#its been like 8 months or so right?

[seedlessmuffins]

.

#i think ive been burnt out for awhile #like exhausted nothing makes me happy anymore burnt out #i know i need to work to be able to afford things but it is so much and my job is so draining in every way #i feel guilty because i was late to work today i slept through my alarm #but it is because im so stressed all the time my body just doesnt respond anymore #ive worked like 8-13 hour days every day for the past two months and at this point im tired #i dont know if i can do this anymore but genuinely if i dont i will not be able to afford school next year #its a struggle #and then i feel guilty not answering texts or asks even though i love getting them and reading them #because i legitimately dont have the energy to reply #its also why ive been a bit less active but i dont have the energy for it #it makes me feel guilty which makes me feel worse and just sends me deeper into the spiral #it will get better but im not at the positivity place yet #it will get better but right now it fucking sucks and i am absolutely bone deep exhausted and tired of waking up #im in an ok place but i just need to be taken out of time for a bit #k.

[todayisafridaynight]

having my Art Specialty be described as 'daddies' is technically not wrong but also its very hard to not scream when being told so to my face in the dorm lobby regardless. like im just supposed to accept that description with a smile and nod as if i dont know we aren't thinking of the same kind of daddy

#snap chats #HEEEEEELP #like its one thing to be told that online but right to my face where im looking professional and Not Terminally Online is a whole new thing #i went to watch spiderverse with my dormmate and her friend- the friend that wanted to comm me last week #and because our mutual friend fucking sucks dick at being on time we had to wait for her even tho she invited us ANYWAY-- #last time she was looking to get one of her gal oc's drawn but then she went to look through my other art #and she really come back to me like 'ive noticed you draw really 'daddy' characters SO :))' and i heard NOTHING ELSE AFTER #LIKE. LIKE YEAH BY TECHNICALITY YOU ARE RIGHT. I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT DRAW FATHERS FOR FIVE MONTHS #god has it really been five months 🧍‍♂️ #but anyway..... //screams// ive been profiled as a dilf specialist by someone at school i need to leave NOW #i thank god every day ive essentially stopped postin my saucier works cause THAT woulda been an even more awk convo #its just so funny cause i really havent drawn anything particularly 'attractive'. like im just drawin these dudes bein silly LMAO #im just grateful she doesnt have a twitter or tumblr so she doesnt see me post EVERYTHING in real time yk #anyway... im gonna stare at the wall until i relent and go to bed #spiderverse was great 8/8. its really funny that i've watched both spiderverses multiple times cause of school events LMAO #ok bye

[kathrynmjaneway]

.

#the way that ive known my boyfriend not even for two whole months and weve been officially together for a month only #but ive already been invited to two weddings and a birthday party #its wild to me #and its also sooooo so nice #bc all his friends are genuinely so happy for him #and everyone ive met so far has been so nice and welcoming and open to me #and like i havent even met the guy who invited me along to the birthday party #also just in general. #life is really really good right now #like i finally feel like im finding some inner peace and have the time and space to calm down and just live life #the past 5ish years have been hell and so stressfull and anxious and full of isolation and panic and one prolonged crisis that were all #the final exams of my 8 1/2 years of lawschool and becoming a lawyer #and now its all just. Good. #and he is a big part of it #he showed up just at the right time #and its weird to be all like that after A Months #but its a if you know you know kinda thing #And i know he feels the same #because he keeps telling me how he feels and thats how he feels and aaaahhh #im all mushy about this #i wont see him for 4 whole days bc im gone for a long weekend and thats actually the longest amount of days we havent seen each other #since our first date #it was 3 whole days between date 1 and 2 #and i dont think we even had that again since then #personal #i am genuinely so happy and in peace and its just the nicest feeling #okay anyway thanks for tuning in #bye

[elytrafemme]

ok just to like paint a picture so. today i woke up at 9 and went to my morning class (was a little bit late) then i got brunch and canceled therapy (was a whole Ordeal trust me..) for like an hour or over idk, then i went back home to work on this research paper & got some food from a local café, then i went to a meeting i had and then walked to my friends workplace and we walked back and then i kind of have just lazed around and im watching my friends show from 1-2. and then TMRW i have a thing early afternoon & a d+d session for like five hours until 10 pm basically and then im probably sleeping in bc of the whole 1-2 thing. And then tmrw i have basically nothing but i then have to call my family bc i havent in a while and i need to do all of my homework. so needless to say this has been a hell of a semester start

