#like ya there are problems with getting obsessed with fandoms. i know. ive been there. but thats not a rare opinion anymore

[first-only]

You know, knowing that the majority of the world does not/ has not read fanfiction is such a weird thing to me. And I don't mean that in a 'why aren't people more like me?' or a 'those people are weird' kinda way

I guess it's just cause fanfic is something that is very important to me, and is something that has made me happy, it's one of my core interest. This isn't just related to fic, all of my interests are like that. Whenever I see someone who has no interest in art, or writing, or thinking up stories, it kinda of boggles my mind a bit. And I think it's because I, myself, could not imagine being happy without those doing those hobbies and interests. But other people aren't me, and that is fine! People have a wide range of interests, and what makes someone happy won't be the same as some other people. People are different, and that is a good thing

It is still something that's a bit hard to wrap my head around (which is fine, as long as I don't act like an ass to people who have different interests) but I'm trying my best

right on, anon! brains work weird sometimes but we do reign them in lol

this is actually a very interesting view to me (but valid! very valid!), because when i was like getting into fanfiction and fandom in general it really wasnt that popularized ya know? like very few people knew this niche interest and social group existed, and there was this intra-culture view that all this is sort of a secret, that this is 'our space', its 'just for us'. (taken as a mantra from rpf ofc which is a good practice). so i never expected anyone i didnt meet in such spaces specifically to even /know/ they exist, let alone enjoy them. ive had this situation with a friend with whom we'd been friends for like over 2 years when i casually (accidentally maybe i dont remember anymore) mentioned fic and they literally jumped out of their chair like YOU KNOW WHAT FANFICTION IS?!?! it's still hilarious, we were actual friends for /two years/ and we never revealed our Secret Society cards to each other lol. but yes as it /is/ getting more popular now its more understandable to assume people would've at least heard about it, but still many people and places where its not that much of a thing! that and a lot of people dismiss it as 'cringy' and worthless and obsessed fangirl work which. wig ig lol. and even in more fandom-adjacent circles you'd see people /surprised/ when a fic is actually good bc they never gave fandom a chance, and just dismissed it as a cringy hobby (which is also fine but no need to be patronizing ya know). Personal experiences will shape the way you think of things

as for weird brain refusing to understand rational concepts - i had this meet up with reality when i studied coding. i was in a novice class with a lot of other people and some of them just... didnt get it. not necessarily the problems themselves, but like.. the essential idea of /how code works/. it was very weird to me. they insisted i must have previous experience to catch on that quickly, and well i did, but they were stumbling at the first steps, something that never gave me pause. i was really really shocked then, i just couldnt believe people couldnt grasp a basic function, and i realized i was coming off as a bit patronizing myself. it got to me that i was expecting more of people that just didnt have the perspective that i did. that prompted a whole discussion on How People Think, because it was obvious that these people not getting code were definitely not stupid, this was just a way of thinking that didnt agree with the way their thought process worked as whole. so in this discussion a lot of friends shared a bit of the insides of their minds and it was fascinating - i tend to think with words and images, visuals appearing along with a strong internal monologue. but my friends shared about thinking in concepts, in feelings, with no imagery at all, by association and memory alone. when asked to describe how we think of a specific object we all described the thought process differently ("i think of where it is now" "i think of who it belongs to" "i think of what it would be like to touch it" "i think of what color and shape it is" "i think of what personality it would have" "i think of how i feel about it" etc etc). so what im saying is.. brains weird. brains different. dont punish yourself for your brain deciding that an experience has to be universal if its so helpful to it personally. as long as you realize that emotions and actions and needs and rational decisions are different, albeit connected, all's good. brains man.

#ask

[archer3-13]

i think ive always prefered cody and pretty much every other clone commander and or captain over rex is because rex is too purposefully written as the ‘cool’ clone captain for me to actually think hes cool, and that said coolness is more so there to cover up that his actual character is kinda inconsistently written. And not like in the fun way but in the aggravating way.

take cody for instance, despite codies somewhat minimal presence who is cody? cody is the guy who gets shit done, hes dry witted in his banter and he generally maintains an air of professionalism overtop that dry wit. Fans tend to place him as a mother hen but id argue thats not entirely true because cody is okay with taking pretty big risks when the situation calls for it. If anything id argue that cody as he is presented is generally the type who cleans up instead of showing off, less packing the lunches and more so cleaning the dirty laundry if that makes sense. Or rather, hes someone who feels and or is acutely aware that the grunt legwork is more important to the larger war effort then the grand heroics, take the risk if you have to but try to take the more practical option when ya can. And i think that says a lot about codies general mindset towards things.

now take rex. Who is rex? rex as first presented is someone who enjoys taking center stage and showing off in front of others. Certainly he has dashes of war veteran and seasoned captain thrown in for a good mix, but as hes shown to us captain rex is a man who well not suicidal very much craves glory and heroics in a similar manner as anakin. He also deifies the idea of brotherhood in the clone ranks to an extreme. All the clones do it to a various extent, but rex especially is a character presented as extoling its virtues. In the episode with slicks squad for instance hes the one who makes it a point to dress slick down for betraying his brothers trust well cody more so focuses on slick betraying his duties as a soldier. And we see it again when rex meets a clone deserter farmer, in that case rex is upset at the violation of what he sees as the trust of the clone brotherhood as it were and its only when rex is becomes more acquainted with the mans found family that he firmly pushes down thoughts of reporting the deserter or enacting any form of punishment. Such examples also emphasize that rex is a very morally guided individual for both its good, in that he has a strong code of ethics and responsibility, and its bad, in that he has a tendency to think in extremes and absolutes.

And to clarify, i think this is a very interesting point to start rex off in as a character. Especially in light of rex’s efforts to present a degree of a han solo gunslinger image. when in practice rex is fairly far off from han solos own starting point as a character, han having started as a fairly amoral character more so concerned with his own safety and security then a broader sense of duty and responsibility, and generally viewing things with a fairly cynical eye and wanting to keep a relatively low profile despite his own troubles with the hutt.

So then what is the problem you might ask. The problem, as much as i can put my finger on it, is that i feel rex’s character arc never really addresses or incorporates these elements of his character in its progression. instead dropping these elements as it becomes convenient to do so well presenting the illusion of character growth and change. Its been a while since ive really dug into the show mind you, but even taking umbra into consideration i dont remember rex every really having that moment of reckoning in regards to his moral pillars that would in turn lead to him becoming more cynical. Instead he remains as staunchly morally guided as before with a belief in brotherhood, well also becoming more cynical and personally motivated at the same time. A have your cake and eat it as it were.

