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soitmightgetweird · 7 years

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Close Quarters

Bucky x reader

Summary: Your day goes from bad to worse when your car breaks down after a messy mission and you end up stuck with the one team member you always fight with.

Warnings: swearing, arguing, self-doubt. a side character tries to get rough with you (they do not succeed, but it might still be tough to read).

Word Count: 3048. Wow.

A/N: This one has been sitting in waiting for a while. I’ve been really hesitant to post it because it’s different from everything else I’ve posted so far. I hope it’s okay.

"I am blaming this disaster of a day fully on you," the man in your passenger seat grumbled.

Great.

Not only was the mission way more complicated than it should've been, you were currently sitting helpless as your car slowed to a stop in the middle of nowhere. You thought you'd repaired the gas gauge but apparently it was only a temporary fix. So you just sat in the driver seat with a hurt expression as your car completely betrayed you by not telling you it was low on gasoline, leaving you stuck on some mostly deserted back road with the one team member you didn't get along with.

"That's not fair," you said, glancing over as Bucky crossed his arms and slouched down in the seat.

"Life's not fair, buttercup."

You hated that he did that--called you names that would've been cute under different circumstances. Frustration bubbled up as you looked to your passenger seat. "Well maybe if you hadn't been constantly griping over there, I might've noticed it had been a while since we last stopped."

"Whatever. It was stupid to take a car anyway."

You huffed and brought your hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose. "The jet would've been too obvious; we discussed this."

"Maybe I should've just tried harder to get paired with anyone else instead."

The sudden sting of tears behind your eyes was completely unwelcome, leading you to twist around to grab your bag out of the backseat, desperate to get away before your emotions got the best of you.

No one knew you'd been struggling lately with being on the team. Truth be told, you didn't really want to bug anyone with your insecurities. It wasn't the physical strain; you could manage the fighting. Your head was the problem. You were spending too much of your down time focusing on all the things you could've done better during missions. And it wasn't a quick reflection when you returned home; it was laying in bed for hours wondering why you made the decisions you did and why they were probably wrong. It didn't matter that no one else seemed to doubt you (aside from Bucky), it was still how you felt.

Maybe you requested field work too soon. Perhaps you should just go back to working in the compound. And dammit it hurt to hear your teammate shit on you, even if there was never positive interactions with that person anyway.

You cut your eyes at him as you grabbed the handle on your door. "You're an asshole, you know that?" The next second, you were climbing out and slamming the door behind you before stomping off down the road.

The disaster of a mission you'd just completed played over and over in your head as you stalked down the road. Sure you got the intel you needed but that was about the only thing that went right. You had a killer headache from getting smacked with the butt of a gun, your ankle hurt a bit from getting kicked during a fight, your burner phone and comms were fried courtesy of a short-range EMP blast, and you were leaving your car on the side of a dirt road and hoping there was a vacancy in the sketchy little motel you passed ten miles back.

Ugh. Just the thought of walking ten miles with all your gear slung over your shoulders made you want to scream.

The sound of insects and a light breeze surrounded you until you heard a car door slamming in the distance. Guessing Bucky was finally following you, you kept walking without glancing back.

He finally fell into step beside you a mile later. Neither of you said a word, which was fine with you. With as much tension as there was between you, the conversation probably would've quickly escalated to screaming anyway.

Night had fallen by the time you both made it to the decrepit looking motel. You really didn't want to stay there, but you'd seen exactly zero vehicles on the road as you made the trek from your car so there'd been no opportunity to hitch a ride.

The room was tiny and reeked of mothballs and lemon furniture polish. There was a hideous orange and brown couch that was probably 40 years old next to a small table with a chipped laminate top. Little brass lamps sat on the bedside tables and bathed the room in a dull yellow glow. Faded curtains hung in front of the window, so at least the room offered privacy if nothing else.

One bed. Wonderful...

You jumped when Bucky tossed his bag on the couch then stalked across the room and flopped onto the bed, turning onto his side and away from you.

"Turn on the air, would ya?" he called over his shoulder.