#nightmare.personal #There is a 2 week period in which i have an event every other day #so like when ppl talk about not really having freetime in college like #i spend a good amnt of time w my friends Like a lot of time but also. solo time ? very little #On mon & wed i have back to back 3 classes i wake up at like 8:30 w like tiny breaks in between so like #i have my big friend meal right after bc of the back to back ness (on wed i also get dinner later w other friend) #and then immediately after food i go to my friends dorm and we study for like whatever like basically the entire night bc it just- #-devolves eventually to socialization ? #And then tues thurs i have big gaps and later class starts BUT i also have been scheduling like office hrs #but those days r fine and a lot more solitary. and i get a super nice breakfast But like past that ? #idk. idk! i have so many fucking org things like i have shit on tues nights now 2 a month #and then my other thing and its like. Its all worth it but also fuck fuck fuck u know #so its been exhausting. fun but like. idk I need less shit on weekends i think #like i need to do work on sunday but also zero socialization

[bobmckenzie]

ok i don't know WHAT kind of brain fart I had but I've been thinking today marks 6 months since I started shipping with Bob... IT'S NOT SIX DLSKJFKSF IT'S EIGHT 😳😳😳 8 MONTHS!!!

so today i learned i don't know how to count but idec bc it's my 8 month bobiversarry lol ❤️

#(sorry there's basically a freaking diary entry in these tags damn) (needed to get my thoughts out ig lol) #i really am so grateful for him and doug. which i get could sound really silly to ppl outside of this community lol #but they've helped me through the past 8 months and have made me smile even when in the worst moods :'3 #even putting the selfshipping aspect of it aside they just make me happy !! #i honestly CANNOT believe its been that long already though... time has freaking FLOWN by since sept #but actually thinking about it in that way makes me oddly motivated? like that post abt how #'the time will pass anyways.' like i could have done A LOT in those 8 months but... i didn't 🧍🏻‍♀️BUT #there's 8 more months right ahead of me to make use of. like i've been really wanting to learn music theory and production #and im scared bc of how much time it will take. but I started studying a few days ago... and in 8 months i'll have 8 months of experience #idk it's just a comforting thought #like maybe even just in 4 months on the one year bobiverssary (lol) i'll be able to look back on today #and be like WOW i learned SO much since then and made so much music etc. just need to manage my time better all around. #bc of course i also need to do my actual JOB aka finish my next novel and prep for selfpub #cause i'm excited but not nearly ready 4 when my current contract ends. idk if it'll get renewed or not but i'm cool w either outcome 🧘🏻‍♀ #UMMM. i didn't expect to ramble that much LMFAO sorry i was caught off guard by the passage of time ! 😳 #peanut butter and jelly donut #caitiechat

[capricores]

happy new years guys!! i hope you're all having a wonderful day/night so far <3

i'm not sure about everyone else, but it really doesn't feel like a typical new year! i think with the heaviness of the mars & mercury rx (especially considering the signs are inconjunct, which makes things extra tough), it kind of just feels like another day!! if you have a day chart, you might feel extra impacted by the mars retrograde as compared to night chart babies. definitely take it easy if you're feeling off/stressed/etc, and perhaps use january as a time of reflection, and focus more on putting plans into action in march! (or, in january - if it feels right for you!! but if you feel overwhelmed or lack motivation for any sort of resolutions or planning, just know you aren't alone, the sky right now is a bit "heavy")

personally i tend to celebrate the new year as per the astrological new year (aka first day of aries szn as the new year) which feels extra right because that'll be around the time mars is no longer rx nor in the shadow period!!!

anyway!! how are you all feeling?! any thoughts about 2022/2023, plans/etc?! personally the only thing on my mind rn is genshin impact girl groups, and relaxing as much as possible in january until mars and mercury chill out!!! 2022 was rough!!

#luna.txt #would luv to hear how u guys are feeling!!! #esp how ur feeling + ur rising/dominants?! #if u have any q's about astrology or current transits or just anything im here!!! #im working on some posts finally!! and i decided im gonna offer readings in january!!! #ive spent the last month reading even more astro books #ive studied astrology for so many years but this month i somehow feel like #ive learnt more in a month than i have in 8+ years studying omg #not really but you know what i mean fdjlkfjdf #i might make a post asking y'all preferences re: readings?! or maybe ill just go for it idk #idk about u guys but 2022 was one of the hardest years ever for me?? #and it was mainly bc internal? like not that many external things happened idk?? #it was a 12h solar return sun year for me.. hated that! #worst sr sun ever for me #my panic disorder relapsed right when mars rx entered it's shadow omg its been so rough #but starting to feel better slowly!! but still hard to learn how to live w/ panic again!!! #part of why ive been so ghost from this blog :(( #BUT I MISS IT<3 #i also considered making a girl group and maybe genshin tumblr too!! #cause i have like 1.2 friends who like that stuff and i need to yell abt it anyway #ANYWAY HI if anyone feels like talking in my ask.. come rant abt ur year or astro or anything ily

