#madatatsu

[mirrortouchedsea]

ES Rarepair Week 2023 Day 2: Childhood/AU

Pairing: Madara Mikejima/Tatsumi Kazehaya

Word count: 663

Notes: So uhm. I'm trying to write in the style of Jose Saramago because I've been reading the Gospel According to Jesus Christ so this is literally two big paragraphs and I am sorry but it was a lot of fun to write so! This will hopefully be part of a much larger fic continuing in this style so it will definitely be and feel unfinished. Enjoy!

---

Since Tatsumi Kazehaya was a young boy, he knew he had to hide his faith. His parents had instilled in him a sense of fear since birth, that they were persecuted for their beliefs and he should never tell anyone about them. Hide yourself so you can continue to praise the Lord. Tatsumi didn’t understand this very well, but he continued to remove his religious iconography whenever he left the house, hanging up a cross necklace by the door before he left, but that’s something we can look at later. For now, we see Tatsumi Kazehaya as a young boy, on one of the rare days out with his family. They are going to a local aquarium that he had seen a pamphlet for a few weeks ago. What’s an aquarium, he asked his parents. It’s where they keep sea animals on land. But don’t they die without water? They keep them in tanks and take care of them, so don’t worry. Okay. He would pull out the pamphlet and look at it, trying to read the complicated words on the page before giving up. He was only five years old, after all, we shouldn’t expect him to be able to read something as complicated as this. His father picked it up and read out the names of some of the advertised exhibits. Squids, dolphins, sharks, seahorses. There are horses in the sea? They’re named that because their heads look like horses.

Tatsumi is holding his father’s hand as they walk through the aquarium, pointing out some of the different animals mentioned in the pamphlet. Tatsumi presses his face to the glass tank as children are known to do and follows a large and slow fish with his eyes. There are many brightly colored fish dancing around it, but Tatsumi’s eyes are glued to the large and slow one and he doesn’t notice as the crowd around him shifts and changes until he pulls away and realizes his father is nowhere to be found. Tatsumi’s heartbeat pounds in his chest as he tries to find a familiar face in a sea of strangers until he runs into another child. He looks about the same age as Tatsumi and he relaxes instantly. Are you lost, the other boy asks, grabbing Tatsumi’s hand and pulling him away from the crowd. I think so. Who were you here with? My mom and dad. What do they look like? My dad has hair like mine, he points to his head of mint green hair, and my mom has the same eyes. He talks a little too mature for his age, but then again, so does the boy who found him. Can you tell me your name, Tatsumi asks. Madara, and yours? Tatsumi. Nice to meet you Tatsumi-san. Madara pulled Tatsumi around again, walking through the different tunnels like he knew the place well. Do you live in the aquarium, Tatsumi asks as they pass through another room filled with fish. No, but I’m friends with the owner’s son. Is he nice? He’s interesting, but I don’t know if nice is a word to describe him. How so? If you met him you’d know. Can I meet him? Maybe someday, but they keep him pretty guarded. Tatsumi didn’t say anything after that and instead pondered why a child like him would be kept under such close watch, though he might realize he was in a similar situation if he had any awareness of how different his childhood was from most. It took a few more turns through some less crowded rooms before Madara finally stopped, hand still holding Tatsumi’s. Where are we? Somewhere we can wait for your family. How will they find me? Well don’t you ask a lot of questions. Wouldn’t you? I guess. So how will my parents find me? They just will, I don’t know how it works but they’ll find you here. Will you wait with me? I’m not supposed to. Can you? 

#es rarepair week #enstars rarepair week #enstars #ensemble stars #tatsumi kazehaya #madara mikejima #madatatsu #my wips #also because this was written up literally last night. it will probably see some big changes before i post the final #whenever that is. hopefully eventually #but theres a reason i was kinda drawn to these two for this style. anyway. #read jose saramago <3

[starswallowingsea]

I could never be a priest because I'm too much of a busybody like omg did you hear about John being unfaithful to his wife?

#shay speaks #this post was lis approved. anyway time to go write madatatsus or whatever see you in a bit

[kalmeria]

madatatsu crumbs incoming

#this is like the one story i can remember them interacting outside of !! main #enstars #when i say crumbs i do mean. crumbs #like a tiny little crumb honestly

[transactinides]

madatatsu ship bingo on my hands and knees lis

both terrible for each other and also can fix each other nobody does it like them. chews on madatatsu a bit

[mirrortouchedsea]

It had become a habit for Tatsumi at this point, waking up three times a week to go make tea in the kitchen. Madara would always try to sneak past him, but to no avail. Tatsumi would offer him a cup of tea, already made to his liking, and start talking.