Which might have been interesting itself if that was the intention, the dissonance generated from such contradictory aspects resulting in a slipping rex. Especially within the context of a war narrative like the clone wars presents. But i honestly dont think that is the case since there really isnt a narrative constructed around it for rex within the wider series. Instead it more so feels like a mechanical device to keep rex likable without having him rock the boat too much so to speak. And thats possibly why hes never really clicked for me as a character.

That and ya know, rex being a fan focal point for pushing the fandom obsession with mandalorians onto the clones full force, and on a more petty level cause he keeps stealing cody’s screen time. commander cody deserved more screen time :[

#star wars

[katehuntington]

Title: Ride With Me (part two) Fandom: Supernatural AU Main characters series: Reader, Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer, Ellen Singer-Harvelle, Jo Singer (Harvelle), Benny Lafitte, Ash Miles, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Castiel Novek, and many more. Timeline: 2008 Pairing: Dean x Reader (eventually) Word count: ±5400 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family.  Summary part two: Jo picks up Y/N from the airport and doesn’t waste any time warning the intern for a notorious wrangler called Dean Winchester. When she arrives at Gold Canyon Ranch, she soon understands why. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music: ‘Broken Halos’ - Chris Stapleton (car scene) and ‘No Good’ - Kaleo (saloon entry). (check out ‘Kate Huntington’s Ride With Me playlist’ on Spotify!) Author’s note: Thank you @kittenofdoomage, @coffee-obsessed-writer and @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish for helping me. You girls are awesome betas.

Ride With Me Masterlist

     It stops raining just as suddenly as it started coming down, but the asphalt in front of the airport entrance still shimmers under the streetlights. Knowing that it's going to take at least forty-five minutes for her ride to arrive, Y/N treated herself to a cup of coffee from Starbucks, which she sips on while seated on her suitcase. Whenever a set of headlights approaches, she looks up hopefully, but up to now, all cars have passed by. With a bored sigh, she tucks her flat-ironed hair behind her ear and yawns, despite the caffeine she’s consuming.      She checks her phone again. “Come on, already…”

     When she looks up from the device, a black pickup pulls up to the curb. It triggers her to straighten her back and seek eye contact with the driver. As the car comes to a stop, a young woman has turned to look outside her downed passenger window.      “Are you Y/N?”      “Yes,” she responds a bit hesitantly as she rises.      The driver grins and signals her to come closer. “Well, get in. I ain’t got all night!” 

     Y/N smiles back somewhat nervously, draws out the grip of her suitcase and rolls it to the side of the car. With difficulty, she manages to push the heavy load in the open cargo area, making sure not to scratch the paint or spill her coffee, after which she hastens to the passenger-door and gets in. Before she settles down, Jo picks up her ivory white cowboy hat from the seat and puts it down behind her, offering her passenger a place to sit. As she does so and closes the door, the driver holds out her hand. Y/N shakes it, surprised by the strength of the young woman’s grip.      “Jo Singer,” she introduces herself. “Welcome on the Gold Canyon Ranch Express.”

     While Jo steers the car back on the road, Y/N takes her in. She’s slender, not very tall, but the confidence she radiates makes up for that. She’s rocking the ripped jeans and western boots, a comfortable loosely knitted sweater covers the skin that her tank-top doesn’t. The young woman has plaited her hair in a messy braid which falls down from her left shoulder. With one hand at twelve o’clock on the wheel and the other casually hanging outside the door, she averts her focus from the road for a brief second, turning to her passenger.

     “Sorry ‘bout the wait. Cattle just came in and Dad got a little caught up. He gets that way sometimes,” Jo apologizes as she lowers the volume of the radio.      “That’s okay,” Y/N assures, holding up her coffee. “I had company.”      “What is that, by the way? Do I smell cinnamon?” Jo eyes the coffee container as if it’s alien.      “It’s a Cinnamon Dolce Latte,” Y/N states before taking a sip.      “A what now?”      Registering Jo’s expression, she sniggers. “Cinnamon, coffee, and milk, basically.”      “Fancy.” The driver grins. “You’re from up north, right?”      “Yeah. Freeport, Maine,” she elaborates. “It’s quite a change of scenery.”      “I’ll bet,” the cowgirl behind the wheel reckons. “Ya’ll have pretty cold winters over there, huh?”

     Curiously, the new girl looks over at Jo. The Southern charm in her voice is rich. Her accent has a lot more soul to it than the ones she picked up in the arrival hall and the coffee place back at the airport. Not even the local taxi drivers who were chatting as they waited for a ride sounded like Jo. 

     “Yeah.” Y/N nods, answering the question after a beat. “Lots of snow too.”      “You won’t ever be cold in Arizona, I can promise ya that, Yankee.”      Y/N chuckles. “Yankee?”      “That’s what us Southerners call Northerners,” she explains. “Better get used to it.”      “I thought Arizona was considered the Southwest,” the intern says.      Now it’s Jo’s turn to smirk, as she gives her a side-eye. “Aren’t you as smart as all get out? But you’re right. My folks are from the South. The ranch belonged to my grandpa back in the day. When he got too old to work the land, Mom and Dad moved in to help and took over when he passed. I was born and raised here in Gold Canyon, but what can I say? It’s hard to lose the slang when you’re around a bunch of Southerners.”

     Jo continues to make small talk. Y/N doesn’t mind it, though. It’s nice to get to know the ranch owner’s daughter and at least there’s not an awkward silence dwelling in the old pickup. Easy conversation about the weather is soon traded for other subjects, like the ranch and the horses.      “Dad mentioned you’re a reining rider. What level are ya?” Jo asks.      “Debuted in Open a couple of months ago.”

     She tries to stay modest, but a proud smile forms on Y/N’s lips anyway. Hours of practice and years of training have brought her to the highest level in reining sport. When the letter from the National Reining Horse Association came in to inform her of the promotion from Non-Pro to Open, she remembered being so excited that she ran through the house screaming high pitched and hugged her parents so tight, she almost suffocated them. It took hard work, blood, sweat, and tears, but she made it. It all paid off.

     “Whoa, you must be pretty damn good then!” Jo responds, eyebrows raised, impressed.      Y/N doesn’t really respond, not sure how to take the compliment. Instead, she looks down at the coffee container in her lap. “What about you?”      “I’m not a reiner,” the cowgirl smiles. “I race barrel.”

     Now, it’s Y/N’s turn to be fascinated. Surely, reining is an exciting discipline of horse riding, but barrel racing is a whole other ballgame. She always enjoys watching it at the rodeo. The speed, the acceleration, the tight corners around the barrels, beating the clock, every fraction of a second counting; it’s the definition of thrilling.