"Would it kill you to say please?" you shot back as you walked over and pressed a button on the ancient looking window unit. It made an awful rattling sound that you were almost positive meant it was about to explode, but then it clicked a couple times and cold air began blowing into the room.

Looking across, you saw there was enough room on the bed for you to lay down as well. Most likely not a conscious decision on Bucky's part. His breath caught when you sat down behind him.

You were genuinely surprised that the phone had a dial tone when you picked up the receiver. Calling the compound, you left a message with FRIDAY detailing where you were and what had happened. The AI informed you that everyone else was still on their own mission, but she'd pass the message along as soon as the comms opened again.

Bucky was quiet the whole time, and hoping that meant he would continue to keep his mouth shut, you turned the lamp off and curled onto the bed facing away from him, your knees slightly hanging off the edge.

"Um. What are you doing?"

So much for silence.

"I'm tired, Barnes, and I'm not sleeping on that couch. I don't move much, so I won't touch you or anything. Just... leave me alone, please?"

Of course you weren't able to sleep. It shouldn't have been a surprise, considering the day you had.

Bucky's breathing evened out within ten minutes of silence and darkness and you were more than a little jealous that he was able to calm the thoughts in his head enough to rest.

After an hour of staring at the ceiling, you eased off the bed and padded over to where you'd dropped your bag. You removed layers of clothing until you were just in underwear and your tank top then pulled on a pair of cotton shorts. Maybe you'd sleep if you were more comfortable.

Much to your dismay, the pajamas didn't help and you still couldn't clear your head enough to doze off. To add to the moment, the little window unit finally decided it'd had enough and powered down. Five minutes later, the room felt stuffy and miserable.

With a defeated sigh, you got out of bed again and grabbed the little bucket next to the sink. You remembered seeing an ice machine in the breezeway between the two sections of the motel. With any luck it actually worked and would at least solve one of the problems.

You grabbed the key and crept out of the room, trying to be as quiet as possible. Just because you and Bucky didn't get along didn't mean you wanted to wake him up if you could avoid it. You knew he'd struggled with sleep for a while too.

See, I can be considerate sometimes.

The little bucket was almost full of ice when your body was suddenly shoved against the machine. You let out a grunt as the bucket fell to the ground, scattering the ice you'd collected. Before you had a chance to react, your arms were wrenched behind you and gathered in a strong, vice-like grip.

"What d'you say you come back to my room with me, sweetheart?" your attacker sneered in a gravely voice.

You shuddered as his breath fanned across your neck when he leaned closer. "What do you say you fuck off and you won't regret this?" you growled back, glancing at the man over your shoulder.

The man hummed. "Well, at least this'll be fun."

As soon as he started to drag you backwards, you brought both legs up to the ice machine and pushed against it with all the force you could muster. The pair of you stumbled backwards until he collided with the wall behind him with a loud thud. The air left his lungs in a harsh cough and his grip loosened just enough for you to pull your wrists away.

You'd barely taken two steps when his hand grabbed the back of your tank top and pulled. A sharp cry of pain left your lips as he kicked at your ankle, taking you to the ground. You threw your palms out and kept your face from colliding with the rough concrete, but you still felt the scrape against your palms and knees. You managed to kick back and made contact with his thigh, making him stumble back once more, but the lull in the fight was short as he came back at you once more.

The man reached down and grabbed your arm, hoisting you onto your feet. You'd barely regained your sense of balance when you were shoved forward into the ice machine again. He was moving much faster than you expected, and that paired with your exhaustion meant you weren't fighting as well as you should've been.

You turned around, arm raised and prepared to deliver a punch, but his fist connected with your stomach first. You gasped as the breath left your lungs. A lightheaded feeling washed over your body and felt your knees give out. The next moment, the man had wrapped a hand around your neck and lifted you back into a standing position. You pushed at his chest but were too weak to put any distance between you and you were too close to move your legs up to kick at him.

