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dariaslore · 4 years

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Cherry

Hi, I'm Daria, nice to meet you! I'm new on Tumblr and this is not my first fic, but it's the first one that I post on Tumblr. It's about two characters from Winx Club that I've always shipped together, and yes, I'm talking about Griffin and Valtor. It's been a while since I wrote something and I was a bit insecure about my English, because it's not my first language, but reading some really good stuff from some really good writers did inspire me a lot, so here I am! The story takes place when Valtor and Griffin were working side by side for Three Ancient Witches and the narrator is Griffin herself. It's not that long, but I hope you enjoy it!

...

I have always loved cherries. You admire the blood-red peel, turn it over and over in your hands. You're longing, trembling, burning inside to take just one bite. You do it, you sink your teeth into the fine pulp, you lose contact with reality. Ecstasy, joy, enchantment, paradise are all condensed in a small sphere. You let the juice stain your lips. Swirling notes of joy start dancing in your mouth.

They kidnapped you, an enveloping passion. You bit the cherry and now it's ruined forever, corrupted by your greed. You no longer just want to taste it, you want to have it just for you, to continue to experience that feeling forever. A pleasure turns into sin, and you keep on sinning. Lust, evil, madness, pride. You drown in a vicious circle, you seek the pleasure of before, a dream that is taking the place of reality. Reality screams, wants to stop you before everything is lost. You run away, cry desperate, feeding on fantasies, yet another miserable bite of that red pulp.

You fall apart. Cherries will be the death of you.

Put your red dress on. Eyeliner. High heels. Mascara about to melt. You're ready: three, two, one, it's showtime.

You are no longer human, you are art, a model. You imitate life, you pose. A simple high-class woman who sips champagne, or at least they believe it. You greet, laugh without realizing it.

You are not really there, but occupy the scene, part of that hypocrisy, a symphony about to clash. You see every single crack, a piece of old silverware to polish. It's all foggy, you wonder how they do not understand their reality. They only see the right, they talk to each other without really knowing themselves, nobody tries to understand the other: they only see the beauty, that's what still keeps them there. It is called wealth, opulence, the illusion that this is heaven on earth. You know it, it's just the antechamber of hell.

They are all fighting each other, they want to emerge, be the richest, the most beautiful, the strongest ... Fools. They annihilate each others, alcohol becomes their medicine, the nectar of them, the gods of the world. Isn't that what they are? They are gods, monsters disguised as gods, mirrors of absolute perfection, so unreal. Without a soul. Fame, money, success their anthem and their death.

Who are you? Why are you there? What are you looking for in those diamonds? Are you by any chance one of them?

'' Thoughtful, dear little witch? ''

'' First, stop popping out of nowhere, you creep me, second get your hands off my waist , Val. You're annoying. ''

'' Annoying? That's not what you thought last night ... ''

You feel his lips running the length of your neck, they migle with your skin in a spiral of passion. They are languid silk.

'' Come on, please it's not the right time! Hahaha, stop it! '' You whisper with pleasure painted on the face. He keeps making his way on your body and suddenly his hands are wrapped around you.

'' Come on Griff, what's wrong with a little bit of love, let's not worry about the chatter of others. Let us love. ''

'' You 're getting on my nerves, you are stressful and I am not in the mood for lovey-dovey. Let's think about something more relevant like the raid on Solaria tomorrow morning ning, I still don't have the slightest idea of how to deceive that damn king. Not because he's smart, but that councilor ... Uff, what a cold fish! No vices, weaknesses, nothing at all ... ''

'' Another serious thing to think about is why you wore this dress. You are splendid Griffin. ''

He gently caresses each letter of your name with a languid tone and a slight snap of the tongue on the letter 'n'. Your eardrums leap, you are in the palm of your nose. You can't let him win, you don't want to, but he knows it well and already smiles at you. You attack.

'' I don't understand how other witches find you so irresistible. "

"Maybe they are not afraid to show it and follow their heart."

"Ahahah, I'm pretty sure they're in love with the way you are, not just the way look!" you say with a grin full of sarcasm.

