#literally no one cares

[meneatyoghurt]

Paris, 10am

I couldn't resist a little fic inspired by that blooper.

~~

Read on AO3

The room is different in the morning sun. Where it was bathed in a warm glow as they fell into bed last night, it's now bright with natural light, the freshness of spring. Henry watches as Alex shrugs on his jacket, the last thing he needs. He's still lazing around in one of the hotel's soft dressing gowns, leaning back into a Louis XV chair with his ankles crossed on a footstool. If Alex has to leave, Henry is going to use every second before he goes to drink his fill.

"You're really just going to lounge there looking like…" Alex gestures towards Henry's general presence, searching for the right words with his hand and grasping nothing but air, "that—"

"Eloquent," Henry deadpans.

"—looking all coquettish—"

At that, Henry's nose wrinkles, "I preferred the first attempt, uninspired as it was."

"—wearing nothing but a robe, when you know I have to be on a plane in an hour." Alex ends his fit of pique with a throw of his hands, always so expressive in the way he moves his body. Not like Henry, who has been taught to hold himself up and in since he was in short trousers.

"Something to think about while you're on said plane. Remember me fondly, darling, for who knows when we shall see each other next." He takes a pointed sip of his tea, a flourish to his verbose affectation, too posh even for his own usual speech patterns.

"You are insufferable," Alex says, but he's coming closer anyway, leaning in to kiss the faux innocence from Henry's face.

He slides a deft hand inside Henry's robe, palming the warm flesh underneath. "You're sure you're not too sore?"

"Mm, only pleasantly so. I might have a soak in the bath after you've left."

"Now that's something to think about on the plane." Alex's gaze drifts upwards a little, a smile sweeping his face, as if he's already thinking about it. Or looking at where the plane will be.

"If you're lucky, maybe you won't have to imagine it."

"Naughty photos? Hell yes. Count me in."

Henry holds his hand out to Alex, a silent 'help me up', even though he in no way needs it. It's just an excuse to have once last physical connection, to feel the softness and hardness of Alex's palm in his, the firm grip and the silken skin. When he's on his feet, he palms Alex's cheek and jaw with one hand, then leans in to embrace him.

What's meant to be a hug goodbye doesn't remain one for long. Alex flutters a butterfly kiss to his cheek, his brow, his jaw, before taking his earlobe between his teeth and gently nipping. He moves down to Henry's neck, alternating kisses light and heavy, his tongue peaking out to taste the skin, still salty from the night before.

He lets Alex manoeuvre them and lower him to the bed, and lets himself enjoy the moment. Alex buried in the juncture between his jaw and shoulder, secreting kisses into that most intimate and sensitive of places, and Henry resolves to hold them there as he closes his eyes.

Until the soft kisses turn into trumpeting vibrations, loud, rude and wet. He instinctively starts hitting out at Alex, a childish response to a childish act.

"Ugh, go back to America!" is what comes out of him as he pushes Alex off him and the bed. "You absolute tosser. See if I ever let you near me again."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I had to!" Alex manages to get out as he laughs with his whole body.

"I really don't think you did," Henry says primly, trying to purse his lips but fighting a losing battle against the smile tugging at him.

"You said it yourself, who knows when I'll get another opportunity." He straightens his jacket and gives the room, and Henry, one last look. "And now I really have to go." He grabs a croissant and takes a monstrous bite from it, declaring "One for the road," as he chews. Leaning in to kiss Henry again, chasing when he tries to dodge, he presses flaky pastry into his lips. "And one of those too."

"Get out of here. I'll see you…when I see you," Henry concludes, thinking that they haven't yet made any solid plans on when they'll next meet. Something is sure to come up.

"Oh, one more thing," Alex stops himself abruptly just before he leaves, suitcase in hand.

"Yes, Columbo?"

He leans in close, lips and breath tickling the shell of Henry's ear, as he whispers in his very best French accent, "Croissant."

Henry can't help the decidedly unregal snort that comes out of him. "Mm, not bad. Keep practising and you'll soon sound like a real Parisian."

"Hope not, those guys are rude as fuck. See ya later, Henry George Edward James Hanover-Stuart Fox." With one more kiss to Henry's cheek he's out the door. Henry can just hear Amy's exasperated "Finally," drift through before it closes behind him.

Ten minutes later, just as he's slipping into the bathtub, he receives a text from Alex. I don't believe you've ever seen Columbo. It's swiftly followed by a GIF of a Bake Off contestant butchering the pronunciation of 'guacamole'.

He sends back You're rapidly talking yourself out of those photos before he melts into the water, a giddy, blissful laugh bubbling out of him.

#rwrb #rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #rwrb fic #me: louis xvi chair...wait no xiv...xv? #literally no one cares

[norringtondeservestheworld]

Me looking at the homophobes losing their minds because the only kisses shown in the Last of Us are gay ones.