They didn't talk about much at first, avoiding the topic of Madara's late-night escapades as much as possible, but they still got to know each other. At some point, Madara had mentioned that he was on bad terms with his family, which Tatsumi empathized with and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Tatsumi in turn would mention the Reimei incident and how recovery has been difficult in the aftermath.

Many things hang in the air between them. At the mention of God, Madara would tense up before quickly relaxing again, avoiding a direct response when asked about his reaction.

There was one night, however, after Tatsumi had finished rinsing their cups and putting them on the drying towel that Madara had whispered something to him.

"I'm not worthy of all this," he said, just loud enough for Tatsumi to hear it.

Tatsumi turned and gently placed a hand on Madara's cheek, thumb swiping just below the eye at a nonexistent tear.

"Of course you are," he replied. "Everyone deserves to love and be loved."

"You don't understand," Madara said, a little louder but still quiet in the dim kitchenette. "I've done unforgivable things."

"Then I'll forgive you for them." Tatsumi's thumb swiped a real tear away.

"You don't even know what they are. I could've killed your family or someone you care about."

"And I know you well enough to know that you didn't. But even so, I would forgive you."

"Why?" Tatsumi could feel the sadness in Madara's voice, the way Madara had been expecting rejection, as if he had experienced this situation before. All of his usual cheerfulness and smiles had slipped away into the night as Tatsumi pulled on his vulnerability.

"Because it is what I've been called to do." The light behind Madara's eyes dims for a few moments.

"Even if your God didn't call you to do that..."

"I would still forgive you. Even if you had killed them out of anger or malice, I would forgive you. It's not good to let anger fester in our hearts."

Madara stayed silent for a few moments, which turned to seconds and then minutes. Tatsumi pulled Madara into a full embrace, slowly moving his hands up and down Madara's back. Madara silently returned the gesture.

When they pulled apart, Madara took Tatsumi's face in hid gloved hand, running his thumb over the small beauty marks.

"If you get too close, I'm afraid I'll taint you with my sins."

"I'm already tainted and I've accepted my fate, but I choose to love anyway."

They stared into each others' eyes, looking for something to answer their questions.

"May I?" Tatsumi asked, moving his hand back up to Madara's cheek.

Madara simply closed the gap between them with a kiss. It was short and gentle and warm, and they both felt that it hadn't lasted long enough, but their exhaustion was starting to seep back in.

"Would you like to spend the night at my dorm?" Tatsumi asked.

"Yeah..." Madara replied, leaning in for a second brief kiss before pulling away fully. "Let me change out of this uniform first."

"Alright, just be quiet when you knock, I believe Koga-san is still asleep."

#shay speaks #shay writes #madatatsu #tatsumi kazehaya #madara mikejima #hello madatatsu nation. i am not main tagging this but enjoy #no word count cuz i wrote this in my notes app. almost a whole week with no internet now #im suffering i want to work on my zine piece but i cant

[mirrortouchedsea]

madatatsu touching 21..... perhaps...

ask game

touching

21. kissing the other’s brow

Tatsumi finished washing their teacups and set them on the drying rack, humming one of Alkaloid's songs as he walked back to Madara. Madara had gotten up to leave after their talk, but he lingered by the entrance to the hallway until Tatsumi was done cleaning up. The slight limp in Tatsumi's step hadn't escaped him when they sat down and he wanted to make sure Tatsumi got back to his dorm alright.

"You didn't have to wait for me, Madara-san," Tatsumi said, stepping out into the hallway.

Madara chuckled. "I wanted to."

Tatsumi smiled and tentatively reached for Madara's hand, gently entwining their fingers as they walked in a comfortable silence to Tatsumi's dorm.

When they got there, Tatsumi unlocked the door and stepped in, reluctantly letting go of Madara's hand as he did so. He turned around and leaned up to kiss his brow.

"I appreciate you, Madara-san. Thank you."

He smiled and Madara just felt his face heat up at the compliment. It was hard for him to brush off genuine compliments from someone like Tatsumi. As much as he tried, it was hard for him to keep his distance.

"It's nothing, Tatsumi-san. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

#message in a bottle #transactinides #madatatsu #weugh i am. i need to work on my bb fic thats what i need to do instead of these but. #blows up. madatatsu the world. okay

[mirrortouchedsea]

Day 15

“Tatsumi-senpai, have you ever kissed anyone?” Kaname asked, sitting across from the other boy in the catacombs. Everyone else had left for the night leaving the two of them alone. 

“Why are you asking?” Tatsumi replied, confused as he moved one of his chess pieces on the board. Kaname didn’t know anything about how the game worked and was mostly just guessing at where the pieces moved. 