     “What’s your PR?” she wonders.      Jo looks at her sideways, a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. “16.1 seconds.”      Y/N huffs, amazed. “That’s fast!”      The ranch owner’s daughter shrugs it off. “I’ve got a very good horse.”      “My grandfather taught me that a  horse will never become extraordinary unless it’s matched with a skilled rider.”    Jo smiles at those wise words and gazes at the road ahead.

     The beams of the headlights reach out several yards in front of them. Everything beyond remains in the darkness of night. Although the rain stopped falling down on the dry and thirsty land, clouds still shield out the frail moon’s radiance. They left Metro Phoenix about ten minutes ago and Y/N can barely see what’s out there, but what she can see, captivates her. For a girl who has never been to the southwest of the US, it seems foreign, not from this planet even. A pair of tail lights glides down the straight two-lane freeway towards an invisible horizon, while a few lights on the mountains give an idea of the relief in the east. Dust, sand, and rocks alongside the road are all that she can make out, joined with tall cacti and small bushes every now and then. This is the first time she has seen a cactus in its natural habitat. She didn’t know they could grow that tall.

     “You should stay away from those when you go on a trail, especially the little fluffy lookin’ ones,” Jo suggests, noticing her passenger’s amazement as she watches the cacti pass by. “There’s nothing fluffy about the damn things when you get too close. I’ve seen the most gentle and laid back horses go full bronc after running their ass into a ‘cholla’.”      Y/N chuckles; she can imagine that happening. Appreciating the tip, she turns her attention back to the driver.      “Any other good advice for my first day tomorrow?” She dares to ask, curious about what lies ahead.      Jo smiles at her, appreciating her eagerness. The girl beside her isn’t the first rookie to ask her this. To her, it’s a sign of insecurity, one that comes along with the lack of experience.

     “You didn’t do a lot of ranch work back in Maine, did ya?” she confronts.      Out of balance, Y/N looks aside at the driver, then averts her gaze. The gentle expression on Jo’s face should tell her that she doesn’t intend to make her feel uncomfortable, but she can’t help herself from moving in her seat a little, lost for words.      “How can you tell?” she replies shyly.      “Your boots are too clean,” Jo grins, nodding at the intern’s feet.

     Somewhat stunned, Y/N looks down at her shoes. Wanting to make a good impression, she polished the brown leather. Honestly, she spent more time cleaning them than she normally would before a show, but it might have been a better idea to leave them dirty. A blush warms her cheeks as she shakes her head slightly; apparently, she’s a little too eager to prove herself.

     “You got me,” she admits. “You’re right, I lack experience when it comes to stable work. But I really want to learn.”      Thankfully, Jo takes away the embarrassment and seems to appreciate her enthusiasm.      “Don’t worry about it. We had workers who didn’t even know how to pick out a hoof, let alone ride a horse,” she reassures. “You’ll be fine. Keep your eyes and ears open, your head low and if there’s anything you need, you can always come to me.”

     Slightly put to ease, Y/N smiles at her shiny boots. Jo is right; she will be okay. There is no need to be nervous about tomorrow, she’s not completely oblivious after all. And with the ranch owner’s daughter as her new ally, she feels confident enough to believe that she will manage just fine.

     A moment of quietness follows as the young blonde takes the exit and directs the pickup onto Superstition Mountain Drive, leaving route 60 behind them. Soft music comes from the amplifiers, a country ballad bathing them in pleasant tunes. Despite her insecurities, Y/N feels comfortable with Jo by her side, and as she glances over at her, a future image of them becoming friends forms in her head. It doesn’t seem unlikely, not at all. Her wit, her confidence, the joy that she seems to have in everything she does; she can appreciate that.

     “There is one other piece of good advice I’m gonna give ya,” Jo continues after a while. “And it’s very, very important that you stick to it.”      Curious, Y/N waits for a follow-up, eager eyes on the blonde cowgirl in the driver’s seat who waits a couple more seconds, underlining the importance of her message.      “Do not, under any circumstances, fall for Dean Winchester.”

     A little underwhelmed, Y/N’s facial expression shifts from confused to amused. She scoffs, for a second thinking she’s joking. Jo’s dramatic build-up prepared for a line she was going to remember during the tough moments while staying at the ranch, so it’s a bit of a downer when it resulted in advice on men.

     “Who’s Dean Winchester?” she asks, unimpressed.      “He’s a wrangler at the ranch,” Jo enlightens her. “Also a shameless womanizer who has broken more hearts than I can count. That bastard lures gals into his bed like it’s a fucking competition. Or in the haystack, his truck, the restroom of the saloon. Whatever place he finds fit to hump somethin’.”

     Y/N’s jaw drops, after which she covers her mouth to muffle her chuckle. And ten minutes ago they were talking about the weather. Well, that escalated quickly.      “I’m serious,” Jo underlines, noticing the cynicism in her passenger’s laugh.      “You don’t have to worry about that. That’s not what I’m here for,” she assures the ranch owner’s daughter.      “That’s what most of them say,” she returns, having heard this before.

     For a second Y/N observes her co-driver as questions start to buzz around in her head. What are Jo’s motives? Might there be something more behind what seems like just good advice?      “Did you…? Did you ever, you know…?”      Insecurity overwhelms her once again, disabling her to form a proper sentence. A little confused, Jo looks over, but at the sight of Y/N’s raised eyebrow and a subtle smile twitching at the corner of her mouth, it suddenly dawns on her what she’s getting at.      “What?! Oh, hell no!” She shudders in disgust. “Christ! He’s my cousin!”

     Y/N eyes grow large when she realizes what she just implied, but then Jo snorts and they both burst out in laughter. How this conversation went from climate and desert flora to sex and men puzzles her completely, but she’s sure that she just gained a friend. When both of them can talk again after another convulsion of giggles, Y/N can’t help but wonder about this wrangler with a reputation.

     “What’s so special about this Dean?”      Jo wipes away tears that came running down her face in the uncontrollable laughing fit she endured. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

     She switches on the turning signal and turns left onto a long driveway. Fenced pastures stretch out on either side, running up towards the hills. Cows are chewing their roughage at the hayracks, but look up when the headlights of the Chevrolet captures them briefly as the car passes. Up ahead, a wooden sign arches over the road. ‘Gold Canyon Ranch’ it says in bold capital letters. The pickup surfaces from underneath the sign and proceeds up the driveway, which fans out into a square. In front of a house - which is built from sandstone and has a red-tiled roof - Jo parks the car and turns off the ignition.

