#ive probably forgotten some things

[variousqueerthings]

aphobia in fandom can look like (all of the below are things ive seen):

villainising characters who reject romantic advances

reading aro characters as "psychopaths/evil" because of their aroness

reading ace characters as "childlike/immature" because of their aceness

generally the pathologisation of characters because of their aspec-ness, as well as demonisation of certain mental illnesses and nd-ness, which tbh could be a whole other post on its own

statements like "it would be sad if x character wasn't in a romantic relationship though" as a way of shutting down reading a character as aro (also seen said about canon aro rep)

aroness and aceness -- especially repulsed aroness and aceness -- is more "boring" than alloness

generally romance and sex (most often read together) as a way of "humanising" a character

generally seeing romantic relationships as the main happy ending for character dynamics, and any individual characters who aren't in a romantic relationship are worse off (pair the spares, but this time let's make it progressive)

(Only Monogamy freespace/overlap with bi/pan-erasure and polyamory erasure)

ignoring opposite gender dynamics that are well-fleshed-out in favour of same-gender dynamics that aren't, because that's "more queer" (read: hotter, but only for guys) (overlapping heavily with erasing women in narratives in favour of two guys that exchange 3 words with one another, and also bi/pan-erasure)

going real hard on "aromantic people can still date"/"asexual people can still have sex" especially around characters who have not been shown to do one or the other or either

in addition to previous point, these statements coupled with a clear lack of research in aspec terminology/theory/politics -- bonus points for using these talking points at irl aspec people who do know what they're talking about

getting angry at aspec people for "ruining the fun" when they point out that it's hard to be aspec in fandom/engage with aspec character reads in fandom/feeling alienated by fandom

good old classic regurgitated "this aspec person said it was okay for me to do this, so..."

good old classic regurgitated "these aspec people are normal, and these ones aren't, im only going to respect the opinions of the aspec people who "let" me do exactly what ive been doing the whole time, and im going to discount/mock/bully out of fandom the ones who don't"

convenient "it's not that deep" arguments only counting when it's aspec rep, ignoring many years of "representation matters" for other marginalised identities

comparing aspec identities to straightness, often in the framework of "headcanoning straight (aspec) characters as queer (not aspec -- and usually not bi or pan either)"

pushing smut at irl asexual repulsed people as "revenge" for them expressing discomfort (especially about characters who are popularly seen as asexual or are even canonically asexual) + "joking" about shipping even harder and creating more hardcore smut specifically in reaction to aspec people who don't want to see it

accusations of queerbaiting when characters are written to be aspec and/or ambiguously aspec

conflating bullshit "anti" purity culture with all of the above, either co-opting aspec people into wank (similarly to ace people being co-opted to "argue" for no kink at pride), or accusing irl aspec people who feel alienated of being prudes/antis/sex-shaming <- this also conveniently trotted out right after a "it's not that deep" argument. it's only not-that-deep when it's about getting to have fun without thinking about others, and it gets deep when that fun cannot be enjoyed thoughtlessly

#aphobia #fandom #this is probably the chillest blog i could have posted this on #thinking of a couple of other sideblogs where it may be less chill #but this fits under various queer things #ive forgotten some im sure #but anyway these are all ones ive seen

[kelocitta]

Tangentially related to some of the discussion i posted earlier but quiet literally the first RW Art Month i participated I did it completely on whim like, one day before it started. And I mostly did it because I hadn't drawn a ton of rain world and wanted to draw more. Fandom presence was a lot smaller than and I was one of a handful of artists who did the entire thing. Fast forward and I still do Art Month and I've gotten to work with VC directly. But it was quite literally something I decided to do completely on whim that set the ball rolling, and for something a lil more niche and certainly with a lot more dev/fandom art involvement than most. It's really random how and why you might get noticed more than usual, especially with the "toss it into the search and hope it pays out' mechanism of Socmed