[the-kipsabian]

do you ever love so much you internally combust and just cry uncontrollably

#im sorry im thinking about kip (im actually not sorry and it will happen again) #i just need everyone to understand. how much he actually means to me. how much watching him perform and do his thing makes me feel #how happy it all makes me #its been almost to the date (+2) 8 months since he returned. i just looked at some old posts and im just #this was right after the weekend i met him so maybe i was riding on an ever more emotional high than usually but i had so much love to give #and i still do. like that hasnt changed. hell i might have more love to give now even #just. i cant explain it. just what he does and who he is means everything to me. i dont deep dive study this character and this man for #nothing. i dont talk about things to the extent i do for nothing (it is for fun but its also the one thing that keeps me going in this life #fr. as sad as that might be lol) hell i dont have him permanently inked on my skin for nothing #theres just. so much about this that mean the world to me. its ridiculous i know but it also gives me so much happiness and hope in #this world its the one thing i know i can count on without a doubt #just... yeah. i love him. theres no better way to say it #im emotional nobody look at me for a while #this post is a mess sorry #night is an absolute mess on main

[vitamin-zeeth]

Just had to third wheel for like 10 hours today if I see a single romantic "___ bf X ___ gf" post ever again I'm going to blow up a building

#if i have tl fuckinh look at a single couples post on any social media i am going to go on a killing spree #god that was awful i almost cried when my other friend showed up 8 hours in #AND THEY HAVENT EVEN LIKE ACTUALLY SAID THEYRE DATING TO ANYONE #RIGHT #BUT ITS SO BLATANTLY OBVIOUS LIKE FFS I KNOW FOR A FACT THEYVE BEEN DATING FOR MONTHS IM NOT AN IDIOT #AND SO I JUST HAD TO SPEND A FULL 10 HOURS WITH THEM AND NOBODY ELSE AND OH MY GODDD I CANT TAKE IT ANY MORE #my othr friend who showed up later on i actually dont think has realised. hes just not clocked it hes kinda oblivious to that typa shit #but look its not even putting 2 and 2 together its putting 1 and 1 togethrr at this point jesus CHRIST im going insane #and im not even gonna mention my thoughts about theur relationship thats a whole other rabbit hole but fucking hell #im never doing that again theyre both great and a lot of fun wheneber its not just them and you #i understand the hate towards pda couples on another level now that was HELL i would literally rather snog a dead fish than do it again #wet floor sign

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#looking at the notes ppl in the lab let me on my birthday card. it seems ppl think i should chill the fuck out lmao #a lot were like RELAX!!! and ya kno objectively theyre right but i refuse to listen bc theres something wrong in my head #sigh. i survived the day at least. the timed measurements r done on this experiment. thank christ. and my birthday gathering as so #i dont kno. it was kinda funny and kinda sad i guess. bc i knew it was gonna happen and i didnt want it to but i was like fine. ill meet #at 4. and i expected it to b in the conference room but they set up outside the lab around the corner. so they did kinda surprise me #location wise i guess. i cant imagine what expression i was making. it felt like a pained smile but idk. i had to go back to take #measurements every 4min so i was standing there with a plate full of ice creame cake. kinda away from everyone while they talked. staring #at my phone timer as it ticked down and abruptly leaving when i had to log a measurement. i was basically a non entity while there. which #was kinda idea bc i have too much hurt inside to talk to ppl right now. as evidence by my phone call with my parents when i got home. im #just kinda a bummer to exist around rn. idk maybe i should apologize to my boss bc i kno im not an easy person to do things for #and i really do appreciate the effort. its just hard when i kno how much stress its going to cause me for someone to attempt to do #something they think will b nice. so idk i just feel bad. but its over. and idk what ill do tomorrow. i should do stuff for when i move #like my dad was like: u should prioritize ur future stuff. and hes objectively right. they think i should get a studio apartment which #would b expensive as fuck but i will destroy myself if i have roommates. idk. theres lots still to do bc i have to get a ton of data #processed by the end of the week bc i have 8 days of measurement on another project that needs to get done by may 14th when i leave for #vacation. which my mom was like did u buy ur tickets for next month and i was like. hm how do i ask where im supposed to buy tickets to #without giving away that i dont kno what ur talking abt? bc apparently im going to a wedding? wtf do i wear to a wedding? #idk. i guess im just kinda sad bc this month has been really hard. i made it hard for no reason bc theres something wrong in my head and #that hurt has nowhere to go bc i cant even give anyone an honest account of how awful it was bc its like what r they gonna do abt it? #anything i say is just worrying bc i cant seem to stop myself who whats the point in talking abt it. but idk humans r social creatures so #when im in pain at least part of me wants someone to brush my hair and acknowledge my pain and tell me itll b ok #but idk. the idea of that happening is different from the reality where i seem to opperate at a different frequency to other people. we #just dont seem to properly connect. idk. idk what ill do tomorrow. im afraid to loosen my grip on my schedule bc i might fall to piece #pieces without the pressure. well see. lets home my 26th year is better than my 25th was. bc last year sucked #hope* lets hope that was my low point. bc that was not a fun time and im worry to take account of thr damage done #unrelated