His grip tightened and you gasped. Spots were creeping into your vision from the sides and you felt yourself starting to panic. Bringing your hands up, you desperately alternated between trying to loosen his grip and clawing at his wrists. You reached for his face, hoping you could jab his eye or do something to surprise him enough that he'd drop you but the restricted air flow and fatigue were working against you.

There was a flash in your mind as you cursed everything that went wrong throughout the day from the mission to your car to the ten mile walk with a pain in the ass to your lack of sleep to this asshole...

The man tightened his grip more. The spots around the edges of your vision were quickly morphing into darkness; you knew you were about to pass out.

There was a faint mechanical whir in the distance and a sudden loud crack immediately preceded your ability to breathe again.

Your legs gave out and you slumped to the ground in a fit of coughs. Your vision came back in patches, in the same way it had faded out before. Once you were able to focus, you realized Bucky was in front of you with the guy pinned against the opposite wall. He was speaking in a dangerously low voice and had his metal hand wrapped around the guy's neck.

"Let's see how you like it, huh? It's not so fuckin' pleasant, is it?"

The man was a picture of complete panic. You'd thought your attacker was a big guy--but not compared to your teammate. He was rasping out apologies the best he could manage but Bucky was having none of it.

It felt like ages passed before you were standing again. A couple deep breaths later, you approached Bucky and placed a hand on his arm. His head whipped to the side and if you hadn't been paying close attention, you wouldn't have noticed how his eyes softened just barely.

"He's not worth it, Barnes," you croaked. "You're better than that now."

Bucky's chest was heaving as he turned back to glare at the guy and his reddening face. You moved your hand down to Bucky's wrist and pulled slightly.

With one final glare, Bucky dropped the guy unceremoniously to the ground. The wheezing and coughing fit that followed sounded harsh in the quiet of the night. It was a miracle no nosy civilians had discovered the scuffle.

Bucky had just stalked past you when the man on the ground spoke again. All you heard was "cyborg freak" when you reared back and kicked him square in the ribs and spit on the ground next to him.

This time, Bucky was the one pulling you away. The events really sunk in a few steps later and you ran off, seeking the relative comfort of the motel room. Bucky came in after you to see you curled into yourself on the couch trying to stop yourself from hyperventilating.

In a flash he was on his knees in front of you with this hands on the side of your face, asking you to focus on him as he talked you through a breathing exercise.

How had this been your day? How had everything gone to hell so thoroughly? You were right: you couldn't do this. Your doubts doubled in your mind, causing tears to roll down your cheeks and your breathing to become erratic once again.

Saying your name clearly wasn't getting your attention well enough for Bucky because a moment later he was pulling you to his chest and wrapping his arms around you. You reached around him and fisted your hands into the back of his shirt. The tears were falling freely now and it honestly just added to your frustration. You hated crying in front of other people. Less enjoyable still was crying in front of someone who couldn't stand you.

But...

"Bucky, I'm sorry," you gasped between sobs. You almost whined when he pulled away to stare at you.

The look on his face was one of pure confusion. "What- Why are you apologizing?"

"I-I screwed up everything today," you mumbled.

His eyes widened. "Don't you dare blame yourself for what happened out there. Or anything else from today."

You hung your head and pressed it against his chest, hiding your face from his view. He didn't say anything for a while after that. You just sat there, trying to control your tears and sniffling. There was a sense of peace in sitting in his arms which was completely foreign considering how the two of you usually were when together.

"Bucky?" you finally said, breaking the silence. Your head hadn't moved from against his chest and you felt the vibration of his hummed response through your hair.

"I'm not just asking this because of what just happened but... do you think I should pull out of field work?"

His answer was immediate. "Absolutely not."

"But I... I struggle. A lot. I don't feel like I make the best calls and-"

Bucky moved his hands to your shoulders and pushed away from you. He tried to lean down into your line of sight but you averted your eyes. Bucky wasn't often in your personal space and the closeness was finally making you a little nervous. There was a part of you that expected the moment to end suddenly and for the two of you to start fighting again. Finally, he brought his hands back to your face the same way he had before.

