#matty healy fluff

[toomuchracket]

if you're too shy (office nerd!matty x reader fluff)

in which the other music journalist at the magazine you work at is the cutest weird boy you've ever met. enjoy <3

in hindsight, coming back from a two-week holiday the same day the magazine goes to print was a misguided idea.

your editor-in-chief tells you as much when you enter the office, pulling you into a half hug. “don't get me wrong, it's lovely to see you,” she says, scraping her hair back into a bun and securing it with a pencil. “but you'll be doing nothing all day, i'm afraid. maybe some last minute proofing, but i think everyone in nightlife and reviews has been alright. double-check with marianne.”

you do just that, weaving your way through people running copy and coffee between departments until you reach your own. it's mercifully quiet compared to everywhere else, the ten or so people dotted at desks around the sunlit room looking at their laptops and wearing headphones; you actually have to flick marianne on the back of the head to get her to notice you. “oi.”

“who the- oh, hi!” marianne's face softens when she sees it's you, and she stands to pull you into one of her infamously bone-crushing hugs before pulling back to get a good look. “well, you look annoyingly well-rested. but i suppose a fortnight in a spanish villa will do that to you. bitch.”

“i had a great time, thanks for asking,” you grin. “how’s everything been with you? stressful, without your star reporter?”

“well, for starters, you've been succeeded for that title.”

you frown only half-jokingly, scanning the room to try and guess which of your colleagues has replaced you as marianne's unofficial favourite. “who the fuck…?”

“language,” she lightly slaps your arm, in spite of the fact she was just about to say the same thing, then smiles suspiciously. “and i’m talking about our newest recruit.”

the brewing annoyance in your stomach dissipates immediately, replaced by a flock of tiny butterflies. “oh,” you try to keep your smile to a minimum. “that's okay. i like him.”

marianne sees right through you, though. she rolls her eyes. “oh, you would.”

“what?”

she sighs, motioning for you to lower your voice and modifying her own to a whisper. “he’s a curly-haired pretty-eyed vaguely scrawny white boy. you'd like him even if he didn't think the sun shone out of your arse.”

“marianne!” you hiss. “he does not!”

“don’t act all indignant, he has literally looked over at you once every thirty seconds since you walked in - and don't look, idiot, you'll freak him out. we need him on the ball, today of all days,” she rubs her eyes. “but yes, he’s very good at his job. i like him, even if i've no idea what in the world he goes off on his tangents about. great writer.”

“yeah, he is,” you risk a glance towards him, but all you can see is the back of his laptop - covered in stickers for things you can only name half of - and dark curls peeking out from the side of his headphones. “i like the references. different perspective from me, innit? that's why we hired him, after all.”

“who's we? you were too pissed off that i was hiring another music critic to agree to be part of the interviewing panel.”

you'd love to disagree, but you really were pissed when marianne and the other editors told you they were expanding the nightlife section. it didn't matter that it was in response to an increase in funding and readership, with the magazine switching to a print format as well as the online edition you'd contributed to since its creation - your fierce independence and pride meant you didn't take the news well, made you think it was an issue with your competence and writing ability that meant you'd be getting a new colleague. but once you were reassured that you'd still get to keep the Big Gigs and restaurant reviews to yourself, you were slightly more agreeable to the idea.

and once you actually met the new guy, stumbling over both his words and his own feet as he introduced himself, you couldn't quite remember why you'd been opposed in the first place.

“well,” you say, snapping back into reality. “thank goodness i'm over it now.”

“because you want to get under him?”

“no!” you stand indignantly, and then grin. “on top, maybe.”

“good grief,” your boss shakes her head. “don't you go bringing it up to him - excuse the pun - before this edition goes to the printers,” she points at you as you move to walk away. “or talking to him at all until then, actually, you hear me? i love you, but you're a distraction to him, and he's my best journo.”

“he's not, but alright,” you pat her head as you walk back towards the door. “i'll be in the staff room if you need me. and i won't talk to anyone, mum, i promise.”

“i'm only five years older than you!”

“whatever you say!” you reply in a singsongy voice, giggling to yourself as you wander towards the sunny kitchen. the little radio on the windowsill is on, as it always is, and you nod along to the cure while you wait for the kettle to boil. once you've made a cuppa (and grabbed a slack handful of the chocolate digestives marianne always keeps the cupboard stocked with), you settle at the table with your laptop, typing out ideas for your next feature and doing your best not to think about the boy down the corridor you've been instructed not to talk to for the time being. for the most part, you succeed.

that is, until he walks into the staff room two hours later.

you frantically wipe your face of biscuit crumbs as he does, smiling as sweetly as you can for someone with no idea if she has chocolate on her teeth or not. “hi, matty. how are you?”

“oh, hi! i'm, uh, i'm alright,” matty smiles widely enough that his verbal emotional downplaying is blatant - still, he's so cute, beaming at you like that with his little sweater paws. he’s always in a jumper or cardigan or hoodie of some kind, and on more than one occasion in the three months you've known him, you've absolutely thought about literally cosying up into him instead of doing any work. “how was spain? and the wedding - it was a family wedding you were going to, yeah?”

“that's right,” it’s not a big deal, but you glow at the fact he remembered. or maybe it's the soft intent he looks at you with. “it was lovely, yeah. although - wait, have we gone to print?” you ask, suddenly recalling marianne's instructions. “i'm not keeping you from work?”

matty's curls bounce as he shakes his head, light hitting off the metal hoop in his earlobe (that you're only mildly obsessed with). “we've gone. i'm just in here to get my lunch,” he pulls a tupperware from the fridge, cheeks rosy as he waves it. “made some soup last night.”

he makes his own soup. the thought is so endearing that it takes everything in you not to sigh; you settle for a smile. “carrot and coriander?”

“you can tell from one glance?”

you shrug. “s'my favourite.”

“really?” matty's face seems to light up. “mine too,” he busies himself with putting the tupperware in the microwave, taking his time pressing buttons and turning dials before looking bashfully at you. “so, you had a nice time at the wedding, then?”

“i did, thank you. do you, um,” you start, suddenly shy. “d'you want to see some photos from it, while you're waiting for the soup to heat up?”

he nods back just as shyly, sitting quite awkwardly on the seat next to yours; while you open your photos app, matty twists a stray curl around his finger, and the movement seems to send your nerves into vibration as well as the molecules in the air. with a series of shallow breaths, you locate the folder of the wedding pictures and set your phone on the table. “feel free to flick through them, if you like.”

“thank you,” matty sits forward, carefully swiping through the album. you lean on your elbow, doing your best not to beam adoringly at the way he looks intently at each photo before moving to the next. “the venue is really beautiful.”

“yeah, it was stunning.”

the next picture is one of you in your bridesmaid dress, taken by your sister the morning of the wedding. you watch, slightly heartsick, as matty's mouth falls open as he looks at you; the feeling worsens when he tentatively does the same thing in real life, those pretty eyes of his sparkling as he smiles softly. “so are you. really. like,” he looks down at the photo again, shaking his head slightly before looking back up at you. “that colour is beautiful on you. honest. you look incredible.”

“thank you,” the words come out in a whisper, and the two of you silently smile at each other for a moment until you clear your throat. “um, there are more of the official pics on my instagram, let me… actually, do you have my private account?”

“oh, no,” matty shakes his head again - god, you love the way his hair moves. “just the one for your writing.”

“well,” you tap on the app with an almost-imperceptibly shaky finger. “that's the username there, if you'd like to follow. no pressure, of course. don’t wanna fuck up your algorithms or anything.”

your nervous chuckle at the end of the sentence turns to a giggle when you see matty's face as you share your username; it lights up so much that you'd be forgiven for thinking he'd just won the lottery. he pulls his own phone out and taps away at it. “you don't have to follow me back, by the way,” his cheeks flush a deep red, a beautiful colour. “m'not posting anything interesting.”

doubtful. he might be one of the most interesting people you've ever met, all talent and sweetness and a wealth of cultural understanding wrapped up in a sweater and a pretty face. “no, i'd like to.”

“alright. thank you,” matty's cheeks seem to get even redder as he watches you hit follow back, face twitching as though he’s trying to stop himself smiling too big. when the microwave dings, he all but skips over to it, almost tripping over the leg of his chair in a sweetly awkward way; he swears under his breath when he lifts the steaming container out, turning back sheepishly to look at you. “sorry.”

“don't worry,” you grin at him, feeling slightly bold. “i still think you're sweet when you swear.”

he giggles, and the noise makes your heart leap; in addition to being one of the most interesting people you think you've ever met, matty healy is without doubt the cutest. watching his lips pout in concentration as he stirs the soup and checks the temperature, you briefly imagine what they would feel like against your own, how he would be if the two of you were to kiss. just as giggly and endearingly awkward as he usually is, you think - eager to please, lips and tongue a little sloppy and unsure but enthusiastic enough for you not to mind, slightly unsure of where to put his hands so as to not make you uncomfortable… the scene is as clear as day in your head, and you really, really want to recreate it. you'd devour him right now if you could, the sweetheart.

and then, matty reaches up to get a bowl from the shelf, the hem of his shirt goes with him, and your want to devour him suddenly takes on a less pg-rated meaning than it did a second ago.

he has a fucking hip tattoo.

you’re pretty sure it's only a sliver of the full design you can actually see, but the hints of red and blue and black ink and the glimpse of his happy trail are enough to fuck you up completely. as you register what you're seeing - what you're discovering about the seemingly buttoned-up, shy, unassuming-to-everyone-but-you matty - your breath catches in your throat, forcing you to cough quite obviously on the mouthful of lukewarm tea you'd just taken. one cough turns into another, and you clap a hand over your mouth to make your tattoo reaction attack the least obvious it can be.

still, the ever-perceptive man across the kitchen notices, running over to crouch in front of you with concern filling those beautiful eyes of his. “you alright, darling?”

darling?! no, you most certainly aren't alright.

but you can't tell matty that, so you stick to gesturing to let him know you'll reply once you've managed to swallow your tea. “i am, yeah, thanks. tea just, y'know, went down the wrong way.”

matty tilts his head. “you sure?”

“yeah,” you smile, slightly embarrassed. “really. thank you, though.”

“of course,” he smiles in return, knee brushing lightly against your leg as he steadies himself; he looks down, eyes widening as he registers how close the two of you are, and quickly stands. “i'd better, y'know, get my lunch.”

you nod, despite the strange loneliness settling into your bones at the lack of him next to you. “i can head back to the office, if you want peace?”

“no, no, please stay!” matty all but gasps, turning to look at you like a deer caught in headlights - he clears his throat, blinking a few times before speaking again. “please don't feel the need to leave on my account, i mean. or feel obliged to talk, really - i was just going to read.”

“you're sure i won't be a bother to you?”

matty smiles warmly, shaking his head. “that'll never happen.”

christ.

“okay,” you whisper, winking at him - and savouring the little giggle that bubbles out of him when you do - before turning back to your laptop. 

matty settles at the table a minute or so later, pulling a paperback from his back pocket and holding it open quite attractively with one hand. you peek over the rim of your laptop at him every so often, never for more than a couple of seconds at a time; partially to avoid the mortification of him catching you, but mostly because if you look at him any longer you know your mind will wander back to that fucking hip tattoo of his, and what it might look like completely visible to you, and what it might feel like under your lips, and what noises matty might make if you slowly dragged your tongue all over it before moving to the side to lick a wavy line up the length of his-

enough. he's literally right there.

the room feels hot, all of a sudden, your cheeks flushing and throat drying to match. on only slightly shaky legs, you pick up your waterbottle and head to the water fountain, crouching as best you can to fill it. even though he stays silent, you can feel matty’s eyes on you from across the room, but it doesn't bother you or freak you out in the way that other men ogling you at a water fountain would - it's quite obvious that matty has some sort of more-than-platonic affection for you, but his gaze has always been one of appreciation and awe when it comes to you, not the predatory one you've come to expect from men. and yet, his is the only male gaze that makes you feel slightly nervous, unused to being looked at with such reverence and tenderness by an attractive boy; in complete contrast, though, it also makes you lower your guard, pull down the bricks from the wall you've built around your heart, and allow yourself to actually feel something for matty, for once. something good, honest, promising.

matty looks up from his book as you sit down, smiling pleasantly. he opens his mouth as if to talk, and then closes it immediately, shaking his head slightly.

this intrigues you. “you okay, matty?”

“hmm? oh, yeah, i was just thinking,” his cheeks go a shade of pink you would buy in blush form if you could find it. “when you were first talking about the wedding… you said although, and then we got off-topic slightly. what, um, what were you going to say, if you don't mind me asking?”

“oh, right,” you wrack your brain, doing your best to not get distracted by how cute you find his perception. “i think i was going to say something about how, as good as it all was, there's nothing like a family wedding to remind you of how single you are.”

his jaw falls open. “you… you don't have a boyfriend? wait, sorry,” he blinks. “or a partner?”

you shake your head, biting the inside of your lip to stop yourself smiling. “no boyfriend, no. and thus, constantly advised by a never-ending flock of aunts that i should get one so i could get married.”

“christ,” matty winces. “yeah, my cousin's getting married in a couple of months - not looking forward to everyone asking me when i'm going to meet a nice girl and settle down, as if i can answer.”

no girlfriend. how interesting. “you're single? really?”

he rolls his eyes, still smiling at you. “be serious. course i am.”

“i am being serious! that surprises me,” you lean on one elbow, tilting your head to look at him. “you're lovely, matty.”

matty’s eyes widen, and he blinks adorably a few times before he smiles shyly again. “thank you. i think the same about you.”

“you do?”

he simply nods, total sincerity in those pretty eyes. 

you feel your cheeks warm, but you make no effort to hide it. “thank you.”

matty shrugs. “just telling the truth, darling,” he looks panicked when he realises what he's said. “sorry for calling you that, twice, it just-”

“i like it, matty, it's alright,” you say reassuringly. “and i like-”

“oh, thank god you're both here,” marianne bursts into the room, carrying her laptop; you frown petulantly at her for ruining your moment, but shuffle your chair round closer to matty's so she can sit at the table too. “something weird’s happening.”

matty squints. “what d'you mean by weird?”

marianne pushes her laptop towards you both. “there's overlap in your planned reviews - the band you're going to see at the end of next week, matthew, have just been announced as the opener for the next Big Gig. i need to know how we want to go about this.”

“oh,” he looks at you. “i don't mind if you want to just review them as part of yours.”

you're shaking your head vehemently before he even finishes talking. “no, that's not fair,” you tap your lips with your index finger the way you always do when you concentrate, trying to ignore the glow within your body when you see matty looking at them from the corner of your eye; inspiration strikes, and you turn to marianne. “matty could come with me, couldn't he? if he reviews their headline gig, and then he does a follow-up review of their opening set in the Big Gig feature - we could just do a joint byline, work together on it.”

both of them turn to look at you in slight shock. marianne is the first to speak, her words trickling out slowly as she processes the fact you've just agreed to let someone else work on a Big Gig for the first time. “you're… happy with that?”

“if matty is, yeah,” you turn to him, smiling. “sound alright?”

he beams. “more than. thank you.”

“of course,” you turn back to the boss. “there you go. sorted.”

she sighs, relieved. “thank goodness for that. alright,” she stands, picking up her laptop and heading back to the main office. “i'll coordinate press passes. thanks for making that simple - you're both stars.”

“anytime!” you call after her, before turning back to matty. “you're sure you're happy to do this? i realise i've just given you more work to do, but…”

he laughs, a beautiful sound. “nah, i don't mind. also,” he shuffles in his seat, bashful again. “i actually have a spare ticket for the first show, if you'd like it - bought it before i saw it was on the review roster. doesn't seem fair that i get to go to two gigs while you only get one, i think. i mean, no pressure, obviously, but the offer's there.”

god, he’s so fucking cute. how could you ever say no to him? “i'd like that a lot, matty, thank you,” you beam at him. “i think us working together is going to be a lot of fun.”

matty beams back just as enthusiastically. “i think so too.”

#mads muses #mads does writing #office nerd au #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy x reader #matty x reader

[hrryshoney]

only angel

gynecologist!matty healy x reader

A/N: the ppl voted and my blog is a democracy. i’ve written a couple blurbs abt this but here is the full fic :) i love this freak nasty man so here u guys go. (also, don’t like it? don’t read it! ;)) abt 3.6k words. also ty to my friends molly, olive, and josie for helping me out w bits and pieces of this. ily guys @think0fmehigh @automaticllamacycle @ilwysleep

warnings: smut 18 +, breeding kink, cum play, degradation, praise, size kink, corruption kink, taboo topics/power imbalance (doctor/patient), fingering, a lil oral (fem receiving), light choking, light spanking (once across the face, completely consensual), masturbation w toy (f!), mean dom!matty, use of Bunny, maybe petplay if u squint, dom and sub dynamics, problematic age gap maybe (reader is 22/23, matty is 29/30), dirty talk, lots more this is filthy etc..

You felt restless. Matty was at work, and you were home clenching your thighs together. You didn't have a class today, and so that meant no distractions either. You were ovulating, and your body was making sure you knew that fact.

Matty had left you aching this morning. Riling you up on purpose. Lingering touches on your thighs, caressing your bare skin. He didn’t listen to your whines or pleas, condescendingly reminding you that he has ‘important work to do, more important than getting you off.’ So, you lay in bed tossing and turning. Waiting for Matty’s return, however pathetic that sounds.

And time seemed to drag, nothing working as an efficient distraction. Every time you turned in bed, you swore you could smell Matty's scent each time. You couldn't find a comfortable position, and you were seriously contemplating going back to sleep. There was no reason for you to be awake anyway. Not when you had to just wallow here.

You would touch yourself. Slip your hand down under the waistband of your panties, rubbing your clit until you cum over your own fingers. But, you did make a promise. A promise to Matty this morning that you would be a good girl and wait for him to get home from work. That if you did wait, he would reward you.

You were on the brink of insanity, to disobey him or not? You didn't think you could, so you let your eyes flutter shut. Falling back into a state of light sleep, the white noise of the fan lulling you into a dream that you weren't going to remember when you woke up.

...

You woke up the same way you went to sleep, a dull ache between your legs. Grinding your teeth together, you threw the covers off your hot body and made your way to the bathroom. You were happy your boyfriend had a master bedroom with an attached bathroom, it made everything easier. You reached for your toothbrush, catching your reflection in the mirror. And, maybe you did look a little desperate. But who could blame you? It was really Matty's fault.

After you brushed your teeth, you decided you would take a cold shower. If nothing could snap you out of the state you were in, surely this would. You reached in, turning the handle to the coolest setting. Grabbing two towels and hanging them over the glass, stepping into the shower.

Even being in the ice cold shower for at least 20 minutes was no help. Images of you and Matty in the shower together came flooding back, only making you clench your thighs together more. How he would squeeze your hips if he was here, pressing you up against the glass and moving to get between your legs.

You shook your head as if trying to rid yourself of the thoughts. Stepping out of the shower, you wrapped one of the towels around your body. Opening the door to the bedroom, you walked to Matty's dresser and took one of his old band tees out. You threw it on after drying yourself off, along with a pair of simple white panties that had a small bow on the front. The pair you had worn when you first met him, you smiled at the thought.

After that, you crawled back into bed. You really had nothing to do. No work to catch up on, no shows to watch, and nothing to focus on. Your attention still lingering on the way your cunt throbbed under the fabric of your panties. You tried to remind yourself, listen to your promise.

But weren't promises made to be broken, anyway? You reasoned with yourself. You knew Matty. You knew that even his punishments could be taken as rewards. You knew that he could never do anything too bad to you. So, break the rules you did.

You tried to lose yourself in the pleasure, fingers working yourself as you shut your eyes tightly. But they didn't hit the same spots that Matty's did. And they never felt the same. Then, you remembered. You remembered the toy Matty had bought you so you could use it together. The one he kept in a shoebox in his closet, along with the other toys you two would frequently use.

You got up from the bed, searching for the black box on the floor of Matty's closet. Finding it almost immediately, taking the lid off and searching for the toy. A dildo that was almost as big as him, the next best thing if he wasn't there for you. Not that it felt nearly as good, but it sufficed when you were desperate like this.

Walking the familiar journey, you lied back down on the bed. The cold sheets making goosebumps raise on your arms. Matty's scent completely enveloped you now that you had his shirt on. You ran your hands over your own body teasingly. You knew you didn't have to do much to prep yourself, you've been ready all day.

You let your fingers slide under the band of your panties, tracing your slit. You were already so wet, moaning quietly as your finger bumped your clit. You moved the fabric to the side, beginning to get impatient with yourself. Your fingers swirled around your entrance, collecting the slick that was dripping from you and bringing it up to your clit.

You rubbed circles on your bundle of nerves, resisting bucking your hips into your own hand. You took the toy, bringing it down to your hole. The tip of the dildo prodding at your entrance, you pushed it inside of you slowly. Moaning out, one of your hands slid under your (Matty’s) shirt to tweak at your nipple. You bit your lip hard enough to draw blood.

Pushing the toy fully inside of yourself, you brought your pointer finger to rub lightly at your clit. You could feel yourself clenching around it, brining your hand back to the base so you could move it in and out of you slowly. You breathing picked up, chest heaving as you allowed yourself to give in to pleasure.

That was your first mistake, you guessed. Or maybe that was not checking the time when you woke up. As you didn’t hear Matty’s car pull up in the driveway. Nor did you hear the front door close, or his footsteps as he made his way up the stairs. You didn’t hear the creek of the door, eyes squeezed shut and head thrown back in pleasure. But, you did hear the clicking of someone’s tongue. You gasped, hand coming to splay out over your chest. Eyes opening wide, head shooting up to see your boyfriend standing in the doorway.

Your body was warm all over. The fact that you had gotten caught, but also breaking his rules? You felt shame creep up your neck. The toy was still inside of you fully, cunt dripping wet as you looked at the smirk on Matty’s face. He walked over towards the bed, shaking his head the whole time.

“What’s this, princess? Didn’t listen to your Doctor’s orders?” He mused, knee leaning on the bed as he rubbed your bare thigh with one hand. He trailed one finger from your leg, scratching his fingernail over your abdomen as he brought it down to your other thigh. You twitched slightly and he chuckled.

You whined as Matty practically drank you in with his eyes. His hand coming up to bunch his old band tee between his fist. “N-no, m’sorry, Doctor. But you left me. You left me, and I’ve been so needy all day.” You felt childish, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. The faux pout you received back from Matty only made more arousal pour out of you.

Matty ignored your words, gazing at you like a predator. “Use this often when I’m gone, baby?” He pointed at the you, gesturing as if he was disgusted at the thought of you using it alone. “Only cock you should be taking is mine.” His tone was full of condescension and it made you dizzy. You clenched involuntarily. His eyes followed the movement, looking between your legs.

“Please, Doctor. I’m sorry. I want you so bad.” You begged for him, lashes fluttering as you looked up and tears filled your lash line. “Need you inside of me, it’s not the same. Want you to fill me up.” And maybe you were laying it on thick, but it was all the truth. You’ve been so needy for him all day.

“S’a shame, bunny.” He laughs at your reaction to the word, rolling your hips into the air. “You couldn’t listen to me. Think you deserve to get fucked with a real cock? That’s only for good girls, not whores like you.” He traced the outline of your panties that were pulled aside, lingering for a moment. Tapping the base of the dildo inside of you, he stretched the band of your elastic and let it snap back against your skin.

You groaned, feet planted on the bed as you raised your hips up. He circled your clit, pinching it lightly and watching the shock run throughout your body. “I- I am good, Matty. Please, I wasn’t gonna cum without you.” You whimper as Matty slaps the toy again, then grabbing the base and beginning to move it in and out of you.

Matty scoffs at your words. “You weren’t going to, or you just couldn’t?” He says with a definite tone, pulling the dildo fully out of you. He ran the silicone toy through your slick, then tapped it on your clit three times. You dig your nails into the sheets, trying to not move. “Wanna see you stuff yourself with it, since y’were so eager.” Matty takes his hands off your body completely, moving to the tent in his pants.

You could see that he was straining against his work pants, cock begging to be released from the confines of the fabric. You could imagine how it looked, all flushed and pretty, leaking precum for you. Matty palmed himself over the material, letting his hips buck up. He squeezed his very visible length. You swore your mouth watered.

Your hand went to the toy, body begging for some type of friction. You fucked yourself with it, getting lost in the way Matty looked as he rubbed himself over his pants. It felt good, but it wasn’t him. You would never be able to cum like this. “Doctor Healy, please. I need you so bad, you’re the only one who can make me feel like this. Nothing else.” You pleaded with him, hoping he’d show some mercy. Maybe you were wrong earlier, maybe Matty could stand to punish you.

As if he read your mind, Matty just smirked at you. He was almost breathless as he shook his head. “You couldn’t be a good girl, my good girl, and wait. Now you have to be satisfied with a plastic dick, princess.” His grin made you infuriated, skin heating up. You moved your hand between your legs faster, closing your eyes. You felt a slap on your thigh, your skin stinging from the impact. Your eyes snapped open. “Look at me. You were thinking of me, right? Well, now I’m in front of you. Don’t be selfish, bunny.” He spit his words at you meanly, the smirk on his face making you lightheaded.

You thought you could cry. You kept a steady rhythm, but you just couldn’t hit the right spots. “Please, Doctor. Need your help, can’t do it by myself. Don’t wanna think.” You jutted your bottom lip out, hand slowing down as Matty sat up straighter. He stopped palming himself, leaning closer to you. His hands trailed up your thighs, meeting between them where your hands were.

He took over, how moving the toy inside of you with more fervor than before. His other hand came to swipe at your clit, the position had you moaning gutturally. The lewd noises that emitted as he fucked you were enough to make you embarrassed. Of course, Matty had something to say. “Little slut can’t even touch herself properly? Guess I’ll have to teach her.” He moved the dildo at a particular angle that had you screaming out.

“Oh my God, Matty! Right there- Please, I’m gonna cum.” You barely got through your sentence before three of Matty’s fingers were on your clit. They rubbed the nerves harshly, determined to get you to your climax. Your whole body shuddered as you came, slurring out a mix of his honorific and his name. Falling from your lips like a prayer. Matty fucked you through your orgasm with the toy, pulling it out of you when he saw you had come down from you high. You felt Matty’s tongue come to lap at your clit, flattening it against your juices. Your hands immediately came to tug at his hair from overstimulation.

He leaned up, pulling you in for a bruising kiss. His hands were on either side of your jaw as he slipped his tongue in your mouth. He swallowed your moans, and you could taste yourself on his tongue. “Don’t we taste good together, princess?” You nodded obediently at him, and you saw the glimmer of mischief in his eye. “Wanna taste yourself again?” He asked nonchalantly, bringing the dildo that had just been inside of you to your lips. You opened your mouth eagerly. Lips wide and tongue flat, Matty shoved the toy inside your mouth. You moaned around the object, the taste of your own juices coating on your tongue. You opened your mouth and swirled your tongue along the tip for show, watching as Matty’s eyes darkened and jaw clenched. “Don’t be a fuckin’ tease.” He pushed the toy aside, shoving your jaw away.

His hand wrapped lightly around your throat, and he brought three fingers down to your entrance. You were already so fucked out, and you knew he wasn’t stopping anytime soon. Matty’s moved his hand and pushed your (his) shirt up over your chest. He pinched and played with your exposed nipples, sucking on them until they were completely hard. He blew on your sensitive buds, reveling in the way you squirmed from the cold air.

He pushed two fingers into your cunt easily, already being so wet and open for him. You gasped, clenching your thighs as me moved his digits rapidly. “Tight little cunt, even after I stretched you out like that. Practically fucked you open.” He shook his head, spitting on your pussy. “Can’t wait to fuck you dumb, princess.” He added another finger, stretching you out even more. “Perfect little cock sleeve for me. M’glad you know your place.” Matty spoke blissfully, almost more lost in it than you.

“P-please, Doctor. Need you inside of me. Want you to fuck me and fill me up.” You babbled and nodded your head, trying to chase another high as Matty’s fingers never ceased their relentless pace. You didn’t even realize what you said, but you realized how he slightly faltered. Rhythm stopping for a beat, breath hitching. His hand moved to your stomach, pressing down.

“Yeah, princess? Want me to put a baby in there? You want everyone to know you belong to me, that your doctor got you pregnant?” He snickered, removing his hand from your pussy. He took his fingers up to his mouth, sucking off any remnants of you.

Matty stood up to unzip his pants, finally feeling relief on his hard cock. He unbuttoned his top, shrugging it off to the floor. You got lost in his tattoos, how his muscular arms bulged every time he moved. You knew your mouth was agape, and you were just feeding his ego even more. But how could you not? Especially when he steps out of his pants, pulling his briefs down. His hard cock almost slapped against his abdomen, the tip an angry red color. He was leaking pre cum, and he stroked himself twice as he squeezed his length in his fist. “Open your legs for me.”

You put your legs up on the bed, opening them as wide as your body allowed. Your panties that had been pulled to the side were now fully discarded of, as he roughly pulled them off your body. Muttering something of how he ‘wasn’t gonna let anything get in the way.’ He lined himself up with your entrance, but didn’t push himself inside of you. You took that as your window to beg for him.

“Doctor- Matty, please. I need you inside of me so bad. Just wanna feel your cock inside my cunt, it’s all I need. Wanna feel you cum inside of me.” You whined out, your rambling coming to an end as he pushed inside of you without warning. Matty made you take him to the hilt, burying himself inside of your warm cunt. Your slick pouring out around him.

Matty pounded into you, hand finding home on your neck again. His hips slapped against yours, combining with your wetness and filling the room with filthy sounds. Both you and Matty’s moans filling the empty spaces. “Cunts clinging to me, just sucking me right in. Can tell she wants me to cum inside of her.” Matty stopped his rhythm for a moment just to slap your clit. “Tell me ‘thank you’.” He said smugly.

The way he talked about your pussy made you clench around him in embarrassment, face heating up. He tightened his grip on your throat, squeezing the sides. You felt dizzy in the best way possible.

“W-why should I? You haven’t even finished with me yet.” Your smirk and bratty attitude didn’t last for long, he lightly slapped you across the face. Just enough for it to sting. Your body felt like it was buzzing, and your hole clenched around him.

“Messy girl.” He tsked, hips stuttering. He pulled his cock out of you. Making you whine in protest. “Shouldn’t even fill you up, bad girls don’t deserve my cum.” You know he’s bluffing, but your eyes go wide in fear. He wouldn’t leave you high and dry.

“N-no! Matty, m’sorry. Please, Doctor. You know I need it.” You folded immediately. Your body was restless from the lack of contact know, the only thigh touching you were his hands ghosting up your sides.

He ignored your pleas. "You know, bunny," You moan out as Matty speaks, running the tip of his cock through your soaking folds, pulling back when you try to arch into him. "Best time to try and knock you up is right now, when you're ovulating." Whines fall from your lips helplessly, pleasure being robbed from you as he keeps pulling away from your cunt. Of course he remembers the cycles of your body. "Gotta make sure it takes. Can't have you wasting my cum, right?" He chuckles at your reaction, his thumb pressing down on your clit as he brings his cock to your entrance again.

You feel full again as he presses into you, and your body felt like it was on fire. You nodded along to everything he said, easily obeying him. You needed to cum, and you needed his cum, too. “God, Matty. I’m close, please.”

“Hold it.” He replies, rubbing hard and firm circles on your button. “Tight hole is creaming around me. Little bunny, should get you a collar. Tie you down and keep this pussy stuffed full all day.” You groaned out, no longer being able to string a coherent sentence together. All you could do was shake your head. Matty chuckled. “Yeah, bunny? Like that idea? Maybe we should get you a tail, too.” Your senses were on overdrive. Matty really was fucking you dumb. And he almost seemed pussy drunk himself.

“Come on, princess. Cum around my cock, let me feel you.” He spit on his fingers, bringing them down to your clit, letting it drip down to where you two were connected. It sent you over the edge, coming for the second time that night. Your eyes rolled back in your head, throat already sore from how you were screaming his name and title. You felt Matty’s dick twitch inside of you, his steady pace faltering.

“Fuck- gonna fill this cunt up.” He groaned out in a raspy voice, and you felt the warm liquid painting your insides as his chest heaved. You moaned at the feeling, loving how he felt inside of you. You could see beads of sweat on Matty’s forehead when you opened your eyes, and a blissful smile crossed your face. You moved the hair from his forehead, and he smiled back at you.

When Matty pulled out, you winced from the empty feeling. He watched as his cum started to leak out of you, reaching up by your head to grab a pillow from the top of the bed. He positioned it under your hips, scooping up the cum that had already dripped out and pushing it back inside of you. He bumped your clit as he did so, enjoying the way you jolted. He let his fingers slip inside of you again, hooking them as he found that spot that made you go crazy. You felt tears prick your eyes. Matty poured in faux sympathy. “Oh- I know, baby. I know. S’that my spot? Just know this little cunt too well.” He curled his fingers inside of you again, leaving them now to act as a sort of plug. You giggled, slapping his shoulder. “Matty!”

“What? M’gonna make sure you get pregnant.” You could barely see the brown in his eyes, pupils completely blown out. He smiled, leaning in to kiss the top of your forehead. “Wanna see you all round and full of me. Even if that means fucking you every day this week, and again tonight.” And from his tone of voice alone, you knew Matty was deadly serious.

#divider cred: @cafekitsune #enjoy ppl <3 #matty healy x oc #matty healy blurb #matty x reader #matty healy x reader #matty healy fluff #matty healy oneshot #matty healy smut #matty healy fic #matty healy x you #matty healy x y/n #matty healy x fem!reader #the 1975 smut #gyno!au #gyno!matty #gynecologist!matty #matty healy imagine

[tonguepiercedanyway75]

Smoking virgin // Matty Healy x reader

Summery: Matty teaches you how to be a perfect party guest.

warnings: 18+ mdni

Masterlist

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The sound of the car doors slamming shut is immediately replaced by the pulsating bass of the music thumped through the air. You and your best friend Jenna arrive at the party, that’s been planed over months now. Jenna dragged you here because she’s been talking your ears off every day of every week. You know that some guy is the only reason she wanted to go and at least she’s experienced at how to act. You don’t.

You never go to party’s, you never get drunk,smoke or take drugs. Jenna is already drunk and she’s stumbling towards the entrance, leaning on you for support. “Gosh, I hope he’s here and he’s down.” You hear Jenna say but you don’t respond, Your gaze is turned towards the beer bottles which are being kicked around by some men. Drunk men.

Jenna takes two cups from the guy who greets you, then she hands one to you. “Have some, will do you gooood.” She laughs and you give her a tiny smile to assure her she doesn’t have to worry about you.

You make your way through the crowd, to the kitchen to get yourself an overview over the party. You know a handful of people which you’ve all said hello to. There are two people you have not seen yet. George and Matty. Jenna introduced you to them a few months ago and they had your complete attention.

Not only did you find them attractive, but the way they speak is fascinating. They are smart with the words they use. Off stage or on stage Matty’s intelligence and magnetism never fails to captivate those around him. Which is why Matty is your favorite. However you also hear things. How he gets around and has a new girl every week. He’s hot and everyone knows that and you’re a girl who is as innocent as a pair of newborn kittens frolicking in a field of daisies.

Your friends hands on your shoulders rip you from your daydream. “I’m gonna find Aaron and I’m gonna shoot my shot. You’re fine here right?” Before you can answer she is across the room anyway, waving her arms to her music “have fun!” she screams.

“She looks like she’s having fun,” you recognize the voice, because it doesn’t only go straight to your head but to your core as well. “Unlike you. Think you need something stronger than that.” You turn your head to the boy with the dark curls and the dark shirt.

“Here,” he hands you a bottle of liquor while offering you a kind smile and you take it from him. Your hand touches his as you take the bottle and take a sip. “Thanks,” you mumble before wiping your mouth with your sleeve.

“She just left you alone or?” Matty asks with a smirk on his face and you laugh while shaking your head. “Yeah, she’s on a mission,” you wiggle your eyebrows before handing him the bottle again.

“S’ means you won’t see her again tonight.” You know he’s right, if Jenna isn’t already with the guy, she’ll most definitely stay with him the whole night. “Tell you what, let’s have our own fun, come with me.”

Matty looks cold with his outfit being all black plus the scar he’s wearing. Only few centimeters away and you smell the acrid, stale, lingering smell of his cigarettes. You’ve never had one but because Matty smokes one every 10 minutes it has become a smell of comfort.

He leads you outside the house, into the garden where only a few people hangout. Most of them are smoking or making out. Matty doesn’t stop, he makes the way around the house to a quiet spot.

You sit down on a not so high wall. Matty sits down and puts the bottle next to him. Then he throws the end of his cigarette on the ground. He hands you a new one before lighting his own. You observed how he lit his cigarette, it’s easy. He hands you his lighter.

You put the white side between your lips and flick the lighter. It doesn’t light though. There’s just smoke. Shit this is so embarrassing. Matty laughed at you “fucks sake, this your first time?”

You nod at him but avoid his gaze. He takes the lighter from your hand which makes you think he’s done hanging out with you if you can’t even smoke properly. But when he takes your cigarette and puts it between your lips again, you feel giddy.

“When I light the cigarette you need to suck hard enough to produce a decent amount of smoke in your mouth, which you then can inhale down into your lungs.” You follow his eyes as he explains this.

“The first time you breathe in the smoke don’t inhale down your lungs, push the smoke out. Then the cig is ready.” Your breath is shaky but it’s not a big deal, smoking. Matty asks you if you’re ready and you are.

He lights the cigarette and you do as he says, you suck the smoke in. Maybe a little too hard because the smoke goes into your lungs. You start coughing real bad and Matty just smiles at your try.

“Happens, try again,” you take the cigarette and try on your own. It’s not as bad as the first time but it’s not great either. You again have to cough as you exhale the smoke. “Shit,” you mumble. You let the cig rest between your pointing and middle finger.

“Your body definitely doesn’t want to inhale smoke. The more you do it the more your lungs will start getting used to the harshness of the smoke.” He’s already on his second cigarette and you slowly don’t have to cough every time you inhale.

Now you exhale the smoke again but this time you feel dizzy. You want to lay down because you feel like you’re going to faint. Matty notices, “you’re havin’ a nicotine shock. Don’t worry it’s gonna go away.”

You believe him. “Thanks,” you say and hold up the cigarette, “for teaching me.” He grins and lifts your chin with his thumb.

“I’ll teach you anythin’ you want love.” You take him by his word. Suddenly you feel more relaxed and more confident. You start saying words trying to explain what you want.

“Words please, can’t do shit if you don’t tell me what you want.” God. You hate him for being so attractive.

“There’s just,” you breathe, “people exchange smoke sometimes. You know one person breathes the smoke into the mouth of the other. I just, maybe we could.” You blush and you’re very sure he notices. Matty lights something that looks like a cigarette but it’s thicker.

“You mean shotgunning.” Matty grins from ear to ear because he do knows you find him attractive. What you don’t know is that Matty finds it so hot you’re that innocent. “It’s a joint, you don’t do that with cigarettes.” Now you’re nervous, but the booze is getting to your head and the smoke and Matty fucking Healy.

“I’m gonna take a drag, hold the smoke in, flip the joint, which means you’re gonna take the joint in your mouth then I’m gonna blow the smoke through the joint while you’re hitting it.” Sounds fun as well but that’s not what you meant. You want direct contact with Matty’s smoke not through a joint.

You don’t really want to smoke that as well. Cigarettes are enough for now. He takes a drag and you hesitate. “I don’t think I want that.” He looks at you, not in an angry way but he’s very understanding.

“ ‘s fine, thought you wanted to share smoke.” It’s a dream even sitting here with him, he’s way out of your league.

“I do!” It comes our way too fast and way too enthusiastic. “Just not through a joint you know.” Now he gets it and now he really smiles.

“I see,” he changes his position, so he faces you with his entire body. “Then it’s just the same for you, just inhale the smoke and let me do the rest.” You nod and he gets closer to you every second. You open your mouth but you don’t dare to close your eyes.

Matty takes the smoke inside his mouth and holds it, he comes close to you and lifts your head. You feel his face and then you feel his lips grazing yours. Your breath hitches but you don’t have time to recover because now you feel smoke entrancing your mouth. You inhale the smoke but you still feel Matty’s lips on yours.

“Don’t forget to exhale sweetheart,” he removes his face and the smoke comes out of your mouth through a big cough. What is he doing to you. You don’t know if it’s the smoke that’s in your body or butterflies. Either way its an amazing feeling, but it riles you up.

“Again.” It comes out as a surprise to the both of you, but you do want that again. You want to feel his lips brushing against yours, you’re getting addicted.

“Yeah? Wanna do it again?” This time he pulls you closer by your waist. His hand remains on your side. “Liked it this much?” You nod and lick your lips, you keep a gap for the smoke and this time you close your eyes.

“Jesus-“ you hear Matty say before you feel him in front of your face again. His lips touching yours ever so slightly again, then you feel the smoke again. You open your eyes and exhale the smoke next to Matty’s face. You stay there, looking at each other. Matty’s eyes drop to your lips. You can’t stand the tension.

“Had your first kiss right?” You nod but don’t tell him that your last kiss was a year ago. “Good.” He says while crashing his lips to yours. He’s too strong, that’s why you let yourself lean back so you’re laying on the grass and Matty on top of you.

His hands find its way under your shirt, feeling your naked skin. You gasp into his mouth at the contact of his cold hands. An excuse for Matty to graze his tongue against yours. It’s hot and it’s everything you’ve ever wanted. One hand is in Matty’s hair while the other is on his back pressing him even closer. He gets the attempt and grinds his bulge into you. “Shit,” you moan while your head rolls back. Your neck on open display for Matty. His mouth trails down your neck, to your shoulder. Then he lifts your shirt and trails wet kisses up your stomach to your breasts. “You’re fucking beautiful.”

You feel like a teenager. Making out on some meadow at a random party with a really hot guy.

Matty’s mouth finds yours once again, his hand trailing down your stomach finding the zipper of your jeans. “Can I?” Is this really happening, you close your eyes and open them to know that you’re not dreaming.

“Yes please,” he opens the zipper and slips his hand under your panties. You groan and buck up against his hand. “Relax, m’gonna make you feel so good.” He slips one finger through your folds.

The sound that escapes him at feeling the wetness between your legs makes you clench your thighs together. Matty gently pries your legs apart again, continuing his slow movements. He brushes his long fingers lightly over your clit— but not enough to give you the pressure you need. You can’t help but whine, already eager for more.

“So needy,” he mumbles. You feel his weight over you as he kisses you deeper, and then starts rubbing your swollen clit. You moan into his mouth, bucking your hips. Your back arches against him as he pushes one finger inside, going deeper than you ever managed yourself.

“Good?” You can’t give him a proper answer but your panting tells him it’s good. He pumps slowly a few times, then pulls all the way out and inserts two. Your hands pull his lips against yours again, enjoying his composure. Matty grinds his hips against your leg.

The feeling of his fingers inside of you is overwhelming you at the best. You clench around him as he is hitting the spot over and over again. “C’mon baby, wanna feel you.” He whispers and god he turns you on more and more.

“Holy shit,” you gasped, he has you where he wants you, you coming around his fingers. You moan and your hand goes from his hair to your mouth, trying to cover every sound that leaves your mouth. He rides out your orgasm and pulls his finger from you, taking them into his mouth.

“Taste like heaven sweetheart, shit,” you watch him and then he leans down and kisses you again. You can taste yourself on his tongue and shit you never want to leave ever again. Matty palms himself through his jeans but his mouth won’t leave yours. “So good baby,” he mumbles out, but a loud scream makes you both pull away.

“OH- MY- GOD,” shit. You quickly zip up your pants and stand up. Matty’s pupils are fucking enlarged and his hair is messy. You don’t want to know what you look like. While you are embarrassed and want to sink into the ground, Matty has a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Here,” he hands you a cigarette and a lighter. “Take that, you’ll need it. Besides you have to give me the lighter back eventually.” He winks. He fucking winks, takes the bottle and walks away.

Worst timing ever goes to your best friend. “Oh my god,” she repeats, “you and Matty. Girl you better tell me everything.” It’s gonna be a long fucking night.

#the 1975 #the 1975 fic #matty healy x you #matty healy fluff #matty healy smut #matty healy oneshot #matty healy imagine #matty healy #the 1975 smut

[alovesreading]

Chicken Shop Date | Part 8 |

By @imagine-that-100​​​ and @alovesreading​​​

Description: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You and your best friend Amelia came up with a very simple idea of taking celebrities on awkward chicken shop dates, and somehow, it’s managed to become both of your jobs. In the past, you’ve found sitting across from some of the biggest stars on the planet and eating chicken nuggets easy. But then Amelia manages to score you a date with the man who you’ve been obsessed with since you were nineteen; Matty Healy.

Word Count: 28.6k

A/N: Hey besties!! We’re back and this one’s another fun one for you! We were reminiscing about the UK tour writing this one, giving those good days a CSD twist and we hope you enjoy it loads. It was so much fun to write the shit everyone would get up to on the road, but can you believe this one was meant to be the end of this series? Mentalllllllll. Please make sure to check out the author’s note at the end of this as it’s an important one. Thanks for reading! Enjoy! xx

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | 

| N’s Masterlist | A’s Masterlist |

~*~*~*~ 14th January ~*~*~*~

“Baby please.”

The begging has been going on for about half an hour. It’s come and gone in waves but Matty’s getting more and more desperate and more persistent.

“Please baby, please.” Matty pouts, looking pained now, “I need you.”

You raise your eyebrows at him, in yet another way of questioning him. His arms are tight around your waist, not letting you move from straddling his lap because he thinks that will be how he gets his way.

“You’re being so needy.” You smirk, shaking your head, not giving in to his pitiful pleas.

“Please, please, please.” He looks like he could start crying and it takes everything in you not to laugh. You try and push yourself up off him but he grips your hips even tighter, not letting you move an inch away.

“Matty.” You sigh, your hands resting on his shoulders as you tell him, “I can’t.”

“You can.” Matty changes tactics then and leans in and kisses his way up your neck until he’s whispering in your ear, “Please baby, I really want you to come.”

“No,” You grab a handful of his curls then and pull him back so you can look at him and say, “I can’t come on tour with you Matty.”

Your boyfriend whines, “But you said before I even asked the question that you don’t have anything planned until you go to Copenhagen in February. And you’re coming to half the fucking dates anyway. Please.”

“I will be in the way.” You shake your head.

He promises, “You won’t!”

“Matty, I would be like a spare part, not to mention your tour bus would be full to the brim if I tagged along.” You shake your head, not seeing at all how he could change your mind.

“You wouldn’t,” He frowns, silently scorning you for thinking like that before a hint of a grin comes to his face as he says, “And you’d be sleeping in my bunk, with me.”

“That's going to be so comfy,” You roll your eyes, “Two tall people in a coffin sized bunk for more than two weeks.”

“Thanks for admitting I’m tall baby, but listen.” He looks all proud of himself for his height for a second before he goes into getting his points across again, “We’re in hotels in Cardiff and back home for Manchester so it’s only like a week on the bus really.”

“The bus isn’t the issue Matty.” You sigh, giving him the honest answer, “The issue is I’ll be in the way, feeling useless.”

The bunk wouldn’t be an issue for you at all. You both practically sit on each other's lap when you’re with no other company anyway so sharing a small bed will be the least of your worries. You just know that you’ll feel useless and that you’re a hindrance to things running smoothly.

“Charli’s coming,” Matty raises his eyebrows, “You saying she’s useless?”

“She has musical value.” Your excuses fall easily from your lips, but you can’t help but smile at the way he’s begging, “Can’t you just be happy with me coming to the dates I’m already coming to. You’ll see me every five days.”

“So there's absolutely no reason you can’t see me for the other four in between.” Matty acts playfully annoyed, saying that through his teeth before he leans in to kiss you. “Besides, you really think you’re coming to the gig and then I just leave you that night? Absolutely not… I have needs.”

“You have my Instagram.” You backchat and Matty groans loudly.

There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips as he says, “Whilst I love that you put your Golden Globes dress on there for me to wank to Y/N, I’d prefer it if you were just there to wank me off instead.”

“So romantic.” You snort in laughter.

“Please, you’re obsessed with me and my boys and my music.” Matty pouts with absolutely no dignity left, “And I’m obsessed with you. Please come on tour with me?”

“You’re right, I am obsessed with you,” You smile, kissing his nose to combat the bad news you’re about to give him, “But no, I’m not coming on tour, and that’s that.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

So, Matty persuaded you to come on tour.

It ended up being as easy as him teasing an orgasm out of you, followed later by three phone calls. The first to Amelia, where he asked for proof that you were free - which you were - and then asked if he could steal her best friend away to join him on tour, and Amelia only laughed but didn’t hesitate at all to say of course.

The second call was to his manager Jamie. Where Matty asked Jamie to explicitly tell you how it was not an issue if you came along, and he even said that you could help their photographer Jordan put together a few social media posts if you really wanted something to do. But you were welcome to come along regardless and that the 1975 family would be lucky to have you.

And the third call was to the queen of pop herself, Miss Charli XCX. And it was Charli who really made you agree to joining them as she pleaded with you to tag along. She jokes how she can’t be the only groupie to come along on tour with them (Carly apparently didn’t count) and if you’re really honest, you just can’t say no to Charli at all. It feels wrong to, so after ten minutes of her and Matty giving you their best arguments, you gave in and agreed to join them.

That evening you and Matty went over to your flat where you packed a large suitcase full of everything you could need, and the next day you were on the tour bus with them heading on the rest of their UK tour. And god, you were so glad you agreed to join them.

There’s never a dull moment in that tour bus, it’s either the lads managing to make everyone laugh with their random occurrences, sharing spliffs turning into funny stories being aired for everyone to laugh at or games that end up in the same interesting way they started as.

Being around for soundcheck felt like you’d won some kind of prize. A glimpse into how it all works is so entertaining for you, not to mention them singing to an empty arena that pretty much just has you, Charli, and Carly in it is so much fun.

There have been so many times that you’ve caught yourself just staring up at them on stage and being in awe all over again. But Matty can’t help but find you so entertaining, you’re either singing loudly along at the barrier before Charli pulls you to dance with her, and he is smiling the whole way through what he usually finds boring and inconvenient.

Matty has absolutely adored having you come along on tour. Your presence alone makes him so much more joyful, and everyone who was present for the beginning of the tour has seen the difference. He feels more himself, more alive, and so much happier. And it’s all down to you.

The boring moments on the tour bus, you made them so much better for him. The hours he had to sit with his vocal steamer on, it made it so much nicer when you were lying with your head in his lap or his in yours. You’d both play with each other's hair, listen to music, and now and again chat to each other and the others. But Matty couldn’t stop grinning the whole time.

Even during the first few performances when you were somewhere lost in the crowd and he couldn’t find you, still you made your presence known to him. The first time it was just accidental though, you had written him a note as everyone was discussing the setlist and you’d slipped it into his pocket as a joke thinking he would notice and check.

Matty, however, hadn’t noticed your sleight of hand in the green room and he later found the note when he reached into his pocket half way through the Being Funny section of the set. He pulled out the crumpled up piece of paper and opened it on stage, accidentally laughing down the microphone when he read your words.

I’m trying this again: play antichrist x Pretty, please xx Picture me pouting at you, how can you say no to that? xoxox

The singer was well aware the crowd of people were confused about the note that they could see on the screens, and his laughter, but all Matty did was pocket the note again (fully intending to keep it) and grab his guitar and start playing the chords to I’m In Love With You.

The next day he caught you putting another note in his pocket but he kept quiet, wanting to read it on stage again as a little reminder of you to look forward too during his set. And it's again before he’s due to play I’m In Love With You that his hand dips into his pocket and he finds the note.

He’s smiling instantly, expecting it to be another note pleading for Antichrist, but instead this one is a little different, yet still entirely you.

I need a hug and six months of sleep x (maybe a kiss too)

When he laughs at this one, he hears George ask what's so funny through his in-ears but he elects to ignore him. Once again just picking up his guitar and singing the entirety of I’m In Love With You with a huge grin on his face.

The 3rd time it’s Cardiff night 2 and when he reads the note that night he knows you’ve done it on purpose. You’re a fucking menace who loves to tease him even when you’re not in his presence. As that night the note read:

You better think of me on that settee x

He didn’t laugh that night, no instead his dick twitched and he was reminded about your morning in the hotel and how you were both interrupted before anything could happen (you fell straight asleep as soon as you got in bed the night before) and you had been subtly teasing him all day. Whispering things in his ear, leaving longing touches on him knowing he couldn’t react how he would if the two of you were alone, and then the note.

He didn���t need you to explicitly instruct him to think of you during consumption, as he always did anyway. But this time he put a little more effort into his performance, hoping to tease you a little in the crowd.

And tease you he did. That night you watched as he teased himself on screen, smoking and letting his hands trail down his body until he squeezed himself through his trousers, and your mouth went dry with want when he simulated pulling on someone's hair. On your hair.

Needless to say that when you got back to the hotel room that night, you were on your back almost instantly, Matty’s head dipping between your thighs until you were on the verge of coming undone on his tongue. But he edged you time and time again until you were whimpering, pleading for him to fuck you like no one else could.

It was lucky you were spending another night at the hotel really because Matty doesn’t know what he would have done if you were both stuck not being able to find any relief until another two days' time when you were due in Glasgow. Thankfully he didn’t have to find out. You both alleviated the tension between you that night and again the following morning before you all returned to the bus to start the long drive up to Glasgow on their off day.

The journey wasn’t so bad, you got to have a good laugh with the band, especially loving the time you got to spend with Adam and Carly’s little boy. You got to play with him when he wasn’t down for a nap and Matty loved every second of seeing you and his nephew interact.

You remember that afternoon, Carly had just changed the baby after he woke up from his nap and she’d let you have him. One of your favourite things to do with him was sit him down on your lap and read him one of his little books he had and let him blabber on and on as he tried to copy the words you were saying. But he had started crying in the middle of you trying to get him to say ‘orange’ and you couldn’t find a reason for why he was so upset.

Uncle Matty had come to the rescue and got him from you, and it was when he picked him up that he realised he needed another change, so you went with him to change the baby’s nappy.

It was going so well, you distracting baby Hann keeping him happy and calm as Matty changed him, but Matty made the awful mistake of letting him hold the baby powder. It was once he splayed out the new nappy under him, the baby waved his arms happily at the freedom, Matty had been bathed in talcum powder.

Matty immediately froze, face and hair covered in white, his top had a few streaks of white powder sticking to it and baby Hann had managed to get some on his little chest and arm but he had giggled loudly with you when you cackled at the situation.

Blowing harshly to get rid of the talcum off his lips, Matty huffed out a soft, “I didn’t know it was open.” which amused you even more, doubling over in laughter but taking away the powder bottle from the baby’s hands so he wouldn’t continue making a mess.

Your boyfriend loved to pride himself in doing everything right so you’d taken the mishap to tease him a bit, “Uncle Matty struggling for once, who would’ve thought?”

He’d only rolled his eyes at you, and you watched out of the corner of your eye how he rubbed the powder off himself as you wiped it off the baby and finished changing his nappy.

When you’d gone back to the lounge with everyone and placed a happy again baby Hann on your lap and continued trying to get him to say the names to different fruits, you found him looking at you with adoring eyes.

But not even the sparkle in his eye would make you forget what had happened, so, letting the baby speak gibberish as he harshly pointed at the banana on the book’s page, you turned to Matty and sighed, “I wish I had taken a picture.”

His smile had fallen and he glared at you before rolling his eyes to chat back sarcastically, “I’m sure you do.”

And the rest of the day you had made a joke of ruffling his hair swearing there was some more talcum powder left. The last time you do this, he ends up telling you it’s just his grey hairs and you exaggerate a gasp, pretending like you’ve just now realised.

“Right, I forgot you’re an actual grandad.” You sucked air through your teeth like the fact was making you wince.

But then he went all cute when he flipped it around by reminding you, “And you’re a grandma so it’s meant to be, really.”

A chuckle was your response, which died quickly when he pressed his lips on yours to kiss you sweetly, half to shut you up and half because he’d been dying to for the past few minutes.

That afternoon, both of you ended up catching some alone time, which was really nice when you’re on a bus with sixteen other people. You’re in the back lounge listening to one of your many playlists, both with an AirPod in each ear and lying on the back settee with Matty behind you while you’re watching as the world goes by as you travel further north.

You’re sitting between Matty’s legs, your back against his chest and you both occasionally catch yourselves singing or humming along to the music. Matty wouldn’t change the scenario for the world, he gets to lie there with you against him, kissing the top of your head whenever he feels like, and he absentmindedly plays with the end of your hair.

The singer doesn’t even mind when one of his songs starts up, he finds it amusing that you have absolutely no shame with it being on there. And knowing now that it’s one of your new favourites he even loves hearing you softly sing along.

“Do you think that I’ve forgotten?” You quietly sing, “Do you think that I’ve forgotten? Do you think that I’ve forgotten, about you?”

Hearing that though makes Matty frown, and he waits until you sing it again as confirmation. His biggest fan in the world and now also his girlfriend, has got the lyrics wrong.

He’s trying not to laugh when he gets your attention, “Baby?”

“Yeah.” You ask, tilting your head back a little to look up at him.

He looks really pretty with the way the dimming light is hitting his face through the window. His skin is like it's glowing with the way the sun shines on him, and you find yourself thinking you’re so lucky again especially with the way he’s smiling at you.

Matty can’t help but smirk, “You know you’re getting the lyrics to that wrong, right?”

“No I’m not.” Instantly you frown up at him, entirely defensive.

“Yes,” Matty tries not to laugh, “You are.”

Your frown deepens, your whole face scrunching up as you ask, “Which bit?”

“The main bit,” He tells you, “Do you think I have forgotten… you’re singing ‘do you think that I've forgotten’.”

“They’re the lyrics.” You nod, looking at him like he’s stupid.

He can’t stop himself from chuckling, “No they’re not, baby.”

“Yeah, they are,” You nod, sitting up a little and turning to look at him properly, “I’ve been singing that since the album dropped.”

“Y/N,” Matty grins, entirely amused by you not believing him, “I wrote the song, I think I know the lyrics.”

At that you scoff, “You literally tell people that they are brave for getting lyrics tattooed because you have a tendency for changing them.”

You have a point there to be fair. So Matty just nods down to your phone and tells you to, “Listen to the song again then if you don’t believe me.”

So you do, you start About You again and when you really listen to the lyrics, the little shit might be right. But you’re not having it still, and your denial only makes this even funner to Matty.

You huff when the song ends, still frowning, “As soon as this bus stops we’re going to HMV so I can buy a CD or a vinyl or something so I can see the lyrics.”

“Baby.” Matty says knowingly, whilst grinning like a fool.

“No,” But you’re not having it, “I don’t believe it until I see it officially in the lyrics in the album.”

“Y/N,” Your boyfriend tries to remind you, “I literally wrote the song.”

“And yet I don't trust you even a little bit.” You say, getting yourself up and giving him a snarky smile before you pinch the airpod out of his ear and head back to the others in the main lounge.

On your way you can hear Matty laughing but he doesn’t say anything when he enters the room a moment later. All that he does is grin, knowing he’s right for once, and the grin stays on his face for another hour until you’re pulling him off the bus and into the bustling city centre.

You had to be quick, getting your shoes and coats on and into an anonymous enough state that you wouldn’t be recognised. Well, mostly Matty, hip putting his hood up instantly wrapping himself up in his big coat with sunglasses on as the light was starting to disappear. You did feel like an idiot when he put sunglasses on you too, but then he reminded you that you were keeping your relationship out of everyone else's business for now so he even pulled up your hood too.

You were on a mission to reach HMV before it closed and thankfully you got there with about 20 minutes to spare. It was nice walking hand in hand with Matty though, and chatting about what was going on around you and all the stuff that you liked that you saw in different shop windows.

Matty tried to suggest you go in and have a look before everything closes but you pulled him along with you until you were inside HMV and had a CD of Being Funny In A Foreign Language in your hands. Your boyfriend finds you adorable when you had a grin on your face when you picked it up, as if it wasn’t going to be on the shelf. He can’t help but smile at you.

But his smile falls from his face when you walk up to the A section and pick up a copy of AM and tell him, “I’m going to get Flo to get him to sign it for me.”

Matty just shakes his head and pulls you along to the till, wanting more time wandering around while the shops were still open. Once you handed over the CDs, thankfully Matty managed not to let you pay for them as he beat you to getting his phone on the card machine, something which you scorned him for until you were out of the shop and he shut you up with a kiss.

With the rest of the evening free, you and Matty ended up having an impromptu date. You ended up walking to the Cineworld which wasn’t a far walk and you ended up going to watch M3GAN as there weren't many other good options. This you thankfully ended up paying for, much to Matty’s dismay, but you reminded him that you said you would be paying on the next date so you got your drinks and popcorn too.