“A-ah it’s nothing, I was just wondering…I haven’t kissed anyone.” Kaname could feel his face heating up. God this was embarrassing, why was he doing this? 

“I haven’t kissed anyone either.” Their game of chess forgotten for the moment. Kaname’s face burned even hotter. 

“Would you--would you like to try kissing?” He barely squeaked out. How was the great Kaname Tojou such a loser when it came to his crush? He should be confident and yet here he was. 

“Can you repeat that, Kaname-san?” He loved the way his name sounded in Tatsumi’s voice. It made him want to die in the moment though. 

“Can I--Can we try…kissing?” His voice was still soft but evidently loud enough for Tatsumi to hear if the slight blush on his face was evidence of anything. Tatsumi gently moved their chess board to the side and slid closer to Kaname. Kaname felt his heart rate pick up at the proximity as Tatsumi leaned in closer. 

How was he supposed to kiss? He tried to remember the movies and how they did it, closing his eyes and letting Tatsumi guide him, his lips slightly parted. The moment Tatsumi’s lips touched his he thought he would fly, and evidently his mouth moved before he could think, as Tatsumi let out a yelp and brought a hand to his lips. 

Kaname bit him. Oh how embarrassing! It wasn’t enough to draw blood but still! 

“I’m so sorry Tatsumi-senpai! I didn’t mean to do that! Oh god--” 

Tatsumi laughed. Kaname stopped in his tracks as Tatsumi continued laughing. He wasn’t laughing at Kaname, though, or at least not at Kaname as a person, but rather at his reaction to the whole thing. 

“It’s okay, Kaname-san. We can try again if you’d like.” 

“Y-yes I’d like that very much.” 

They leaned in again and Kaname clenched his jaw to keep himself from biting Tatsumi again, but he got a little overeager again and felt their heads bump into each other and not where their lips were (which was where he was aiming for). Kaname curses under his breath but Tatsumi giggles again (a heavenly sound to Kaname’s ears) and cups his face before gently guiding him to Tatsumi’s lips. 

Kaname was too in shock to do anything for a moment. He was kissing someone. And not just someone. He was kissing Tatsumi Kazehaya, heartthrob of Reimei Academy. He closed his eyes and relaxed, reaching to grab Tatsumi’s blazer and pull him closer. He felt their teeth clack together but it wasn’t as bad as their first attempt and for Kaname, that was enough. 

They pulled away, panting heavily, and Kaname noticed that Tatsumi’s pupils had dilated. He wanted to pull Tatsumi in for another kiss but held himself back, at least for a moment. 

“That wasn’t so bad,” Tatsumi spoke, breathless and full of affection. 

“No, it wasn’t.” Kaname pulled Tatsumi back in for another kiss, narrowly avoiding bumping their heads together again. He could do this forever, just him and Tatsumi in the catacombs, kissing to their hearts content. 

#shay writes #tatsukana #january writing challenge #WE'RE BACK ON TRACK BABEY #i already wrote tomorrow's fic too i will have to edit it #but i'm on a roll today i might work on one of my longer fics #if i dont work on something longer i will die i swear. sobbing #options options.... kaokana fic. big bang fic editing.... the newest longform wip edition which is the madaleo fic #umu what else......... #idk actually there probably is another longer wip somewhere #ignoring the madashu part 2 fic i promised IM SORRY I HAVE NOOOO MOTIVATION FOR THAT ONE RECENTLY #i should do a different madashu fic though. for funsies. i should start a new one #OH THE MADATATSU ONE I WAS WORKING ON RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT #yes yes okay but that one i think i am also putting on the back burner for a bit #but yeah i'm going insane i need to write something longer #i am going insaneeeeeeee just writing short stuff so expect less posting from me in february #for a while anyway we'll see if i can maybe get some chapters of other stuff up #but yeah. anyway cutesies tatsukanas today #cutesies rinniki tomorrow that i've already had people read on discord #and we'll follow it with cute madaleos on thursday i prommy i prommy

[mirrortouchedsea]

Madara opened his eyes to a cloudy morning in Italy. He'd been called over for Double Face business and Kohaku was sleeping in the next room, while Leo lay snuggled closely in Madara's arms. The information had made its way to Leo somehow and Leo had forced Izumi to take him to the airport to meet Madara and Kohaku.

Madara was happy to see Leo, of course he was. He had actually planned on meeting up with him after their job was complete but Leo had surprised him like he always does. Madara got the two of them a separate hotel room and let Kohaku take their original room for himself. Madara and Leo spent the night talking, playing silly games, watching bad Italian TV shows and making up the plots for them. Leo managed to sneak a few kisses in as well, which Madara always returned.

