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#matty healy
12triceratops · 2 days
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Where the rubber meets the road.
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These two didn't just have a relationship, they had a (soul)utionship. "The Prophecy" Hand on the throttle Thought I caught lightning in a bottle...
What these two had was magical. There is no debate that Karlie Kloss and Taylor Swift were electric: (I am using past tense for the moment, I will refer to them in present tense a bit later in the post)
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Fast forward a decade later to Fortnight. This record did not hit me immediately the way "Folklore" and "Evermore" did, It has almost been a week since its release and I hadn't been fully onboard with TTPD. I was expecting something different, something not familiar and I had quite literally thought maybe Jack Antinoff and Taylor Swift had reached their limit together as collaborators. The music produced by Aaron Dressner had flavors and connections to "Folklore" and "Evermore," while parts of the album was reminiscent of "1989." My next thought that maybe the three of them had done all they could do.
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And then the Matty Healy conversation exploded across the net (le sigh), and I just about gave up on the record.
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I damn near had a sanguinary struggle within myself over The Tortured Poets Department (I know, that is very dramatic lol), and then I finally got it. The brilliance of this woman is unmatched.
The last song "The Manuscript." Now and then she rereads the manuscript Of the entire torrid affair
"The entire torrid affair" meaning the last decade (probably longer, but I am sticking with 2014-2024). The title isn't lost on me and many others - The Man-U-Script.
The last segment of the song
The only thing that's left is the manuscript One last souvenir from my trip to your shores Now and then I reread the manuscript But the story isn't mine anymore
She is closing the chapter on all of it. It's over, the countless theories, the stories we all have created about her. They're our stories now, we built them into a formidable, monstrous entity that took on a life of its own. "The last souvenir" are her words to us on this album. From the Swifities, to the Gaylors/Kaylors, to the haters, critics, industry, fans, media. She won't play this game anymore. Taylor gave enough clues on this album to make EVERYONE'S theory plausible (Karlie, Joe, Matty, Travis, Harry, Kim etc). She connected threads to come full circle, which brings us back to "1989," that 1980s syth-pop (hello! "I Can Do It With A Broken Heart"). This is why she and Jack Antonoff brought us back to where it all began, Karlie Kloss and #Kissgate (Dianna Agron, too, who can forget "Wonderland). Aaron Dressner summons moments within this records of the two albums that fractured my soul, F & E. That folky-pop melody that gets into your skin to change the DNA. No joke, I sobbed listening to "Folklore" and "Evermore."
With TTPD, Taylor comes in like a thrashing, tumultuous storm; at times seething and others admonishing. She is singing to herself, for herself and without need of approval from the mainstream radio (or anyone else). TTPD is messy, too much, not enough, vulnerable, real, relatable and she is tired of our collective shit.
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Back to "The Manuscript" This Era has come to an end and she is leaving us with the ruins, the aftermath of what she went through: being forced to hide who she really is, having to placate the rabid fans who believe the stories of every boy she has ever dated. She has had zero privacy and the only safe place Taylor has ever had was her music, she is the ONLY one who knows to whom she sings. Does she love her fans, of course, but Mother is tired and done. She is ready to come clean and live the life she has crafted to keep in secret in order to protect the innocent.
The beards, NDAs, slight of hand, she is smashing all that we know. It's not her reflection she seeks to shatter, it's the illusions. In "Fortnight" the nurse, a woman (cannot convince me that it's not Karlie. A doorframe is 6'8" and that nurse is about 5" shorter that frame, which would make that person 6'3" :), comes to save her, gives her the key to set her free. The men in the video are the ones who are torturing her. Like the last 10 years, The poet has been tortured by the department of men: Joe, John, Conner, Jake, Harry, Calvin, Tom, Joe, Matty, Travis, Scooter, Scott, and the list goes on.
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It's "Robin" that has got a choke-hold on me.
Buried down deep And out of your reach The secret we all vowed To keep it from you in sweetness
She is singing to a child, a kid, and I am going to say a little boy. Is this song about Levi? I am going to say yes. Hands down the gem of the album, and our cue to realize she is telling us what is next, her family, the loves of her life: Karlie and the kids. That is what she wants and that will be her next chapter. We struggle to interpret the Taylor that is always ten steps ahead of us. Her Eras Tour, this will be the last one for a while. Once it has wrapped, I wouldn't be surprised if she disappeared for a spell. Will she produce more work, sure. Perform, probably, but this last decade has taken a toll, and this tour has been a herculean effort. Hence, its wild success. Could she retire (FLORIDA)? It's possible, but she would never tell us, we would have to figure that out for ourselves.