     Amazed by the setting, Y/N gets out of the truck and takes it in. Several buildings, all in the same architectural style, surround the square as well. The soft and easing sounds of horses rummaging around in their stables originate from a large barn to the right of the family home. Then there’s that familiar and soothing smell of the farm, although the scent that’s reaching her senses now is sharper, more earthy than she’s used to up in Maine. Then another sound draws her attention; the sound of a cheerful crowd and country songs. Y/N looks over the top of the Chevrolet and watches Jo walk over to a building complex at the other end of the square.

     “Leave your suitcase. Let’s fix us a drink first.” She hints at the saloon, from where the music is coming. “C’mon, I’ll introduce you to the bunch.”      Y/N follows in a fast stride, forking her fingers through her hair and straightening it out quickly, then she tucks her checkered blouse into her jeans, even though she just decided that she was going to leave it hanging over her belt. This is ridiculous, she scolds at herself. Why are you so nervous?

     She doesn’t have time to think about it, because when she’s about to catch up with Jo, the blonde swings open the double doors and makes her entrance. The musk of hard work mixed with beer and nicotine welcomes her, mingling with the lingering heat of the day. The music shifts to a new song, the guitars and a strong beat sounding through the space. Burning stares come her way as they walk into the saloon, making her feel like she got stuck in an old spaghetti western starring Clint Eastwood. Where is that cowboy to save her now?

     “Look what I found out in the rain,” Jo jokes, casually putting an arm around Y/N’s neck. “Our Yankee!”      Cheers rise from the group of men, glad that they made it back. Half-empty beer bottles litter the wooden surface of the table they are seated at; it’s clear that the party has been going for a while now, eyes getting hazy and laughs roaring louder. It’s a good thing that Jo basically drags her inside, because if she had been on her own, she would have frozen on the spot.

     A middle-aged woman with chestnut brown hair steps from behind the counter to meet them halfway. With a dish towel hanging over her shoulder, she approaches the new face, smiling genuinely.      “Y/N, this is my mom,” Jo introduces.      “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Singer,” Y/N greets, humble, remembering her name from the email exchanges they had to arrange her internship.      “Please, call me Ellen. Welcome. Make yourself at home, honey,” she says as her husband flanks her.      “And this is my old man.” Jo pats him on the back, triggering a mutter.      “I’m not that old,” he states, redirecting his attention to the new guest. “I’m Bobby. Nice to meet you. Sorry ‘bout the delay.”      “Oh, that’s alright,” Y/N smiles back at him, starting to feel more at ease.

     The family seems really nice, but the group of men - which Y/N assumes is the ranch crew - still curiously lurks at her. Intimidated, she lets her eyes roam through the bar, trying not to stare. At home she had her brothers to back her up, their presence alone usually enough for guys to take a step back. But yet again she becomes painfully aware of the fact that she is on her own this time.

     Her eyes glide over the workers and wranglers. At the far end of the table, a guy - who she guesses to be in his late twenties - looks back at her from under his cowboy hat. He has two poker cards in one hand and nurses a bottle of beer with the other, resting his strong forearms on the edge of the wood. Emerald green eyes seem to read her like an open book, taking her in with enough confidence in his expression to compensate for what she lacks. He puts his lips against the mouth of his beer bottle and takes a swig, slowly, without breaking eye contact. Did he really take his time or did her mind just process that in slow-motion? Suddenly aware that she’s staring, Y/N looks away and focuses on Jo again, who has continued the introduction.

     “This is Ash, one of our wranglers and in charge of the cattle. Don’t let the hair fool ya, he’s a pretty swell guy under all the craziness.” She walks behind him, peeking into his cards. “Wow, you really just raised with a two and a three?”      The guy next to Ash shoves two piles of chips forward, flashing the bluffer a big grin. Jo has settled between the two men, smirking at Ash’s annoyed face. Resting her folded arm on his shoulder, she turns her head and now puts a hand on her neighbor’s back.      “Benny Lafitte. Best farrier in Arizona. Also, a master on the ground when it comes to starting young horses.”      The man with a nicely trimmed beard tips his hat at Y/N, observing her with his blue eyes for a second before the ranch owner’s daughter moves on.      “Over yonder is Garth. Wrangler and our man in the stables.” She nods at the fragile built guy with dark hair, who shyly looks up and greets the newcomer. “He’s harmless, great mounted shooter by the way.”

     Jo straightens her back and folds her arms in front of her chest as she turns to her cousin. He doesn’t look back, though. His eyes haven’t left the new face, who forces herself to meet his gaze. After everything that Jo told her about this guy, she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of being the spectator for her discomfort and shyness. But my God, she gets why the girls swoon by the sight of him. He has great features, a few days old scruff adding to his strong jawline. Broad shoulders pull at the fabric of his jacket, his strong fingers running slowly up and down the smooth glass of the bottle. He looks like he just walked out of a Marlboro commercial, western hat and all.      “And this is Dean,” Jo states simply, observing them both.      As the guy in question takes another swig of his drink, he finally tears his eyes away from Y/N. The weight that was pressing on her chest is lifted and instantly she finds it easier to breathe.      “What? No catchy intro for me?” he asks Jo. “Now, I know it’s hard to describe a man like me with words--”      “Oh, I already described you just fine, Winchester,” she returns impudently. “Every girl about to encounter you deserves a fair warning.”

     Dean raises his eyebrows at that remark, not sure how to interpret the remark. His eyes flick back to Y/N again, startling her. She must have flinched, because her reaction ignites a grin.      “You know us now, but what’s your name?” Dean asks, even though he is already aware.      Pushing her self-consciousness out of the way, she speaks as clear as she can, not just addressing him, but the entire crew. “I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you all.”

     When their gazes lock again, the cowboy’s smile grows a little wider and he flashes her a short and subtle wink. It’s close to unnoticeable, had she blinked she would’ve missed it, but she caught it, alright. 

     “Your turn, brother,” Benny calls for his attention on the game.      Dean glances down at his cards once more. A pair of queens; surely he’s going along with the raise, but he doesn’t want to be obvious about his good hand. He shoves two stacks of chips forward to meet the stakes and waits for his friend’s response. Translating his expressions and possible tells, the blue-eyed wrangler stares back at him while dealer Garth unfolds the final card; a queen of hearts. Benny seems to ponder, but Dean doesn’t give him an inch. 

     The farrier throws in five more chips. “I raise with five hundred.”      “One thousand,” Dean counters.      Benny chuckles. He’s got to be bluffing, right?      “Fine,” he agrees, adding five more to the pot as he throws down his cards on the table for his opponent to see. “A pair of Aces.”