#t.extpost #and im hardly the fanciest art month artist out there so it wasnt even about being a jaw droppingly talented artist or whatever #and while artmonth for rw is still given a huge focus its also a much much bigger thing now with a much bigger number of participants #which is cool! its awesome how many people i saw do most if not all of last art month! and VC is really good about not just repping the #most popular artists or fanciest pieces #but theres So Much More there now and while its great for finding artists its also impossible to get Everyone in there you know? #Although they absolutely try #And this is like. one of the most fanartist involved devs ive ever seen in terms of both celebrating the art their fans make and actively #bringing those fans in to contribute #and its /still/ hard to get going just because thats how Posting is #i used to be more of a hk artist which is both a huge fandom and riddled with stunning artists but theres So Many #and niche fandoms are niche so youre more likely to connect with people but less likely to see a ton of engagement regularly - #probably best example i have for that was being briefly fixated on patapon. #Its just messy to try and find the hack that sets you up #just have fun and jump around and make what you like #get a sense of feeling for your style and some people will stick around for that vs. strictly the subject matter #others will look up the thing you switched too and some wont engage #you cant really control it #so have fun and draw that thing you randomly thought about at 2 am that doesnt match your blog #draw for that forgotten rpg you liked when you were 15 or draw for the 70 player max steam game you played for this week #you never really know what will happen #but its not really worth worrying about what will happen either

[mukuberry]

what should the starting point be for someone who wants to get into milgram

Here is a very cute n simple slideshow that covers the basics on what milgram actually is and an overview of whats happened so far!

Pretty much all milgram content is on the milgram youtube channel! Except for the voice dramas and cover songs which are uploaded on spotify (though they're usually reuploaded onto youtube and niconico anyway so dw if you don't have it), interrogation questions which are uploaded onto the app and twitter, and all voting takes place on the website!

Unofficial milgram eng on twt tweets translations for all interrogation questions and other important milgram news and onigiriico on our beloved hellsite has all the voice dramas translated ^^

There's plenty of theories on whats happening in each video on tumblr but it's best to go through the videos and come up with your own ideas (I'd love to hear any you come up with :3). It might seem like there's alot at first but it's super easy to get into i prommy!!!

#chernikocore #thanks for the ask! #ive probably forgotten some things but i got the main stuff covered i think ! #srry for the delayed response ^^; welcome to the fandom if u decide to stick around ^^ we r kinda small but very very happy to have you!!!!

[the-yearning-astronaut]

I think.... over the last two days I think I've read just about every Murderbot fic on AO3 that meets all my (current) filter criteria... I'm pretty sure the only one I have left now is a 200k epic....

#halp #now what?! #*paws through my current list of prompts* #there's gotta be one here that'd make for a good place to start writing my own fic... #drawing fanart is great & all but there r Some Things that I *need* that just rn't possible for me to conceptualize in a way i can *draw* #the murderbot diaries #current filters basically include: must have MB and ART in the fic together in Some Way; no noncon; and none of my squicks #and even then there were some fics where id eye the tags and be like HMM thats definitely not my Usual but color me Intrigued #and i probably had about 20 pages to comb through but now im done and I'll probably go through them again but I'll definitely #be reading fics that just wont Hit the way i need/want them to rn #i was dumb and read them all while not logged in so idek how many ive read #ive been Spoiled by big old fandoms with Lots of canon and fanon and fic #ive forgotten what its like to be in 1) a small fandom and 2) a BOOK fandom #anyway I really wanna write but im a Scaredy Cat and i don't really have anyone to spitball with who will also enable me

[ezraphobicsoup]

From the ask game.

Do you have a favourite 80s song?

ooh that’s a good one!!

picking just one is impossible but some of my favourites (currently) are probably:

Party Fears Two - Associates

Street Tuff (feat. Rebel MC) - Double Trouble (i rediscovered this one recently it’s a banger)

The Tunnel of Love - Fun Boy Three

A New England - Kirsty MacColl

It’s a Sin - Pet Shop Boys (also shout out to like every other psb song)

Army Dreamers - Kate Bush (also shout out to like every other kate bush song!)

there’s more but these are some standouts i guess

#i had to make a full shortlist for this and ive probably forgotten some i like #shout out also to level 42 and new order and the selecter and the specials and new order and the smiths etc #looking through things though a lot more music i thought was 80s is actually 70s #anyway thank you for the ask this was fun!! #ezra likes music #ezranswers

[introverted-author]

Top five scenes from Stranger Things?

I've only watched it once, so this is going to be the ones I can remember off the top of my head. (These are in no particular order).

1. When Max is running from Vecna with Running Up That Hill playing

2. Any scene with Murray getting some romance happening between characters who are in denial lol

3. When Kali is mentoring El and gets her to move a truck (I think it was a truck...?)

4. How could I not mention Robin's coming out scene?? It meant EVERYTHING to me!!

5. When Vecna attacks Nancy and everything starts making sense (the Henry/One/Vecna reveal had me SHOOK)

#ive probably forgotten some #but heres a list haha #stranger things

[josecariohca]

.