I have more to say, but it's late and I am sleepy. As I get lost in the piano of "The Manuscript" I am reminded of the book "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo"
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Not sure if anyone is going to see or read this, but I needed a place to write my thoughts about this extraordinary album that I almost let slip through my fingers. Good night and sleep well everyone <3
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pov: you play spin the bottle
nothing crazy. just friends kissing each other.
warning: 18+, weed, boys kissing, mentions of sex. follows no timeline.
masterlist here.
that evening, you found yourself at matty's flat with the boys and some other people you didn't quite know but had definitely seen before. perhaps at previous gatherings held by george or matty. who knows. they all just wanted to get high, so that's exactly what you did.
the thing is, you hadn't smoked much prior to that night. yes, you enjoyed cigarettes (after all, you spent many hours with the lot of them) but didn't have much experience with weed. yet, you didn't want to be left alone so you agreed to go along for the ride and suffer its consequences, good or bad.
ross offered you a drag and you took it. you inhaled deeply, letting the smoke fill your lungs and cloud your mind. apparently you held it in for too long that you started having a coughing fit, a very stoned ross staring while trying not to chuckle. "are you alright?" he said. "yes" cough "yes" cough. eventually you went back to normal, catching your breath, slowly feeling the effects of the drug in your body. you almost forgot how nice it felt and wondered why you didn't do it more often.
the last time was with george, back when you were a "thing", if you could even call it that. it was a rainy night and you both sat by the open window of his bedroom, sharing a joint. you were apprehensive at first but it had been a stressful day of work, so you needed to take the edge off. the weed definitely helped, but it might've also been the sex that followed. george had been especially eager to make you moan as loud as you possibly could. you could almost feel his hands tightly grip your hips at the memory of it when suddenly someone called your name and broke your trance.
speak of the devil.
george's face came into focus and started dragging you by the arm, "c'mon, we're going to play spin the bottle." he turned around to look at you, a smirk forming on his lips as he pulled you to the circle the others had formed. you thought this game was only played by horny 14 year olds, but what the hell. what's the worst that could happen, right?
you dropped down to the floor, crossing your legs and sitting between adam and george. looking around, you noticed that everyone was on some level of a high. ross was chattier and more confident than usual, which you enjoyed as you've grown to like him quite a bit. he was always a sweet one. adam looked like he was about to fall asleep, but kept reassuring everyone that he was wide awake. sure. being high looked good on george and he knew it. the fucker was just so effortlessly cool, running his hand through his hair, joint between his fingers. you had to look away, it was just too much for you to handle at the moment. then there was matty, who couldn't stop giggling at something the girl besides him was saying. you noticed the same girl put her hand on his arm and it make you feel a strange sensation. you weren't sure why, though.
a loud clap echoed in the room. "alright, everyone, here we go. i'll be the brave one and start." george announced while he spun the empty bottle of wine on the floor. you watched as the bottle slowed down, lifting your head to take notice of the lucky chosen person, none other than ross macdonald. he shot george a look, let out a big sigh, then laughed when it finally hit him what he had to do. "fine!" he conceded, getting up and stumbling over to plant a kiss right on george's lips. he immediately cupped ross's face, returning the kiss with a satisfying smack, leaving you pretty certain they'd done this before. there were cheers and some claps, making george feel smug and ross blushing as he settled back down.
next up was matty. he spun the bottle in one swift movement, landing on... ross. "looks like luck's on your side today, macdonald." the taller boy rolled his eyes, took a quick drag of his joint, and rose up to walk towards matty. he knelt before his friend, and this time it was ross who gently cupped the curly boy's face, pulling him close until their lips met. you could tell that gesture made matty excited as his hands tangled in soft brown hair. there was no question that tongues were involved, and only breaking apart once ross pushed matty away, cheeks flushed as he headed back to his seat.
the game continued and to your dismay, george ended up kissing and feeling up the very pretty girl who sat next to matty. adam had to kiss ross (surprise), but this one was just a quick peck on the lips. then it was your turn.