"Do you admit that I'm attractive then?"

He says with a bright smile. You bring your lips close to its lobe, you stroke each curve with your tongue. You feel the air become dense with electricity, your bodies will resume their connection very soon as your skin dance on each other's. Your tongue retracts when you already hear him moan.

"You are terribly stupid, Val."

You wrap the paper cylinder between your slender fingers, lean on the counter and pretend nothing happened. He squints, his pallor leaves room for a vague strawberry red. You wait quietly for a tender lament.

'' Must it always be this way ?! Can't you just ask me for one? ''

"It's not the same thing."

'' Isn't there the taste of stealing it from me on the most beautiful and tormenting me? ''

'' Oh well that's obvious, my life is to bother you. "

"And you're damned gorgeous when you do it."

You snort and roll your eyes, count to ten, resist another murderous urge and inhale three times. You look at yourself in the club mirror. You don't go unnoticed, the two of you seem to be right out of one of those glossy magazines in beauty salons. Your hair is blow-dry, it falls smooth and regular on a purple-red silk dress that outlines your figure in all the right centimeters. He is statuesque, chiseled in every detail, white shirt without a crease, well-combed low ponytail and shiny shoes. He wears gloves, the only inches of skin visible as always are those of his face. Only you know what is hidden under his silk gloves, a change ready to destroy or improve the world by the power of its flames.

And he knows what you are hiding in your golden irises, he says it is his daily nourishment, the source of his power. You don't believe it, he's always been good at words ... Like you.

"Valtor, can you see this cigarette? Exactly half- smoked, the last three drags before the final one. They are the best, aren't they? You try to enjoy them deeply, you know that it will soon be over. I love this feeling, the adrenaline of something incomplete I hate the beginnings, I hate the endings: they are static I want to jump off a moving train and stop at the same moment before landing, do you understand? I want the doubt of success, of not knowing. I know, when I smoke I tend to talk a lot and say meaningless things, try to ignore me. ''

He watches you drown in a suffocating cloud of nicotine. You notice his gaze darkening, saturated with sadness. There is no trace of the confident man as before, his darkness has been stripped naked by the silk robes and a high-fashion tuxedo is not enough to cover it. You still wonder how his eyes can be so full of emotion.

Slabs of ice, a wall erected to keep in check its inner fire that reels trying to rise to the surface. It is small, but full of warmth, it clings desperately to tiny cracks, like a castaway looking for a landing. It escapes, wiggles, tries to survive in an ocean of darkness that grows and slams it from side to side with its waves. So his irises come to life, the sparks overflow, rattle and cry for help, the ice warms up and paints two watery streams on the white skin.

'' You are not like them, Griffin. I envy you."

'' How did you manage to ... ''

'' I know the feeling. ''

He caresses your cheek and walks away.

Darkness has regained the upper hand by dragging the flames down into its depths. It all quiets down and the ice hardens.

Here he is again, the handsome and damned blond-haired, ready to bend the world to his will.

He is your cherry.

#winx #valtor #winx griffin #fandom #fanfic #winx club

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quiltwork · 4 years

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But to go on a weird tangent; That voices book reminds me a whole lot of internal family systems therapy.. WHICH REMINDS ME OF MY (Old??) PARTS I HAD when I was a kid/teen. That I OFTEN ASSOCIATE WITH KINS BECAUSE THAT IS THE BEST WAY I’VE FOUND TO DESCRIBE/SHOW THEM OFF, OKAY??! Don’t make this weird...

So going off of the book’s categorization of voices and the roles of internal families, I’ve summarized my parts to be:

The Queen Bee, Manager. Full of Pride and Self-Justification. Brandy Harrington from Brandy and Mr. Whiskers. This part covers up “weaknesses” of being autistic, learning disabled, domestic violence, emotional neglect, multiple family member abandonment, and child on child sexual abuse. She represents that 11 year old me who tried so hard to fit in and emulate her abusers. All she wanted was to be affirmed, valued and validated.

