i crash. but like whats the pattern her? how long has this been happening? #im gonna have to start tracking my mood bc idk i feel like im noticing it more now. like i dont remember this happening always cyclically #and like in the past it usually lasts like a day or ill have a few days where im like high energy but also fried and kinda up and down #but like im not going like full on way way high for long periods of time. but its hard to tell bc i have so much emotional dissonance #like ill have this like frantic energy while im standing completely still and i wanna grin in an unhinged way but its black static down #thr middle. so its like am i happy? and i depressed? fucking idk. im usually mostly depressed i think as a product of being so anxious all #the time. i don't usually go super low out of nowhere. i mean. i think its more linked to hormore stuff but i also think this is as well #idk its weird just. thoughts. i should start tracking my mood and ya kno also probably talk to a doctor #but like im about to lose my parents health care as i turn 26 and also fucking atrocious executive function #issues. like. it feels like my brain has holes in it. or i heard my lab mate say she was worried she had a brain tumor #bc its just like. something is not functional in the way its supposrd to be. ya kno? but like its fine #i mean. its not fine but like its fine #sigh. god im gonna forget to track this shit. like im already like my braun is disintegrating in my skull #can i pls be exused from being an adult while i have some sort of episode lol. but like idk #itll b fine. ive got a level head and an analytical brain and big control issues so i can keep myself on the rails #dispite the trashfire haha. ugh wtf do i do tonight tho. lay here abd try to sleep i guess #hope the mood stays up tomorrow so i dont like collapse into a puddle #ay ay ay. interesting. very interesting #im like a commit pinging around. a pinball bounding of those little pin thingys. ill meet with my boss Tuesday like yooooooo #idk if u havent clearly noticed but ive been a bit ya kno emotionally #unstable ✌️ or maybe ill b back to my normal sad sack self by then lol. idk weird vibes. real weird vibes but good 4 now #unrelated

[honey-mice]

(preface that i havent read the book so sue me or something) i dont even know if its justified cause i havent seen the movie in years (and i saw it maaaybe twice) but i fucking absolutely hatethe tim burton charlie and the chocolate factory so much. the original movie is the fucking best i love it so goddamn much. the musical (preferably the broadway ver)? amazing love it so goddamn much. the fucking stupid ass tim burton movie having that stupid ass conflict with wonka where his dad sucks or whatever is fucking dumb and it takes away from the message of the story. yea willy wonka isnt supposed to be perfect but like making charlie not want to come to the factory cause he doesnt want to let his parents in and theres a whole dentist toothpaste thing is fucking STUPIDDD like why would you make willy wonka this immature shithead who is like "hey boy come work with me but leave your dumb parents behind cause we have candy isnt that awesome" like HUH willy wonka is supposed to be weird but not A FUCKING CREEP and ik im like "hes not supposed to be a creep" and its literally directed by tim burton but like who fucking cares tim burton made a shit willy wonka thats not my fault. the fuckin musical where willy wonka disguises himself as the candy store dude and in that way learns more about charlie and his love for the chocolate factory is AWESOME thats actually adding something to the base story thats a good fucking idea cause it just expands on charlies character by showing his inherent caringness and imagination he is the best charlie imo and like building an actual relationship with wonka and charlie is perfect like it just shows whats to come. the original movie having charlie just be a good fit cause hes kind deep down and thats literally it is fucking great as well cause like thats just literally part of the message of the fucking story i guess charlie is good in the tim burton one but they spent so much time making me fucking hate wonka that i dont even remember cause all i can think about is that stupid fucking backstory where like his house disappears or something shit cause his dad is like how dare you want to consume sugar child im supposed to be abusive ig?? but in the most stupid ass way and in turn it makes wonkas trauma I GUESS?? fucking dumb and annoying at best

#words from the hive #im sick and tired rn so like i just wanted to go on a rant to feel something #im also watching the game grumps play the charlie and the chocolate factory game thats based on the tim burton movie #and i clicked on it knowing i was gonna think about how that movie is absolute shit #if you like the movie just pls dont say anything cause i could not care less if you do #most of my hate is probably just cause i have like a gazillion amounts of nostalgia for the original movie #but i mean i also think there are objectively bad parts about it so idk #anyway what the fuck ever this is over

[sanstropfremir]

the thing that gets me about the gfriend nazi debacle is that it was gfriend??? of all the groups?? like there are plenty of other groups with expansive histories of blackface, slurs, general racism or something so its something youd expect as a next step for a group thats already shown this kind of behavior. gfriend had z e r o history of anything. not even a cultural appropriation scandal. that and its gfriend? i can only equate it to iu making fun of some huge genocidal event, like its iu?? like that one came out of butfuck nowhere? no one would predict that on their 2020 bingo card

i knew nothing about gfriend before so it wasn't really a surprise in that way for me? like it was a surprise bc it's always a surprise when someone has a fucking nazi scandal, but i had no context for the group so it didn't really make that kind of impact on me.

#idk from what i've seen girls are just as likely to be pulling that edgelord shit but in private #they just deflect with 'oh but i didnt mean it ~~~ (doe eyes)' which is exactly what happened with gfriend sooooooooooooooo #so idk it's not that big of a leap for me to see a goody two shoes gg get caught out for it #idk a lot of stuff has changed since i was in school and now n*zis are like a real problem again which i did NOT expect to happen #so ppl probably have different viewpoints than me and i don't blame ppl for being blindsided by something like this #bc with celebrities it isnt something you can predict bc you don't know them #text #answers #to be honest i dont even want to tag this with the group bc i just dont care enough

[im-traumatised]

Fuck the depressions getting really bad. Can't even find the effort to go to the grocery store. It's literally the only thing that gets me out the house and now I just can't be fucked with even that. But also I mean who cares? I've kinda stopped giving a shit about my health.

#it's not good tbh #my psyc will come back from leave soon and she's probably gonna be concerned lmao #but also who really caresM #not like im gonna need to drag myself out to meet with friends lmao #not like family are gonna wanna swing by my house and chill #not like I'm gonna have an event or a party or an outing or a get together #nobodys gonna notice nobody will care and I csnt be fucked caring any more #every time i look forward or hope or dream in my life its fucked me over in the end lmao #so im done imma just let myself slowly evaporate away in my stupid apartment #nobody will notice unless I tell them lmao #i dont have any reason to get out of bed or leave the house or take care of myself so why bother honestly #im really wondering why i should bother djjdj #gonna have to really talk to my psycologist about it all i guess #but im not really a fan of her idea to find a group to engage in the community like finding friends is something i want yes #but i just hate those kinds of things idk #almost our of psychologist appointments too probably only have a few left #im tired i got my freedom but im miserable because of jt lmao #is this what I get for getting away from my family? i mean its for sure whaf happens when you grow up isolated without the chance to #make long term friends lmao #i dont even know what im saying any more i think im having a bit of a break down hffhf so im gonna shut myself up now #AceofDragons #vent

[snekdood]

ppl who only care about the aesthetics of things do kinda drive me crazy a bit

#i JUST want native wild flowers. ok? #idgaf if perennials dont bloom all year i dont care if theyre not always colorful i love green as a color too AND THATS NOT THE POINT OF #ME GETTING FLOWERS ANYWAYS! i want native flowers for the native pollinators and probably other native plants for birds n shit #but all i can find at plant places is stuff thats like. the same species but not native #its just so stupid its not sold as a default like they literally grow here. they literally THRIVE here #and it feels like everyone im talking to irl about flowers only cares about whatever looks good like plz cmon plz i beg of you #fellow humans please. oh my fuck. give a fuck about something soon bc the worst thing to be is the guy at the end of the world who knows #its ending but is smiling while its on fire bc you gave up hope and indulged in the things that are pleasing to you instead of just getting #th fucking native lobelia species jsdsdkds #like idk about you but i at least want my soul to fucking rest easy knowing i did the best i could instead of giving so much about #aesthetics that it overrides my ability to make a idk perhaps more moral decision. ik flowers arent the most pressing issue but native #species dying is. and if you're already getting flowers theres literally no reason not to just get the native version of whatever #sometimes its hard for me to want to just 'let people enjoy things' when enjoying things means putting your time/effort/energy/money/etc. #into shit you very easily could have picked something more ethical or better for the world w. #it just feels like everything is dying around me and i dont know how to stop it so i want to do my best to help whats dying where i am to #try to keep it alive and it just feels like other people around me dont have that as a priority at all and its infuriating. #i genuinely get pretty emotional when i think about native species dying and how everything in temperate climates is being overtaken by #european or japanese species instead. probably more but those are the two i see the most. when we have plenty of nagive species here #like the same thing just native but idk maybe it doesnt have enough eurocentric features 🤪 sjsjsksjsjsks

[iwantyoursexmp3]

instagram recommending me a reel for a peach frosé recipe what the fuck literally most felixcore cocktail of all time. literally just frozen peaches and rosé blended together. me when i said i'd be productive but now i'm falling down a peach flavoured cocktail rabbit hole