[genderentvy]

I have anxiety about a lot of things, including everything

#anxiety #this was supposed to be about how my anxiety spikes whenever my former graphic design professor contacts me in any kind of way #but it was funny just like that so i left it #anyway he keeps adding me to groups where students and former students can keep in touch and share and critique work #and im like help #i have nothing to show you because ive been working on the manuscript of my novel for the last 8 months instead of using my degree #which i am also anxious about #although jk i have designed a banner and aome posters for work so i guess i could share something but theyre not even that cool #theyre nowhere near the level of cool or interesting that i believe this professor has come to expect from me #graphic design #lol the alternate graphic design is my passion tags that show up #graphic design is my prison #graphic design is my burden #getting panic attacks thinking about getting a job in the field you went to school for is totally normal right #its not a sign or anything

[scalpelsister]

.

#posting here to explain my jinx posting without like. venting in some poor gif makers tags #but basically. goodbye by ramsey came on in my mix and that reminded me of my ex qpp / childhood best friend #and how the day before my birthday marks. 8 months. of not having her around and in my life #like to give context: we met in kindergarten. we where like. 5 lol. #like we where very close for 16 years #/I do not really remember being a person without her at my side/ #and ive been doing the thing I do where I dont really unpack things? like I had my little heart break when it happened obviously but #I then was like. well ok no more crying lets get on with it #and i am just starting to realize that I have not been getting on with it and also that this is perhaps going to be a bit hard to unpack #and come back from #and i am also wondering if this isnt having fun exciting new bad consequences on my social skills #and how i am interacting with. literally everyone. #like literally if you know me right now I am so sorry holy shit lmao #i also do not have any support group anymore. like this is not me asking for one from internet strangers its just uh #a bit worrisome that I have no therapist no very close friend no parental figure or family member who can fill those roles for me #like my dad financially helps me and I am grateful but I havent seen him sober in weeks. months even. and also he is only interested in the #woman he met. he literally probably spends more time with her kids #than he does with me #and theyve been dating for less than a month #with his last gf he literally was constantly going on about her kid like it was his kid and i was a work friend #like cool just say you dont love me and would kick me out if you had the heart to next time actually. #so yeah im having a really good good fun normal time right now :) #my post

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

.

#its 6am and im awake!! (not good) #ive kind of shifted my sleep schedule to be the worst it could possibly be #yesterday i slept from 8-9am and then 11am-5pm #and thats kind of where it's settled. whoch is not good #my roommate who is a sleep scientist says thats going to kill me and i believe that because i already feel like im dying #its just so nice to be awake for sunrise tho! and i couldnt wake up this early so my only option is to stay awake to see it #i think ive seen the sunrise more in the past two weeks than ever before in my life #on a note that feels related but probably isnt- im moving in may. in two months #'but austyn i remember you moved this time last year' youre right! im bad at staying in one place!! #im moving back in with my parents because this city is expensive and i need a year to figure my life out #i didnt think i was going to make it to 18 and thats now fucking up my life #how is it fucking up my life? because i made no plans for anything past high school and instead have just been bouncing from thing to thing #trying to make a life when i thought i would be dead. so i moved and moved and moved again and now i have no money no prospects #no drive no plan no ideas no future etc #so thats all catching up to me and im gonna take a year to save up and get on my feet and reconnect with my psychiatrist and restart therapy #my psychiatrist is gonna be mad that i just went a year with no meds but its fine. just remembered i should try to set up an appointment now #okay gonna set up an appointment at 8 when they open. shes a very in demand psychiatrist. and idk if i can go back to her after a year #theyre very nice there so im sure theyll help me figure it out. so im gonna get my mental health bsck on track #eventually fix my sleep schedule maybe. idk its just a year to figure everything out but its difficult to move again #i hate moving. ive said it once ill say it again. moving kills a part of your soul. especially moving back in with your parents #just gonna be venting about this for awhile actually #maybe ill go for a walk at like 7am cuz the weather has been so nice lately i love it #ive been walking part of the way home from work because its so nice #i truly just dont want to sleep. i want to do things but i dont have the energy to do them. yknow. this sucks #anyway. gonna tey to get my life together but so far im doing pretty bad