Same with the other “Queen” Manager lol. Another part full of Pride. This one specifically I held onto at 13 because I just could not get any real discussion going with my mom on why I questioned my sexuality, and I just felt super invalidated so I rebelled as a form of “self care”. The difference between the Queens is one wants to fit in, the other wants to stand out but still be the Best That Ever Was, hahaha. They cover up all the same so-called weaknesses still (ZIM covers up grooming abuse as well), and really just need to both know they’re valued by Jesus, so they can celebrate their strengths instead of using them as a shield.

And this is the final Queen, the Dream Queen Manager. Sawyer from Cats Don’t Dance. Basically the idealized working class woman who finds success eventually after hustling to the max. My teenage dream come true to finally reaching adulthood after the mess of childhood and coming out on Top Better than The Rest. A sort of weird euphoria fever dream of “I can’t wait for my life to start in college and career!” completely disregarding my mental health. Still needs to know she’s loved by God and it’s okay to be disabled, use her strengths instead for her community.

Foreign Exchange Boy, the Manager. Self doubt, self condemning, second guessing. Steven Universe. 15-16 year old victim wearing the disguise of a boy because she hates her body that much by now and wishes she were the opposite, a strong fat boy. This part literally ran on shame in a way that was running away from sexual traumas instead of facing them and accepting them (like all Managers do, basically). This voice reveals our human limitations. Through biblical self awareness, she can hold herself accountable as a girl without striving for the impossible. She can learn to love her body.

Good Girl Nice Girl and/or Runaway. Mihashi Ren. I see them as a mixture of both Manager and Firefighter. Normally people pleasing at the expense of herself, but ready to run somewhere else if things get out of control. This parts been around for as long as I can remember, since my preteens, actually. This part says it’s good to serve others and share in their happiness.

Being a good kid and meeting my peers’ expectations of a nice girl who would do anything so they wouldn’t leave, and that she could absorb their identities and self esteem. Jesus taught it was good to serve without expecting anything back. You typically won’t, anyway, with the way this part likes to go about it. When she runs, she can run to God’s rest in prayer like in times’ past. He doesn’t grow weary from work that He should want breaks from us.

The Revolutionary Manager. Dan from Dan Vs. From 16 to 17 as I was still trans, I was absolutely fed up with the world by this point that I snapped. Not that I haven’t before, many parts beg to differ... This voice Resents, Condemns and Controls Others to try to fix the broken world, so they in turn can fix themselves. Real petty stuff, but funny in a cartoon. The good thing this part means to say is it’s good to look out for your neighbor, esp if they’re on a harmful path. Jesus shows how He challenged others without forcing them to be like Him, but to forgive and trust their lives in the Father’s hands.

The Lovesick Love Interest Manager. Yuno Gasai. I didn’t know there was a character who could so accurately describe a part, and her show came out a year after this part took over, so there were no influences. At 14-15 years old, I developed love addiction for this girl and convinced her to date me so I could stave off suicidal thoughts from my emotional neglect and abandonment. She’d cheat, me being immature thinking she was too cowardly to tell them to leave her alone, I’d fight off boys at every turn.

Exalting myself to prove my worth, people pleasing her to keep her around and have an identity and self worth, and overcorrecting and fighting rivals to keep the relationship safe. All in the game of covering up the sexual abuse, grooming abuse and neglect which lead to this. Eventually when I lost her due to putting up boundaries after saying yes to too many things I didn’t truly agree to, this Manager slowly faded into the Revolutionary. Whoops. Jesus still sees and loves her in her weaknesses, she doesn’t have to earn His love because He stays anyway, and He doesn’t have favorites.

A Manager I don’t have a kin for. Mute was silent in public. Schools and everywhere else, she kept quiet to avoid ridicule and rejection. Exalts Others by fading into the background. Wishes she could make friends, but can’t out of fear. Assumes she’s in good standing and is noticed already for it, but is instead ignored or denied a personality. This voice says it’s good to listen more than quickly speak. God sees me and wants to be my friend. Nothing I do could surprise Him enough to give up on me.

We’re onto the Firefighters. This is Ghost. A couple times during toddler years, once during my preteens, Ghost’s dissociation was a mainstay at 13 onwards. Sometimes floating around causing chaos without realizing it, for me to come to and be horrified at the awkward consequences. Because of outside or inside stress, she zones out somewhere.