Now that it was morning, Madara knew he had to leave Leo to get ready for his...commission. Once again, it was someone who had gotten intimately entangled with Izumi and Leo and their work abroad and there were concerns about the two of them being hurt, so Madara and Kohaku had been sent to look into it and determine the next course of action.

Madara's callused thumb gently over Leo's cheek, his face so calm in his sleep. He needed to get ready but he didn't want to wake the other man in his arms. He shifted gently to free himself, but Leo stirred and opened his eyes.

"Morning sunshine," Madara whispered lovingly. Leo rubbed his eyes.

He looked concerned. "Mama, are you okay?" he asked.

"Don't worry about me," Madara responded, lightly kissing Leo's forehead. "Go back to sleep."

"Mmm, don't wanna." Leo rolled over, straddling Madara and trapping him on the bed. "Something's wrong. Why won't you tell me?"

Madara knew he could easily escape Leo if he needed to, but the concerned look on his face kept him in place.

"It's about work, I--"

"It's always about work! You keep saying it's to protect me, idols, everyone, but it doesn't protect you! Why are you still..." Leo trailed off, eyes searching for anything from Madara's face.

"I can't let anyone else be tainted like this, but someone has to do it." Madara's voice was gentle yet firm, his hands moving to grip Leo's hips, ready to flip their positions if needed. Leo simply leaned over and buried his head in Madara's neck.

"I wish you didn't."

"I know."

Madara's thumbs rubbed gentle circles in Leo's hips.

"I have to go now, Leo-san." He whispered in his hair, leaving another gentle kiss to his head.

"Stay safe, okay?" Leo crawled off Madara's lap, curling into the sheets.

"I will. I promise."

#shay writes #enstars #madaleo #madara mikejima #leo tsukinaga #OKAY THIS WAS MORE IN LINE WITH WHAT I WAS ORIGINALLY THINKING LAST NIGHT #time to not write madaleo again for 1093402938 months #i need to work on one of my other wips tmrw. maybe the madatatsu one? #idk idk. augh. madaleo make me feel things #plot twist: and then he wasn't safe. no jk he's fine #no madara hurting this week we can do that later #anyway this was also written straight in the post editor and therefore no betas #enjoy!

[mirrortouchedsea]

fuck i've posted something new the last 3 days. how have i managed that i wonder

#not writing #fampsdio my little drabbles... and then obviously the zine piece #but like i said in the tags there. i finished that back in september? its been done #its just i can finally post it so like. 4 days of new shay writing #be prepared for a bit of a drought as i try to get into finishing my bb piece and maybe working on one of my other wips #the madatatsu one is looking tempting... #shay speaks

[starswallowingsea]

Tagged by @transactinides to shuffle my On Repeat/Favorites Playlist on Spotify and post the first 10 songs.

Well my favorites is too long and old and needs to be cleaned and my on repeat is just half the stuff from this week's discover weekly so I'll just put the first 10 from the On Repeat playlist instead.

Devil's Backbone - The Civil Wars

Punch Drunk Love - Magic Whatever

Persona Non Grata - Whale Bones

Here for Now - Bronze Radio Return

Hell or High Water - The Rescues

A Troubled Mind - Noah Kahan

The Beast - Imogen Heap

City of Angels - Em Beihold

Get Happy - Matt Maeson

Rational - Matt Maeson

#shay speaks #tagged! #tag games #surprising nobody. matt maeson makes the list with his new singles #explodes. i am mentally ill #devil's backbone is such a madatatsu song to me btw thats why im obsessed with it rn

[mirrortouchedsea]

regarding the last poll:

you can only vote 1 but the top 3 will be what i focus on for the month. also spelled kaname and kanata's names in the ships just to make sure we're on the same page but its tatsukana and kaokana xoxo

#shay speaks #not writing #polls #i'm gonna schedule this to post around when i wake up so it'll be done monday morning instead of really late tmrw night #but i'm scheduling it up at like 11pm sunday

[starswallowingsea]

how do we feel about madatatsu everyone

#idk i was just. thinking about both of them individually and like #it would be really interesting on a lot of levels me thinks #shay speaks

[mirrortouchedsea]

Wrote 4 pages of madatatsu in my notebook because I still don't have wifi

#not writing #shay speaks #quality is dubious cuz handwriting but yknow #maybe ill post it later. we shall see

[starswallowingsea]

I literally woke up and spent like 30 minutes thinking about madatatsu kisses

#shay speaks #i want my internet up so i can write my vision for everyone.

[transactinides]

lis bestie. madashu and madatatsu for the ask game. mayhaps even poly madashutatsu--

just picture me screaming and chewing on the furniture in the background madashu:

madatatsu:

madashutatsu: