#it's part of the growth that scene i think. it shows both that shu tried to be nice but just isn't quite there yet | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

twilightprince101 · 4 years

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Why I love Yan-Shu Chi/Leopard Cat: A Character Analysis

While I am fully aware that I don’t need to have a reason to love an F/O and self ship, I still want to explain why exactly I love this boy so much. I still love Likulau and Lin Hu just as much-refer to my carrd, we’re in a poly relationship-but I feel like Shu Chi overall is in a different bag than them.

I absolutely adore his antics and how cute he looks (I mean look at that face. How can you say no to that face), but what I want to focus on is his actions throughout the game, more specifically: Shu Chi’s self perception and his actions surrounding that. For a while I didn’t know why I loved him so much, but after playing through the game three times now and seeing his actions with full context, I believe I now know where my affection comes from.

(Spoilers for all of Nekojishi. Also to clarify, I’m solely referring to the SFW version, I like to pretend the NSFW version doesn’t exist)

So for anyone who doesn’t care about going through and playing Nekojishi themselves or it’s been a while since you’ve played, here’s the general gist for Shu Chi: From the beginning you are introduced to Leopard Cat as a spirit that is possessing Liao/MC/Your classmate, Yan Shu Chi, doing so in order to try to convince you to help him with repairing his spirit temple. However he does insist that since he is possessing Shu Chi’s body, he has all his memories and should be treated as one and the same, and throughout the game you do.

But if you stick to his route until the end, the truth is revealed: The real Yan Shu Chi is dead, killed by the Leopard Cat spirit you’ve grown to know.

Apparently Leopard Cat is not actually a god, but a devilish yaoguai, born at first like a natural predator, eating people’s souls to survive. With each soul he consumed he gained that one’s intelligence and memories, slowly becoming more intelligent until eating human Shu Chi and quite literally becoming him. The entire time he tried to get close to you was to eat your soul since it was special *obvious hand waving* and needed to eat to survive.

At the end of the game though, you’re able to talk him down and through help from Lin Hu, transform him into a half-god, no longer needing to prey on others in order to live normally, in exchange for continuing to pretend to be Shu Chi for the sake of his friends and family. Blah blah blah, happy ending for everyone!

So now that his actions have been explained, let’s get into the real meat of this whole thing: Shu Chi’s self perception and overall growth in his ability to trust (for simplicity and epilogue’s sake, I’m going to continue referring to him as Yan Shu Chi).

Now knowing that Shu Chi was putting up an act in order to deceive you, it’s easy to realize that his actions early in the story were just attempts to get close and trick you. His moving in with you, constantly pestering to go on dates, his quirky and pretty boy attitude: all of those are a part of his facade. But as the story progresses, the line between act and true feelings becomes blurry as he is shown true, unconditional kindness.

Around the mid-point in the story, Shu Chi has to move out and go back home to his family, as they don’t agree with his lifestyle and sexuality. Since Shu Chi is still putting up an act, he needs to leave in order to preserve it. But if you bought him the husky hat in his first date, making sure to clean it while keeping his stuff laid out during his absence, you give it to him as he is about to leave, and he’s shocked by this.

Let it be known that, growing up, it was quite literally in his nature to prey on others. He had to in order to survive and it was all he knew, so he couldn’t even fathom the idea of doing things for others and was-in all senses of the word-unable to change. He was never shown kindness as a yaoguai, always hunting and being hunted, hurting others because it was the only thing he knew. Even through the first half of the game he doesn’t see the stuff you do for him as acts of kindness, as he was the one that prompted them in the first place like going to hot springs and having a picnic.

You keeping the husky hat for him is the first time Shu Chi has ever been shown unprompted, unconditional affection. Because of this, self doubt had begun to form and as he turns to leave, he needs to actively hold back tears.

It’s at this point the cracks begin to show in Shu Chi’s act. For the first time he has been shown kindness and affection, entirely unprompted, without asking for anything in return. He begins to doubt not only his actions, but himself, wondering if any of this is worth it, or if he is even worth it. For a while, he distances himself from you, in hopes of trying to rid himself of these feelings. But those feelings don’t go away, the guilt grows into self-loathing and only gets worse.

Later on during a date in the arcade, Shu Chi says that he will soon have to stop possessing your friend’s body, as his spirit power is slowly fading away to nothing due to his loss of followers and his temple. This is still a lie in his act as Shu Chi, but it isn’t done to prey on you, it’s done to distance himself from you even more, out of fear that he’ll just go on to hurt you down the line.

But once again Liao does something he doesn’t expect: offers to build him a temple in his room. The underlying rules for gods in this game is that their life force is tied to spirit power, which comes from worship. This worship doesn’t have to be at a temple, but it is stronger there, and as long as one person worships him he will have enough power to stick around. So by Liao/you offering this, you’re giving Shu Chi a chance to live on.

This moment, this moment right here, is the moment that absolutely breaks him. In an attempt to distance himself from you, to get away in an attempt to keep you safe, he is offered a true act of kindness without asking for anything in return. This person he has lied to and plotted against for so long, under the pretense of yet another lie, is willing to help purely for the sake of helping.

It’s at this point he realizes: He truly does love you, and to him, that is hell.

His self-loathing spikes as he struggles with all of the guilt that has piled up, and just for a moment his act drops, admitting to you that he does in fact want to stay and be with you. But the fact that he is a yaoguai, that he has to prey on others in order to survive, plagues him. It is unknown if at the start he was comfortable with what he was, but for the rest of the game he is disgusted with himself. “I want to be with you, I want to stay with you, I don’t deserve you, I am a monster.”

Of course, if I’m talking about Shu Chi, there’s one thing I know I have to mention: the bad endings. Throughout Nekojishi there are a handful of bad ends, but for Shu Chi there are mainly two, both following the same order of events. Liao gets hit by a truck, and as he slowly dies, Shu Chi pulls you into a dream where he is your guardian tiger, putting him at ease in his last moments. But while they follow the same events, the context of both of these scenes are drastically different.

For the first one, it is a little before he moves out. Shu Chi lures you into the street on purpose to be hit, pulling you into the dream as a way to lower your guard so he can consume your soul. For the second one though, it is immediately after the arcade scene, after Shu Chi realizes that he wants to be with you, wants your affection. He still lures you into the street to get hit, but he immediately regrets it after, mourning the loss of the only one that cared for him.

When he pulls you into the dream this time though, it isn’t so he can consume your soul. It’s so he can continue to be with you. He realizes that, through all of this, he still does want to be with you, but he feels like he can only do so through lies. So as you’re on your death bed, he creates a dream where he can be with and comfort you in your last moments, paying back the affection you’ve given him. He wants to love you, he wants to be loved. But in his eyes, this is the only way that can happen: through lies.

From the arcade date onward, the self loathing and self hatred grows even more, with his perception of “I am a monster” lingering throughout. After enough time, eventually, he begins to truly believe that. “I am a heartless monster, that is all I will ever be.” Because of this self-perception, in the climax of the game, he leaves in the most messy and destructive way possible: tricking Likulau into trying to kill you and running away.

But through the help of Lin Hu and Likulau, you track him down and talk to him. Through all of his self-hatred over being a Yaoguai, he’s fully convinced himself that he is a monster, and it is in his nature to hurt others. Not a choice, but an inevitability. So instead of staying with the threat of hurting you down the line, he burned the bridge with gasoline and napalm.

As the conversation progresses though, it’s clear that through all of this, Shu Chi is just afraid. Not just of losing you, but through everything. As a yaoguai who was raised to prey on others, he was-in a way-born evil. So those that were “good” hunted him to protect others. Gods treated Yaoguai as a menace, so they had to become more devious to survive. Shu Chi isn’t evil, he was raised to believe he was.

So now that both Lin Hu and Likulau have him cornered, with his actions being brought to light, he thinks that he’s going to die. If he runs, he’ll be hunted. If he stays, he’ll likely be killed. There’s no way out. He’s nearly entirely committed to this act he put on to fool himself. But one final act of kindness makes that act completely crumble: being spared and turned into a half-god, freed from having to hurt others.

It’s important to clarify that Shu Chi wasn’t forced to come back to negotiate. He chose to do it himself. In his mind he feels like he’s going to die no matter what he does. So when he was presented a choice, he came back. The act of being presented a choice alone broke the act he built up for himself. Even if either ended in his own death, he came back, because he wanted a reason to live.

These final moments truly show Yan Shu Chi’s character. He’s not a monster, he was raised to believe he was. He’s not evil, he’s just scared of affection. Then, finally given a chance to live on without hurting others, he is brought to tears.

All of this is why I love Shu Chi. Throughout his entire life he believed himself to be a monster, but over the course of the game through acts of kindness, he slowly transformed from a being who’s sole purpose was to hurt others into a human longing for affection and a reason to live.

This isn’t a quick fix ending either, it still takes a long time for Shu Chi to accept who he is and he still feels immense guilt for what he’s done. This can even be seen in the epilogue, where he puts others’ happiness over his own, doing something that could potentially get him killed in the process. But in the end, he still wants affection, and compared to how he started out, he is an entirely different spirit.

That is why I love Yan Shu Chi. Not because he’s cute, not because he’s playful. I love him because he is flawed. I love him because of how much he’s grown over the course of the story. I love him because of him trying to protect others from himself, even if they hurt others in the end. I love him because in the end he isn’t evil, just unlucky. I love him because in the end he just wants affection.I love him because of how he realized he has just enough potential to be good as other people.

I love Yan Shu Chi because despite everything, despite the way he was raised, despite what he has done, despite everyone else and even himself saying otherwise,

Yan Shu Chi is human.

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hikaru9 · 7 years

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About Malec, Part 1: Alec’s character development

Chapter 5 of the “About Magnus” meta series. Some friends pointed out that I didn’t write about Malec yet so I decided to do so. This one will be show based (for once I’m separating books and show, because the dynamics are completely different). Thanks to my beta readers again <3

I think that in order to understand Malec (how the relationship started and why; their love for each other, etc.) it is necessary to understand first Alec and Magnus as separated individuals. The situations they find themselves in and their emotional turmoil influence how they behave (in general, but also towards people and each other specifically) and can explain certain reactions. I decided thus to analyze (a bit) their character development, which is, to me, one of the most important aspects in a book, show or movie.

“Character development” refers to the psychological journey the characters go through, changing from behaviour A to behaviour B and becoming somehow a different person by the end of the journey itself, even though they retain most of their positive features. It is one of the most interesting aspects because, we as the audience, learn to notice mistakes and see how they react and try to (hopefully) be better people, like anyone should do in real life.

Alec and Magnus in (early) season 1 are very different from the Alec and Magnus versions of season 2, and even then they keep on changing and becoming better people. They still retain all of their positive aspects (helping people, etc.), however the progressive growth they are going through changes how they behave. Let’s take a look at Alec first, who is the one that probably changed the most.

Quotes from:

Shadowhunters TV Show – Season 1, Episode 03 “Dead Man's Party” Shadowhunters TV Show – Season 1, Episode 04 “Raising Hell” Shadowhunters TV Show – Season 1, Episode 05 “Moo Shu to Go” Shadowhunters TV Show – Season 1, Episode 06 “Of Men and Angels” Shadowhunters TV Show – Season 1, Episode 07 “Major Arcana” Shadowhunters TV Show – Season 1, Episode 08 “Rise Up” Shadowhunters TV Show – Season 1, Episode 12 “Malec”

1. Pre-Malec: How Alec was

From episode 1x01 to 1x04, the show establishes pretty clearly who Alec is. First, he’s a soldier and a born Shadowhunter. He’s used to following orders and doing what his leaders expect him to do, because it is the way he was taught. Having an important family name makes it even more crucial to know how to be a good Shadowhunter. He is a leader (he acts as Head of the Institute when his parents are not around) and can clearly take things in his hands and decide what to do next; his decisions always conform to the Shadowhunters’ view and, more specifically, to the Law. His opinion on Downworlders mirrors what everybody in the Shadowhunter society say, because he doesn’t know any better and he has no reason to doubt what people think.

“And we can't react without considering our options. Downworlders are slaves to their emotions. We are not.” – 1x03

He is used to not doubting at all the orders he receives nor the supposed truth about what he has been taught. He knows what his duty towards his Shadowhunter life and his family is, as his mother tells him in episode 1x05:

“Life is not about what you want to do, it is about what must be done” – (1x05)

Being a “good follower” and even a better soldier leads to knowing one’s own place. That also means hiding things from plain sight to avoid conflict or useless discussions. As a consequence, he learned to hide what he thinks and what his gut tells him because following orders (and being a good Shadowhunter soldier) is his normal life. That, however, influences also his personal behaviour.

Alec is shy and not very good at socializing outside (and let’s face it, even inside) the Institute. He doesn’t seem to be good at handling new things, people and situations, because “normal” feels good and safe for the feelings and thoughts he is hiding. As Isabelle says in 1x04, he “bottles things up”:

He never vents it out when he’s emotionally upset.

Isabelle: “You know you would be a lot happier if you weren't so freaking repressed” (1x03)

He hides what he feels from everyone (Jace and Isabelle included) and tries not to face them himself.

Isabelle: “You're hiding from yourself, not me.” Isabelle: “You have feelings whether you like them or not, Alec” (1x03)

He lashes out, or makes sarcastic comments when he doesn’t agree or something upset him. That is because he doesn’t know how to express what he has inside.

Isabelle: “You can’t keep bottling things up Alec. It’s a matter of time before they explode” (1x04)

He tries to reason with the people he loves (Izzy and Jace) but he doesn’t tell the real reason why he doesn’t agree or doesn’t like something.

He doesn’t accept things about himself when they don’t follow what is “normal” for the Shadowhunter society and what people expect from him (the importance of duty, hence the proposal to Lydia in episode 1x08 to restore his family name).

Magnus: “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Alec.” Alec: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Magnus: “You will” (1x04)

He doesn’t want things to change because he is afraid of rejection if he follows his instincts.

2. The importance of 1x04, part 1: Things ARE changing

Episode 1x04 is a turning point for Alec, because what he’s hiding inside (his feelings for Jace, being gay, not following his instincts but doing what he thinks is wrong anyway) are being exposed for anyone to see. His fear of having everything in the open causes a bit of trouble (they “lose” the demon who had Clary’s memories and Jace almost got hurt in the process). “Normal” is slipping from his grasp and the main reason why that is happening is Clary. Clary entering their lives changes all the dynamics of their situation and routine. Isabelle says it in episode 1x04:

“Before Clary got here, every day was the same. Go on a mission, kill demons. Go on a mission, kill demons. At least now things are interesting.” (1x04)

Before Clary everything was boring, they were always working and having no fun at all, but since Clary became part of their group, it’s all more interesting. Clary is changing everything: she’s questioning the apparent peace they had in the Shadowhunter world, she’s stressing their duty towards humanity, she’s shaking the Institute and she’s changing Jace.

Even if Alec doesn’t like what’s happening, he tries to help nonetheless, because Jace asks him to; however, in truth, he doesn’t want anything to do with the current changing. In fact, he seems to be at ease only in the scene in episode 1x03 when he’s killing vampires with Izzy (“This is fun”) because it feels like a normal routine in his Shadowhunter-soldier life.

In spite of that, things are coming to the surface after the whole “retrieving memories” moment at the end of episode 1x04. Usually, when the situation gets out of his control he reacts in two ways:

When people point out something is bothering him or they ask him why he behaves in certain ways (closing off, lashing out) he doesn’t answer and he usually runs away so he doesn’t have to explain (see episode 1x03, both when Izzy tries to make him talk about what he feels and at the end with Jace);

When he, himself, is faced with the realness of his feelings (being gay, in love with Jace but not ready to tell him) he denies completely and puts walls between himself and his own heart (see episode 1x04, at the end with Magnus).

There are two reasons why he behaves like that:

He’s simply scared. He’s scared people would reject him, change their minds about him, or think less of him. He doesn’t understand it yet and he doesn’t know that his family actually love him for who he is.

The Shadowhunter society is not directly and openly against LGBT+ people, however they expect Shadowhunters to marry, have children and continue their fight (so they indirectly discourage LGBT+ Shadowhunters). Alec knows that, by being gay and, above all, by dating a Downworlder, he could “ruin it all” (like he says to Magnus in episode 1x12 before the wedding).

3. The importance of 1x04, part 2: Meeting Magnus

Episode 1x04 is a changing point also because Alec meets Magnus. For the first time in four episodes, we see a genuine smile on Alec’s face when he greets Magnus. It’s not only because he may find him attractive, it’s also because for once he’s not thinking, or rather, overthinking: he’s not stopping himself and what he’s feeling.

Both are intrigued by each other when Magnus teases him throughout the episode, Alec shrugs at Izzy and an offended Jace (who, for once, is not at the centre of it all): he is not used to flirting or teasing and he both doesn’t know what to do and is in denial about what is happening. He probably thinks that ignoring it will make it less important. Alec is clearly inexperienced and maybe not ready but meeting Magnus is somehow a blessing to finally face his most hidden fear: putting everything in the open. In fact, MAGNUS is the starting point of Alec’s character development.

4. The consequences

Episode 1x05 deals with the consequences of the initial character development. 1x04 broke Alec’s normality. In episode 1x05 he faces the fact that what he wants to do doesn’t always correspond to what the Clave would say to do. He tries to make everyone understand that and he states to Clary:

“Emotions are nothing but a distraction. You are ruled by them. We are taught to control them:” (1x05)

But Clary clearly retorts that it’s not working well with Alec. And for once, Alec listens. He is already changing (episode 1x04 started his character development) and for the first time, instead of lashing out or forget about what happened, he actually acts on it. Thus, some minutes later, after so long, he finally tries to confess. There is the perfect opportunity to tell Jace what he feels: he brings up the fact that he was upset about what happened with the Memory Demon. Jace plays oblivious, of course, to what Alec is trying to say (in episode 1x09, when they fight, it’s clear that Jace knows. He probably didn’t know how to handle it either), and Alec is almost there, more ready than any other time in his entire life, to finish what that situation with the demon started, and he hopes somehow that Jace understands it and figures it out on his own, but alas he doesn’t. In the end, Alec loses the moment and he doesn’t state clearly what is bothering him. Not everything went wrong anyway: for the first time Alec managed to actually talk about what he feels and not hide everything inside. This tiny change leads to an important scene later on: Magnus calls Alec to ask him if he wants to have a drink together. And, this time, Alec doesn’t shy away: he actually accepts. If you think about it, it is like that Memory Demon, by taking a memory away and putting it in front of everyone, opened a door in Alec’s heart, an escape, a let out, to finally try to understand his feelings and deal with them. That doesn’t mean everything will be perfect from now on, but Alec’s behaviour by the end of episode 1x05 and during 1x06 changes already, if compared to episodes 1x01 to 1x04.

In episode 1x06, when duty knocks again on his door to demand him to make a sacrifice (basically his life, since his parents want to arrange a marriage to restore their family name) he explodes at last.

Alec: I have followed every rule. I've given up everything! Isabelle: We'll find a way out of this. Alec: Screw the rules. Screw them. Screw all of this. (1x06)

He does what he WANTS, not what the Shadow World expects him to do, so he goes to Jace, who asked for his help earlier, and accepts Magnus’s request that he’d be there to assist in curing Luke (who was wounded by the previous alpha of the pack). This time, he runs from his duty, not his guts and instincts, and he does it rightly so because he helps by sharing his energy. Alec is already different from the version of him we met during the previous episode, and we can notice that even more at the end of 1x06 when he drinks and talks with Magnus for the whole night. The initial conversation seems to mirror the one he had with Jace in 1x05 but this time the outcome is very different: although Alec doesn’t manage yet to state clearly WHY he showed up at Magnus’s and he’s there having a drink with him, Magnus understands. He understands Alec is new at this, that he needs time to come to terms with his feelings, that he is not good at voicing his emotions. So, to help, he simply announces that he likes Alec from the moment he saw him, that he “unlocked something” inside him after almost a century of closing off, that, somehow, Alec is special. Alec NEEDS to hear these words, he needs people to make him understand CLEARLY where they stand so that he can think about what to do. Magnus takes even a step further, and he tells him he’ll wait: Alec can have a drink and decide whatever he wants to do. Adapting to Alec’s confusion and helping to sort his feelings is exactly the kind of behaviour a person should embrace if they want to be with Alec. Magnus tells him clearly where he stands, dissipating his confusion and gives him time to sort it out, something he still has to learn. That door that the Memory Demon unlocked is opening wider thanks both to Alec’s courage to start taking things in his hands and to Magnus for understanding.

5. Second turning point: Episode 1x08

The problems knock on his door again because of circumstances. Although he starts to share some (very few) details about his personal life with Isabelle in episode 1x07, indicating a possible different approach to his hidden side (he says he drank some cocktails with Magnus and “nothing else happened”, to which Izzy answers “Whenever you’re ready to talk about whatever you need to talk about, I’m here”), the Shadow World doesn’t stop to wait for Alec to adapt. Because of the several unauthorized missions Alec (and the others) went with and the return of Valentine and his active Circle members, the honor of the Lightwood name is questioned by the Clave who send Lydia Branwell to take control of the New York Institute. Furthermore, he discovers (through Lydia) that his parents were former Circle members. It’s like a cold shower for Alec: this is the first time that he’s confronted with the fact that both the Clave and his parents can be at fault. That automatically means that maybe, maybe, what he has been taught isn’t always correct, since this time, for example, the Clave is not trusting the Lightwoods even if they did nothing wrong; moreover his parents did horrible deeds in the past with Valentine. As a consequence, everything else can be wrong too, everything that he believed was right (his thoughts on the Downworlders, on the duty he has towards the Shadow World and his family, the supposed “wrongness” of his feelings for Jace). In fact, in episode 1x08, he vents it out to Magnus (he finally talks about what he feels, notice, and it is with Magnus, not with Izzy or anyone else):

Alec: “It’s like my whole life has been a lie.” [...] “I’ve done everything for my parents, for the Clave and… I’ve done everything that they’ve asked.” Magnus: “Maybe you should start living for yourself. Do what’s in your heart.” Alec: “I can’t believe I’m saying this. I think you’re right.” (1x08)

After episode 1x04, this is the second turning point for Alec: he admits that the way he is living is not healthy nor correct. He seems ready to change (of course, not immediately or suddenly, he needs time to adapt) and he understands that maybe he should listen more to what is inside his heart and not what his leaders tell him to do. This would also mean listen to his instincts more, instead of suppressing them.

However, there are a lot of problems to face, and the first is the fact that Lydia is officially the new Head of the Institute and the Lightwoods have been demoted. Alec reacts by following his instinct (“Do what’s in your heart”) and he tries to restore the honour of his family name by giving back the Institute to the Lightwoods. People seemed to be confused as to why Alec proposed to Lydia back in the days, after he had that chat with Magnus, but it is actually a clever follow up. Character development, when well done, is slow and full of obstacles. Even though Alec is opening up, that doesn’t mean we should expect him to be completely different from one episode to another, or from a situation to the other. Alec is learning and adapting and he’s becoming a new person: the Alec of episode 1 would have never proposed to Lydia. By proposing to her, he manages to destroy the Clave’s intent of deposing the Lightwoods, because, by marrying the current Head of the Institute, his family will be on top of the game once again. This means that for the first time (let’s face it, the unauthorized missions don’t really count. In there he broke the rules, but never the Law, as he says to Jace in episode 1x09) he’s going AGAINST the Clave. THIS is a new Alec. Thus, it confirms that he’s doing what he thinks is right. However, we shouldn’t think that by knowing he should respect himself more and do what he WANTS to do, he would immediately date Magnus, forget about Jace and leave his family to deal with the “Downworlder” affairs his family is involved with (see episode 1x08 and Izzy’s supposed fault, according to the Clave, for having a relationship with Meliorn). We are talking about Alec and, as I said at the beginning, characters usually retain their positive features by the end of their character development. One of Alec’s positive aspects is the devotion, respect and love he has for his family. He would do anything for his parents and his siblings. And this could also mean sacrificing himself, something that he was always aware of and ready to do. By marrying Lydia, he not only manages to ruin the Clave’s plans, he is also able to save his family’s reputation. THAT is also what is inside his heart and it is exactly what he says to Lydia: “I have to follow my heart”.

In season 2, we know that when Alec “follows his gut” it’s usually a good thing: Alec is a good leader and choice maker, and, most of the time (not always) he ends up doing something good. At this point of season 1, however, Alec “following his heart” (and gut by making an impulsive choice/proposal) is actually not a good thing for him. Why? Because he is trying to have it all. He’s stuck in between the old Alec and the new version of himself: between duty, tradition and obeying orders within the Shadow World and voicing his opinion.

His character development is currently in this phase in season 2 as well, hence the “obeying orders” in episode 2x13. Sometimes it is inevitable to fall back in one’s older self, because the change is not complete yet. It can happen and, if you think about it, it always will. We are not machines, we make mistakes all the time. The difference is that Alec, in season 2, knows himself better and can react quicker and amend sooner. In season 1, it takes FOUR episodes but that’s also because of the circumstances. Anyway, it is not a bad thing being in the middle of his old and new self. The problem arises when he tries to adapt his new self to his old one’s habits: he’s following his instinct in the wrong way by trying to be more traditional and more dutiful and, even more importantly, he is still denying his feelings, his sexual orientation by hiding everything. That is the essential difference between Alec in late season 1 and season 2: although in season 2 he still makes his “old” mistakes, Alec knows what he fought for and what he WANTS and he’s trying to pursue that, without hiding, without shame, without compromising. He knows his happiness is more important than any supposed truthful duty: he understood that sacrificing one’s self for the wrong assumptions is not living.

Late season 1 Alec is still processing everything and he’s coming to terms with the fact that what he’s choosing is not happiness, it’s still duty (thus, he’s reversing to his old self, even if he’s trying to be better by voicing his opinions). In fact, he knows the proposal is wrong because during episode 1x09 he’s really nervous. When he meets Magnus in the episode, he doesn’t look him in the eyes and runs away (see the beginning: it is one of his traits when emotions are about to explode in the open) and he snaps at his siblings once again. When he announces to Magnus he’s marrying Lydia, he is having a difficult time making him understand, because his own arguments sounds unconvincing even to his own ears and he knows he’s closing that door that was left open in the previous episodes for him to act on.

In 1x10 they finally have a proper discussion about it and Magnus tries to make him understand why it is so wrong to marry Lydia:

“You'll be lonely all your life, and so will she. Neither of you deserve it. And I don't either.” (1x10)

Alec doesn’t answer, he doesn’t snap, he doesn’t run away. He KNOWS what Magnus is saying is correct, that he’s ruining his life by choosing to hide again, but it still is a difficult decision to call off.

6. Closing the circle: the importance of 1x12

Episode 1x12, the “Malec” and “wedding” episode, sanctions Alec’s character development. From this episode there’s no turning back and Alec is finally able to take some step forward like he did in 1x04. Alec is irrevocably different from his older version after what happens in this episode: he’s finally at peace with himself although he’s still learning how to deal with his emotions. Doubt is at the centre of it all: there are three scenes in which Alec tells people he’s sure he’s doing the right thing. His arguments come off as very rehearsed: it is like he thought at length about the whole situation and he tried to CONVINCE himself what he is doing is the right thing.

In the first scene he’s with Magnus. He tries to explain that it is his duty to make his family proud.

“I'm a Shadowhunter. This is about family, tradition, honor,...”

Magnus answers by making him understand that following rules and trying to fulfill his duty by hiding what he really feels is not honorable at all.

Magnus: “Honor? Where's the honor in living a lie?” Alec: “What are you talking about?” Magnus: “What about love? Even Shadowhunters fall in love Alec.”

Alec is torn. That is the point where he is in his character development: he’s torn between following what his older self would do and what his new self knows would be best. Magnus voices all the arguments that his new self, heart and mind, is telling him so he just answers with: "You're confusing me". By the end of the discussion, the truth comes out:

“Even if I did feel something for you, you want me to give up my life for you? I have to do what is right for me. I could lose my family, my career, everything!”

He admits, somehow, that he feels something for Magnus but that he’s stuck in his traditions and duty. There’s no escape and he’s too afraid to lose everything for something that he still doesn’t understand. It seems he doesn’t know how to get out from the situation he created himself.

In the second important scene, this time with Izzy, it is clearly shown that he doesn’t like the idea of the wedding at all.

Alec: “This wedding is becoming more of a headache than I had planned.” Isabelle: “Alec, you don't have to go through with this if you don't want to.” Alec: “It's what I want.”

However, he immediately answers that “it is” what he wants, and again, that seems like his old self answering, like an automatization.

The third scene, with Jace, confirms this:

Alec: “It’s confusing" [...] “You know it's like, you have this plan for your life, and you know what you need to do, and what your responsibilities are. And you think, you know, “If you follow the rules, everything's gonna be fine”. Then somebody comes along and pushes you off that path. […] The point is, we're Shadowhunters. Emotions get in the way. And if you get knocked off the path, you have to focus and find your way back.”

This is basically the summary of Alec’s character development until now. He followed the rules for all his life and then these unknown and unwanted feelings made him question everything. Right now he’s struggling because he’s trying to get back to the way things were. Jace understands and points out:

Jace: “I mean, you still have to be true to yourself.” Alec: “I am. I’m fulfilling my duty.”

His answer is not entirely a lie. Alec is TRULY honorable and dutiful: remember, he’s a soldier. He knows what he has to do and what the Shadow World expects him to do. However, it is also, in part, a lie: what he is doing it’s true to his OLD self, the one who didn’t want to acknowledge what was inside him, the one who followed almost blindly the Law. This Alec is different and by fulfilling his supposed duty, he’s not completely being true to his new self. The moment when he chooses his own happiness opposed to living a “lie” and a miserable life is the exact moment where his character development goes further. He takes a step ahead toward his new identity.

Alec: “I can't do this. I thought we were doing the right thing but, this isn't it.” Lydia: “You deserve to be happy.”

Alec is choosing honor and duty, but TOWARD HIMSELF. He’s doing this for himself and him only, not even for Magnus. He knows he needs to respect himself and stop trying to make everyone else happy (he says so to Maryse right after: “This isn’t about you”). This is very difficult to understand and acknowledge and the fact that Alec finally does is very important.

“I'm the same person I've always been. Now everything's just out in the open.” (1x12)

7. Season 2: The aftermath

There are a lot of characters and other protagonists in the show and, being a show, character development is usually slowly constructed. This means that a specific character is not always changing. Season 1 proved that Alec had specific moments where he needed to learn and move on, and it is the same in season 2 as well. The main difference between the two is that season 1 had to establish the WHOLE beginning of the character development, which takes way more time than following the same character in his adjustments after the initial change. Thus, season 2 is based on steps:

Alec learning how to express himself. Before, he snapped and ran away; at the moment, if he feels strong emotions, he actually searches for help. When Jace was missing at the beginning of season 2, he goes to Magnus’s apartment to vent things out, and they talk.

He’s able to understand emotions better and he’s not ashamed of them. Episode 2x07 is a very important episode for both Alec’s and Magnus’s character developments. During those moments, he moves forward his new self: first, he acknowledges that his feelings for Magnus are true, important and are not going away. Second, he talks to Izzy about his thoughts on having sex and the importance of his relationship with Magnus. Izzy embodies his character development in that moment: she tells him that if his heart, his instincts, are telling him that it is the right thing to do, then he should follow his thoughts and do it. Stop overthinking, stop feeling insecure. And he does. It doesn’t take four episodes to do it: he just does. Following what his heart believes is right (and not what his duty tells him) and asking advice on that is something that early season 1 Alec would have never done.

In fact, he asks for advice several times through season 2. He talks to Jace about being a better Shadowhunter and a good leader, and he always turns to Isabelle for advice on his relationship. Although he has specific and clear ideas about situations, he still talks to his siblings to know their point of views. Their thoughts lead him to ponder over everything and act in the right way (for example, in 2x15 Isabelle tells him to push Magnus to reveal what’s wrong instead of giving him time, like Alec intended to. He follows Izzy’s advice and he manages to breach Magnus’s walls).

He recognizes something is wrong immediately. It still takes him some time to understand how to rebel or react to a situation he thinks is wrong but within the Law. He knew something was wrong with Magnus and Valentine in 2x12, but he had no evidence but his gut. The circumstances were too dangerous to call everything off based only on a “wrong feeling” so he didn’t act on it. He knew asking Magnus's DNA was wrong as well, yet he didn’t know how to refuse without sounding biased. So he follows his orders, like he’s used to, and shuts down that voice that tells him he’s doing something ill. He acknowledges his mistakes and says sorry every single time.

He is going towards this kind of situation (although he still struggles along the way):

However, as you may notice, Alec’s character development in season 2 is immensely more linked to Malec and his stable relationship with Magnus, than his behaviour with himself and all the people around him. The moment with the Memory Demon and Magnus entering his life, being that “somebody” that “comes along and pushes you off that path” (of following rules) were the reasons behind his initial change and the whole starting of his character development. During season 2 it’s more centered on how he reacts to his first serious relationship (and let’s face it, it is more about Magnus’s character development than Alec’s, overall), thus I’ll focus on more details in the Malec meta.

Note:

It’s very interesting to notice how Alec and Isabelle’s character developments mirror each other. I’m going to be brief because it would need an analysis of its own but if you think about it, Alec and Isabelle basically switch places through the episodes.

At the beginning of season 1, Alec is closed off, he’s not sure of himself, he never smiles and he’s very unhappy. He's in a very dark place mentally, and maybe the worst he has ever been. On the other hand, Isabelle is very open to friendship and relationships, she often smiles, she’s having fun with Clary and her siblings and seems rather content with her life. As season 1 develops, Alec changes and Isabelle begins her journey as well: she’s still very open about her feelings (she always tells Alec about her personal life) and passionate of her thoughts (she defends the Downworlders all the time). However, as Alec starts to open up to the world, to go off “the right path”, as he calls it, and he learns not to follow the rules all the time, Isabelle begins to close off, go ON “the right path” (she breaks up with Meliorn since her parents tell her the Lightwood name has been tainted because of her relationships with Downworlders, when we know it was the Clave blackmailing them) and she tries to follow the rules more diligently. While she breaks up with Meliorn and stops her romantic relationship with a Downworlder, Alec develops a romantic interest for one. In season 2, Alec is clearly happier (after the problem with finding Jace), he’s more keen on revealing his feelings and reaches out to Isabelle to discuss his problems and private life (the advice on having sex with Magnus). On the other hand, Isabelle doesn’t talk to Alec as often as before, and she doesn’t share her problem with the yin fen even though Alec noticed something was wrong and is clearly worried. As the episodes go on, Alec becomes more sure of himself, while Isabelle reaches her worst situation ever and questions herself more often.

#Shadowhunters #Alec Lightwood #Magnus Bane #Malec #nephilimdaily #Isabelle Lightwood #Jace Wayland #meta #my metas #About Magnus meta #character development

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