She held back traumatic memories with amnesia, as well. This response is a God given pain medication and sedative, but during inopportune times, we need to dance, stomp our feet, feel textures, notice colors and food tastes to wake up. Or remember something funny or lovely from nostalgia if emotionally numb, too.

The others I don’t have kins for. I can only describe them. Bingey feels the worlds out of control, so she overeats to calm down. I may not be able to control what the world does, but I am accountable to how much food I take in. I make our meals every 4 hours with snacks in-between. I’ve found I love cooking, and it’s okay to enjoy life’s pleasures in moderation. Daydream jumps on dissociation wagon by hanging out in the bedroom all day to go to another fantasy world. This voice shows us it’s okay to have dreams and be in awe of God’s creation. He has a hopeful future for us that we’ll love and we can worship Him for His work, instead of escaping into illusions and never going outside.

Itch is the unaware self harmer. Skin picking. Whenever stressed, here it comes. This voice reminds me that we need care. Like a toddler crying and tugging on our clothes for help and love. Gently redirect the Itch somewhere else to take care of the child underneath.

There’s Masochist. Self harmer who uses sex. Born out of shame, sexual traumas, family dynamics. Masochist loves to bully “weaknesses” like being too skinny, eating too much, having a female body, being a sexual object, being stupid. Feeds on rape fantasies by themselves or showing up to keep relationships safe when I don’t feel like being intimate with others. But in Jesus, I can love myself for my weight, sex, and disabilities because He does and He made me this way. He shows me I can be sexually pure in marriage with a godly man who loves me for me. If marriage is not destined, I’m still okay with God.

Finally, Student is the workaholic perfect kid to deflect attention away from obvious dysfunctional family dynamics, so nothing worse happens in foster homes. Born from domestic violence, school torture and seclusion, training and brainwashing beliefs of internalized ableism and masking, and the idea from family to never tell the truth about home life. There’s nothing wrong with working, but we can’t be perfect or hide everything forever. I can work for God and tell Him the truth without fear of tragedy.

#long post #of course there's the exiles #but I haven't read that far yet #that's enough for today #I'm exhausted #tbh??#can a person have THIS many parts and NOT have DID???#This concerns me..

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dcarevu · 5 years

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Batman TAS: The Clock King

Hi, guys! Gee, it’s been a while! For another week or two, doing these blogs are going to be incredibly difficult to accomplish. It’s the last two weeks of my school semester, meaning that it’s crunch time. Overall, school has kept me so busy that watching the episodes has been doable, but writing about them has been a huge problem. It sucks, because doing this blog and venting my thoughts is incredibly satisfying. To be honest, if I didn’t include screenshots and captions for most of them (like how I used to do things), these posts would likely still be coming out regularly. But they are a lot of extra work. It more than doubles the creation-time, believe it or not. It is work that is worth it, mind you, it adds a massive leap in awesome-factor. But I just don’t have time for it at the moment. I have watched up to Robin’s Reckoning as of the moment I type this. Because of how far ahead that is without actually writing anything about those episodes, it’s going to be hard to write meaningful blog posts about them, simply due to the episodes not being as fresh in my mind. I will try to rewatch them (or at the very least skim through them and read about them). I’m in a bit of a rut. I didn’t want to stop watching episodes entirely, because I’d like to get through the DC Animated Universe in a somewhat timely manner (I’d watch an episode per night if only I could). Luckily, after the 10th of May I should be back at it in full. I’m likely way more excited about it than you are, but hey, I’m mainly doing this for me (with a hearty “welcome” to anyone who happens to discover and enjoy these along the way). Just figured I’d keep any readers updated! This is the last post for the next couple of weeks. I’ll check in soon! In the mean time…

“Thirty-seven pages? That would take a copier exactly one minute and forty-nine seconds. One more delay like this and you're fired!”