     A good hand indeed, but not good enough to win. Dean bites his lip, looks down at his cards, then back at the young woman that caught his eye. This time she’s prepared; Y/N doesn’t look away. All she does is stare back into those green orbs, standing her ground. Before it becomes obvious to the others in their company, Dean averts his gaze first. For Y/N it feels like a big win in this strange staring contest that started from the moment she walked in. The hand that Dean lays out on the table is his victory. Three of a kind just won him over three thousand chips. Interesting, how a queen of hearts in the last draw is the key to winning this game of cards.

     “Well, shit!” Benny laughs, leaning back in his seat and admitting his defeat. “Guess the next round’s on me then.”      “Let me pour you a drink, sweety,” Ellen suggests, bumping her shoulder into Y/N lightly. “You can use one after all that traveling.”

     A heavy breath falls from her lips as she joins the ranch owner’s wife at the bar. Ellen isn’t wrong. Boy, she needs a drink, but not because of the long flight. The attention from Dean, him looking at her like he did; it’s unlike any attention she has ever received. It felt exciting and suffocating at the same time. Unable to truly understand what she is experiencing right now, Y/N thinks about what Jo said. The words she spoke in the car are starting to make sense now. The way this man has a grip on her since the moment she laid eyes on him, throws her off. He shouldn’t be having that effect on her, she’s not that kind of girl, after all. She’s the kind that keeps her eye on the ball and doesn’t let anything distract her. And if guys would try? She would give them a run for their money. With three brothers, Y/N learned to stand her ground in order to compete with her siblings. She developed a smart mouth and isn’t easily intimidated by men. But somehow all the lessons learned flew right out the window the moment Dean Winchester laid eyes on her.

     “What are you having?”        The one person who got her drowning in her thoughts settles on a stool on her right. She glances aside at Dean, who has a gentle smile on his surprisingly plump lips.       “A beer would be great.” She turns to Ellen, who is waiting by the fridge for an answer.      The wrangler puts up two fingers as he makes contact with his aunt behind the counter, signaling her to double it. Skillfully, she flips the caps off the bottles and hands them over.      “Here ye go. On the house,” she insists, her expression gentle.      “Thank you,” Y/N returns gratefully with a slight nod of the head.

     As Ellen Singer leaves to join her husband, Y/N is forced to deal with the guy in the seat next to her. Conflicting emotions battle each other inside her chaotic mind. Working on this ranch is going to show her Dad that she can build a company worth his investment. It will teach her everything she needs to know about ranch work. She made an agreement with herself that she is going to use every second of her time to learn. Wasting it by fooling around with one of the wranglers does not fit in her schedule and it certainly isn’t going to deliver the message that she’s taking this internship seriously. But she cannot deny that a part of her is curious about this cowboy. He ignited a downright confusing interest, all that with a few lingering stares and a couple of words.

     When she glances aside at the handsome man, elbows on the bar while holding her beer loosely by its neck, Jo moves into her peripheral vision. With a stack of plates in her hands, the blonde cowgirl enters the area behind the counter and continues to the kitchen, but not before shooting her new friend a glare that asks her what the hell she’s doing and tells her to stop it right now. Jo’s good advice fights its way to the surface and Y/N’s common sense takes over again. Dean didn’t take a seat because he likes her, he took that seat because he wants to get laid tonight.

     “So--” he starts off.      “Just let me get one thing straight,” Y/N interrupts, “I’m here to learn about the ranch management, not to entertain you during lonely moments. You might be able to wind any other girl around your finger, but not me, so forget it.”      It’s out there before she’s able to stop herself. She doesn’t fully understand where the words came from and how she managed to gather the courage to speak up, but the harsh message is out, hovering between them and throwing her admirer off his game. Jo - who spied on them from around the corner - seems impressed and smirks, amused, before disappearing again. 

     She’s not the only one who is left stunned. Dean has raised his eyebrows and needs a moment to recover.      “In my defense, I was gonna ask you if you were looking forward to your first day tomorrow,” he says with a chuckle, rubbing his chin.      “I like to set boundaries,” she states, taking a swig of her beer.      “Apparently.” Dean clears his throat, collecting himself before he speaks a little lower. “Good thing I like to break them.”

     The charismatic man has turned towards her now, his hand holding the beer resting on the counter. He’s not hiding that this hard-to-get demeanor actually intrigues him more. His arrogance, on the other end, only fuels Y/N’s persistence to shut his attempt down.      “It wouldn’t really be breaking boundaries if I’m just a number on the long list of girls you picked up. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve had a long day and tomorrow probably isn’t going to be much shorter, so I’m going to get some sleep.”

     With those words, she knocks back the last of the beer and leaves the bottle on the bar. Before he can stop her, she hops off her stool.      “I’ll show you the way,” Jo offers, surfacing from the backroom again.       With a suppressed grin on her lips, she passes Dean, who watches the two girls walk away from him, flabbergasted.

     It’s then when the puzzle pieces fall in place. That little bitch... Jo just cockblocked him! He bets his lovely cousin told all about his intermezzos with some of the women that have passed through these doors. She just ruined a perfectly good chance to get together with the new girl. 

     Without giving him one more second of her time, Y/N starts to walk towards the exit of the saloon, followed by Jo. “G’night, everyone.”      They all reply, either with words or by waving, all but Dean. He lets out a sigh and shakes his head, turning on the stool to meet his beer again. It doesn’t happen very often, but his pride has taken quite a punch. When he looked at the woman that had him do a double-take when she walked through those doors, he could have sworn he saw her react to him.      Maybe you’re getting sloppy, he thinks to himself. Maybe you’re getting too old for this shit.  

     No, that can’t be it. Just because he’s heading towards those dreadful thirties, doesn’t mean he has to change the way he plays this game. Benny is half a decade older than him, he still lives like a bachelor and will most likely do so for the rest of his days. The intern probably has some history that causes her to act this way, a backpack full of misery; not something he wants to deal with anyway. Too complicated, at least that what he’s tries to convince himself of.

     “Hey, amigo? What’s that on your face?”      Ash looks over at the bar, observing the man who just got rejected. He shuffles the cards for the last game of the night.      “Oh, I see it too,” Garth acknowledges, pretending to be shocked by the sight. “That doesn’t look so good.”      Dean feels his cheek and casts a confused gaze at his friends as Benny starts to snigger.      “That’s one ugly lookin’ red handprint that’s swelling up, man,” Ash continues.