"I know my opinion probably doesn't hold much weight considerin' everything... but I think you're wrong. Steve trusts you without a shadow of a doubt and that alone should tell you you're fully capable of what you're doing. And I know I'm a dick but I... I trust you too."

Your eyes narrowed slightly as you stared at him, searching for any tells that he was lying.

"I do a real shit job of showing it, don't I?" he asked.

"You really do."

He sighed and ran a hand down his face. "You're kind of intimidating, y'know?"

You couldn't stop the bark of laughter that escaped. There was no way...

"You might doubt your abilities, but that's not how you present yourself. You exude confidence and that's... I was jealous as hell of that. So I'm... sorry if I contributed to that doubt."

You couldn't believe the seismic shift in your relationship with Bucky. Twelve hours ago, you'd been tearing into each other over the smallest things. Now things were strange and new--but nice. Things were... nice.

You didn't sleep at all that night. Bucky had been a calming presence for the next few hours, staying awake with you and occasionally making fun of the infomercials that took over late night television. You couldn't even begin to explain how thankful you were for what he'd done--not only for prying your attacker off of you but for being your anchor after.

You were almost back to your car the next morning when you heard the distinct sound of the quinjet approaching.

"Wasn't expecting anyone so soon," you said as the back hatch lowered and Clint stepped out.

The manager at the little motel had given you one of the cans of gasoline he had stored away for his lawnmower. Bucky had thanked him; you'd just hoped it would get you to the closest gas station. Not that you were complaining about the jet at all; it would definitely be the faster way home.

"Well we'd finished our mission early. I guess it's a good thing too; I'm sure one of you would've killed the other soon, right?"

The look of sheer surprise on Clint's face when all you did was grab Bucky's bag and walk up the ramp made you chuckle. It got better when Bucky just shook his head and asked if Clint would help him push your car into the jet.

"Who the hell are you and what did you do with my friends?"

Tags [are open]: @brighterlights @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19 @scarlettsoldier @canumoveyourseatup-no @feelmyroarrrr @shakzer00 @pixierox101

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x reader #bucky barnes one shot

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theprismaticintrovert · 7 years

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My First Day in Milan

June 21st, 2017

Today marks my first official day in Milan, Italy. I feel like yesterday could not have been the first day because we only arrived around nine o’clock in the morning, and then we had to wait in the airport for 3 more hours until some other students from different flights arrived and claimed their luggage. Not only that, we spent another three to four hours to get each other settled into our apartments. Then we went grocery shopping at a little supermarket just two blocks away from us, and it was very affordable too. Finally, we ended the night with some pizza and wine at a pizza parlor.

Since I signed up for this study abroad adventure, I was not really sure what to expect; in fact, I am kind of glad I did not try to guess because I would have had high or low expectations of this place. There really isn’t a reason why I decided to study abroad I guess it’s because I have always just wanted to travel and never have. So the only way I knew how was to do this. Luckily I had a friend my age who had done it two summers ago and she recommended that I should do it in my college career. And I did. However, if I am being totally honest here in my journal then I can say that I was not expecting to be studying in Milan, Italy that’s for sure. I was planning on going somewhere in Australia, London, or Argentina (Because my friend went to study there and it looked gorgeous on her Snapchat and Instagram I had to check the place out. Now fortunately my college only had one study abroad program this year and that destination was Italy. The reason I am saying fortunately is because like I said, I had no high or low expectations of this place, I really didn’t know much about Italy except for the fact that they have everything Pasta and Wine! Two of my favorite things combined oh it has been heaven here! The night before I left I talked to my grandma about the trip, and she asked me the simple question, “Are you excited?” But that wasn’t it, she was looking deep into my eyes because she then added, “Because you look like you are extremely nervous about it.” For some reason, her saying that made me cry out all of my anxiety and nerves that I had been bottling in since the moment I put down the deposit for the program. I then answered, “I am scared,” and her face just reassured me that everything is going to be fine. She replied back with, “Oh my, and here I was thankful you have the bravest soul.” As understandable as it sounds, my crying and anxiety did not allow me to know what that statement meant. It didn’t hit me until I began walking the cobblestone streets of Milan. It takes a lot of guts for someone to just live in a foreign country to study for a while instead of taking a vacation at home and going to the beach, or binge watching any Netflix show until four in the morning or once they go to sleep. No, I decided to buy a ticket and think to myself “Why not?” instead of “why?”