Episode: 25 Robin: No Writer: David Wise Director: Kevin Altieri Animator: Sunrise Airdate: September 21, 1992 Grade: B

So lately I’ve been watching these episodes using my Blu Ray copy, and receiving the screenshots from my DVD copy. There hasn’t been too much for variance, aside from one looking obviously better, but The Clock King is an example of a pretty drastic difference in how two episodes can be presented. The Blu Ray copy is much brighter than the DVD copy, and while that does allow us to see what is going on a little bit better in dark scenes such as when Batman and Temple Fugate face off inside the clock, it also makes other scenes uncharacteristically bright, and honestly a little bit tacky. Seeing Batman walking around in broad daylight is odd enough, but when you further get rid of the illusion of how cool he looks by upping the exposure an additional amount, it makes him look really out of place. In the series bible, I can see why they wanted to keep Batman only appearing after dark. In the real world, it would be a lot easier to see Batman as a normal guy in a dorky Halloween costume when not cloaked in the shadows or when the ability to see him before he attacks is present. Of course, this isn’t saying that if Batman were to see trouble during daylight that he should just ignore it. It makes sense to break the rule sometimes, and it’s not even a problem to me in this episode, I just don’t think that the remastering of the Blu Ray release does it any favors in this case. The brightness also brings out the budget, revealing a whole lot of bland blues, grays, and browns. These colors have not been shy since the beginning, but there is no disguising them this time.

Fugate is a villain who’s main flaw is not only how obsessive-compulsive he gets about his schedule, keeping track of things, being on time, etc, but also the fact that he extends this to other people. He expects them to fall in line with his standards. For example, he keeps track of how long he and Mayor Hill have been taking the subway together, and expects Hill to know his name just from that. Also, his employee/intern who brings him a stack of papers too slowly for his standards, because apparently a photocopier should only take “one minute and forty-nine seconds” on that particular stack. And then, the biggest one of all, when he expects Mayor Hill to immediately know the significance of the time 3:15. This is the time that Hill suggested Fugate go on his coffee break, indirectly leading to Fugate losing the court case, ruining his life and creating the Clock King. But this was seven years prior! If someone came up to you and went, “1:47!” would you have any idea what they were talking about? Sure, a lot of things have happened at 1:47, maybe even some significant things, but as far as what they are, most people probably do not keep track. Another theme that I noticed was the idea of hindsight. Have you ever been in a situation where you gave someone a mere suggestion, they willingly took it, and then when something happened to ruin it, they blame you and insist that they knew it was a bad idea? Right, of course in hindsight it’s easy to say that, but truth is, neither of you saw the consequences coming! On top of that, any bad things that happened were completely unrelated to what you suggested, and luck just did not happen to line up. Maybe if Fugate hadn’t gone on that coffee break at a different time than usual, something else would have happened (not to get Final Destination-y on you). Point is, Fugate is completely missing the mark by staying mad at Mayor Hill for that long, and it’s like the old saying goes, “Shit happens.” Ironically, for a man so precise and knowledgable when to comes to all things time and clock related, looking back in time without heavy distortion does not seem to be something he is capable of doing in this case.

The main thing I liked about this episode (as I think a lot of people did) was its incredibly cruel nature. Just how mean to a guy can the writers be? “All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy”. That’s a Joker quote (taken from The Killing Joke), and it’s something I think about from time to time. I often wonder how much is between a rational brain and a completely irrational one. How much subconscious effort does being sane take? What’s keeping any of us from letting go and succumbing to the lunacy? Do our minds even work that way? Well, I sure as hell don’t know. And nobody worry, I’m not even the least bit afraid of snapping or anything, hahaha. It probably greatly varies from person to person as far as what would be enough to drive them crazy. In Temple Fugate’s case, it was a lot less than it would take for the majority of us. But this is hammered home by the drama of him being late to court. The bloody browns, dramatic shadows, and violent ticks of a clock do not necessarily represent how Fugate sees the situation, but they are there to represent how the situation affects him. If we were to be affected like him, this is how we would have to experience the situation. After all, everything is relative. This is juxtaposed brilliantly by the prior scene where birds are chirping and the sun is shining. Fugate seems like an alien trying to act casually as he struggles to relax for those few seconds. This is also more from our point of view than Fugate’s. These two scenes being back to back make us feel confused and baffled over our villain, all while allowing us to understand him completely. To me, understanding does not necessarily mean that something makes sense to us. Understanding is knowing the why. But, as an analogy, someone can tell me why they like the taste of zucchini. But that doesn’t make it any more clear to me those reasons can be enough for someone can like it. It just is what it is, and the bottom line is that all of our realities are different. For Temple Fugate, this is an unfortunate reality.