#oh i forgot i had my queue going sweet here i thought my blog was dead for the past 3 days #i do need to disappear again bc alas adulthood calls me #BUT #im so happy i finally got the urge to write again and ive busted out like 6k so far today #by god i will get this fic done if it kills me #so far this thing is gearing up to rival the other uni au i have. idk probably around 30k??? #some absurd number for a silly oneshot #please keep me in your thoughts as i battle this fucking POLLEN THAT IS TURNING EVERYTHING YELLOW AND IS KILLING ME #mwah i will be back mutuals ily i am smooching you on the forehead #IF I OWE YOU A RESPONSE I HAVENT FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU i promise i will get to it eventually ghjkj please forgive me #personal

[bugsinthebayou]

waow. looking at former hyperfixations and feeling... absolutely nothing when you Know you would be feeling a lot if it had happened during the hyperfixation is....... well its. its a feeling.

#this is abt empi.res sm.p and he.rmit.cra.ft #and probably some other things that ive forgotten ajdksja #captains orders #the random dots are so that this post doesnt end up in those tags

[kitwing-moving]

wataru giving me his mask(wailing and sniffling super hard

#🐾.txt #I LIKE THINKING THAT. he'd trust me that much. even if im not the smartest and stuff i like thinking he could feel safe around me.... #id probably have it on my shelf next to other things i like and even if i dont understand all of the intent that was behind #wataru giving me her mask. but i think she'd notice how i always keep it on display and keep it clean. also dont tell her this but id 100% #cuddle with it when i fall asleep if ive had a particularly bad day and she can't be there #IDK i like thinking about this. her mask is an extension of herself shes giving it to me i always keep it well taken care of etc etc #i think she'd be so super happy. although one time ive probably forgotten to put it back up on my shelf after cuddling it while i nap and #she's seen. and id get mega red embarrassed and try to come up with some lie but wataru would just laugh and cover my face in kisses... tch

[themyscirah]

This is such a "nobody else has read this comic" moment but like. It kills me every day that we never see Simon's conversation with Amanda Waller in JLA (2013) #5. Like I NEED to know what she said to him in that room. He goes in fully intending to detach himself from all the drama of his origin arc and get the government off his back yet when he leaves he joins Waller's JLA (which is a different, rival entity of the JL at this time). And THEN in JLA comic he's not just on the team, he's one of the more pro-Waller/pro-authority members!!! Which doesn't sound like Simon!!! Like at all! But again this is the Wall we are talking about. And they had a private conversation together! For an unspecified amount of time! That we know nothing about! Like this is Amanda freaking Waller if anyone could say something to make this make sense it would be her. SO I NEED TO KNOW WHAT SHE SAID. but also also also we see ANOTHER change of heart from Simon towards Waller (and the government) in Green Lanterns #1! (I think.) Here he's shown being fed up as the government tries to manipulate him for information and to gain power and such and is like keeping tabs on him and his family etc. So obviously he's become disillusioned with this and is not happy about it, which is the kind of reaction you would expect from him! Like that actually makes sense!!!

So its like logically you figure that his characterization in JLA is bad (it is new 52) and doesn't make sense and stems from an ignorance of his character (who had been in literally 16 comics before this. Including cameos. Like bruh just read them) and that's why this doesn't make sense. BUT THERE'S STILL THAT CONVERSATION WITH WALLER. Like I want this to my sense so bad. And my brain knows what Amanda Waller is like like it KNOWS that something could have plausibly happened in that room to make this line up! Like it's Amanda freaking Waller anything could have happened there. I need to know what happened there. I will NEVER know what happened there.

#like its a new 52 comic it makes sense that it wouldnt make sense!!!!!!! but there is this GAP and it is driving me nuts #because if anyone could have said something to make this make sense it would be waller!!!! NEVER underestimate waller!!!! that is how she #gets you. also shadow government plots shes very good at those at well #especially when they explode in everyone's faces including her own #she still comes out swinging #grrrrrr no but this drives me SO bonkers because like AGGGHHHHH and its some random new 52 comic like no one cares but then #I am all like guys lets talk abt the Simon and Amanda Waller dynamic lets talk abt Simon and Waller like NO ONE KNOWS WHAT I AM TALKING ABT #like they met??????? yeah in a nu52 comic that i read in my quest to read every simon baz appearance #im 9999.999% sure dc has totally forgotten this comic existed. the writer probably has too. the only thing its notable for is causing drama #to lead up to forever evil. #anyways just oh my god. the simon and waller missing conversation is insane to me. what the fuck did they say?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! #maybe i go crazy bc of this bc theyre both in my top 10 on locg. like ive read a bunch of simon but ive also read ostrander + yale suicide #squad. which is the waller holy grail. and so i am vertifiably insane #only way for this to get more swishy self indulgent is to merge GL and SS even more and bring ben into it #i love ben he just dropped out of my top 10 and im devastated. i should read more ben comics. ive read a good chunk already hes not in that #many. also jess should be there. that would be even more self indulgent and make me crazier #suicide squad comic but you just stuff all swishy's faves in a room and expose them to the wall #wait shit this is giving me ideas now i dont have time for this LOG OFF LOG OFF #what was i saying again????? oh. #blah #simon baz #amanda waller