     Garth giggles, his laughter coming out in a high-pitched sniggering sound. By now Dean gets what’s going on and rolls his eyes. Who needs enemies when you have friends like these assholes.      “That’s gotta hurt, Chief. Want me to get some ice for that?” Benny adds, sparkles in his bright blues.      “Y’all can kiss my go-to-hell,” Dean mutters, unable to appreciate the banter.

     Now all three burst out in laughter and even Bobby can’t help but join in a full belly laugh. After the fun, Benny gets up from his chair and walks over to fill the empty spot beside him.      “I think this is a good thing,” he comments, his accent as gentle as Southern comfort. “It'll keep you sharp, a gal like that.”      “She’s quite somethin’, isn’t she?” Dean smiles at his drink.      “She ain’t easy, that’s for sure,” he agrees. “Good thing she ain’t the only lady friend in town.”

     Benny redirects Dean’s eyes to a beautiful dark-haired woman at the pool table. Casey is a guest that enjoys her time at the ranch every holiday, especially since most of that time is spent with a certain wrangler. She must have arrived just now, because he didn’t notice her earlier. Or was that because his eyes and mind were too occupied by someone else? It doesn’t matter, because when Casey makes eye contact before pocketing the striped number thirteen, the sexual tension between them is already stirring up. He might not spend the night between the sheets with Y/N, but he will be satisfied by the end of the night either way.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to like or reblog my work, shoot me a message or buy me coffee (Link to Kofi in bio at the top of the page).

Read part three here

#Ride With Me #Dean x Reader #Dean reader insert #Cowboy!Dean #Cowboy!Dean x Reader #Dean Winchester x Reader #Dean Winchester x you #Dean Winchester x Y/N #Dean x you #Dean x Y/N #Dean Winchester reader insert #Supernatural fanfiction #SPN fanfiction #SPN AU #Supernatural AU #Dean Winchester AU #Dean AU #Dean fanfiction #Dean fanfic #Dean Winchester #Kate Huntington

[dojaeism-archived]

Hello, hope you've been well! I've been very busy recently with a lot of things and it's been giving me headaches but other than that I've been pretty good! Ah, it seems more interesting than Psych alone because of how broad it is... I hope you don't hate doing it though, subjects get really tough if one doesn't enjoy them or detests them (the only reason I hated Physics; my teacher didn't do a good job at explaining it and I learnt everything by myself after school) - ❄️

im writing more for these asks than some of my assignments lmfaoo 😭😭

I'm good at Math and anything related to it, but for some reason I could never understand anything other than the formulas and problems in Physics hence why I went for Psychology only instead of Psychiatry... Oh, I'm sure once I reveal myself you can find a few things I've made; there were quite a lot but I got rid of my art sideblog because it was too time-consuming and kind of cleared my main a few months ago so there's like only 2-3 here, but there's some on my other sideblogs as well! - ❄️

I used to only make breakfast items or pasta before but now I learnt how to cook almost everything -once again courtesy of quarantine Lol- and I enjoy making any kind of dessert; but Cheesecake and Tiramisu are my favourite, along with Quiche! Among things on stove, I quite enjoy making dumplings and stews ^^ I've been okay-ish in the kitchen since I was little, but my sisters? A fire in the microwave, oil splashed all over the stove and the only thing they're decent at is fries + ramen - ❄️

but I think they'll learn as time passes! Ah, I don't gif exo that much; I think there might've been a couple sets before I cleared my blog but I gif 2 other groups mostly... there's this multi blog I need to post more on but since I've been busy I've barely had time to post there T^T that's where my nct and exo sets will go (if I ever get to making them) I took part in this event for the purpose to have an exo-l as a friend too; since I gif those I have friends in the fandom of the most - ❄️

Ça bien; je suis sur le point de le terminer bientôt et j'aurai un examen~ Non, ton Français va bien! It starts in November or mid-November I think, not too sure since it keeps getting delayed :( II used to only play Tomb Raider or The Uncharted; maybe a little NFS if I'm up for it haha so I get you... My friend plays Genshin so that's where I know of it from, she forced me to sit down and have a go but I lost interest too quick XD - ❄️

omg my dad always drinks tea! I don't think I've ever seen him sitting down without a cup right next to him; rare to catch him having water unless it's midnight Lol Ah, thank you :D things have been pretty okay but I guess once college starts it'll get more hectic than it already is. Take care! - ❄️

hellooo im glad to hear that you’ve been keeping busy but please don’t let that get in the way of you taking care of yourself!! but don’t worry, i definitely enjoy it!! its just that sometimes there’s that lingering question of “would it have been better if id done something else” ya know… but its all good! it sucks when teachers don’t do their job properly and end up causing students to lose interest in their subjects 😭

ohh omg im so excited to find out who you are now lmfaooo i cant wait aaaaaaa but how many sideblogs do you run??? it sounds like you have quite a few :0

its great that you’ve managed to get something out of this quarantine!!! i cooked a lot at the beginning too but now im just like.. eh….. i loveeee tiramisu but im not really a fan of cheesecake lol its too… (idk what the word is but like thick? like it gets sickening after u eat it too much LOL) but ive never had quiche :0 or stew actually HAHAHA omg but dumplings!!!! im obsessed with themkjjgfnklfg but i totally relate to ur sisters, when i was younger i wasn’t allowed in the kitchen when the adults were cooking cos they were worried id set something on fire lmfao but speaking from experience, they’ll definitely learn as they get older!

ohh its interesting that you don’t gif exo all that much, i don’t either even if they’re my ult group which is a lil funny except me thinks but oh well!! its cool that you joined this event to make friends tho, and i look forward to getting to know you better and us becoming closer friends hehehe what other groups do you gif for then?

CRYING BC idk why i didn’t expect the french reply when i started it 😭 but anyways bonne chance pour ton examen!! j'espère que ça va bien ~

ohh omg tomb raider and uncharted 🥺 reminds me of when i was younger and all my friends would play them hahah but tbh idek why im so obsessed with genshin, i literally played for like 14 hours straight over the weekend which is crazy since usually i absolutely have no interest in games at all 😭😭😭

good luck for college, make sure to rest well now especially since things are gonna get a lot busier!!!! take care 💗

#❄️ anon #exolsecretsanta #anonymous #replies

[shinidamachu]

Holding On And Letting Go - Chapter IV

Summary: Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Chapter IV

Word Count: 2180  Genre: angst  Fandom: InuYasha  Pairing: Inukag Format: multichapter  AO3 Link: 🌹  Fanfic.Net Link: 🌹

“I’m the one to blame and I know it. That’s the worst part.” InuYasha confessed to the dorment well in one of those nights, when he missed Kagome so dearly it was downright suffocating.