Upon arrival in Milan, I did not believe the side effects of jet lag until I have done it myself. Waiting in an airport for 3 hours, flying from Los Angeles to Miami, waiting once again for another three hours until we boarded our connecting flight to Milan. So a five-hour flight, plus a ten hour one, and nine hours of waiting equaled up to twenty-five hours of being fully alert and awake. I was only able to sleep about 3 hours throughout the entire day. We were all dying of exhaustion and jet lag and we still had to get our rooms in order and attend a welcome orientation and eat dinner. I saw so many people closing their eyes and dozing off I am sure the professors noticed and decided to cut it short because they kept saying, “I am going to make this short.” I was happy to hear those words but I was getting annoyed when I saw each minute pass on the clock and we were yet to get up from our seats and walk out.

The next part was quite interesting, for it was the first time I was going to take a look at my Italian apartment. First, let me start off by saying how cute and wonderful the girls’ apartments were. Well, each apartment had a small kitchen, a bunk bed, a small living area, a dining/study area, and a huge bathroom. It was cute and modern I kind of liked it that I was really hoping that the boys’ apartment would be just the same. Unfortunately, since not all of the apartments were remodeled, the only boys of the group (Carlos and I) had to get our own apartment just two blocks away (about an eight-minute walk). So our advisors of the group took us to the other location which I had already seen on Google Maps (I know I am a cheater) but I was so excited for what I saw. First off, there was a riverboat restaurant right in front of us, then a pizza parlor on the left-hand side, as well as a bar right next to it. I assumed we had it all. I thought wrong. Once the car parked in front of the apartment building with the local businesses surrounding it, I took the liberty to actually take in my surroundings. I am eternally grateful that I did so because before entering, there were these really big gray wooden doors. They were humongous but the funny part was that there was a cut-out door at the bottom that can open for anyone who has a key; it is so small and short that you have to duck your head upon entering in order to avoid a big red bump on your head. Once entering, the doors led to this beautiful yellow courtyard leading to either three different houses or the apartment building which had five floors with one apartment on each. We got the room on the second floor and I was dreading it as soon as I saw how narrow and steep the stairs were. But I managed, mainly because there was an elevator to accommodate mine and my roommate’s luggage and taking it up the stairs.

I have never in my life actually seen an Italian apartment, I have never in my life seen Italy period. So for the first time in my life, I was indulging in so many different things. The culture, the city, the people, and now my very own apartment. Once getting off the elevator, the doors opened on a big brown and white wall, and to the left was a veranda looking out to the houses and cobblestone streets that made this little heart of the city. To the right, was a big dark brown double-sided door that when opened, led to an all white twelve by twenty square foot apartment (I could be getting my accurate calculations wrong). First off, the key we got to open our door was huge it was bigger than the size of my palm and quite heavy too I might add. That is how ancient it was. To the right of the room, stood two all white clean twin beds, only they were right next to each other. I was already beginning to think how uncomfortable the situation was because of how the beds were put right next to each other and there were supposed to be a boy sleeping on each one. However, I did not mind it at the moment, like I said, I was indulging everything in until it could finally hit me. There was a large closet right next to the beds, and then an old green chair sitting by itself amongst the corner of a wall. Then a big white with a vaguely opaque glass door opens up to a toilet, sink, a shelf, a shower, and a small little bidet. In case some of you might not know, a bidet is a little sink in which you are able to wash your front parts and your anus as well. There was some fresh crisp all white towels, some soap, and shampoo. The little kitchen contained a stove, a microwave, a sink, some cups and plates, pots and pans, silverware, cooking utensils, and even an espresso maker. We had it all for an Italian apartment; the wonderful scenery, the restaurants and bars right next to us, and the beautiful canal which was beautiful to look at at night when the buildings’ lights reflected on the water.