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

I've definitely got something going on up here but I don't have the confidence or the knowledge to say what

#like? i relate to adhd posts Alot. recently ive noticed that i relate to plenty of autistic posts too #and /some/ unreality things DO get to me #sometimes i genuinely even believe that ive suddenly changed dimensions and despite KNOWING full well thats silly #i wont be fully confident that everythings normal until i can confirm it (usually seeing my family's faces) #which like. thats not frequent. i cant think of recent examples. but its happened Enough for me to be aware it happens more than it #probably should #i cant drink water at all because of its texture? liquid density? idk but putting flavoring in doesn't help. i just cant drink water #sometimes ill get so worked up about it that drinking water will actually make me feel ill #i get Distressed if schedules are changed suddenly or if takes longer than planned #and if a question is like time sensitive. like sometimes some1 will ask my if i want to eat at x restaurant and give me 5 seconds to decide #and even if like small things change i get distressed. like. i Need to sit the left side of the table near the wall or window #uh what else what else thats notable. hm. more anxiety? i feel like its a normal amount #but apparently my parents feel its a cause for concern if they wake up with their chest feeling tight from anxiety #which was wild for me to learn #theres also the headaches but those are unrealted im like pretty sure they're from my casual caffeine addiction. but that does remind me of #the sensory overload! i guess thats what it is? idk idk i just know that sometimes i get especially snappish and irritable #but that usually only happens during the headaches. but. thats probably because the headaches lower my tolerance for sound and brightness? #oh! poor object permanence and the absolute worst memory. also can object permanence apply to time too because i notice that more #like something that happend a week ago will feel like a distant memory. like i haven't forgotten anything its just. distant. doesn't feel #like i did that thing just a week ago #potato rambles n speaks #somehow i usally just chalk all of this up to the caffeine problem #while simultaneously also convincing myself the caffeine problem isnt that bad (<- gets headaches if i go like over a day without caffeine) #the caffeine is dark soda. g help me and what i subject my poor body to

[fabulouslygaybean]

gerard way gender rant in the tags bc this is my blog so i get to talk abt what i want and it's been on my mind for a hot minute

#like... it just feels weird that ppl are taking them wearing a dress to mean that they've come out as transfem? #please tell me y'all haven't forgotten that clothes don't equal gender right. like a dress is not inherently Female #it just leaves a weird taste in my mouth. it would be 110% fine if he WAS transfem but it feels weird to just assume #he has talked abt how he relates to trans women and that he's struggled with gender and that's valid!! im not denying any of that!! #but they've talked about how they dislike applying labels to himself and i feel like im the only person who finds it weird that ppl are - #- so quick to jump to the nearest label the moment he wears something more gnc than he usually does #also like.. its one thing to say that they're probably not cis. which is very true #but another thing to be so adamant that he's a 100% binary trans woman that it comes off as more intrusive than anything #they probably aren't cis. they've struggled with gender and use he/they pronouns and use some typically feminine terms to refer to himself #and it's fine to look up to him when it comes to gender!! i admire the fact that he's so open about it and i find comfort in knowing that - #- in a way he's kinda like me!! they love their trans fans and don't rlly consider themselves cis but also hasn't said anything about - #- using the word trans to describe himself. and those things can coexist. there can be a gray area between cis and trans #idk man. it just feels weird. i dont like how ppl force labels onto someone who has made an effort to avoid labels. #are they probably queer? absolutely. im not denying that. is it still weird that folks are being oddly invasive about his gender? yeah. #we're allowed to talk about his relationship with gender/sexuality + how he's always been focused on making a welcome space for queer folks #but acting as if it's Written Fact to assume he's a binary trans person is just. weird. #to clarify: this isn't me being mad at anyone in particular. if you're one of the folks who talks abt them being transfem then whatever. #im too tired rn to have any kind of beef with y'all. in the end we all basically know nothing. the only one who understands his - #- relationship with gender is gerard themself. im no expert. im just some queer teenager on the internet. #ive just seen it being passed around and i needed to type this out for myself so i can figure out WHY it was making me uncomfortable #nobody's obligated to agree with me or to even pay attention to this. im rlly only writing it out for myself and myself only. #im keeping the reblogs turned off though bc i don't wanna start fights over it