He would never forget the moment when she first taught him about the universe — how it was infinite and always expanding. He still remembered how small and overwhelmed it made him feel. 

Even now, that the memory was old and dusty, InuYasha felt the same. Missing Kagome was just like the universe — infinite and always expanding — and he was only himself, powerless and infinitesimal when faced with the immensity of it all.

“I shoulda fought harder for you.” The claws piercing his palm compensated the lack of emotion on the statement. “Not just that last time...” He shook his head, his brain flooded with images of the time they were forced apart and how he had been unable to do anything besides watch it happen. “But before that too. I shoulda told ya how much you meant to me, even though you knew already. I shoulda kissed you each chance I got. I shoulda apologized more.”

A lump housed in his throat as he recounted their journey on his mind, making sure to linger on the mistakes he made with the rawness of salt thrown straight into an open wound. Every argument they ever had seemed so pointless now, and yet, what wouldn’t he give for one more quarrel, if only to hear her voice again?

“And I shouldn’t have let you go!” All at once, the all too familiar anger started bubbling in the depths of his stomach, surfacing through his intonation. “What the hell was I thinking? That just because I wasn’t a selfish asshole for once, everything would be just fine at the end? It ain’t how life works! You’d think someone like me woulda learned that by now.”

Sitting on the grass, InuYasha fought the urge to scream in frustration. It was all bullshit. All of it.

“Before you, I didn’t use to do the right thing and we both know it. So why the fuck should I keep doing it now? ‘S not like it would bring you back.”

Deep down, InuYasha knew the answer. In the end of the day, her happiness and well being were way more important than his self-centered desires, and ultimately, he would never jeopardize all the effort he had put into becoming the man she showed him he could be — a man deserving of her. It didn’t mean he couldn’t feel sorry for himself, just a little.

“They already had at least fifteen years of you in their lives, but we... We didn’t have enough time.”

Part of him argued that it would never be sufficient, no matter how many lifetimes they got bestowed with. The other part reminded him of all the times he had pushed her away.

InuYasha acknowledged his greediness right then. Kagome had already given him more than he ever dared to dream and admittedly more than he deserved. Most of his kind would die without knowing so much as the prospect of love, while he had experienced it in every shape. Because of Kagome, he had finally found a place where he belonged, with people who accepted him. That should have been more than enough.

And yet there he was, asking for more as if he was entitled to it, as if every good thing in his life wasn’t as bright as it could be if she was around.

What an ungrateful bastard he was.

“I need you more than they ever could, anyway.” InuYasha went on, wondering why is was so much easier admitting these things when there was no chance for her o listen. “If you ever come back, I’d do everything different. No more wasting time, no more acting stupid. I’d even tell you how much I love your food and the way you smell, ‘cause I do, I always did.”

He once believed that Kagome was born to meet him. Now it looked they were doomed from the start.

“Just come back and see.”

If the Honekui no Ido was a Wishing Well, her wish would be him.

She knew it was selfish, but it was true.

There was nothing she cared about more, nothing else she wanted so fiercely in her supposedly fulfilled life.

Day and night, she dreamed of better worlds, where they never had to be more than a heartbeat away from each other. If she could, she would change her own, just to fit him in it the same way his Fire-Rat robe used to fit around her shoulders — warm and familiar — and he would know he was safe and sound. She would rewrite each cosmical rule keeping them from being together, speak over the prejudiced voices whispering their bigotry at them, shield him from the hurtful things he pretended to be indifferent to even though it broke his heart. And they would get the happy ending they deserved.

“All I ever wanted was for you to be happy.” Kagome remembered that day, swallowed by the sands of time, when she sat in the very well she now leaned against, and faced with these same emotions, asked InuYasha to stay with him. It was the moment she realized no amount of nasty blows to her ego could make her walk away. Her happiness was tangled with his. “And I promised you I would always be by your side. I guess things never work the way we plan, but I want you to know I would have kept my word. I still intend to.”

Kagome deliberately looked at the pile of books beside her. Most of them turned out to be useless, brimming with inaccurate information. A couple of few managed to carried interesting material and maybe Kagome could even teach Kaede a thing or two if she ever accomplished her main goal, but the rest were not written to be taken serious at all.

The girl, however, was no fool. It was highly unlikely that the solution she was looking for would be laying in a long lost book, and that just like in the climax scene of a hollywoodian movie, she would decode its manuscript, unsealing the magical time portal, consequently, reaching the anticipated joyous outcome, white letters rolling up the screen and lights turning on to reveal a clapping audience.

But what could she do except keep trying? The alternatives were way too depressing and she had promised him. She owed him — owed both of them — that much, and it gave her a purpose. Doing something felt good, even if something meant a new burn to a cauterized heart. What was a little drop of frustration for someone drenched on its rain? What was a little wave of sorrow for someone drowning on its waters?

It was also a good distraction from math problems and her oblivious — despite of  well meaning — friends. She welcomed those distractions as much as the lamppost lights that guided her way home.

Truth was, too many new moons had passed and it wasn’t lost on Kagome that the separation would affect her and InuYasha differently. While he knew she was out of danger, secure with her family in pacific modern era Japan, that same courtesy was never offered to her.

Sure, Naraku was gone and InuYasha would always have Tessaiga, as well as their friends, to support and protect him. But he was still a cocky half demon with a remarkable talent to lost his temper and a pretty respectful list of enemies. Trouble would find him one way or another. 

Part of her wondered if it already did and, as much as it hurt to consider it, that was why he never met her after the five hundred years gap. But then again, it could also mean that he didn’t have to, because she found a way to get back on her own. 

Her attention went back to the open book on her lap.

“I just… I just need to see if you’re okay.” Pleaded Kagome, aware of her own lie the second it left her lips. Just a glimpse of him, brief and distant as it may, and she could never walk away.

The night came and went as she devoured the pages, in vain. Then daylight touched Earth, imposing and golden like his eyes.

The sky was so clear, not a single cloud dared to taint its dazzling blue. Around him, InuYasha could see all the summer colors, as bright as they were, from the floating orange of the butterflies to the endless rainbow of flowers gifted to them by a generous spring. Nearby, he could hear the birds singing their jubilant melodies and the village’s children playing under the sun.

It was a beautiful morning and he hated it.

A day like that without Kagome to enjoy it was such a waste. Everything about it seemed pointless — wrong, somehow — since she wasn’t there to see it.

Particularly, he had grown fond of the cloudy days. It was much easier to blend in. Everybody gets a little sad when it rains.