Now the next part was to go grocery shopping and buy the rest of the things we needed for our little apartment. We were not the only students going to the supermarket to buy all of the things we needed. We found one about a couple blocks away from us that had everything we can think of. If I can remember correctly it is called Simply. Just like that, and we walked in only to find some escalators leading down. Once walking in, the smell was familiar, almost that of a supermarket in Mexico. Once we hit the first floor, we saw a security guard and about eight cashiers checking people out (they are always overstaffed here in Italy). Everything is so crowded and fast-paced that it was almost impossible to look at everything I needed to buy; I almost forgot half the things I needed on my shopping list. We bought mostly food items, water, and some toilet paper because that was the most important thing of all. The way how the pricing worked was so odd. It felt like shopping American style only instead of a period between the numbers to separate dollars and cents, there was a simple comma placed in between (plus the Euro symbol). On one visit, I spent only 19 Euros, which is like twenty-three dollars. But then again, I did miss a lot of things that I needed.

Finally, to end the night, my friends Nely and Alexa, including my roommate Carlos and I decided to go out for pizza at the pizza parlor that was right next to us. Once we did, we walked by the pizza place not knowing a single clue of what to do; luckily, a waiter approached us and asked what we liked – in English. I was beginning to question myself if we really looked like American tourists. When we answered yes, he brought us inside to sit at a table. Upon doing so, he kindly handed us menus and offered us drinks. We all asked for waters and got them back in bottles. We were confused as if the bottles were filled with sparkling water but it was regular mineral water that actually tasted quite refreshing (way more than American water if I might say so myself). I looked at the Menu and felt a little overwhelmed with how many types of pizzas there were, along with other pasta dishes, salads, finger foods, and drinks they could offer. There was not a simple one like pepperoni or supreme which would have been easier for me to choose and indulge. As I scrolled my eyes down the menu, seeing all of the varieties and names like bufalo or margherita. Well I ended up choosing a margherita pizza because I read that all it had was tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese, and basil. Simple as that. My friend Alexa got the bufalo pizza after fifteen minutes and it came out a little different than she expected. First of all, she did not expect it to be a whole pizza, and I don’t think she realized that the on the bottom of each menu item stood a translation of the ingredients. The ingredients called for mozzarella cheese, spinach, and grape tomato slices; somehow she forgot to read that and was not aware until she got her food, she looked at it with big eyes. She was still able to enjoy it for she took off the tomato and spinach and only ate the cheese pizza without the tomato sauce. My pizza came out right after hers and I could not wait to dig in. The waiter put it down on the table in front of me and said “Bon Appetíto.” I saw it look a little different than I expected, there was hardly and I mean hardly any mozzarella cheese. I did not bother to question it and I decided to just dig in. Once I cut into my whole pizza and began to bite into my slice, I can say it was pretty hot but delicious. The pizza would have given me a total of eight slices and I was only able to consume four. I felt terrible because I did not want the cook to feel like it was not appetizing.

We realized our first day was coming to a close and we all went our separate ways. Nely and Alexa went their separate ways to their apartment, while Carlos and I went to our own and decided to call it a night. I showered, changed, laid down on my bed and looked up at the obscure ceiling overhead and thought to myself about how good it felt to be in a bed and not on a plane, walking around parts of the town, or listening to another lecture or orientation meeting. Jet lag hit me so hard for my first time, but let me tell you, so far it has been extremely worth it. I have been able to do some things I have been dreaming of doing; that is fly, travel, and live in a different country. The good thing about those types of dreams is that you can keep doing them, you can do them as much as you want because you never have to let your dreams go. I keep telling myself that it is pretty impressive I am studying in a foreign country, living in a foreign country, indulging in the culture, and last but not least, travel parts of the world I never thought I would see.

Until then!

Damian

#studyabroad milan italy students dream nofear adventure travel food

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