[sirotras]

list of things i want to get done before dawntrail, for posterity i guess

Nadezda:

mhach raids (oops! never done these)

werlyt quests (oops! also never done these)

enw tribal quests

relic weapon

tataru's grand endeavor

Isolde:

alexander quests (for yshtola)

mhach raids (for exactly one top)

hildibrand quests

relic weapon

myths of the realm raids (only one left i forgot to do)

Cella:

catch up on story

mhach raids

hildibrand quests

relic weapon (probably only to the second lvl)

ninja to lvl 90 (already at 72 i think?)

myths of the realm

pandaemonium

Mel

nothing she gets to chill

#meredith plays ff14 #i never did mhach bc when i first went to do it i was still too nervous #to do alliance raids besides what was required #and by the time i realized it was nbd id forgotten them #and ive avoided werlyt bc. i just do not like gaius and i know some of the things that happen and. ugh. do we have to #ill probably take cella thru the mhach raids first bc the top i want for her cold weather glam is from that #and ive TRIED to settle on others. but i cant.

[gibbearish]

theres a kickstarter i backed back in march 2021 thats been going through issue after issue during the production process but has been keeping backers updated the whole time and a couple months ago they announced they were finally able to start shipping orders im excited

#had it been a scam it wouldve been fine bc as soon as i give money to things like that i just consider it gone forever so i take the #possibility of that happening into account when deciding whether or not to buy something and when i backed it $115 was Not Hard At All #that was like. two days' worth of tips at most? three if you picked really slow days? #so as far as im concerned i dont have $115 worth of money up in the air right now waiting for repayment #i simply donated $115 to a cool project almost three years ago and now will get a time capsule of a present in the mail at some point #BUT all that being said i dont think its a scam shes been very transparent and accommodating the whole time #like i couldve gotten most of my order by now if i wanted‚ there were wallets that came with the bag and they were the main problem point #bc the manufacturer she used first was Garbage but she wasnt able to get a refund from them #so she offered to ship out everything except the wallets to anyone who wanted it they just had to cover the shipping #n i was like. i dont /need/ any of this it was 100% a fun little treat for me so it being late isnt like. a problem #so might as well save like $20 its win win #and a bunch of people did take her up on it and have been posting abt the quality and they all seem legit #its very funny that ive had to update my address with her twice though KSBDKSBDKDN #and the extra benefit is it really will be a little time capsule present because its been so long ive forgotten most of what i ordered #like i know theres a bag and a wallet and some pins and i think one other thing? #but i dont remember the details of what they look like really or esp the pins i dont remember anything except they were there #maybe the other thing was a popsocket? that sounds probable #anyways. soon it will be bag time>:3c #oh and ofc ppl who didnt order the wallets have already gotten their orders shes not making them wait for us kwbdkshf #so theyve been posting reviews too #im pretty sure 'just refund me for the wallet and give me the rest' was an option #i don't remember for sure and don't want to dig through all FORTY TWO EMAILS to check but id definitely be way more salty abt #the whole situation if they hadnt because thatd be shitty #im bad at remembering things but good at holding deserved grudges so the fact i dont have one tells me she didnt #love having to fuckin. sherlock holmes my own past lmao #but yeah as is im just like. i cannot imagine how much it must suck majorly to be in her shoes so she can take as long as she needs #like a while back i had someone order a thing off etsy ans it didnt notify me at all so they emailed me like a month later like #'hey any updates on my order?' and i was like. FUCK #and i felt terrible for like a month afterwards and gave them a bunch of free stickers to make up for it #and that was yknow. one person who ordered $6 worth of stickers

[deadsetobsessions]

Tim had forgotten, in his one man (and the admittedly liberal usage of hired guns) crusade at everything that had hurt his family, that he was technically a child. A time traveling 21 year old Tim Drake in his younger body, sure, but he’s still a nine year old child.

Tim was violently, unpleasantly reminded of this as he opened his front door to… Gotham Primary’s truancy officer.

Oh shit. He still had to go to school. Tim scrambled for an excuse.

“Hello, Timothy. Are your parents home?”

“Uh- no, sir. Only my nanny. I’ve been really,” think, Timothy, think! Are you Red Robin for nothing? “really sick. She went out for some medicine.”