But InuYasha couldn’t control the weather and certainly he couldn’t extinguish the distance separating them either, as he had previously learned. All he could do was sit there and wait for her.

“And now the little brats are getting old enough to chase me around.” Continued InuYasha, on yet another detailed report Kagome would never hear. “‘S a nightmare, I’ll tell ya. Not even you or your mom were so obsessed with my ears and that’s sayin’ a lot.”

His heart clenched at the thought of the kind woman who had treated him like a son from the very start, but it didn’t last long, as he could practically hear Kagome’s giggles. He had no doubt she would find the whole situation insanely amusing, much to his pretended annoyance.

He didn’t even try to fight his smile.

“Can you believe it? Miroku and Sango have twins!” InuYasha exclaimed, because he sure as hell still couldn’t, no matter how many times the living proofs climbed over him, pulled his hair or pestered his poor ears. “I mean, ‘course you can. You saw it coming way before I did.”

Well, not even her wildest guess would have bet on twins right away, but the important thing was the monk and the slayer were really making marriage work. InuYasha would give anything to see her smug I-Told-You-So expression.

“They’re really happy.” And they had every reason to be. Against all odds, they were together, they had a family. After so much trauma, fights and goodbyes, they managed to stood side by side at the end. They had earned that. InuYasha knew it. And he wanted to be happy for them. He was happy for them. He just couldn’t shake the terrible feeling that would come along with every look, touch or gleeful moments shared between the couple: it should have been Kagome and I. 

Then guilt would hit him like a punch, making him avoid the pair for a while just to feel even worse. It was much harder to feel happy for someone else when his own happiness was in the other side of the well with her. 

“They miss you, though.”

“Congratulations!” Kagome walked in, dropping her purse to the base of the Honekui no Ido to grasp her hair in exasperation. “You have finally made Tokyo boring and I thought this was impossible!”

The schoolgirl spent the whole day out, passing by parks and stores that had been so fascinating to her in the past, but that now just couldn’t catch her eyes. 

Since she was a little child, she always felt her city like a living entity. Pulsating, stimulating, a surprise on every turn.

Then, years ago, she had fallen into that damned well and the conception of adventure that she once had changed forever.

In that new, exciting land, Kagome had been a fish out of temporal water, but then she decorated the tides and made them her habitat. Now that she was isolated from it, she missed it like crazy and the place she used to call home didn’t felt like home anymore.

She was a fish out of water again, but this time in her own town.

The city lights were as pretty as ever, but they could never match the starry night sky from Feudal Era and the more she walked through the comfortable pavement, the more she longed for the freshy grass. It was sickening and frightening.

For her family, Kagome desperately kept trying to make things go back to the way it was before — Studying, hanging out with her friends, helping in the shrine. She never told them it wasn’t working. There was no need to hurt them over nothing.

But she didn’t belong there. And she hadn’t for quite a while.

“What do I do?” She whispered.

A/N: one day I’ll write something that isn’t angst again... but today was not that day. Thank you for reading, tho. It means a lot to me. Oh, and let me know if you want to be tagged or something. See ya!

#InuYasha #Inukag #Kagome #Holding On And Letting Go - Chapter IV #Kagome Higurashi #Inukag Angst #Inukag Multichapter #My Writing

[julla]

Alphabet Soup~

i was tagged by @aflaxtonjaegerbomb ~ thank u for this and everything else and its so cute that u still have an edit of mine as ur icon btw. loveit :)) cute :))

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post then tag 10 people you would like to get to know better~

A: Age, 25

B: Birthplace, estonia

C: Current Time, 8am

D: Drink you last had, water

E: Easiest person to talk to, umm.. i wish i could say my family but lmao. i’ll say @xxxtiaxxx who is my nr 1 bestie lol and @tabi-ears is... a great person to talk to too. supportive and real and.. idk.. thank u to both of u :) w the bb hiatus i have lost many friends lol its weird but this blog IS forreal my happyplace and when its empty then my life is empty too. and since i live away from home again its hard...

F: Favorite song, so.. i went to see twenty one pilots last week right. and i’ve always been a super casual fan like oh ye 21p i love them :) now tho... i mean... i just took a bit of a deeper look into their songs and fandom and... fuck. i always liked their music. like its hard for me to find arstists that i really can listen to full albums. (like bigbang) ... but rn im absolutely obsessed w their trench album. havent listened to anything else for like.. 2-3 weeks lol. my favorites are jumpsuit and chlorine and my blood and (lmao i could go on).. its good to listen to sth that actually makes me feel something. like i cant listen to jumpsuit without crying apparently. woke up and the first song i listened to is jumpsuit so ye im crying rn too lol.. sigh..

G: Grossest memory, bit of a TMI i suppose but my grossest memories all circle around molestation and assault. i guess i wont get into detail so i wouldnt gross u guys out but like.. things like... when i woke up and my cousin’s hand was in my panties and when i opened my eyes he smiled at me. freak. and like.. one thing that will probably haunt me til i die.. when i was r*ped and the guy told me to open my mouth. triggered 

H: Hogworts House, dunno tbh. ive taken the test a few times over the years and the answer hasnt been the same so.. idk

I: In love? no

J, Jealous of people? no

K, Killed people? no

L: Love at first sight, or should I walk by again? ye it takes time so keep walking

M: Middle name, dont have one

N: Number of siblings? 3

O: One wish, i wanna get pregnant but its hard for me to find someone to start a family with. like.. im hooking up w this guy rn but theres no way we’ll start a family ya feel lmao

P: Person you last called, i dont call.. plus i live abroad so... ye.. im not calling anyone rn

Q: Question you are always asked? how tall are u :))))))))))))))))))))))))))

R: Reason to smile, music.. jiyong and seunghyun.. cats and animals in general.. good kisses.. travelling.. good food.. good memories..  

S: Song you last sang, jumpsuit lol

T: Time you woke up? 6:10am

U: Underwear colour, black

V: Vacation destination, always wanna go back to jeju and seoul too.. but anywhere, i suppose.. i wanna travel a lot. but.. first i kinda wanna go back to turkey and iran. so we’ll see how it goes. and by it i mean money

W: Worst habit, social smoking

X: X-rays, had my chest xrayed for work a few times now

Y: Your favourite food, korean food 100%.. id kill for some good ass bibimbap rn. sigh..............

Z: Zodiac sign, cancer

tagging: @simplyshady @cosmicskyc @mottemottemotte @solution-the-problem @lu2lubelle @empatsepuluh @nicoleveno14 @tazman4714 @tabi-ears @jiandtabi

thanks and have a nice day

#me #tagged #its been so long idek what i tag these games with