The producers of Batman set a goal of having a crazy set piece at the third act of every episode. They wanted it to aid in the excitement and to be memorable. I’m pretty sure not all episodes did this (it would become formulaic is abused), but this, along with Prophecy of Doom are the two that come to mind as demonstrators of this concept. Unfortunately, the animation lacks the spark that it needs. Luckily The Clock King wasn’t infected by Atom disease, and so the climax downright corny like Prophecy of Doom, and seeing the inside of the clock was neat, but… It wasn’t beyond just neat. I wish we got a bigger sense of scale, seeing further to the bottom of the clock, and maybe getting some better angles along with quicker action. I wanted a sense of height like what Mayor Hill was experiencing from the outside, as he was tied to the clock-hand. Plus just better fighting. It was such a tease of an action scene. I wanted to be at the edge of my seat, but feeling that way would require forcing it. And I just don’t have that kind of energy, man. Sunrise tried, they really did. The scene (and the whole episode in general) looks passable. But the blandness holds it back. It’s like eating the macaroni and cheese from my college. It’s mac and friggin’ cheese. So of course it’s going to be edible. Of course I’m going to like it. But where is the usual flavor? Where is the element that I usually am head-over-heels for? I can make vague comments about what it’s missing or what I would personally do to make it better. But probably the most firm statement I can really make is only, “Just do it better next time.”

I feel bad for people like this. We’ve all met them. They hold themselves (and others) to an impossibly high standard. Think about how much energy that must use.

The shock of Fugate hitting his coffee break at an odd time. She’s worked with him a long time.

Batman’s idea of a nice, sunny day. As noted, it’s brighter on the Blu Ray. One of the scenes where the brightness adds to it. That tree is casting a shadow, but it almost looks like the clock is the one causing it...

The Blu Ray variant.

Great stuff! The tick of a clock gets louder and louder through the scene.

“Then perhaps this will teach you to be on time for a change.” This line holds so much weight, as to someone like Fugate, it cements the idea that one moment of leniency was one too many.

This drawing could have been a little more grotesque, but not bad!

“I take it taxi-drivers are no longer required to obey traffic signs.”

I find it a little whacky that Bruce Wayne noticed trouble from way down on the streets.

Bruce going through that car was animated incredibly strangely. It looked like he entered the car, but then it looked like he emerged from behind it. But anyway, maybe this was a Superman homage? In one of the Superman movies, he walked through a car and emerged completely changed. Batman doesn’t have that amount of speed, so maybe this is kind of like his version of it. In the shadows, where he belongs.

Wow, ugly screenshot. But see how odd it is to see Batman in the daylight?

Again, here is the Blu Ray version. And on a much better frame.

Why he didn’t hurl the explosive directly at Batman is beyond me. He just kinda threw it into the distance. Maybe as a warning (much like Walter White vs Tuco for any Breaking Bad fans).

See what I mean by blandness so far? A little more style would have gone a long way.

What an awful way to die this would be. Split in half by two hands of a giant clock. Imagine the impact this would have on Gotham if it had have worked.

A few bits from inside the clock, including Fugate’s apparent death. But Batman doesn’t seem to think he’s gone... Some of these drawings of gears frankly suck. The line-work just isn’t there. This episode felt like a Twilight Zone episode, I’ve gotta say. I think it had to do with the personality of the villain along with some of the events that happened. Batman and Twilight Zone... Now there’s a crossover with possible potential...

Char’s grade: B Next time: Appointment in Crime Alley

Full episode list here!

#dcau #dc animated universe #batman tas #the clock king #batman #btas #batman the animated series

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