#LMAO #STAY MAD #literally no one cares #the last of us #hbo the last of us #tlou hbo #tlou spoilers #the last of us series #the last of us spoilers #the last of us show #bill x frank #bill and frank #ellie x riley #ellie and riley

[cave-cryptid]

I'm dying to character dive into the sword boys immediately even though I've only seen like the first 4 episodes

I know barely nothing about any of them yet, but I want to so much so I'm just going to extrapolate based on what I know/how I would absolutely write them myself buckle in

#these characters #intrigue me so much #bbc the musketeers #the musketeers #literally no one cares #none of my followers even know wtf I'm talking about

[infestedguest]

Okay but can we all just agree that going on a post about a relatively unpopular ship and reblogging/commenting stuff like “platonic soulmates!!” and “omg they’re such good friends” is really rude?

#yes this post is about stancy #also it’s rude to go into an entire explanation over how you hate the ship but you’re reblogging the post anyway #literally no one cares #fandom meta #fandom etiquette #stranger things #stancy #st fandom #st fandom meta #stranger things fandom #stranger things fandom meta #anna talking about stuff

[miraofhearts2point0]

who tf is Song Kang and why tf is he clogging up the aib tags. no one gaf get out of heres hes not even in the damn show

#“hes in sweet home!!” #okay but is that alice in borderland?? #no i dont think so #get him out of here #literally no one cares #alice in borderland #ima wa no kuni no alice

[anxiousravenboy]

hot vld take i guess

i don't like sheith.

THERE. I SAID IT.

so technically it's not like

illegal, or anything, but i don't like the age gap, albeit small, and i don't usually ship people who have the kind of connection that they do.

bc like there's that episode where keith tells shiro he's like a brother to him, and normally i don't hang on super tight to specific lines like that, but that scene really struck a cord in me bc of the way they were able to convey the relationship between keith and shiro without having to make it romantic.

i don't like that these two characters are so close, and everyone feels the need to ship them because of that. i genuinely don't care if you ship them, good for you, but i don't like the ship because maintaining platonic relationships in fiction is really, really important to me, and when a show does a good job of representing non-romantic closeness, but a large group of people let that effort go to waste it annoys me a little.

klance shippers, back me up on this?

anyway, i just get super touchy about voltron ships so, eh. but here, have a snobby, unsolicited opinion i guess.

#vld #voltron legendary defender #voltron #sheith opinions #literally no one cares #literally like one person will see this but oh well

[houseofpurplestars]

I guarantee yall will have a better time if you stop tagging your own posts with it!

just block the tag like god intended and stfu

#tmnt #literally no one cares #yall are so fucking annoying #anti fandom

[alonlyfangirl]

#literally no one cares #but Hey Im having some fun here #hans #norway

[thiswildernessismyhome]

what if i stopped feeling weird about how obsessed i remain with camina drummer after like two years and just let myself actually write all the stories i want to write

what if that

#i am having a lot of anxiety about my writing and my participation in fandom lately #which is essentially anxiety pointed squarely at the thing that generally relieves my anxiety #helpful #anyway. no one cares if i write 20 stories about the same character! #literally no one cares #you’re on the fandom obsession website babe #chill the fuck out

[mearpsdyke]

came to a public pool after years of not doing that and i didn't suck in my stomach not even once. progress.

#literally no one cares #thank god

[crystallized-crow]

can you guys like shut up like actually

stop sending death threats to kids who ship bakudeku. no one cares that it would be toxic if it was canon because its not canon and wont ever be. also, its enemies to lovers. i thought yall liked that 💀 pick a side and stick to it

#sammi hates icarly #bakudeku #fandom ships #literally no one cares

[little-red-devil]

I literally hate this country so much 🤡

#literally no one cares #world cup final

[fairyfuyu]

v random but i am currently out of the country and will be for the next few weeks so to any moots that have tried to text me and i never responded - i have no wifi half the time so i may not have gotten your message in the first place !!

i check my discord like every other day because of the wifi problem but i love u all so so much <333

#literally no one cares #nejxjwjxjw bye #⋆｡°✩ honey talks ✩°｡⋆

[agentcherricola]

yesterday the bus driver thought i wanted to get out at the stop before mine and i had to awkwardly explain that i wanted the next one even tho we already passed the actual stop and today they drove right past my stop even tho i requested it

it’s the little things

#prsonal #literally no one cares

[cowardlycowboys]

girl who needs to ask for reassurance would rather be stabbed than admit they have needs

GIRL GENDER FUNNY‼️ POST MADE BY MOST FEMININE HE/THEY SHUT UP‼️

#omg kiera no one cares #admitting u have needs and stuff is so embarrassing like I'm literally an adult grow up #like I'd rather go crazy then ask if you still like being around me and love me #unfortunately that's unhealthy and i gotta work on that but until thats complete i will think about being gutted like fish instead

[koi0boi]

for all of you who thought i gave off bad handwriting energy (one person)

#koi yaps #literally no one cares