Tim knew what the officer saw as he looked down at him, a pale, drawn little boy who looked like a sickly Victorian child. He has no idea that Tim had the beginnings of lean muscles and strong grip strength underneath his baggy clothes.

“I see. I’ll have to talk to your nanny, then. We need to be informed of when you’re ill, Timothy.”

“Oh. She-” shit, shit, shit! “Doesn’t speak English.” Was that racist? That felt racist. Gods, he probably sounds like a snobby classist elite. “I’ll let my mom know to email you, sir?”

The truancy officer sighed. By Tim’s lucky stars, he agreed. The man pulled out a singular paper from his plastic folder, clearly used to this kind of thing, especially from the elites of Gotham, and said, “Email the school. And have her sign this note, please.”

Tim nodded seriously. Like hell he would.

When the officer was gone, Tim closed the gate immediately. He had forgotten to close it after getting back home from stalking the Bats last night. Well, Bat, singular, because Jason was still benched.

Tim sighed, grabbing a pen to fluidly forge Janet Drake’s signature on his paper about truancy and proper procedures and what not. Then, he moved to the computer, easily stealing his mother’s credentials, emailing the school about his sick leave, and their decision to have him home schooled.

He’d miss Ives, but honestly, Tim needed the free time. Plus, maybe this way, he’ll graduate high school this time around. He drafted another email to the counselor, asking them what kind of curriculum and tests he needed to pass to obtain future degrees and what not.

He gets an email back, with all of the testing required and the steps “Young Timothy” should take in order to succeed in the rest of his academic career. Tim would like to point out he’s nine, and that this was pretentious. Helpful, sure, but pretentious all the same.

“That’s what people don’t mention about time traveling. It’s all fun and games until you get hit with the mundane and tedious things.” Tim muttered, setting up his appointments for testing. He’ll have to find someone to drive him to the tests…

His mind turned to his neighbors… hm. That’s a possibility.

Tim wiped all traces of his activities from his mother’s email, doing a quick and hidden bit of rerouting to get any educational emails regarding him sent to his own inbox.

Tim swigged a mouthful of coffee and continued on his merry way.

His new goal?

Find Cassandra Cain.

#Tim drake #Timothy drake #Batman #red Robin #time traveling tim drake #time travel fix it #scheming tim drake #Tim drake vs truancy officer #listen I went to a private school #they legit called me ‘young’ in an email to my mother #Tim drake vs the education system #Tim Drake and his mortal enemy: school #tim: I will never finish high school

[iamthescalesofjustice]

fairly recently i encountered some fnv content again and had a sudden jarring re-realization that fallout new vegas is an actual video game, which has been experienced by other people, and has an associated accompanying fandom, rather than, as i had subconsciously come to classify it, a peculiar sort of psychosis i experienced during the period between by father getting a stage 4 cancer diagnosis and the months after he died. 

#cancer mention cw #genuinely i almost completely lost two years of memory surrounding these events #and the role that fmv played in my life during that time was. probably better described in terms of #horrifying yet transcendent psychological alchemy than anything else #it was not A Game I Got Into so much as a base ingredient and lens and catalyst for some eldritch emotional processes i was experiencing #the use of the word psychosis up there is flippant but not wrong. i do have a history of it and i was very much experiencing psychosis then #fnv wasnt The psychosis but it was a major factor in it at the time #iirc i think i avoided involving myself in the fandom bc both it and i were undergoing severe volatility #i barely had the resources to get a handle on my own problems let alone internet peoples problems #anyway several months after he passed i abruptly shut down all fnv related mental processes i could and then #well okay i did still lose the next several months after that as well barring a few scattered memories but i know i had like completely #forgotten it existed at all outside brief moments that were quickly lost #i guess its been enough time that the radiation levels attached to all that have gone enough to think about any of it again? #anyway i know everyone has a secret better version of it in their head But Also i did achieve the 49th level of awareness tho #my secret better version of fnv that lives in my head is so much better than the secretbetter versions of fnv that live in yalls heads etc #joking but very much it was a thing where others were honing their understanding and art by following known paths and clashing blades with #each other while i was in a pocket dimension of accelerated time with my arms cut off having to survive against beasts and shit #developing powers the old masters didnt think were possible like a shounen protag and all that lmao #anyway thats why ive only ever posted about like. pared down versions of 1.5% of whats ever gone through my head about fnv #i didnt want the radioactivity out there or for people who dont have the context to try interacting with me about it