#this is good actually bc whenever i need to write cocktails (which is basically my alcoholic drink of choice in stories LOL theyre more fun) #i look up what was popular in the 80s and some of them have such weird names #like no im not writing about felix drinking a Fuzzy Navel even if it does have peach liqueur in it #or a Buttery Nipple #felix's favourite cocktails are sex on the beach and kamikaze btw. if you care. #googling cocktails is SOOOO fun i just think its a much more fun way for specificity and tastes if ur characters are drinking #anyway this is good because i can have more cocktail options besides fucking Buttery Nipple and Woo Woo #you didnt hear it from me but this will be useful for my Lover Boy Era Felix project #aka felix was a pov character in lover boy but then i cut that out but i still have all the plotlines and arcs #that i was gonna write but wouldnt work from beau's pov #so i gotta write something for lover boy felix. idk what yet. but its like the lover boy scraps if you will! #maybe i'll centre it around different peach flavoured cocktails because hes sooo silly and whimsical in the lb era #sorry alcohol in fiction is sooooo fun like #in real life im more of a drinks every few months and gets really silly with it when i do #but in fiction its just SOOOO much more fun idk how to explain it. writing alcohol and being drunk feels like doing it for the first time #obviously always promoting being responsible w drinking wrt to what i share but #i just love making my characters get silly #i love seeing how they behave when their brain is not working. intoxication is sooo fun as a means to challenge characterisation #felix and dorothy in the beginning of RR trying to figure out how to be Friends as adults and realising they can just get drunk together #like yeah dont do that in the long term probably but who cares you're 21 and it helps the plot get silly with your twin #dorothy's like i can excuse when my brother drinks himself into oblivion because it makes him fun and makes him want to break into the #bitchy neighbours apartment with me (real rr scene btw) #but i draw the line at him doing cocaine #me when i infodump in the tags to the point where its not even about the original post

[jonny-b-meowborn]

Btw that lil meltdown I had a while ago, the one about not having any safe spaces, was caused because I was thinking about pet regression. Like, today's stress made me feel more dog like. And I was wondering, if the things I feel classify as pet regression, and if not, if I could be able to achieve that if I like, just fully allowed myself to lean into that. And then I was like, yeah but I don't have any opportunities to try because i never feel fully safe and comfortable enough. So yeah once again everything is about me being a dog

#like idk i gotta do more research into pet regression #i wanna know more about how it feels #i dont think i really do that? i mean partially yes #but i feel like i would go more into that if i could #i wish i had a space to safely try just. going full puppy mode and see how it makes me feel #and you know what i wish i had people around me that let me do it #like. for a while treat me more like a dog than a person #it honestly fucks me up so bad to think that i probably wont find a partner that is okay with that #at least not for a long time #and i mean yeah i guess stuff like pet kink isnt that uncommon but i dont mean it like that #maybe a lil bit lmao #but mostly i mean. i want pets and cuddles and treats #and i want someone to take care of me and keep me safe the way youd keep your dog safe #and i dont want a partner that treats it only as kink. i want to be taken seriously with this #honestly just now realized that it's kinda similar to flowers of robert Mapplethorpe by patty taxxon #if i understand the album right #like its pretty much about the same feeling. wanting to get something from a partner but them treating it only like kink and not seriously #tho in her case it was more about dad stuff which. not my thing #but i think that i getthe album better now #i hope that someday ill find a place and a person that allows me to be myself. even if sometimes myself is a dog #therian #bee buzz

[mrfoox]

People slowly treating me differently like... I am guessing its something going on with you but my brain says I've done something /:

#miranda talking shit #I cant ask about it either bc like...they probably dont know theyre doing it but... Yeah #Me everytime there's some sort of change in a relationship: what changed??? #One could see it as a positive thing bc they are more interested in what i think and what i feel but im like... Bruh i want to hear about u #My problem socially still to this day is that i omly want to hear about the other person unless we have an common topic/subject #Ill sit and happily listen to an hour rant about whatever the fuck but then someone asks me how my day was im like uh... Good... I did... #Things... Um.... The downside to never talking about yourself your entire life. You are so uninteresting lmao #I have always had the mindset that no one cares about my opinion or what to hear about me so i never share anything unprovoked #Unless im excited or something. I feel unnatural talking about myself like... Um... Idk haha... #Oliver the last few weeks: what avout you? What do you think? What? #Previously he'd talk and complain about anything and i just listened so now im like woah me? What do you mean me? Aw shit we are going to #Be mored now im sorry....