Both of you sat in the back corner where you happily remained undetected by anyone and Matty couldn’t stop smiling at the fact he got to hold your hand for the entirety of the film. Even if the film was mediocre at best, he was glad he got to chuckle away with it with you by his side.

Only when you both made it back to the bus just after 10:30, did you find that it was just Adam, Carly, and baby still on board, as everyone else had gone out drinking. They were watching a film in the back lounge so you and Matty just said a quick hello before keeping to yourselves.

There was a quick conversation about possibly going to join the others but Matty didn’t want to. He selfishly wanted you all to himself for a while longer. It's when you get your shit out of your bag that you notice the CDs that until now have remained untouched. You pull Being Funny out with a smile and turn to your boyfriend who’s already noticed what you have and is smirking at you, waiting expectantly.

You’re eager to wipe that look from his face so you sit down beside him and carefully take the CD out of the sleeve it comes in and you pick out the lyrics sheet. Finding About You is easy but then your world crumbles, you’re wrong.

Do you think I have forgotten about you?

Matty cackles when your face falls and you just silently fold the sheet back up and slip it back beside the CD with a look of defeat on your face. Your boyfriend pulls you into him and you fall into his chest as you stubbornly stay rigid in his arms.

He giggles, “I told you so.”

You push yourself out of his grasp, jokingly keeping the annoyed facade going and you push the cd into his chest as you get up, “You can sign it now for that comment, dick.”

“Aw,” Matty coos and throws the CD to the table. He jokes as he wraps his arms around you, still wanting to laugh, “Knew you were only with me to make money on Ebay.”

“Got that right.” You nod and Matty just cackles as he places kisses on your cheeks.

The following night in Glasgow when soundchecking, Matty pulled you onto the stage with him as he sang the correct version of About You, and he pulled you around the ‘house’ with him. And you pretending not to be impressed lasted about 10 seconds because you just ended up grinning and singing along the entire time.

Even more so when he had you kneel down on the floor in front of the table and he stood on it and reached down with his microphone to put it against your chin, exactly like he did to the girl in the Robbers music video. Needless to say, you got all flustered but you played your part anyway, even sticking your tongue out like the girl did in the video and Matty let his fingers dance across your tongue for a second.

When you knelt back on your ankles, so you could sing along with Polly, Matty then got down and sat on the edge of the table and he slowly leant in to kiss you. “Having fun?” He mouthed and you gently nodded until his lips took yours. It felt magical kissing him on stage, especially because you knew it all felt a little bit meta with it looking exactly like the Robbers video as he was singing the follow up to it.

That night on stage at the actual show, your note made Matty laugh, reminding him of yesterday with the talcum powder incident with his nephew.

Greys looking beautiful tonight grandad x

The Glasgow crowd was great, you loved every single second of being in that crowd. You spent a bit of your time with Jordan that night, going to different places with him and watching him take pictures from afar before you ultimately made yourself at home in the pit.

You thought that this being your 6th show, you would have somehow found it less painful to leave the pit during Give Yourself A Try, but it’s not. It still pains you each time you do it, but thankfully you can still hear it when you disappear off to head backstage with Jamie.

It ends up being an hour and a half before you end up back on the bus, and that night you were heading straight down to Manchester. Somewhere you’re really eager to go because you’d only been a handful of times and you really didn’t know the ins and outs of the city like Matty does, so when he promised you a tour you got really excited at the thought. You couldn’t wait till tomorrow to get there.

But it was that night on the bus when you needed to squeeze out of the bunk to get yourself a drink that you noticed your tote from the previous day was folded up on the table. You grab it, intending to put it in the mesh pocket of yours and Mattys bunk so you don’t lose it, but instead you feel CDs. And that’s when you remember your purchases.

You take them out, smiling when you see AM, knowing Flo will find it funny that you bought it. But it’s when you see Being Funny that you’re a little shocked and your heart doubles in size.

Never for a second did you think Matty would actually sign the CD for you, but he did sign his name in the top right hand corner with three kisses underneath it. But it’s what he’s written on the left side that has you melting.

// Be A Riot //

It’s then that you know that the man who wrote that for you is probably the most special person in your life, as even though it may seem like such a simple lyric to write, it means so much more. You fully allow yourself to give in to every little happiness he brings you from that moment on, and it starts with you going back to your bunk and plastering hundreds of kisses across his face before you settle down and whisper to each other just how obsessed you are and falling asleep in each other's arms.

~*~*~*~ 20th January ~*~*~*~

Manchester is so much fun, especially with Matty by your side. He really is the best tour guide, and he had been everywhere else you’d been, but he seems to come alive in his hometown.

He holds your hand the entire time, both of you dressed in your disguises so no one spots you wondering around the day of their gig. It made you giggle at the amount of people in 1975 tops that you passed but thankfully Matty evaded detection.

You felt like you were watching your boyfriend's Zane Lowe interview all over again because Matty took you around the same places the video showed. But it was so much fun with Matty explaining to you properly and in detail the shit that he and the boys got up to when they were younger.

First he takes you around the Northern Quarter, he shows you the square of bars that will be heaving later on that night and he shows you the spot where he wrote The City back in the day and you don’t even try and hide your smile from him.

Going to Afflecks and seeing their poster up on the wall surrounded by so many other posters of musical legends fills your heart and you can’t help yourself taking a quick picture of it to keep for yourself.

You were gutted you couldn’t take a picture with it but when you look up the stairs to the right and you catch a glimpse of a photo booth, you almost drag Matty upstairs with you so you can freely take a picture together without risking getting caught.

He’s faster than you when he pays for the pictures once you’re inside and the curtain’s drawn, and you both quickly put your hoods down and take off your sunglasses so that you don’t take pictures in your disguises.

At first you think 6 poses is going to be a job for you to come up with in less than 5 seconds in between pictures but your boyfriend makes you giggle so much that it comes natural when you mess about in front of the camera.

Matty’s cute though, cupping your jaw and giving you a sweet kiss for the last one and when you see them all printed, you melt in his arms. He steals one last kiss as you finish getting yourselves back into your disguises and you make sure to carefully put the photo strips away before you walk out of the booth.

Before you have to go back to the venue for soundcheck, he takes you to Gorilla and when you get there he tells you what he has planned for the gig they’re going to have there.

He nonchalantly says, “We’re doing all of self titled.” and you gasp loudly in response.

“What?!” Is the only thing you can say after that information has been dumped on you.

Matty chuckles in amusement, “Yeah… Thought you’d like that news.”

“Not when I have a trip to Copenhagen planned for Amelia’s Birthday!” You hide your face in your hands and take a deep breath before asking, “Deluxe version or just the regular version?”

“What happens if I say deluxe…” Matty taunts you with a smirk, but when you drop your hands and glare at him very seriously, he presses his lips together not to laugh.

“You better not.” It’s all you warn him with, even the thought of that happening makes you sick.

He wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his chest, dropping a kiss on your cheek and then one on the corner of your mouth and right before he can trap your lips in a sweet kiss, he whispers, “The regular version.”

You allow yourself to melt into him for a bit, but when his tongue teases your bottom lip, you pull away to make him suffer a bit for what you’re going to miss soon. Your hand comes up to his cheek and you pat it softly, “It better be.”

Going back to the venue was a bit more hectic than you expected, you had to be very careful with not getting caught by the big queue of fans lining up outside the venue for the show. But once inside, thanks to Mark and Scott being the absolute best, being around everyone again is a relief. A newfound sense of familiarity that you’re growing to cherish, therefore you’re dreading the end of tour in only 10 days.

When you walk out to watch the lads on stage and you see Charli up there with them, George guiding her into the house through the door and showing her the way around, your jaw drops.

“Are you the surprise tonight?!” You ask loudly, your hand hovering over your mouth in shock.

Charli offers you a smirk and nods, “Yes baby!”

You squeal in excitement, and watch as she quickly rehearses what her entrance will be like. She puts on a little show for you as she sings a few scattered lines of Vroom Vroom into a microphone that doesn’t play through the speakers. Of course she couldn’t soundcheck properly so that no one could hear and ruin the surprise, but she trusted that it would go smoothly when the time came for her to walk in on stage.

Carly, Charli and you are standing against the barricade fence after your pop star friend has finished her brief rehearsal and you watch the lads soundcheck with a big smile on your faces.

Their banter makes you all laugh, and you all join in taking the piss of each other here and there. When your boyfriend taps his trouser’s pocket with his brows raised, you know it’s his silent way to ask about getting a note tonight and you wink at him in response. A cute blush rises on his cheeks and his voice grows sweeter when he starts singing the chorus to Oh Caroline when he’s instructed through his in-ears.

Your note makes him giggle as he flushes from head to toe, he can feel his cheeks warm and that feeling you give him envelops him entirely. A bubble of happiness bursts inside him and it coats every inch of him, all because you said…

Obsessed with you x

He sings with a bit more intent after that. The fact that it’s Manchester they’re playing in and that he wants to impress you even more, makes for his voice to come out beautifully sultry and you’re left in awe hearing him come to life on stage.

Like you expected, Amelia was shocked to the core when you facetime her with the little bit of signal you get as Charli is about to walk on stage, and you all but scream the lyrics out along with the pop queen and the rest of the crowd.

After that the gig just kept getting better though. Your boyfriend got a Greggs sausage roll thrown at him and he was giggling as he picked it up and took a bite and then spat it out. It certainly gave everyone a laugh, the band included, and they continued their set.

When the gig finishes and you head back to the greenroom, Matty comes all sweaty to you and traps you in a hug that then turns to him wrapping an arm around your waist and using his other hand to cup your jaw and pull you in for a dizzying kiss.

“Obsessed with you too.” Matty says once he pulls back, his forehead pressed against yours and nudging your nose with his in a cute eskimo kiss.

He feels as you scrunch up your nose and you lean in for another quick kiss, humming into it as a sign of approval. You don’t think you’ll ever grow tired of hearing him say those words to you, it always manages to make you putty in his hands.

Drinking with everyone and enjoying the wave of energy after the show is so fulfilling every time. An excuse to celebrate the band’s talent and their continuous delivery on a great show. So it’s easy to let time fly by as you do: cracking jokes, laughing at the guys’ occurrences, sharing their funny views of the crowd, talking about how mental it had gotten when Charli came out.

Soon enough it’s time to leave the venue but you’re surprised when you get to the bus and your boyfriend tells you to get your stuff because you’re staying somewhere else tonight.

You were expecting a hotel room to be the destination but when you sit in the back of the Uber Matty has ordered, he tells you with a massive grin that the plan for tonight is, “We’re staying at Denise’s.”

Matty doesn’t miss the way your face lights up at the news and he feels your heating cheeks when you hide your face in the crook of his neck with a soft squeal of excitement only he hears.

It takes about half an hour to get to Denise’s house so when you walk through the front door, you find her half asleep waiting for you to get there. She greets you sweetly, this time remembering your name instead of calling you ‘chicken nugget date girl’, and only after a few minutes of small talk she excuses herself to go to bed.

Lincoln isn’t far behind her, making everyone a brew before he goes upstairs to join his wife who’s probably already asleep despite him making her a cup of tea too. Louis chats with the both of you a little more before he calls it a night too.

Your boyfriend doesn’t waste more time after his family leaves to drag you upstairs, promising he’d show you around tomorrow. He was also knackered and he had wanted to have you all to himself for ages now, so it’s very quick that you find yourself walking into his childhood bedroom and smiling at the glimpse into a younger Matty’s mind.

You look at the pictures he has on the walls, of the four boys among other friends who he went to school with or met at various parties. You spotted Flo in a few of them too and it’s so adorable to you that you get a glimpse into the people they used to be.

You were smiling and asking questions about them all, even telling Matty that a photobooth picture of him and Flo from when they clearly first got together was cute. You like that he hasn’t shut off that part of his life and the picture is still up, because after all his experiences have made him into the man who he is today.

Matty smiles at the memory of it but he just takes the photobooth picture that the two of you took today and puts it up in a free spot on his wall. That warms your heart deeply, you can’t stop grinning as the both of you then get settled.

The singer jumps on his bed, flopping down on it and you giggle watching his hair flying everywhere and eventually coming to rest almost over his eyes. Matty just lets out a long sigh, clearly loving the feeling of lying on a proper bed again and you must admit you can’t wait to join him.

Matty makes no effort to get himself undressed, other than kicking off his shoes and socks and pulling his tie even looser. Instead he watches you, not even bothering to hide how much he’s grinning as he watches you make yourself at home in his room.

His grin only gets bigger when he watches you get undressed and he mutters under his breath how fucking good you look which just makes you flush a little but you choose to mostly ignore him and instead ask for one of his tops. He points over to a drawer where he knows there will be some and he smiles watching as you pull out his Revelation Records original bold top and slip it on.

You finish changing and come to sit down on his bed, grabbing your skincare stuff and start blindly applying it to yourself. That is until Matty exaggeratedly coughs a few times clearly expectantly as he wants you to do his too like you’ve been doing every night you’ve been away.

He’s all smiles as you rub the various creams into his face, even kissing the palm of your hand and then over the tattoo on your wrist followed by a small thank you when you finish. After that though he puckers his lips at you, and you giggle as you scooch down the bed and get comfy enough to kiss him how he wants.

Your heart feels very full, being in your boyfriends childhood bedroom, kissing him goodnight after he’s put on an excellent hometown show, with only the warm light of his bedside lamp letting you see just how big his smile gets. It’s really difficult for your heart not to stretch to a certain place too early, but you love everything about this new relationship despite only being in it for such a short amount of time.

But with him kissing you so sweetly, how he always does, and him pulling you into him so you’ve got practically no space between you, it’s not a shock he always makes your heart stutter. You love getting lost kissing him, it’s certainly a favourite pastime of yours.

And you love the feeling of your fingers tangled in his hair, how he clutches you tighter when you do to his curls and the groans he lets out when you pull on them.

You do just that and just like you were expecting, his mouth hangs open for a second when he lets out a groan. You can’t help the giggle that escapes you, giddy from the affection and the realisation of how you’re growing to anticipate his actions.

The sound of your bubbly laugh lights up a spark inside him. The walls of the dam that contains all that he feels for you burst and it all comes pouring hot and sticky, melting his insides and flipping a switch that makes him eager to translate the mess of his emotions into something you can understand.

He presses your lips a bit harder then, hips bucking forward and pressing in between your parted legs which has you gasping. Your tongues meet and taste each other when he catches his chance to do so, fingers digging into your skin as his hold grows with intention.

Matty doesn’t want to let you go. He doesn’t think he ever will.

But he won’t get ahead of himself. He wants to make you feel good, like you do to him with just your presence, with the simple sweetness of your laughter, the warmth of your touch, your silly jokes at his expense. He could go on and on, every day adding a new thing to the list.

In your head, a very different train of thought is going on. You’re entirely too aware of where you are and who is in the same space as you, so feeling him getting increasingly eager about getting off with you, you have to be the one to cut things before they move past a point of no return.

“Matty.” You smile, knowing where this road leads and it’s not somewhere the both of you can go in his childhood bedroom.

“Mmmh.” He hums against your lips, keeping them against yours not wanting to stop kissing you at all.

You repeat yourself, “Matty,” this time hoping he takes the hint.

He reluctantly pulls away, quickly asking, “What?” as he pecks your lips a few more times.

You’re grinning as you tell him with knowing eyes, “Calm down.”

But that makes your boyfriend frown a little, “What’s wrong?”

“We’re in your Mum's house.” You remind him, almost finding it funny he forgot, “She'll hear us. Your whole family will hear us.”

“No they won’t.” Matty shakes his head, knowing he’s not been caught out before so he doesn’t expect he will now. “Relax, I wanna make you feel good baby.”

“Matty.” You try to reason with him, still not entirely sold on the idea.

The sheer embarrassment of Denise knowing you’ve shagged her son in her house a mere 20 days after first getting with him is something you don’t think you could ever live down. You’re aware she’s a legend and a lovely person so she would probably never comment on it even if she did hear you, but you don't know if you could handle the embarrassment of being looked at with knowing eyes.

“Come on, I know you can bite those pretty lips to stop yourself being loud.” Matty grins, dragging his thumb over your already puffy bottom lip. “Can you do that for me baby?”

Instinctively you nod, always wanting to be good for him, but then you realise what you’ve just agreed to, “But-”

Matty’s already chuckling at you giving in and then catching yourself. As soon as he sees that nod of yours he moves his hand from your hip to between your legs and feels that you’ve soaked through your underwear which makes his jaw lock and your ‘but’ catch in your throat and whine.

Your boyfriend starts drawing circles over your clit through your underwear and if he didn’t have the confirmation of what you want already, the buck of your hips into his hand certainly gave it to him. And Matty can’t fucking wait to have you unravel underneath him again, he’s dying to at this point.

Your boyfriend kisses you sweetly again as if he’s not already doing anything sinful, “You gonna let me make you feel good?”

You nod a little in his hold, “Yeah.” pleasure already creeping its way up your spine.

“Good girl.” He smirks before kissing you deeply once more, before pulling away and telling you to, “Relax.”

But there's only so much relaxing you can do when a man is kissing his way down your body, heading to where you want him desperately.

Your boyfriend teases you beyond belief, that sinful tongue of his licking up your already soaked underwear just to make you choke on your breath and bite your bottom lip harder before he decides he wants to play with you a little more. After pulling your underwear off, you expect him to go straight to where you’re already throbbing for him, but no.

Matty decides that now is the time to appreciate a woman’s thighs. Slowly he kisses, licks, and bites his way down your skin, building your anticipation again and again until your hips gain a mind of their own and start bucking towards him, it makes Matty chuckle at the same time you plead for him to stop teasing you.

Only after you beg him once more does he give you what you want. Matty laps at your clit like a man starved, knowing exactly how to tease you now and he smirks to himself when your thighs tremble beside his head before dipping his tongue down to drink you in again.

He notices the way you’re holding your moans to yourself, huffing as he flicks your swollen clit with a skilled tongue, your teeth digging harshly on your bottom lip to quiet your whines when he sucks on your clit.

A pop slices the struggling silence in the room when he pulls back, and you find how at the pressure of keeping quiet, his praise heightens your need by a tenfold. “So good for me baby.” His words fall sweetly from his lips, lashes fluttering as he looks up to you and you nod in agreement, hips writhing as an attempt to get him back to what he was doing.

“Think you can hold those pretty sounds as you cum on my tongue.” Your boyfriend says next, dropping a string of kisses on your inner thigh, taking the opportunity to dig his teeth on your skin as if pushing you to the edge and see how much you can take until you break your silence.

You nod frantically, your eyes closed, teeth biting down hard on your bottom lip only letting the tiniest hum of confirmation spill. And you’re sure Matty smirks again before he moves back to your core, only giving you a few seconds of teasing when his hot breath hits your core and you squirm at the feeling.

His wet and bold tongue comes to meet your dripping centre and it’s a blinding feeling of relief and tightening pleasure that just promises to drive you insane. You’re almost holding your breath so that you don’t make a noise but the faster he becomes in his movements on your clit, the more you fail. Your breath grows heavy and it starts leaving you in gasps, hands clawing at the sheets of the bed so tightly so you don’t let your whines slip past your lips.

Senses go into overdrive, all you can see is white behind your eyelids but your ears are catching so well the wet sounds of his mouth on your slick cunt. Your hips become erratic when the coil in the pit of your stomach tightens to an eye-watering degree.

All he can think of as he watches you writhe beneath him is the word mine. He watches his stunning girlfriend losing her mind at the way his tongue moves. He can't help but stare at the way his girlfriend’s chest rapidly rises and falls as he can see the way her hard nipples stand against the fabric of his top before you use your free hand to tease yourself. You’re all his and Matty forces himself to commit the moment to memory, banking it up for another inevitable lonely tour night when you won't be able to join him.

A breathy and desperate, “Matty, f-fuck,” reaches his ears and, along with your shaking legs and your white knuckle grip on the sheets, it lets him know you’re about to let go. So he hums, encouraging you to give it all to him. And the vibration of it is just what you needed for that tension to snap.

Matty can’t tear his eyes away as you cum on his tongue, your flushed chest heaving as your breaths become messy and your back arches. The taste of you mixed with the sight of you makes him grind his hips harder into his bed, needing that slight bit of stimulation himself.

You come down with a few gasps at the feeling of his tongue still teasing you, sore fingers letting go of the bedding to tug on his curls and pull him away. He looks up, a devilish grin plastered on his face showing he’s proud of what he’s achieved before he dips back down, cleaning up the mess he’s made.

The tight grasp you have on his hair doesn’t deter him, if only it encourages him and you’re left focusing on not making noise instead. You’re biting your tongue so hard just so you don’t make a loud noise but you’re struggling a lot so you just beg, “Matty, please,” as you tug on his locks once more and thankfully he listens.

You pull on his curls until he moves with you and he crawls back up your body. It’s a messy kiss you pull him into, tasting yourself on his tongue has you whining and wanting more of him.

Matty rocks himself into you a few times and the friction of it on your overstimulated clit has you gasping. He’s hard, probably enough for it to begin to be painful, so you break your kiss to ask him, “Do you want me to give you head?”

He kisses you again, his hips grinding against you again, and when you groan he kisses your neck he whispers, “I want to be inside you.”

God, you really want that too, but you know you can’t. “No.” You shake your head.

Matty chuckles, pulling up to ask with a grin of disbelief, as if he can’t feel how wet you’ve already got again through his pants. He teases, “You don’t want to shag me baby?”

He kisses down your neck, bruising his way down your skin drawing short moans out of you as you pull on his hair, wanting him to continue. But then you remember where you are, “Matty, everyone’s gonna hear.”

You only just kept quiet as he was giving you head. You’re going to be absolutely done for if he fucks you too.

“Not if you trust me.” Matty locks eyes with you as he asks, “Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” You nod, not trusting anyone more than him at this point.

He grins, pulling on your top a little, “Take this off for me then baby.”

You do as you're told and strip off your top as Matty sheds himself of his clothes. He dumps his tie and his shirt where he was previously lay beside you before getting up to pull his pants and underwear down.

Pressing your thighs together when you see just how hard you’ve made your boyfriend is little relief. Matty’s busy gawking at your body though, aching even more than he was without his restrictive clothing. He pumps himself twice, his breath catching as he does but he can’t stop when he looks at you lying on his bed like that.

Your boyfriend goes to move back to the bed but you shake your head, telling him, “Condom.”

“Thought we scrapped those?” He asks with a curious smile.

You tell him sternly, “I’m not having us make a mess and look at your Mum's face as we put the sheets in the wash.”

It almost makes Matty chuckle, instead he just smiles, “Okay baby.” before routing in his bag to find one.

Matty puts it on with ease before he finds his home perched back between your legs. And considering you ‘didn’t want him to fuck you’, he almost finds it comical how desperate you’re looking beneath him right now.

Your boyfriend kisses you deeply again, you can still taste yourself on his tongue and that along with the way he holds your jaw has you moaning against those sinful lips of his.

The kiss only gets messier as it goes, your hands desperately clutching onto him as he presses himself on you. The heaviness of his cock presses and rubs on your clit as his hips move, in a desperate attempt to chase your second orgasm, you move your hips in tune and it just feels too good for your mind to remember you’re supposed to be quiet.

He chuckles against your lips before he pulls away completely, his hips pulling away as well make you whine at the loss of the delicious friction. But you peel your eyes open to see what he’s doing, thinking that he’s doing this to edge you.

You watch as Matty reaches to the side and you see him grab his tie. He wraps it over the knot that's already in it a few times which makes you ask, “What are you doing?”

“Keeping you quiet.” Your boyfriend smirks, “Open.”

Your stomach drops, realising what that means, and you do as you're told. Matty sees the way your eyes get that little bit darker as he puts his tie in your mouth.

When he comes back close to you, pressing himself against you again, he watches your teeth digging into the fabric in your mouth, a moan being muffled by the tie so he smirks seeing that it works.

“Good girl.” Matty praises you, leaning in to have his face hover above yours and watch every little detail on your face as he finally goes to fill you up.

His right hand goes down to guide himself to your centre, teasing your clit by rubbing it with the tip of his cock which elicits a mewl that’s drowned by the fabric on your mouth. He’s enjoying it far too much, the visual of you gagged underneath him and almost desperate to have him inside you makes Matty impossibly hard.

Slowly he stretches you out, biting on his bottom lip as he goes further and when he feels your nails scratching his back as he bottoms out, Matty grabs your arms and pins your wrists over your head. He crosses them so he can keep them in place with his left hand but before he starts moving, he asks for confirmation that you’re not uncomfortable with what he’s just done, “This okay baby?”

Your hasty nodding is entirely amusing to him, he loves seeing you surrendered to him like this. He pulls his hips back the furthest he can without completely exiting you and in a strong swift movement, he bottoms out again.

Slow and hard, that’s the pace he sets and it has your eyes rolling back in pleasure. You had never been gagged before but you find yourself really enjoying it, the thrill of having to have your mouth stuffed with his tie not to get caught has you even more turned on. And adding your hands being pinned over your head as your boyfriend pounds into you, is enough to have you a mess of muffled moans and whines.

Just thinking of the situation has you clenching hard around him and he doesn’t let it go unnoticed, “Oh you like this?” Matty smirks, “Such a whore, aren’t you?”

He feels your thighs tighten around his hips, clearly enjoying being called a whore and it makes his smirk more prominent. His eyes are full of lust as he asks, “Just want me to ruin you, is that right?”

Nodding desperately, you need everything from him now. Your hips buck at him when he does that and you whine a little on the material keeping you quiet. Matty kisses your neck a few times then, and you can feel his smirk, clearly loving having you exactly at his mercy. And you can’t even pretend you’re not loving it either.

“Fuck baby.” Your boyfriend heavily breathes, his eyes darkening that little bit more feeling just how tight you are wrapped around him. “You look so good. Feel fucking amazing.”

He fucks into you mercilessly, quickly finding the angle that has you almost thrashing beneath him and he knows he’s found your g spot. You can’t even meet his thrusts anymore, the knot of pleasure in your lower stomach is almost too much and the blinding heat that stirs inside you has you biting hard on his tie.

Your eyes screw shut and head throws back further into the pillow as he continues whispering vulgar things about how he loves having you like this into your ear and teasing you about just how much you’re enjoying it.

“Come on baby, I can feel you’re close. Cum for me.” Matty says as he kisses just under your ear, biting your earlobe and dragging between his teeth before sucking on the part of your neck that he knows makes you weak. “Please baby, be a good girl and let go for me.”

And it doesn’t take much more than the promise of praise and his hips meeting yours over and over to have you finishing. It hits you and it’s like a blinding white heat runs up your body and takes over your senses.

Matty watches you orgasm beneath him, entirely awestruck at the way you lose yourself. It’s lucky he gagged you because you moan loudly as your high takes over and he can only manage a few more thrusts with how tightly you’re clenching around him.

It’s only seconds before he cums too, filling the condom and moaning down your ear which adds to your own orgasm tenfold. He fucks into you a few more times to drag out the pleasure running through you both before he slows and settles himself, freeing your wrists and pulling his tie from your mouth as he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

Your arms fall down over his shoulders, entirely weak just like your body feels but you let your fingers run back into his hair when he lifts himself back up looking at you like he’s drunk. You giggle a little before you kiss him and it’s the sweetest sensation after being fucked by him.

Matty grins when he pulls away, and you giggle at each other before Matty leans down and gives you a little eskimo kiss, before again admitting, “I’m obsessed with you.”

Your heart is so full, you don't even hesitate to say back, “Obsessed with you too baby.”

Matty blushes at that which makes you giggle again and you pull on his hair so he comes back for one last kiss. After that you both decide a shower is in order and as Matty disposes of the condom and goes and grabs the both of you a towel, he embarrasses you.

“We’ll have to sneak out tomorrow morning.” He tells you with a small grin on his face.

You ask curiously, “Why?”

“Because that tie did nothing, you were so loud.” Matty tells you, his smile full now.

Your jaw drops at that, thinking back over it and you frown, “No I wasn’t.”

He starts chuckling, disagreeing with you in jest, “So loud baby.”

He just wants to make you sweat a little. You were fine and he knows for certain no one will have heard anything, he just loves getting you flustered.

“I wasn’t, you cheeky sod.” You whine trying your best not to smile and fake annoyance. You pick his tie up and throw it at him as you say, “You’re not all that Healy.”

He laughs, batting the tie away with ease but he tilts his head and narrows his eyes a little, “You say that, but I just gave you two orgasms.”

“And?” You shake your head, letting him know he isn’t god's gift, “So does my vibrator.”

Matty can’t help but think touche, but he opts to tease you instead, “And that's a show I’d definitely like to watch one day.”

Instantly, your face flames and you start glitching. You stumble trying to come up with some backchat but no coherent words form and the moment for you to be slick passes, so you just end up waving for him to leave, “Go and get me a towel, you twat.”

Matty cackles as he leaves the room doing as he's told. Before the both of you know it, you’re in the shower together and even though it should be steamy and hot, it’s probably one of the cutest things either of you have done together.

You’re both giggling and then catching yourselves, mostly you shushing the both of you, as you don’t want to be found out. But despite the both of you not making it interesting in a sinful way, you end up washing the other's hair.

It started with you shampooing his hair, and when it foamed up and his hair went stiff you couldn’t help but giggle when you morphed it into a mohawk. You joke about him looking good until he threatens to cut his curls to bring his mohawk back and you decline his offer with a look that screamed that you would kill him if he did. You tell him not to touch those curls of his.

And when you carry on giggling as you mould his hair into different shapes before you let him rinse it out, Matty can’t help but get a little in his head about everything as he admires you and giggles along.

If society didn’t deem that the two of you were far too early on in your relationship, Matty would get on one knee here and now and properly propose to you because he just genuinely can’t think of anyone better for him. You’re perfect, and the fact you get on like you’ve forever been the best of friends but also have an amazing relationship is the entire package for him.

It might be far too soon, but when you know you know. And Matty has never felt this way so intensely about someone for such a long time, he’d forgotten how it felt to crumble down inside at the sight of someone he felt so much for just existing. The world feels better and brighter when you’re in his presence and you make his heart ache in a way he now knows he’d missed.

After a shower filled with cute kisses, longing touches, and lots of giggles, the both of you get out and head back to his room to dry off. Even when you put his top back on and both get cosy in bed together and you’re just chatting about where he’s going to show you tomorrow, he just holds you close, thanking his lucky stars you came into his life.

Falling asleep to the sound of the other’s voice promises smiles that stay on your faces for a bit until your slumber switches them into pouts, your arms wrapped around each other and fingers clutching tight as if there was a possibility of one of you evaporating if you dared let your hold run loose, legs tangled together and heavy breaths hitting each other’s skin.

Your heart grows in size when you’re in Matty’s arms and you know just how fast and hard you’re falling for him when your brain deems it not enough to have him present daily in front of you, by your side, for he materialises in your dreams and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Even in your sleep-driven imaginative scenes he manages to make you a mess of grins that reach your eyes, rumble of butterflies filling your stomach, tingling going to every inch of your body.

And waking up, finding him there still, with his curls a mess over the pillow and those lips you love to kiss up in a pout as he continues to breathe slowly in his sleep, makes you almost feel like you’ve somehow managed to hit the jackpot you’ve silently been praying for your whole life.

To find the one.

And you think you’ve found him. You really hope you have.

~*~*~*~

Being shown around the infamous Wilmslow by your boyfriend was one of the highlights of the whole tour for you. You had such a good time, you already can’t wait to go back for a proper stay there.

The both of you slept in a little that morning, coming downstairs to greet everyone else at 11:30 which after your late night it didn’t seem to surprise anyone. Thankfully it seems no one caught on to what happened in Matty’s childhood bedroom because nothing was said and there was no knowing glances or anything.

You all had a cooked breakfast that Denise and Lincoln made which acted as a lovely brunch, satisfying your hunger for most of your day out. After you all finished your meal and chatting, Matty decided he was showing you around for the day which you were more than happy with.

Denise throwing her suggestions in for where to take you really made you giggle, Matty sighing at a few of them as he was already going to take you there but she apparently ruined the surprise. But you loved that she told him to take you to where he used to work because that did give you a giggle.

Matty gave you the bigger tour first, opting to take the car to show you his and the boys' old high school and he told you so many stories about the shit they all got up to back in the day. You would pay so much money to be a fly on the wall back then and experience it like a film playing out to you.

He showed you his old house that he lived in before he was a teenager, and on the drive he pointed out the other boys' childhood homes, telling you Adam’s house felt like a second home to him and that his Mum, Sue, always felt like his second Mum.

Your journey ends with him taking you to Carrs park where the both of you have a nice long walk together, sharing stories and walking hand in hand as you find out more about each other. Matty tells you of the summers that he and the boys used to come down to the park all the time and on hot days they would mess about in the river.

He tells you about when Flo would come over for summers to stay with Adam in Manchester instead of staying in Sheffield, and about how she apparently always preferred her Aunt and Uncle’s home over her own. That he taught her how to skateboard at the skate park that was also in the park which he showed you and you made him promise that in the summer he would bring you back and show you his skills.

You both walk around the park for just over an hour before you head back to the car, and Matty continues with his tour. This time he parks up just off Wilmslow highstreet and you walk down with him.

He shows you The Rex cinema which if you both had more time here he would have taken you to see a film but he promises to bring you back for a date night. To make up for it, he takes you a few doors further down and buys you a few cocktails in Revs, your favourite being the Mean Girl one that comes with a post-it note pegged onto the glass that says ‘So Fetch’.

Matty ends up having a few drinks too and it’s only after you’ve both had two cocktails and 3 flavoured shots each that he realises you both drove here. Thankfully that gets quickly resolved by him phoning his brother and he promises Louis that if he comes to drive you both back, he will buy him a bottle of vodka and pay for his taxi from home to the car later.

Whilst in Revs, you spot a photobooth and after how cute the last ones were, you can’t resist doing another one. These pictures turn out to be extremely coupley, but you blame that on being tipsy and loving your boyfriend's lips on your own. The print was black and white and the camera captured your kisses, giggles, and funny faces and you download the digital version instantly so you can put the cutest one as your lock screen.

You go on your merry way after another few drinks, Matty walking you further up the highstreet to the big Sainsburys so he can get his brother's alcohol and you can’t help but giggle at the mere sight of it. Even more so now because you’re tipsy.

Matty already knows why you’re laughing, but when you ask him, “Is this the Sainsburys?” and he confirms it is the Sainsburys, you get so excited. As if him mentioning the supermarket in a song makes it a landmark you have to see.

You make him giggle though when you run off in front of him in the shop and only when he catches you up and you scorn him does he understand what you were doing. It’s when you tell him, “No, pretend you don't know me and come flirt with me.” that he can’t stop giggling.

The fact that you’ve gone hours without food meant the alcohol has gotten to you and your tipsy state is hilarious to him. The fact you want to be a girl he flirts with in a Sainsburys is all the more wholesome to him though, at least this time he knows he will have an effect on you because it’s so easy to make you putty in his hands.

He does the little roleplay you desired and he loves the way you’re grinning at him, even though the pick up line he used was utter shit, he can tell you’re all flustered. And you only get worse when he breaks the charade and whispers other explicit things in your ear of what he would like to do to and with you and you have to push him away from you, the proximity too much to bear when he gets you too embarrassed and worked up.

You can just about look at him again when you leave the supermarket and he grabs you hand as he continues to show you the last few things on his tour of his home. He walks you back down the highstreet, this time on the other side of the road to let you have a nosy at the shops, before walking straight over the road.

He takes you to his Caffe Nero where he used to work and the both of you get a coffee, in hopes to make the both of you less tipsy, before he walks you down to the Chinese he used to work at as a delivery driver. After a quick conversation, you and Matty decide you want something from there for your dinner, so he quickly phones his family to see if they want anything too.

Turns out they do, and after placing a big order with them, Louis comes and meets you to drive the both of you back to their home and you all have a big family meal. The vodka that was bought is cracked open almost immediately and the three of you end up having drinks together while Denise and Lincoln make themselves a mocktail pitcher to share as you all chat about everything and nothing.

Never have you felt so at ease in the presence of your partner's family, especially the first real time you’ve spent with any of them. Maybe it’s because they're northern, or maybe it is just because they are fantastic people but you’ve never felt so welcome in your life and you’re so thankful for them.

You even get told funny stories about when Matty was little, and your favourite anecdote about him is that when he was really little he had a lisp. You start teasing him and saying odd words mocking a lisp and your boyfriend pretends to be unamused, but it gets even funnier when you and Louis start doing it together. Denise and Lincoln cackled as Matty was getting more and more annoyed, but thankfully a kiss to the cheek appeased him when you got up to get you both another drink.

The family's kindness really makes you not want to leave, and you really will reluctantly do so tomorrow morning. Even more so when Denise hugs you so tightly before she heads up to bed and she thanks you for coming to stay and for such a lovely evening, and she makes you almost tear up when she tells you how much of a good fit she thinks you are for her son and how welcome you are to their family.

She calls you the daughter she never had and it makes you get a little lump in your throat and you just squeeze her tighter before thanking her again for being so hospitable to you. You’ve had such a good time, you drag the night out, trying to stop yourself from getting tired even when you and Matty head back upstairs to bed.

Matty knows what you’re doing and he finds it adorable but he reminds you that you’re too much of a Grandma to try and stay up late for two nights on the trot. As soon as he gets you changed into his top and your head hits his pillows, your eyes close and Matty laughs at the effort it seems to be taking you to reopen them.

So you don’t have to, Matty just sheds off his clothes down to his underwear and he gets in bed beside you after flicking the lamp off, but he practically lays on top of you wanting you to cuddle him. Even when you're falling asleep you don’t fail to root your fingers into his curls and you hum in satisfaction as you play with his hair for a few minutes, but as soon as you stop scratching his scalp, he knows you’re asleep.

But he doesn’t follow you, instead he stays up for a little while longer and he moves back just a little so his eyes can go over every inch of your face. He wills himself to learn every detail of your face by heart, almost counting the freckles scattered on your skin as if that was a piece of information he had to live by, as if he had to look for constellations in the sky that resembled them as closely as possible just so he could feel you near when he eventually goes away.

Matty doesn’t realise he’s brought his hand up to your face until you squirm under the touch of his fingers grazing your cheekbones softly. He stills at your sudden movement but his smile grows on his face when you end up humming, like you're encouraging him to continue as you fall deeper into your slumber.

Your growing warmth beneath him and the sound of your hums lull him to sleep, blissfully pressing his head on the pillow after he’s dropped a soft kiss on the tip of your nose and trying his hardest to continue looking at your gorgeous sleepy face for as long as his tired eyes allow him.

Even when his eyes manage to close and it’s too hard to peel them open again, he can see you burned into his eyelids and on the forefront of his mind is every moment he’s gotten to share with you today and these past few days of tour.

Selfishly, he wishes for them to never end. If there’s one thing he would do anything to have is you beside him all the time.

Please, he says in his head and he hopes whoever can grant him that wish is listening.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next tour stop is Nottingham and driving down there after being in the lads’ hometown is enlightening. It seems like being in their hometown, even if it’s just for a day, fills them up with a surge of energy that had been wearing down throughout the past few months they’ve spent on the road.

So of course, the time it takes you to get there is spent between them all going about the lounge taking the piss at each other and smoking, fighting over the most mundane opinions and even over a chocolate bar they found hidden away in the shelves.

The argument of who deserves to have the chocolate has been going on for over 10 minutes, everyone proposing their reasoning and it is growing more and more ridiculous by the minute. They keep making fun of each other's excuses and loudly counter proposing something that backs themselves up.

“It’s just chocolate, break it into pieces for everyone to have some.” Adam sighs in response to the bickering that keeps growing in volume which mixed with the few hours of sleep he’s had, is threatening to cause him a headache.

“No, that’s not fun.” Ross scowls at him like he’s a buzzkill for being the voice of reason in this debate. Instead, a cruel and fun way to get people to fight over the last chocolate comes to his mind and he smirks as his gaze sweeps everyone in the room. “Who has the saddest story?”

George’s huff in annoyance is loud and it makes you think that this is definitely not the first time a play like this has come about to settle an argument. Still, you frown and ask, “What?” confused at the random prompt.

But your boyfriend answers before Ross can, “It's a game we play, we give a different condition for a story each time to see who wins what we’re short of. This time the saddest story wins the chocolate.”

Your hesitant nod seems to be the only confirmation Ross needed, as if you were the one calling the shots this time to he places the chocolate back inside the cupboard and sits back in the booth to close call out who’s staring with their anecdote.

The first to go is George who talks about how his childhood dog died and though you find it tragic, the guys just roll their eyes and ask for the next one because they’d heard it way too many times before.

The rest of the band follows along, Adam refusing to participate because he finds it pointless and Matty skipping just because he’s fine being a spectator. Polly’s anecdote makes you pout as you listen to her and you end up giving her a little hand squeeze when she’s done. And then it’s your turn.

“Y/N?” Ross raises his eyebrows at you, a challenging look as if he’s entirely sure you don’t stand a chance to win this.

But you surprise him when you straighten in your seat, roll your shoulders and sigh heavily to prepare yourself mentally, knowing you’re so taking the chocolate for yourself.

“I’m playing to win this, okay?” Is your hint of a warning of what’s to come but no one really takes it that seriously.

“Oh go on then, doubt you can beat Polly’s.” Matty taunts this time, a giggle almost weaving through his words.

You shrug, not really giving into the teasing of his words and you start your story, “Okay so this was about five years ago, I was at a party of sorts with my ex. For context I was with him for over three years, we were really happy and I loved this person right.” You almost laugh at the memory, just because of how pathetic it had made you feel for so long until you realised you were far better off.

Clearing your throat, you continue, “Then we go to this party but it's just like at his mates house and we're all there chatting outside around the fire pit and then the question gets asked, ‘where do you see yourself in twenty years’ so each of us go round answering. Everyone mentions kids, marriage, dream jobs, blah blah blah…”

You wave your hand to diminish the importance of what was said and they watch as the corners of your lips twitch in amusement, “So I go and I say everything I hope for, that I want to be happy, have my own house which I share with the person I love, as I'm holding hands with my ex.” Your eyes catch everyone looking attentively at you, waiting for you to continue, “Whatever, I carry on talking about having my own family and everyone is smiling and loving my answer but then my ex has his go.”

You take a deep breath before you go on with the worst part of your anecdote, “My ex said, ‘In twenty years I think I'm still going to be trying to find the girl of my dreams’.”

At that, you hear everyone gasping and when you let your eyes go up to see the group of people around you, you catch a few with their hands covering their mouths and a few just freely letting you see they’re jaw dropped.

What you don’t get to see is the way your boyfriend’s face has fallen completely, his heart sinking to the deepest pit of his stomach and he genuinely feels sick knowing someone had the audacity to say that. It feels like something clicks as to why you were so insecure when it came to you thinking he was ‘settling’ for you after hearing that.

But you’re not quite done yet, chuckling a bit at their reactions, you brush a strand of hair behind your ear and add, “And he didn't just leave it there. He went on to elaborate on what he was looking for. And just like all of you, all of his friends went deadly silent and were just looking at the two of us. I went entirely numb for a minute, but in that time I somehow managed to say, ‘hope you find her’ in the most monotone voice and got up and left.”

A few beats of silence pass, everyone too astounded to even find out what was correct to say in such a situation.

Until Ross breaks it with a simple, “That’s fucking brutal.” which makes you snort out in laughter.

“I know. Can I have that chocolate now?” You extend your hand out for him to give you the prize, you know no one will dare to disagree that your story was the saddest.

And he nods, “Absolutely, fucking hell.”

You watch as the bassist gets the chocolate from the cupboard and gives it to you, and after thanking him softly, you notice the way everyone is still silent, so you turn to them and call them out for it, “Okay, everyone lighten up, it’s been a while since then.”

Thankfully the mood lightens after you win their game, things move on when people get various phone calls and you start concentrating on your phones and what’s on the TV again. Your past doesn’t plague your mind in the slightest as you’ve already buried that away with a nice little bow of trauma securing it away, and you have no intention of letting it get you upset any longer than it did a few years back. It was most definitely his loss anyway and you’re doing miles better for yourself these days.

You move on quite quickly, forgetting about it minutes after everyone went back to normal and you were more sidetracked with baby Hann and the chats you were having with Carly. But Matty couldn’t get it out of his head.

He found that his heart still felt like it had been beaten to a pulp for you. It hurt him a lot hearing how someone who you let yourself be vulnerable with and who you opened your heart to, said something so awful and completely disregarded your relationship like it was nothing.

God knows if someone said that to him it would never not plague his thoughts or have a permanent sinking feeling in his chest. He can’t help but think just how strong you are to have got through something like that and to be as happy and bubbly as you are now.

Since meeting you and getting to know you properly, Matty has always found himself incredibly lucky to easily make you smile or laugh that he can’t imagine ever saying anything so horrible to you. It makes him want to cherish you even more, to protect you from anyone who could be so cruel and hold you closer and tighter than ever.

Which is what he ended up doing. He didn’t bring it up until you were alone that night in the back lounge of the bus just after the last few others had disappeared off to bed.

You’d not long since had a call with Amelia and your manager that started off as business related and as soon as your manager bid you goodbye, you had a good catch up with your best friend. You’ve probably not gone this long without seeing her for a while and you were both getting withdrawal symptoms so you definitely enjoyed your chat with her.

You were equally excited to get back to the fun conversations that always filled the bus, but you weren’t surprised that it was only George and Matty that were coherently talking when you went back to socialise. Turns out you’d been chatting to your best friend for the best part of 3 hours and it was nearing 11pm and with it being an off day everyone was lazy and heading to bed early which you don’t blame them for.

This tour and your boyfriend have really fucked with your sleeping pattern, a month ago you would be tired at this time but now you rarely get tired until 2am. But it meant more time being in Matty’s presence and cuddling up to him awake in his bunk where you talk about anything that comes to mind until you eventually drift off so you don’t mind in the slightest.

Even now after George has just headed off to bed, you just find yourself relaxing in your boyfriends hold that little bit more as you pay attention to the BBC Three show that’s playing silently on the TV. Or that is until your boyfriend gets your attention again.

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Matty whispers in your ear, a kiss being pressed on your cheek right after and his fingers clutching your waist tightly like you could be taken away from him if he wasn’t cautious.

You let your head rest on his shoulder so you can look up at him and in slight confusion, you ask him, “What?”

“With your ex. I’m sorry he did that. It was awful to hear and that’s not a par on what it must’ve felt like.” His fingers rub circles on your waist, under your shirt so his touch is warm and soothing on your skin.

Turning in his hold, your arms go around his shoulder and your fingers play with the short curls at the nape of his neck as you shake your head, “Oh no, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay at all.” His eyes are wide, there’s no way he’ll ever come to terms with the fact that you had to go through something like that.

You sigh a bit heavily, because you know he’s right but it’s been so long since then and it has led you to where you are now so you have no complaints. Your nails scratch softly at his scalp, “I know, but I’m glad with the way everything has worked out.”

Softly, like he’s scared it will set something off that you won’t like, Matty asks, “Was he the guy who you last went out with?”

You nod, “He was the last guy, yeah. I met a girl a year after and we were together about eight months but she kept getting jealous of the dates I was going on and the flirting yet she also wanted me to take her to the dates with me so she could meet the celebs and it all just ended in a big argument so I just decided I was done.” His face is screwed up in a frown that lets you know how he finds that, and you give him a side smile as if agreeing on how bad that was.

“Everyone after her has been one night things which were hit and miss but I’d convinced myself I was better off alone anyway.” It’s easy for you to be honest about this all with him, so you continue, “No one was gonna get it and I’d sort of come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t going to find anything again.” and it’s even easier to let him know how it all changed, “Until you.”

You feel his fingers digging into the flesh of your waist as he breathlessly asks, “Me?”

And a giggle escapes you when you reassure that’s exactly what you meant, “Yeah, you.”

“What changed?” One of his hands comes up to lift your chin up slightly, fingertips slowly dragging down your jaw and the softness of his touch makes you lean into it.

“Well for a start I was never going to turn down another date with you.” Your lips purse as you try not to smile embarrassedly at your admission, “But then you came round to mine and you were the sweetest. You hugged me when I got upset at your album, you came round and surprised me and bought me a Christmas present.”

Your heart swells in your chest as you remember, your eyes stay on his and you find yourself wanting to forever be under his gaze because it just has goosebumps erupting on your skin, heat rising up to your cheeks and a tingling hitting every corner of your being, “You make me nervous, and I’ve not felt nervous talking to someone in the longest time, I missed that.”

There’s a need to clear up your words when you realise it could come across wrongly, “But I wasn’t nervous because you’re the lead singer of my favourite band. I was nervous because of you.” His delicate smile reaches his eyes, those crinkles you’ve grown to love showing just how happy your words are making him and he continues his delicate tracing of your features as you add, “The things you do when you talk to me, when you smile at me or smirk at me. You make me the best kind of nervous.”

His thumb teasingly runs across your bottom lip, your breath hitches in your throat and you hold it there until his finger runs down to press on your chin softly, “I still make you nervous?”

“All the time.” It comes out in a whisper but it’s wholehearted because it’s the actual truth, “I love it when you’re not actively trying to make me flustered.” That’s a bit of a white lie, because you do love it when he teases you even though he makes it so hard for you not to be embarrassed by it in public.

Matty pouts slightly, “But seeing you flustered is how I know it’s all working.”

He makes himself sound so innocent like that, you roll your eyes in fake annoyance, “Yeah, yeah. You just love watching me squirm, I know.”

And then that smirk you love breaks on his face and it all comes together when he chats back, “Love watching you do more than squirm.”

It makes you so incredibly giddy, he can definitely feel the heat growing on your face at his words, “Yeah I sure know you do, you little shit.” You narrow your eyes, an attempt to appear menacing.

He snickers at your effort, offering you an eye roll and a sassy, “Oh but you love it.” as a response.

“I do.” You catch your bottom lip between your teeth as you agree. There’s no need to keep anything to yourself anymore, you think, and how liberating is it that you can just cup his face and pull him in for a sweet kiss to show him just how much you adore him.

Your tongue teases his bottom lip and he lets your tongues meet without a second of doubt, he hums when he tastes you and you hum back to let him know how much you enjoy this. It is so easy letting time pass when your lips are moving with each other, your fingers clutching each other tightly and oxygen be damned for your one priority is showing what you feel through your kiss.

You pull back panting when you can no longer kiss without feeling like you’re gonna pass out from lack of oxygen in your lungs and he takes the opportunity to bring back what started it all, “I’m sorry he made you feel like you weren’t enough.”

“Thank you for making me feel like I am.” Your head tilts as you say, doe eyes almost sparkling at him like a love sick puppy for him.

You swear it was impossible to feel stronger for him until he nudges your nose with his and your lips brush together as he says, “You’re more than enough, baby. I’m the luckiest to have you.”

All you can do is press your lips against his but before you can deepen the kiss, you’re pulling back enough to look at him deep in the eyes and let him know once again, “Obsessed with you.”

Matty experiences something new every minute he spends with you, he swears, because it’s so incredible the way his heart easily swells in his chest with everything you do and say. It’s so easy for him to reciprocate, almost painful to keep it in that he’s, “Obsessed with you too.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

The Nottingham show was nothing short of incredible. As per usual the boys gave their absolute best and delivered a gig that you know for a fact people wouldn’t forget (you know the feeling far too well of wanting to go back in time to experience their shows over and over again throughout the years) and Matty’s interactions with the audience made you laugh as per usual. Especially when he gave them four songs to choose from and even after Paris lost to Menswear, he decided to still play Paris after it.

Your note being, I certainly like you better when you take off your clothes ;) x that night assured that he went absolutely unhinged for you on stage during Too Shy. You found yourself sweating at his intent hip movements as his eyes swam through the crowd in search of you, winking your way when he found you and you had to hide behind your hands all flustered while the girls around you squealed, entirely unaware of your presence and thinking it was meant for them.

Leeds comes next and you have the best time too, especially when he opens your note and cackles loudly when he reads, Drive Like I Do, when? instead of a cute note like he had been expecting.

He surprises you when Robbers comes on and he sings the climax of the song in the style of the Drive Like I Do version of the song. You scream so loud at that, joining the crowd's cheers and when the next song starts, you’re left feeling all gooey inside at the fact that the littlest things you can mention will end up in him trying to appease your wishes.

Newcastle is entirely shocking to you. You were excited to be there, especially since Matty mentioned Tim would be attending and you’d finally be able to meet him, but you’re absolutely not ready for the surprise you got once you got to the venue.

It had been slightly hectic, since people were swarming the place so you had to sneak into the venue almost being shielded by George and Ross’ big frames as you hid in a massive hoodie and some glasses to try and keep your identity hidden.

You find yourself shaking in anticipation as you’re walking between George and Ross on your way to the greenroom, trying to have a pep talk in your mind so that you calm yourself down about the prospect of meeting your boyfriend’s Dad.

Of course the lads caught onto your shaking hands that you were wiping on top of your hoodie, Ross teased you for being nervous but George assured you it’d be alright. So you settle a bit, slowly coming to terms with it and preparing yourself to offer Tim a smile as soon as you step through the door of the greenroom.

But when you get there and see that Lewis fucking Capaldi is there, you can’t help but let out a squeal of excitement. The Scottish legend who in a few months you know you already have a date booked in with, makes you so excited. You run to hug him hello and he’s equally excited to see you there.

Tim makes you cackle when he says, “I’ll be offended if I don’t get hugged just as enthusiastically.” behind you and you let go of Lewis to greet the comedic legend. You’re glad your reaction to Lewis’ presence served as an ice breaker because then the conversation with Matty’s Dad flows easily and you find yourself laughing at the fact that you were so nervous about meeting him when he’s an absolute sweetheart.

Spending the day in Lewis’ company is as funny as you could’ve imagined and the filming of him taking the piss out of what Matty does on stage makes you cackle laughing. Thankfully with the other singer distracting your boyfriend, you could easily sneak your note into his pocket today, and you felt quite proud of that one.

That night you stay back behind the stage to watch the show (the crew gave you some in-ears so you could still hear everything the way that you would if you were in the main bit of the arena). Tonight your note was Obsessed with you and everything but Newcastle aren’t winning the cup baby xoxoxo and when the camera shows Matty snorting at it and shaking his head, pocketting it again before grabbing his acoustic guitar, it made you giggle and when Lewis asked you about it and you told him, he started laughing too.

This had all come about because like George had been roped into supporting Newcastle United by his best friend, you had been dragged in to support Manchester United because that’s Amelia’s football team. Yesterday was the first leg of Newcastle's semi-final in the Carabao Cup which you all watched and you were happy for Matty that they won 1-0, but tonight was Manchester United’s first semi-final match and you had a good feeling your team was going to win. Regardless though, you did think that you would end up playing your boyfriend’s team in the final, and you can’t let him get too comfortable so you kept teasing him yesterday saying regardless of if they win, Manchester United will beat Newcastle.

The show moved on quickly, and it wasn’t a surprise that you started tearing up when Tim goes on stage to sing All I Need To Hear and you’re glad you’re right next to Lewis because he makes you laugh when he makes a joke about how the band would be more successful if Tim replaced Matty.

When it’s time for Lewis to go on stage, you’re left alone until your boyfriend surprises you with his presence after he quickly got changed and the rest of the band tagged along so you all could watch Lewis together.

Of course you lot piss yourselves laughing when people go absolutely mad when the text Special guest: Harry Styles comes on the screen and then it only grows louder once the door opens, but to their disappointment it’s not the Watermelon singing man.

Lewis makes it funnier when he waves at everyone, laughter can be heard from the crowd and it grows louder when he walks up to the mic and says, “My name is Harry Styles and it’s good to be here. I know what you’re thinking; ‘He looks different. He sounds different’.” And with one last adjusting of his guitar strap, he adds, “But make no mistake I am Harry Styles.”

But your amusement dies in your throat in a split second when he starts strumming on his guitar and he starts a song you have been dying to hear for far too long.

If anyone told you a few months ago that you’d be hearing Antichrist be performed live at a The 1975 concert for the first time by Lewis Capaldi, you would’ve thought it to be the most far-fetched joke anyone could come up with. But here you were, already crying at Lewis singing the first line to a song you’ve waited so long to hear in concert.

Matty doesn’t realise how bad your state is until Lewis sings, “Is it the same for you?” and you shake with the sob that rips through you. The visuals on the big screens were making him laugh and he assumed your soft shaking was just a product of your laughter, the sound being drowned by the loudness of the crowd singing along. He’s entirely taken aback by your reaction and in instinct he wraps his arms around you from behind you.

He hears you tearfully but softly singing the next verse but you fully let your broken voice rumble with the crowd for the third verse.

The buildup to the bridge starts and they lads take a few seconds of silence to clock onto your state and giggle. They didn’t expect you to have such a reaction to Lewis singing the song, and Ross is a cheeky bitch so he points it out.

“This is exactly why we’re never doing this song.” If you’re crying this hard then the bassist wouldn’t want to imagine how badly the people in the crowd were looking.

You don’t even allow yourself to form a proper answer and instead you let the song dramatically reply to him. You point your finger at him and George who is right beside him and belt out the bridge almost entirely enraged at what he’s just had the cheek to say.

But that doesn’t appear menacing to them, George and Ross laugh and you can feel Matty’s chest shaking with laughter behind you. Even Adam was giggling away at your emotion and it was only making you sob harder as you sang. You don’t even have the mind to think about how embarrassing this might be when you look back because you’re completely overcome by emotion.

They’re not done taking the piss out of you when the song is over, and you’re left shaking your head at their jokes whilst you wipe the tears off your face, Matty’s lips pressing kisses to your neck and shoulder but you feel his breath hit your skin whenever he laughs at any of the guys’ quips.

Lewis announcing, “I was going to sing one of my songs next, but I thought it would just be better to play a Taylor Swift song.” has you gasping way too loud, interrupting another joke Ross was about to make at your expense but your reaction to the Scots’ introduction of the second song is enough to earn you a round of cackles.

George is louder this time and his giggles are so contagious you find yourself laughing with them, that is until Lewis starts singing the Taylor song you’ve loved so much since you were a teenager and the waterworks start again.

It is all such a mix of emotions, you can’t help the tears streaming down your face. It’s the song being played right after Antichrist, it’s the feeling of Matty’s arms wrapped tightly around you and how he sings it softly to you in your ear. You’re purposely keeping your volume to a decent point so you can hear your boyfriend singing it to you.

If he wasn’t holding you, you would’ve melted and died on the spot. Your legs feel wobbly from the crazy storm of butterflies fluttering inside your stomach and there’s a burning heat that runs through your veins that melts your insides.

“You alright baby?” Matty asks you softly when the song is over, brows furrowed as he rests his chin on your shoulder.

You nod softly, just letting your tears run down your cheeks until they stop but he’s on the task in a matter of seconds. He stands before you, hands cupping your jaw and thumbs swiping at the tears staining your skin.

Through his in-ears he hears they gotta go back on stage in a minute but before he rushes back with the lads, Matty showers your face with pecks. When he reaches your lips though, he can’t help himself and locks your lips in a sweet kiss, one that lasts longer than needed because George is yelling at him they need to go and so is the crew member talking in his in-ears again.

You pull back and push him softly so he can go, and just because you’re feeling better and in a jokey mood now, you give his arse a slap before he’s gone from your side. He looks back at you with a smirk, right as he gets to the door and winks at you. You’re left smiling like an idiot, waiting for the show to continue.

Lewis teases you throughout the rest of the show, at first for crying at what he did but then when Matty did something like wink into the camera or thrust at the audience. The Scot was a big tease and whilst you pretended to hate him for it, you had such a fun evening singing along to the boys with him.

Unfortunately, with there being a show the following day in Liverpool and Lewis heading back out on tour, you couldn’t go out and have a few drinks together that night. But you all bid him goodbye, you give him a hug and tell him that you and Amelia will be seeing him soon.

It felt bittersweet saying goodbye to Tim, but he told you that you had to come back up to Newcastle with Matty as soon as you were free to and he would happily show you around the city properly. Before you even know it, you’re back on the road.

You passed out pretty much as soon as you got on the bus and Matty found you in the bunk fast asleep about 5 minutes after you said you were heading to bed. Just before he climbed in to join you, he pressed a sweet kiss to your lips hoping not to wake you and he was grateful he didn’t disturb you when he cuddled himself into you and slowly fell asleep himself.

Waking up outside the arena in Liverpool was an interesting ordeal. There wasn’t a gated section where the buses could go here so when you and Matty woke up and were hoping to head out for a walk, it was a little difficult because there were fans outside.

So a little plan was devised to combat this, and it was orchestrated and quite literally carried out by George. The drummer suggested that you wrap up in a hoodie and have the hood up and that he would carry you out and into the venue, and people would automatically assume you were Charli and that you were asleep.

The queen of pop had gone back home to London after the Manchester show, along with Carly too but no one but those of you on the tour knew that. So George carrying a girl into the arena seemed like a perfect way to get you in unseen and keep your relationship underwraps.

There was an alternative, that Ross carry you inside in the same way, but as soon as you made a joke of that's a good way of socialising with him more, Matty chipped in quickly and cut that idea off. So it was Matty’s jealousy that decided that you would be carried the 10 metres into the venue by George.

And thankfully it went fine and there were a few fans who made a fuss but George just smiled and kept walking with you in his arms. Your legs were around his waist and your arms wrapped around his shoulders and you hid yourself away into his neck until the metal doors closed.

Once they did, you looked up at George and grinned, he laughed at your grin and smiled back. You couldn’t not tell him as you were in his arms though, “You smell really good.”

“Thanks babe.” The drummer winks, resulting in you immediately becoming flustered.

Matty heard and saw all this, so with a brief look of jealousy and distaste, he nudged his best friend, indicating to put you down. However, the drummer instead smirked, “Nah, she’s mine now mate.”

If that didn’t have you internally choking, the drummer moving his hands to your arse for the briefest few seconds to tease his best mate did. You’re winning at life well and truly, you’re certain you’ll die a happy woman.

After that, George let you return to your feet and you and Matty went about your day. It was quite early and both of you didn’t sleep well really despite falling asleep quickly. The bunk was definitely beginning to get uncomfortable now, so you’re certainly excited to be getting closer to being back in a proper bed.

Matty however, thought ahead and booked the two of you a day room at a nearby hotel which you both walked to after you had a sneaky walk around the docks, thankfully not being recognised by anyone. The room was stunning, and not even because it was fancy, it was just because after not sleeping in a proper bedroom since you were in Manchester it felt like a luxury.

A luxury which both you and Matty tarnished completely because you both did more than sleep in the bed and made most of the time you had alone with no need to worry about being quiet. You both napped after you wore each other out but then you both showered together which ended with both of you on your knees one after another.

After checking out and getting a taxi back to the venue, everything went smoothly. There was even a surprise waiting for you, which may be another best moment of the tour, because thanks to the fan who threw a sausage roll on stage back in Manchester, Greggs have sent the band a PR package.

It’s a glorious sight. 13 hot sausage rolls and a dozen different pasties for you all to feast on before the show. It was amazing and you’ve never seen food disappear so quickly in your life.

After that, you and Matty both greeted Denise and Lincoln who made the trip up to come and watch the show again. You were sticking to being in the pit again tonight and you went out just after Denise said goodbye to the boys.

When you got to the pit, you couldn’t help but laugh when you saw the crowd yelling and waving at Denise who is up at the top of the first tier of seats. She waves to her fans like the true queen she is and before you know it the show starts.

The show is as amazing as it always is and the crowd is as loud as ever. You’re screaming along with all of them, every line to every song at the top of your lungs but your yells of excitement are interrupted the moment the consumption interlude comes and, while everyone is screaming even louder at the sight, you’re speechless in embarrassment.

You’ve never felt such regret for sleeping with your boyfriend before, but when Matty did the consumption interlude that night and he took his shirt off, revealing to the 11 thousand people (Denise and Lincoln included, plus the band and the crew) that you’d scratched his back to shreds earlier. Your jaw dropped when you saw the red marks lining his shoulder blades.

You quite literally consider running away and never showing your face on this tour or to anyone on it afterwards but thankfully the show carries on and after a few songs you manage to forget about it. It’s a shame everyone else doesn’t forget though, because when you head backstage after the set has ended, you get endlessly teased for it.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the day after, the fans figured out that it wasn’t George carrying Charli into the venue in Liverpool. The bright side was that they didn’t know it was you but they found out it wasn't the queen of pop in the drummer’s arms because Charli attended an event at the same time as the gig back in London so the conspiracies went on and on. Twitter seemed to connect the girl in George’s arms as the one who had marked up Matty’s back and they seemed to just take the piss out of Matty for it because he wasn’t strong enough to carry you inside himself.

It made you and George laugh, but your boyfriend not so much. The next day he took every excuse he could to pick you up off the ground whether it was just to prove the point, or just to twirl you around to make you giggle. At one point he gave you a piggyback ride and he ran around the room filled with all the boys in it, even making Jordan take pictures of the two of you.

Jordan sent you both the pictures that night, and one of the pictures that came out where Matty is running but you and him towards Jordan is so funny. In the first, you and your boyfriend are giggling as he's zooming past the camera but you are both grinning line lunatics as you clutch him.

The second one though is your favourite because it was caught just as you lent around over Matty’s shoulder and his head was twisted towards you, and you were both laughing at each other as he held you up. You were fairly certain you kissed him afterwards too just before Matty raced back around the room.

Before any of you knew it, you were on the plane over to Ireland. The night you got there, you stayed in a hotel and with your free day before the next gig and Matty showed you around the sights. You had such a fun day being a tourist and your boyfriend showed you his favourite spots he always tried to come to when he was in Dublin. And to end the night off, you and the rest of the boys all ended up going to a pub where traditional Irish music was being played inside and it was so much fun.

The Dublin show was the second to last date of the tour and everyone had been incredibly excited about it. Of course, it had been a bit sad seeing this leg of the tour coming to an end but it had all gone so well that you felt more like celebrating the conclusion of such an amazing tour than sulking over it being over.

But it wasn’t the nostalgia of seeing the tour ending before your eyes that made the mood come down when you were all gathered in the greenroom at the venue, instead it was Jamie letting Matty know what a certain tabloid was planning on putting out about him on the next day’s paper.

You instantly caught the change in his behaviour and did your best to cheer him up a bit, which thankfully wasn’t that hard because he seemed to have gotten over it when it was time for you to go out into the crowd and him to get on stage.

That night, you kept your note sweet but funny, using his lyrics to try and steal at least a giggle out of him. When he read that it said, You got a pretty kinda dirty face x he chuckled to himself and pocketed it with a smile that reached his eyes. You were relieved seeing him smiling harder now after the note and you silently hoped it would stay that way until the gig ended.

But you celebrated too soon, because he went on to let the large crowd know about the situation right before singing Love It If We Made It and your heart got heavy seeing the clear distaste and upset on his face.

Matty didn’t let it hold him down though, because he went on to give a passionate rendition of the song and you got goosebumps as you watched him enraged and growling out the lyrics.

Unfortunately, after the show was done, the high came down quickly when you all walked back into the greenroom to the news of the article having been published online already and reading it was upsetting.

You watched as your boyfriend read it multiple times, getting more and more angry every time but he kept it to himself, only letting scoffs and shakes of his head show to everyone. The rest of the band read it and called bullshit on it, rolling their eyes at the way something had been twisted and taken way out of proportion.

It was when you got in the bunk together later that night, in the tour bus on your way to Belfast, that Matty properly let his emotions show.

He let angry tears fall from his eyes silently with you cradling his head on your chest, your right hand rubbing his back soothingly as your other hand was on his head and softly scratching his scalp.

It broke your heart hearing him getting this worked up and upset, your head a tangle of confused thoughts as to how people could be so quick to jump to the worst conclusions when taking a singular second of a moment out of context to fit their villainizing narrative.

“I’m sorry.” Matty apologised as he sniffled, picking up his head from your chest slightly so that he could wipe the tears off his cheeks.

But you shook your head, letting your hands come up to cup his face so you could take on the task of wiping his tears, “Don’t apologise, baby. It’s what I’m here for.”

You pulled him back down to rest over you and he didn’t have it in himself to deny the comfort that you were bringing him so he nuzzled his face on the crook of your neck and, right after he left a soft kiss on your skin, he quietly asked, “Am I a bad person?”

“No, you’re not.” You replied in a heartbeat, not even a hint of doubt crossing your mind, “People just love making others seem worse than them so that they can feel superior. It’s so fucked.” Your fingers tangled in his curls and pulled on them slightly, just so he could look at you as you continued, “Everyone knows the person you are, and you would never do that. You don’t stand for that. They’re always looking for something they can turn into a scandal and it’s so unfair that they do it at your expense.”

His teary eyes watch you intently for a few seconds, silence engulfing you entirely but your eye contact doesn’t break. That’s how you catch the tear that falls from the corner of his eye with your thumb quickly and you have to bite your bottom lip not to cry yourself.

Matty doesn’t say anything and you can’t blame him, it’s upsetting enough to see him go through this so you cannot imagine what it must feel like being called such a name for an action that got completely misinterpreted.

He kissed the palm of your hand softly, wet lips pressed on your soft skin adoringly with his eyes closed as if he’s indulging in it all.

“Let’s just go to sleep okay?” You suggest delicately, whisper breaking the silence and the heaviness of the moment, and you’re so glad that he nods and melts right into you.

After a long minute, you hear Matty sigh and you stay awake until you’re certain he’s asleep. Only when you register his steady breathing and the absence of his sniffling, do you will yourself to close your eyes and get some rest.

~*~*~*~ 30th January ~*~*~*~

Today, you woke up still feeling your chest heavy after everything that had happened last night. But it’s Amelia’s birthday and she's flying over to join you on the last day of tour, so you were excited to go pick her up from the airport, but that unfortunately meant having to leave an upset Matty for a bit just as the crew is starting to bring everything inside the venue.

Earlier that morning, whilst you had gone to the small bathroom in the bus, Matty had read the article once again and when he caved and went on Twitter to see what was being told, he felt his blood starting to boil in anger.

You can see it on his face even now that you’re back. You had managed to make it back to the venue, this time with Amelia beside you, just in time for soundcheck and despite the fact that Matty sounds amazing, it’s written all over his face just how much this is all bothering him still.

On the way back to the venue, you told Amelia what happened and the boy's reaction to it, so she was up to date. But despite the slight atmosphere, you weren’t going to let it affect your best friend's birthday.

The boys greet her warmly when she arrives and they all ask how she’s been. She gives you all the gossip that you’ve missed out on from the chicken shop offices along with other industry stuff that she’s heard. The boys find it quite amusing watching you both back together, it’s easy for them all to see you’ve both missed each other, it’s certainly like what any of them would be like with any long time apart.

Before long, it’s time to soundcheck and whilst you see Matty’s mood dip a little at that, you don’t comment on it despite it being written all over his face. The last thing you think would be helpful is drawing attention to it in front of everyone. So you just peck his lips quickly before you part ways and you head down to the pit with Amelia, fully intending to dance to a few songs with your best friend. And dance you do, to Too Shy, It’s Not Living, She’s American, and a couple more. However, the short practice takes a turn.

It surprises you when the singer turns to George and tells him they’re soundchecking Pressure right after they’ve finished soundchecking Oh Caroline. You feel your chest contract as you hear him angrily spout the lyrics, constantly taking sips of the water bottle that he keeps throwing to the ground beside his feet and rubbing his face like being in his own skin is annoying him.

The feeling in your chest gets even worse when after a few songs, he mumbles something into the mic and the lads start playing Me.

The second the song starts and you recognise it, you feel your heart sinking and you can’t even try and force a smile at Matty when he catches a glimpse at you. His eyes almost evade you as if it hurts him to have you seen him this way, but he keeps getting annoyed at every little thing from then on.

First, he keeps complaining about the volume of his mic compared to the rest of the instruments and after the third time he signals the sound guys to change it, he huffs and rolls his eyes as he gives up on everything. The next thing that happens is that he messes up the lyrics and makes them all start again, and that happens twice which has Ross grumbling under his breath at Matty.

Unsurprisingly, you and your best friend watch as the tension sweeps over the stage. The bassist muttering things clearly annoys Matty a bit more than it normally would and it seems like his thoughts start tangling together after that because he misses a line and starts later than he should’ve and the second he realises his mistake, he explodes in anger.

“No- Stop. Stop!” His arms are wailing around, brows in a permanent frown and his cheeks a hint of pink from how worked up he’s getting, “It’s all wrong!”

Adam lets his head hang at the outburst and George just watches Matty like he’s trying to find the best words to approach him with but Ross has had enough with his attitude so he just airs out his thoughts without much of a filter, “If you’re gonna change the setlist last minute then at least fucking try to properly soundcheck it mate. We’re all doing our parts alright.”

Matty knew they were all playing it right and it was just him who was unable to get it together and at least practice it well, “I fucking know Ross, okay?!” He’s almost shaking from anger, feeling like Ross isn’t even trying to understand where he’s coming from, “Fucking hell. Go and get called a fucking Nazi and see how it feels.”

“You think that hasn’t upset us all?!” Ross hisses in annoyance, “We fucking get it Matty but you’re being a right dick right now.”

“You know that it isn’t true so why are you letting it get to you this much? You’ve never let this shite get to your head before, why now?” Ross has a point with what he’s saying but the reasoning goes over Matty’s head when the bassist adds, “We’ve been through shit like this before, just stop caring like you always do.”

Matty takes is the wrong way and he’s fuming as he says, “And what’s that fucking meant to mean?” He doesn’t even let Ross speak though, because he’s quick to interrupt whatever he’s about to say with a scoff, “You’re such a fucking twat, Macdonald. That’s it. I’m not doing this anymore.”

Not even caring to put the microphone back on its stand, Matty throws it to the side and starts walking off stage, long strides that have Ross shaking his head, “Yes, fucking leave. ‘Cos that’s the best solution.”

Matty turns around to spout a venomous “Fuck you Ross.” and the last thing you hear him say before he disappears back inside the venue is, “Great fucking friend you are, you arsehole.”

You’re fully speechless watching all that happen before you, Amelia squeezes your forearm in shock and that snaps you out of your trance.

Your eyes go to Ross, who looks away when your eyes meet, then to George who just gives you a crooked smile and finally to Adam, who smiles softly at you like he’s trying to comfort you from afar.

“It’s just one of his tantrums, he’ll be alright.” Adam waves off as he sets his guitar on its stand, “He just needs a bit of time.”

You nod and sigh, the heaviness in your chest becoming more prominent, “Should I go check on him?”

“If you want?” George says once he’s down from where his kit is set up and shrugs at you with a bit of worry on his face.

Ross is the one to warn you though, “He might snap at you though, so don’t take it personal if he does.”

“Right.” You nod absentmindedly, trying to think of where Matty might be. You let your bottom lip free from between your teeth and turn to your best friend before you’re off to find your boyfriend, “Sorry Ames, I’ll be right back.”

Shooting Amelia an apologetic look, you start walking past her and she manages to get a little chuckle from you when she calls, “S’okay. Go get your man.”

You make a dash for the backstage area and arrive at the greenroom the quickest you can, and thankfully Matty is right there pacing the room with his head in his hands. His hair is sticking out in every direction from how much he’s pulling on it in frustration.

Careful to not startle him, you clear your throat as you walk into the room and stop when you’ve barely crossed the threshold. “Baby-” You try to ask him if he’s alright, but he interrupts your words when he looks up at you, red eyes with tears threatening to spill out at any second, and basically throws himself into your arms.

The weight of his body hitting yours has a huff slipping past your lips but your arms are quick to clutch him tightly and you allow him to just silently cry into you again. Instantly, you start whispering sweet nothings as you try to calm him down, but nothing works for a while.

Slowly, you guide the both of you to the nearest settee and when you take a seat on it, you encourage him to get comfortable with you. He has his legs thrown over your lap, his head hidden away in the crook of your neck and his arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

Matty is fully silent the whole time, just letting everything out on you and you try your best not to get upset yourself as he cries. 10 minutes must go by when he sniffles continuously and takes deep breaths as if trying to calm himself down, and he lifts his head up once he’s managed to stop crying but not before leaving a bunch of pecks on your neck.

“I’m such a twat, I’m so-” He tries to apologise in a panic, retreating to his space on the settee so he peels himself off you and that has you frowning.

“Don’t.” You interrupt his attempt at an apology and turn to him with a soft expression, your hand comes up to his face and cups it, thumb rubbing on his cheek and feeling the stubble creeping on his skin. “It’s okay, baby. Nothing to apologise for. You feeling a bit better?”

Your boyfriend lets his eyes close at your touch and he hums as confirmation in complete honesty. He’s so glad he can let himself be this vulnerable into you and he certainly notices just how much comfort you bring him because just your presence helps him settle down a bit after what had happened.

“Good.” You mumble in response and, cradling his head, you pull him onto you so he can rest on your chest while you hug him.

Despite all the bullshit that has gone down, seeing how you react in this situation and how you comfort him has his chest swelling. There’s no denying it anymore that you’re one of the best things that has ever happened to him and some thoughts start to clear up in his mind, all about the feelings he has towards you and a hint of how he might’ve underestimated them a little.

About 5 more minutes go by before the band and Amelia come back into the greenroom, their chatter quieting down when they walk into the room. They are wary about the state Matty was in and they don’t really want to disturb him if it was affecting him that much. There will be a much better moment to talk about it later so they will keep their mouths shut about it until the time comes to bring it up.

Amelia walks up to the drinks table and gets you and herself a water bottle, it really is so that you can give it to Matty because she doesn't want to disturb the singer. But when she walks up to you and hands you the bottle, you smile at her and thank her and the mention of her name makes Matty lift his head up to see your best friend.

He offers Amelia a forced side smile and you’re both surprised when he says, “M’sorry for ruining your birthday Ames.”

Amelia clicks her tongue and waves him off, “You haven’t! There’s nothing to apologise for, Matty.”

Your boyfriend gets himself up and pulls her into another hug, “Let me make you a drink, as an apology.”

“Maybe that apology I will accept.” Amelia giggles and she gives Matty a tight squeeze.

Your curly haired brunette smiles at your best friend before letting her go, and he looks between you and her before clapping and rubbing his hands together, “Let’s get the party started then.”

You don’t get in the way of that at all, George gets involved immediately grabbing a can out of the fridge and Rebekka and Polly all grab drinks too. Thankfully once music gets put on, the atmosphere settles a little and you relax that little bit more. And you’re really thankful to everyone wanting to make Amelia’s day special.

After you all end up having your first drink and raising your glasses to your best friend, you quickly grab your boyfriend’s attention for a moment, just to tell him, “I’m just gonna run to the bus. I need to get something, very quickly.”

“You remember the way back here, right?” Matty double checks, and he’s about to offer to come back with you until you assure him.

“I do.” You promise, and you cheekily ask, “Can you please make me another one of those cocktails for when I get back?”

Matty just grins though, “Of course baby.”

Quickly, you kiss him before you head out and Matty’s heart races that little bit when you turn back before you walk out and you catch him smiling at you.

He feels himself blush at the way you wink at him before you disappear off and he takes a second to calm down before he preps the drink you requested. He chats to your best friend with ease and Matty can tell himself getting that little bit better because she provides him with a good distraction. Even if she is jokingly asking if you’re boring him on tour yet or if your excitement has dwindled during the gigs.

When you come back 10 minutes later, everyone notices because when you come back in because as you do, you flick the lights off and when all eyes go to the door, they see you smiling with a birthday cake in your hands. You start off singing Happy Birthday to your best friend and you walk toward her with a grin and laugh through the lyrics when you see her cackling at the fact you have bought her a children’s Spiderman cake.

You’re glad she found it funny as all of this Andrew Garfield hype definitely wasn’t going to leave her anytime soon. After you set the cake down just before the song finished, Amelia blew out her candles and turned to you to give you the biggest hug ever. She thanks you a bunch of times and you giggle telling her how much you love her and have missed her and that you hope she has a fantastic day. After you say how excited you are for her to open her presents, and she promises she’ll open them when you both get back to the hotel, she notices that you’ve changed.

“Outfit change?” Amelia asks with a grin, as she knows exactly where she’s seen this outfit on you before.

You grin and nod, “Had to get my party fit on, Ames.”

“Course.” She laughs, and you notice the way Matty grins as he realises what you’ve changed into as she says, “You look hot.”

You wink at her and smile, “Thanks bestie.”

She winks back at you before turning around herself and heading over to socialise with Ross.

“Party outfit?” Your boyfriend moves over and wraps his arm around your waist. He can’t help but knowingly ask, “You’re wearing this for me?”

He doesn’t even have to ask. He knows you are. Why else would you be wearing red leather pants paired with a cheetah print, long sleeve top?

You shrug nonchalantly, trying not to let the grin tug at your lips, “Maybe?”

“Brings back good memories.” Matty says as he comes around to stand in front of you and he wraps his arms around your waist.

You feel heat rise to your cheeks at the thought of your first date. You genuinely can’t believe that your favourite singer is now your boyfriend, and it all started in a chicken shop in Cricklewood. “Amazing memories.”

Matty has genuinely never been so glad he agreed to an interview. And yes maybe he will eventually admit that he requested to have the date with you, but he’s beyond glad that he did because you have changed his life so much, and it’s certainly for the better.

“The bandana is missing though.” He points out with a soft pout on his face, you can’t hold back from pressing a quick kiss on his lips.

“I didn’t pack it. Sorry baby.” You truly wish you had taken that red bandana with you now but you think the outfit looks recognizable enough without it.

He quickly finds a solution in his head, “I can sort that out.” A red bandana is easy to get, he figures.

“‘Course you can.” You scoff out a laugh, but your amusement settles deep in your chest to add to the adoration you feel for this man. “Kinda wish it was raining right now, you know?” Your voice raises in pitch slightly and your smile grows bigger on your face when you think back to that moment, “Wanna kiss you in the rain again.”

Matty blushes and smiles so big, it reaches his eyes, wrinkles showing at the edges and it makes you melt as he says, “Do you?”

You hum as you nod, “I really do.” And just to taunt him you feign pity as you say, “What a shame, isn’t it?”

His eyes go from your down to your lips and up again continuously, you lick your bottom lip purposely as if daring him to kiss you but he sighs shakily and agrees, “What a shame.”

You want to laugh, his self control clearly crumbling because his gaze keeps dropping down to your lips, so you wrap your arms around his neck and with a toothy smile, you say, “Just kiss me, silly.” and Matty is not one to say no to anything you want.

However, your kiss is interrupted by Amelia and Ross gagging loudly beside you as they approach you with shots in hand. Turns out having tequila shots was the birthday girl’s wishes and you are pushed to downing the hellish liquid multiple times while you wait for the show to start.

Right before you’re off to the pit, you all have a little toast to the tour and to Amelia and it’s so cute being part of this little family. It warms your heart looking back and seeing how everyone had welcomed you into the tour and it’s even more special when you see your best friend also be treated like one of the family.

You’ve caught her giggling around with the band all night, having long conversations with Polly and Ross and even whispering about god-knows-what to Matty before you leave. It has you curious how they seem to be scheming something in secret until the very last minute you have in the greenroom.

But you forget to ask what they were talking about when you’re rushing out of the greenroom and it’s hilarious because, since you’re so tipsy, you and Amelia are giggling uncontrollably as you make your way through the pit.

Your note tonight is perfect for what Matty has schemed with Amelia, and he thinks it’s such a cute coincidence that you’ve written, Baby you look so cool x (you’d originally written babe but scribbled the e and written a y just underneath it) without knowing what is going to happen when the band starts playing Robbers.

Next comes the Charlie Chaplin cover of Smile which never fails to make you do just that, even if Matty acts all drunk and lonely on stage as he sings. You think it’s a beautiful song and you’re so happy that you’d got to see him sing it so often. But what happens next shocks you and the entire arena beyond belief.

It sobers you up watching the bit play out on stage, unbelievably so when you see Matty break down into tears holding Ross’ shoulder and apologising to him as Ross is forced to stand there and not react. You can’t even tell if he’s crying for the bit or not, it worries you.

As soon as you knew the consumption interlude was coming, you headed backstage needing to know if everything was alright because even though he had played 6 more songs after that bit had happened, he seemed a bit off.

So you appeared backstage and your arms opened up for him to run into them the second you saw him and you’re so glad he clutches you tightly and promises you he’s alright after you ask him if there was something bothering him.

He didn’t have much time to stay and chat to you, since the crew had gotten the stage ready for the at their very best section quickly so you reluctantly let him go with a sweet kiss that he thoroughly enjoys despite being rushed back onto stage.

Once he’s gone back on stage with the lads, you figure it’s better for you to be close to the stage just in case he gets upset again, so you go to the far left side of the stage where typically the crew watch the show from and stay there for the rest of the show.

Or at least that is what you were planning to do until your boyfriend takes the opportunity of An Encounter drowning the arena to start a little monologue which sparks your curiosity.

Matty smiles into the microphone and adjusts his in-ears as he walks over to the edge of the stage and leans forward as if he’s about to tell the crowd a secret. “You know, this next song has become a lot more special this past month and I wanted to share with you the reason for why that is.”

Listening to those words knowing that Robbers is next makes you turn slowly to your best friend and you find Amelia smiling brightly as you and you just know she has to do something with this because of the mischievous glint in her eyes.

There isn’t a chance for you to even ask about what’s happening when she drags you into the back of the stage and up the stairs so that you’re right beside the house. You’re so confused but you have to take quick steps so you don’t fall and it is when you’re almost by the door of the house that she pulls out a piece of red fabric and when a bit of light manages its way over where you are standing, you realise it’s a red bandana - the one you were missing.

“Put this on.” Amelia holds the bandana out for you.

But you’re so confused about everything, and why you’ve been moved to behind the stage, and what the bandana is even for, so you blankly ask, “What?”

“God- Okay,” Amelia half laughs, before she takes control of the situation as your confusion isn’t helping, “I’ll put it on you then.”

Your best friend spins you around so she can tie the material at the back of your head before turning you back and adjusting the bandana so it’s over your nose and it’s in the perfect position.

“What’s going on?” You ask as she’s doing this.

Your confusion doesn’t help when you can also hear screams from the audience and Matty’s muffled voice too. Clearly somethings going on and you’ve been left in the dark.

Your best friend looks you dead in the eye and pleads, “Trust me okay.” But you can’t settle.

“Ames, what’s happening?” You repeat yourself and she must be able to see the panic in your eyes because she answers you.

“You’re gonna go out there for something your boyfriend has planned.”

It’s an instinctive reaction to immediately be defensive, “What?! No!”

“Yes, come on!” Amelia grins, and quickly goes on to guilt trip you, “For me? For my birthday?”

“Ames…” You trail off, feeling like you’re frozen because you have no idea what you’re meant to do. Especially when she hands you a black bandana.

But your best friend spells it out for you, “As soon as Matty opens the door, you’re gonna tie this around his neck, okay?”

“Okay.” You say in a bit of a rush, your blood flooding with adrenaline so you blindly accept what she’s telling you. She adjusts your red one on your nose again, making sure it’s perfectly positioned as she instructs, “And keep this one around yours.”

You not without really knowing you’re agreeing yet you respond, “Okay.”

“Good luck,” She grins at you like a proud mother, “You got this.”

“Amelia-” You’re about to beg her for something more, but before you can the door in front of you opens, almost making you jump.

Your boyfriend stands at the open door with his hand already out for you to grab, the dreamiest smile on his face and you’re so nervous, you’re feeling a rush of a million emotions in one second.

And then your gaze drops to his chest in full show because his shirt is open and when you realise he’s somehow managed to get the Robbers shirt and is proudly wearing it for the song. It knocks the wind out of you, your throat goes dry at your lack of knowledge of what’s about to happen that involves you but Matty looks so happy compared to earlier that you’re willing to take part of whatever he’s planned.

That sultry, “Hey baby.” which makes your stomach flutter, snaps you out of the initial shock.

“What are we doing?” You ask through the bandana, almost frozen in your spot but he encourages you to take a small step forward.

“Putting on a show.” He pulls back and grins before he looks down at you and squeezes your hand as he says, “You look gorgeous.”

“I-” Whilst the compliment makes you blush, you’re not really sure it’s the time as you want more instructions from him than flattery. Regardless though, you end up stuttering a, “Thank you.”

“I got you baby. Let’s go.” Matty squeezes your hand tightly and this time you don’t hesitate to step out to him as you hear An Encounter begin to fade into your favourite song. Your boyfriend turns to you once more at the entryway to his house, the both of you just beside Rebekka and he still shields you from most people as he leans down to say into your ear, “Do what we did the other day in soundcheck, okay. I’ll stand on the table and when I go to sit down you crouch, okay?”

“Okay.” You nod complacently.

Kneel down in front of him, you can do. You’ve had practice at this point and you’ll be fine.

Your boyfriend checks once more, looking into your eyes intently for any discomfort you may be feeling as he asks, “You okay?”

“Yeah.” You promise him, nodding.

You trust Matty completely. If he wants you to do this, and be a part of his show, you’re going to do it as best you can.

The singer grins, leaning down again quickly to promise, “I got you.” and as you smile beneath the bandana, he also kisses just over your ear which makes you get flustered all over again.

And then suddenly you’re hit with a mass of screams and it’s difficult to even listen to the music that is being played around you. If you didn’t have those in-ears already in you would be fucked.

Matty walks just one step in front of you, pulling you across towards George, but only for a step until he turns back towards you and pulls you into his body. His hand lands on your waist and he slow dances you towards the white door as the drums kick in and everyone screams again.

Little do you know, more screams take place because on the screen, it comes up with, Special Guest: New Robbers Girl. It’s a detail which you will certainly be laughing at later but in the moment you have no idea as your boyfriend is dancing you across his stage.

You giggle, knowing exactly what he’s doing and what he’s referencing as you dreamed about someone doing this with you when you were younger and you first watched the music video that still to this day has you in a chokehold. Despite your heart beating wildly, you let him lead you like that, spinning you both around until you are through the door and see Polly and Jamie who give you big smiles.

That’s the moment Matty frees you from the short dance but he pulls your arm until it's fully extended and you’re gently dragged along in the direction of the stairs. It's again another reference to the beginning of the music video and you love it with all your heart.

When you reach the bottom of the stairs, it doesn’t take you long to reach the place where you know you’re gonna be standing which is right by the coffee table and once your boyfriend turns you around by the waist so you’re facing him, you catch Adam smiling at you and it definitely helps to settle your nerves a bit.

But Matty starting to sing brings all of your attention back to him, goosebumps erupt all over your skin at the charged energy of the arena and the way he sounds with the crowd singing along.

In your hands remains the bandana Amelia gave you just before the door opened, and you remember what you’re meant to do with it when you clutch it tightly between your fingers. So you bring it up to his neck so you can tie it on the back, but your actions still when he sings the next line staring directly into your eyes.

“God only knows but you’ll never leave her,” the conviction in his eyes makes you melt inside, your knees get weak and your heart swells and the flood of every feeling this man brings you comes in even stronger when he reiterates into the mic, “Never.”

You aren’t sure how you manage to tie the bandana around his neck when that happens, but you’re soon smoothing your hands from his shoulders down to his sweaty taut chest and you genuinely feel like you need to pinch yourself just to make sure you aren’t dreaming.

His fingers wrap around your wrist and slowly he walks backwards until he hits the coffee table and he gets up on it. He doesn’t even have to guide you where to go because you’re positioning yourself right in front of him, looking up as he continues to sing.

The lights on stage showcase his beauty, and you can’t help but get lost in how good he looks in his element. It’s different seeing it from up close, the brown of his eyes glistening under the lighting and his curls being illuminated like a halo around his head.

“Begging babe stay, stay, stay, stay, stay.” You watch him intently and you can’t help but grin at the way he nudges the microphone against your chin for that final stay.

Matty can tell just how big your smile is from the way your eyes are half closed and the apples of your cheeks moving to bring the bandana up the slightest bit. And he smiles just as brightly, nothing has ever felt more right to him than this.

As he’s singing, “One more fight,” Matty slowly steps down from the table and you know your queue. You start to kneel down and when you do Matty sits on the end of the table.

You’re singing along with him, not giving a shit if he can hear you or not or whether it’s ruining what he had planned but you can’t help yourself. He’s singing your favourite song to you.

He reaches the first, “Will I know you.” and as Adam’s guitar begins to ring in the background, Matty leans in and you know what’s coming. You welcome the way he gently grabs your jaw over your bandana and he pulls you in.

In the short gap between the verses, Matty presses his lips over yours, through the red material you’re wearing, and you can’t help but smile as you close your eyes to kiss him back. It’s a weird sensation, kissing but not quite, but you can feel his smile through it and you can see the joy on his face when you both pull away seconds after the crowd erupts in screams.

What the fuck is happening? Is all that’s going through your mind at the moment.

Your mind just can’t really grasp reality at the minute, not when your boyfriend is making one of your teenage dreams come true. Hell, your boyfriend is your teenage dream come true.

Both of you stay in that position as he continues onto the second verse, with you singing along as he looks into your eyes. Matty can tell you’re doing this, and he doesn’t need to see beneath the material to know that your lips are pulled into a huge smile, he can tell just from your eyes alone.

“You’ve got a pretty kind of dirty face.” Matty grins over his microphone as he sings that line at you. But he doesn’t stop there, he gently traces his finger down the centre of your face as he does and it has people screaming that little bit louder, along with you doing the same internally.

As he continues, he doesn’t let his touch stray for long. Instead, he takes a piece of your hair and starts toying with it. Twirling it around his finger over and over as he sings, “And when she’s leaving you’re home, she’s begging you to stay, stay, stay, stay, stay.”

Your eyes glimmer with adoration and your heart feels like it’s about to burst in your chest when he sings, “There’ll be a riot, cause I know you.” and he takes a hold of your wrist where ‘Be a riot’ is inked on your skin and he plants a chaste kiss over it.

It isn’t long that you can stay short circuiting over the gesture, because he’s sliding his hand up from your wrist to intertwine your fingers and helping you back up to stand on your feet.

The song starts building up, his voice becoming more passionate and so does his touch which goes from your hand to cup the side of your neck, bringing you a step closer to him. His fingers lace through the strands of your hair, twirling them softly before letting them fall.

And you know it then, what he’s going to do, knowing which line is sneaking up on you and you nod, reading his mind about it. It’s subtle and reassuring, and it’s warmth that envelopes you as it pours out of both of you when you know that this is it.

Matty’s finger tentatively comes to rest over the bridge of your nose, hooking on the edge of the bandana and he slowly peels it down your face as he sings, “But if you just take off your mask,”

The screams of the crowd when your face is finally revealed are deafening, yet it feels like you’re inside of a bubble. Just you and Matty. No one else. And this is your moment, just you two and there’s absolutely nothing else you could ever wish for.

Your cheeks hurt from how big you’re smiling, and his own smile is making it harder for him to continue singing. That and how badly he wants to seal this moment with a kiss, how badly he wants for everyone to know just how strongly he feels about you, how badly he wants for everyone to see how you’ve got him at your mercy entirely because he’s sure there’s nothing you could ever ask that he wouldn’t do.

“Sing it for me babies!” Matty shouts to the audience and he holds the microphone out towards them so they can scream, ‘Now everybody’s dead!’ but your boyfriend has other ideas for you two.

With his other hand, Matty cups the back of your neck and firmly and fiercely kisses you as the crowd screams the lyrics at the both of you. He lets the wire fall over his arm as he drops the microphone so he can get it again with ease later, but he brings his now free hand to your waist, wrapping it around your lower back pulling you into him, until he consumes you entirely.

It’s instinctive that your hand roots into his curls at this point, the other grabbing hold of his open shirt, pulling it towards you making sure he can’t escape either. Your heart is pounding, entirely running on adrenaline, and completely overwhelmed with the feelings you have for the man who’s holding you in his arms.

Matty never wants to let you go and you hope he doesn’t either. Over the loud screams you can barely hear the song anymore but you know he’s missed more than just that one lyric. It’s only when you just about hear the others singing through your in-ears, “He’s got his gun.” that you realise you’ve both got too wrapped up in the moment.

Yet, still in your hazy mind, you manage to register your favourite part of the song and you’re the one who pulls back and breaks the kiss solely to tell him, “Babe, you look so cool.”

His face is flushed, curls dishevelled just how you like them and that loopy smile on his face that melts your heart, and he looks into your eyes in a way that you just can’t describe, his lips parting and letting a soft exhale to hit your mouth before he sings to you, “You look so cool.”

Suddenly, he remembers he’s meant to sing so he’s hastily getting ahold of the mic again, but he interrupts himself and cuts the run he’s meant to do as he sings the word ‘cool’ when he watches your lips move as you sing along and he can’t be arsed singing anymore when you’re right there in front of him.

He throws the mic to the floor, the wire falling down his arm so he’s free to cup your face with both hands and pressing your lips together feverishly. His arms wrap around the back of your neck, and he brings his hands up to your hair to pull on it softly once before he’s crossing his forearms behind your head so he can pull you impossibly closer to him.

You moan softly into his mouth at his desperation, matching it with the way your fingers dig into the flesh of his waist where you’re holding him tightly as if there was a chance that he could be snatched away from you if you weren’t careful. You kiss until you’re lost for breath, only parting when you need to for air but it's never for more than a split second.

There's a push and pull between you as the rest of the band finish playing the song with huge smiles on their faces. If Matty came into the kiss a little too strong you’d try and take a step backwards but he quickly follows you, keeping you in the kiss, and he would lean backwards pulling you forwards.

The song unfortunately ends and that's when you force yourself to pull back from the kisses. But when you do, Matty just grins and he turns towards the crowd, pulling you with him and he moves so he can hug you from behind quickly so you can take in the applause.

“All for us baby.” He says into your ear, and you can’t help but turn around to quickly hug him, a little embarrassed being up here in front of so many people.

Your boyfriend giggles but doesn’t hesitate for a second to hug you back as the applause rings on. After a second though you pull back and Matty takes your hand in his and he starts moving the both of you back over to Adam’s side of the stage so you can get to the stairs.

Matty lets you walk in front of him, making sure you get up the stairs alright, and then he lets you walk back across the top of the stage towards the ‘front’ door. George and Rebekka grin at you as you walk past which gets you a little more embarrassed but you embrace it when you get to the door and you look out at the huge audience again.

You blow them all a kiss and give them a big wave and smile which makes everyone scream again and it makes you giggle. When you turn to look at your boyfriend again, he’s already grinning at you and he gives your hand a squeeze, and just the way he’s looking so cute and so gooey, you give him another kiss.

It’s quicker than your last few but it means just as much as those ones. You can feel each other's smiles which cuts it a little shorter but you’re grinning like fools when you step back towards the door again.

Like a gentleman he opens the door for you and as you’re about to go through he pulls you back in for another kiss. It’s a short kiss but it’s one you cherish so much, even more when you part and at the same time you both mouth, “Obsessed with you.” at each other. You take a step through the door but before you can walk through, you feel yourself get all flustered as he looks at you, before you can walk through the door though he holds your hip and tells you, “Wait here a second baby.”

Matty quickly pecks your lips one last time, before he jumps down from the top stage, onto the settee and then he quickly crouches down to pick up the microphone from near the edge of the stage where he threw it earlier. He sighs with a toothy grin on his face once his eyes are back on the crowd. Seeing this many people witness you and him finally out and not sneaking around makes him incredibly happy.

“Y/N Y/L/N, ladies and gentlemen.” His voice rings through the speakers, as he turns to watch you wave goodbye to the mass of people in front of the stage and you quickly blow him another kiss before you turn to walk back through the house’s door.

“Wow, what a girlfriend reveal!” Matty breathes out with a giggle at the end, as soon as you’ve disappeared behind the door. He’s so giddy, he just can’t conceal it and he doesn’t really want to so he gives in and proudly shares with the crowd as he grabs he walks up and down the stage, “I’m a very lucky man. The luckiest in fact, can you believe I’ve managed to snag one of the hotties from Chicken Shop Date?”

The crowd gets loud again but the noise doesn’t stop the thoughts from leaving the singer’s mouth entirely unfiltered, “I know I can’t. Still have to pinch myself every morning when I wake up next to her. She’s truly the woman of my dreams.” Matty feels his cheeks get hot at the admission, a string of giggles slipping past his lips.

At least the screams he gets as a response feel like validation so he continues with it, “Sorry for being soppy but, I mean… You lot know her, how could I not?” He’s trying to elongate the mic’s wire, knowing which song is next on the setlist and how he’s gonna want to go all around the stage.

But as he finishes unknotting it and pulling it the most he can, he looks back up to the people before him and adds some more, “Isn’t she just fucking gorgeous as well?”

Matty truly could speak about you for hours, it’s not even been a month since you’ve officially gotten together but he has so many things about you pinned to the forefront of his mind and there’s so many things that he thinks about you that he could honestly find himself lost in sentences regarding all that you are and what you’ve achieved and every little thing you do.

So it’s no surprise that his tongue wants to let loose and spill all of these thoughts out but then he hears George call him, “Simp,” through his in-ears and all of the band giggles when it stops Matty in his tracks.

He turns around to look at the drummer with a glare and he calls him out, “Alright George, piss off. I don’t say shit when you’re with Charli.”

It makes the crowd laugh and holler, some of them spouting comments in the air that get lost in the chaos of so many people shouting at the same time but in a couple of seconds it settles and a particular scream manages to make itself clear out of the crowd and Matty cackles loudly into the mic, “Someone’s just said foursome.”

George laughs into the mic as well, and Matty manages to hear something along the lines of, “You can be in the corner recording.” in between the crowd’s loud screams at the prospect of the lewd proposition.

“Let’s not bring that back to Y/N’s attention please, I’ve already gone through that chat.” Matty admits with a cheeky smile, hoping that you’re listening to this and already picturing in his mind the way you must be flustered at this talk being had on stage in front of thousands of people.

And you are flustered, fanning yourself because you feel scorching hot after everything that has happened in the past ten minutes. So much so, you’ve had to sit down and you’re now watching the screens backstage as you listen to your boyfriend.

“I feel faint.” You let Amelia know, your brows are softly pinched together from how lightheaded and hot you’re feeling but still staring at the screen in front of you with a look that Amelia reads instantly.

With the adrenaline dying down, you can’t quite believe you’ve just done that. You got your robbers kiss, your moment to your favourite song that you’ve only dreamed about since 2013. And now, you and Matty are public. You can’t stop smiling despite the way your heart is beating out of your chest.

Amelia sits beside you, her arm going over your shoulder and she pulls you into her as she giggles before kissing your cheek.

“You’re down bad.” She concludes, she can see it written all over your face and it shines through your eyes and her heart swells in her chest for you.

She’s never seen you so happy.

Despite how soon it may be, you nod in confirmation, “I am.”

From the way your cheeks hurt from smiling so hard and the tingling you feel rushing to every corner of your being, you know it’s more than the adrenaline pumping through your veins that is making your heart beat wildly. After what just happened on stage, there’s no way you can deny that your feelings for Matty are getting stronger with every second you spend by his side.

It’s crazy. It’s rushed. It’s far too soon. You can almost clearly hear everyone telling you.

But you know in your heart, nothing and nobody has ever felt more right.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: We hope you enjoyed this one because we truly loved writing it so much. We were so emotional thinking about how this was originally the end, so glad we got more content to continue writing about! We just wanted to say that we’re not having the Friedland podcast in this story because we have no interest in touching that subject in a work of fiction that we consider an escape from reality. Instead, since this is a continuation of NRIACC Matty and he wouldn’t have ever taken part in that, we’re having the Brits as they were meant to happen and we’re so excited to write that evening and share it with you guys. Thanks so much for reading again, and for your patience and all the love you give this story, yous are the best! xx 

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[abiiors]

promises to keep // matty healy x reader

valentine's week - day 4: promises to keep

a/n: four times he keeps his promises and the one time he doesn't. that's it, that's the fic. cw: a whole lot of teenage yearning, mentions of high school bullying. worm??? wc: 4.8k

matty’s ten when she first barrels into his life like a little storm cloud. 

they’re both at his mum’s overly fancy christmas party—matty’s fuming the whole time, wrinkling his nose in disgust at everything because he’s ten and quite frankly a little shit. his mum wants him inside, being a good boy for the guests. 

his gran wants him to serenade them with old frank sinatra songs. 

and matty just wants to go outside and play in the snow. it’s a rare white christmas—the snow doesn’t usually stick until late january but this year it’s thick and powdery and so fluffy white that he constantly keeps running to the windows to press his little face against them. 

the party’s boring! everywhere he looks there are grown ups laughing at grown up jokes that he has no interest in, so matty takes his chance and sneaks away again, running to his preferred window. when he turns the corner, someone’s already there, pressing their face against the window just like he had. 

matty realises it’s a girl. she looks about his age, maybe a bit younger, but he’s never seen her before. on the one hand, she’s the first (and perhaps the only) person at the party who’s his age. on the other hand, she’s a girl. 

when his footsteps falter, she turns to look at him. 

“who are you?” she asks, nose turned up like she owns the place. matty’s eyes narrow. 

“who are you?” and then his eyes move to the palm of her hand that’s cupping something, something that looks suspiciously like a— “is that a snake?”

he screeches and she scrambles to shush him. 

“he’s not a snake! he’s a worm,” she snaps back quickly. “and can you not be so loud? i don’t need my mum to know.”

“why not?”

“oh,” her cheeks redden and she shields the worm away with her other hand, almost protective. matty wants to smile. “well, my mum says bug can’t come with us to parties.”

“bug? i thought you said he was a worm.”

she rolls her eyes like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. then she presents the wriggly thing in front of him, beaming and proud. “his name is bug, silly!”

“bug the worm?” matty drawls. he can’t tell if he’s impressed or not but the worm certainly looks interesting. 

“yeah!” she grins. matty notices her front two teeth are missing. “anyway mum says bug can’t come with us to parties but i didn’t wanna leave him alone at christmas. that’s just mean.”

matty nods. the logic checks out. before he can say anything though she sighs like all the burden of the world is on her shoulders. “i wish we could go outside though. i really wanna play in the snow.”

matty contemplates an idea—he wants to go out in the snow, and so does she. and now that there’s someone else to keep him company, someone who could maybe even be a partner-in-crime, his whole face lights up. 

“let’s go then!”

“but—”

“can you sneak out or not?” 

she looks absolutely scandalised at the suggestion. the worm raises its head and matty wonders what it’s thinking, if it wants to go outside too. 

“come on!” he whines, “i’m sure bug will love the snow too.”

he can almost see the gears in her head turning then. she looks around them, neck craning to see if there are any adults in sight, ready to catch them and tattle on them. 

“i promise you won’t get in trouble,” he declares and extends his pinkie at her. he tries to look as serious and solemn as possible. she eyes him skeptically for a moment, narrowing her eyes and staring him down. then a mischievous glint enters her eyes, and with a determined nod, she hooks her pinkie around his.

they quietly slip away to the back door. matty leads the way, occasionally checking over his shoulder for any adults. behind him she grins with palpable excitement. the door opens with a little creek and cool air blows in. 

they both shiver and then burst into a fit of giggles. 

they scamper into the snowy yard, trying not to laugh so loud and alert their parents but matty can’t help but gloat about having successfully snuck out. his excitement is infectious though because she joins him too, making snow angels and throwing snowballs at the back of his head. 

she even sets bug down, and matty watches fascinated by the way the worm wriggles through the cold fluff. 

all in all they get five minutes of absolute bliss before he hears his mum’s voice, calling out for him. matty pales. 

“my mum!” he winces and instinctively steps in front of her. “go, go, go!” he almost snaps at her.

“go where?”

“i don’t know, hide or something!” his voice thins and matty almost pushes her behind a big tree in the yard. “i promised i won’t let you get into trouble, didn’t i!”

she’s about to say something but he shushes her again, pulling her to the tree so she’s hidden behind it. 

“i’ll keep the back door open for you,” he whispers and then makes a run for it. 

by the time his mum catches him, looking sheepish and suspiciously damp, matty’s already inside. the door’s almost closed behind him and he wilts unders his mum’s disapproving gaze. 

“matthew…” she sighs. “what did we talk about?”

“i know, i know…” he drags his feet and follows her inside with a grumpy pout on his face. minutes later the girl sneaks back inside, absolutely undetected. 

bug the worm scurries away into the night, makes a run for freedom, but like the snow, their friendship sticks. and so does the name “bug”.

matty's thirteen when he finds her sniffling in the abandoned girl’s bathroom on the third floor. he’s technically not allowed there but that’s never stopped him before. besides, he knows that’s where she would be if he can’t find her anywhere else. 

“bug?” he calls out tentatively and waits for a response. she sniffles quietly and matty frowns. “you okay in there? can i come in?”

a beat goes by and then she responds with a wobbly “sure.”

when he finally finds her huddled in a cubicle, face red and splotchy, his frown deepens. 

“what’s wrong.”

she turns her face away and loudly blows her nose into some toilet paper. “you won’t get it.” 

matty makes a face at her. “is it about a boy?”

she whips her head at him and gives him an absolutely withering glare. matty tries not to squirm under it but she looks just about done with him and so he sighs and raises his hands in surrender. “i’m sorry, alright? will you please tell me what’s wrong?”

the apology softens her a little but she still looks as devastated as ever. her knees are bunched up to her chest, and she puts her head on them, mumbling something indecipherable. 

“what was that?” he asks and strains his ears more. 

“i got my period!” she snaps and matty’s mouth morphs into an ‘o’. as a teenager, the whole period topic is currently his least favourite. he remembers learning about it in biology, he remembers the mortification and the juvenile giggling and matty shudders. well, almost shudders because another withering glare shuts him right up. like she’s daring him to make another stupid comment. 

“oh.”

“yeah,” she sniffles and blows her nose once again. matty looks at her properly then, at her teary eyes and wobbling chin and all his disgust from a moment before fades into concern. 

“are you…okay?” he asks softly, “do you need something?”

reluctantly, she nods and takes a deep breath before launching into the story. 

“i though my stomach hurt because i ate something weird, you know? i didn’t-i didn’t know… i’ve never… it’s my first time,” she scrunches her eyes shut and matty pats her knee, kind of at a loss for words. “well i didn’t realise i’d stained my trousers until… until suzy chapman from year 8 pointed it out. she was so loud about it too.” her lips quiver again and she dissolves into a fresh round of tears. 

matty sighs. “have you been to the nurse yet? for…i don’t know, whatever you need.”

she shakes her head. “i don’t wanna go out like this, everyone’s going to laugh at me.”

matty’s chest aches at how small her voice sounds. with a fresh round of concern he realises she must be in more pain. he doesn’t know much about periods really, but he knows how his mum can’t really do much for the first day or so every month. so matty shuffles next to her, their knees touching and thighs pressed together. 

“how about i come with you?”

she shoots the idea down instantly. “i’m not leaving till school’s done for the day and everyone’s gone home.”

“bug, that’s four hours away!” his voice rises, tinged with incredulity but she just shakes her head and mumbles a “that’s fine.”

“no it’s not,” he declares. he’s never felt so much indignation in the thirteen years he’s been alive but matty is absolutely determined to make this right. “i promise you no one will make fun of you. they will have to deal with me first.”

she gives him a watery chuckle, more tears leaking that she wipes away quickly. “you’re a twig, matty. you can hardly fight.”

matty feels a warmth in his chest when he finally sees her crack a smile. “i’ll cover you,” he says, “come on, bug. it’s not that far away.”

she uhms and aahs a bit more, trying to make excuses but in the end matty manages to convince her. then he stands, brushes his trousers and extends his hand to her. it takes her another thirty seconds to swallow nervously, but in the end she takes his hand and pulls herself up. 

she’s a bit taller than him, much to his annoyance, but for once matty keeps his mouth shut and motions for her to go ahead, protectively hovering behind her, blocking the stain with his body. he fiercely glares at anyone who so much as looks at her for more than a second. many of the boys in their year whoop at him, some girls roll their eyes but matty pays attention to none of it. 

he sticks to following her around until they reach the nurse’s office. he’s actually quite proud of himself if he’s being honest. 

she hesitates at the door, and matty squeezes her hand reassuringly. “go,” he says. “i’ll be right outside.”

the smile she gives him then is one he’s never seen before—it’s warm and adoring. she looks at him like he really matters. she looks at him like he’s something special. irreplaceable. 

matty shakes his head, ignoring the silly thoughts, and stays put outside. just like he’s promised.

matty’s sixteen when the list first comes out. it’s a vile little thing—something none of his friends interact with, but the entitled, rich twats pass it around like it’s a designer strain of weed. by now the paper’s quite crumpled, unfolded and refolded several times by grubby hands eager to soak up the gossip and find new targets to bully. 

the list makes its rounds and matty ignores it pointedly each time. 

but his heart sinks when he overhears her name, followed by snickers. his breath catches in his throat when the boys pat each other on the back and shake each other’s hands, cementing some kind of a bet or a deal. 

discomfort coils in his stomach and he pulls out his phone under the desk, shooting her a quick text. 

haven’t seen you today

where are you

he waits for her to respond or even just to read it but she does none of those things. matty shakes his leg restlesly, waiting for the lesson to be over so he can go find her and make sure she’s alright. he’s been on edge since he heard her name being whispered and now he can’t shake the bad feeling that grips. 

“oi!” someone behind him whispers, snapping him out of his thoughts. fingers tap on his shoulders and then he hears a rustle of paper. before he realises it, someone’s slides a piece of paper in his hands. 

it’s even more torn than it was the last time matty saw it—matty almost doesn’t open it, but something catches his eye. his stomach roils, the lesson drags on as usual, and with shaky fingers matty unfolds the list. 

his eyes skim it quickly—hottest arse, hottest tits, easiest fuck—all of it raises his disgust more and more, he’s about to crumple it into a ball and dump it in the bin when the last catagory catches his eye. 

most fuckable virgin. and right in front of it, scrawled in the ugliest handwriting he’s ever seen is her name. 

for a moment, everything falls silent. all he can hear is the sound of blood rushing in his ears, all he can focus on is the way his chest tightens and his vision tinges red. 

then he crumples the list in a ball and shoves everything in his bag. he can hear the teacher falter mid-sentence but matty cannot care less right now. instead he slings his bag on his shoulder and storms out the class, ignoring all the shouts and warnings from the teacher. he knows his mum will get a call but that’s the last thing on his mind right now. 

he pulls his phone out again once he’s far away enough. 

bug?

you saw it didn’t you

again, there’s no response. he can’t even go to the third floor bathroom anymore. it’s been long fixed up and put back in use. so matty does the only thing he can think of. he waits until the bell rings, then he pulls george from chemistry, and adam and ross from history. he knows they will have his back no matter what, especially if he’s going to go pick a fight with the entitled, rich fucks. 

i promise i’m going to take care of it

he sends one last text and turns his phone off. then he makes his way to the car park and waits for the bullies to come out. 

the next time matty sees her, she’s absolutely seething with rage. seriously, trembling with rage doesn’t even begin to cover it. 

“you could have been expelled!” she yells, pacing in his room, burning a path in his rug. 

“i know.”

“do you? does george? adam and ross? i cannot believe you got them involved in this matty, seriously?”

“i knowww,” he says again, a bit louder this time but absolutely wilts when she glares his way.

“and you got yourself hurt!”

“mmm.”

“well?” she stops in front of him, hands on her hips, frown on her face and matty has no choice but to look up at her. he hates that her eyes are tinged pink, hates that they look puffy and that there are tear stains on her cheeks. 

he hates knowing that the stupid piece of paper made her cry. 

her eyes well up again and her lower lip wobbles. “your hands are bleeding,” she says softly and then marches to his bathroom to get the first aid kit out. 

matty follows her like a lost puppy, mostly because he just wants to be sure she’s okay. but a tiny part of him worries that he’s crossed a line this time. that maybe he should have talked to her first before jumping harry and his gang of bullies in the car park. 

if he’s being technical—they did win the fight. barely. and now he has a black eye, countless scratches and cuts, bleeding knuckles and a nasty, colourful bruise blooming on his ribs. it hurts every time he breathes but matty doesn’t pay it much mind. 

“sit,” she points at the closed toilet seat and he obeys instantly. 

he watches her put the kit down on the sink, wordlessly she grabs antiseptic, ointment, bandages and wipes and sets them out next to each other. she doesn't say anything for a moment, her focus solely on treating his injuries. matty can feel the thick, cloying tension in the room though and he’s too afraid to even clear his throat. 

“i just wanted to make it right…” he whispers. 

she shoots him a look that could cut glass, but she doesn't interrupt his feeble attempt at explanation.

“seriously, love. i didn’t think… i’m sorry.” her hand stills halfway through cleaning his knuckle and matty’s cheeks warm. love. that’s not something he’s called her before, definitely not when she’s standing right between his legs, holding his hand. 

“‘s fine,” she whispers quickly and gets started on the next cut. “i just…worry about you.”

he pointedly ignores the way his chest feels then, the way his skin tingles. instead, he manages a small smile. 

“so we’re good?”

“you’re an idiot,” she shakes her head and smiles. it’s barely there, just a twitch of her lips but matty feels his whole body light up in response. “yeah, matty. we’re good.”

“good,” he gives her a cheeky grin. “because you’re a bit of a shit nurse. bad bedside manners,” he teases and yelps when she pinches his arm.

matty’s eighteen when his music first feels like a real, serious thing. serious enough to drop out of a levels and take up music as a full time thing. serious enough that he’s been travelling around more and more—hanging around solely with george, ross, and adam. it’s been weeks since he’s properly seen her. 

weeks since they’ve talked on the phone. 

of course, matty knows she’ll be busy studying for exams. she’s so much smarter than he is, has so much potential in her. but he misses her, misses having her around him and scolding him lightly every time he does something impulsive. 

mostly, he just misses hanging out with her. 

you free? he texts, not really expecting a reply but seconds later three dots dance on the screen.

hi matty! 

i will be in a bit. i’m out with mum rn. dress shopping for my birthday 

inwardly, he winces. of course, her birthday’s coming up. not that he’d forgotten about about it but the days have started blurring together recently and he could have sworn it was still about a month until her birthday. not… he checks the date and curses. he certainly didn’t think it would be a week away. 

the dots come back, dancing and dancing and dancing before they disappear. matty tries to think of something to say. 

so when’s the big party? he types and then instantly deletes it. it’s lame, she’s never been one to have a giant birthday party. mostly she just wants to have a nice hangout with her friends and maybe go out to dinner. but she’s turning eighteen in a week and he wonders if this is the year she finally does it—throws a giant rager that is. 

so…

her text comes through a minute later he gets so excited he almost drops his phone. cursing at himself, matty straightens and waits for the second text to come through. 

we’re going out to dinner on saturday. nothing super fancy, just friends. i thought it’d be nice if you could come 

you don’t have to of course

ik how busy you are

it’s fine if you can’t

forget i asked

the last four texts come in rapid fire succession and his frown deepens with each one of them. is that what she thinks of him now? that he won’t even have time for her on such an important day. 

bug, he interrupts her text spree and smiles when the dots die down once again. i’ll be there. i promise

for the longest time, nothing happens—no dots, no texts. then almost like it took a lot of debating to send it, she sends two more texts. 

can’t wait to see you :)

<3

his face splits into a grin as he reads them. and then he stares at the heart for far longer than he cares to admit. 

she squeals when she sees him that saturday, jumping up from her seat and engulfing him in a bear hug the moment he opens his arms. matty laughs and her scent fills his chest. they stay like that for a long time—until her friend’s are looking at them with varying degrees of interest, until he can gather his thoughts. until a server finally clears his throat and points out that they’re quite literally in the middle of the restaurant. 

she blushes and takes his hand, pulling him to their table, and matty settles next to her, mostly just happy to see her beaming and excited. 

“happy birthday, love,” he whispers the first chance he gets and her eyes widen slightly. she mumbles a quick thank you and then spears her pasta, avoiding his eyes. 

throughout dinner, he can't help but steal glances at her. he watches the way her eyes light up when she talks about her plans for the future, about the university courses she's considering. he laughs along with her friends too, and before they know it, they’re scarfing down desserts before her friends hand her birthday gifts one by one. 

matty waits patiently and saves his for last. instead he watches her open them with a look of pure adoration.

at last, he slides the neately wrapped gift in her direction and watches her look at it curiously. 

“go on, then,” he smiles, “open it.”

he laughs when she tries to open it as neately as possible, trying not to rip the paper in the slightest just like she has for all the previous birthdays he’s celebrated with her. 

the paper falls away and eyes widen about as much as the empty dessert plates in front of them. 

“matty!” she gapes, “this is–this–”

“yeah?” he giggles at her reaction and her friends look on in interest. 

“a camera! you got me a camera, holy shit!” 

“i know,” he grins, immensely enjoying how tongue tied she is.  

matty leans back in his chair, looking pleased with himself. “do you like it?”

her eyes shimmer with gratitude, and for a moment matty’s sure she’s gonna cry. then she launches herself at him again, this time wrapping him in a tight hug that lasts longer than before. and matty simply melts into her arms, buries her face into the crook of her neck and smiles at the warmth that spreads through his chest. 

“i love it,” she whispers, “thank you, matty. i mean it. i love it so so much!”

they don’t pull away until one of her friends clears their throat and even then it’s almost impossible for him to let her go. but matty settles back and watches her pull it out. he laughs when she immediately points it at him and the shutter snaps. 

“you’re cute,” she smiles and he wonders if it’s just a trick of the light or if her cheeks really do turn pink then.

matty’s twenty-one the night he offers her a job. well, it’s more of a summer gig and it’s more because he misses her so much that he can’t get anything right. 

she’s busy with uni and he’s busy with music. but tonight’s a rare night, and they’re both a bit more than tipsy at some house party. that’s another surprise for him—the fact that she parties now. but he likes this side of her. she’s definitely gotten out of her shell more. become more confident in general and lately, every time he’s spoken to her, he’s felt this funny feeling in his chest for hours after. 

“as the band’s official photographer?” she slurs and then giggles. “this is a world tour, is it?” 

“shut up,” he flicks her nose and she scrunches it up adorably. “it’s eight cities in the uk. mostly as openers for other bands. come onnnnnn,” he whines and pouts hoping it would persuade her. 

she presses her finger to her chin and makes a show of thinking hard. matty giggles and smoothes the crease between her brow but she swats him away. 

“on one condition,” she giggles behind her hands. “since we will be around each other constantly for three weeks, sharing hotel rooms—” matty wags his eyebrows, “—and just be joined at the hip in general… you need to promise me something.”

“alright,” he leans forward, chin on his palm, looking at her with interest. the alcohol makes his head spin, her smile wipes it clean of any thoughts. 

“promise me we won’t fall in love like a cheesy rom-com,” she presses her lips together and matty wrinkles his nose. 

“if i was going to fall in love with you bug, it would have happened already.”

“uh-huh,” she arches an eyebrow and matty shakes his head. 

“fine. no cliche rom-com stuff. no falling in love. now say yes… please?”

“fineee,” she makes a show of rolling her eyes but smiles at him fondly. “yes. i’ll be your photographer.”

the first night they share a hotel room, matty feels a pangs in his chest and his brain reminds him of the promise over and over again—no silly little rom-com cliche. they’re better than that. he knows it. but the next morning she wakes up in his arms, limbs tangled together, her hair tickling his face and he can’t help the way his heart skips a beat. she smiles at him sweetly, all sleepy and warm and so precious she might as well be made of glass, and matty’s chest aches like it has never before. 

blink and two weeks melts away. he realises he’s been rather looking forward to coming “home” to her—to their shared hotel room that is. to warmth and music floating through her old laptop and her laughter. his whole body buzzes with an unfamiliar feeling whenever he looks at her—and lately that’s all he seems to be doing whenever she’s editing the day’s photos on her laptop, tongue poking out in concentration, eyebrows furrowed. 

“c’mere”, he pleads when she briefly sets the laptop aside. she looks at him curiously, at the way he just sits on the bed, waiting for her but in the end she gets up and walks up to him to stand between his legs—something she’s done a million times before. yet this time his hands tremble by his sides and he has to resist the urge to place them on her waist.

“you’re pretty,” he says as a matter of fact. it is a fact after all and it earns him a gorgeous grin.

“yeah?” 

“mm,” he hums and closes his eyes. to matty’s surprise, he feels fingers in his hair, combing through his curls, tugging gently at the ends. “and lately it’s been getting really difficult to not kiss you every time i look at you.”

it’s so bold that her fingers stop moving altogether and for a moment matty think’s he’s fucked up irrevocably, that there’s no going back now. but she’s so close, so enticing. and the next thing he knows, she lowering herself onto his lap, her face inches away from his. 

she smiles at him, and softly caresses his cheek. once or twice her eyes even dip to his lips but he doesn’t dare breathe, or move really. he’s far too scared that even a little movement will shatter the magic holding them together. 

“why haven’t you kissed me then?” she asks and that’s what breaks his restraint.  

her lips are soft on his, so fucking perfect. electricity zings through him at the contact. she kisses him with such reckless abandon that it steals his breath away, makes his heart hammer against his ribcage. and then her fingers tangle themselves into his hair and if matty were to die of shock right now, he couldn’t think of a better way to go. 

i love you he thinks to himself—something that just occurs to him then, hits him like a fucking train but he doesn’t pull back. if anything he kisses her harder and smiles when she gasps into his mouth. 

i love you he thinks again, over and over and over until the thought spreads throughout his whole body. until he can’t help but giggle a little. 

he’s utterly failed his promise, completely decimated it. but out of all the promises he’s kept, this is the one he doesn’t mind breaking. 

lemme know what you think <33

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[abouttofillhisshoes]

What time you coming out? - M.H x Reader // pt.1

A/N: Lenas writer debut??? Omg??? This has a bunch of references to fics like the cellophane house (written by the lovely @vinylandcoffeecollection, srsly check out their work!). It's a bit angsty? Not really but angst will come this is a chaptered fic. Based off fallingforyou, hence the title. Thank you @beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff for beta reading and putting up with me xx

wc: 11k

part two

February, 2008

“I'm not sure we should be doing this, neither of us is a professional hairdresser in any capacity” 

Mötley Crüe’s ‘Public Enemy #1’ blares through the small speaker set on top of the toilet lid, the music reverberating off the bathroom's tiled walls. Matty attempts to brush the bleach onto your hair, narrowly missing your eyebrow for what felt like the sixth time. You'd prefer to not come out of this situation looking like 90s madonna if you could help it. 

“Could you maybe not get the stuff on my face? I'm not sure I'd look as amazing as I do with bleached brows,” you say, flicking Mattys hand away from your hair, straightening your posture on top of the sink. Your elbow accidently knocks into the faucet and you curse out loud. 

“You're right love, you'd look well hideous without brows” Matty retorts, laughing in your face. He's right, doesn't mean he has to say it.

“At least I have any sort of eyebrows, I'd get yours filled in if I was you.” Now it's your turn to laugh at him, his jaw hitting the floor at your comment. He clutches his chest with his hand, bending over for dramatic effect as if to say: “You wound me”. You fall into each other's arms, fighting over the ipod once again.

The song changes, and Matty resumes his attempts at bleaching your hair properly, failing once again. It had been a stupid, stoned impulse decision to buy the bleach at all. The local drugstore sold it for cheap, and you had some pocket change on you. Matty wanted you to buy the red dye, and you dismissed him immediately, because even he knew you'd look absolutely terrible as a redhead. 

You hum along softly to David Bowie's “Suffragette City”. Bowie was your Idol. The song reminds you of him. Of Matty. It reminds you of when you first met.

—------------------------------------------------------

You were 15, pacing the street late at night, your boyfriend was blowing up your phone. Insincere apologies and “i love you”’s filled your screen. 4 missed calls. Tears were streaming down your face, making you not quite able to see straight. 

The song playing, was blaring in your headphones, almost deafening. The song didn't fit at all to your current situation, but that didn't bother you.

It wasn't long before you reached a bus stop, sitting down. You didn't even know where you were. 

Suddenly, like it was out of your control, you let out broken sobs, no longer silently crying. How fucking embarrassing.

You're not sure how long you’d been sitting there, in the dark, shivering in the cruel November weather. 

You hadn't even noticed the person walking up to you. 

He’d positioned himself in front of you, twisting his neck to get a look underneath your hood.

“You alright?” his voice sounded soft, concerned even. Through muffled sobs, you managed to look up at him. 

He had a thick, fluffy jacket on. Oddly feminine for bloke, and you were pretty sure it was a women's coat. It basically swallowed him whole. You almost laughed at the sight. It almost made you forget about the night's events. 

You’d had yet another fight with your boyfriend, Phillip. The two of you fought a lot, but never like this. Sure, he’d said some hurtful things, things you maybe shouldn't have forgiven as quickly as you did, but he had never, ever, gotten violent with you. Until tonight.

You'd barely registered it when it happened, your brain not properly processing his actions. In the midst of his screaming, he raised his hand. Raised. his. hand. 

It came down with a crash against your left cheek, the sound echoing through the house. Because he did, in fact, have his own flat. Because 24 year olds usually have that. 

Everything hit you at once. You'd managed to pick yourself up off the ground at a speed which would have given even world record holders a run for their money. You didn't bother grabbing anything else, you just needed to get out, now. 

You could faintly hear his voice calling out from behind you, begging you to please, please come back. And what? Let him put his hands on you again? No way. A rare moment of clarity.

Fucking cunt 

You’re brought back to reality by the sound of the stranger's voice. 

“I’m Matty.” he offered his hand, and you shook it. “What're you doing out here in the cold? Its fuckin’ freezing.” He's right, it was cold. It hadn't occurred to you to take your coat with you.

You stuttered out a pathetic response of your name, barely making eye contact with him. A few beats pass before Matty starts ruffling around in his coat pockets. Raising your eyebrows, you watch him.

You can hear the faint sound of keys in his right pocket, and it's not long before he pulls out a joint from his left. It looks crumpled and old, like it had been there for a while. 

“Spliff? It looks like you need it more than me.” He chuckles, and it somehow makes you feel better. He makes a move to sit next to you, and you twitch slightly when his shoulder touches yours. The bench is quite narrow, so you know it's not on purpose. It doesn't bother you quite as much as it should, given he is a stranger. 

He takes out his lighter. It looks old and used, the black plastic chipping off around the top. It looks like it's a miracle it even works. You can see white writing along the side of it. M.H. Initials? His initials? Matty H something.  

He starts burning the tip. Rotating the joint to get an even burn, you watch his movements closely, taking in some of his features. 

His hair was curly but frizzy, you could tell he didn't pay it much mind. His features seemed soft, almost feminine. He was clean shaven, his pale skin a stark contrast to the dark brown of his hair. 

Matty lets you take the first drag, stating “The first hit’s the best, and I've always been a gentleman”, flashing a grin your way. That made you laugh. You take a drag, letting the warm feeling spread through your body.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked timidly, his voice lowering. 

“Absolutely not.” You mutter, looking him straight in the eyes for what seems like the first time that night. A smile.  

—-------------------------------------------------------

“D’you think I'd look good as a blonde? I feel like I'd smash it,” Matty says, inspecting his hair in the mirror behind you. He has gorgeous locks, and you're constantly telling him to try and take care of them, he just doesn't listen. You study his features before giving him an answer.

“Maybe. Either that or you'd look like a bad hooker,” Matty gasps, shoving your shoulder in protest. The movement  makes your elbow bang against the faucet again, but you ignore the pain this time 

“I'll let you know i'd make an amazing hooker, thanks very much,” He proclaims quite loudly, making the both of you burst into a laughing fit. 

You take the brush from Matty, twirling in your hand. George had taught you how to do that. An idea pops into your head. 

“We could give you a few blonde highlights, just to try it out. There's no need for you to go full Elle Woods immediately” A giggle escapes your lips, picturing Matty with long, blonde hair. That’d be a sight. 

“Let's do it, right now,” he breathes, visibly excited.

“Really? Adam’d take the absolute piss out of you, you know.” Matty rolls his eyes obnoxiously before he speaks. “Well then let Adam hold on to his toxic ideas of masculinity, I need a change.” This piques your interest. Matty? Need a change? Weird. 

“What, did some bird break your heart this time? That's new, even for you Matthew,”

You can see him visibly cringe at your use of his full name. You know he hates it, and that is exactly why you do it. Getting a rise out of him is your favorite pastime. 

“Switch with me then,” you say, and he obliges, letting you hop off the counter. You mix up a new batch of bleach and part off his hair into small sections. Little pink hair bands hold his curls in place. You shoot him a look and he nods, giving you the go-ahead. The bleach goes on smoothly, your practiced hand much less prone to mistakes than Mattys.

It doesn't take long before you're both sitting on your bed with foils in your hair. You manage to snap a picture of Matty on your polaroid camera. The light reflects off the foils, distorting the picture slightly. Matty demands to see it, but you decide to keep it for yourself. Can't get everything you want.  

It's Mattys' turn on the music. 

You've decided on a turn system for music when you're together, to avoid the gnarly fights you used to have over who gets to control the ipod.

He picks the latest Deftones album. It's not really your taste, and you tell him as much. 

“S’not my fault your music taste consists of pop trash. Get well soon”, now it's your turn to shove him, and he almost falls off the bed. Your fights over music happened frequently. He insisted on listening to real music, while you couldn't care less if it sounded good. 

The timer dings and you both get up to wash your hair in the sink. Water splashes everywhere, absolutely soaking the bathroom. You don't care. It's just water. 

Towels litter the bathroom floor, soaking up the mess. Matty helps you dry your hair after you promise to help with his. The warm air feels nice on your neck. 

“I like it, it makes me look camp,” Matty states, admiring himself in the mirror. Of course he'd say something like that. 

“You look great, now get dressed, I've messaged Hann. He's picking us up at half 11” 

Adam was one of your best mates, and the only one who had a car. You and Matty were still in school, along with George, another one of your friends. Adam and Ross shared a flat on the outskirts of the city. Adam's mother had gifted him a car for his 18th birthday last year. A bright red Kia. Bumper stickers littered the back, your favorite reading ‘Vehicle of legends” 

Matty had borrowed one of your tops, specifically, a mesh top you'd gotten from Hollister a few weeks prior. It was adorned with a black tank top underneath, paired with the black skinny jeans you're convinced have fused with his legs at this point. 

His hair had dried, dark curls now in contrast with blonde streaks. They framed his face. He looked good. 

You’d gone for a more colorful ensemble, opting for baggy jeans instead of skinny ones. The bottom had already been well ripped up from years of dragging them on the ground. You paired said jeans with a wine-red off the shoulder jumper, the black strap of your bralette peaking out. You’d always loved that color. It reminded you of your favorite flowers, red roses.

The window closed softly, and you silently thanked God you lived on the first floor. Adam was already parked down the road from your house, impatiently waiting for the two of you. The radio was playing as you got in. Matty immediately started going on about how pop music has ruined the music scene and how it was all 'soulless, meaningless droning' and 'had no feeling anymore'. He always did this, and you'd learned to tune it out by then. 

The drive was short, and you arrived at your destination not long after you’d set off. The air smelled like water and wet pavement. It had been pissing down earlier in the day.  

‘The spot’ was an abandoned paper factory, affectionately renamed “Caroline's house” for any eavesdropping parents.  

Carolines had been abandoned for well over 5 years before you started hanging out there, not many knew about it.

The three of you had already made your way through the back entrance. The front had been blocked off years ago, a futile attempt at keeping kids out. There was one specific room you always went to, and that was the office. It had a huge terrace with an amazing view of the city below. The glowing lights made you feel small and irrelevant in the vastness of the world. 

The night was bright under the full moon, making it easy to see outside. Adam always brought an emergency flashlight with him when you went to Carolines. He was the voice of reason in the midst of the chaos. The responsible one. He always made sure everyone got home safe, talked your way out of situations with coppers on multiple occasions, and knew when to tell the bartender to switch drinks to water or juice. You’d always thank him the morning after. 

“What even is your shirt, mate,” Adam asked with a grin on his face. He loved to take the piss out of Matty for his camp-ness. No harm no foul, Matty would do the exact same to him when the opportunity presented itself. Eyeing him up and down, he shook his head and went back to picking at his nails.   

“She let me borrow it for tonight. Looks good, yeah?” Matty shoots back. 

“Yeah sure, that and those white streaks in your hair make you look like a proper girl, you know” 

You have to laugh at his statement, because it does ring true. From a certain distance, anyone could mistake Matty for a woman. 

“You wish I was a girl, it’d make you feel less guilty about your sex fantasies, innit?” Matty cackles at his own words. Adam chucks a lighter at him, and misses. It instead bounces off the railing of the terrace and clatters down onto the ground somewhere behind you. 

That was your cue to take out the small baggy from the pocket of your jeans. Going to look for the lighter Adam had just thrown, you turn around to see he’d already snatched your papes and weed, and started to roll a spliff. 

“Oh come on, I look away for a second and you steal my weed. What, are you too broke to buy your own?” You huffed, sitting down on the floor next to him. 

“Girls don't roll their own spliffs. You should know that by now, love” he said with a wink. 

Cue eye roll. 

“Oh thank you so much, what would I ever do without you, Hann? Fuck off.” you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm. This was never a display of chivalry, it was simply Adams' way of trying to get under your skin. Your stubborn self wouldn't let him, of course. Flashing him an award winning smile, you lay back on your elbows and eye him as he rolls your joint for you. 

Matty was preoccupied with gathering enough cardboard so he could sit on the floor comfortably. The three of you couldn't be arsed bringing in furniture from the office, so you were left with the cold, unforgiving concrete floor of the terrace to sit on. 

The minutes ticked by and Adam took his sweet time, presenting the spliff with a look of pride. You reach for it, seeing as you already had the lighter in your hand. Instead of handing it to you. Adam shakes his head. 

“Girls dont light their own spliffs, either” You scoff at that, though deciding against smacking him upside the head. You hand him the lighter.  

Mattys giggles can be faintly heard over your bickering, and Adam finally lights up. The distinct earthy smell fills up the air around you. They both let you have the first drag, stating something along the lines of “Ladies first” another eye roll.  

“Fucking wankers”, you mutter under your breath, and finally, you inhale. It hits you almost immediately, a soft, fuzzy feeling that reverberates through your veins into every inch of your body. The two of them let out a laugh at your expression, utterly euphoric. 

Adam takes the next drag, hitting him just as hard as it did you. He leans against the glass sliding door, letting his eyes droop closed. 

“Fucking hell, this is some strong weed.” He lets out a rough cough, “Where’d you even get it from?” 

“Oh y’know, just some guy. Same as always I s’pose,” 

Matty spoke “What, d’you shag him or something? No one just gives out this type of premium stuff on a whim,” 

This makes you chuck the grinder at him. It hits him square in the chest. You hum contentedly, grinning at him in amusement when he doubles over in pain. You bicker back and forth, calling each other names. Adam passes the spliff back to you, and you take another hit. 

Time passes slowly. The clouds slowly reveal more and more of the full moon. It is quite beautiful tonight, you notice. 

Adam produces a bottle of tequila from his ‘gay-ass tote bag’ as Ross calls it. You take turns taking swigs straight from the bottle, Matty managing to spill some onto his mesh top, making quite literally everything reek of alcohol.

You felt good. The high mixed with the healthy amount of tequila made you feel like you were floating. You could tell Matty was just as hammered as you, seeing as he was now straddling Adams lap, trying to kiss him. 

After multiple attempts at getting him off, Matty stood up on his own, stating that he didn't want Hann to pop a boner au cause de his womanly features.   

The three of you laugh and laugh until you finish the spliff. You’d never had a good tolerance for anything, whether it be weed or alcohol. You weren't particularly small, it just always hit you way harder than Adam or Ross. Even Matty managed to pull himself together when the situation called for it. You, however, were stumbling and tripping over your feet the entire walk home. It had been pissing down the entire morning. Puddles littered the streets, not an ideal weather for someone who was too wasted to even have any sort of depth perception.  

Adam had to leave suddenly, picking up a last minute shift at the shop he worked at. It was in the opposite direction of where you came from, leaving you and Matty to walk home. 

It wasn't a long walk, 30 odd minutes or so. It was made significantly longer by your inability to walk in a straight line to save your life. Echoing laughs filled the streets as Matty helped you trudge along. Your pants dragged on the floor as usual, which meant they were also dragging through the numerous puddles, soaking them. 

You stop suddenly, looking down and pouting at the darkened material of your pants. For some inexplicable reason, this made you stomp your feet like a child. Matty broke out in uncontrollable laughter, tears forming in his eyes. You were actually acting like a child.

“I don't know why you insist on wearing those insanely baggy pants. Look at me! My pants don't get wet AND my ass looks phenomenal in skinny jeans” He twirls around you, making you feel slightly dizzy.

“Oh fuck off!! Not everyone is an attention slag like you, have some decency for once in your life!” You retort, shoving him out of your line of sight. Due to your state, Matty quickly catches up to you. 

The steps of your house come quicker than expected. Both of you make your way to the east side of the first floor, where your bedroom window remains slightly ajar. You'd wedged an old shirt between it to keep it from closing all the way. You'd gotten sneaking out down to an art, always knowing when, where and how. Your mother had caught you once. It was your first time. You knew not to make those same mistakes again.

Matty helped you hop onto the windows ledge, his hands grabbing at your sides. While he looked frail, Matty was actually quite strong, lifting you up without breaking a sweat. 

You're sitting on the edge, slightly taller than him now. Peering down, you reach your arms out. The two of you hugged tightly, whispering quiet “goodnight”s and “sleep well”s. Saying goodbye after a night out often felt strangely melancholic, you never wanted the other to leave. 

You've been attached at the hip since that night. He’d convinced you to break up with Phillip, stating he was a bastard who shouldn't be allowed near women ever again.

Matty went on to introduce you to his mates after you’d found out you went to the same highschool. That was nearly 3 years ago now. 

Late nights often make you wonder what would have happened if you hadn't gone to that specific bus stop and met Matty. If he had ignored your crying instead of offering you weed and sitting down next to you. He’d always been charming, like a magnet, he attracted everyone around him. Sure, he was a bit pretentious at times, but everyone has their faults. 

You roll over and try to sleep, slowly coming down from your high. You made a mental note to take it easy next time, maybe pace yourself. It was hard to know your limits when it came to substances, and Matty was the same way. Adam was the ever responsible one, never too drunk or high, always the parent. You were grateful for him, knowing what situations you'd be stuck in if Adam had not been there to smooth things over. 

The tiredness hits you in waves. Glancing at the clock left of your desk, it read 3:26 am. Fuck. You try to ignore the fact that you had to be up in about 4 hours. You close your eyes, welcoming the rest. 

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A harsh knocking sounded from the direction of your window, scaring the shit out of you. You bolt up, pissed at the disturbance. Turning to face the window, and are met with a familiar grin. Matty. 

It takes all of 5 seconds of him being in your room before you start cursing at him for waking you up like that. He simply shrugs his shoulders and sits in his designated chair. A maroon sofa chair in the corner in front of your bed. It even has M.H carved into the wood, because Matty had some sort of fetish for carving his initials into things. A sign of ownership? It made you wonder. 

Shuffling around the room, you kick your still wet jeans off into the corner, instead picking up a denim skirt. You’d wanted to wear that same red top to school, but seeing as you had fallen asleep wearing it, you chucked it into the same corner as the pants. 

A pink baby tee caught your eye from the chair Matty was sitting in. You silently point at it and he passes it to you. This isn't the first time you've changed in front of him. It didn't happen often, but what was the point of kicking him out? It's not like he was actively staring anyway.

After quickly changing, you go to put on some makeup. Makeup made you feel pretty, pretty enough to go outside. The only person who sees your bare face regularly is Matty. Maybe George. You didn't go anywhere without it.

You can feel Matty looking at you from the corner of your eye. Raising your eyebrows at him, you ask him what he's staring at. 

“D’you reckon i can try some of that?” he gestures vaguely at the eyeshadow brush in your hand “I think i’d look class with my new highlights.” he twirls his hair around his finger, giving you a look.

You look at him skeptically, before breaking out into a smile. Matty smiles back. It's not long before he’s sat in front of you, wincing whenever the brush makes contact with his eyelid. You tell him hes just not used to it, and to just stay still, for fucks sake. 

Once you're done, you take a step back to admire your work. You have to admit, he looks good. Really good. His eyes were lined with a dark purple shadow, making them appear slightly bigger. He takes his fingers, slightly smudging the out corners, giving him a catty look. 

“I think you might even look even better than me,” you say, looking him up and down. This is one of those rare moments where you can't read Mattys' expression at all. Finally, he opens his mouth

“No one could look better than you, trust me,”  

A beat of silence before he speaks again

“I do look ravishing though, d’you reckon Adam'll like this more than the highlights?” He always manages to make himself laugh. Then in typical Matty fashion, he pulls out a beat up looking joint from the pocket of his too tight jeans. 

“Fancy a spliff?” 

“Matty, for christ's sake, we have school in about an hour, and you want to smoke now?” 

“It's the only true way to get through Mr. Henderson's maths class, you know it'll be unbearable if we don't.” translation: please smoke with me. He gives you a look, because you know he's right. 

It was too late to protest. He’d already made his way to open your window, knowing how much you hate stinking up your room.

An exasperated sigh leaves your lips, and you find your place next to him. 

The wind and rain had calmed down, so Matty had no difficulty lighting it. The smell filled your senses, almost overwhelming you. You were thankful for the fresh air.

He placed the spliff between your lips, watching you intently as you inhaled. Your orange lip gloss had rubbed off the filter, and transferred onto his lips. The weed wasnt as strong as last nights, but still, the sight of Mattys glossed lips made you break out into a fit of giggles. Time seemed irrelevant up until the point you had to run to catch your bus. Sweaty and out of breath, you sat down in your usual spot. 

You can hear comments and insults being thrown at Matty from the back of the bus, but neither of you paid much mind. Matty was high as a kite, and too loopy (hungover) from the previous night to offer up one of his witty retorts. Instead, both of you gave them the bird from over the seat.

Matty was leaning against you, his arms hooked into yours. Neither of you spoke, listening to the soft rumbling of the bus. You stank of weed, anyone could smell it on you. Remembering a perfume bottle in your handbag, you take it out and douse yourself, as well as Matty in it. 

“Oh for fucks sake, now everything smells like Jimmy Choo Illicit!” Matty whined, burying his head in his hands. “Couldn't you have picked a manlier perfume? I'm already walking a very thin line with all of this” He vaguely gestures to himself. 

“Would you rather get kicked out after coming to school smelling like a fucking dispensary? Think ahead, Matthew!” He cringes visibly

“No need to get out the full government name, jesus” he shuffles up against you, and you can see his eyes are a light shade of red. There's no way the two of you would get through first lesson unnoticed. 

George was already waiting for you guys at your stop. Greeting him with a hug, you try to avoid eye contact, yet somehow, he knows. 

“Hey, you alright-?” He cranes his neck to get a better look at your face 

“Are you–? Are you high??” He laughs out loud, smacking your arm to stabilize himself. You shoot him a death stare, but you can feel a laugh coming too. Matty let out a sarcastic haha before kicking George as a way to say get on with it, we have class.

The walk to the room through the sea of people in the halls feels like a claustrophobic hell. B.O ridden teenagers rub up against the three of you, some even (quite violently) shoving past. 

It's a miracle you make it without Matty losing his mind at one of the hecklers. School was actual hell for Matty, and by proxy, you. Insults were thrown at him without a second thought, and the makeup he’d adorned today surely didn't help the comments.

He never let it truly get to him. He didn't care, and that's what you loved so much about him. This part of the city was set back about fifteen years in terms of acceptance and progressivity, so his flowery backpack and femininity wasn't exactly welcomed.

Adam had always taken the piss out of him for his outfits since they were boys, but he never, ever meant it seriously. They were like brothers, those two, and no amount of shit from other people (irrelevants, as Matty would put it) would be able to break them apart. 

The way the room was set up, there were six tables of four, with two people always facing another two. You had sat in the seat next to George, with Matty sitting (well, more like laying) across the other two chairs opposite you. Mr. Henderson had given up on trying to get Matty to sit right a long time ago, instead just flat out ignoring him. It was always easier to fail than to teach. 

“Fucking poofter, that one,” you can hear someone saying from behind you. You know they mean Matty. 

Matty blows them both a kiss before getting flipped off by the shorter one. He loved taking the piss out of the people who insulted him, throwing them off. 

George questions mattys makeup, and you tell him it was his idea. George had always supported Matty, using his insanely tall stature to fend off anyone giving him a hard time. 

The lesson was going by at a snail's pace, with Matty being his usual self, interrupting at every possible moment. It was so obvious he was off his tits, and Mr. Henderson looked suspicious. A particularly loud laugh from George had prompted him to throw you all out. You couldn't care less, getting up immediately.

Matty picked up his things from the floor, making a show out of bending over in front of the two boys that had insulted him earlier. They both scrunch their faces in disgust, muttering under their breaths. A giggle escapes you as they stare daggers.

“Fucking cunt,” one of them says, and now it’s your turn to blow them a kiss. 

The three of you trudge down the halls, slowly but surely coming down from your highs. George suggests going to Ross and Adams flat, seeing as it's just a few bus stops away from the school. They share a flat above a Sainsburys, which is optimal for late night munchies. Adam even works there, so there's always opportunities to sneak a packet of crisps or a can of cola. 

The bus stinks of sweat and mildew, as did all buses in britain. You get used to the stench after a while, your legs propped up onto George and Mattys laps. The back seat was always your favorite, giving you ample space to stretch a bit. You and George share headphones while Matty takes a quick power nap. He always lets you pick the music, and today it was Radioheads ‘No Surprises’. The music plays softly as buildings and trees pass by the window. The day was quite sunny, the light reflecting off of the windows of houses and offices. You'd sobered up enough to be able to think clearly by now. 

These days were the best. They felt calm, like you could forget every other fucked up thing in your life. Your mother, your coursework. Nothing else existed in your little bubble except the people you were with. It felt peaceful, like a breath of fresh air. 

Matty stirred awake as the bus halted to a stop, yawning for dramatic effect. He loved to exaggerate, ever the performer. George was the quiet, brooding type, trying desperately to go unnoticed, which proved rather difficult. Although he was barely coming up on his 18th birthday, he had grown to a staggering 6 '4, with a voice at least 3 or so octaves deeper than Mattys. 

It had proven useful, you aways had someone to send into the smoke shop to buy fags or liquor, even if it always took a pep talk to even get him through the front door. George was convinced he didn't look older, even though he had never been carded. Ever. 

Usually it was Adam who bought it for you, even though both Matty and Ross were also already 18. Matty had already been banned from most liquor stores in the area, so he proved rather useless in situations needing a bit of booze. 

Mattys violent knocks against the flat door brought you back to reality

“C’MON OPEN UP ITS US,” his voice booms through the hallway. You can hear banging and shuffling coming from the other side of the door. It's so obviously Ross bumping into every available surface because he hadn't turned on the light yet. He was an avid day sleeper, mostly working night shifts. A particularly loud crash is followed by glass breaking. 

Matty taps his foot impatiently, waiting for the door to finally open. Ross emerges, looking disgruntled and tired of Mattys shit. 

“Mate, tell me, what possessed you to come knocking about at this hour, don't you have school-? I swear you're going to be the end of me one day” he rubs his eyes, getting the sleep out of them before moving out of the way to let the three of you in. 

“First of all, it's like 11am, so not exactly the ungodly hour you were describing,” Matty starts “Second of all, we’ve been kicked out of class, so where better to come than here?” 

The inside of the flat reeks of cigarettes and laundry detergent. Ross refuses to smoke on the terrace, deeming it too cold even in the middle of summer. Adam always smokes on the terrace, scared of staining the walls like in those addiction documentaries. A futile attempt, but at least he tries. Matty immediately lights a fag, sighing happily when the nicotine hit his system. School had always been an endurance test for him. Getting him to sit still for 2 hours without going for a cigarette proved nearly impossible. He was already itching by the 45 minute mark.

“What did you even do to get kicked out before 12?” He looks at George, who tells him exactly what happened with tears of laughter in his eyes. Matty rolls his before sitting down on the comforter located to the left of the TV, ashing into one of the various ashtrays situated around the house. George sits on the sofa next to Ross, and you make your way to your favorite spot, the table. Sitting cross legged on the table made you all face each other, which you quite liked. 

“Brew?” George asks, looking up from his Ipod. Everyone nods, and he gets up to put on the kettle. Idle conversation fills the air, and Matty starts chatting about the new “groundbreaking” Metallica album. Matty was, if anything, a music snob. No one could stop him raving on about albums or artists, whether he was praising or criticizing them. Once he started, you couldn't stop him to save your life.

Minutes tick past when George brings back mugs of tea. Mattys mug has got the words “I ❤️ cum” on it. Ross has his usual Macclesfield Town mug, and you and George have the plain green ones Adam bought in an attempt to make the flat seem somewhat civilized. 

Hours pass and Matty finally shuts up. You end up on top of him, sitting on the arms of the comforter. You're all watching Skins on the telly, and Mattys hand makes its way to your back, keeping you steady. He’d always been touchy like that, so it didn't bother you. You look at the sofa and see Ross passed out, drooling onto George's jumper. George, polite as ever, lets him sleep. It was a miracle Ross hadn't started snoring already. 

You suggest to Matty that maybe it was time to get going, seeing as you lived on the other side of the city. George's place was right around the corner, so he decided to stay and look after Ross a bit before Adam got home from his shift. Britain's sweetheart. 

Getting up as quietly as possible, making your way towards the door. Ross stirs as Matty almost knocks over his mug. The two of you make eye contact, silently laughing at Ross’ position, basically on top of George. He flipped you off, rolling his eyes and reaching for the remote, turning down the telly.

It was still fairly dark inside, so gathering everything proved a bit of a challenge. The curtains were drawn shut, the yellow material of them painting the house in a warm yellow hue. 

You had spotted Mattys flowery bag in the corner next to the stove, and grabbed it along with a bottle of cola that was set on top of the kitchen counter. Hydration was important, after all, even if you knew Adam would be livid that you were stealing his shit again. What are mates for?    

Matty grabbed both of your coats, mouthing “lets go,” before making his way towards the front door. 

The bright light of the hallway burns your eyes. How do they survive coming out here when that fucking flat is always so dark? You think to yourself. You wonder if Ross has a vitamin D deficiency from the inherent lack of sunshine in his life, yourself excluded. 

The bus ride home is rowdier, filled with kids from surrounding schools. The both of you hid in a corner towards the front, away from the dickheads that usually sat in the back row. You were both too tired to deal with anyone but each other. 

He was right, everything did smell like jimmy choo now, and maybe you shouldn't have sprayed so much. 

His hand wanders to his eyes, rubbing a bit of the eyeshadow off.

“Does it still look alright?” he asks, looking up from your lap. It had smudged a bit, melted off after a full day of wear. It's not like you used your expensive waterproof stuff, after all.

“You look fine, pretty actually,” You give him a tired smile, stroking his hair absentmindedly 

“Can you even call a guy pretty? Isn't that, like, inherently degrading?” Matty mutters, a grin spreading onto his face. 

“It's only degrading if you let it be. You Matthew Healy, are pretty. Pretty like a girl” 

A laugh escapes you, imagining Matty as a woman. Knowing him, he’d be into it. 

“Does it bother you? Y’know, me being feminine and wearing makeup.” The question surprises you. It's a rare thing seeing Matty this vulnerable. He doesn't care what other people think, but he does care what you think. 

“You know I don't care, I actually prefer you this way.” you assure him.

“Though it's still my mission to convince you that the backpack is not the move you think it is.” 

That earns you a frown from Matty. “It is! I'll let you know the lady at the store told be it very in this time of year” its always funny watching him get defensive over his fashion choices, even if he knows he’s fucked up and its hideous. 

“Yeah maybe it's trendy... for 8 year old girls! But you do you mate, don't let me judge you,” that gets you an elbow to the gut. 

The walk home is one you always take together. Arms hooked into each other, walking, sharing headphones. It's your turn on the music, putting on ‘This Charming Man’ by the smiths. 

“You know, Morrissey sort of reminds me of you. You're really similar in your campness”  Matty choked on air, shooting you a faux offended look. 

“Did you seriously call Morrissey camp? He'd have your head for that.” 

“You're both attention slags, so there's at least one similarity.” Matty doesn't say anything, knowing your words do, in fact, ring true. Matty loves attention, and man, is good at getting it. 

He draws people to him like moths to a flame. Always the loudest, always the most interesting. 

That one saying; “You can't be the prettiest girl at the party, but you always be the drunkest” is a personification of Matty. He tips back wine glass after wine glass, not caring about the stains on his shirt or the red ring around his lips. He then makes it a poor Hanns job to make sure he doesnt get into a scrap with three much bigger guys (which actually did happen last summer outside of a pub in london. Matty got out scot free, while Adam nearly suffered a heart attack). 

You hug Matty goodbye, giving him a peck on the cheek. 

You always dreaded coming home. 

They say your biggest critic is your mind, but yours was your mother. You knew she had already gotten a call from the school saying you cut class. The moment you stepped into the living room, the yelling started. “How can you do this” and “What are you even doing with your life” turned into “Look at yourself, you look like a whore and you're going to school like that?” or “Were you out with that little gay boyfriend of yours again?”

You try to tune it out, not letting it get to you. She's been like that for as long as you can remember, never letting up for even just a second. You weren't the best kid, but she sure isn't helping you “get on the right track” as she liked to say.

Tears well up in your eyes when you finally shut your bedroom door. Your first instinct is to call Matty. He picks up after two rings, immediately hearing the quiver in your voice. 

He tells you he’ll be there as soon as he can. 

Minutes pass by slowly until you hear a familiar, although uncharacteristically soft, knock at your window. Matty.

Your puffy eyes meet his and he can tell you’d been crying. No words were exchanged as he took you into your arms, his hands soothingly stroking your hair as you let out muffled sobs into his chest. It broke his fucking heart to see you like this. You were extensions of each other, the others' pain was always your own.    

“It's all so shit. Why cant she just be normal one fucking time.” your voice audibly shakes, partially out of anger and partially out of exasperation. 

“I know i suck, I know I'm a bad daughter but-,” Matty cuts you off. “You’re fucking amazing, you know that?” His words only make you cry harder. 

He holds you close, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, the sound of his voice similar to the way he spoke to you that night. His hands feel cold against your skin, and you know he’d rushed to your house without grabbing his coat. You look up at him, seeing his hair was unruly, curls falling into his face. The blonde highlights littered his dark hair and he ran his hand through them, brushing them to the side to get a better look at you. 

“D’you want to sit down? We can listen to music. Whatever you want, and won't even comment on how shit it is, promise,” He knew you didn't want to talk about it then, you never did.  

You sit in silence, your face still in his chest, staining the light blue material of his shirt. You quietly apologize, knowing how much he loves that shirt. He tells you to shut up, and that it didn't matter. 

He had gotten it in Barcelona at some tourist shop for 50 quid. Insane price for a tshirt that just said “Barcelona” on it, but he held it dear to his heart. It reminded him of his childhood summers. 

“There's a bottle of um…,” you trail off, gesturing to the second drawer of your nightstand. Matty understands, and reaches over you to open it. The drawer is filled with half eaten granola bars, bracelets, jewelry, the odd vape for when it was too cold to go outside. Matty always took the piss out of you for having them, saying they were ‘so fucking girly it hurt’. After a second of rummaging, he took out a half drunk bottle of Bacardi. It always sat in your nightstand for when you needed it, and you definitely needed it now. 

“Only you'd have a giant bottle of rum in your nightstand,” Matty says softly, searching your expression. The corners of your mouth tug upwards at his words, and you crack a smile.   

He opens it for you, and grabs an abandoned cup from your desk. The cup he had gifted you on your 17th birthday. It was covered in flowers and stars, very Matty. Very you. Pouring a healthy amount into the glass, he hands it to you.  

“To shitty situations” He raises it, clinking it against your cup. He takes a swig straight from the bottle. You down the whole thing in one go, wincing as the alcohol burns down your throat. 

“You feel better?” he asks, pouring more into your cup. You nod, before taking another drink. “I just need to get drunk and forget,” you sigh. Matty starts to speak again.

“That's an unhealthy way to go about it. Soon enough I'll be picking you up from corners because you can't handle your liquor. It's a recipe for alcoholism, innit?” you cackle at his words prompting Matty to raise his eyebrows at you.  

“Oh come off it!,” How many times have you been so drunk you couldn't find your own dick if you tried. Sort yourself out before criticizing my drinking habits.” you scoff  

You decide ‘Wonderwall’ by Oasis is the right soundtrack for the night. You lay down next to Matty, your shoulders and thighs touching each other. You look up fondly at the dozens of yellow stars littering your ceiling. Reminiscent of your early childhood, you couldn't bear to take them down. You still felt like a child, your heart yearning for the same innocence you no longer possessed. A distinct naïveté you missed dearly. After your breakup with Phillip you'd realized that the world wasn't all it was cut out to be. People wanted, and they took. It didn't matter to them if they hurt others, because as long as they were satiated, nothing else mattered. 

You turn to your left, draping your arm over Mattys stomach. He let out a deep breath, raising his right arm to draw light circles onto your back. His nails had grown out longer than usual, but the sharpness of them was comforting through the thin material of your tank top. The edge of your small twin bed dug into your back. 

The two of you laid like that for hours before sleep took over your body. The stars on the ceiling blurred as your eyes started to shut. You let out a soft hum, settling into Matty even more, holding him close.

You don't know how long he stayed, but he was gone when you woke up. You feel a sticky note attached to your forehead, the glue rubbing off on your skin. You could barely read Mattys erratic handwriting. The note read: you fell asleep, hope your hangover isn't as bad as mine. left you some Advil on your dresser xx. 

Your hand reached next to you, feeling two tablets. You wash them down with water from the sink. Your cell phone lights up with a text from George 

“We’re meeting at Hanns flat, be there in 30,”

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The windows were rolled up, trapping the smoke inside. Your eyes were glazed over, barely able to make out Ross’ face in front of you. Watching as Matty took another hit, you made a ‘give it here’ motion at the zoot, prompting him to hand it to you. Rhianna blared through the radio, a far cry from Adams usual taste in music, but no one seemed to care. Even Matty had managed to keep his mouth shut, instead moving his head in time with the music. 

Adam was sitting in the driver's seat, as always. He’d never let anyone else drive his girl, not even Ross. He was insanely protective over his car, even if it was an old piece of junk. 

George was in the passenger seat, holding a pink, polka dotted ashtray in his hand. The colorful ceramic proved quite the contrast against his dark clothes and messy blonde hair. It was a gift from his older sister, and the only ashtray he ever used. 

You were perched in the middle seat, your elbows on the console between Adam and George. Matty sat on your right, and Ross on your left.  

“No joke, I once had a bird offer to give me a footjob. Can you imagine that?” Adam spoke loudly, almost too loud. Ross let out a disgusting snort, the mental image of Adam getting a footjob making him properly lose it. You make a face. 

“That can't feel good at all, innit? Aren't the soles of feet rough?” you ponder. “Only if you have George's hobbit feet, that is,” Matty said, ducking to avoid yet another lighter being chucked at him. You were going to run out of lighters at this rate. 

“I'll show you hobbit feet you fucking cunt,” George retorted, sticking out his tongue like a child.

“I had a girl once who wanted me to properly bite down on her nipples, like hard. Can't imagine how much that would've hurt.” you share. She’d been quite the odd one up until she was in your bed, so you were already expecting some sort of weird kink. Nipple biting was definitely not on that list. Not that you were kink shaming.  

George spoke first: “What d’you mean girl? You're telling me you've been with girls?” You raise your eyebrows at him. “Erm, yeah? Didn't I tell you-?” Everyone shook their heads except Matty. You had already told him this story months before, the both of you laughing at your misfortune. Smiling at the fond memory, you meet Ross’ eye. 

“We didn't know you were like, proper gay,” he says quietly, not wanting to sound abrasive. You suck in a deep breath before answering. “I'm not proper anything, and besides,” you point at Matty sitting next to you, “This one’s snogged loads of blokes.”  A collective “What???” fills the car, with everyone's eyes now on Matty. 

“What if I have? It's not my job to notify you of all my sexual endeavors, innit?” Matty looks slightly uncomfortable, giving you a look. You frown at him, and he shakes his head. Slight signs of a smile linger on his face. It's fine he mouths at you, resting his arm on your shoulder. 

The three of them talk loudly over each other, with Ross asking some very explicit questions on the mechanics of gay sex. 

“How do you even, like, properly shag? It's not like you have anything you can shove into the other girl,” Jesus christ. 

Matty taps Ross’ shoulder, bringing the attention to his hands. He brings them up to his mouth, sticking his tongue out between the V-shape his fingers had made. Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, the whole demonstration makes Ross visibly cringe. 

The car suddenly starts. Adam makes the short drive to Carolines, stating that the hotbox was getting to be too much for him. George has a go at his age, calling him an old man. Hann was in fact, about 2 and a half years older than George, and a solid year older than the rest of you. Old man was right. 

You had rolled down the window on Mattys side, hoping some fresh air would help Adams driving skills. The erratic swerving had begun to make you sick. 

Finally trugding up the stairs to the terrace, Matty says something about it being too fucking cold. Ross says “That's the price of being built like a male Kate Moss,” and Matty nearly shoves him down the stairs. 

It is colder than usual, and you had opted for a dark gray zip up, the material hugging you tightly. You were pretty sure it was Mattys. A pair of green wash jeans hung low, revealing the lightning bolt tattoo on your right hip bone. It was a copy of Bowie's on the cover of ‘Aladdin Sane’. You had gotten it done by another one of your mates, Rome, who was an aspiring tattoo artist. It looked a bit shit, the lines slightly crooked, but it was yours. 

You had convinced George and Ross to carry the sofa from the office onto the terrace. They were the tallest and strongest, and Mattys arms would have snapped like twigs if he tried to carry anything, you said to them. George laughed his octave defying laugh, while Ross let out an annoyed grunt, shoving past you. 

Adam was right behind them, carrying a small wooden coffee table. “For you- I know how much you hate sofas,” he says quietly. You called him a softy, but inevitably thanked him for bringing it out. He had his rare sweet moments, and you appreciate them 

Once you had all settled, you took out your tobacco and papes, starting to roll your first cigarette of the night. You honestly needed a break from all the weed, because jesus. 

Matty let out a groan, taking the piss out of you for bringing all that instead of just buying industrials. 

“I know you think you're better than us for rolling, it's quite pretentious.” he sucks in a breath before talking, moving his hands erratically “Don't tell me it ‘tastes better’ because that's simply bollocks, it all tastes the same!” 

“Pretentious? Her? That's rich coming from someone who raves on about William Burroughs like anyone knows who is!” Matty looks hurt, and you give Ross a look that says you really don't know who William Burroughs is?

The conversation continued without you, too preoccupied with rolling to add anything. All was well until George decided to open his giant mouth again. 

“If you're not fully gay,” he started, “how do we know you're not secretly crushing on any of us?” he raised his eyebrows, looking at you expectantly.

You let out a snort, it slowly morphing into laughter until you look at him, his expression deadly serious. 

“You can’t actually mean that?” your voice is slightly hoarse. “For all we know, you could be harboring secret affection for Matty with the amount of times you’ve slept in the same bed.” 

Mattys perks up at this, shooting George a glare that could kill a man. He told him??? 

You don't know what came over you. Maybe it was the weed, maybe you were just groggy from the lingering hangover. You lick the cig closed, setting down next to the others. Uncrossing your legs, you get up and walk towards Matty. You can see the grin plastered onto his face, and he is definitely not sober.

You stumbled over Adam's foot, kicking it out of the way. Ross moved away from Matty, giving you some space. 

The terrace was dark, but the moonlight illuminated some of Mattys features. Specifically, his eyes. They seemed to glow, following your every step toward him. I'll show you secret affection you thought to yourself when your hand made contact with Mattys face. The stubble on his chin scratched your fingers. He never could grow a beard, and the faint shadow was as long as it would get. 

He sat with his legs spread, skin peaking out through the single rip in his jeans. His arms rested on the sofas back, splaying out to the side. He wore a black v-line jumper, the knit of it almost see-through.  

The makeup from the previous day was still smudged on his face, giving him a rockstar-esque look. The eyeshadow framed his eyes, glittering in the faint light. Your hands cupped his face, lightly stroking his jaw. The grin had been wiped off his face the moment you had settled between his legs, kneeling on the edge of the sofa. 

You didn't think, just moved, your lips smashing against each other. It seemed to take Matty by surprise, and it even took him a second before he kissed you back. One thing nagged at you. Why did you like it?

There was no time to think when you heard George wolf whistle at the both of you. 

You want a show, I'll give you a show you thought, slipping in your tongue and taking over the kiss. He seemed into it, but then again, Matty would fuck anything with a pulse. You smile against his mouth at the thought. It suddenly felt hot, even though you were outside. His hand snaked its way into your hair, tugging slightly. This didn't feel platonic. Was it?

“Alright, alright, we didn't sign up for a porno,” Ross says, his hand covering his mouth. You were the one who broke the kiss. Matty let out a soft groan when you parted, loud enough for only you to hear. His eyes pierced yours, and you moved to get off of him. 

Your heart thrummed against your ribcage, and you felt dizzy. What the fuck?

You wiped your mouth, your lipgloss having smeared all over your face. Wiping the back of your sticky hand against the sofa, you turned and walked back to your spot on the table. 

“See! Absolutely no ‘secret affection’ as George so kindly put it.” you say to the group, going back to your pile of fags, taking one and lighting it. If you had looked at Matty instead of being preoccupied with Hanns bickering about the prissy new manager, you would have noticed a faint shade of red caressing his cheeks. He felt around for his own cigarettes, and took out a pack of parliaments. Spotting the lighter next to you, he reached for it, lighting the cig as he inhaled the smoke eagerly.

It was already half two when the five of you finally piled back into Hanns car. The prominent stench of weed made you scrunch up your nose. You decide to light a cigarette in the car despite various protests and threats to your life if you even dared to ash onto the leather seats. Switching seats with Matty, you ash out the window instead, resting your head against the rim of the car. 

Ross and George were having yet another meaningless debate on whether mixing ketchup and mayo was a cardinal sin or totally acceptable. Every other word was an insult, and you knew they would never come to an agreement, ever.

You had already established that you’d be sleeping over at Mattys, saving Adam time and petrol not having to drive both of you home separately. Denise and Tim were out on a press tour, so he had the house to himself. 

His room was dark, the curtains drawn shut. If you knew Matty, you knew he hated the big light with a burning passion. Instead, a small lamp was turned on in the corner, illuminating the various posters that littered his wall. Band posters, prints, tapestries, the occasional quote. Everything screamed Matty

His room was filled with so much music. CD’s, vinyls, even the odd cassette tape. His purple record player sat on top of a dresser next to his desk, surrounded by various small trinkets of his. It was his prized possession, a gift from his mother for his 14th birthday.  

You had already helped yourself to a cola from his fridge downstair. His house was huge, way bigger than your own. Your parents weren't actors, after all. The walls of his room were stained towards the corners, just another side effect of Mattys near constant chain smoking. His bed was big, and you both fit comfortably on it. The wardrobe next to it had a pile of your own clothes in it, but none to sleep in. Your eyes dart around the room looking for one of his to wear, landing on his bright pink durex t-shirt. He had worn it once to school, promptly getting kicked out of literature class by a very conservative Mrs. Sexton.

Soft music was playing in the background as you unloaded your bag onto Matty’s insanely cluttered desk. Out came multiple pens, makeup, not one, not two, but three lighters, and finally, makeup wipes.    

You sat on the ground in front of his full length mirror, wiping at your eyes and face. Matty was making the bed, giving the both of you each your own duvet, a must after too many fights over the blanket. You weren't a peaceful sleeper, constantly tossing and turning, occasionally even kicking Matty in the back. 

Washing your face, you hear the bathroom door click open. Matty went and sat on the closed toilet lid next to you.

“Hand me my toothbrush, will you? And some toothpaste.” he asked, stretching his hand out. You do, even wetting the toothbrush for him. 

He sat there, brushing his teeth and flipping through a recent issue of playboy while you put moisturizer on, and then a serum. 

“I dont get how you can be arsed to put all that shit on your face, it takes way too long,” his comment makes you roll your eyes at him in the reflection. 

“Not everyone is naturally blessed with clear skin like you, people like me have to put effort into their appearance, knobhead.” A wave of insecurity hits you as you inspect the acne on your face. 

You had been a chronic face picker in your early teenage years, and the consequences of that were gnarly acne scars covering most of your face. They were not prominent, but they were there. 

Matty was fortunate enough to have had maybe three zits ever, his clear skin the stuff of dreams. 

Matty watches you pick yourself apart in the mirror. He hated when you did that. It made his heart ache in his chest. He wished you could see what he saw. What did he see?

“You’re quite beautiful, really,” he says, making eye contact with you through the mirror. You’re taken aback, not quite sure how to respond. You open your mouth to speak. 

“Oh bugger off,” you say, your voice breathy and annoyed. You didn't want to sound annoyed, it just came out that way. 

Matty raises both his hands in defeat, and spits the toothpaste into the toilet bowl, flushing. The hairbands sitting on the bathroom counter eventually end up in your hair, holding together two braids on either side of your face. You stare at the mirror one more time, examining yourself. The pink fabric of your (well, Mattys) shirt clung to you like it did Matty. Taking off your bra, you go back into his room. He had changed into a loose Kiss t-shirt and black boxers. The light of the corner lamp helped you find your phone, sitting on the nightstand next to you. 

The atmosphere was calm, calm enough that you’d almost forgotten about the kiss. Almost. 

Matty reached over to turn the lamp off, lighting a candle for light. Cinnamon. 

“You know it's dangerous to sleep with candles lit? We could catch on fire and die,” Matty had rolled over on his side, now facing you. A grin spread onto his face. 

“If it kept me from ever seeing Hanns ugly mug ever again, i’d gladly let cinnamon spice scented flames burn me to death,” 

You giggle at his words. Poor Adam, always taking the worst of Mattys jokes, if you could even call them that. Accepting his decision to keep the candle lit, you pull the blanket over your shoulders. Your eyes shut and you can feel butterflies in your stomach. Butterflies, really? Jesus fucking christ. 

You're scared to open your eyes, scared to even look at Matty. Maybe it was a mistake. He's your best mate. That kiss didn't mean anything, especially not to him.

A million thoughts race through your head, and you shove them into a small corner of your mind. Ignore ignore ignore, it didn't mean anything. He's just some wanker who picked you up at a bus stop three years ago and somehow became your best mate. He's just some guy you share a bed with sometimes. He's just some guy who lights your spliffs for you. He's just some guy who you kissed on a terrace overlooking the city. 

Fuck. 

#look at me trying to write #cringe #the 1975 #matty healy #ross macdonald #adam hann #george daniel #drive like i do #matty healy x reader #matty healy angst #matty healy fluff #slow burn #eventual smut #friends to lovers #fallingforyou #dlid #matty healy x you

[ecemf]

The Interview — Matty Healy

18+! MDNI!!!!!! Explicit!!!

Okay so I've never written fanfic or smut before so this could be ass but I just love jealousy sex & the idea of being on a red carpet so...

CW: smut, choking, dom/sub dynamics, dom!matty, sub!reader, use of y/n, alcohol usage, jealous!matty, possessive!matty, established relationship, thigh riding, i think that's it?? lmk if i missed anything

WC: ~3k

Ok I hope y'all like it ENJOY!!

The Interview.

The cameras are almost blinding as you stare out into the crowd of photographers shouting your name, trying to get the best angle for whatever publication they’re working for. Being a top executive at Sony Music meant you mostly worked behind the scenes; out of the spotlight. However, seeing as 18 artists on your label (five of which you yourself handpicked) were up for awards tonight, you couldn’t not show up to The Grammys. Besides, it felt good to dress up once in a while, especially if that meant wearing custom Chanel.

Continuing down the red carpet, you’re stopped by a reporter for Rolling Stone, Bryan Wilson. From the few brief interactions you’ve had with him at industry parties and the stories that have circulated about him, you know the guy’s a sleaze. But, given that there’s a Canon XF605 pointed directly in your face when he asks if you have time for a short interview, you smile sweetly and comply.

“You look stunning tonight, as always, Y/N”, he begins, in typical sleazy reporter fashion, “Can you tell us a little bit about what you’re wearing?” His eyes travel down the expanse of your body, grazing (quite slowly, to be frank) over the daring V-cut of your gown.

You couldn’t really blame him for checking you out, you did look incredible in this dress. Layers of black satin expertly draped over your body created an elegant but sexy silhouette complete with a plunging neckline and a timeless backless design. You knew you looked good, you didn’t need Wilson eye-fucking you to tell.

“Isn’t this The Rolling Stone?” You giggle in response, half-joking, “Shouldn’t you be asking me about Sony Records and leave the fashion questions to Vogue?” To the untrained ear, your tone is light-hearted and sincere, however, there’s an intended edge you’re hoping is coming through.

If he was picking up on the edge, he wasn’t showing it. Wilson continues on checking you out, responding “We hear about Sony Records enough, but it’s a treat to see the woman behind the magic,” he looks directly into the camera and gestures to your body, “especially when the woman looks like this!” He looks at you now, “Why don’t you give us a spin, Y/N?”

You clench your jaw into a tight smile, “You know, I’d really rather talk about the artists up for awards tonight. It’s a record-breaking night for my company, and I’m extremely proud to be here…” You’re trying your best to refocus the conversation on the real reason you’re on the red carpet tonight, but Wilson’s wandering eyes are making it difficult for you to focus on anything.

Finally feeling fed up, you clear your throat, “Sorry, Bryan, am I boring you?”

He breaks out of his stare from your chest and goes red. “Oh! No, I’m sorry I was just… looking at your necklace!” He gestures to the Tiffany & Co. pendant that hangs (conveniently for him) right between your boobs.

“Stunning, innit?” You hear your boyfriend say from behind you as he comes up and possessively wraps his arm around your waist on camera in a way that will definitely be circulating Twitter tomorrow. “Just bought it for her yesterday when I first got to see the dress.” Matty grips your right hip so tight that the satin puckers under his fingertips. You get a feeling he’s been watching this “interview” from afar.

“A beautiful necklace for a beautiful woman, indeed,” Wilson so boldly responds, either not noticing or not caring that Matty was already quite irritated.

With that final comment, Matty grips your hip even tighter, “Right, then,” he says shortly, “Cheers, mate!” He yells over his shoulder while quickly ushering you away from the train wreck of a media appearance.

“I’m gonna kill that guy,” he leans down to quietly whisper in your ear as the two of you make your way into the venue, “Staring at you like a piece of meat live on camera, isn’t he embarrassed?”

“It’s really not a big deal, baby,” you try to reassure him. And to you, it wasn’t, really, compared to some of the other harassment and objectification you’ve experienced in such a male-dominated industry, “He’s just some stupid reporter,”

“Yeah some stupid reporter who doesn’t know how to keep his stupid fucking eyes away from what’s mine,” he growls under his breath.

You grow a bit warm at your boyfriend’s possessive words and decide to push him a little further. “So what, people aren’t allowed to look at me now? We’re kind of on a red carpet if you haven’t realized,”

Matty rolls his eyes as the two of you take your seats at your assigned table. “You know what I mean,” he scoots a bit closer to you, wrapping his arm around your waist, “People can look at you all they want, but these,” he trails his hand up your torso, palming your left tit and slightly grazing its nipple through your dress with his thumb. You gasp. “These are mine, and you know that.” he says lowly into your ear.

This was going to be a long night.

—

Seven wins, two acceptance speeches, and a few too many bottles of champagne later, the ceremony was coming to an end. You were so proud of your artists, even those who hadn’t won tonight.

To your (and your aching feet’s) misfortune, your boyfriend was insistent on “making an appearance” at the afterparty, to “touch base with some important blokes”. You weren’t thrilled about the ordeal, but you had a nice buzz going from the free champagne earlier and figured a gin and tonic to top off the night wouldn’t hurt anyone. Boy were you wrong.

You were standing by the bar by yourself, watching Matty “touch base” with the aforementioned “blokes”. Nursing your second gin and tonic, you wonder how much longer their conversation will take, and when you can finally go home (and take your boyfriend to bed). As your mind indulges your fantasies of being fucked to sleep later, you hear an annoying and familiar voice from behind you.

“It breaks my heart to see such a gorgeous woman drinking alone,” no one other than Bryan Wilson saunters up beside you at the bar, “Where’s your man? You think he’d be smarter than to leave such precious goods unattended…” he slurs to you, obviously a few more deep than you were at this point in the night.

As Wilson drunkenly gets too close to you, you turn back to where Matty was talking to see him staring holes into the man’s skull, clenching and unclenching his fists. Your nearing-on-past-tipsy mind flashes back to your boyfriend’s words earlier, and his reaction to the reporter’s initial efforts towards you. You consider your options: 1) tell Wilson to fuck off and continue being bored by yourself at the bar, or 2) play this up a bit, make Matty jealous, have some fun, and probably go home early. Your sixth drink of the night tells you option two is far more enticing, and you agree.

You lean into Wilson a bit, closing some of the distance you were intentionally making. “Ever the flatterer, Bryan,” you lean back and give him a once-over, “I’m shocked that you’re still single, a handsome guy like you with such a smooth mouth on him.”

“It’s intentional baby,” he puts a hand on your arm - uh oh. “Why would I tie down this smooth mouth to one lucky lady? There’s plenty enough to go around…” and just as you think he’s about to make a move you feel a bruising grip on your upper arm tearing you away. Away from Bryan Wilson, away from the bar, away from the party.

You get your bearings and find yourself in a secluded hallway outside the party with your very angry, very sexy boyfriend staring you in the face. “What the fuck was that?” He spits at you, fuming.

“What was what?” You respond, looking up at Matty with your best doe eyes.

He cages your body in between his own and the wall of the hallway, “Don’t play stupid with me now, things can only get worse for you from here, pet.” As you look up at your very jealous partner, and feel the energy radiating off of him, you think to yourself that things can probably only get better.

You maintain your look of faux-innocence as you reply in your sweetest voice “Baby I was just talking to-“

“Don’t ‘baby’ me,” Matty growls as he grabs your throat and pushes you harder into the wall behind you. “You were letting that perv practically fuck you in front of everybody here. Making everyone think you’re anything but mine.” He pushes his hips into yours to punctuate the word, and you can feel how hard he is. Oh dear. Maybe it’s time to drop the act.

“I’m sorry, you were just taking so long talking to those guys, and I was getting so impatient and needy for you,” You bat your eyelashes in an attempt to seduce your way out of undoubtedly being fucked silly in some corner of this hotel right now. “I just want you to take me home, baby,” You run your hands down his chest, the way you know he likes.

Matty scoffs at this. “Aw, my poor little slut can’t wait longer than an hour for me to take her home and fuck her?” You feel a heat pool at your center from his words and absolute condescension. His hand around your neck comes up to grip your jaw, holding your head so that you can’t look anywhere but his eyes. “So fucking pathetic. Having to whore yourself around in public so that I can give you some attention? Trying to embarrass me in front of all our colleagues meanwhile, the only thing embarrassing is how stupid you look letting that scumbag put his hands on you,”

He holds your face an inch away from his own, his eyes searching for a response in yours. “I think you may need to be reminded just who you belong to.” He says darkly. And with that, he’s dragging you again, this time into the bathroom at the other end of the hallway.

As soon as the door closes he has you pressed up against it face-first. He wastes no time undoing the back of your dress, practically ripping it off of your body. You hope he doesn’t do any damage to the new gown, but to be honest, you’re not sure you care in this moment either way. Upon removing the dress, your boyfriend can see that you’ve forgone any undergarments (half because of the dress itself, half because you knew it would drive him crazy - which it does).

“Oh my fucking god,” he practically moans when he sees your now naked form pressed up against the door for him. “You’ve been ready for me all night, haven’t you princess?” He whispers in your ear, pressing himself to your back, slightly grinding into your bare ass. You squirm with his words and the minimal stimulation he provides.

“Well let’s just take a look,” He reaches his hand around from where he’s standing and drags a finger through your soaking folds agonizingly slowly. Your breath hitches. “Oh my poor girl,” he tuts, “how long have you been soaking through your dress baby?” He resumes his teasing, touching everywhere that isn’t your clit or your entrance. You whine and push your hips back in protest.

Matty grabs you by your waist and holds you in place against the door. “I think I asked you a question, slut.” He barks. You only grow wetter at his words and his toying.

“Since-“ you start, but you’re cut off by a moan when he takes his free hand to pull on your left nipple. His teasing is almost overwhelming, and you’re not sure you even remember the question the way your head is clouded with lust and need.

You’re pulled out of your hazy state by a hard slap to your pussy, “Since what? Huh? I haven’t even taken my cock out and you’re already fucked dumb. Answer me. How long have you been this wet?” He asks again, rolling your nipple between his fingers while inching closer and closer to your entrance with his calloused hand.

“Since you were grabbing my hips on the red carpet,” you manage to stutter out “during the interview.”

With that answer, he removes both of his hands from you. You put your hands up to brace yourself from slamming into the door from your newfound loss of support. Matty laughs darkly.

“So that’s what this is about, huh angel?” He grabs you by your hips, spinning to face him and pushing you even harder into the door behind you, “you like it when I get riled up, so I’ll treat you like the whore that you are?”

You look up at him with your glazed-over eyes and nod dumbly.

“Well here’s the problem with that,” Matty begins sucking on your neck harshly, no doubt leaving bruises, “You… are… my… whore… no… one… else’s…” he punctuates every word by leaving a new mark on your chest with his mouth. He takes a step back, admiring his handiwork. “Gorgeous,” he mutters as he admires your now hickey-covered tits, “you should really see this baby.”

Matty leads you over to the sink of the bathroom, turning you around to see your naked and marked-up form in the mirror. Looking at the new marks on your chest, you realize that he’s left them in the distinct pattern of your dress’s neckline, meaning there’s no hiding them. No hiding the fact that you’re his. You squeeze your thighs together at the thought.

Leaning over your shoulder in the mirror, you watch as your boyfriend trails his hand down your body to the place you need him most. Unsurprisingly, though, he doesn’t touch you, he simply ghosts his hand over the outside of your now sopping heat. You press yourself into him.

“Please, baby,” you whine, making your best puppy eyes in the mirror at him. “Please, I need you to touch me.” You’re so desperate he doesn’t even need to ask you to beg.

“Do you think you deserve to be touched?” He responds, continuing his teasing, “You’ve been quite a bad girl tonight, baby. And bad girls don’t get what they want.”

“I’ll be good, I promise,” you beg even more, tears forming at your eyes with the desperation he’s built in you.

“Prove it,” Matty responds, trailing his hand up to your mouth. You gladly take his digits in, watching as he toys with you and stretches you out, wishing he would do that in other places. You hear the clinking of his belt, and you perk up, thinking that maybe he’s just going to put you out of your horny misery and fuck you already, but of course he’s not.

“Can’t have you getting yourself all over my nice trousers now can we love?” He says as he pulls his pants down to his ankles. You watch still with all four of his fingers in your mouth as he takes his newly naked thigh and roughly slots it in between your legs from behind. Your eyes roll back at the much-needed friction it provides. Matty leans in, “Right then. Be a good girl and ride my thigh, hm? You’re gonna have to get yourself off before I believe you after tonight’s theatrics.”

Embarrassing as it may be, you are in no condition to care in this moment. You immediately start feverishly fucking your boyfriend’s thigh, moaning around his fingers at the friction you’ve been needing all night, a ball already forming in the pit of your stomach. Not more than a second after your head falls forward in relief, your boyfriend grabs you by your hair to force you to look in the mirror, “Nuh-uh” he growls, “You’re gonna watch while you fuck yourself on my thigh. You’re gonna see just how pathetic you are, crying with relief and coming undone when I’ve not even touched you.”

Matty’s words and the sight of him and you in the mirror add to the very quickly growing warmth in your body. Your skin is on fire as you grip the sink in front of you, trying to use whatever leverage you can to get yourself off faster. You take one hand to start kneading your tits, playing with your nipples, hoping some added stimulation will help; you whine at the new sensation.

“There you go princess, that’s it,” he coos in your ear, “so good f’me, taking directions so well baby.”

The praise goes straight to your core and you can feel yourself clench around nothing. Matty can tell by your breathing that you’re close, so he grabs you by your hips to help you, moving you back and forth on his thigh, assisting in your rhythm. “Come on my thigh,” he demands in your ear; and you do. That white-hot pleasure you’ve been chasing since you saw your boyfriend on the red carpet this afternoon finally washes over you. But it’s not enough.

Matty takes his fingers out of your mouth but keeps you firm against him. As you come down from your high, you look at him in the mirror desperately. Your orgasm was, well, an orgasm, but you know it could be so much better if he would just fuck you.

“Matty please,” You whine, still making sweet eye contact, “Baby, I need more.”

Matty nods his head in the direction of the door. “Put your dress on, love,” You think you might cry, until he whispers in your ear, “I’m not done with you yet, princess.”

---------

Ahh!! Should I write a pt. two when the couple gets home?? Thank y'all for reading my first smut omfg I can't believe I did this...

#matty healy #matty healy x y/n #matty healy x you #matty healy x oc #matty healy blurb #matty healy oneshot #matty healy fluff #matty x reader #matty healy x reader #matty healy smut #matty healy fic #matty healy x fem reader #matty healy x fem!reader #the 1975 smut #dom!matty #sub!reader #jealous!matty #possessive!matty

[toomuchracket]

if you're too shy, part 2 (office nerd!matty x reader fluff)

remember those gigs you and matty got scheduled to cover in part 1? yeah. this is them. enjoy <3

“hey.”

matty's curls bounce as he looks up at you quickly. a mild sense of guilt gnaws at your ribs when you realise you've spooked him, but it dissipates when he smiles, visibly relaxing when he realises it's you breaking him from his concentration. “oh, hi. you alright?”

you nod, gesturing to the vacant desk next to his. “am i ok to sit here?”

“yeah, of course. no need to ask. here, let me,” matty slides his notebook out of your way; as you lay your laptop down and sit, you can see him biting back a beam from the corner of your eye, and your heart flutters. “was there anything you needed, or…? not that there has to be, you know,” he sits up straight, apology settling itself on that gorgeous face of his. “i didn't mean it like that, i just meant-”

“no, i know, matty,” you smile softly. “there is, incidentally, but also i just wanted to sit next to you.”

there he goes with the blushing again - honestly, you reckon you could make a fortune if you bottled and sold the colour of matty's cheeks when you fluster him. although, you suppose, maybe the colour is only appealing because of whose face it's on.

said face is grinning at you again. “well, feel free, anytime.”

“likewise.”

“i'll take you up on that,” matty's smile gets impossibly wider, before he catches himself and controls it a little. “so, what is it that you need from me?”

the sloppiest kiss known to man. “advice, actually,” you put your glasses on, preening internally at the way matty's breath catches in his throat as you do, and open spotify on your laptop. “where should i start with this band we're going to see twice this weekend?”

matty's face brightens even more - impossible, you'd have thought. “oh. well, do you know any of their stuff already?”

you shake your head. “very bad of me as a music journo, but no,” you smile cheekily. “this is my first time. need you to talk me through it.”

the way matty coughs and tries to pass it off as him clearing his throat at your words is delicious. to be fair to him, he recovers quickly, the only sign of him being flustered the way his cheeks periodically twitch into a smile and back down again. “alright, so… i think i’d probably start with their second album - can i?” at your approval, he slides your laptop closer to him and scrolls down the band’s spotify profile to find the album in question. “their first is good, yeah, but the second one is where they really start to define their musical identity…” he trails off, covering his mouth. 

you blink in concern, leaning into him. “you okay, matty?”

“yeah, i just,” he sighs, then giggles into his hand. it’s maybe the best thing you’ve ever heard. “i realised i was starting to sound a bit like patrick bateman.”

“oh my god,” you snort, covering your own mouth as you laugh. “christ, you were. was this band’s early work too new-wave for your tastes and all?”

“little bit. i think their undisputed masterpiece is album two - literally a personal statement about the band itself,” matty smiles, then winces. “that was embarrassing.”

you shrug. “nah, i like that film. and not just because i think christian bale’s fit in it.”

“i was gonna go as him for halloween this year, actually,” matty says, nonchalantly scrolling through spotify again. “would that be weird?”

fuck. matty in a suit? potentially covered in blood? you have to readjust the way you’re sitting at the mere thought. so, naturally - “i think you should do it.”

“yeah?”

“yeah,” you smile, matching matty’s. “i’d enjoy it, at least.”

“that’s all the convincing i need,” he smiles sweetly at you, then gestures to the laptop. “so, d’you wanna know a bit about their influences before you listen?”

“go on, then.”

“alright,” matty shuffles his chair closer to you; you sit up slightly straighter as goosebumps pass over your body, increasing tenfold when he looks directly into your eyes. from this close, his are warmer than you initially realised, and you have to work extremely hard to focus on what he's saying instead of drowning in them. “to be fair, you weren't totally far-off with the new-wave joke - their music is rooted in post-punk subculture, but more along the melodic, jangly-guitar, early eighties type. you know aztec camera, yeah? convinced i saw you wear a high land, hard rain shirt to work once.”

the butterflies nesting in your stomach flutter at his recollection. “yeah, that's right. same vibe as them?”

“kinda. similar to a lot of scottish and northern bands of that era. which is weird, considering they're all about thirty and from fucking newark.”

“i see,” you nod, smiling at the way matty's twirling one of his curls. “any springsteen influence, then? not to stereotype, but… eighties-inspired music by people from new jersey? seems like there could be connection.”

matty nods enthusiastically. “yeah, great question. i mean,” he puffs air through his lips quite adorably. “lyrically, yeah, and they have quite prominent sax parts in some of the songs that are quite e street band. but the inspiration seems to be mostly melodic post-punk. does that all make sense?”

you smile, leaning on your elbow. “yeah. you're very good at explaining things. i like that about you.”

“really?” matty blushes again. “sometimes i worry that i'm just talking shite, to be honest. i know i've got a tendency to ramble a bit, always have. it annoys people, i think.”

“not me. you're always talking about something interesting. makes me feel good to talk to you.”

he clutches his hands into sweater paws again, smiling. “same. you're a sweet one, i think. m'excited that we're working a bit closer now.”

“nobody else i'd do this with, matty,” you hold out your hand, and squeeze his when he lays it atop yours; a perfect fit, you note. “you're my favourite.”

he genuinely looks like he could cry, softly rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand and speaking even softer than that. “likewise, darling.”

for a second, you do nothing but beam at each other, still tentatively holding hands; it's only when your laptop pings with an incoming email that you break out of your reverie and apart. matty clears his throat. “would you like to know which order i recommend listening to the albums in?”

“please.”

he nods. “the second, then the most recent - which is the fifth, by the way. after that, i think i'd probably say… first, third, and fourth last. that one got a bit experimental, i doubt they'll play anything from it at either of the shows. d'you want me to just make a playlist of that order for you, while we're here?”

“oh, yes please,” you watch him do just that, a slight sense of longing settling itself in your bones when you think of a playlist so sorely him settled amidst all your favourite songs; actually, it gives you an idea. “i've got a final question for you, if that's okay, matty. well, technically two.”

“yeah?” he turns to look at you again, eyes disarmingly caring and focused on you.

“what's your absolute favourite song by the band? doesn't have to be the objectively best one, and you don't have to tell me why. m'just curious.”

matty smiles, the sun breaking through clouds. “that's easy,” he scrolls down the new playlist. “this one. that's my favourite.”

“alright,” you drag it to the top of the song list. “then that's the one i'll start with. and then i'll go onto the matty-approved listening order,” pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose, you turn to face him. “that sound alright?”

“mhmm,” matty nods vigorously again, wild hair bouncing all over the place; a curl falls over his eye, and he brushes it away before peering up at you through his enviously-long lashes. “meant what i said earlier, you know. i really do think you're incredibly sweet.”

“thank you,” you all but whisper, doing your best to cover your own blushing. “um - what was i saying?”

he smiles. “you had another question, i think?”

“right, yeah. um,” your throat goes dry with sudden nerves, and you try to swallow as inconspicuous as you can to make it better. twisting your fingers together, you look down at them as you speak. “i've still got a restaurant review to do this weekend, and i was wondering if you, like, wanted to go for dinner before saturday’s show? that italian, near camden road station? and you can say no, of course, no hard feelings, but,” you can feel your cheeks burning as you tentatively look up at him. “i'd just like to hang out with you a little bit longer this weekend. i like spending time with you.”

“oh,” matty breathes, blinking as if he can’t quite believe he isn’t dreaming - you hope that’s the reason, at least. he bites his lip, cheeks rosy as he looks up at you with a smile, and nods. “yeah, i’d love that. thank you.”

“thank you, for agreeing,” you exhale, nerves replaced by tingling excitement. “is half four too early? that would give us time to eat, and walk to the roundhouse before doors, yeah?”

“that works for me,” matty nods. he twirls his hair again. “d’you want to just meet at the restaurant? cos that’s the station i’d get off at, camden road. but i don’t mind meeting you off the tube, if you like.”

“no, no, it’s alright. i’ll just get you there - i’m not gonna make you brave the high street when you don’t need to,” you giggle. “especially on a saturday afternoon, christ.”

he huffs out a laugh, but his eyes are tender - so is his voice, when he replies. “alright. i’d do it for you, though, no complaints.”

you believe him. you aren’t sure if you’ve ever seen someone look so sweetly sincere, and it’s fucking your brain up. big-time.

still, you hold it together long enough to reply. “you’re cute, healy, even if i think you’re a bit mad for offering to walk through camden just to get me,” you giggle at the way his jaw drops at the compliment. “you can get me at angel on friday, though, if you fancy? makes sense, if you’re already walking down from highbury.”

“i’ll be there at six,” matty smiles. “i’m excited to hear what you think of the band, you know. i think you’ll like them.”

“well, if you do, then i’m sure i will. you’ve got good taste,” you gather up your laptop and stand, turning to matty with a flirty grin. “speaking of - i like that jumper. you look hot in red, matty. really hot. anyway,” you bite back a grin at the little gasp he lets out. “thanks for all your help, lovely.”

“anytime!” he calls after you when you turn to walk away, deliberately swinging your hips slightly more than usual - you’re convinced you hear a muffled “fuck” before he speaks properly. “and, um, thanks for, y’know, liking my jumper.”

you look over your shoulder and wink, happiness bubbling through your body when you notice matty shifting his gaze from your ass to your face so hastily it’s a wonder his neck didn’t snap. “friday at six, yeah? don’t be late.”

“i won’t!”

and he’s true to his word - when you come up the escalators at angel station at five minutes to six on friday, matty’s leaning against the wall opposite you. he grins, a big toothy eye-crinkling smile that has your heart doing backflips, and waves as you walk over to him. “hi! i like your jacket.”

“oh, thank you,” you self-consciously touch the fluffy collar. “have you been waiting long?”

“not really. ten minutes?”

“that’s not too bad. shall we?” you wander out into the chilly evening air, matty matching pace beside you. “you ever been to a show here before?”

“yeah. what a fucking weird venue,” matty steps closer to you to avoid being run over by a bike, and your heart flutters; you’re actually sad when he moves away. “i like it inside, but-”

“the fact it’s literally in the middle of a shopping centre is insane?”

“completely mental.”

“a really strange bit of urban planning,” you smile, turning to him as you wait at a set of traffic lights. “i listened to the playlist you made me, by the way. even learned some of the words.”

matty laughs. “you like them, then? that’s good. knew you would, though.”

you nod, fighting the urge to grab his hand as you cross the road. “played your favourite song about ten times on loop. i had no idea it was going to end up being a love song, by the way…”

“yeah, the title’s a bit misleading.”

“...but it really works. i can see why it’s your favourite,” you gently nudge your shoulder into his arm. “like i said the other day, you’ve got good taste.”

he looks down at the pavement, smiling, then at you. fuck, he’s so cute. “so do you, darling,” he says, voice so soft you can hardly hear it over the bustle around you. “i really like your outfit.”

the hour spent upending your entire wardrobe onto your bed to pick it out was absolutely worth it. “thank you. i figured, y’know, since i’m technically not working,” you smirk at him. “i’d make the effort for going out. tomorrow, though, when i’m on-shift? not a chance.”

“you’ll still look great, i reckon,” matty says, easy as breathing; ironically, the ease of his words practically stops your own breath. “and yeah, i s’pose you really aren’t working tonight. when was the last time you went to a gig just for fun?”

“it’s been a while,” you admit. “and i miss it, actually, getting to just experience new artists without having to analyse and critique them. that’s part of the reason i’m excited to be going tonight.”

“i get that,” matty nods as you turn into the venue entrance. “and what’s the other part?”

you grin. “the fact i’m going with you.”

once again, matty blushes. “if you keep throwing me off with compliments the whole night, i literally won’t get any work done. but thank you. m’glad you agreed to come with me tonight.”

“i’m glad you asked,” you turn to him once you join the line to get in. “and you’ll get your work done, don’t worry. i promise to be good.”

for the most part, you actually succeed at that, and it’s largely due to how bloody good the band are. for all the venue is in a weird place, it really is a decent one - it’s so intimate that even you, who only started listening to the artists onstage this week, feel like a proper part of it. and, free of note-taking responsibilities, you can allow yourself to be made giddy by the coloured lights and loud melodies, to dance as best you can on the sticky floor, to sing along to the scraps of lyrics you recognise and join in the backing vocals with the rest of the crowd. that was always your favourite part of a concert, the moments where hundreds of voices just worked as one, identities dropping and merging to prioritise the music; it’s nice to be in it, for once, rather than doing your best to observe and capture and convey it in words. you leave that to matty, and mostly leave him be aside from the odd smile and laugh, always responded to warmly by him.

that is, until they play his favourite song, and the boy beside you becomes impossible to ignore.

the singer says something about this being the last song of the night, before beginning the now-familiar melody on his guitar. matty’s head snaps up at the first few notes, and his notebook snaps shut; you turn to him at the noise, smiling at the excitement on his face, even more radiant than usual under the pink lighting. he looks at you with a matching smile, curls bouncing as he nods along to the music, before turning back rapt towards the stage. you follow suit, soaking up the lyrics about wanting and yearning and falling fast for someone - hearing those words with that person beside you sends goosebumps shooting across your skin and sparks through your nervous system, the same kind of kinetic energy crackling in the space between you and matty. it’s so strong you have to uncross your arms, stretching your fingers out by your side. mortifyingly, they brush against the back of matty’s hand, and the sparks become shockwaves; not so much born out of fear, but of the same kind of longing the singer is musing about. he doesn’t seem to mind the contact, hand staying put despite it, and something in your brain just says fuck it and snaps.

tentatively, more so than you think you’ve ever been before, you loop your fingers around matty’s, and you hold his hand. and, quite honestly, nothing has ever felt quite so right as this. the shockwaves in your nervous system fade to a gentle hum, kinda like the reverb from the speakers, with only a tiny jolt when matty gently squeezes your hand in response.that’s how you stay for the rest of the song, hand-in-hand facing the stage, both of you - unbeknownst to the other - smiling contentedly and mouthing the lyrics to the song you relate to.

it lasts a sickeningly short amount of time, though - as soon as the song ends, you and matty are all but pulled apart by a group of kids running towards the stage, shouting about setlists and drumsticks and god knows what else. matty chuckles, walking backwards towards the exit so he can talk to you. "that was good.”

“yeah,” you agree, although you’re not sure what he’s specifically referring to. “liked it a lot.”

“me too.”

there’s comfortable silence as you weave your way out of the venue and onto the street. you turn to say a reluctant goodbye to matty, but he beats you to it. “i’ll walk you to the station.”

“are you sure? you’ve got a bit of a walk in the other direction, matty.”

he shrugs. “it’s a nice night. i don’t mind.”

“cool,” you do your best to keep from smiling at the thought of an extra five minutes with him. “thank you.”

“s'alright,” matty smiles, leading the way down the street. “i've had a lot of fun tonight.”

“yeah, same here. they're really good!”

“aren't they? i'm excited to see their set tomorrow, see how it compares,” he hums happily. “i think this is gonna turn out to be a really good article, you know.”

“so do i,” you beam at him. “and i must say, i'm enjoying the process for this one much more than i have in a while.”

he giggles, and you have to fight the urge to hold his hand again. “well, if you think about it,” matty rubs his thumb over his bottom lip quite attractively. “it makes a lot more sense for us to do gig reviews together. music is something to be shared, after all, and live music especially, and so are our reviews - we probably get a better sense of it all if we're not by ourselves, don't you think?”

you don't even bother trying to hide how enamoured you are when you look at him. “i love the way your brain works, matty.”

“oh, shush,” he clutches the sleeves of his jacket over his hands, but beams anyway; it drops from his face when he notices the tube station sign up ahead. “well, i suppose this is where i leave you.”

the melancholia in his voice makes your heart sink. “yeah, i guess,” you sigh. “but not for long, though.”

“true,” matty's face brightens, and he reaches to take your hand and squeeze it gently. “thanks for coming, darling. i had a lot of fun.”

“thank you for having me,” you squeeze his hand in return, smiling at the way he looks down at your connected fingers in wonder. “text me when you get home?”

“of course. you too, please.”

“i will,” you let go of matty, pausing before you turn to walk away; quicker than your brain can convince you otherwise, you lean up to press a kiss to his soft cheek, before winking at his dazed expression and turning towards the station. “see you tomorrow, lovely.”

“bye,” comes the soft, delayed reply. you turn back to wave once you reach the escalator, then smile giddily to yourself the whole way home.

in fact, you don't think you stop smiling giddily for the rest of the night, or the next day; just the knowledge that you're going to see matty again keeps you in a state of sunniness, has you dancing around the flat and serenading your dog, who just looks at you like you're insane. a tiny part of your brain agrees with her, but how can you be expected to help it? you haven't been this excited to go on a date with someone in a long, long time.

well, it's not a date, officially. but walking into a dimly-lit italian restaurant with matty in tow, him taking your jacket and pulling your chair out for you like a perfect gentleman? it fucking feels like it. you wish it was.

even more so when he takes his own jacket off, revealing A) a short-sleeved shirt in the same colour of red you told him he looked hot in the other day, worn slightly open over a white tank; B) almost-unbelievably muscular arms; C) tattoos littered up said arms, and one on his chest just peeking out suggestively.

jesus fucking christ.

you can’t help but stare at matty, mouth agape, as he sits down. he giggles nervously when he notices. “what?”

the words leave your mouth before you can even think about stopping them. “matty… do you know how hot you are?”

he does the adorable blinking thing again. “you think i’m hot? me?”

“um, yeah, i have eyes,” you giggle, cheeks burning. keep it together, you stupid slut. “i didn’t know you had all those tattoos, actually. why don’t you show them off more?”

matty shrugs. “sometimes, people think if you have lots of tattoos, you’re like, i don’t know… scary, or unapproachable,” he opens the drinks menu. “that’s not the impression i wanna give off, you know? especially at work. like, you know me, i’m quite soft and quiet. i just think the tattoos look sick.”

god, you want to eat him alive.

“i understand,” you nod, leaning on your elbows. “and i also think they look sick. kinda sexy, i’d say, to be honest. anyway,” you bite back a smirk at matty’s flustered expression. “what sort of drink are you in the mood for?”

“oh, well… i don’t know, actually,” matty scans the menu, then meets your eyes. “i’m new to this sort of reviewing. what do you usually do first? talk me through it,” he must mistake your wide eyes after his last statement for horror, instead of slight arousal. “please.”

“okay. can i see the menu, please? right, fab, thanks,” you hold it open so you can both see the drinks list. “shit, this is extensive… reasonably priced, would you say?”

“for this part of london? yeah.”

“i agree. right,” you look at him, and the concentration with which he looks back almost throws you off. “because we haven’t picked out food and don’t know about flavour palettes yet, i’d avoid wine for the time being. anything too flavoured, actually - i reckon our best bets are either some sort of fairly neutral cocktail, or a spirit and clear mixer. you know, vodka soda, a g&t, that kind of thing.”

matty nods. “makes sense.”

“yeah. the exception to all of that, in my opinion, is champagne,” you smile. “but if i start drinking it, i won’t want to stop, and if i kick the arse out of this meal on the work credit card then marianne will kick mine, so…”

he laughs, and the warmth of it goes straight to your stomach. “classy girl,” he smiles, laughing even harder when you make a face. “well, i think you are. and,” he points at the menu. “i also think we should have negronis.”

“nice. alright, let’s move on to food,” you open another menu. “oh, thank god we came here so early - this decision might take me a while. sorry.”

matty smiles, the tenderness in his eyes only exacerbated by the flickering candlelight. “that’s alright, darling. we’ll take all the time you need. well,” he winces. “maybe keep it within the two and a half hours we’ve got until we need to leave for the gig. although i s’pose we could stay here another fifteen minutes if we got a taxi.”

you wave insouciantly. “we’ll be on time. and you’ll have fun, too. promise.”

“oh, i don’t doubt that.”

and you really do have fun, despite having to constantly remind yourself that you’re not on a date and are in fact at work. the two negronis you each have over the course of the meal continue to coax matty out of his shell - and thus, get you to fall even harder for him than you already have, which to be honest you didn’t think was possible after seeing his tattoos - to the point where he’s affectionately taking the piss out of you for stealing forkfuls of his dinner “for journalistic purposes”. but, all in all, he’s completely fascinated by the process of forming your review, taking interest in the subtleties of what makes somewhere good versus great, and marvelling at the breadth of your culinary knowledge (which you’re actually very proud of, being self-taught and all); he’s still raving about it as you walk - with plenty of time to spare, mind you - along chalk farm road towards the roundhouse. “i actually don’t know what i’m more impressed with, you or the food. genuinely. you’re incredible. and to think i was going to make you soup!”

you frown. “past tense? why?”

“you know too much about food. i won’t be able to impress you.”

“matty,” you turn to look at him, wide-eyed and crestfallen. “that’s not true at all!”

he scoffs, but not harshly. “come on, babe,” the nickname does something funny to your stomach. “i’m not upset about it, just thinking realistically. how is my nana’s carrot and coriander recipe gonna stack up against michelin-starred minestrone, or whatever? not at all, that’s how. and that’s alright!”

“matty. matty - alright, fine,” you clear your throat, stopping and standing with your hands on your hips. “matthew. listen to me, and listen good, yeah? right,” when he nods, blinking those pretty eyes, you continue. “soup is a whole different thing - in fact, all domestic cooking is, especially if you’re making something for someone you care about. i don’t want to be impressed by the technique, i want to be nourished. cared for. dare i say, healed. and, in that regard, i have no doubt that your nana’s recipe would fucking decimate any posh restaurant soup. alright?”

he nods, shyly peeking through his eyelashes. “alright.”

“thank you.”

the walk continues, silent for a few minutes until matty talks again. “you know,” he says, smile audible in his voice. “i didn’t think i’d find being lectured about soup sexy. and yet…”

“oh my god, stop it,” you giggle, although you’re simultaneously fighting the urge to skip along the path and secretly filing that piece of matty information away in your mind. just in case. “thanks, though.”

he shrugs, smirking. you’re into it. “just telling the truth. it’s my job, after all.”

“and here i thought you were flirting with me,” you smirk back. “shame,” you wink, speeding up slightly towards the venue; you drop into serious mode when you see several different door queues. “shit. where do we go, with the press passes?”

matty hums, looking around. suddenly, he takes your hand, gently leading you to a side door; you’re quite content with this, a sort-of fuzzy feeling overcoming you, so much so that you barely register him talking. “here we are. you ready, darling?”

you nod happily at him. “round two. let’s go.”

the night, at first, progresses a lot like the previous one - you spend the opening set dancing, singing along to the songs you know pretty well by now, leaning in to talk to matty about any discrepancies you see in performance between both nights while he diligently takes notes. when they close with his favourite song, again, you’re slightly dismayed that he continues to write, and you can’t repeat the hand-holding; pretty much as soon as you’ve thought that, though, matty leans into you to rest his head on yours and sing along to the lyrics, and the room seems to get brighter. out of both desire and necessity (you know how clumsy he is), you wrap an arm around matty’s waist, and you swear you can hear him smile. it’s warm, sweet, intimate without being weird, and you really don’t want to let go of him. ever.

eventually, once the song ends and the house lights come up in the break between sets, you do, pulling your notebook from your jacket pocket with a sigh. matty straightens up, stretches with a groan that should not be as attractive as it was to you, and smiles. “pasta tiredness hitting you too?”

“little bit,” you wince. “maybe dinner then dancing was a bad idea.”

he shakes his head. “nah. it’s been fun. i’ve really enjoyed it.”

“i’m glad to hear that,” you smile at him. “wouldn’t mind making a habit of it, actually.”

“really?” matty beams. “neither would i. maybe we can pitch it to marianne as an actual segment. like, restaurant pairings with gigs, potentially highlight local places near the venues we go to. yeah?”

it’s a fucking great idea. he goes all bashful when you tell him as much. “cool. we can maybe see her about it on monday, if she’s in.”

you nod. “of course. come and find me on monday morning, and we can come up with a proper pitch while we get this piece done, alright?”

“‘course,” matty nods, smiling when the lights drop and the audience scream. “right, i’ll leave you to your notes.”

“cheers,” you reply, reluctantly turning towards the stage. it isn’t that the gig is bad, at all - as you wrote in your notes, the band are talented, charismatic, well-rehearsed. it’s just extremely difficult to focus on them and your notebook when you have the boy of your dreams beside you, close enough to touch and kiss and dance with, singing along happily and doing a dorky little two-step that makes his hair bounce quite beautifully. every so often, the urge to turn and smile at him becomes too much to resist, and matty goes visibly - adorably - pink under the stark white lighting every single time he makes eye contact with you.

by the time the gig ends, you’re dead certain: you are down so incredibly deeply bad for matty healy, and you need to tell him as soon as possible.

as it turns out, the opportunity for that happens extremely quickly once you’re both out of the venue, talking and laughing and dissecting the show even further than you did in your respective notebooks as you leave, and it’s so romance-media smooth that you genuinely think a higher power might be involved. perhaps an apology from the universe by having a group of teenagers push you and matty apart at yesterday’s gig, this time a group of them push you closer together, bolting past you and screaming about catching the bus home - matty tugs you into him to stop you being completely bowled over, and turns so the two of you are right next to the building instead of in the firing line out in the open. his hands are warm against your waist and lower back, and so is his neck under your clasped hands; you have no recollection of putting them there, but you sure as shit aren’t going to move them anytime soon. if you did that, you’d further the distance between you, and why on earth would you want to do that, when you’re so close you can’t tell whose breath cloud is whose and the little flecks of gold in his dark eyes are visible to you for the first time?

no. you’ll stay as you are, thank you very much.

“you know that thing we were going to pitch to marianne at work on monday?” you whisper, heart pounding as you notice matty’s eyes flick to your lips. “the thing we want to make a habit of?”

“yeah,” matty breathes, the words so close to your lips you can practically taste them. “what about it?”

your lips part, and you take a shaky breath before you reply. “well, the thing is,” you bite your lip, and his pupils dilate. “i don’t think i want it to be a work thing, matty.”

a beat passes before he responds. “neither do i.”

thank fuck.

your eyes close in contentment. “matty?”

“yeah, darling?”

you reopen them, looking up at him - for the probably millionth time in two days, you don’t bother trying to hide the feeling in your gaze. “kiss me.”

that gorgeous face above yours cracks into a smile. “alright.”

and he does.

it’s exactly how you imagined he would be - a little bit sloppy, tentative with tongue, but so eager and giggly and just so caring that it doesn’t matter. on instinct, your hand roots itself in matty’s curls, and the little whine he lets out is probably enough to fuel your bedtime fantasies for a fortnight by itself. you smile into him, tracing your tongue around his lips before sucking on the bottom one and releasing it slowly. your head is spinning, from matty more than lack of oxygen, and you honestly don’t think you’ve ever been happier post-kiss in your life.

there’s a happy silence for a minute, save the two of you gasping for breath, broken by matty kissing you quickly again and grinning. “hi. and, also, wow.”

“indeed,” you beam up at him, gently twisting those pretty curls around your fingers. “you might’ve figured it out by now, but… i like you, in a more-than-platonic sense.”

“the kiss gave it away, yeah,” he giggles breathily. “i take it there’s no policy at work about making out with your colleagues? or, y’know, taking them out on actual, unrelated-to-work dates?”

“no such thing.”

matty smiles, pulling you in for another kiss. “well, thank christ for that.”

#mads muses #mads does writing #office nerd au #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fic #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fluff #matty healy x reader #matty x reader

[hrryshoney]

no. 1 party anthem

matty healy x photographer!reader

A/N: lowkey projecting bc im a photographer/videographer❤️ this is set during like self-titled. if u could tell. named this after the AM song bc i think it fits (the bridge of this song is so them coded) this is unnecessarily long (6.1k words) but anyway Enjoy

warnings: smut 18+. um fingering, p in v unprotected sex, oral (m and f receiving), masturbation a bit? (male), degradation, praise, use of a camera during sex, Sir kink, exhibitionism (kinda), sex on a couch, light choking/slapping (blink and miss it!), probs more kinda filthy etc..

Today was shit. Complete and utter shit. Your alarm didn’t go off, you spilled coffee all over yourself, had to go home to change, and you were going to be late to your first clients appointment. It’s only 8:30, and you could already tell it was going to be a bad day.

Your first client was booked at 7:45. You only had four appointments today. Normally, you’d be a bit more booked out. But, your last clients would take up more time than usual. An up-and-coming band you heard, that were quite popular already. Their management had informed them about your local studio, and an appointment was made.

Upon walking into your studio promptly at 8:00, you saw that your best friend was stalling for you. She had your first client engulfed in mindless conversation. God love her, Lexi knew how to keep a crowd entertained. Really, showing up 15 minutes late wasn’t a good look. You were glad she was here to null some of the damage.

As you walked up to them, you caught the tail end of her gossiping, no doubt. You placed your hand on Lexi’s shoulder, startling her out of conversation. “Oh! Let me get out of your way. I was just telling Christian how my last shift at the diner was absolute madness. As always, though. He’s all checked in. Have fun, hope the shoot goes well!” You shot her an appreciative smile, then an apologetic one to Christian.

Stepping out of the lobby and leading him to the studio, you were face to face with him. “I am so, so sorry I kept you waiting. This morning was one from hell, for sure.”

“It’s alright, don’t worry. Shit happens.” He smiled back at you, following you into the room.

You were grateful for his understanding, hoping it wasn’t too much of an inconvenience. You prided yourself on being punctual and professional. Thankfully, the studio was already set up for his shoot

You took the lens cap off your camera and began to set up your tripod for some head shots. Flipping the camera switch to ON, you then turned to Christian.

“Let’s get started.”

…

Your next 2 appointments went on without a hitch. They were both fairly basic shoots, nothing too heavy. Your 2nd client was even a regular. She was so lovely. Today she came in to get maternity photos with her husband. Considering how long she’s been coming to your studio, you were ecstatic for her.

You were still a bit out of it and tired though, the effects of your morning not completely worn off yet. You had an hour and 45 minutes before your last clients for the day came in. The band that you’ve been anticipating.

It was 11:34 now, so you were taking this as an opportunity for your lunch break. You decided to go to the sandwich shop that was about a block down from your studio. Walking out of the darkroom in your facility, (some guests preferred genuine photographic film) you spotted Lexi. Still behind the front desk, but now on a stool, slouched and looking at her phone. Mindlessly scrolling, she was kicking her feet back and forth as they dangled from her place in her seat.

“Hungry?” You came up beside her, tapping her thigh twice. Lexi was pulled out of whatever she was watching on her phone, looking up at you. “Mhm, starving. Lunch?”

“On me,” You confirmed, “thought we could get it in before our last clients. They’re gonna take a while, but I’m looking forward to it.” You said honestly, looking out the studio’s glass windows to the street. “Have we ever shot a band?” You use the term ‘we’ loosely. When you and your best friend both got a start, you always knew that you were going to be more hands-on. She didn’t necessarily share the passion for photography, but when she had no shifts picked up for her service job at the local diner, she would pay you a visit. She stuck beside you, and you’re thankful for it.

Lexi does most of the behind the scenes work for you when she’s there, and it would honestly be 10x harder without her. “Don’t think so. I would have remembered that. Every guy in a band is, like, insanely hot.” She hopped off her stool, beat white converse hitting the ground.

“Good to know where your priorities are. Hopefully they’re cooperative.” You wondered aloud, you knew they were young. That normally meant they would be rowdy, too. Four guys around your age was bad news in general, even worse that they’re musicians. “Hopefully they’re hot.” Lexi corrects, too caught up in picking at her nail beds to see your expression.

She had you laughing out loud. Wide eyes and an even wider grin on your face. “Right, extra incentive.” You picked up your keys to the front door that were lying on one of the shelves under the front desk. Checking your watch and walking to the door, you flipped the sign to CLOSED so you and Lex could grab a bite in peace.

…

You and Lexi wasted more time than you thought. You were out for at least an hour, having went shopping after eating. You both decided you could use a new outfit. Not for anything particular, but just to treat yourselves. Then, you traveled back to the studio.

30 minutes until your next client, you still had time to kill. You went to read the email from their management, again. You saw they specifically wanted a couch in their shoot. You should probably set up their studio now. You knew you had an old, black leather couch in the back somewhere. Finding it would be the hard part.

It wouldn’t be in any of your front studios, so you decided to check the last one first. Studio 13, it was more of a storage room now. When you first leased this place, you were pretty sure it used to be a one-level warehouse. You’re never booked to the point where you’re using all the studios, and you don’t have enough staffing anyway. Still, it cleans up nicely.

You end up shouting for Lex’s help dragging the big couch to your front studio. You had already set up a white tarp for your backdrop, knowing it was a pretty minimalistic shoot. As you lug the couch along the concrete floor, the feet of it scraping against it to make a rather brash noise, you began to think the soft, calming music that you queued to combat it wasn’t working very well.

You finally push the last bit of the couch into the studio, dragging it in front of the white tarp. Lexi raised her hand for a high five, which you gladly reciprocate. You look at her with a grin. “Not bad, huh? Little studio we got going.” You both laugh, staring at the quite bleak set.

“Best in town,” Lex returns dryly, she steps out and looks to the front windows. “Those your clients?” Before you even look, you answer. Albeit sarcastically, “And I’m supposed to know, how? I’ve never met these people before.” But the words died in your throat the moment you looked. They had to be your next clients. You didn’t think anyone could fit the bill for ‘band members’ more perfectly.

So, there they were. Smoking and loitering outside the studio. And Lexi was right, because she always had to be. They were hot. No sooner than you think it, the words are coming out her mouth. “Christ, they’re handsome.” All of them wearing some short of black getup, with tight jeans and t-shirts. One boy, with longer, blonde hair, had his sunglasses on with a snapback. She laughs through her sentence in disbelief, a hand coming to her mouth. You can’t help but follow suit.

“Right, well. Even if they are, he best not ash his cig in my flower pots.” You squinted your eyes, the cigarette resting between the boys middle and index figure. Trailing your gaze to his face, he had dark curly hair. A pale complexion with deep brown eyes, cheeks sunken in as he took a drag of his cigarette. The face that, after you finished staring, you saw was looking right at you with a half-smirk. You smiled back and looked to Lex, taking a step back into the front studio. “He saw me.”

“You weren’t exactly being subtle, but oh well. That’s the one you want?” She raises her eyebrows in a tease, a wide grin splitting across her lips. Your face and body heat, eyes widening. “Can you not? I need to be professional. This is the real deal, you know? They’ve got management and everything.” You didn’t wanna blow your shot, you knew this was the foot in the door to bigger things. Cute band members were not taking this one from you.

Your hands came subconsciously to brush at your outfit, looking down at yourself to see if you looked presentable. You could practically hear your best friend’s thoughts, and the smirk on her face. You ignored her.

The bell on your door rang with entrance, and you turned to see one of the guys walking in. He had shorter dirty blonde hair, and you could see one of the others stomping on his cigarette before following behind.

Putting on your customer service smile, you took a few steps back to make room for the 4 men in the lobby. You scooted closer to Lexi, suddenly feeling outnumbered. Four sets of eyes were now looking back at you. Two brunettes, one who had closer to black hair. Two blondes, one whose was longer and lighter.

“Nice to meet you,” You sighed out, their intimidating gazes piercing. “So, um, welcome to our studio.” You introduced the both of you, giving your name and Lexi’s. Gesturing between the two of you with a wave of your hand.

They went down the line doing the same. Ross, Matty, Adam, and George. In that order, introductions exchanged in their thick accents through giggles. The boy you had taken interest in you now knew as Matty, and he was only drawing you in more.

“Well, we can get started on your session early since… you’re here.” You looked to the group, waiting for some sort of approval. You got a couple head nods, and a smirk from Matty.

“That eager to get us in, babe?” He chuckled, knocking his shoulder into his friend’s playfully. You felt embarrassment flood through you, but you led them to the studio with your head up.

“Sure. So, Studio 13. I’ll get a lot of ‘full band’ shots, but your manager said he wanted some solo shots of the each of you, too. Think it’ll be easier to get the group ones now, though.” You told them, wringing your hands slightly.

There was a small murmur of agreement, and you turned around to get your camera ready. Checking your lens, SD card, battery. “Whatever you think, you’re the pro.” Your head shot up, seeing Ross smile reassuringly at you. You returned the gesture and got back to work.

As you walked around the room to flick your lights on, you saw Matty shooting his friend a look. You didn’t think too much of it, but your eyes couldn’t stop finding his face. You were gonna have fun photographing him solo. “Okay, everyone! Get together, pose, do whatever you want. I’ll take a bunch of shots.”

After a few pictures, you stopped. Lowering your camera. “Maybe.. We should get you in the middle.” You pointed at Matty, him freezing in his place at the end of the line. “I mean, you’re just…” You trailed off, hoping he’d get the point.

George spoke up, saving you from having to complete your sentence. “She’s saying you’re the shortest, mate. Get in the middle.” He snickered, hand raising to his mouth to hide his smile.

Matty’s smile dropped, shoving his friend’s shoulder. “Whatever,” he muttered, moving to his new spot. “Better?” He tried to hold back his laugh, but was failing over the sound of his friends chuckles in the background.

Once you got them started, you could see they really were naturals. You assumed their close bond caused them to work so well and naturally together. Joking around, but still getting good shots.

However, this perception faded when you had to go in for the solos. Of course, above anything, they were boys. And they were also making your job a living hell. No matter who you were photographing, the other three were trying to get a laugh. Anything to make their friend break.

Your last straw was when you tried to get a photo of Adam, and Matty all but fell into his lap. You laughed along, (because truly, it really was just a little bit funny), but forced yourself back into work mode.

“Okay, this isn’t working. How about for the solo shots the rest of you stand out in the hallway? And we get a little rotation.” You suggested, trying to make yourself sound as light hearted as possible. Though a wave of whines passed over the group, they ultimately agreed in the end.

Working with them one-on-one was really nice. The two guys you shot so far, Adam and George, were very intelligent and funny. Unnaturally respectful for men your age, and you really couldn’t complain.

You finished both of them up, their mini shoots taking about 15 minutes each. You went back in the hallway you collect another one of them.

Adam and George now stood to the side, leaving Matty and Ross to linger right outside the door. You opened the door, looking at both of them and keeping your palm on the door handle. “Who’s next?”

Ross’ eyes went to Matty’s, about to step backwards and let him go. Then, Matty’s arm shot out to land on Ross’ shoulder. It seemed he tried to give his friend a shove forward, but the most he got out of Ross was a stumble. “Ross will go next. Save the best for last and all that, right?”

You giggled at Matty’s antics, while the rest of his friends let out sighs and eye rolls. Ross mumbled something under his breath, a sarcastic ‘right, sure..’ was the most you caught. You then lead him into the studio, closing the door on your way.

Ross’ session took about 5 minutes more than the others. He was incessantly flirting, making it hard to do your job. And while there was no denying that he was very cute, you knew they were all harmless comments.

You were finding out quickly that the boys were good company. And the shots were all turning out more than great. They were all so naturally photogenic, and the camera loved them. You doubted you’d have to do much editing.

…

You walked out with Ross, on your way to finally bring Matty in. You two lightly chatted on your way out, Matty’s eyes landing on you the second the door opened. He looked at Ross and tilted his head, to which the taller boy only looked down at him and grinned.

You broke the awkward silence, clapping your hands together. “Right, well. Matty, last but not least and all that.” You step back and put your hands up, gesturing for him to step in before you.

Once you finally got him away from the rest of the band and you closed the door, his whole demeanor shifted. Matty turned around instantly to look at you, and you looked down to the floor. You could see his smile through your periphery.

“Okay, so. For the rest of the guys I got a few of them standing and a few of them sitting on the couch…” You trail off, looking around the room. At this point, you’re just desperately trying to avoid eye contact with him. Maybe saving him for last wasn’t the brightest idea.

“Okay,” Matty nods his head, eyes following yours and looking around the studio. “Should I.. get on the couch?” He says offhandedly, a hand coming to hide the smirk that’s blooming on his face.

You feel your face get hot, but you agree anyway. “Um, yeah. That’ll work.” You walk over to the studio light, dragging it in place from where you moved it when with Ross.

After getting the area set up, you turn back to Matty. He’s looking at you expectantly, waiting for direction. “You can just pose however you want. I’ll just take a bunch of shots and there’s bound to be some keepers.” You smile and turn your camera on, fiddling with the settings.

“Have to tell me if I’m doing good, then. Don’t know what I’m doing when I pose, to be honest.” He laughs, moving in his seat a bit. You scoff, still too preoccupied with your camera to realize you did it out loud. “What?” he asks intrigued, still smiling.

“Don’t think you could really look bad. I mean, you’re photogenic and good looking to begin with, so.” You press your lips together, the words flowing out of your mouth too freely. You turn around and walk to a cart that’s in the corner of the room, pretending to grab something from it.

“Yeah, sweetheart? Think I look good?” His smile grows unbelievably wider, not being able to hold back his teasing remarks. You roll your eyes, obviously not meaning the blatant compliment to come out. You come closer to him and he kicks his knee out so it brushes your thigh.

Trying to brush it off, you shrug your shoulders. “You caught me,” You said with the faintest smirk on your face. Taking photos of him flows naturally. He’s just too.. perfect. And though you don’t throw that word around, he really is. You already love the few shots you have of him.

You get down on your knees to take the next picture from a better angle, leaning back on your calves as you do. Matty’s eyes widen and immediately find yours. It doesn’t register in your head what he’s thinking, until you see him shift in his seat.

He doesn’t do it subtly, and you know he wants you to look. You’re no better, so easily giving into temptation. Your eyes drag to his hips, watching the way he lifts himself off the couch momentarily.

“Alright, babe?” He calls, drawing your attention back up to his face. Though, your gaze lingers on his mouth. He winks at you.

“Should I be asking you that instead?” You hide behind the camera, snapping more pictures. You remembered the promise you made to Lexi and yourself. Be professional.

He chuckled, bringing his hands to run them along his thighs. “Only if you’re gonna help me out.” His eyes search yours for an answer, and you can only guess that you look as desperate as you feel. You nod.

His hands run higher, rubbing over the tent in his jeans. “Gonna need your words, then.” He smirks, and you feel so out of control. But it feels nice.

“Yes, please. I’ll help you.” You get up from your spot on the floor, ready to move towards him. Matty’s hand presses on himself harder, and he groans.

“Ah,” He tsks, stopping you in your tracks. “Don’t get to touch me yet, we’re not done our photo shoot.” He smiles, which then gets interrupted with a moan. The only thing you’re focusing on is how he works himself with his hand.

“Please, Matty. Need you.” You’re already begging him, but you don’t dare move from your spot. Because you want to be good for him. You feel the pit in your stomach, and then the pool of arousal in your panties.

“C’mon, take a picture of me baby. Isn’t that your job?” Matty throws his head back, palming himself through his jeans even more. You feel your knees weaken, the camera suddenly heavier in your hand.

You bring the camera up to your face, looking through the view finder. Matty looks sinful. You clench your thighs together and his hips lift off the couch even more, a whimper falling past his lips. You take the photo.

“Knew you’d be so fucking eager. Could see ya eye fucking me since we got here.” Matty starts to unzip his pants, allowing his cock to be less constrained by the pressure. You don’t even think when your finger hits the button.

“Like you weren’t doing the same?” You shoot back, voice coming out breathier than intended. He lifted his hips up, pulling his jeans down past his thighs. He was left in his black Calvin Klein boxers. The imprint of his hard cock very much visible.

He strokes himself over his boxers, mouth parting slightly. “Watch that mouth, thought you were a good girl.” He groans out through gritted teeth. “Come here.”

You obey, of course. Walking straight to him, though your mouth gets the best of you. “Maybe you thought wrong.” You say with an innocent smile, the toes of your shoes hitting his. He grabs your wrist, bringing it to his dick. He moves your hand up and down, letting you feel all of him.

“Wanna be a brat for me, baby? Come on, take me out. I’ve got another use for that mouth.” You reach for his waistband, your camera still in your other hand. He notices the compromising position and takes it from you. You expect him to put it to the side, but he keeps it in his hand. “Get back on your knees.”

You lower yourself down, pulling Matty out fully. He’s pretty. His cock is long and thick, the tip slightly red with precum beading out from touching himself. “So big, Sir.” You look up at him through your lashes, pumping him twice. He whines out.

“Sir, huh?” He smirks, throat gravelly. You work your hands around his length more. Then, you hear it. The camera shutter. You look up, his eyes looking through the viewfinder.

“Can I suck you off?” You bat your eyelashes, waiting for permission. Matty’s hands falter, bringing the camera down slightly. He hums.

“Mhm, take your top off, sweetheart. Leave your bra and leggings.” You pull your hands off him, swiping your shirt over your head. You were wearing a blue bra with lace trim, and it pushed your tits together nicely. Thank you, Lord.

Matty started to pump his cock when your hand left, now working himself faster. “Open your mouth.” You submitted to him, quickly sticking your tongue out. You subconsciously pushed your breasts together with your elbows.

Matty slapped his dick on your tongue, loving the way your moans vibrated around him. He teased you, taking himself away to take another picture. “Please, please Sir.” You rock yourself on your heel, the desperation growing.

“Little slut,” He giggles, pressing his cock into your mouth. Groaning out when you close your lips around him. You could only take a little more than half of him in your mouth, swirling your tongue around his tip.

Your hands came up to work the rest of what didn’t fit. “Made for this, to take my cock.” You whined around him at that. Hollowing your cheeks and pulling off a bit. You say something around him that he can’t make out, and he bucks into your mouth.

Matty’s hand comes to rest on the back of your head, hand tangling in your hair. “Like that? Wanna be my fucktoy?” You nod around him, bringing one of your hands to rub yourself over your leggings. Matty guides your head down on him until you gag, letting you pull off and take a breath.

Tears welling in your eyes, you swallow your saliva and look back up at him. “I’m okay, please keep going. I like it.” You respond to the concerned look in his eyes, and he nods. Before you take him in your mouth again, you spit back on his cock.

“Fucking hell, shit.” Matty moans, throwing his head back on the frame of the couch. He pushes your head down again, making you take his whole cock in your mouth. You don’t gag this time, and he starts to move his hips.

He’s fucking your mouth, and you’ve never been more turned on in your life. You felt your knees starting to bruise, and you rubbed your cunt faster. The only thing separating you being two layers of fabric.

He pulled you off of him, then. Looking at you touching yourself. “Getting off on making me feel good? S’pathetic, baby.” He teased you, and you heard the camera go off yet again. “C’mon, up here. Gonna make you feel good.”

What a gentleman, you think. Not coming before you. The thought makes you giggle, but it’s interrupted by your own shriek when he pulls you onto the couch. He places you on his thigh, grinding you down against him. Your whines are constant and he’s not letting up. “Please, Matty. I want you.” You whimper.

Matty pulls his shirt over his head, throwing it to the side. You state shamelessly, taking in all of his tattoos. They make him even more attractive, and you know you’re only feeding his ego with your wide eyes and parted lips.

He flips your position, and now Matty’s on his knees before you. He pulls your leggings off briskly. Then, you’re only left in a bra and panties. He presses over the wet spot on your panties, and you jolt. He hooks his finger in them, and pulls them to the side.

His fingers run through your wetness, and you’re practically glistening under the studio lights. He slips his middle finger inside of you, but it’s gone as soon as it came. You squirm, needing to feel any kind of friction. He pulls you closer to him by your thighs, spreading your legs wide.

He’s just staring for a few minutes, until you feel him blow a gust of cold air onto your exposed cunt. You scream out, hips bucking off the couch. Matty lightly slaps your inner thigh. “Sh, don’t want our friends to know what a whore you are, right? Giving it up so easy for a guy you just met.” You hear the smirk in his words, his accent becoming thicker and breathing more rapid.

Without warning, he licks a bold stripe up the center of your pussy. You put your hand in front of your mouth, muffling the moans. Matty sees this, however, and has a different idea. He says something without lifting up from you, the feeling of his mouth making your eyes roll back. Finally, he pulls off of you. “Camera.”

You whine, “Huh?” The camera is suddenly being placed in your hand, the weight making you shake more. “Only fair you get some pictures of me. Had your photoshoot, now it’s my turn.” And with that, his mouth is back on you.

Matty licks your clit, pursing his lips and sucking. Your legs start to shake, and he brings his hand around to insert his middle finger in your hole. Your whole body goes weak, the light grip you have on the camera not helping.

Matty continues eating you, and he’s messy with it. You feel your slick on your inner thighs. His tongue goes inside of you, slowly moving in circles. He pulls off again, watching you clench around nothing before shoving his face between your thighs.

Your moans are nonsensical, bucking your hips off the couch and squirming uncontrollably. Matty spits on your cunt, moving his hand to pinch at your clit. “Fuck! Oh my God, Matty. Don’t tease.”

“God or Me, which one?” He laughs, pressing a light kiss to your clit. “You haven’t taken any photos, Miss ‘pro’.” He brings up Ross’ words from earlier, the realization causing you to smile. The smile is wiped away, though, when he runs his two fingers through your slit and puts them inside of you.

Your mind clears, and you finally take a photo. You don’t even bother to check the shot anymore, just clicking the button mindlessly. Matty grins and curls his fingers inside you. His tongue laying flat against your clit.

He sucks on you again, scissoring his fingers slowly. “Mm, please, Sir. Gonna cum, please.” You beg, hoping he won’t take it away from you. That he’ll just allow you to let go. You take another picture, the top of his hair and bottom of your abdomen most likely the only things visual.

“C’mon, baby. Cum for me and I’ll give you what you really want. Fill you up with this cock.” He stutters in his words, and you realize his other hand went down to lightly stroke himself. More precum that he’s been using to lubricate himself.

You cum with a shout, that’s muffled by his lips on yours. Matty swallows your moans, sticking his tongue in your mouth instead. You can barely taste yourself on his tongue, and you ride his fingers through your orgasm. “Matty, Matty. Shit, thank you.” You pant, chest heaving.

“Good girl.” He pats the top of your head condescendingly, snickering. He stands back up to his full height. “Don’t thank me yet, ‘M just getting started with you.” His hand comes behind your back, unclipping your bra and letting it fall to your lap. “Lift your hips up, love.”

You do as he says, letting him pull your panties off. He throws both scraps of fabric somewhere on the grand. His hand immediately going towards your tits. He grabs a handful, and starts kissing down your neck.

“Sir, need you now. Can’t wait anymore.” Matty’s lips attach to your collarbone. He bites you, sucking on the spot. He licks over the red mark, moving to another spot on your neck to do the same.

“You’ll fuckin’ wait if I make you. Do anything to please me, right?” You nod, head rolling to rest on your shoulder. You finally feel satisfied when Matty takes his cock, resting it just above your pussy.

He lines himself up, but never goes where you need him. He keeps bumping your clit, every time making your body twitch. He holds your hip in place, the tip of his cock prodding at your entrance. The only coherent thing coming out of your mouth is please, mixes of Matty and Sir.

He puts his tip inside of you, feeling you clench and then quickly pulling out. You whine, trying to move down the couch and put him back in. “Beg for me if you want it so bad, baby.” Matty is hard, and you know he must be aching as bad as you are. His cock and angry red, you know he needs to give in soon.

“Please! Please, I need it. Need you so bad.” You’re not above begging, obviously. And Matty loved it. He groaned, your wet cunt coming in contact with his dick again.

“Need what? Gotta use your words like a big, or I won’t know.” He rubbed his cock down your slit, pressing on top of your clit. He moved his hips forward slightly, and you squeezed your eyes shut.

You threw your head back, “You! Your cock, Matty. Need it inside me.” You tried to close your legs, clenching around nothing and needing friction. Matty gripped your inner thighs, prying them apart and pressing them to either end of the couch.

He lined himself up with your dripping hole again, slipping inside of you slightly. “Gonna give it to you, ruin you.” With that, Matty thrusted inside of you. He started slow, half his cock inside of you. He was stretching you out so good, letting you adjust. “More,” You grit out, teeth clenching in your head.

“Was gonna give it to you gently.” He pressed more of himself inside of you, watching you shake your head. His hand came up to grip your jaw, making you look at him. “You don’t want it slow, right? Just wanna be fucked dumb.” Matty pushed the rest of his cock inside of you. Finally, you were taking him in full.

“Yes! Yes, Sir.” You feel so whole, so full. It makes you want to scream, and you bring your knuckle to your mouth and bite down. You see Matty reaching behind your head for something, and see him with the camera in hand.

He pulls halfway out of you, and the camera shutters yet again. “Look at the way you grip me, christ. Just milking my cock. He starts pounding into you again, hips slapping against yours.

Matty has a steady rhythm, it feels so fucking good for you. You keep clenching around him, and you’re close again from your other orgasm. “Faster, sir. Please.” You jut your lips out. “Wanna cum.” Matty laughs.

“Thought you wanted to be my toy, huh? Sit so pretty for me and take it? That’s dirty, you know, babe. Toys don’t get to cum.” He pouts at you in faux sympathy, eyes casting down towards you. The leather couch was making you sweat now, his gaze piercing through you.

“Please, Sir. Need it so bad, I’ll be so good. I’ll be quiet.” You whined, hips coming off the couch before Matty’s strong hand pushes you back down. Letting your head fall back, a gasp escapes your mouth again when his hand attaches to your clit.

“You’re greedy. Already came once and begging like a slut for it again.” He presses down on your clit, thrusting into you harder. He does go faster, speeding up his rhythm. Your stomach turns and you know you won’t be able to hold it.

Matty’s hand comes to rest lightly on your throat, pressing his thumb into one of the hickeys. “Cum for me, sweetheart. Let go.”

You do, with a shout so loud Matty doesn’t even bother covering it. He’s too focused on reaching his own release. He speeds up even more, riding you through your orgasm and making you overstimulated. “Fuck, fuck. Good girl. Where can I cum, baby?”

“My mouth.” You say with no hesitation, and he pulls out of you cunt. Matty moves up slightly, and pumps his cock above you. You open your mouth and stick your tongue out, and the visual makes him cum. He throws his head back with a loud moan, letting his cock hit your bottom lip.

You swallow, holding his eye contact. He curses under his breath, picking the camera back up and taking a picture of you like that. Then, one with his thumb pulling on your bottom lip before he wipes the corner of your mouth with it.

You giggle. “You taste good.” You watch him step off the couch, searching for your clothes. He finds your underwear and bra, bringing it back over to you. When he realizes there’s nothing to clean you up with, he leans down and licks your cunt.

You shriek out. “Could say the same about how you taste.” He winks at you, handing you your clothes so you can get dressed. He goes to find his own and do the same. You hide your face in your hands.

“No way you’re shy, you just had my dick inside of you.” He rolls his eyes, throwing his shirt back on. Tone full of amusement and disbelief.

“Doesn’t mean you have to be vulgar.” You joke, strapping back into your leggings. The anxiety about Lexi and his band mates is hitting you now, but there’s no going back. “Thank you.”

He looks over, a wide grin on his face. Matty grabs your shoulders. “No, thank you. Best photoshoot of my career.” He walks over to the door, and you take long strides to catch up with him.

You smooth a hand over your hair and straighten out your clothes. It’s no use though, because when you open up the door and walk into the hall with Matty, they all know.

Lexi and the guys all stood there, knowing smiles on their faces. George even starts laughing when you both walk out. Adam’s head hung with his shoulders shaking, and Ross a smirk on his face.

“Think Matty got the all inclusive session, then?” George says, causing the rest of the group to burst out in laughter. You shrink in on yourself, looking over to see Matty’s grin. Lexi shoots you a look. A timid smile, but her eyes say ‘we’ll talk later.’

Matty giggles, humming. “Mhmm, don’t be jealous.” He shrugs looking between Lexi and you. “Contact us again for another shoot, then? We love your work, and would love to come back.” His eyes go to your face for the last bit, and you nod.

They all say their goodbyes, exchanging handshakes and stares. When they walk out, Matty catches your eye again through the window. Waving, and pulling out a cigarette.

…

Later, when you’re cleaning up the studio, you find a folded piece of paper under the front desk. A 10 digit phone number, a small heart and the words Matty scrawled under it.

#divider cred: @cafekitsune #matty healy x y/n #matty healy x you #matty healy x oc #matty healy blurb #matty healy oneshot #matty healy fluff #matty x reader #matty healy x reader #matty healy smut #matty healy fic #matty healy x fem reader #matty healy x fem!reader #photographer!reader

[tonguepiercedanyway75]

Sharing favorites // Matty Healy x reader

Summery: After your night shift you can finally spend the morning with your boyfriend

Warnings: fluff, smut

Masterlist

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You are waiting for the clock to strike 7. You‘ve been in the hospital for twelve hours. It’s time to go home, go to Matty‘s house and just drop into his arms. You’re tired and annoyed and you desperately need sleep. You’ve been doing rounds the whole night, doing Stiches and cleaning wounds. No operation. Nothing.

It’s like being at the beginning of your career all over again. Being an intern. Nevertheless it’s what you always wanted to do, but right now it’s finally time to leave this place. You get into your car after changing into sweatpants and a hoodie from Matty.

It’s a 20 minute drive which feels like a 20 hour drive when the tiredness is hitting you. Matty still didn’t send you a ‘good morning’ text which means he’s probably dead asleep. The pictures of Matty being cuddled up in bed gives you a warm feeling on the inside.

After what felt like an eternity you finally arrived at his house. You grab your purse, search for the house keys and enter while being the most quiet you’ve ever been, not wanting to wake him. You slip out of your shoes, hang up your coat and make your way to the bedroom. The blinds are shut in every room, not letting the slightest bit of sunshine in, those lighting conditions make the 7am morning feel like a 11pm night.

The bedroom is as dark as the rest of the house but you can still see Matty clearly. He’s laying on his stomach, his face hidden in his pillow while his dog Allen is right next to him. Your heart melts at the sight of your two favorite things.

You lift the blanket and get greeted with the warmth of Matty’s body heat. His arm finds your back as you snuggle your face into the crook of his neck. This is everything for you. Sleep is onto you but it seems as Matty is waking up. “Morning love,” he mumbles into your skin while giving you a kiss on your cheek.

You hum in response, too tired to answer him. “You need anythin’?” You shake your head and nuzzle into him even more.

“Missed you,” you get out before closing your eyes again. You feel completely at ease around him. Matty notices that you can’t keep your eyes open and your breath steadies. He chuckles at your attend to roll him on top of you. “Be my weighted blanked,” you whisper against him.

He does as you wish and Matty immediately feels your weight shift under him. You like cuddling like this. His head is tucked under your chin, arms needling their way behind your back to hold you close. “Sleep well love,” he whispers, the comfort and security of Matty being so close helps you drift off into a light rest. He gives your head a few more kisses, making sure you’re asleep before falling asleep as well.

It’s only 4 hours later when Matty awakes still on top of you. He looks at the clock next to his bed. 11:32. It’s always like this when you have Night Shift, only that sometimes you’re alone in bed. You can sleep way better and longer when you feel your boyfriends presence.

It was an adjustment for Matty at first because he usually gets up between 5 and 6 am. But since you’ve been together he loves nothing more then staying in bed with you.

He gets up, leaves the curtains shut and gets up to give his dog food, he also leaves the door to the garden open so Allen can knock himself out at the fresh air.

After he gets himself a glass of water he goes into your shared bedroom again. You’re laying on your side, hugging the blanket tight around your body. He smiles and picks up his laptop from the drawer and settles next to you.

You introduced him to this mind blowing series, Criminal minds. It’s the series you always watch and the perks of having this many seasons is, it doesn’t end. It feels like you’ll never reach the end.

You are currently on season 9, but since watching without the other is a no-go Matty skips to the start of the last episode you watched. 5 minutes in the series and you snuggle against him, laying your head on his chest. His heartbeat is steady. He looks down at you and removes your messy hair from your face, then he kisses your temple.

Another 5 minutes and you slowly open your eyes. You’re still tired but you know you have the day off and that thought eases you. You groan lightly and sit up. You cover your face in your hands and Mattys hand finds your back, rubbing up and down your lower back. “You sleep okay?” He asks and you let out a quiet yes. You slept good but a little too short.

“How did you sleep?” You ask and turn around to face the man whose curls hang in his face and whose eyes look as tired as yours. His stubbles are more visible, since he hasn’t shaved for a couple of days.

“Like a Baby,” he says and gives you a silly smile. Your favorite characters voice raises your attention to the screen. You slap his chest lightly, “what was that for?”

“Did you continue without me?” That would be just cruel but Matty turns the screen and it shows you a scene you recognize. “What do you think love? Would never do that.” He reaches for your hand and kisses every one of your knuckles.

After you come from the bathroom, he settles the laptop to the side and pulls you onto his lap. You feel his erection through his boxers, but it doesn’t stop him from lifting you higher up his body making you laugh. “Matty what are you doing.” You’re now sitting on his chest but he grips your hips tighter, you whine. “Lift your hips and sit on my face.”

You blush at the direct demand and who are you to say no to the man who looks so sweet right now. You hover over his face but feel a little nervous to crush him so you hesitate.

“Get down baby,” he says. “Okay.” And with a gulp, you allow your hips to lower, your knees slipping on the silky sheets which open your legs wider to give your boyfriend better access.

“Like that, good,” Matty cooes and patiently coaxes your body all the way down with encouraging hands until his mouth attaches itself to your clit, encouraging whimpers to leave your mouth.

“Jesus- Matty,” your hands grip onto his hair and you pull slightly, earning a growl from your boyfriend. “Not Jesus,‘s just me.”

Your hips start to grind down, meeting his tongue to chase your high. You let your eyes roll to the back of your head while Matthew never stops. He purrs, sucking your clit between his lips.

Making you come is one thing. Tasting you is another. Your back arches and your fingers pull on his hair. Matty grips your thighs tighter. “Matt- baby,” you moan. He is obsessed with you, with your scent, your taste, your moans, with being the first ever person to ever touch you like this, to make you feel so good.

Pleads leave your mouth, “Oh, my god—” you cut yourself off with a languid moan, rolling your head to the back while closing your eyes. He groans in approval as your hands card through his hair, moving one hand to slide affectionately up and down your thighs, to feel your relax more and more.  

“Fucking obscene,” he mutters as he feels you let go around his tongue, “my favorite taste.” Matty licks you clean before pulling you down. You close your eyes and kiss him, tasting yourself on his tongue and lips. You keep your eyes closed, too tired to open them. The 4 hours of sleeping getting to you.

“You with me?” He asks and nudges you a little, you shake your head ‘no’ which makes him chuckle. He strokes your hair while holding you close, rubbing your back soothingly. “Have to clean you up baby, ‘be right back.”

He picks up a wet towel from the bathroom and cleans your lower body, you hiss at the contact with you clit and he apologizes. “So pretty,” he wipes your inner thighs and throws the towel into the laundry basket.

“I love you,” you say as he settles next to you and picks up the laptop again. He leans down to kiss you. God, you love kissing him. His lips are made for you. “I love you too,” he tells you.

You both watch the next episode of criminal minds in bed, cuddled up, sharing lots of kisses during. At some point you finally get up and begin the day, until you fall asleep at the exact same spot.

#matty healy #matty healy fluff #matty healy smut #matty healy imagine #matty healy oneshot #the 1975 #the 1975 smut #the 1975 fic #matty healy x you

[cows-wearing-my-sweater]

eternal summer [part one]

part two: [soon]

word count: 2207 warnings: none ! notes: will get part two done as soon as i can, particularly if you guys seem to enjoy this <3 please always lmk your thoughts, don't be shy !!

You met him in the wintertime; he was all grey smoke and black coats and pale fingers blushed with red from the cold air. You had been at Charli’s house (practically a second home to you after years of friendship) watching the late-December snowfall while basking in the warm comfort of her living room, when a loud, almost obnoxious knocking came from the front door. Charli was quick to get up, rolling her eyes good-naturedly and simply saying, “It’s just Matty.” 

The two of them stood in her doorway talking, Matty undoubtedly looking for George. Your gaze returned to the soft and snowy scene outside the window, allowing you to become lost in thought. Matty, you said in your head. Best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend. Enough degrees of separation away for you to be vaguely aware of him, but not near enough for you to have met him before. Charli had plenty of stories to tell, of course, but that was about it. Curly-haired singer with a loud personality, a soft heart, and, according to several anecdotes you’d previously heard, someone who should be filed under Men Who Can Do You No Good. You had your doubts about the sources you’d gotten that from, though. 

You were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard Charli say to Matty, “Yeah, she’s just over there.” 

You turned to look over at the doorway. Matty was craning his neck slightly, as if trying to get a good look at you over on the couch. You sat further up and waved to him. “Hey.” It was your first time really seeing him, and you did your best to take in as many details as possible without blatantly staring: the few stray curls that escaped the rest of his neatly gelled hair, his slight stubble, the small silver hoop that hung from his ear, the way his eyes crinkled when he returned your smile.

“Hi.” He paused, giving you just a moment to collect yourself again. “I’m Matty.” He sounded almost awkward, like he wanted to say something witty or cool but had completely drawn a blank. You told him your name, he nodded, he said something to Charli, he left. That was that, completely (maybe disappointingly) unmonumental. 

Charli sat down next to you on the couch again. “Did he seem tense to you?” she asked.

You gave a noncommittal shrug of your shoulders. “Dunno. You know him better than I do.” Although, a very small part of you couldn’t help but briefly wonder what it would be like if you did know him better. What if you could tell when he was tense, what if you knew all the tells of when he was anxious, what if you could read his mind and he could read yours? You stopped before you got even further ahead of yourself. You sound insane, you told yourself. It was enough to make you decide to push Matty out of your thoughts for the foreseeable future. Besides, it would be quite a while before you’d have to see him again.

Except it wasn’t. Just two weeks later, you found yourself back in Charli’s home, the familiar air smelling of pine and cinnamon from the lit candles. Charli had decked the house out in fairy lights and colorful, sparkling ornaments – it was a Christmas party, after all. “Party” was a bit of an overstatement, though. Really it was just you, her, George, and the other three guys, with Carly accompanying Adam. 

Your eyes landed on Matty almost immediately after walking inside. This time, instead of the drab coat and slicked-back hair, he was drowning in a fuzzy, oversized jumper and had let his curls loose. They framed his face perfectly, and something about seeing him in this setting – warm, cozy, inviting – made your heart briefly skip a beat.

Halfway through the night you were perfectly at home with the group of people who had been near strangers just hours before. Everybody had drinks in hand, conversation was flowing with ease, and a warm glow seemed to illuminate the whole room. In your slightly tipsy state, you allowed yourself to sneak furtive glances in Matty’s direction – what harm could come from a little crush on him? He was cute, he was funny, he was intriguing. It would be weird for me to not be interested, you reasoned with yourself. It was just then that your thoughts were interrupted by yet another reason to keep him on your mind: his fucking fingers. The flicker of his lighter had drawn your eyes to his hands and the way they fidgeted with a cigarette before pressing it to his lips. Matty’s face was briefly highlighted in a bloom of yellow-orange, before the flame went out and was replaced by wisps of grey smoke. You blatantly stared  at his index and middle fingers as they held the cigarette to his lips, then studied the shape those lips took when he blew the smoke out to the side, wondering how they would feel against yours, soft and hungry. 

At this thought, you stood and excused yourself to the kitchen, deciding that another drink was in order. You were almost certain you could feel Matty’s eyes burning into your back as you walked away, but you weren’t sure if it was wishful thinking or anxious paranoia on your part. 

The sound of conversation from the other room was slightly muted in the kitchen, but it wasn’t long before you heard familiar footsteps behind you. You turned around, already knowing it was Charli. “He hasn’t got a girlfriend, you know,” she said with a sly smile.

You furrowed your brow in feigned confusion. This would not become something she could hold over you. “Sorry, who are we talking about?”

“Matty, obviously!” she exclaimed loudly. You gave her a warning glance, petrified that her voice would carry and your little crush would have to come to a swift end.

“I’m not interested.” Charli raised her eyebrows at your words. “Well, maybe I’m attracted, but I’m not interested!”

Your friend knew you well enough to understand that the topic was moot. There would be no changing your mind – at least, not that night. Charli began to sidle out of the kitchen, but not without saying, “I’ll keep my eye on you two,” in a teasing voice.

.♡♡♡.♡♡♡.♡♡♡.

And then it’s summer. Everything is the same, but now there’s a gold filter over it all. Everything is different, but the air still smells the way it did in the summer five years ago. Summer is a constant. Time will always pass and everything will always keep moving, but when the time is right, the sun will always warm your skin, and if you try hard enough, your skin starts to glow the way it did when you were six years old. 

One thing you’ve learned since May, when the weather really got warm and the sunsets began to linger a little while longer, is that Matty Healy is luminous in the summertime. Your interactions with him have become more frequent since that December, giving you the opportunity to watch him metamorphosize. Without you particularly realizing, lunch dates and movies and late night drives with him have become a part of your weekly schedule. Charli had been determined to work her magic, and while no romantic endeavors had occurred, her set-ups for the two of you had undoubtedly helped form one of the most meaningful friendships in your life.

You’re definitely over that stupid crush. 

There’s no time to contemplate your previous budding infatuation anyway, because a car has pulled up outside your home and the driver is incessantly honking on the horn. Speak of the devil. You grab your tote bag filled with a towel, snacks, sunscreen, sunglasses, and a paperback book and dash out of your front door, sandals hitting the ground loudly. 

Both the driver’s and passenger’s doors of Matty’s car have been thrown open. Alison by Slowdive is playing softly through the car speakers as you slide into your seat and place your bag on the floor between your legs. Matty raises his sunglasses up away from his eyes, pushing some of his hair out of his face. “You ready?”

“Mhm.” You have to bite your tongue in order to not say more, seeing as your heart rate has increased tenfold at the sight of Matty. Every button of his white short-sleeve shirt is undone, the collar hanging loosely around his neck. His tattooed arms are sunkissed, almost golden, as if a goddess of the sun blessed him with her touch. Glimpses of the tattoo across his chest peek out from his undone shirt, contrasting with the bright fabric. You’re filled with the insatiable desire to remove the shirt and press your fingertips to the ink, the only barrier left between you and his bones being that thin layer of skin. You could melt into each other.

There’s not much need for small talk today. Soon enough you’re speeding down an empty rural road, windows down and music loud. Matty is rhythmically tapping on the wheel to the beat of the music, while you reach your arm out the window and let yourself become enveloped by the roaring warm wind. Occasionally you turn your attention back to Matty and the soft smile that appears on his face as he mouths the words to the song. He could smile at you and the world could crumble down at your feet and you wouldn’t care; all you can see is Matty.

After a lengthy drive, a sparkling expanse of water comes into view, the sandy beach completely deserted save for two figures you can see in the distance – Charli and George. You have a feeling that this beach day is another one of Charli’s attempts to set you up with Matty, and for once you don’t feel so eager to protest; not when his eyes are pools of honey and his cheeks are dusted pink from the sun and his perfectly sculpted figure is right in front of you like this.

When you and Matty have carried your things down to the beach where Charli and George have placed their bags, the two of them are already down in the water; Charli’s loud laughter carries up to the sand where you stand with Matty. “They’re really cute together, aren’t they?” you say wistfully, almost to yourself.

“Yeah… yeah, they are.” You’ve discarded the large cotton shirt you were using as a cover-up for the black two-piece you had beneath it, and Matty’s eyes are trained on you. A pause before it hits you:

He’s staring he’s staring he’s staring fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck–

Matty clears his throat. His face is burning bright red now, and you’re quite certain he hasn’t formed a sunburn this quickly. “Sunscreen?” he says weakly.

“Sorry?”

“Uhm, would you like help with your sunscreen, I mean.”

“Oh!” Your mouth takes a moment to catch up with your brain. “Yes, please!.” You dig around in your bag for the sunscreen and hand it to him before turning around, your back facing him.

The cool lotion on your back applied by his warm and calloused hands nearly makes you gasp. You bite down on your lower lip and tense your shoulders, though the goosebumps across your skin give you away regardless. Matty’s hands work the lotion into your skin, fingers practically massaging your shoulders. Your eyelids flutter close, and before you can stop yourself, you let out a soft, contented sigh. Matty’s fingers pause and your eyes shoot open.

Fuck.

It wasn’t even that bad don’t worry it’s fine don’t worry–

Fuck.

Matty quickly finishes applying the sunscreen and takes his hands off you, allowing you to face him once again. His lips are parted almost imperceptibly and you’re sure he can hear your thoughts racing – a mortifying idea, as all you can think about is silencing his next words with your mouth on his, hungry like he’s fresh fruit, letting him drip down your lips to your chin.

“Are you two having a moment?”

You nearly jump out of your skin. You didn’t even notice Charli making her way up the beach toward you. A knowing look is on her face as she picks up a towel and wraps it around herself, telepathically screaming “Tell me fucking everything” at you. 

“No, we’re just–” You start, but Matty is quick to interrupt.

“We just realized we forgot something in my car, actually! Come help me find it?” Matty looks at you pointedly, nearly begging for you to go along with this. And who are you to say no?

“Yeah, yeah, of course! Tell George we’ll be right back, alright?” you tell Charli.

Before she can get a word in edgewise, Matty takes your hand in his and adamantly whisks you away. You wave to Charli, who’s watching with an open-mouthed smile, before returning your attention to the task of keeping up with Matty’s fast pace. His grip on your hand, the serious expression on his face, the white shirt slipping down his shoulder – you’re suddenly faced with the unsavory realization that you’re not, nor have you ever been, over that stupid crush.

On the contrary, you’re utterly fucked.

#took awhile to write this and idk for sure how i feel about it now but life goes on yall #matty healy fic #matty healy x reader #matty healy fluff #matty healy #fluff #naomi's writing !

[imagine-that-100]

Chicken Shop Date | Part 7 |

By @imagine-that-100​​ and @alovesreading​​

Description: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You and your best friend Amelia came up with a very simple idea of taking celebrities on awkward chicken shop dates, and somehow, it’s managed to become both of your jobs. In the past, you’ve found sitting across from some of the biggest stars on the planet and eating chicken nuggets easy. But then Amelia manages to score you a date with the man who you’ve been obsessed with since you were nineteen; Matty Healy.

Word Count: 36.9k

A/N: Bestiesssss, we’re back with a monster of a chapter. Hope you’re ready for smut, angst, and fluff. This brings it allllllllll! Honestly can’t wait to see what you all think of this one, please give us all of your reactions as we love to see it and it keeps us motivated to write. We have a little cameo in this chapter, she was already going to be in it before anything happened irl so yeah, funny how things turn out hahaha. Thank you for being patient and sticking with us, we really hope you enjoy!  x

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 |

| N’s Masterlist | A’s Masterlist |

~*~*~*~ January 1st 2023 ~*~*~*~

Waking up in his arms feels like something out of a dream.

You feel warm inside and out, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips feeling his slow breaths hitting the back of your neck. You faintly remember coming back to his and the concrete walls surrounding you confirm that your hazy memory isn’t betraying you.

The light peeking through the windows burns harshly even through your closed eyes but it isn’t enough to bother you when you’re in such bliss to be waking up next to Matty. Or rather, in front of him, since he’s got his chest pressed against your back with an arm wrapped around your waist which has you flush against him.

A hum of content falls from your lips as you relish and shuffle impossibly closer to him, your movement making him stir in his sleep and open his eyes a few seconds later.

Matty smiles seeing the back of your head the second he opens his eyes, nuzzling his face on the back of your neck and pressing soft kisses on your skin to let you know he’s awake.

A string of giggles leaves you when feeling his curls tickling your neck and his plush lips on your skin causing an eruption of butterflies in your belly.

“Good morning baby,” Matty greets with a smile on his face, one that you can feel in the crook of your neck where he finds a place to hide and continues to drop kisses.

His raspy morning voice makes something inside you shift, and combined with the feeling of his fingers clutching you tighter, you start letting thoughts run around your head that you know you shouldn’t be having this early in the morning.

It gets worse when his fingers let go of your waist and start to wander, at the same time as his mouth lazily leaves a trail of kisses down to your shoulders. You feel his fingertips tracing to the side of your stomach and lowering until it reaches your hip, the smile on your face growing when the faint touch seems to electrify your body awake.

And then his mouth goes retracing its path from your shoulders up your neck whilst his fingers teasingly ghost from your hip to the middle of your belly, falling down until it reaches your lower stomach and your breath hitches in your throat rather loudly in the silence you’ve fallen inside his room.

Still hiding on your neck, you can feel him smirking, not to mention his hot and heavy breath getting closer to your ear where he whispers, “How are you feeling?” as if he doesn’t already know the answer.

Humming, you let yourself get lost in his presence. The pads of his fingers rubbing circles on your lower stomach which have your body reacting at the growing desperation of feeling him everywhere else. Like the rest of your skin is jealous he’s concentrating solely on that spot.

“Good,” You eventually reply, but knowing that if you need anything, and that he’ll most likely give it to you if you ask. So you add, “A bit horny though.”

Matty chuckles into your neck. A bit, an understatement. He had felt your hips writhe just before he had asked you, his dick twitching in his Calvins at your noticeable response to him.

“Right,” He hums and starts pressing his lips on your neck again, only this time they are more wet and open mouthed kisses than just simple pecks, “Only a bit?”

You nod, biting your bottom lip to not make any sound when you feel him start sucking on a certain spot in your neck which he had taken a mental note yesterday that you enjoyed.

He grows more intently at bruising your neck in that spot in particular, making you take a deep breath so you don’t give into making noises just yet. But he knows exactly what you’re doing so in a swift movement, he gets a hold of your leg and lifts it up enough for him to fit one of his legs in between yours, pushing his hips forwards so you feel him growing harder. And he can’t help but silently congratulate himself when you finally let out a gasp that turns into a mewl that satisfies him for a few seconds.

Matty’s fingers have a grip on the plush flesh of your inner thigh, the pressure is delicious combined with the rolling of your hips as you’re both looking to keep the friction going, and his mouth continuing its attack on the skin of your neck has your eyes rolling back in pleasure.

You’re about to complain when his fingers let go of your leg, letting it fall over his leg in between yours, but then you feel the running up your inner thigh until it grazes the edge of your underwear. You just can’t help but let out a high pitched moan which is pleading for him to touch you right where you need him.

It’s lucky Matty has grown to read your mind, your sounds, your body language, because he gives you just what you want by pushing the fabric of your underwear aside and runs his fingers up and down your slick.

“F-fuck,” You let out a strangled curse at the slight pressure he applies when he finds your clit, his fingers moving agile and easily since you’re already wet for him.

Feeling him growing harder, pressed against your arse makes you even more turned on, and the groan he lets out in your ear goes straight down to your core too.

After biting your earlobe, he teases you further by asking, “What do you need, baby?” as if your throbbing cunt wasn’t clearly clenching around nothing.

“Your fingers.” You answer breathlessly, half lidded eyes from the pleasure he was giving you.

You hear him hum, pleased with your answer before his fingers curl to go inside you. Easily getting two in, knuckles deep, to stretch you out heavenly.

The noise of his fingers pumping in and out of you mixed with your breathless moans and gasps and his groans made for a pornographic scene but after a minute, you need more of him. You can feel his hips bucking into your arse in search of relief and the tease of his dick pressed against you was driving you insane.

So in between your ragged breaths, you let him know, “Baby- I need you. Need you to fuck me.”

The request unravels something inside him, a guttural groan leaving his throat and his fingers leaving you in a haste.

You whine at the loss of him, but your noise is hushed by his fingers coming up to your mouth for you to suck clean. You do as you’re silently instructed, Matty watching you over your shoulder as you sink your mouth onto his slick wet fingers with his mouth falling agape. You make a show of how much you enjoy tasting yourself on his fingers, which ends up with him using his other hand to grab a fistful of your hair and pull on it so your head is thrown back at an angle good enough for his lips to crash against yours.

You swallow a loud moan that falls from his lips when your tongues meet and he tastes you on your tongue, his hand tracing down your front, pulling his borrowed top up exposing more of your skin until he once again finds your hips. Then he completely removes his hand from your body so he can pull down his boxers and free his hard on, you’re pushing your underwear down your hips and quickly pulling it down your legs and shedding yourself off it.

He breaks the kiss to let out a hiss of pleasure, finally feeling the soft skin of your arse freely pressed against his hard cock.

Helping him a little, you lift your leg up so he can position himself better in between your legs. Your cheeks pressed together as he guides his hard dick up and down your folds, gathering your arousal and mixing it with the precum already dripping from his angry red head.

He giggles when he taunts you by rubbing the head of his cock on your clit, making you shiver and squirm from the desperate need to have him fill you up.

“Matty-” You choke out in a beg, feeling yourself clenching around nothing again and growing impatient.

The need he has to feel you wrapped tight around him again interrupts his thoughts of even continuing to tease you, so he properly lines himself up with your entrance and pushes forward to stretch you out and allow himself in again.

Cries of pleasure fall from both of you, creating a gorgeous harmony to your ears. The angle is something else, you can feel him so deep inside you and he feels like you’re trying to swallow him whole with how tight you are around him.

He pulls his hips back slightly, cautious of going too further back since it feels like with the tightness of your walls you could push him out, and pushes back in again until his hips are pressed flush against your arse.

The pace is set after a few more thrusts, intently and not too fast, hard enough for you to feel him press against that spot that drives you mad with each movement of his hips, drawing loud moans from you.

Praising you for how good you feel, he keeps going. The bed starts moving with you, your arousal wetting where you met and showing through the noises it causes every time your skin meets.

A thin coat of sweat appears on your skin as you keep going, your hand coming to fist the sheets next to you in an attempt to keep you grounded as you feel like the more the knot tightening in your lower belly, the more you lose grasp of reality.

Matty’s hand came behind your leg to push it up so he had more range of movement to push his hips forward and that is the thing which makes you both grow even louder. You have to press your face on the pillow to drown your moans, eventually having to turn your head so you can catch some air.

You’re clenching so hard around him, it’s driving him insane and the messy moans and groans he lets out he doesn’t even have the mind to think about. It makes everything for you so much better, not only is he making your head spin, knowing he’s feeling just as much pleasure makes your skin grow hotter.

In between choked out moans, you let him know you are about to tip over the edge, “Baby, I’m so close- F-feels so good!”

Your praise makes him grow even more intently to make you cum, so snaking his arm over your leg, he reaches down until he finds your clit and starts rubbing it, adding enough pressure to have you seeing stars.

“Oh fuck!” You let out loudly right before you cum, legs trembling as he continues to rub on your swollen clit and thrusting in and out of your slick cunt.

You’re clenching so hard around him, he can’t hold back any longer and cums hard, thrusts going sloppy as your tight walls milk him out through his orgasm.

He continues to ride your highs out, both of you coming back to your senses and it’s only when he pulls out of you that he realises a mistake you both hadn’t noticed.

“Fuck…” Matty curses under his breath when he notices he’s not got to shed himself of a condom because he forgot to even put one on.

For a few seconds you remain blissfully unaware, still tingling with adrenaline and excitement, you just think he’s cursing after the wave of pleasure and you giggle to yourself. But then he’s pulling his boxers up and running off the bed to the bathroom like he’s been shocked back to life and it leaves you confused.

That is until you feel it. You feel his cum slowly dripping out of you.

And when he walks through his bedroom door again, with a damp small towel in hand, you narrow your eyes at him like you’ve caught him red handed.

“Matthew.” You scorn with a low voice and he gives you a childish side smile like he’s trying to act innocent.

He lifts the sheets up from your body, showing you still wearing his shirt but your bottom half bare and sprawled on top of the bed.

“Sorry,” He apologises lightheartedly, kneeling on the bed until he’s hovering above you and leans down to press a kiss on your lips, “I didn’t realise.”

All you can do is giggle, because you hadn’t either, it’s not a surprise it felt so good. Thankfully you’re on birth control and you knew you had only been with each other so this wasn’t a matter to absolutely go insane about.

“It’s okay.” You mumble against his lips, stealing another kiss before he could get to cleaning you up like he was intending to.

Cupping his jaw, you break the kiss but leave him with a few pecks before you pat his cheek and instruct him to, “Go on.”

He steals one last cheeky kiss before looking down and doing what he was meant to do, which ends up being delayed as he seems entranced by the way he sees his seed spilling out of you slowly.

You’re watching him intently, biting your bottom lip not to laugh at the way he’s staring, but then a fair few more seconds go by and he’s completely frozen in his place so you have to snap him out of it.

“Matty!” You exclaim with the hint of a laugh behind it, which ends up spilling from your lips when his eyes shoot up to look at you and then back down and he ends up clearing his throat to nod.

“Sorry.” He apologises again, finally bringing the damp cloth down to clean you up. You hiss at the feeling of it brushing against your sensitive clit and his jaw falls when you swallow a moan.

Concentrating particularly hard, he finishes his task a minute later, once again leaving for the bathroom not without kissing you once more but this time reminding you, “You’re so hot baby.”

That draws another string of laughter from you, entirely amused by his behaviour. You can’t stop the loopy smile that breaks on your face when you watch him hurriedly leave the room like he has no time to waste when you’re around him.

Your heart doubles in size in your chest and as you gather the energy to get up to head to the bathroom yourself. You guess that the next few days with him will look just like this and you must admit, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

~*~*~*~*~*~

You were correct. Making the most of the beginning of January with Matty really did involve a lot of what happened after your date and the morning after. It was rare you ever left each other alone.

In fact, when you weren’t getting better acquainted with each other's bodies, you still didn’t leave each other alone. The first few days you spent solely at Matty’s house, and you both just relaxed into each other's company, but there wasn’t ever really a second you left each other unaccompanied.

If anyone else was in your presence, they would have thought you were both being embarrassingly clingy. Something which in private you absolutely can’t get enough of.

It was just the simple things about being in his presence that made you so happy. When he would lift your legs over his lap and trace soft patterns on your thigh, or him raising his arm so you would cuddle into him as you practically shared one seat on his three seater settee.

You cooked together, watched TV together, showered together, and just chilled out together doing your own things but you were always connected in one way or another. If Matty wanted to go on his PlayStation, your legs would be on his lap and you either watched him play and chatted as he did, or you read one of his books.

Not to mention the way he would lay down and put his head in your lap, or if you were in bed he would cuddle up to you refusing to let you go. You also found that Matty left kisses on you every chance he could. Whether that was a peck on the lips, or a random few placed on your arm or your knee or your stomach. He would basically kiss you any chance he could and then proceed to cuddle you.

One of the things you personally thought was the cutest thing about him, is that when you were getting ready to go to sleep each night, Matty would always interrupt you doing your skincare. At first he was just being a dick, squeezing or scooping more product out than you needed and then smearing it on your face to mess with you. But then you would start to use the excess on him so it wasn’t going to waste and that was how every night you started doing each other's skincare. Something which always had the both of you smiling goofily at each other and giggling until it hurt your stomach.

Everything was just so mundane and domestic. You let yourself indulge the thought of this being something more and you secretly really loved it. But you weren’t going to let yourself get too in your head about that. You’re enjoying yourself and you’re certain that Matty is too so you’ll wait for the conversation to be brought up, you’re in no rush to label anything. You’re just happy you’re along for the ride.

On the 3rd, Matty had his friend Sam drop Mayhem and Allen round for the day and you got to meet them both and they were the goodest boys. Despite Mayhem being fucking huge, he’s the softest boy and was so cute. Allen is just as good and it was a real shame when Matty got Sam to pick the both of them up the day after.

You’re sure he only did it so he could get you back into bed because whenever either of you would start something, one of the dogs would interrupt wanting attention. After the fifth time of it happening, you could see Matty slowly losing his patience so it wasn’t a shock that after the dogs left, you very quickly found yourself being undressed in his kitchen. And after bruising your knees for him, the both of you let desperation get the best of you, neither of you even attempted trying to make it to bed or even his settee in the next room.

On the 5th, George and Charli invited the both of you to their house, in the day this time, and you got to see it free of people socialising. You had a really nice day with them, Charli once again teasing you about Matty, just as much as Matty does himself, but you know she’s coming from a good place and seeing her and George together in their home filled your heart with so much joy.

A relationship like theirs is what you’ve been striving for. Their happiness is unmatched and the way they look at each other when they think no one else is looking is beyond heartwarming. You love them together and you can see just how much they adore each other.

The day after that was slightly different from the rest. You went for a walk around the area where he lives, and went out and bought yourselves some lunch at a cafe before heading back. It had been a really lovely day, but later on when you were lying down together and you were holding hands, your fingers intertwined, and you noticed a small scar on his knuckle. And when you asked about it, you almost regretted doing so immediately, but only because it looked like it hurt so much for him to tell you the story behind it.

Matty on the other hand, once he got through telling you, was happy that you finally knew about him and about his past. He hates the story, knowing all the consequences of what happened back when he got the scar, but he’s just happy you finally know pretty much everything about his past, relationship wise.

Throughout the time it took for him to tell you, he was apologising for getting emotional about it, as if he wasn’t explaining personal things that weren’t easy to get off his chest. You would hate to think that he would ever feel the need to apologise for crying about something so upsetting that happened to him. You kept assuring him that it was okay and you wiped away his tears when he didn’t do it himself sometimes and you were there to listen, and it just made you believe that you got to know him on a deeper, more intimate level.

You understand why he told you, you think he mostly wanted to warn you that he sometimes still had nightmares about it. And he told you that sometimes they wrecked him so badly that he had to call Flo to make sure that she was alright to calm his tears and erratic heartbeat before he could even try to go back to sleep. He explained that thankfully they were infrequent now but it was another reason that made it more difficult for him to sleep which is why he stayed up late a lot of the time.

It made you want to wrap him in bubble wrap and protect him at all costs. You could definitely tell that there was some factor of worry with him telling you, as if his trauma would somehow put you off him which it didn’t in the slightest. It just made you closer and that night you fell asleep with Matty cuddling you possibly the tightest he ever had before.

By the 7th, it felt bittersweet that a week had passed already and you were leaving for LA tomorrow and Matty was about to head off on tour. But you made the most of it. Matty made a show of making you cum on his tongue twice, leaving you aching to be filled and fucked, before he gave into your wishes and buried himself deep inside you over and over until you both came undone together.

After that glorious morning, the both of you reluctantly left the sanctuary of his bedroom and his house to go back to your flat and pack your things ready for LA. It didn’t take you long, you were there no longer than an hour and a half between Matty stopping you from completing your tasks with various make out sessions that he tried to turn into more but you only stopped him from letting it go any further because you knew if you didn’t pack everything and check it over twice you would be panicking later.

Thankfully Matty understood and he helped you pack rather excessively for a two day trip but regardless he found you endearing. Once you were done, Matty persuaded you to go back to his, which you agreed to so on route back both of you grabbed a take out.

After eating like kings and queens, you helped Matty pack for his tour. Like with your outfits for the carpet, your stylists were taking them for you, so you just helped him pack his normal clothes along with things he wanted to take. It took a similar amount of time as it did for you to pack as he was only away for 3 days before he was back in London and he would be staying at home for those days instead of on the bus. He would repack before they headed back on the road.

That night, the both of you fucked again until you were breathlessly clutching each other, entirely blissed out. And you tried your best to stay awake as long as you could afterwards just to extend the time you had with him, but, being the grandma you are, were a bit pathetic and fell asleep around midnight.

Time really felt like it had gotten away from you, it didn’t feel like a week had passed at all. For Matty especially, it felt like maybe two days had passed. He wasn’t ready to let you go yet, he wanted to have you cuddled into his chest like you were that last night forever. For a good hour he jut kept looking down at you and kissing the top of your head wondering how fucking lucky he must be for you to want to be wrapped up in bed with him.

It was nights like that where Matty didn’t mind his insomnia. He got to savour the moment for that bit longer which he would be forever grateful for because he truly can’t get enough of you. As you sleep in his arms, he reads a little from the book he could just about reach without disturbing you, but ultimately he ends up on his phone.

It may come back to bite him but he can’t stop himself from taking a selfie of the both of you lying together like that. He takes a few, one he knows you’ll hate because it’s mostly of your sleeping face with his head poking out above it, but then he raises the phone to take some from above, and the last few he kisses your head again.

After getting lost scrolling through twitter and laughing at the various memes the fans have been posting recently, Matty remembers his account that he deactivated almost a month ago now and curses himself for letting it go for so long. He reactivates it and pisses about on it for a while, tweeting a few things and giving it about half an hour before he deactivates once again.

Once he’s bored of that, he decides to make the most of you cuddling up into him again. He puts his phone on charge and turns off the bedside lamp before wrapping both his arms around you and hugging you tighter. The cute little noise you release, which sounds like a content hum, has Matty’s heart aching even more for you. He’s never been so happy to fall asleep beside someone before.

Waking up the next morning is blissful. Matty’s arm is loosely wrapped around your waist and your senses are completely overcome by him. It was difficult to accept that this would be the last time for a while after waking up to him every day the past week. So you savour it, you don’t get out of bed or even try to move, you just reach for your phone and check your notifications.

When you do, you want to elbow the man beside you awake because the twat had been back on Twitter after you fell asleep. Something which you loved but also slightly hated because you felt like you missed out on him reactivating and seeing something potentially funny, as if you were in bed next to the man himself and have been by his side all week.

When you went onto your phone, you saw screenshots from The 1975 update accounts you follow on there on your anonymous account, and saw that Matty had tweeted.

ok I reactivated so I didn’t loose this, honestly, culturally important account I’ll see you after UK tour gunna be mysterious

The spelling mistake made you chuckle, but it’s the next tweet that has you smiling like a fool before you’re even fully awake.

oh and I’ve got myself a missus so there can't be any kissin, cya losers

Seeing them leaves you with a gooey feeling in your stomach despite reminding yourself not to get ahead of yourself. But because it's your last morning you don’t want to just waste it. You twist yourself around and start kissing the man beside you awake. It may be a little selfish of you but you don't want to miss a second and Matty seems more than happy to wake up when he catches sight of you.

That morning, you spent a fair amount of time in bed, both busy and just cuddling, not wanting it to be over so soon. But when midday arrives you know Matty has to start getting ready to go. He’s meeting everyone at 3pm and on the way he said he wanted to drop you off at Amelia's.

When the time came to say goodbye, it felt bittersweet. You were both excited, you for the Golden Globes and Matty for the start of tour, but you didn’t want to say goodbye. There was a lot of hesitation and it was lucky the both of you set off early because it ended up being so drawn out.

You laughed because you were both only going away for a few days and you would be back for their first night in London. After lots of stolen kisses and an incredibly long hug you finally said goodbye to each other and you made your way into your best friend's flat but not before turning back and blowing a kiss to the cute curly haired brunette who wouldn’t take his eyes off you.

The whole afternoon you were texting each other, and it only stopped when they were soundchecking. But even then he sent you a selfie of himself on the stage which was adorable.

Time ends up escaping you though and knowing they go on stage at 8:30 you decide to send him your last message of the evening because you know that by the time he gets off stage you’ll be on the plane.

Hope your first show back goes amazing, can’t wait to watch all the videos x

Matty’s heart goes all mushy reading that and he doesn’t hesitate for a second to reply.

Thank you baby, have a safe flight xx

Please let me know when you’ve arrived safe xxx

And before you knew it you were on the way to LA.

~*~*~*~

When you land in LA after your 11 hour flight, it was around 1am on the 9th. In normal circumstances, this would be fine and you would be off to sleep easily when you got to your hotel by 2am. But no, you slept for 6 hours on the plane so you weren’t even tired when you got in bed.

So it was at that point you went on Twitter and devoured the content from Matty’s first show back on the road. Nothing about it disappointed and it all made you so excited for the London shows in a few days time.

After you caught up on the previous night's events, Matty must have woken up because he texted you back (you messaged him when you landed to tell him you made it safely) and that sparked a conversation. He told you how amazing the show was and how he wished you were there to see some of the stuff he witnessed.

The conversation moves back to your flight over and he wasn’t surprised at all to hear you slept for a while on the plane. And then he realises that it’s almost 5:30 for you and he forces you off the phone to try and get some more sleep.

It’s something which you reluctantly agreed to, and it was a pointless exercise for a few hours because you just ended up reading the book that you bought in dutyfree that you hoped to read on the plane but only managed a chapter. That being said, you did manage to get another hour or so of sleep around 8am, but you were woken up by Amelia at 9am for you both to go down to breakfast and to start your busy day.

Despite your lack of sleep, you and Amelia headed out to spend your only free day sightseeing. You’ve never been to LA before so you were cramming everything tourist wise in you could think of.

You went and found your favourite people on the walk of fame, before heading into the illusion museum where you both took some hilarious pictures. It made you feel like you were teenagers pissing about again on a day off school, it was so much fun.

Next you went to all the landmarks but thankfully you did this on a tour bus so you weren’t wandering around aimlessly for hours. You had the best time pointing things out from various films you'd seen over the years, it got you all giddy, you felt like a child being given free sweets.

A mistake on your and your best friends' part would be that you went and did the long walk up to the Hollywood sign at the hottest hour of the day. The climate in this part of the world is fucking weird when you’re used to constant dreary weather, and you also realised you’re not as fit as you think you are because your muscles burnt once you were finished. That being said, your and Amelia’s pictures with the sign in the background made it totally worth it.

It was your favourite picture that you took all day. The both of you looked so happy in it and your spirits are so high as it really feels like all of your dreams are coming true. You don’t think you’ve ever been so content in your life, and it really shows in your smile. The first thing you did when you got back to a place with signal was send it to Matty.

Speaking of, Matty’s been texting you most of the day and every time your phone went off and caught a glimpse of his name you felt your cheeks heat up a little as a smile took over your face. It seems like a conditioned reaction for you now, even when he’s not flirting, seeing his name light up your phone just makes you happy. All other notifications seem pretty dull in comparison.

Amelia noticed quite a few times in the day and whilst it warmed her heart to see you happy, there was that feeling bubbling inside her that wanted to protect you from things that could be too good to be true. Yes, you and Matty have a lot of chemistry and you seem to get on like a house on fire. But the last thing she wants is for you to get hurt, so she decides that she needs to talk to you about it.

But when she does that evening, she blindsides you with it.

Currently, you’re in Amelia’s hotel room with her beside you in bed and you’re watching a film. It’s no surprise that your eyes are growing heavy now though as you’ve only had 7 hours sleep in the past 48 hours, and you’ve been awake close to 30 hours and doing a lot in your day.

Crashing feels like an understatement but you’re here beside Amelia now as the both of you are trying to keep each other awake so you’re not horrendously jetlagged for your rehearsal day tomorrow or for the awards themselves the night after. Thankfully she’s been good at keeping you awake but nothing will prepare you for the wake up call she’s about to drop on you.

Your eyes close and it’s like your emotions heighten as you get lost in the feeling of your current situation. You’re in Hollywood with your best friend, about to be a host at the red carpet of one of the most prestigious award events, you’ve just had the best room service food you’ve ever had, laying in a cosy and soft bed as the closing credits score to one of your favourite films is playing in the background.

Nothing could ever top this is all you can think, even everything back home seems to be going wonderfully and you’re about to look for some wood to touch so you don’t jinx it for yourself when you hear Amelia’s soft voice call out to you.

“Hey Y/N/N.”

You hum at first but it turns into a, “Yeah?” and you open your eyes slowly with a blissed look on your face as you turn to look at her.

At first you’re thankful she woke you again because it’s only early still, you definitely needed to not fall asleep just yet. But when you see your best friend turn to face you too, tucking her hand under her cheek to get comfortable over the plush pillows on her bed, you realise she wants to chat.

Amelia sighs softly and her face gets serious, and if that wasn’t enough to scare you a bit, it’s the way her tone changes as she starts saying, “I know you don’t want to hear it and I don’t mean it in the way it’s going to sound but if I don’t say it and you get hurt, I won’t forgive myself.”

Instantly, all the joy in your system disappears, dread seeping in for whatever it is she’s about to say. There’s nothing you’re actually expecting but the weight at the pit of your stomach is getting heavier the more time she takes to continue, “What is it Ames?”

“I know you’re having a lot of fun with Matty and I'm really happy for you.” You almost tune out at the mention of his name, but seeing how serious she is you know it’s another one of those times you need to listen to her, “I truly, honestly am.” She reassures with a slight raise of her eyebrows and a nod as if to emphasise her point.

Yet you’re left waiting for the inevitable but, and sure enough, it comes after a fair few seconds, “But I just want you to be careful… I don’t want you to get feelings, or more feelings, when it could just end up being a friends with benefits thing.”

You’re truly at a loss for words as the wheel inside your brain starts to spin and the more seconds pass, the faster it spins.

Amelia has been your best friend for years and whilst she’s had your back unconditionally for what seems like forever now, she’s also always been honest with you. Whether it was you making a stupid mistake that you were too stubborn to admit fault to, an outfit that just didn’t look good, pushing you to say sorry when you had to or you pining over someone who didn’t deserve you at all. She’s always been the one to say it like it was and kindly enough to have you snap out of so many trances.

Never have you ever gotten angry at her, because you’ve learned that she always wants the best for you and even when the truth hurts, at the end of the day you realised she was right and she was watching out for you.

So the first thing you feel deep in your chest isn’t anger, it’s just that pinch of hurt when you know someone says what you don’t want to hear but it’s not something that’s necessarily wrong. But that doesn’t make it any less painful to hear.

“I'm not saying stop,” She continues in slight panic at the change in your facial expression, “I can see how happy he makes you and how happy you seem to make him. And I don’t think he would have had you around for a full week if he was just going to fuck and dump you, but maybe when you go back you could get some clarity on it? Ask him about it maybe? Because the last thing I want is for him to hurt you.”

Her suggestions are thrown in the air as a way to alleviate the growing tension around you now, hanging over you like a dark cloud that tells you it’s about to storm. But even seeing her soft awkward grin as she finishes her thoughts, you can’t seem to properly muster any logical sentences.

Your words get tangled on the tip of your tongue and you stutter for a few seconds before you let out a loud sigh and chuckle meekly, slightly shaking your head in disbelief, “Thanks Ames.”

Amelia winces at your response and the words leave her before you can continue saying anything else, “I don’t want you to hate me for saying it, Y/N/N.”

You know she doesn’t mean it like that so you quickly reassure her that your reaction doesn’t mean that you hate her for saying it, “I don’t. I-,”

Inhaling deeply through your nose before you can give her a deeper insight into what’s been going on between the singer and you. “He’s told me things that I don’t think you’d tell a fuck buddy. Things about his past that he got upset about. I don’t think you cry to your fuck buddies Ames.”

It’s not that you mind her being worried about you, but it wasn’t as if Matty is all you’ve been going on about today. It wasn’t like your world has just stopped and it now solely focuses on him, because it really doesn’t. You’ve maybe mentioned the singer a handful of times today, most of the time telling her that he said hello to her or that he hoped that the both of you were having a nice time.

Nodding slowly, she takes in what you're saying but she recoils into herself a bit when you continue to say, “And I'm not stupid, I'm not getting my hopes up for anything more just yet, I just want to enjoy what it is for now.”

Because Amelia of all people knows that you haven't had anything like this in a long time. You’ve been on your own for probably too long and you feel like some of the joy from the past week has just been invalidated when you weren’t even trying to make it into something it wasn’t.

“I understand. But it’s worth having the conversation.” Amelia explains herself again and you nod taking in every word she says, “I don’t want you to be a placeholder for him. I don’t want you to be someone who’s willing to fuck him and then he fucks you off after the London dates on his tour.”

That has you sighing again, that last half feeling like a gut punch. But you somehow manage to nod, “I know, and I do mean the thank you I said, but I don’t wanna be thinking about that whilst we’re out here okay?”

You were just having such a lovely moment of peace and appreciation for everything turning out better than you could’ve ever expected and now all you can taste is bitterness coating the back of your throat. “It’s not really something you can ask over the phone. And I want this to be a good experience. I don’t wanna be worrying about Matty whilst I’m out here.”

You mean that and even though you have been texting him here and there throughout the day, you’ve made sure to be mindful and enjoy every second you can with your best friend in this amazing opportunity you’ve got.

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t really know when to talk to you about it.” Her eyes show you just how much she didn’t mean to upset you, and they soften when she looks at you still sporting a blank face.

And despite knowing that, it unfortunately doesn’t make that sinking feeling in your chest go away. You feel like the mere mention of it has cracked open a can of worms that can’t be sealed again. The seeds of doubt that you’ve been ignoring to spare yourself the worry are now fixed and prominent. It all feels a little too much when you just wanted to have some fun with a man you’ve always found horrendously attractive.

“I’m only a week into it all Ames.” You remind her and then you also refresh her memories of her and a certain rapper by saying, “I at least gave you a good few weeks with Harry before I told you to watch out.”

She nods remembering then how that had gone, “And whilst I love you for that, I know that you’ve liked Matty for a lot longer than I liked him. A year to a decade… I just don’t want him to hurt you or ruin his music for you.”

She’s so serious it half makes you want to laugh, your best friend regarding the value of the band’s music as much as your heart being mistreated is the tiniest bit amusing to you.

“It won’t. Nothing could ruin his music for me. Not even him.” You promise, staring right into her eyes and then you plead, “I understand but for now I just want it out of my mind please. I appreciate you but please don’t bring this back up whilst we’re here. I want your support back.”

Reaching out for her hand, she meets you in the middle intertwining your fingers and then giving you a firm squeeze. A silent love you, one that you reciprocate by squeezing her hand back.

“Okay. You’ve got it. I am really really happy you’re happy, you know?” Her lips curl up in a cute shy smile, seeing as the matter is still a bit tender but trying to help you relax again.

Not that you can find it in yourself to do it after that but you try to match her smile, failing apparently because you see Amelia’s face falling as she watches you say, “I know.”

So Amelia is soon shuffling closer to you, cradling your head with her hand so you can cuddle against her chest. She leaves a kiss atop of your head and you hum softly as a thank you, which you truly mean - she’s the one person you know you wouldn’t be able to live without and her opinions are not ones you wave off or take lightly.

However, it feels like the night just turned sour, because 5 minutes ago if your best friend cuddled you like she is doing now, you would be entirely content with it. Now, all you want to do is disappear off into your own room and release the sob that’s causing the ball in your throat.

You can’t do that though, because the last thing you need is to let your best friend see that she’s upset you. The first reason being is that you don’t want to make her feel guilty for upsetting you when she’s got your best interests at heart, but mostly because you don’t want her to think that your tears are proof of her being correct. So you hold it in, not letting her think she’s affected you at all.

Sleep has escaped you now entirely, the few minutes of her cuddling you are not peaceful like she probably intended. Instead, you’ve started to overthink what she’s just said, her words repeating in your head like a broken record. It makes your throat tighten even more despite knowing she’s right, but you hate the sour taste in your mouth.

There’s only so long you can last before you get up and go to your room under the false pretence that you’re really tired. Amelia hugs you one more time and again you pretend like you’re fine, but your best friend knows you well enough and can see you’re faking. She regrets bringing it up before the awards, thinking it’s not fair to have added that to your plate along with the stress you’re both feeling.

All she can do so she doesn’t bring it up again is grab your hand and remind you that she loves you. Something which you say back to her and she’s beyond grateful you said it back.

Finding yourself back in bed, now in your hotel room, unfortunately your mind goes back to your conversation and begins replaying every word she’s said.

Like a broken record, spinning over and over, until you lose track of time and when your phone pings from where it’s charging on top of the nightstand, you softly gasp at it being 7pm when the last time you saw the time it was 4pm and you and Amelia were complaining about jetlag betraying you and making you look like even worse grandmas that you already were.

When you get your phone, you see Matty’s messages flash on the screen. Another one coming through as you unlock your phone.

How’s jetlag treating you baby? x is the first one he’s sent, followed by, You better not be asleep yet cos I will laugh if you are, you gilf x

You giggle to yourself at the use of the term, thinking back to how the term came to be used for you and how insane it is that the week of holidays you spent texting and facetime feels so long ago now.

Deciding to be fully honest and give into the distraction from your thoughts, you type, It’s kicking my arse 🙁 and as soon that has sent, you send a second text that reads, How’d you even do it? Tour must be so exhausting x

You get used to it x reads the almost instant text he sends but then you’re waiting for what he’s gonna say next as the bubble appears and you’re watching the three dots flicker with anticipation.

A few seconds later it comes through and you’re giggling when you read, You learn to find how to keep yourself distracted more like, to forget you’re tired in the first place x

Cheekily, you ask, Is that code for something? x and to tease him a bit, you add, If so I have to add it to the list under ‘socialising’ as Ross gave us the meaning to that one x

A chesty laugh falls from your lips when his next text comes through and it plainly says, Let’s actually ban the topic of Ross from conversation x

And it’s impossible for you to hold back from using that to provoke him a bit, Ooo is someone jealous? x

His answer isn’t quite what you expected and it earns a gasp out of you when you read he’s said, You, still, of that kiss I gave him x and the memory of you posting that to your instagram comes to bite you on the arse.

The only thing you can think of replying is with a sarcastic, You think you’re funny x

Which he refutes effortlessly with, I know I’m fucking hilarious baby x

Biting your lip and feeling your cheeks heat up, your fingers type an earnest confession that you hope he reciprocates, I miss you xx

But your blood goes cold when his response comes through and it’s just, Oh you miss me? Yeah well, you haven’t had anyone to fuck you good all week so I was expecting that x

Reading that text sinks your heart, and it shouldn’t because you know in any other moment you would’ve found it hilarious and chatted back almost automatically but after having Amelia’s words engraved in the walls of your brain after replaying them so much, you’re left with the awful feeling that she might be right.

You try not to cry when you’re unable to stop yourself from overthinking. Oh you miss me? Yeah well, you haven’t had anyone to fuck you good all week so I was expecting that x. You had just said you missed him and that being the response leaves you gutted.

What if that’s actually all that it is for him? What if everything had just been to ease you into bed with him and now that he had you in the palm of his hand, he was reaching out to you to get some sort of release?

After all it was 3am for him, which other reason would there be for him to be texting this late when he should’ve been tired enough to be out the second he got in his bunk. The ghost of the conversation about his nightmares pokes at your racing mind and whilst your logical side is screaming at you about that being a reason for his texts this late in the evening, you’re far too gone to even try and change your mind.

You’re so stupid. And all you want to do is cry into your pillow.

But you still have got makeup on and, if it was any other day, you’d let the sadness push you to fall asleep with it on but tomorrow you start prepping for the bloody Golden Globes. Rehearsals start early in the morning, and the last thing you want the day after when you’re on the red carpet is a surprise spot appearing on your skin when you’re about to be photographed left, right and centre.

Your feet lazily take you up to the bathroom and you’re languidly getting a makeup wipe when your ringtone startles you. You’re slightly faster in getting your phone because the noise is threatening to push you further into getting a headache.

And then you see it, Matty on the screen, wanting to facetime you and there’s that sinking feeling getting heavier inside you. You know you’ve left him on read, and it’s now that you realise that was half an hour ago and you feel bad.

You consider not answering, blaming it on falling asleep but deep inside you want some sort of comfort, a sign of an answer that maybe Amelia is wrong - that maybe this time she has misread the situation.

So you swipe on your screen as you go back to the bathroom, taking the makeup off your face and looking at your reflection in the mirror rather than at him on your phone.

“Hi baby.” Matty says with a smile, you can catch it faintly from the way the brightness of his screen is lighting up his face.

“Hi.” You reply sheepishly, and that tone is enough for him to know something’s not right.

“What’s wrong?” He asks with a pout, then he backtracks trying to think of what’s gotten you upset and he quickly adds, “You know I was joking right?” He’s silently hoping that isn’t it though, the last thing he wanted was to get you upset but he knows how sometimes jokes don’t land right through text.

You panic as though he’s just been able to read your mind and your mouth is faster than you spilling something else out so he doesn’t think it is exactly that which has you like this. Well that and Amelia’s worries. So putting the now used makeup wipe down by the sink, you shake your head.

“It’s not-” You try to deny but everything is sitting heavy on your chest and your eyes begin to well up on their own accord.

You still can’t look at your phone and you think you’re even more pathetic about letting this get to you. And you know it’s only affecting you so much because you’ve been awake well over 24 hours to try and get your body clock in order for tomorrow, but it’s completely taken away your composure. So you just end up blaming everything on that.

“I- I’m so nervous and overwhelmed, and this jetlag is actually making me want to fucking cry.” At the end you actually let out a pathetic little sob which breaks his heart, you’re holding onto the marble top where the sink is and hang your head so your hair covers your face while you silently cry.

“Oh no babyyy,” You hear him say through the phone, perhaps a bit louder than he should in a bus filled with his sleeping bandmates, “You should’ve said you were upset, I wouldn’t have been an absolute dick then.”

You shake your head and sniffle but when you’re about to put your head up to look at him on the screen, another cry bursts through you and you let your head fall down once more.

“Baby don’t cry, I’m sorry.” His heart hurts in his chest, “Fuck, I’m such an idiot.”

He could feel something was wrong as soon as his message went from sent to read and there was no sign of the three dots. Somehow he just knew and the sinking feeling in his stomach made him FaceTime you, and now he's beyond thankful he did.

“No,” You sniffle loudly and force yourself to look up.

Your throat is so choked up, it’s difficult to get anything out at all. You have to look away from him for a second and you cover your mouth with your fist for a few seconds.

Matty’s heart hurts seeing the shine of your eyes as they well up again, and he wants to say something but you look like you need to work through it for a second so he waits until you’ve taken a few deep breaths and look back at him. “Can you podcast me baby… Please?” You just about get out.

You wipe your tears quickly and you look at him, giving him a soft smile and getting a new wipe to continue taking your makeup off. After swallowing the lump in your throat, you say, “Tell me how the show was tonight.”

Matty makes sure to be the most dramatic to get a smile out of you, even a laugh if he’s lucky enough, “Well obviously brilliant ‘cause it’s us.” He rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue, shaking his head a bit and his curls bounce at the movement.

Your short snort makes him grin harder, and you reply with a blunt, “Right.” as if you don’t believe that statement.

He lets his jaw fall like he’s deeply offended and then points an accusing finger at you as he calls you out by saying, “Don’t act like you don’t agree baby, you’ve been here for almost a decade and that means something.”

You finish removing your makeup then, so you raise your hands up to feign innocence, “I was agreeing.”

The curly headed brunette narrows his eyes at you and keeps quiet for a mere few seconds, acting like he’s debating whether he believes you or not, until he decides, “Good, because I also wore leather tonight in your honour.”

A little smirk tugs at the corners of your lips, “Ooooo” you mutter teasingly while you try to picture in your head what exactly he’s worn tonight. You curse yourself for being in your head so much and forgetting to check twitter for your daily dose of tour content.

Before you can say anything else, though, he adds, “Because I miss you. A lot.” and you didn’t know how much you wanted to hear that until then.

It’s like the simple reassurance that he indeed does miss you too, quiets down the storm in your head. You can breathe a little better, all the while you can also feel your heart swell up inside your chest and you can’t not reciprocate the feeling, “Miss you too.”

The singer pouts at the fact that he has to tell you this through the phone and can’t give you a cuddle so he gets an idea that makes him inquire, “Where’s Amelia? I want her to hug you for me.”

That question shouldn’t be something to bring up suspicion but Matty doesn’t miss the way your face falls at the mention of your best friend and right then he gets this gut feeling that maybe something happened between you two that also has you upset.

Somehow, your awkward, “Erm, she’s in her room.” gives it away even more and though he wants nothing more than to ask you about it, he’d rather not have you upset and crying again when he knows you can be laughing and smiling when talking about something else.

So taking a bit of a pause, he thinks and ends up asking you, “Have you gone to see the Hollywood sign yet?”

You go off frame as you go to throw the makeup wipes to the bin and then splash your face with some water to wash your face. “Yes, a fucking awful hike but t’was pretty.” Is what you reply, remembering just how much you were sweating earlier but also shivering a bit at the stark contrast when you went back to the car.

Matty watches as you pour something in the palm of your hand and rub it together between your hands before rubbing it on your face until it becomes foamy. “It isn’t hot though is it?” It’s just the second week of January and he has a faint memory of being in the west coast during that time of the year and it not being hot at all, “At least you weren’t fucking cooking while going up there.”

You quickly wash the cleanser off and whilst you’re patting your face dry, you continue giving him the details, “Wind was cold but the sun was out so we were cooking in our jackets. The desert weather is confusing.”

“More confusing than ours?” His tone is almost teasing, making you smile a bit to yourself under his gaze.

“A bit yeah.” You nod, opening your little moisturiser tub and getting some to apply onto your face.

The second you dot it around your face and neck, he’s asking, “Is that the cream I like you’re putting on?”

The massive grin that appears on your face is impossible to hold back, not when the memories of you having to do the same you’re doing to yourself on him the whole past week when he watched you through the mirror getting ready for bed.

“Yeah. You’ve made me go through half my bottle already though, you little shit.” In slow soft motions, you’re rubbing it on your skin and you relish in the cooling feeling of the gel like cream on your face.

He clicks his tongue like that’s not even an issue, “Don’t worry baby, I’ll get you more when you come back.”

Humming, you warn him, “I’ll remind you of that.”

“Yeah ‘cause I’m in actual need to relax like when you put all those things on my face.” Matty admits and it makes you want to giggle.

A snort escapes your lips, “You mean when I do your skin care?”

“Mhm, I love it.”

Rolling your eyes, you call him out, “I know you do, you’re so needy.”

But he then reminds you, “I told you I was.” and you two share loopy grins through the screen as you see the memories of your first date showing in the forefront of your minds.

“That you did.” You nod, agreeing with him and tapping some eye cream over your eye bags. Covering your mouth when you yawn, you look at the time and ask him with a frown, “Isn’t it almost 4am for you?”

Matty pauses for a second, glancing up to see the time in the corner of his phone screen and is rather surprised, “Oh yeah, I guess so.” And trying to get you laughing again, he continues with, “Quick maths baby, that’s impressive.”

But the lack of sleep he’s currently having has you worried enough to inquire, “Is everything alright?” You don’t want to explicitly ask if he’s gotten any nightmares, especially since he’s sleeping in a moving vehicle but from the look in his eyes, you know he knows exactly what you mean by that.

His chest tightens at how cute you are so he calms your worries by explaining, “Yes, nothing’s wrong, just a bit of insomnia ‘cause I’m still feeling the energy from the gig.”

“Okay, if you say so.” Your trust that he’d tell you if he was having nightmares has faltered slightly after what was said earlier. You feel so stupid being hung up on it, but just the thought of opening up to each other only being so you could get something physical out of each other makes you start to spiral again.

You’re cut short, not even being able to lose it again when he continues saying, “Wish I could have you here though, I wanna cuddle you so badly.”

A bit apprehensive, you sigh, “Me too.” but then you can’t keep from being honest with him, “I’m too nervous about tomorrow, and that’s only rehearsals, I don’t know if I’m even gonna be able to sleep tomorrow night.”

“Baby you’re gonna do amazing.” He assures you with sweet conviction, “You and Amelia. You always do.”

Your insides flood with warmth and you try to ignore it so he can’t catch how flustered you are by the compliment. “You’re being nice.”

“No, I mean it. You learned all that information about everyone attending so easily, I don’t think I’ve known more about the current film and TV culture than now after you’ve told me everything you know when you were practising.”

You’re chuckling then, leave it to him to not keep up to date to the most current media to be consumed. Getting your phone and exiting the bathroom after turning off the lights, you leave your phone on the floor by your case while you look for your pyjamas, “You’re an old man. Absolute grandpa.” You rub it in like it’s gonna offend him but you should’ve expected the opposite.

“And you’re my gilf, remember?” You hear the smirk before you can see it, but you don’t give him the pleasure of a reply as you just start stripping down to your underwear and put on your cute pyjama set that consists of a button up shirt and some matching shorts.

“Those pyjamas are cute.” Matty compliments, catching the chicken nuggets and the little ketchup packets all over them.

“Right!” You reply all excited, taking the moment to appreciate the clothes again, “Our manager gave them to us for Christmas, has my name right here.” You show him the embroidered Y/N that rests over your left breast with a cute smile on your face.

He smiles right back, “That’s cute. You look better in my clothes though.” He quips back, and you’re about to taunt him by arguing the pyjamas are better than his shirts when he just sighs longingly and says, “You’re so stunning baby.”

You’d just set up your phone against the lamp on the nightstand so you can talk to him as you get in bed but you freeze in your spot, sitting on the edge of the bed, lips pressing together so a big smile doesn’t break on your face.

“Stop,” You warn and then cup your cheeks with your cold hands, “You’re making me flustered.”

Matty knows you’re flustered so he grins proudly at you and admits, “I know, that’s what I’m aiming for.”

“Well you’re not allowed.” You chat back like that’s enough of an argument against him.

Trying not to giggle, he asks, “Why?”

“Because no.” You reply through your teeth, avoiding much eye contact because you know that’ll get you even worse and you don’t need that now.

“Oh but why,” His grin is huge, “Look at that smile!”

He’s impossible not to react to, so you hide behind your hands and whine, “You’re so annoying.” a bit louder than you anticipated.

“Say that again.” He suggests with a smirk on his face, once again, one that you can hear before you see it.

Your hands fall from your face, your smile stuck on your face even when you try to act menacing as you narrow your eyes and says a quick, “Fuck you.”

You can never win, not when he chuckles and quips back with, “You wish you were.” and all you can do is shriek and tell him he’s insufferable again.

Both of you giggle until a comfortable silence falls between you and you end up silently smiling at one another. That is until you rub your eyes a little, getting tired once again, but Matty just needs to know, so he asks softly, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” You nod, giving him a small smile, “Everythings just-” You pause for a second not wanting to get emotional again, so you release a long breath and continue, “A lot.”

Matty sees your eyes get a little glossy again, but not nearly as fast as last time. So he quickly intervenes and tries to make you laugh.

“I can’t believe the first time you���re upset in front of me is when I'm over five thousand miles away from you.” Matty says loudly and dramatically, and he moves the camera closer so he can tell you off. “You’re not allowed to do that in future. If you’re upset you have to just come and cuddle me, yeah? No messing about, I just hug you until you start to feel better okay, like you did for me.”

Your chest aches at the mere thought. That is all you want right now. You don’t know how he could get any cuter.

Matty’s smile is huge when he promises, “I’ll do whatever you need.”

All you want to do is give him a hug, so you just curl up in bed and hug your pillow and prop him up against the lamp on the bedside table so you can still talk. Once you’re settled and you’re smiling at him, you say, “Should have brought my blanket with me so I can pretend I’ve got you cuddling me.”

Matty chuckles at that, loving seeing the smile on your face. He doesn’t hesitate to say, “If I wasn’t on tour I would have flown out with you.”

You almost snort at that despite the fact you know he’s being genuine and serious, you just elect to tease him, “Such a flirt with those big gestures of yours.”

“Well, you know me.” Matty chuckles, “I don’t do half-hearted.”

After that you make him go to his bunk and at least try to get some sleep. You end up whispering to each other as you watch the other slowly fall asleep. Thankfully you see Matty dose off first so there’s a content smile on your face as your eyes slowly close and you let sleep take you.

~*~*~*~*~*~

You wake up the next morning with a smile on your face. One entirely brought by your conversation with Matty having settled down your doubts, one that lasted all throughout the time you were getting ready to leave for rehearsals, breakfast and on the way to the venue.

When you hit the red carpet, nerves overcame you but joy filled every corner of your body along with the intense impostor syndrome that you were starting to get acquainted with. It all was eliciting a massive smile from you which hurt your cheekbones, you just couldn’t quite believe you were there. And Amelia was feeling just the same.

Rehearsals are almost done, you and Amelia had been there for hours by then and it was mental to see the various interviewers there with their respective crews rehearsing for the very next day. Your crew tells you you’re almost done, only having to go over the last bit which was basically the send off once you’d wrap your section up the next day, and after that you were good to go back to the hotel.

But before you can finish that up, the crew give you a five minute break whilst they figure out some things behind the scenes.

Once you two finally have a moment to finally breathe, that’s when your best friend comes up to you and brings back the chat you’d rather keep buried.

“Y/N/N, I’m sorry,” Amelia starts saying, lowering her microphone and cue cards until they’re pressed beside her thigh and the grin she had on her face is replaced by her furrowed brows and lips pressed together in sorrow when looking back, “About last night, I shouldn’t have said what I said. I know better than that and there’s only so much I know about what you have with Matty, and even though it seems-”

“Ames.” You cut her off before she can say more because your heart was already sinking and you felt yourself start going cold since you had no idea what to expect now. “Don’t. I know what you meant last night and I appreciate your concern, you know I do, but please let’s not do this right now.”

“But-,” Amelia tried to get her words out again but you wouldn’t budge.

“Not here Ames.” You pleaded once more, the last thing you wanted was to get upset in the middle of rehearsals and in front of the crew. Dryly adding, “We can do this back at the hotel, if you insist on continuing the conversation.”

Thankfully Amelia accepts your bargain, not wanting to have you upset again at the venue, so she just presses her lips together and nods.

“Right.” She agrees and coming closer to you, she throws her arm around your shoulder and hugs you into her side, “Love you, Y/N/N.”

You smile back, thankful for her understanding, leaning into her and reciprocating the feeling, “Love you too, Ames.”

After that, you had used the few minutes left of your rest to openly marvel about the whole thing to each other, pinching each other’s arms at the same time and exploding in giggles when you realised you really weren’t dreaming.

The rest of the rehearsal went smoothly and once you wrapped up, the crew congratulated you on a brilliant rehearsal and let you go.

As soon as you get to the hotel, you order room service and do a repeat of the previous night, watching a film as you eat but this time the film is completely forgotten because once you remember just how big the ceremony is, you two frantically look for you flash cards with information so you can go over it all to ensure you don’t fuck up the next day.

Thankfully, that had been why you both forgot to speak about your situation with Matty. So by the time you’re doing your skin care and getting ready to head to bed, texting Matty until he stopped replying because he definitely fell asleep, you have a massive grin on your face and your anticipation for the following day is doing nothing but bubble up your chest and make your stomach flutter.

~*~*~*~

The next morning was even more nerve-racking. You had taken longer having breakfast because the nerves weren’t helping with your ability to swallow your food without feeling like it could come right back up the next second.

But when your team got to the hotel and everyone was gathered in Amelia’s room to do a little speech of encouragement and congratulate everyone for such a big achievement, you and Amelia settled a bit.

You’re just coming out of taking a shower, being ushered by your manager who had just come back from hurrying Amelia up since she had taken a long time in the shower too, when you hear your phone ringing with what you know it’s a facetime call.

And it’s not hard to guess who it is.

The smirk on your manager’s face is enough for you to know you guessed right and when she hands you your phone, you answer Matty’s call with a bright smile.

“Hiya baby.” He greets loudly, making everyone in the room turn to look at you with a teasing smirk.

That detail being unbeknownst to him has him thinking that you’re blushing over his mere use of the pet name so he playfully calls you out by saying, “Blushing already? I haven’t even said anything yet, baby.”

Before he can even think of opening his mouth again, you’re calling out loud, “Right, someone get me my airpods please.”

Once he heard that, he realised what had happened and the situation only elicited a loud cackle from him. He found out after New Years that he enjoyed a lot when you got flustered at the things he’d say in public, your bright red cheeks making you seem all innocent as if you wouldn’t love to hear the things he said in private, as if you wouldn’t reply with something even worse.

It gets worse for you when he cheekily adds, “Please do get her AirPods, things are about to get raunchy.”

“Shut up!” You hiss through your teeth, making everyone in the room laugh at your embarrassed state. And when your stylist finally finds your airpods inside your bag and hands them to you, you thank her almost impatiently.

Clearing your throat, you put your airpods in your ears and only then is that you greet him back, “Hello, you menace.”

“Oh, please, you love me.” He quips back, rolling his eyes as he brushes his hair back and you’re so beyond happy to see his curls free of any product.

Still, you don’t let it show as you sigh and give him a meek, “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” in response.

“You’re in denial baby,” He tuts, clicking his tongue as he shakes his head but he doesn’t let you say anything back because then he lets his sweet smile back on his face and he genuinely asks, “How’s your morning going?”

“I’m shitting bricks.” You admit quite honestly, stifling a laugh by biting your bottom lip.

Matty actually lets his amusement show with another loud string of giggles, the sound hitting your ears warm you up inside and has your chest feeling tight from how much you miss him.

“You’re gonna do amazing, baby. Nothing to be nervous about.”

His tone is so nonchalant, it has you scoffing. You know it is because he has faith in you and how good you are at your job, but you decide joking about it rather than accepting the compliment will help you a bit more.

So you reply with, “Of course you’d say that, nepo baby. That’s your crowd.”

“Oi!” He calls out by pointing a finger at you through the screen but eventually lets his expression change from scornful to smug, “You’re just jealous.”

You’re so glad your makeup artist decides to come up to you and start your skin prep then because, as she delicately rubs a moisturiser on your skin, you can look even more unbothered when you reply, “Sure I am.”

You fall silent as you’re getting pampered, your eyes closing involuntarily at the soft touches on your face, but Matty stays silent too, just fully admiring the view of your pretty and relaxed face.

He breaks the silence when a sweet, “Baby, you’re so fucking beautiful.” falls from his lips, making a big grin tug at the corner of your lips and you let your eyes open again to see your screen, only to find him staring at you with the most adoring look on his face.

“Thank you baby.” You reply wholeheartedly, making his heart rate stutter when you use the pet name on him.

Rather impatiently, he asks right away, “Can I see your dress yet?”

“Not yet.” You had purposely kept that to yourself, fully wanting his anticipation for it to build up for as long as it could. “Patience is a virtue.”

“It’s overrated.” Matty counters your words with his eyebrows raised and a look of defiance as if he’s challenging you to show him the dress. But you shake your head and all he does is sigh and change his question to, “Am I getting pictures?”

Yet, you aren’t giving in that easily, not when you can taunt him a bit more. “If I’m feeling generous…”

Something inside him ignites and how he wishes he could have you next to him in that very moment so he could kiss you until you break. “You better.”

“Or what?” You push further, biting your bottom lip withholding a smirk that wants to break on your face.

But it seems the singer has got no taste for explicitness any more, for he just shakes his head at you for being trouble and settles for saying, “You’ll see when you come back.”

You let your voice drop a little, mischief making your eyes gleam as you look at him, “Is that a threat or a promise?”

Matty smirks at your advances and lets you have this moment, winking at you when he says, “Whichever you want it to be, baby.” That spark you ignite within him comes alive and makes him desperate to have you back, so he asks somewhat breathlessly, “When’s your flight leaving?”

You have a think about your tight schedule for the day and recall, “10pm tonight so I should be at Heathrow by 5pm tomorrow.”

That sounds like the most amazing news to him and he shows you a massive grin when he realises you’re arriving, “Right after soundcheck…” meaning he can go get you.

You’re only teasing when you say, “Are you coming to pick me up?” Silently wishing he does though, because if there’s anything you’re dying to do once you get back home is hugging him again.

“‘Course I am, baby.” He clicks his tongue like he can’t believe you’re asking him about that, “D’you really think I won’t want you beside me the second we’re in the same city?”

You have to press your lips together not to show just how fucking happy his words make you, you cheeks heating up slightly and a squeaky, “Aren’t you cute!” escapes your lips.

But Matty seems too smug when he hears that and agrees with a quick, “I know, I know.”

So you snort to yourself and playfully roll your eyes, “It’s gonna be an issue with everything getting to your head.”

“Is it? Thought you loved it. It’s always been me, you wouldn’t be here now if you didn’t love it.” He loves calling you out on how long you’ve been a fan when you try to act like he’s being annoying, because there’s really nothing you can argue back with.

With a sigh, you state, “See, I’m not answering that in the slightest because you’ll find a way to have it feed your ego.”

Playing with you, he scoffs and complains, “People will hear you and think I’m a narcissist.”

His faux offended state makes you giggled, “Where did all your self awareness go? You are one.”

“Am I?” His curls bounce in his head when he looks up and to the sides as if he’s thinking about it and somehow comes to the conclusion that, “Sometimes it’s a compliment you know.”

You roll your eyes again and chat back by calling him, “Okay Mr. Big Head.” but you’re so happy on the inside that you’ve got him like this on the phone again. It feels just like the first week of the year and all those times you’ve texted before. Everything Amelia said two days before has been swept right out of your brain and you’re so fucking grateful.

You’re brought back to reality when you hear him cheekily say, “You’ve never once complained about my big head.” And with an even more suggestive tone, he adds, “Think you actually quite enjoy it, baby.”

Jaw dropped, you gasp and whisper-shout, “Shush!” at him.

Which elicits uncontrollable giggles from him that have you almost breaking and laughing along with him, “What?!” He says aloud like he’s not just said what he has said, “You’ve got your airpods in!”

And even though he’s right, you don’t let him be and scorn him, “Still!”

“Oh come on baby,” He calls your bluff act out,  “I know you’re dying to say something back to that. I can see it in your face.”

Before you can even think of a response, you’re having two gold patches pressed over your under eyes as another step on your skin prep and Matty is suddenly envious of the pampering.

He also is reminiscing of you doing his skin care and he misses your touch on his skin, however innocent it could be. Like a little kid asking for a new toy, he gasps and demands, “I want those!”

And you have his jaw falling agape when you glance at him and nod, “You need them. Look at those eyebags.”

He’s fully offended, his jaw fallen and eyes empty as he can’t believe you’ve just said that, and the visual makes you laugh so hard that your patches are falling off your face so you cackles turn into a noise of subtle panic which has your makeup artist turning and scorn you for not staying still.

“S’not my fault! He’s making me laugh!” You excused yourself in between chuckles and Matty laughed even harder in your ear, making your chuckles turn into cackles again and the patches to fall down again.

You manage to catch one of the patches on the palm of your free hand, the other one hitting your thigh which was covered by your white robe.

And once again you get scorned, for which you pout trying to put the blame on Matty. That somehow ends with you being convinced to put him on speaker and you swear you have never had a funnier day getting ready for a massive event in your life.

The whole time, everyone has been laughing at Matty’s and your antics, multiple times your makeup artist has had to stop herself from starting the next step in your eye makeup because of how hard she was laughing and she was trying not to fuck up.

Eventually, when you’re miraculously ready to go and they’re waiting for you to head downstairs to leave for the red carpet, you have to say goodbye to your curly headed boy who wishes you the best of luck and admits out loud just how excited he is to have you back beside him.

You smile so hard looking at your phone and saying you feel just the same, blowing him a kiss and giving him a quick wave you hang up and when you lift your head up is that you realise the whole thing has been recorded.

“Oh right, we were filming a get ready with me.” You bite your bottom lip as your cheeks heat up and you pray at least Amelia got proper footage because you were excited to edit and post that as soon as you could.

Your manager laughs, handing you the camera so you can film yourself walking out but she shrugs, “T’was cute.”

You’re so glad you’re quickly ushered out of your room, your manager quickly following behind and there you meet Amelia to take pictures in the hallway.

That is when your nerves start hitting again, making your hands shake as you hold each other and pose for the camera. You both are mumbling pure gibberish, just trying to let it all out, doing a little Sharpay Evans looking at each other and mentally preparing yourselves for what is going to be a wonderful evening.

~*~*~*~

That red carpet had been an absolute dream.

You had managed to do the Wednesday dance with henry Winkler, have Guillermo del Toro rub your lucky egg, ask Anya Taylor-Joy and Daisy Edgar Jones for dating advice, find out Letitia Wright’s favourite tube line, meet Paul Dano, and witness Andrew flirting with Amelia like they were the only ones in the room.

Both of you are buzzing with energy by the time the carpet starts emptying out, everyone going inside the venue for it gets closer to the ceremony starting time, and you get even more of a rush when you remember this means you’re closer to setting off for the airport so you can go back to London.

You’re practically counting down the minutes when security starts letting the people into the area to start cleaning up, your gaze going over every member of the crew looking for a sign of them finally calling it up as wrapped, and this all doesn’t go unnoticed by your best friend.

Amelia knows exactly why you’re so happy and it warms her heart. After experiencing this together, seeing you doing good in other areas of your life is just what she wants but there’s that nagging feeling in the back of her head that tells her she needs to let her thoughts out before it’s too late and the damage is done.

Now, she is praying that not a single thing goes wrong and that this is where everything starts making sense for you, but she’d hate it if she let you go without advising you to be careful one last time.

So she waits a little, after you’re both congratulated and thanked by the crew for doing such a great job, so when you’re off with your manager and waiting to get picked up, Amelia grabs you by your hand and makes you turn to her.

“Y/N,” She starts with a tone of her voice that has you just knowing exactly what this is so you clearly tense up in front of her. “We didn’t really have the time to continue speaking about it yesterday but I wanted to tell you just before you leave: please be careful.”

Before you are even able to tell her that you know, she continues with a worried face, “I know this is going good for you, and god do I really want this to work out for you but please, talk about it with him. Don’t let it pass any longer because that’ll only make it worse if something happens.”

Your brows furrow and you purse your lips trying to fight the upsetting feeling rising up your throat. You haven’t got a clue about what to say back, your thoughts now going back to your situation and turning everything to look for bad things about it and you hate that you do.

Just because you don’t want to show her how much her words have affected you again, you nod and squeeze her hand as a silent thank you, “I know and I will.” You say the calmest you can and just so she doesn’t get the chance to ask about it, you hug her and press a kiss on her cheek before saying, “I’ll text you when I land.”

The “Alright.” she gives you as a response is faint as it reaches your ears in between the loud noise of the city, and you’re so grateful that the cab taking you arrives right as you are handed your suitcase, your bag and another bag with clothes for you to change into in the backseat of the car.

You turn back and wave Amelia goodbye, feeling your heart get heavier when you see her face and all you can hear is her words on an excruciating loop that feels like daggers to your chest.

Once you get your case in the boot of the car and you go inside it rather hastily, you change into a pair of jeans and a shirt, throwing your precious Drive Like I Do hoodie on top and putting your gown inside the bag it had come in, your manager helping you delicately store it inside it and promising to give it back to your stylist once she gets back to the hotel after dropping you off at the airport.

You knew you were going to cut it really close with how much of a short time you had between leaving the red carpet and going to the airport, so you’re finally breathing in relief when you get to your gate only ten minutes before you start boarding.

But once your mind is free from the stress of making it in time to catch your flight, all you can seem to focus on is every word that Amelia has said about you and Matty.

And unfortunately, you overthink every sentence she uttered for the first few hours of your flight. Fully giving into your insecurities has you spiralling so much that you end up falling asleep for a max of 3 hours, only waking up when the flight attendant gently taps your shoulder to ask you which meal they had for breakfast you’d like to choose.

And after that you just can’t go back to sleep. You’re left wondering which is the best way to bring the conversation up or if you even should, scared of completely ruining things by seeming too intense about it but also, deep down, wanting to know the answer yourself.

Sighing, you go on your camera roll and pray time goes faster as you edit your pictures and prepare drafts about the Golden Globes to post on your social media as soon as you land.

~*~*~*~

Getting off the plane and being back on home soil makes you feel so much better.

It’s like seeing the gloomy weather again and the cars having the steering wheels on the correct side engulf you in a hug and the familiarity of it all settles helps the weight on your chest feel a little lighter.

As soon as you landed you texted Matty telling him you just landed and that you’d be out as soon as possible. He replied not two minutes later telling you not to rush and that he would see you at the arrivals door.

God must be looking out for you when you get off the plane because you get through security without a hitch and your suitcase is one of the first 50 to come out. You’ve never been so excited to get off a plane and back home. Usually you’re mourning your holiday but now there’s nothing more that you want to do than to get to the O2 to see the gig you’ve been waiting months for.

Walking out into the room of people waiting to pick up their loved ones, and you think it would be difficult to spot Matty but he’s sticking out like a sore thumb, and you adore him for it. He’s standing there in his jeans and Chicken Shop Date hoodie with sunglasses on a white and green cap on his head.

But when he catches sight of you, he takes your breath away when he holds up a handmade sign with ‘Baby’ written on it with a small heart next to it. He’s grinning like you’re delivering him a birthday present, and you really hold yourself back from running towards him.

You walk straight towards him, and immediately you’re brought into quite possibly the best hug you’ve ever received.

“Hi Baby.” Matty whispers in your ear after he hugs you into him tightly.

You’re been held with such a strong hold that you think Matty must believe you’ll disappear if he lets you the tiniest bit loose. But you’re not complaining, you absolutely love it.

“Hi.” You whisper back, and you feel like you could cry.

You’re sure you’ve never been held so tightly and after everything going around your head over the last few days it feels so nice for it all to go quiet and you focus on him. Being back in his arms feels heavenly, and you don’t think you’ve ever felt so content hugging someone, so much that it makes your eyes well up a little.

Your heart skips a beat when he tells you, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” You say back, without any hesitation, but it comes out a little bit hoarse as the ball in your throat persists.

This makes Matty abandon his disguise though, he releases you from the hug, keeping close though, but he takes off his hat and sunglasses. Immediately his eyebrows are furrowed and he needs to make sure, “You okay?”

However, he can see that your eyes are a little glazed over. Not to mention you look really tired, but he still thinks you look just as gorgeous as you did last night, even if you are just in your jeans and an oversized Drive Like I Do hoodie.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just really jetlagged.” You nod, and Matty watches you, cupping your face as if he’s checking if you’re being honest or not. And you truly are so you smile, trying to convince him, “I’m fine, I promise.”

Matty thankfully believes you, and he gently strokes his thumb across your cheek as he tells you, “I’m so proud of you, baby.”

“Stop it,” You tell him, despite it really meaning a lot to hear. “I don’t want to get upset again.”

Matty chuckles at that but he looks straight into your eyes and repeats, “I really am though, you did amazing. I’m soproud of you.”

And you can’t stop yourself from leaning in to kiss him then, because you don’t have the words to express just how much that means to you without you breaking down. Jetlag messing with your sleep really has your emotions fucked, so you just pour everything you’re feeling into a kiss.

It feels like an age since your lips have been against his, and you certainly take your time to savour it now. It’s sweet, extremely sincere and the perfect way to round off your greeting back home. Matty can certainly feel you pouring your emotions into the kiss and he loves the way your arms loop around his neck to make sure he can’t escape from it.

Not that he wants to. He would die a happy man if he were to fall here and now. He has you back and that’s all he needs. He lets the kiss arrive at its natural ending and when you pull away the both of you are grinning like fools before Matty grabs your case and says, “Let’s go baby.”

You smile and follow him, not blaming him at all when he puts the cap and sunglasses back on because you understand that he doesn’t want to be recognised and mobbed when he has a show to get to. As soon as they are on he grabs your hand and you walk in step with each other as you head to his car.

It gives you a chance to take in his hat though and you’re sure it’s the Land Rover logo but with letters missing so it just says Lover. It makes you grin as it reminds you of one of your favourite songs and it turns out it's one of Matty’s too. What makes you giggle though is when you said you liked it because of that reason he took it off himself and put it on your head.

After that you thank Matty for coming to get you as you find his car and he assures you that it’s perfectly fine. And thankfully, the both of you make it back to London's best arena with plenty of time to spare.

Getting into the O2, Matty takes you straight to their green room where the rest of the band are and you greet them all with hugs and they congratulate you on last night's success. You thank them all and you love the hug that Charli gives you.

Here is where you meet Carly, and she’s just as wonderful as you expected her to be and really welcoming. And you really had to hold back your emotions when you were introduced to baby Hann by Uncle Matty. Seeing that man with a child is not something your brain can handle today so you were almost thankful when you were all interrupted by food being delivered.

It’s calm in there while you all eat, and you love that they are having a cheeky Nandos before they go out on stage. About half an hour later though, the room starts getting busier, people coming and going and you’re greeting a few new people you’ve not met before.

Matty has to leave the room for a few minutes, as he was called away by someone in the crew and he gave your thigh a quick squeeze before smiling, telling you he would be back soon. You’re left talking to Charli who is on the settee across from yours and you’re both giggling about how there’s definitely a connection between Amelia and Andrew Garfield before your attention is pulled back to the curly haired brunette.

“Hey baby?” Matty calls you from the door he’s just slipped back through.

You turn to look at him and smile, “Yeah?”

He looks all mischievous for some reason, as he’s grinning like a lunatic. But it makes sense when he explains, “I got you another date.”

“Okay…” You trail off, waiting for the grand reveal.

And to be perfectly honest, you’re expecting the fabulous Denise Welsh to walk through the door or the wonderful Tim Healy. But no.

Instead, Matty grins and pushes the door open all the way to reveal Taylor Swift standing in the doorway.

“Fuck off.” You gasp, your eyes instantly going wide and your hand comes up to almost shield your face. You don’t know why, but they do, and your now half shaking hands come up to cover your mouth as you watch Taylor walk further into the room giggling at your reaction. You bring your hands up to cover your whole face this time when the words slip from your lips again, “No, fuck off.”

At that, all you can do is let yourself fall into the back of the settee you’re on hoping it would swallow you whole. In your head, all that’s whirring around is, this isn't happening, this isn't real.

But it really is. And everyone in the room is laughing at how shocked you are. But it's George that chuckles, “I think you broke her, Matty.”

And he certainly has. The next thing you do is peek through your fingers to see she is still very much there now standing beside Matty, both of them grinning at you. But you tell the curly haired brunette, “You can’t just present Taylor Swift to me and expect me to be alright.”

Matty just laughs loudly before gesturing for you to, “Come here.”

And you do as you’re told. More adrenaline pumping through your system right now than you think the whole of last night.

Your hands are shaking a little, but nothing you clenching your fists can’t hide when you stop in front of Taylor and smile a shy, “Hi.”

Her grin is still bright, clearly used to absurd reactions like what you’ve just done. Her american accent rings out in her, “Hi.” and she smiles like you’ve not just made a massive tit of yourself.

“Y/N, Taylor.” Matty introduces you with a big grin looking from you to the singer, but then he goes on to say, “Taylor, this is Y/N, my…” But you watch his smile falter and he hesitates. A beat passes before he ends up saying, “Girlfriend.”

Hearing that should fill you with an insane amount of joy and happiness. But from the pause he did, it felt like it was almost bitter and he was reluctant to say the word out loud.

You’re aware that you havent talked about anything and that’s more than likely why he hesitated because you don’t just introduce someone to Taylor Swift as a fuck buddy. But that hesitation you saw brings back every single doubt that Amelia filled your mind with.

Swallowing that pill, you give your attention back to the popstar, not wanting a moment like this to be ruined at all by any relationship. You’re meeting Taylor fucking Swift, the last thing you need is to be worrying over a man.

You’re about to splurt out everything under the sun about how you’ve loved her music since you discovered her, and that she soundtracked your life before The 1975 took over. But you don’t get a chance to, instead you’re left shocked to your core.

“I love your dates, they are so damn funny.” Taylor grins, and you can see she genuinely means it.

This has you entirely gobsmacked though. You deadpan, “You know who I am?”

“Yes, of course I do.” Taylor nods with a toothy grin now, “I’ve seen so many of yours and Amelia’s dates, not to mention the golden globes last night, hello. You were amazing.”

You fully gasp, beyond yourself about being in her presence and her knowing who you are on top of that, “I can’t believe you know who I am.” You’re in complete disbelief, turning to glare at Matty for a second before your gaze is back on Taylor as if you looked away from her for too long, she’d disappear. “I’ve been listening to your music since I was sixteen, and you know who I am! What fucking world am I living in?”

Taylor’s eyebrows raise and her face shows amusement like this is the funniest thing she’s seen all day so you recoil into yourself with the feeling of your cheeks heating up, “Sorry, I'm so embarrassing,” You scorn yourself catching just how over the top your reaction must be before explaining, “The last however many days feel like a fever dream.”

She clicks her tongue, waving your apology off, “Don’t apologise, you’re fine.”

So in an attempt of making less of a fool of yourself, you try your hardest to get into your Date character when you say, “Anyway, when’s 1989 Taylor’s Verison?”

The shriek of laughter that leaves Taylor’s red lips has you feeling fuzzy inside. The next few minutes you’re just going on and on about her music and in return you get some random details and stories from her that you’d never think of finding out in your life.

Taylor had just asked you which songs you’d say are a must on the set list, and after the long response you gave her, you add, “You know I was so ready to plan a trip over to the States so I could go to your tour but Ticketmaster absolutely fucked me over and I’m still on the wait list.”

“Oh yeah, sorry, that was a horrible mess.” She cringes to herself and you feel so bad when she continues with a sorrowful tone in her voice, “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“Of course! But you’re the Taylor Swift, it was to be expected.” You reply, matter-of-factly because you had been expecting it to be a hassle but not that much of a mess.

“Awh you’re too kind.” Taylor coos at you and reaches her hand out to give your forearm a soft squeeze before her hand comes back to her side and she sighs in forlorn, “I mean, I get that but also this new system… I really thought it would be so helpful to avoid scammers but it didn’t and on top of it all, it just made it so much worse didn’t it?”

“It really did.” You say honestly, with a soft pout. “And here I thought getting my Harry tickets had been hell enough.”

The pop star gives you a sad smile hearing that but she backtracks to what you said first, “So you still haven’t got tickets?”

You shake your head, “Unfortunately not.”

Being the absolute best, Taylor grins brightly at you and offers, “Well you’re so welcome to come over whenever you want once the tour starts.”

“Are you serious?” You can’t help your hand flying over your mouth in shock.

Taylor finds your reactions so adorable, she giggles before agreeing, “Absolutely! You can come with Matty, I’m sure he’d be down to go. Right?”

Up until that moment, Matty had stood watching you two interact and melting over how ecstatic you were to have one of your favourite artists in front of you. You were practically gleaming with happiness and that made him feel elated.

You had fully forgotten he was there, completely taken by the situation you were in and when you turned to see him as he said, “‘Course. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” with a wink aimed at Taylor, you felt your stomach flip inside you.

You scorn yourself mentally, feeling so stupid to subconsciously react that way but Taylor playfully adds, “Plus, there’s nothing better than crashing one of your friend’s gigs is there?” with a smirk took you back to the moment you were in.

The three of you laugh, you know she’s clearly referring to herself and what she’s doing there but then Matty corrects her by saying she wasn’t crashing the gig, but making it even better, earning giggles from Taylor and a sweet thank you.  

“So I’ll expect you sometime later this year.” Taylor says, looking at you expectantly.

And despite not knowing if attending with Matty would even be possible in the future, you still give her the biggest smile and the most heartfelt, “Thank you for that.”

“My pleasure, Y/N.” The blonde says and it feels like the end of the conversation so you turn to Matty in slight panic and he saves you by starting another conversation up.

Though this time, it feels more like they’re talking with each other and you’re just merely a spectator. Laughing when they laugh is all you get in, and watching them avidly exchange words has your insecurities rising back up. You thought your imposter syndrome couldn’t get any higher than it did last night but it certainly feels just as prominent again now.

In your head, they start to make sense the more minutes pass. They get each other in so many ways. They make music, they get what it’s like growing up famous, the aches of not having privacy, the torturous cycle of record, drop an album and tour, and repeat.

And as they go on and on, you find yourself comparing your life to Taylor’s and how you’ll never truly be able to understand what it’s like for him. You’re new to all of this in general, and you already feel imposter syndrome at all the events you're invited to, but this makes you feel like a fish out of water. Your mind jumps to the ultimate conclusion that Matty would be much better off with someone like her. Someone on his level, someone in his league.

You’re silently suffering every second that goes by and it gets harder to laugh at Matty’s jokes with the growing knot in your throat. So, trying your hardest to sound normal, you excuse yourself to go get yourself a drink and you barely wait for their responses when you’re off.

Water is what you stick to, not wanting to add alcohol into the whirlwind of emotions you’re currently feeling just in case it would worsen it up. And you definitely didn’t need that when it’s your supposed official first outing as Matty’s girlfriend.

You down a full cup of cold water like you’d been stuck in the desert for a whole week and you’re pouring yourself another one when you feel a pair of arms wrapping around your waist from behind. Those familiar curls come to tickle your skin when Matty hides his face in your neck and presses kisses to your skin there.

A smile breaks on your face slowly, allowing yourself to enjoy the moment but then you raise your head back up, hold your water filled cup, and you catch a glimpse of Ross talking to Taylor this time, people orbiting around subtly waiting for their turn to get a minute of the pop star’s attention and your insecurities can’t be held back any longer.

“Girlfriend?” You ask Matty, and the word leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, like you’re waiting for him to inevitably try to softly take it back.

He giggles, loving hearing that word tied to you, and he pecks your neck once more before nonchalantly replying, “Yeah, well, If you want to be?” He only words it like that just so you don’t feel suffocated if it’s not what you want, but god does he want to call you that every chance he gets from now on.

The fluttery feeling it gives him disappears completely when you let your voice drop almost entirely and he can barely hear you when you mumble, “I think it’s more do you want to settle for me?”

“Woah,” Matty’s grip on you loosens immediately and he moves to the side to see your face. And when he sees that you’re deadly serious he grabs your hand and instructs, “Come here.”

The curly haired man pulls you in the direction of the hallway, out of the big green room and into the next room which is also theirs but has only a few members of their crew chatting together and writing some stuff down.

Matty knocks on the halfway open door and asks, “Can we have the room please?” his worry entirely written on his face so everyone nods eagerly and they quickly get their things to leave. “Thanks.”

As you’re both waiting for people to clear the room, you can feel his thumb stroking the back of your hand as he holds it and you wish that helped everything you were currently feeling. But it doesn’t. It just makes you think that you’re about to lose it, lose this, and that after this conversation you probably won’t ever experience it again.

The second the last person is out and they’ve closed the door behind them, Matty steps around you to face you and grabs your hands, “What do you mean ‘settle’ for you? Do you really think being with you is settling?”

He hopes that his touch is enough to help you feel better but it’s clear this is much more than a small concern when you shrug and admit, “Yeah. To be entirely honest, yeah, because you could do so much better.”

His jaw drops slightly, his heart sinking to the pits of his stomach and his hold becomes stronger as he almost begs for you to be joking, “Please, please tell me you’re winding me up because that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

The knot in your throat tightens and you know if you even try to open your mouth, all that will come up is a stupid cry so you stay silent, letting your eyes drop from his in embarrassment. You feel even worse when he dips his head, trying to get you to look at him and his voice goes quiet when he asks, “Do you not want this?”

His words were laced with such sorrow that it kicks you in the gut and makes you look up, shaking your head eagerly to deny that, “I- no, I do,” You clear up the quickest you can but you think it’s best if you just say your thoughts aloud so you let your insecurities fall from your lips, “But you could be with someone like Ta-”

“Don’t say that.” Matty stops you hastily. He pulls you in by your hands, letting them drop so his hold is now on your waist and he stares right into your eyes to tell you, “Don’t compare yourself to other people when we’re talking about us.”

You’re about to tell him that you can’t help yourself, not when even your best friend can see it being possible, but he beats you to it as he reassures you further, “I want to be with you, okay? I’m the one massively punching here and I can’t believe you think that being with you is anywhere near settling because it’s not.”

Your brows furrow and the corners of your lips drop when you fight his argument with a sad tone in your voice, “You are not the one punching.”

But Matty won’t let that thought continue to be a thing inside your mind because it couldn't be further from the truth, “I am.” He reassures you again and brings one of his hands up to cup your jaw.

“Baby, you’re breaking my heart.” His eyes are looking straight into yours, begging for you to drop all of it, for you to stop believing yourself and start abiding by what he’s telling you to be the truth.

It’s hard though, when all that you can think of is him regretting his decision of ever having something with you because he realises he could have anyone he could’ve ever wanted. You don’t want to be a waste of time for him.

There’s no way you could embarrass yourself any further now so you let your thoughts freely fall out of your mouth, “I just don’t want you to feel like you've wasted your time ever being with me when you could have someone so much better.”

You can barely get the last word out before a sob rips through you and all he can think of doing is crush you into a hug, because his words don’t seem to be helping at all. His heart breaks feeling you shake in his arms, the collar of his shirt getting wet from your tears and they burn his skin like cigarettes being put out on him.

Matty just lets you cry it out, dropping kisses on top of your head as you do, rubbing one of his hands up and down your back and telling you that, “You’re fine.”

There’s a small moment of clarity when you realise just what you’re doing and you pull back to aggressively wipe your tears as you curse under your breath, “For fucks sake, I’m sick of crying. Jet lag is doing me so dirty.”

Something clicks when you say that, his hands slowly going down your sides until they settle on your hips again and, pouting, he asks you for confirmation, “This is why you were upset when you were away too, isn’t it?”

But your quick, “No.” is not convincing to him, despite it being the truth so he says, “Baby.” sternly under his breath because he just wants you to continue being open with him, so you can work it out.

And you give him just that, sighing and retelling what had happened, “Amelia said something and it just got to me because I’d been awake like thirty hours. I didn’t-,” You cut your own rambling before your voice breaks again and inhale deeply to continue, “I didn’t want to think about what this was when I was meant to be hosting the fucking Golden Globes, but then you hesitated before and it brought it all back.”

The way your chest heaves as you’re trying to swallow a sob has Matty holding back from becoming visibly upset himself, forcing himself not to tear up because he wants to remain calm for you.

Softly, he starts explaining just what happened before, “I only hesitated because I don’t know if that’s what you even wanted.” He stops, trying to think of a better way to put it because he didn’t want to sound like an arsehole, “I know I asked you at that party and I was serious about it but I didn’t know if you remembered because we hadn’t talked about it since. I didn’t know whether you just wanted to fuck for a while and then leave it as friends.”

Your chin wobbles after hearing him and all you can think of doing is admitting, “I don’t want to be your friend.”

Taking the chance to make a joke so he lightens up your mood, he flashes you a sad smile as he finishes the lyric, “You want me to kiss your neck?”

And thankfully that has you snorting, “You’re a dickhead.” You tell him, fighting a smile entirely a product of amusement, and recoil into yourself when you proceed to admit, “But yeah I do.”

He lets you breathe, seeing you start to calm down. Your incessant tears and heart wrenching sobs are exchanged for bloodshot eyes and sniffling, and it’s when he feels you relax under his touch that he pleads, “Can we make this official then please?”

“You actually want that?” You know you’re being quite annoying with your lack of confidence but after having had all of those thoughts spinning around your head for such a long time, you feel like you need every bit of reassurance you can get.

His wholehearted faith in himself when he nods and says, “More than anything.” make you want to cry all over again, and the feeling only gets stronger when he continues on praising you, “I’ve told you I’m obsessed with you. I don’t wanna let you go. Struggled for the last few days baby, it’s been awful.”

You can’t help your eyes filling up with tears again, seeing Matty all blurry in front of you through them, your pout reappearing on your face.

Matty swears seeing you upset is one of the worst aches he’s felt, so he almost begs you to reply with a yes when he says, “Those better be happy tears.”

“They are.” You nod, pursing your lips when a few stubborn tears fall down your cheeks, and you repeat, “They are.” just to assure him you’re feeling fine now, “Sorry you know when you sometimes just need a cry.”

That he truly understands, but god does it hurt watching you get so upset over something you really shouldn’t. And he knows it’s all in your head, so there isn’t anything else he’d rather do than help you overcome moments like it.

“Come here.” Matty pulls you in again, his arms around your waist and yours snaking around his middle. He feels you nuzzling into his neck, completely melting in his embrace, and it feels so fucking nice to have you like this again.

The distance these few days have brought between you has been enough for him to know for certain that he wants something with you, so he can’t let more time go by without asking again, “So you’ll be my girlfriend?”

Perhaps is rather fucked up of your brain to bring on more obstacles that you can think of but you try to lighten it up by turning your brand new aching thought into a bit of a joke, so you lean back and look him in the eye before you carefully ask, “You won't get upset about me having to flirt with people for a living?”

Yet, Matty is so sure in his answer that he doesn’t even take another second to say, “Nope. Can talk about it more later if you want. I know it’s early on but you know when you can feel something is right? And I don’t want to waste any time with you, I’m all in. I really want to see where this could go.”

You feel every atom in your body melt at his words, a gleam in his eyes as he takes in every inch of your face and his heart starts beating faster in his chest when you smile brightly at him and give him a hint of a nod, “I want that too.”

Right then, he knows deep down that it’s a moment he’d live to remember. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but he hopes that the feelings bottled up inside the both of you meant that this between you would go on for far longer than the two of you could ever expect.

“Then it's settled, girlfriend.” That smirk you love so much makes an appearance and it somehow settles it all for you.

Now feeling more playful, you can’t pass on the opportunity to egg him on so you try your luck, “If I'm your girlfriend can you do something for me?”

His curiosity has him nodding almost instantly, “‘Course.”

But you watch him clearly deflate and give you a sarcastic roll of his eyes when your petition is for him to, “Play Antichrist.”

Narrowing his eyes at you, he leans in until you feel his lips brushing yours and he teases you by saying, “Some things not even girlfriends get the privilege of.”

“Then please put out the ubiquitass version of The 1975. Please.” You bargain this time, pulling back slightly so he doesn’t have the chance to avoid answering by sealing your lips together.

You’re actually surprised when he tilts his head to the side and smiles widely at you, “We might have another version of Being Funny somewhere.” He trails off mysteriously and your jaw drops.

“Is it coming soon? Are you actually putting it out? Are there more songs?” Your questions spill past your lips in a rush, eyes wide in intrigue.

But Matty leans into you and his lips brush against yours again when he lowers his voice to say, “I can’t say.” His eyes dropping from yours to look down at your lips, lets you know he’s about to kiss you so you don’t have the chance to dig for more information.

Not giving in, you lean backwards ever so slightly, creating a bit of distance between you before you just state, “Rude.”

And he fights that back by reminding you, “I just got you a date with Taylor Swift.”

Your eyes go wide when you remember that has happened only a few minutes before and you giggle in disbelief, words failing you entirely then.

So Matty softly chuckles at you and wraps his right arm around your waist to pull you impossibly close to him and he mutters, “Come here.” before cupping your jaw and pressing his lips on yours.

His hold on you is tight yet delicate, strong enough for you to know that he wants you as close as he can have you and his mouth moving on yours so passionately, you’re willing to give up oxygen entirely and forever if it meant feeling the way you do when he kisses you like this.

You reciprocate, arms going around his shoulders and one of your hands going up his neck until your fingers tangle in the hair at the nape of it. Pulling on it, he moans softly and you happily swallow that sound.

Both of you smile so hard into the kiss then, that it’s fully broken and, breathlessly, he pulls back just enough to watch your face and use his words to say what he was trying to express with that kiss, “I’m obsessed with you baby. You’re not allowed to forget.”

Entirely driven by your emotional state, your brows furrow again and you’re starting to pout when he lets a breathy laugh out that hits your lips and he reminds you, “No more crying.”

Using your nails to scratch lightly at his scalp where your fingers are, you let your pout turn into an attempt of a playful smile, “Well you better not do half your set then because I will be crying in the pit.”

The thought of you being upset again, even if it just was because of his music, has Matty needing to comfort you and to tell you how much he means it when he says he adores you, but he knows that if he keeps talking, you’ll cry again so his solution is to kiss you one more time.

His lips are plush against yours, moving so sweetly and patiently with yours like he’s just signed a lifetime away to dedicate merely to kissing you. Like he now has all the time in the world to feel you like this so he won’t rush it anymore, he’s now entirely focused on enjoying every second he gets you this way.

His fingers on your waist clutch you tighter, his fingers pressing into your skin make for a new familiarity brewing that makes you sigh in content into the kiss. Your lips open and he takes the silent invitation for his tongue to come into your mouth.

Humming in bliss, you both take your time taking each other in, breathing heavily through your noses and willing this to last as long as you can until there’s a moment when you remember everything that has happened these past few days and you have to break the kiss since you start feeling emotional again.

You’re not going to cry anymore or at least that’s what you’re trying not to do, closing your eyes for a fair few seconds with your forehead pressed to his and noses bumping in such proximity.

You sigh but smile, opening your eyes to look into his and whispering right against his lips, “I’m obsessed with you too.”

His nose rubs against yours in a eskimo kiss and you see the corners of his eyes wrinkling as he smiles and whispers back, “Are you okay?”

You nod, grinning to yourself when you feel his unruly curls brushing your forehead, tickling you in a way you’re growing to love, “Yeah, I think I just need a super long sleep to get me back in working order.”

Matty playfully snorts and rolls his eyes, “Absolute Grandma.” and he has you back to giggling with him how he’s used to.

“Know me so well.” You laugh, nodding in confirmation.

The singer kisses you once more before he pulls you into another big hug, and it lasts a long time. You only now realise how just how much you need it, everything feels like it did before, like all is at peace when you’re being held against him so tight.

Your curly haired brunette can’t stop himself from reiterating, “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” You hum, closing your eyes and squeezing him that bit tighter.

You just spend a solid few minutes hugging each other and gently talking, Matty making sure to rub up and down your back and do anything to make you that little bit less emotional. He can’t believe his lucky stars though.

You’re his girlfriend. Even when he thinks about you officially having that title a smile comes to his lips. He’s so enamoured by you, he’s so happy you even want to be with him in the first place, he can’t wait to let himself get a little more romantic with you.

Another minute passes by before your little conversation is interrupted by a knock on the door followed by someone calling, “Matty?”

“Give us a minute.” Matty calls back, not wanting this moment with you to end just yet.

But unfortunately the singer hears his guitar tech inform him, “Your Mum’s here mate, she’s currently got Taylor Swift in about five pictures.”

Hearing that makes you giggle in his arms, picturing it with ease and you can practically feel Matty cringing at the thought. But he doesn’t break your moment, he just shouts back, “Be there in a sec.”

You feel a kiss on the top of your head and he releases a content sigh as he rubs up and down your back. And you give him another tight squeeze before you release your hold on him and pull back a little so you can look up at him.

He softly smiles at you, seeing that your eyes are still a little puffy from you getting upset. But you just look so damn cute to him. Looking all smiley with his merch on and you’re in his arms and you’re his girlfriend. He’s never been so happy.

“Are you okay?” Matty asks as he cups your face again, and he smiles when you lean into his palm a little as he gently strokes your cheek, “Do you wanna wait here for a minute?”

The singer is in no rush to go and see his Mum. Especially now because he’s nervous to introduce you to her. Not because you wouldn’t like each other but because he knows his Mum is very full on.

“No, it’s okay.” You shake your head, you’re feeling very composed again now thankfully. But you do need to ask, “Do I look like I’ve been crying?”

“A little bit, yeah.” Matty tells you honestly as he moves a loose strand of hair out of your face.

You pout and sigh, “Shit.”

He’s softly smiling at you though and he laughs at you scorning yourself before he shushes you when he continues, “Still very pretty though, so don’t worry.”

Your tip twitches at that and it takes a lot in you not to call him out on it and deny his compliment. Instead, you bite your tongue and appreciate what he’s said with a smile, but you do chuckle anxiously, “Your Mum’s going to think I’m a headcase.”

“My Mum already loves you.” Matty assures you.

Because the amount of times after your date first aired that he heard Denise say things like, ‘You should ask her out properly Matt… Someone like that would be good for you... You need to put yourself out there again and a girl like her would be lovely.’

Not to mention when you released the ‘Spicy Edition’ of your date a few weeks later, Matty got a FaceTime from her then quite seriously demanding, ‘You need to get a grip and hurry up and ask that chicken shop date girl out before someone else finds out how wonderful she is… I just replied to her story saying how amazing she looked at those GQ Awards and bless her, she replied saying ‘Just trying to look as good as you do on Loose Women’... I love her Matt. Ask her out before you come round for dinner one day and she's already sat at our table.’

Little did Denise know that he already had full intentions to go on another date with you. But her incessant pestering just meant that he wanted to keep you out of her mind so she didn’t put you off.

You chuckle but shake your head, “You’re too nice.”

“Just telling you the truth.” Matty assures you, “She’s going to be over the moon.”

That makes your heart swell and you can only hope she does like you. You’ve looked up to her for years, even before you knew about Matty.

“Lets not keep the UK’s Kris Jenner waiting.” You grin and slip your hand into his so you can encourage him to find his Mum and say hello.

Matty kisses you once more before you both leave the room and you can’t help but notice the stark contrast to how you felt entering the room to now leaving it. You can’t believe you’re somebody’s girlfriend again, Matty’s especially. If you think about it for too long though, you’ll get too emotional again so you try not to think about just how lucky you are just yet. You’ve got inlaws to meet.

You both hear her before you see her, she was asking the guy who must have been the one to knock on the door a little earlier asking, “You said he was this way?... Lincoln, come on, he’s this way. Let's go say hello to my son who can’t be bothered to greet me.”

Matty makes you chuckle when he groans about his Mum, “I don’t know how he puts up with her.”

“Leave her alone.” You shake your head, knowing he’s just being dramatic over it, more than likely because he’s nervous to introduce you.

But Matty persists, “You’ll be begging her to do that to you after tonight.”

You’re about to tell him that you really won’t when Denise comes around the corner and all of you stop to greet each other. It seems the Loose Woman hasn’t seen you just yet because she just reaches out to her son to embrace him, “Oh Matty, there you are.”

“Hiya Mum.” Matty says, and you let his hand slip from yours so he can return her big hug.

“Hi darling,” Denise gives her son a squeeze but when she sees from over his shoulder that you are just behind him, her eyes go wide and she exclaims, “Oh, it's you!” and Matty is let free from the hug and all of her attention moves to you as she excitedly grins, “You’re his chicken nugget date girl!”

This makes you laugh instantly, loving that she remembers you from your date with her son, but the mis-titling of it is hilarious. Gosh, you already love Denise Welsh so much, and you have a feeling once you get to know her, you’ll love her even more.

“How many times have I told you that she has a name and it’s Y/N?” Matty scolds her, shaking his head, but you’ve taken no offence to it at all.

She can call you Matty’s chicken nugget girl for the rest of time and you’d be happy with it. Not to mention, forever entertained.

“Sorry pet, I didn’t mean to be rude.” She smiles and she offers you a hug which of course you accept.

“It’s okay.” You assure her, giving her a squeeze before taking a step back and Matty slips his arm around you.

“Mum,” Matty says as he rubs his hand up and down your side comfortingly, and he looks at you as he introduces you properly, “This is Y/N, my girlfriend.”

Matty looks so proud to say it, and to say it confidently. He wishes he would have said it confidently earlier and avoided your upset but it’s a conversation that needed to happen and he has no doubt he’d be talking to Taylor with you again. He will be sure to state it louder and prouder then.

“Oh thank god you asked her out.” Relief can be heard in the actress’ voice and you’re listening to her as she starts to say, “I’ve been going on at him since your date telling him to-”

But then she clearly looks at you a little bit closer and she interrupts herself, wanting to make sure you’re alright, “Oh love, are you okay? Why’d you look all upset?”

You’re about to tell her about your travels and your lack of sleep dramatically affecting how you regulate your emotions, but Denise assumes before you can tell her.

She looks at her son, almost giving him a death glare as she accuses, “What have you said Matthew?” and before either you can defend him or him himself, she looks to you and asks, “Has he upset you being all gobby?”

“Me?” Matty asks, wide eyed and offended, “Woman, you’re the gobshite of the family, I’m not the Loose Woman.”

At that Denise rolls her eyes scorningly before her expression softens and she looks back at you full of concern. But you make a point to assure her and get Matty out of the doghouse.

“No, nothing, he’s fine,” You promise her, smiling as you say, “I’m just really jet lagged and it’s making me unusually emotional.”

Matty raises his eyebrows, “See, eat your words now Mum.”

“Shut up Matthew.” Denise scolds him, waving him off before looking at you, still concerned and repeats herself, “Are you sure you’re okay, pet?”

“Yeah, my head’s just everywhere tonight.” You nod, giving her a smile, “I promise, I’m really happy.”

Matty pulls you into his side a little more at that and you let yourself indulge in it and lean in. And you can’t help your smile getting bigger when you feel him kiss the top of your head again, and his actions have his Mum’s heart aching seeing her son so happy again.

“Awe look at you both, such a gorgeous couple.” She coos, grinning at the scene in front of her, but when your smile gets bigger she can't help but add looking straight at you, “And you’re really pretty.”

“God, don’t make me cry again.” You say, feeling your eyes well up again, and you fan your eyes with the one that isn’t wrapped around your boyfriend.

Denise steps forward to gently grab your hand, “No, hunny.”

“Sorry,” You smile, blinking to try and make the tears dissipate, “A lack of sleep really doesn’t agree with me.”

“Don’t we know it.” Matty grins.

You fake a glare and nudge him, “Shut up you.” but this has Denise in stitches.

“Oh, you’re going to fit in the family so well.” The actress grins, and she can tell just from the small interactions she’s seen between you that you really mean a lot to him and that he really likes you. She’s so happy he’s made the effort with you, she knows how badly he needs someone like you in his life, so she grins, “Someone to keep him in check.”

After chatting a little more, you get introduced to her husband Lincoln and his little brother Louis and you’re pleased that they all seem to like you. All of you end up back in the green room where you find new but familiar faces. And you’re grinning once more when you watch Denise hug Flo before both you and Matty get your turn with her.

Matty gets to her first though and grins, “Heya Wheels.”

She smiles back at him, greeting him with a tight hug, “Hey Curly, where’s Y/N/N?”

Her question reaches your ears just as you reach her side and you greet her with an enthusiastic, “Hi Flo.”

She turns around to hug you this time but he smile entirely falls when she sees you face and before you could even open your arms to embrace her, she’s whipping her head back to face Matty and almost hisses through her teeth when she says, “What the fuck have you done?”

“I’ve not done anything.” Your boyfriend raises his hands up in sign of innocence but Flo doesn’t buy it one bit.

“Has he done something to make you upset?” She grabs your hands as she asks with a frown on her face.

You can’t help but giggle, heart warming at her concern for your state but you shake your head and smile at her to settle down her worries, “No no, I'm just really jetlagged and I keep crying. I promise everythings fine.”

You watch as her face softens and her hand rests on her chest while she lets out a long exhale, “Oh thank god,” she starts, turning back to Matty with an accusing finger pointing at him, “Because I was gonna fight you, making the most gorgeous woman in the world cry. You’re lucky I didn't instantly slap you.”

You pout at her words, not accepting the compliment at all, “You’re too kind.”

But she doesn’t allow you to do that, she reiterates her point by saying, “No, just telling the truth, gorgeous.” and winking at you, which has you giggling as your cheeks heat up.

“Florence Turner, you can’t flirt with George and my girlfriend, pick one.” Matty scoffs, but then changes his words for a better scolding, “Better yet, pick your husband and baby daddy.”

Never has Flo been happier than to hear that the curly haired brunette has finally secured his girl. If she wasn’t in the mood to tease, she would be jumping up and down congratulating them.

“Baby daddy’s back on tour.” Flo smirks before wrapping her arm around your waist and telling Matty, “So I'm going to do more than just flirt with your girlfriend, don't you worry.”

You feel yourself get flustered by that sentence alone, but when she brings her other hand up to shield her lips from Matty as she whispers into your ear, you feel your mouth go dry. All Matty can do is watch as his best friend whispers something that makes you look away from him and start getting more flustered.

Flo drops her hand and moves back a little, enough to look at you knowingly and ask loud enough for Matty to hear this time, “How about it?”

“Sounds like fun.” You just about manage to force yourself to say and your lack of composure has Flo smirking.

She looks from you to Matty, and your boyfriend’s face being concerned yet desperate to know what was said makes it all the more rewarding.

Flo makes her exit then, turning around in the direction of her cousin to steal baby Hann’s attention for a bit, giving you two a little wave, accompanied by a mischievous grin on her face.

Taking your hand again, Matty asks, “What was that then?”

And despite how much what Flo told you has left you speechless, you try your best to change your expression for a taunting smirk and tut at your boyfriend, “That’s for me and Mrs Turner to know.”

“I’ll tell Alex.” Matty threatens loosely, with his eyebrows raising and eyes going wide as if he was entirely serious.

So you fully dare him to do it, intentionally making it seem like something else was said, “Tell him, I think he’d enjoy what she has planned.”

That bluff leaves him speechless and of course because he cannot live with being left with some intrigue, he’s trying to get it out of you the whole time until he and the lads are called up to go on stage.

At this point you get told to stick with Flo and you’re both given O2 wristbands and you both follow Jamie down to the floor where you see that glorious bat signal that reads ‘The 1975’. It makes you emotional, it hitting you again just how long you’ve waited to see this show, and before you even get to the sound desk where Flo is going to be staying, you tell her that you’re just going to head into the pit.

She offers to join you but you don’t think it would be wise for her in a place where all of the fans in here will know who she is, especially when she’s also carrying precious cargo. So after her telling you to meet you back at the desk before the last song ends, you disappear off into the sea of people.

You’re pathetically emotional throughout the whole set, mostly the first half of it though. You were tearing up as Matty started playing the piano and when each of the boys walked out on stage, as if you’re not shagging the man singing and have been with all of them for hours.

But suddenly it’s not anyone you know personally up on stage anymore. It's your favourite band, your boys, The 1975. And you get lost in the music.

It’s all a little much for you. Sincerity Is Scary, Fallingforyou, and all of the slower songs off the new album have you in tears. And when they reach About You and Carly comes out you’re absolutely done for. You’re crying the whole way through and your throat hurts with the way you shout Carly's lines back at her.

But then Taylor comes out and you lose it again even though you were half expecting the intrusion with the way they were talking earlier. Hearing Anti-Hero’s live debut was amazing and hearing her sing The City, which is still one of your favourites, has you crying again.

You dance and cry your way through the At Their Very Best section of the show, again losing your composure during Robbers. Although, Matty does make you laugh when he says, “I’m not kissing anyone in front of Taylor Swift. In front of the queen? Have some respect.”

He chuckles to himself after that, and he adds after a beat, “And I've got myself a missus remember? No more kisses for you lot.”

Everyone starts screaming hearing that, and it has you chuckling to yourself. Watching Matty you see him looking at the people near the barrier and he moves back to the microphone to correct them, “No, you're not about to get The Birthday Party.”

There’s a mumble of defeated chatter then, until Matty grins and tells the room of 20,000 people, “I’m just getting laid.”

Screams fill the room, but you just elect to die from the embarrassment despite only a handful knowing it's you. Your cheeks go stupidly hot and you genuinely hide into your hands for a second silently screaming, not believing he said that.

He moves on, telling everyone, “Now back to something a little more depressing.” and Somebody Else is queued in.

The rest of the set seems to fly by after that, and before you know it Give Yourself A Try is about to finish and you’re watching in awe as the band waves to everyone who came to see them and it hits you square in the chest when you see just how happy Matty is as he’s waving to everyone.

When they turn off the power at the lamppost and the room erupts once more, you get lost in the sea of people. You just give yourself a second in your spot, taking everything in, thrilled to bits with the show and it was everything you wanted and more.

Turns out this was a bad thing to do, because you get a few people recognising you, which turns into a lot of people recognising you. You don’t mind taking pictures or saying hello to anyone but after the 25th one, you don't really see a way out of your predicament.

You should have gone back to the sound desk a song early like Flo said. But no, you got caught up in the moment seeing your favourite band. You’re in a lot more videos and selfies over the next few minutes until thankfully a security guard recognises you and comes over to help and the crowd around you starts dissipating, finally leaving the floor.

The room is practically empty when you look around it now, most of the people have already vacated and the sound desk is empty and you’re a little bit stuck for what to do until you’re escorted by that steward to the thankfully another security guard that you recognise and you ask him to radio Mark or someone who can confirm who you are.

When you finally get back to the green room, the room is buzzing, and it’s Flo who finds you and hugs you first apologising that she left the room without you as she couldn’t spot you. Denise then gets to you and you chat about how good the show was until your eyes land on a freshly showered Matty entering the room again.

He’s in joggers and his chicken shop date hoodie now and he looks so adorable you could cry again. But it’s just when his lips find yours again and his arms find home around your waist, you feel so overwhelmed by everything you just wish you could escape from everyone and it be just the two of you again.

After telling him how proud you are of him and how amazing the set was, he can clearly see you’ve been crying and asks how you are. Once he’s certain you’re alright you end up congratulating the other boys and you have another longer chat with Taylor.

She’s certainly everything you hoped for and more. She promises you a chicken shop date and tickets to the eras tour and you think January 12th 2023 might just be the best day of your life.

The excitement to watch the gig tonight had clearly been all that was fueling you so a little later when Ross asks Matty if you and him are coming to the after party, you decline straight away.

You tell your boyfriend that you’ll be alright going back home alone because you are dying to shower and get in bed, but Matty refuses to leave your side so he tells Ross he’s skipping tonight and that you two will be seeing him tomorrow.

The bassist smirks when that happens, biting his tongue not to call Matty a simp because it was certainly weird of him to skip an after gig party.

You make sure to hug everyone goodbye, feeling so incredibly happy to be in the presence of all these people yet so sad to see the day ending already. For a second you consider if you could go a bit further, maybe a couple hours at the after party but when you’re hugging Carly goodbye and your eyes struggle to stay open, you know you can’t.

Going home with Matty was making you giddy though. You’re buzzing inside even though your eyes are half lidded and your steps are clumsy. Matty has his fingers intertwined with yours and he guides you with giggles through the venue and out to get into one of the many private cars Jamie had organised.

It’s no surprise you fall asleep with your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder on the drive back to what you realise it’s his house when he softly wakes you. When he unlocks his door and lets you go in first, you smile brightly to yourself at the memories that come when you see his concrete walls.

“Is it weird I’ve missed your concrete bunker?” You ask with a loopy tone in your voice, eliciting a string of giggles out of him that make your heart swell in your chest.

Thankfully, you had left a copious amount of clothes at his place before you left for LA because he had gone a bit overboard about how much clothes you needed to take back to his during that first week of the month.

So you shower as quickly as you can, already dreaming of resting your head in the plush pillows and letting your eyes close, and once you get out, he watches as you languidly try your best to quickly get in one of his big tops and dry your hair before finally getting in bed.

“I missed you so much baby.” Matty whispers into your neck as he kisses your skin softly and pulls you closer to him.

You hum in utter bliss, feeling so complete being cuddled into him and hearing him reiterate that he missed you makes your insides flip.

“I missed you too.” You reply yet again but not any less honestly.

But you’re drifting off rapidly so you don’t get to hear what he says next which is, “I adore you.” and before you fully let yourself fall into slumber, you reply with a mumble of gibberish that has him giggling before he falls silent and just watches you drift away in well needed rest.

~*~*~*~

Matty allows himself to sleep in the next morning, knowing he doesn’t have anywhere to attend to until past noon so he can spend the whole morning clutching you and getting the sleep you two so desperately need.

But that backfires when you’re both woken up to Matty’s phone going off incessantly and when he groggily answers, he curses under his breath and apologises quickly, promising he’ll be there as soon as he can and when you reach out for your phone, you see the time and it all makes sense.

It’s only about an hour and a half until soundcheck and you are still in bed.

Despite his freshly made promise, Matty doesn’t make the effort to actually get out of bed, instead he lets his phone drop on his night table and scoots closer to you, nuzzling his face in the back of your neck and kissing every inch of your skin there.

“Baby, we need to go.” You remind him as you struggle to turn around in his hold.

Matty groans into your neck, like he’s refusing to listen to you but you tangle your fingers into his curls and pull on his hair so he can see you but the reiteration of your words die in your throat when he lets out a low moan at your action.

Your jaw falls a bit at the sound and he giggles in response, dipping his head to kiss you feverishly, moaning again when you let your lips part and your tongues meet.

Before it can go further, because you can feel his hands starting to roam, you take the role of being the responsible one and break the kiss, standing up from bed and forcing him to follow suit.

The wave of incoming messages that flood Matty’s phone the more minutes go by are what rush you two getting ready for the day and after a bit over an hour and a half, because Matty forced you to have breakfast calmly with him, you’re standing right in the middle of the barricade, watching your favourite band - or better said, your boyfriend’s band - soundchecking for a second sold out show at the O2.

It’s mesmerising seeing them work their magic on stage even if it’s just a soundcheck. Them playing around and laughing aloud but also being meticulous of every little detail sounding just how they want it to, has you leaning into the barrier with your forearms and stare at them all with an incredible sense of pride.

And, of course, you’re stuck staring at every move Matty makes. From the way his fingers run up and down the neck of his guitar, to the way he nods slowly as he hears the bass and the guitar in his in-ears, how he mumbles to himself as they go along and the winks he gives you whenever he turns to look at you.

Matty is also making sure to explain at the best of his ability just how he wants the interludes to go today, because he wants a different thing to happen at this show and you’re fully invested in every direction he gives everyone and how he’s laying it all to be. You can’t wait to see it on the actual show.

You had thought it was impossible, but you find yourself growing more and more entranced by him as the day goes by and in the greenroom, where you all are now after soundcheck had finished, you realise how most of the time you’re stuck mindlessly glancing at him as he engages in conversation with the lads.

That’s until your phone vibrates with a message. One from Amelia that says, On my way to the arena! Can’t wait to see you! xx that somehow gets you nervous.

It’s not that you feel like she’s going to take this in a negative way but you fear that she sees something you can’t and it once again pops the bubble you are in.

So you’re shifting in your seat and fiddling with your fingers the whole time after that text. Matty notices and he rests his hand on your knee, tracing circles on your skin and he leans in to whisper, “Are you okay?”

You could only nod and because you know he’ll get why you feel this way, you tell him, “Amelia is on her way.”

And just like you thought he would, he gives you a sweet smile before leaving a string of  chaste pecks on your lips before he softly promises you, “It’s gonna be okay.”

You feel a bit foolish when your best friend arrives and she traps you in a tight hug as she says loudly, “Why’d you leave me early, I missed you on the plane next to me bitch!”

And when Matty chats back to that with, “Play nice, that’s my girlfriend you’re talking to Dimz.” the loud screech Amelia lets out makes you wince and laugh loudly.

Her face is priceless, a wave of surprise, disbelief and pure happiness for you as she leans back to see you in a way of silently asking for confirmation and when you nod, she screeches again and pulls you in for an even tighter embrace.

“Your Tumblr dreams came true!” Amelia yells as if that was a good way to congratulate you and you hear the room breaking out in laughter behind you.

Amelia greets everyone in the room after that and the night continues but you’re so relieved when she takes a minute to pull you aside and wholeheartedly say she’s so beyond happy for you, that it was about damn time someone wasn’t blind to how amazing you were and cheekily adding that she knows Matty is the one for you.

Emphasising heavily on ‘the one’ which she knows you get exactly what she’s playing at but you’re quickly glaring at her and hissing through your teeth at her to keep her mouth shut. Because you’re not about to get your boyfriend scared off over a fanfic you wrote years ago about him coincidentally called, ‘The One’.

When you both go back into the conversation everyone’s having, Matty making you sit on his lap and wrapping his arm around your waist, you feel so warm inside because it feels like you’re part of this little family and you truly don’t know when it was that you got so damn lucky.

And in a further rush of luck, you and Amelia get a message on the group chat you two have with your manager that intriguingly just reads, Need you two in a call with me urgently in two minutes x

You look at each other with a frown and you show the message to your boyfriend so he can loosen up his hold on you as you excuse yourself out of the room, at the same time as Amelia does.

Out of everything that you were expecting, which wasn’t much, you weren’t expecting the fucking insane proposition you got to which you both said yes instantly.

Coming back into the room ten minutes later was weirdly grounding after the fever-dream-like situation that had just happened, and it shows in both your faces just how insane that call had been.

The whole room goes silent as they see you walk in, clutching Amelia’s hands for dear life and your faces are twisted in the most amusing expression of surprise.

“What happened?” Matty asks almost desperately, Amelia and you are moving like sloths and your eyes are so wide they look about to pop out of your heads.

Amelia stutters when she tries to speak first, making everyone even more confused but then in a rush of adrenaline, you manage to interrupt her gibberish by announcing, “We’ve just been asked to host the Oscars after party for Vanity Fair.”

It doesn’t feel real you saying it, but what is real are the gasps and cheers you hear in the room. It’s only a mere second before every sense of yours is taken over by Matty running to hug you and Amelia, almost throwing the three of you on the ground in the process.

“Congratulations!” is all you hear around for the next ten minutes, everyone asking about how that had happened and it’s when you and Amelia start narrating how the call had gone that it hits you and you get a bit emotional.

But your tears are stopped when Charli comes over to crush you two in a hug and saying, “I got invited to it and was gonna say no, ‘cause like I don’t like anyone there but now that you’re going then… Might as well party together.”

Amelia squeals just at the same time as you do to the news and the three of you hug again, already fucking buzzing for what that night will be like. George being the best, brings shots to celebrate and it feels like the party has started even before the show has gone.

You hug your best friend when you get her alone for a bit and you tell her that you love her with your whole heart, leaving a loud kiss on her cheeks and squeezing her so tight in a hug she’s giggling uncontrollably.

All that you feel at the moment is like your dreams have ultimately come true and that makes you feel completely unstoppable.

So when the guys eventually go on stage, and you and Amelia run for your life to get to your seats, you’re living every second of the gig like it’s the last you’ll ever attend.

There’s a different feeling brewing inside you as the songs go and you see Matty doing his usual antics on stage, but your mind short circuits when Amelia leans in just as the band is doing their synchronised side step dance at the end of I’m In Love With You - which had melted you completely at how fucking happy Matty looked on stage - and she says, “That’s literally your boyfriend on stage.”

You understand the reference so quickly and you cackle out loud, making some people turn to look at you for laughing in that moment but you pay them no attention because you turn to your best friend and gasp shortly, “It actually is!”

Every emotion you feel during the gig is amped by a thousand percent and that’s why by the end of it, you let yourself desperately run back to the greenroom and crash Matty into a dizzying needy kiss when you find him right outside the room.

“Take it, it was a good set then?” Matty lets out a breathy laugh as he rhetorically asks, that feels warm against your parted lips when he breaks the kiss.

And you don’t even have it in your heart to be embarrassed so you nod eagerly, your fingers running through his curls and your eyes are taking every detail of his face. “As usual, baby.” You reply breathlessly, you just can’t believe your luck and it all wants to come pouring out of you so you pounce on his lips again and he responds with a soft groan and wraps his arms around your waist to hold you closer to him.

The kiss is broken early this time by your lovely best friend finally making it back, since you made the run alone a few minutes ago and left her behind, and calling you out when she sees you getting off with your boyfriend.

“Oi! There’s a kid present, you animals.”

You know she’s referring to Ross’s niece who’s inside the greenroom with everyone else, but the girl can’t see you and Matty outside so you flip Amelia off before she enters the room and she cackles as she reciprocates the action.

Matty giggles and kisses your cheek and then lets his kisses wander downwards until he’s leaving a wet kiss on your collarbone and you bite your lip to silence a soft moan.

“What’s gotten into you baby?” He asks with a smirk, but before you can answer, he adds, “Not that I don’t love it, I really fucking do. All of this. But I’m surprised, what did I do?”

Your teeth still have your bottom lip trapped so when the corners of your lips lift into a smirk, you look rather mischievous and something inside him flips. The feeling only gets stronger when you whisper, “Be my boyfriend.” and steal one last kiss out of him.

You could stay the whole night just kissing him then, but this time you’re both not missing the after party so once everyone is ready to leave, you’re walking out of the venue and getting crammed into a private car with Matty, Amelia, George, Charli, and Jamie en route to The Standard Hotel.

When you get there, you’re surprised by a little crowd of paparazzi that blind you with their intense flashes even from outside the cars, but it’s when you see those flashes that you realise that for yours and Matty’s privacy’s sake, you can’t be seen going in with him at all. Even if he does have more people in the entourage in the cars behind you, you can’t risk it.

So it’s decided at that point, The main four of them who would be expected in a car together would be getting out and you and your best friend would be looping around the block to come in with other less important people.

Matty quickly kisses and apologises before getting out but he tells you that he will wait for you just further into the reception of the building. Away from any prying eyes or camera lenses.

It takes 10 minutes waiting in the queue of cars to get back to the drop off point, and when you step out Amelia and you hold hands as thankfully less flashes go off, capturing you and your best friend. You know then that you’re going to have to leave with your best friend later as well just so the nosey bunch couldn’t ruin the novelty of your fresh relationship with Matty.

“Fucking hate them.” Your curly haired brunette mutters when he finally can wrap his arm around your waist and pull you to him when you’re all inside the lift.

You hum in agreement, “I know.” and you smile when he quickly leans in to peck your lips.

When the lift doors open and you walk into the big suite, where the music is already making the walls shake and the people inside talk louder than normal, you’re so relieved you don’t really have to hold back in there.

“We don’t have to hide here though.” You say into his ear, your arms wrapped around his neck and he looks at you with a smirk.

His eyes fall to your mouth and you tease him by running your tongue over your bottom lip, you hear him groan deeply before he’s attacking your lips hungrily, just like you wanted him to. You’re cupping his jaw, keeping him in the kiss and when you deepen it, all your inhibitions are out of the window. Your mouth opens to greet his tongue and you let out a loud moan when it presses against yours.

You’re kissing so hard, you both grow breathless rather quickly. “Baby, if you keep kissing me like that we’re not going to make it fifteen minutes in here.” Matty warns you, and it makes you giggle.

You lean up to him, letting your lips rest against his ear before you say, “Maybe that's what I’m hoping for.” and your jaw drops the tiniest bit to bite that slutty hoop of his, giving it a gentle tug before you pull away, letting your lust filled eyes linger on your curly haired brunette before you make you leave him in his place and make your way over to the bar to get yourself a drink.

Matty groans seeing you walk away from him after just doing that. You’re arse looking so good in that tight leather mini skirt you changed into before his set. No one backstage would have to bet that you were all Matty was thinking about during the consumption interlude tonight.

Little do they know he thinks about you every night he does it, and he has done for months. Ever since the first day he first let his hand slip into his boxers at the thought of you on the American tour, all he can think about is you.

Matty’s on you like a rash for the rest of the night. His hands linger on you every chance he can when someone's eyes aren’t on the two of you. His best opportunity is when you’re dancing with him, and when he turns you around and pulls you back against him, his hands are on your thighs running up and down until he lets his touch go further inside your thighs and you welcome it by pressing your hands over his and guiding him to continue.

His hot breath is on your neck, right below your ear and it makes you sway your hips even more intently so your arse is purposely rubbing on his cock, which you feel hardening the longer you dance.

It gets to a point his breathing grows erratic, from how hard he is and how badly he just wants to take you in the middle of the room if you wanted it, so his right hand comes up to wrap around your neck and turn your face towards him so he can seal the moment with a feverish kiss.

Your lips clashing as you continue to grind on him make you both go insane and you smile so hard to yourself when his chest is heaving against your back as he pulls back and with a husky voice, he suggests into your ear, “Let’s find somewhere to go.”

Matty turns you around by your waist, groaning at the loss of friction when your arse isn’t pressed against him anymore, and intertwines your fingers to look for a place you can sneak away to so you can freely continue what you had started.

You stumble into the bar first though and a drink sounds tempting after your activities on the dancefloor have left your mouth dry. There’s a wide selection to choose from and your mind is still so dizzy from every touch and every movement of your bodies that you’re unable to choose something to drink.

Ribbons decorate the complimentary bottles of champagne that the hotel has put out for everyone, and when Matty pulls you over to crack open another bottle, you giggle when it starts bubbling over and he lifts it to neck it straight from the bottle. Matty giggles too, and he pulls you by your waist so you're pressed against him and he leans the bottle up so he can pour some into your mouth. You do this with ease, swallowing the first few mouthfuls of it before the bubbles get too much and it overflows and the liquid trickles down from your mouth to your neck and chest.

The shine it gives your skin accentuates the way the corset you're wearing is holding you in. And Matty can’t help but dip his head and clean up the line of alcohol that has ran right down your breast bone and disappeared between your cleavage. You have to hold in a moan when he licks the stripe up from your boobs to your neck, and when he pulls back with the biggest grin ever, he loves seeing that spark of lust in your eyes again.

Matty just gets more ideas though because when he puts the bottle back down, he spots the ribbon tied around it again, and he can’t help himself. He takes the material off the bottle, and he guides it around the back of your neck, both ends on the front which he ties delicately into a little bow.

But you’re having too much fun watching him react to your teasing, so you lean into his ear to softly ask for it to be “A bit tighter please,” batting your eyelashes at him when you stand back straight and you have to bite your bottom lip to stop yourself from smirking.

You definitely fail because Matty looks at you entirely overcome by lust but also a certain sternness from knowing that you know exactly what you’re doing.

“Is that tight enough baby?” He asks you after he’s pulled on the bow to tighten the ribbon around your neck a bit and you nod, your bottom still caught in your teeth, so your answer is a hum which sounds almost like a whine.

Matty is done for after that, clutching your hand tight as he goes to find the nearest place you can both hide into so you can carry on what you’re doing, and the first door he’s able to find open to show a massive bathroom that looks just well enough to try and alleviate the tension that you’re both feeling.

He pulls you inside as he turns on the light and quickly closes the door, crashing his lips against yours and pushing you right against the door. One of his legs goes in between yours, making you open them up for him as he attacks your lips, the hand he’s not using to cup your jaw goes down until it’s brushing against your thigh and it starts an agonising path until it disappears under your skirt.

He is the one teasing you now, his fingers tracing the edges of your underwear and missing your centre just to make you beg for it. You have to stop kissing him, mouth agape as your breath leaves you and you’re holding back a moan when the ghost of his touch brushes over your aching clit.

You’re wet and he knows it even if he had barely grazed you and he’s about to run a teasing finger over your clothed cunt to make you more desperate when someone starts knocking incessantly on the door, making you jolt in Matty’s arms.

Holding your breath as if that would make the person leave, you stand there frozen in his arms, waiting for the knocking to stop so he can finally touch you but whoever is behind the door is very adamant on going in the bathroom because they keep knocking without a break until you and Matty are sighing in utter defeat and you have to turn around, turn off the light and open the door for the person to come in.

They must’ve been in a rush because they don’t even acknowledge you two and the door slams shut after you’re out.

You feel hot everywhere, your heart racing in your chest and your clothes feeling too constrictive already, lips plump and you suppose, your lipstick gone. Matty is sweating slightly, curls starting to stick to his forehead, lips swollen and wet and his heart also hammering in his chest.

Being the one to lead the way this time, you turn a corner into an area you hadn’t bothered to check yet and you find a room just by the end of a small hallway. Instantly, excitement rises up your stomach and trying to be quick, you open the door and fully drag Matty inside with you.

The room is spacious and it has a massive king size bed in the middle but it’s weirdly covered in a bunch of different coats and bags thrown over. You don’t even give it a second to mind because there’s some free space on the bed and you’re walking to sit on it as fast as you can, pulling Matty to stand in front of you.

Your boyfriend gets flashbacks to the night after your date, when you asked him to fuck your mouth and from the sparkle in your eye, he knows you’re thinking the same as him. He gets impossibly harder when you palm him through his trousers, looking up at him through your lashes and letting your mouth hang open as he moans at your touch.

His belt is the first thing you take care of after he lets a shaky moan like he’s going to cum in his boxers if you keep that up and you’re too horny to let a drop of him go to waste so with agile fingers you’re undoing his belt and the button of his trousers is next.

You’re halfway done pulling the zip down, catching a glimpse of the white waistband of his Calvins when the doorknob starts rattling, startling you both. You can hear people attempting to get inside the room, a muffled loud conversation and more rattling that’s soon replaced with knocking that just about drives you insane.

Giving your boyfriend an apologetic look, you let your hands fall to your sides and push yourself up from the bed. Leaving a sweet short kiss on his lips as his hands are getting him decent again.

There’s a pained expression on his face when he’s tucking himself behind the waistband of the Calvins so his hard on isn’t obvious and you feel so bad for him but you can’t help find the situation a bit comedic. A giggle falls from your lips and when he glares at you for it, you press your lips together and raise your hands up acting like that wasn’t you.

His senses are in overdrive. He’s painfully hard, he’s too hot in his clothes, his throat is dry and his head is threatening to start hurting from how the people outside the room won’t stop fucking knocking on the door.

Matty huffs when he’s done, stepping forward until he can grab your hand and you are once again taking the lead.

When you open the door, you’re greeted by a group of four people whose frowns drop when they see you and one of them asks, ���They told us we could leave our stuff here?”

You have no idea if that’s true, you’re guessing it is from the amount of things over the bed so you just shrug and open the door further for them to walk in, and thankfully, they’re so distracted to just leave their stuff as quickly as they can so they can go out into the party that they don’t even notice a miserable Matty right behind you.

There’s not a sight of another room after you leave that one so you’re both left to resign your mission and just keep to enjoying the party.

“Why don’t we just get a room?” He suggests with an air of defeat looming around him that you can’t help but find amusing.

“I actually do wanna party tonight.” You’re chatting back easily, trying to see for the first time how much you can push his buttons.

And when his face falls in despair, as he tries to fight back, “But-” you know you want to keep this up for as long as you can just to see at which point he could break.

“Plus there’s paparazzi outside,” You add a second excuse, “Don’t you think the receptionist would love a good tip off for the information of you and I getting a separate room?”

It wasn’t like you didn’t want it to continue, you really fucking did, but seeing this frustrated side of him was rather interesting and what was better than finding out more about your boyfriend.

Therefore all throughout the night you’re trying to steer him closer and closer to the point where he can’t have it any more. Either by dancing suggestively with Amelia and Charli as you stare right at him or making a show of ‘accidentally’ spilling some of your drink so you can wipe it with your thumb and sucking it clean.

It’s almost 3 in the morning when you pout at the sight of your boyfriend perched on a loveseat with a frown on his face and a drink in his hand. You go up to him with feign innocence, trying to act like you’re feeling bad for him and ask what’s going on as if you don’t know you’re the one orchestrating it all.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him, pout still comically dragging the corners of your lips down and popping your bottom lip for him to stare at.

With a hand coming to brush the curls falling on his forehead back, you wait until your touch relaxes him enough to offer you a hum in return and that’s when you purposely tug on his hair, shifting on his lap at the same time so he jolts at the friction lighting up a spark he had let die an hour ago.

His arm wraps around your waist instantly, not allowing you to move in the slightest and you find him glaring up at you with dark eyes. A giggle manages to escape your lips, followed by a not at all heartfelt, “Whoops.” that he doesn’t find amusing at all.

Matty doesn’t let his gaze falter on you, and you’re growing hot under it so in a further attempt to make it worse for him, you try to shift on his lap again but his hold gets tighter when he anticipates your action.

“Come on, let's go home.” Matty whispers in your ear, his sense of urgency showing when he subtly lifts his hips up as he straightens in his seat, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist that shows in between your skirt and your top.

“Okay.” You smile and spring up from his lap almost childishly, your feet already moving away from him and in the direction of your best friend.

Your boyfriend reaches out for your hand, clutching your wrist so he stops you in your tracks, “Where you going?”

“I’m going to have to go out with Amelia.” You explain quickly, your brows raising as if to remind him of the situation outside with the paparazzi.

He finally stands up, his chest coming to press against your arm as he leans in to say in your ear, “Didn’t know you were embarrassed to be seen with me baby.”

You fully roll your eyes at him and scoff, “Yeah so embarrassed, like you haven't been glued to my side all night.”

Quickly, Matty finds the words to bite back, “Like you’ve not been trying to suck my dick all night.”

But you know you have the last word when you quip back, “Like you’ve not been begging me to. Such a shame for you baby.” and he’s completely silent. You shrug and sigh victoriously and continue with your explanation, “Anyway, you know we have to go separate or we’ll never get a second's peace.”

Bless him though, he knows just how shit it is that you’re put in this type of situation so he pecks your cheek and you feel his heavy sigh against your skin, “I know baby, I just don't wanna leave you to get hounded by them.”

“I’ve got Ames, I’ll be okay.” You reassure him, cupping his jaw to leave a quick chaste kiss on his lips.

But before you can leave his side to get your best friend, he’s flashing you a smile and asking “You wanna get some food before we go?” as a tempting little bargain.

And that is how you, Matty, Amelia, Charli, and George find yourselves in Leader Chicken which is a 5 minute car journey away. You and Amelia left first, having that chicken shop in mind to go to and you ordered yourself a chicken burger meal and Amelia a chicken nugget meal.

5 minutes later the shop door opens again and your boyfriend, Charli, and George walk in and it turns a little rowdy. Matty tries to steal some of your burger which you elbow him away from you for doing. He asks, “Thought you exclusively ate nuggets in these places? Give me a bite.”

“I eat nuggets on dates because it doesn’t scream fuck me when I’m shoving a burger in my mouth, does it?” You frown at him, thinking that was a silly thing to suggest and a very invalid reason to give him some of your food.

Matty cocks his head a little to the side and tells you, “It didn’t scream that when you were eating nuggets to be honest.”

You frown properly at him hearing that, and you're more offended by that considering you thought he looked great on your first date. “Well, why did it when you were eating them then, you slut.”

“Don’t call me a slut with company around baby.” Matty whispers in your ear.

“Don't get your hopes up for anything now after that comment big boy.” You pat his arse twice before you move to stand with your best mate and Charli, taking a bite of your burger as you go.

George laughs at the way Matty’s face drops hearing that and the drummer wraps his arm around his best mate's neck and both of them start pissing about and laughing as they wait for the food. Once the other 3 have their food, the both of you split into different cars this time.

You and Matty drop Amelia off at her flat where Zoe comes out to collect her drunk sister and the food you ordered for her. After hugging your best friend goodbye, you spend the drive back to Matty’s house laughing and talking about the gig and the night but it’s something of a relief when you make it back inside Matty’s home.

The moment you’re inside you slip your shoes off and the concrete beneath your feet is a lovely cool sensation after you’ve been on your feet all day. Matty does the same before he picks you and you tell him to go and sit down and that you will get the both of you a drink.

When you walk into the lounge after getting the both of you a glass of water and you smile when you see your curly haired brunette. Matty has sat himself down on the settee, head backwards resting on the back of it, his eyes closed enjoying the silence around him. His legs are open and his arms come to rest down by his side, telling you that he really just plopped down on the settee with absolutely no intention of moving just yet.

Coming around to see him, you put your drinks down as you ask him, “Are you alright?” and you take a seat on him, straddling his lap, and bringing your hands up to his face so your touch can sooth him.

“Just tired.” Matty tells you, his eyes opening again so he can smile at you looking all stunning on his lap.

How the hell he’s managed to get you to be his is unreal. Never has he had better luck in his life.

And he makes sure he will never take that for granted. Your sweetness radiates when you smile so genuinely at him as you say, “You did great today, I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you darling.” Matty smiles, feeling so beyond happy and thankful he gets to call you his girlfriend now for however long you’ll have him. “Proud of you too.”

“What for?” You frown, not quite understanding. You’ve done nothing with your day but be by his side.

Matty chuckles a little at your lapse in memory, “You’re going to be hosting the Oscars after party. I’m beyond proud of you.”

“Oh shit,” You gasp, then laugh as you say, “How the fuck did I forget?”

“Big night for you, you saw your boyfriend on stage.” Matty plays a little, “Easily done.”

Of course you play along, “That’s it. Thank you for reminding me.”

You lean down then, only intending to peck his lips but as soon as they make contact you remember how good he’s been, and how much he’s probably aching for some relief even if his hard on has dissipated somewhat now. So you let your lips linger on his, pulling away to graze his before kissing him sweetly again.

All the while, your hands run slowly up his chest until you find the buttons of his shirt and once the first comes undone, the rest easily follow. Matty accepts all of your kisses as he tries his best not to smirk against your lips, but when you get more than halfway done undoing his shirt he can’t help but ask to tease, “What you doing baby?”

You kiss him again until you’re finished and pull the sides of it open, exposing his chest to you where you see your favourite tattoos. Your hands come to cup both of his cheeks, deepening the kiss this time and making your boyfriend moan against your lips, and you let your hands fall to his neck and slowly down his chest.

Only breaking your kiss to explain, “You always do this yourself,” You’re looking into Matty’s eyes as your one of your hands slip down his lower stomach, the other running back up to cup the back of his neck and when you continue in a sultry tone, “Think it’s about time someone else did it for you.”

As you pull him back into another searing kiss, you let your hand fully descend between both of your bodies and grab his crotch which has him moaning into your kiss.

Your fingers clutch tight around his hardening cock as you palm him over his trousers, and he’s a mess of whimpers and moans the more you continue until you decide he feels heavy enough under your fingers to go on. Swallowing a loud moan that slips past his lips by messily kissing him, you find yourself growing impatient to make him feel good so it’s you the one who breaks the kiss, but leaving him with a teasing tug of his bottom lip that you briefly catch between your teeth.

“Fuck.” Matty groans loudly at that, and he can feel your smirk on his skin as you kiss down his jaw and down to his neck.

You leave wet open mouthed kisses to his skin as you move up to his ear and smugly tell him, “If you ask nicely, I might.” and before he can backchat, you bite and tug on that slutty hoop earring of his which has his dick twitching and sharply inhaling.

He grasps your thighs tighter, “Baby, please.” and this time his fingers move higher up your skirt until they can dig into the flesh of your arse and make you hum in pleasure at the clear sign of his need for anything at this point.

Tugging at the zip of your skirt, you can tell he’s being completely driven by lust and it makes you chuckle in excitement, but you push his hands away in a silent instruction not to do what he’s not been told. Having this much power over him right now makes you feel giddy. “Want me to make you feel good baby?” You ask, moving back up so you can kiss his lips again.

“Yes.” He pleads, the desperation clear in his voice now because not being able to touch you adds so much more to it and it slightly pains him.

You smile at him, giving his dick one final squeeze as you lift yourself up from him entirely. His hands feel entirely lost without holding you now, but the feeling is clouded by the need of your touch on him again.

As soon as you grab a pillow from just beside him and put it on the floor by your feet, Matty’s heart rate goes through the roof. He can’t fucking wait, he’s been dreaming about having your lips wrapped around his cock again, you always look so heavenly when you do and christ the way you take him is so good. He can’t wait, his hips buck upwards as if he’s already imagining it all.

Still standing, you lean down over him, doing nothing to hide your smirk when you notice him glancing longingly at the way your cleavage is on full display for him. But his eyes close when your lips take up his again, and when he comes to cup the back of your neck, you don’t let him get too attached.

Instead you start your descent, kissing down his jaw, neck, and chest slowly. You’re dragging it out entirely but you want to kiss every last inch of him, and with his chest rising and falling faster than normal you know you’re working him up for what you have planned.

When you reach the waistband of his trousers, you have to really hold yourself back from shedding him off them and follow up with his boxers. Hunger is all that’s written in your eyes, a shadow of lust covering them in the way your pupils have dilated and almost made the colour of them disappear.

But ever since you saw that interlude tonight and the night before, you’ve got this train of thought that has been going round and round the back of your head and pushing its way to the forefront of your mind tonight. You want him to freely touch himself in front of you, moan as he fucks his own fist as a personal show for you, hear the things he says as he does so, let him run his mouth about what goes through his head whenever he does this.

In the best and briefest way you can, you tell him to do what you’re dying to see, “Tease yourself for me, give me the best view.” You sit back on your knees, giving him a look that he would be nervous to even dare defy, so he slowly lets his hands trail down his chest until it reaches the top of his trousers.

You watch as he shivers when his fingers ghost over his happy trail, letting out a shaky breath as he makes his best effort to keep his eyes on you while he does what you’ve asked him to, yet it’s hard when the look you give him makes him squirm on his seat even more.

There’s a bit of hesitation when his fingers hover over the button of his trousers, slowly undoing it but he pauses before he can get to the zip and looks at you like he’s asking for permission.

“Take them off.” You nod, not wanting the show that everyone else gets, you want the real thing and all of it.

Matty does as he’s told, unzipping his trousers almost instantly and pulling them down enough for you to take over and you let them pool at his ankles. Matty groans as he palms himself over his underwear until you look back up at him and watch as he takes his cock out.

You’re transfixed as you watch as he pumps himself a few times, spreading what precum is there before he spits into his palm so he’s not fucking a dry fist. Wet mouth falling open as he goes, soft gasps slipping past his pink lips and turning into full moans the tighter he squeezed himself.

“Good boy.” You smirk, watching as he fucks his fist, and you can’t help but press a kiss to his thigh before you lean your head on him entirely, continuing to watch.

But the simple feel of your lips on him, your touch anywhere on his body right now lights up a fire that he needs you to put out. Your fingers lightly trailing up and down his calf is even making him whimper, all he wants is your touch where he desperately needs you. He can’t find the pleasure he wants by giving it to himself as if it was just another lonely night on the road when he has you right in front of him.

He uses his breathless words to plead with you, “Y/N, please.” but his touch is still tight around himself, unable to stop when it feels so good after the whole night had gone incredibly wrong whenever you tried anything. “You’re so pretty when you’re moaning my name baby.” You praise your boyfriend, eliciting a whimper out of him. His brows furrow and he presses his lips together as he continues, heavy exhales out his nose this time, his cheeks turning a subtle shade of pink.

“Aw,” You pout, “You getting all shy on me now Matty?” but the tone in which you asked is mocking instead of pitiful, which earns you a pained cry of pleasure on his part.

“Why are you huffing like that?” You scorn him softly, “Thought this was what you wanted.”

Shaking his head profusely, he corrects you, “Want you baby, please.” but his hand doesn’t stop and you just laugh at how needy he is.

For a minute you give in, licking your hand before coming to replace his and your jaw falls slightly when he moans loudly at the feeling of your nimble fingers wrapping around him and stroking him up and down at almost the same pace he had set for himself.

You’re fighting yourself in your head when you quicken your movements, causing him to grow louder and squirm more under you, hips bucking to meet your fist more often as the seconds go by.

But just when his breaths shorten and turn into gasps for air, you leave him swollen, red and leaking, so close to his high that it being stolen so suddenly manages to get you a surprised whimper that turns into a funny cry in despair.

“Baby why?!” He demands an answer, his hand coming to take over for you again but you pin his hands down on the settee before he can and you chuckle at him.

“Thought you liked edging.” You tease him as an answer, and it works when his eyes open wide to glare down at you.

“I like edging you.” Your boyfriend corrects, entirely unamused by your actions.

Any other complaint dies in his throat when you push yourself up from your knees to stand in front of him and lean down over him to whisper into his ear, “And I like hearing you all pathetic, begging for me to touch you.”

Something inside Matty flips when you say that, perhaps it’s the surprise mixed with the dizzying after effect of his stolen orgasm, but he’s so willing to just let you have your way with him tonight.

He wants to see more of you like this. The prospect of you being in complete control drives him mad, that’s why he cooperates instantly when you add, “And we’re going to go to your room now to continue.”

Without even a kiss to pacify him, you push yourself back to stand properly and without a look back at him, you walk away and up to his bedroom. You’re biting your lip trying to hold your smirk and laugh when you hear him seething and scrambling to get up somewhere behind you.

When you get to his room, you find it just how you both left it. The duvet is not quite neat but it's not the messiest you’ve both left it, but before you even make it to the bed, you feel arms go around you and messy kisses being left on your shoulder, leading up to your neck.

You let him have his fun for a minute, even letting his hand run down to the bottom of your skirt and when his fingers trail up the inside of your thigh you let him start teasing your clit through your already soaked underwear. Matty gets you all breathless for him, teasing you exactly where you’re throbbing for him until your head falls back onto his shoulder, giving him more skin for him to kiss.

You almost lose yourself, succumbing to the pleasure he’s instilling in you. But when he mumbles, “So wet for me baby.” you push his hand away from you.

Turning around to him, you can see the lust clear as day in those dark eyes, especially when his eyes fall to your chest. It makes you smirk again, and you make him take your clothes off. But when he steps closer, his lips connecting to your collarbone as he goes to undo your skirt, you stop his lips from touching you. You give him a silent instruction not to touch you as he takes your clothes off, and you can see it pains him to be denied the luxury.

His hands reach for the zip on your skirt first, and that falls to the floor within seconds. He looks like a man starved as he takes you in, but you turn around so he can get the clasps that are holding your corset together.

You almost laugh at how impatient he is when it doesn’t come off easily and he has to pull it together part by part as more come undone and you’re sure he’s never been happier to throw a piece of material across a room. And once he has you in just your thong, he moves to stand in front of you, eyes fixed to your body as he pulls the last of your clothing off.

You don’t let him gawk at your naked figure for too long, bossing him around has you feeling impatient and his reactions are only travelling down south to get you wetter. Your hands are on his shoulders then and you push him back so he sits at the edge of the bed. And you know it is cruel when you go down to your knees and look up at him through your lashes evidently hinting at what your next move will be but there’s no intention within you to actually let him cum this time either.

Matty gasps in slight relief when your hand wraps around him again, your finger coming up to his leaking tip to smear down his arousal and you pump him. Once, twice, three times until he whimpers and lifts his hips up to help you give him pleasure.

But as soon as you’re there, you’re gone. Hand coming to press on his thigh but he doesn’t have time to complain when, instead, you lean in and run your tongue flat up his cock from base to tip. There’s not even a chance for him to prepare himself when you just sink your mouth into him completely. You moan when he hits the back of your throat and still there, fingers clutching harshly on his thigh when you try not to gag.

Your poor boyfriend set his expectations too high after that, because he fully thinks you’ll finally let him coat your throat as he cums but you won’t and he realises that when you pull off him and you lean back onto your heels with a smirk.

“Why- Baby, please.” His hips writhe on the bed, his cock so hard its moves as he does and his muscles contract in frustration.

You raise an eyebrow at him and ask, “What? You liked that?” as if you didn’t feel him twitch in your mouth when you did so.

And you become so much more amused when his reaction is an effervescent nod, a heavy breath slipping past his parted lips and pupils dilating even more through half lidded eyes.

Your mind is purely focused on teasing him so you go again, letting him hit the back of your throat once again and this time you look up at him, bobbing your head once and rolling your eyes in pleasure as you moan around him.

Under your hand, you can feel his leg shaking slightly and by the way he throws his head back, you know he’s so close to coming undone so you let him have it one last time. One more bob of your head and you’re off him, rising to your feet and just staring down at him as he pathetically cries out in frustration.

“Y/N why?!” He calls out with his eyes closed, a deep sigh coming from him. He’d been so close, with the way your throat clenched around him when you moaned, the wetness of your mouth enveloping him and making him delirious.

Matty can’t do it anymore, so he brings his hand to wrap around himself and finish what you didn’t but your hold comes quickly around his wrist and forces him to let go because you’re not allowing him to.

“No.” You say easily, satisfied entirely when he huffs again but listens. “You’re such a cry baby, aren’t you?” Your hand cups his jaw, making him look up at you and he does with a glare that excites you because all it says is that you’re in trouble. But this time you’re in charge so you give him a pout and offer, “Do you want me?”

There’s not a split of a second where he doubts, Matty is just instantly nodding but when your fingers dig on his face, he lets out a breathless, “Yes.”

Your tongue runs over your bottom lip as a smirk grows on your face. “Good boy,” you praise with a wink and then you lean into him, until your lips are just hovering over his and finish your demands, “If you want me, then you’ll make me cum first.”

His head is spinning from the whiplash of your behaviour still, so he has a hard time trying to figure out what is it that you want him to do but when you continue to run that filthy mouth of yours, he gathers what’s on your mind.

“You love to have that tongue of yours out all the time, don’t you? Why don’t you put it to good use and make me cum all over it.”

There’s no further instruction needed, Matty just shuffles himself up the bed until his head is resting on the pillow and he’s staring at you, impatiently waiting for you to move on top of him.

“Looking a little impatient there.” His hands are unable to stay still, they struggle to find a place to rest when he’s watching you slowly kneel on the bed and crawl up to him. When you reach just beside him, you make a show of straddling him and purposely let your slick, wet cunt graze the tip of his hard cock.

Anticipating his actions, you move forward and leave him more frustrated when he pushes his hips upwards to properly feel your wetness on him. You laugh, your knees coming right beside his shoulders and not calling him out when his hands come to clutch at your thighs.

He takes a look at you and he squirms underneath you when he catches a glimpse of how drenched you are, his throat going dry at the thought of your taste. It’s written all over his face, and it makes you want to laugh even louder.

Your right hand brushes his curls back, some of them stubbornly striking to his forehead from how he’s sweating, and the feeling of your fingers is delicate compared to your continuous attempt to make him suffer but it turns when your fingers tangle in his curls and you pull harshly on his hair. He groans loudly, hips bucking up once again, and you just can’t not call him out for it.

“Eager little slut.” Is what you say before letting yourself come down and his gasp leaves him at the perfect time for he has his lips parted instantly to allow his tongue to meet your core.

The wetness of his tongue meeting your throbbing clit has you seeing stars, and when he flicks it up and down at a relentless pace, you have to hold onto the headboard with the hand that’s not tangled in his hair.

“F-fuck!” You moan out loud when he switches to wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking it harshly, your legs trembling in pleasure as that familiar heat envelopes you completely.

The vibrations of a hum he lets out as he’s still sucking make your head hang to look down at him and you smirk with a hazy mind when you find him already staring up at you. He lets your clit go and kisses it quickly before flattening his tongue again and starts lapping at you, until he points it out and pokes into you with it.

You’re mewling as he continues doing that, jaw dropped and fingers in his hair making sure to keep him right there. Not that he wants to move, no. Matty wants you to cum all over his tongue, your taste making him get impossibly harder and if he thinks too much about how it would feel to have you clenching around his cock and not his tongue, he could cum right then and there.

As his tongue fucks into you, his nose rubs on your clit deliciously causing your hips come alive and start rocking against his face. Your orgasm fastly growing and you feel that knot tightening more the faster he goes and you love the feeling of how strongly his fingers are digging into your arse and thigh.

“So good for me.” Your hips are moving erratically as the friction becomes dizzying, your words slipping past your lips easily driven by pleasure, “A good whore for me, my whore.”

Those words make him go insane, and he only thinks he has to prove to you that he indeed is your good whore, only for you. So he goes back to lapping all over you to take in all that you’re giving him until your arousal and his saliva is dripping down his chin, and then switches between sucking and flicking your clit.

This time though, he surprises you when he takes one of his hands and dips two fingers easily inside you, making you curse out loud, “Oh fuck! Matty!” when his fingers curl and press on that spot you love so much.

When he adds a third finger, you’re done for. The stretch is already making you think of how much you want to feel all of him inside you and in pure desperation for that to happen, you let yourself go.

You throw your head back and shut your eyes when a loud moan rips through you as you cum all over him. Legs shaking beside his head when he doesn't let on until you’re the one to move away from his mouth and forcing his fingers to leave you.

On wobbly knees, you let go of the headboard and his hair and manage to move down until you hover over his chest. But before you can think of what you’re doing next, you bring up his slick coated fingers up to your mouth.

A loud moan bounces off the walls when you wrap your lips around his fingers and you taste yourself. You bob your head up and down sucking them clean with your lustful eyes on him, you can barely see the brown of his eyes anymore from how blown his pupils are.

Matty should’ve anticipated your next move, mischief clear in your eyes when you let go of his digits and lean into him, and with your right hand you harshly cup his jaw enough for him to know that you're silently prompting him to open up.

He lets his tongue out, anticipation running straight down to his dick a heavy breath hitting your lips before you spit in his mouth and instruct him to, “Swallow.”

Without a hint of doubt, he follows and you smirk down at him, very pleased at his lack of backchat or complaint. You let him know just how much you’re enjoying this by praising him with a, “Good fucking slut.”

There’s a sparkle in his eye, one that invites you to have some mercy on him so lacing your word with a bit of honey, you sweetly ask him, “You like making me feel good Matty?” still breathless and mind clouded from your orgasm. But moving back down his body you can tell just how much he’s struggling now.

He desperately nods at you, “Love it baby.” and you can’t help but lean down and kiss him. You moan, tasting yourself on his tongue and Matty groans against your lips when you let yourself straddle him properly again.

He can feel how wet you are from what he’d just done to you and you start grinding yourself against him, running yourself up and down the underneath of his cock. You part from the kiss by biting and tugging hard on his lip, and both of your actions make him loudly moan.

But your words definitely have him audibly groaning when you ask him, “Want me to make the ache in your cock go away?” You let your nose brush against his in an eskimo kiss before softly asking him, “Wanna cum inside me baby?”

“Yeah.” He pleads, his hands grasping your hips encouraging you to keep moving, because he can’t take getting nothing anymore.

But you don’t let him continue moving you, instead you stop and pull back a little to ask, “Yes what?”

“Please, baby,” Sounding utterly destroyed he begs, “Please make me cum.”

Smirking, you tilt your head to the side enjoying seeing him so desperate and ask, “You think you’ve been good enough?”

“Please Y/N,” Your boyfriend almost cries, “I have, I have, please.”

“Sit up.” You instruct, pushing yourself up with a hand on his chest and only when his chest once again meets yours, do you raise yourself up to line his aching cock up with your throbbing cunt.

You’re sure Matty’s hands have never gripped you so tightly as you sink down on him, welcoming that pleasurable stretch of feeling his cock inside you again. It feels like an age since he’d been inside you, it doesn’t feel like it had only been 5 days.

Your boyfriend is considerably louder as he moans at the feeling of you wrapped around him. Just to tease, as if you didn’t moan yourself, you praise him, “You make the prettiest sounds moaning in my ear baby.” and you kiss up from his collarbone to his jaw and then a long searing kiss on his lips when you start gently rolling your hips.

Your arms wrap around his shoulders, giving you the support you need to start fucking him properly. Lifting your hips enough to drop back down on his cock and the feeling is delightful for both you and him.

Your tits bounce as you go, pebbled nipples rubbing against his chest and the feeling brings shocks of electricity to every end of your body. Your knees start to get tired, already weak after you came on his face, so you sink down completely on him and switch to rolling your hips on him.

Matty watches you intently as your face scrunches up in pleasure when you start moving that way, your clit rubs against his skin with every roll of your hips which leaves you breathless and a moaning mess.

He can feel you clenching hard around him every time he hits that spot as you move which, added to the coincidental friction on your clit, makes the furrow of his brows become deeper as he wills himself to not cum yet - he finds purchase on holding tight onto your hips just to ground himself.

“No one makes you feel this good, do they baby?” You ask through half closed eyes, the feeling of utter bliss coursing through you as you carry on moving, “I’m the only one who makes you feel this fucking good.”

Your movements are erratic now, getting lost in the motion of him hitting that spot inside you over and over and the way he’s gripping you like you might disappear. There’s no doubt in your mind that there will be bruises on your hips from the way his fingers are digging into you so tightly, and you fucking love the possessive nature to it, even though it’s still you in control.

“Just you, god just you baby.” Matty admits, his eyes closed as he tries the hardest to grasp onto the last bit of restraint he has, “Y/N please.”

“You wanna cum Matty?” You ask, and he nods and pleads pathetically, mumbling things you can’t even make out so you tell him, “Beg for it.”

“Please, baby please.” He gives in without a second thought, “Need you. You feel so good. I can’t-” He chokes out, trying his best to wait for your command, but he’s so on edge that he can’t even manage to look at you for more than a second, his head hanging as he tries to hold on.

Your hand comes to cup his jaw, guiding him so you can see him properly, “Let me see those cute little faces you make.” And just to make it a bit harder for him, you’re bouncing on his cock again.

Using your pelvic floor, you clench purposefully when you rise up off him which has Matty choking on the hot air between you. You smirk, loving seeing him like this and you continue, until you tell he can’t take it anymore, he’s holding off and you know it.

So you finally give in and tell him, “Cum for me Matty.” and you keep a steady pace and watch as he falls apart beneath you. The long, guttural moan that leaves his lips has your jaw dropping, the noise alone turning you on more than you thought was possible.

You ride out his orgasm while continuing to chase yours and it takes just a bit of attention on your clit for you to cum around him. He whimpers when your cunt flutters around him, overly sensitive after the elongated edging.

“Did so good for me baby.” You grin with hazy eyes, breathless as you come down from your high, and you cup his jaw and softly kiss him.

He kisses you back sweetly, and he prolongs it not wanting it to be over at all. His heart feels like twice its size in his chest, he wonders how he aches for you even when you’re right there in his arms, kissing him.

It seems like time slows for the kiss, but even then Matty doesn’t think it’s long enough. You’re both grinning like drunk fools in love when your noses brush over each other’s in a cute eskimo kiss before you both decide that a shower is needed.

Under the warm water, both of you don’t really let each other go. Mumbles of, “Obsessed with you.” are uttered against the others skin and it makes Matty’s heartache.

How he’s managed to get you to agree to be his girlfriend is something beyond his comprehension. Your presence in his life has changed so many of his desires in a matter of a few months, and that is still a big revelation that he continues to uncover as the days go by. Matty realises that he’s never felt this way about anyone before. No one compares to you, and he’s sure no one ever will.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: HOPE BOTH HANDS REMAINED FIRMLY ON YOUR PHONES READING THIS CHAPTER! 😂😂😂😂😂 Lolllllllllllll 💀 Yeah I think me and @-alovesreading​ should probably repent again for writing this lmfao. Really hope you enjoyed it! Tour comes next and its going to be interestingggggggg, what do you think is going to happen? Thanks again for reading, see you for the next one xx

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[bloodisonurtongue]

BABY / MATTY HEALY X READER

a/n: these photos make a giggle I won’t lie, anyways this was cute to write even tho it’s rlly shit. I love stories where they find out they’re having a baby I think they’re so cute. I’d like to do a part where they tell the guys as well

this was slightly proofread but I got lazy at the end as well 😔 ALSO FIRST (posted) STORY WOO

c/w: vomiting, pregnancy, pregnancy tests, brief mentions of sex??

Y/N hadn't felt quite right all day, for the last week actually. She chalked it up to eating too much food, pushing her limits and not getting enough rest or hydration as well. But when she woke up in the middle of the night, she knew it was something more than indigestion. She rushed herself to the bathroom and barely made it before she was down on her hands and knees, heaving uncontrollably into the toilet.

When she was finished, she felt thoroughly exhausted. She sat back against the bathroom wall and closed her eyes. she heard the soft rustle of her bed sheets and sighed knowing she had woken Matty up.

she heard the whisper of his voice as he walked towards their shared bathroom “darling are you okay?” she could hear the concern and tiredness as he spoke, she felt bad for waking him up, knowing he needed the sleep considering this was one of the very few days he had off tour.

y/n looked at the door as he walked in, way to exhausted from throwing up to answer him at the moment, she just looked at him and groaned

Matty walked over to her and sat next to her on the cold bathroom tiles as he wrapped her in his arms, y/n dug her face into his chest and let out a soft cry. Matty had asked her how she felt, after she explained her symptoms to him, he began to suspect the same thing she had been afraid to think of. he gently grabbed her chin, making her look at him before he asked softly “do you think you could be pregnant darlin” she looked as if she was about to cry, what if she was pregnant? would he happy? she knows she would be even if it was unplanned. would the guys be happy? what if they all felt like she’d be interrupting their tour by having a baby?

matty could practically hear her overthinking in her head, so trying to knock her out of her thoughts he spoke again “darling, it’s okay” he gently rubbed her back before asking “Do you want me to get a pregnancy test?”

Y/N, too tired to speak, simply nodded. Matty gave her a squeeze and kissed her on the crown of her head “do you wanna go lay in bed for a bit or do you wanna sit here?” y/n slowly shook her head before saying she wanted to be back in bed

matty slowly helped her up and got her back into bed, covering her with the blankets and making sure she was comfortable before giving her a soft kiss on the lips and again on the crown of her head before telling her he’d be back in 10 minutes.

not even 10 minutes later, y/n heard the front door open and gently shut before hearing footsteps coming up the stairs, she was tired but was far too scared to take the pregnancy test she knew matty was about to give her to fall asleep in the few minutes he was gone.

the bedroom door opened and closed again quickly, her eyes were still shut as she felt mattys hand on her side, rubbing softly “are you awake darling?” he said, adoration dripping from his voice as he looked at y/n who looked all too peaceful laying comfortably on their bed, he knew she was scared of taking the test, but they needed to know the answer to what they were thinking.

slowly opening her eyes y/n looked up at matty, eyes still half closed, she watched as his smile grew even bigger as her eyes opened “do you wanna take it now baby? we can wait a bit if you’d like” matty softly whispered, reaching up slightly to tuck the loose hair hanging in her face behind her ears.

y/n sighed “I think it’s better we do it now so we know” she spoke softly as she closed her eyes again before opening them again. Matty gently took her hand to help her get out of bed before they headed to their bathroom.

Matty took the box out of the bag he had in his hand, opening the box and taking out the test and the instructions before sliding them onto the counter in-front of y/n. he gently placed a hand on her back before rubbing it gently as she quickly read all the instructions “do you want me to go outside while you do it darling?” he softly questioned her, not wanting to make her feel like she had to have him in the room with her as she did the test.

she looked at him, he could practically see the nerves in her eyes “yeah just while I pee on it, you can come in right after” she said, voice wavering as she spoke. Matty nodded and smiled softly at her before giving her a kiss on the head “I’ll be just outside” she nodded back at him and watched slightly as he walked out, closing the door softly.

she used the test, and placed it back onto the counter, face down, so her and matty couldn’t see when the results were shown, she thought that he wanted to share the moment together. she opened the door for matty to come in before looking at herself in the mirror, feeling her eyes sting slightly as tears began to form on her lower lash line.

Matty gently wrapped his arms around her waist before settling his head on her shoulder, and whispering softly into her ear that everything would be okay.

she sniffled a few times before she spoke “what if I am pregnant matty, what are we gonna do?” she looked down at the tiled floor as tears started to fall gently, a few of them falling onto mattys arms around her waist.

matty kissed her head gently “if you are pregnant, it’s gunna be okay darling, I’m going to be here for every step of the way no matter what and so will the guys. we’ll do whatever you want to do. if you wanna keep it we’ll keep it and if you don’t you dont need to feel like you have too okay baby?” He softly whispered to her, leaning his chin on her shoulder again and leaving a few kisses there.

y/n slowly turned around in mattys hold, looking up at him making eye contact, a few tears continue to slowly go down her cheeks as she speaks “if I am pregnant, even if now isn’t a good time to have a baby, I want to keep it” her voice breaking a bit as she brings her hands up to cup mattys face gently.

she swears she’s never seen matty smile bigger then he is now as he leans down to catch her lips in a loving but intimate kiss before matty slowly moved his hands down and picked her up before placing her on the bathroom counter, continuing with the kiss until they eventually ran out of breath and had to pull away from each other

once their breathing got back to normal they both smiled brightly at each other before remembering the test next to them, and that they should check it now.

“you know the test is probably done by now” y/n chuckled at him as she placed a quick kiss to his lips again “let’s look then shall we?” he said smiling even wider at her as she quickly got down off of the counter and stood infront of where the pregnancy test lied. Matty placed his hand on the back of hers so they could pick up the test together as he stood behind her, giving her a peck on the shoulder before asking her if she was ready to look at it.

y/n nodded slowly, the nerves from before coming back again, she was about to find out if she was pregnant, she was terrified but elated to find out. She looked back at matty for confirmation to pick up the test, he nodded immediately and she could see the tears slightly welling up in his eyes, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before he slightly wrapped his hand around hers, her fingers began to shakily pick up the test turning it around

two red lines.

she was pregnant.

y/n felt a happy sob about to come out of her mouth. feeling mattys tears continuously fall and lightly land on her shoulder, a few rolling down and going down her shirt. She quickly turned around and looked at his face as tears began to flow out of her eyes too “matty baby we’re gunna be having a baby” she laughs lightly as she puts the test down again before reaching up and running her fingers through his hair as he leaned forward to place his head on her chest.

He muttered into her skin, she could barely hear what he was saying but somehow made it out “we’re having a baby, a fucking baby can you believe that?” He quickly picked his head off of her chest, looking at her with wide eyes “there’s a baby in you, a mini me or you, in you.” his mouth dropped in shock “I put a baby in you, oh my god” y/n let out a laugh at his antics “yes you did darling”

later that night as y/n slowly drifted to sleep, she could feel matty rubbing her stomach softly, and speaking to it as if the small baby growing inside her could hear him yet “I’m gunna spoil you so much, more then I already spoil your mommy. I already love you so much, you’re gunna have so much fun with all your aunts and uncles, and we’re gunna be one big happy family.”

In that moment, Y/N knew that she was truly happy. Matty made her feel safe, secure, and loved - and she was exactly where she belonged.

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