[toaster-selfships]

Cannot wait to have today over with, getting through work and getting the yummy food I've been dying for

Uuhhh slight rant in tags? Kinda just butthurt complaining. I didn't know I was gonna have a whole rant but I'm just gonna leave it as is

#i wish i could speedrun this weekend. i got a 3-10 shift on Saturday and...hbhhhggggggg. I just want it over with!! and to relax #and do nothing all day #alas. not my first 3-10 shift surely not my last #not to mention summer hasnt started yet it always gets unbelievably busy in summer. but i wont have to juggle school and work then #probably doesnt help that i dont really like the job or schedule i have for it right now but i cant really change it cause i have to- #-schedule around school and not many places hire people under 18 #i can at least relieve myself of this job when i turn 18. its a whole story but I will be free then and smooth sailing till i am OUT OF HERE #getting through work by thinking about what food i want is on my break is so nice. great strategy #lucky for me though work has been going by a lot more quickly lately. it used to drag on forever when i first started #i guess its more so just the knowledge of putting like 8 hours there and getting home and only having enough energy to sleep just...sucks #i am so not a night shift person. maybe evening shift depending on when it ends but im 100% a morning shift person #am i 18 yet. particularly 18 after ive graduated and im free and zero complications happened with me graduating #febuary is almost over. just a few more months yall. and by few more months i mean my birthday is all the way in december #so i got the rest of the year

[fakecats]

guys this cold weather is changing me ive been grinding every single day. working on my website working on my p5 fanfic trying to finish my comic . im gonna release so much shit all at once

#the fanfic is very much not finished #its the longest thing ive written so its gonna take a while LMAO its gonna be at least 5k words #as for my website i forgot to code so itll also take a while #AND MY COMIC #been working onit for like 8 months #its just a short one shot so nothing fancy but #sending 'read my comic' beams into all of your brains right now #i have no idea how to advertise things btw so if you see me comic posting then thats what im tryig to do #laurence says things 🌌 #my post 🔮

[certainchopshopcheesecake]

Me after learning ive been taught some of the main stuff in my sport wrong for the last 8 years

#I MEAN I HAVENT BEEN HEAVY DUTY OVER THE 8 YEARS #Skipped like a year between being really busy and a broken arm #BUT I WAS FEELING DRAMATIC OK #i mean my friend has it too (we found out at the exact same time) #thats what i get for being like ½ self taught ig😭😭 #i havent even started learning the right way and its been like 2 weeks #but its so cold outside yk #TIME FOR A INSPIRATIONAL TRAINING MONTAGE #i mean apparently when ive retrained myself ill play better which is fun #thats fun #just trauma dumping yk😘 #IM BEING SO OVERDRAMATIC ITLL TAKE MY LIKE 3 MONTHS IF I WORK HARD #IF YOUR STILL READING #im being overdramatic #I WONT DIE #HELP I HAVENT CARED UNTIL RN #ive been chill abt it till now #why am i still rambling #byeees <3

[liinos]

Gonna be real yall I think the vets office is a tad traumatizing for me 👍

#had one of the most emotionally taxing and exhausting days in a while #im petsitting for my neighbor and i ended up having to take his dog to the emergency vet and was there for 8 hours #during which many Many people came to pick up ashes and that coupled with the fact that the last time we went to the emergency vet. you know #made it genuinely so hard to be there like on top of the fact that i knew it wasnt going to be great news #and then having to be the one to take the news that the dog has cancer which is obviously not a great prognosis... really rough day #and like having to see a lot of people coming in to put down their pets it was really really rough #and i feel really guilty even tho i know its not my fault the dog is sick and i couldnt have done anything #but like their cat went into kidney failure like right after they got back from their last trip when i was watching them #so it feels like im a harbinger of doom atp 🥴 #and i am and have been really frustrated that theyve been going on so many trips exactly because #i was afraid of something like this happening like you have a senior dog and you KNOW goldens are prone to health issues #their last dog literally died bc of undetected cancer while they were on a trip #and this guy has been generally really healthy and was acting perfectly fine until last night #but still hes old and its just so unfair to him that theyve been traveling so much #i think total over this year ive watched him for roughly 3 months and like. i personally think that if you have a dog #you dont just get to do whatever like you have a duty to your dog but especially to older dogs