"let's see who gets the pleasure of kissing her. i can assure you won't be disappointed," george joked and you stuck up two fingers right in front of his face. "it won't be you, if that's what you're hoping." you smirked and grabbed the bottle.
it wasn't until you had it in your hand that you realized how high you were, immediately making you nervous of fucking up the kiss. such a childish concern, but you couldn't help it in you state. you put the bottle on the floor, giving it a hasty spin and silently praying it wouldn't point to george. it wouldn't be the worst as you'd know what to expect but you didn't want to give him the satisfaction, especially not in front of others.
it felt like the bottle took ages to slow down and once it stopped, your ears started ringing, drowning everyone's cheers as you realized matty had to kiss you.
you slowly sat back down on your heels, tugging at the hem of your skirt and feeling your cheeks turn bright red. it wasn't until you lifted your gaze that you noticed matty had stood up and was walking in your direction, stopping to kneel right in front of you.
he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and looked at you as if asking for permission to continue. you mindlessly bit your bottom lip and he took this as a his cue, leaning forward, pressing his mouth to yours.
maybe it was the weed or the adrenaline or both, but you were certain time stopped at that moment, which allowed you to melt on his lips. he tasted like honey and it was intoxicating. to your surprise, you kissed back eagerly, grabbing at the collar of his white shirt, bringing him closer to you.
again, it was probably the drugs, but you thought you heard him quietly moan when your thumb lightly touched the side of his neck.
you didn't want it to end, but you had to pull away as you had no idea how much time had passed. opening your eyes, you found matty's soft gaze fixed on yours. you smiled at each other and laughed nervously, yet no awkwardness was felt between the both of you.
suddenly you realized you still had a tight grip on his collar. "oh, um, sorry." you let go, trying to tidy down his now wrinkled shirt. "no worries," he murmured quietly, planting a quick peck on your cheek followed by another on your lips.
matty got up to go back to his spot, but not before he told george that he was right, you were indeed an excellent kisser. the tall boy just glared at matty and decided that the game was over because it was getting boring. you couldn't help but burst out laughing, prompting george to storm out of the room. oops.
"what's gotten into him now?" the blissfully oblivious, high adam asked. "i reckon matthew might have just kissed the girl he fancies," ross mentioned while getting up to fetch another joint. adam looked at you. oooh.
you chuckled and stood up, glancing over your shoulder to find deep caramel eyes gazing longingly in your direction once more.
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IF I BELIEVE YOU STANS THIS ONE’S FOR YOU!!
📸: selllingpetrol
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abiiors · 3 days
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i need to put him in my pocket and protect him from everything 😭😭🤍🤍🤍
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Cigarettes & Wine | M. Healy | 2
'I think I'll put you in another song, a little glimpse of you before you're gone.'
In which Sadie and Matty can't seem to get along at all. They refuse to see eye-to-eye, but Sadie is starting to find Matty's annoyed face a bit too hot. When faced with conversations about feelings, Sadie can't help but want to run away from it all.
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warnings: implied alcoholism, implied panic attack (not in a written scene), smut (unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), fingering), lots of arguing, they both just spew shite at each other <3.
word count: 6.7k
authors note: lalalalala sadie matty smut lalalalala. so what it's angry (lowkey heartbreaking) smut, its still smut. i rlly had fun writing this and i am sorry for the angst <3 (not rlly x)
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Sadie doesn’t think she’s ever felt anger like she’s feeling right now. The band had just gotten back to their flat after one of their more hectic shows, and George had obviously had the smart idea to go out after said show. Sadie missed out on this night out, feeling like her body was about to collapse inwards, but when the band returned home, loudly, she woke up and immediately seethed. Her anger worsened when she fully woke, she knew what was going on in Matty’s room due to them sharing a wall. Cheap flat means paper thin walls. As each day passes the urge to ask George to switch rooms with her grows.
The pornographic moans and groans paired with the bedframe that is just about banging her bedroom wall down is enough to make Sadie roll out of bed and leave her room with a huff. She almost regrets it when she sees Ross and George basically rolling on the kitchen floor trying to put a frozen pizza in the oven, Adam was standing over the pair just laughing at them. Sadie smirks but then when she hears another bang of Matty’s bedframe come from behind her she mutters a string of angry swear words under her breath. “What does she look like this time?” Is the sentence Sadie uses to make her presence known to the three drunk men in the kitchen.
The boys all look up at her with grimaces on their faces which makes Sadie run a hand down her own, she knows they all want to say “You.” Which makes her reconsider her entire career. She is subjecting herself to something comparable to torture day in, day out. Ever since Sadie had started point blank refusing him sex he was acting crazy, actively seeking out girls who have something in common with her looks wise. She had only started closing herself off because the band was starting to gain traction and she didn’t want anything to end in a messy enough manner for them both to risk their careers. It seemed like a lost cause with the way they were both acting though.
“It’s okay though, we’re having a pizza party.” Ross had somehow manoeuvred from the floor to Sadie’s side, leaning his entire body weight on her. She grunted and moved so the pair of them were leaning on the counter, she looked in his eyes at his extremely slurred words and wondered how he could be this drunk after only being out for two and a half hours. She shook her head with a smirk and snatched the pizza from George, forgetting how much of his weight that Ross was putting on her until he keeled over onto the floor with a giggle.
“Oh my god, Ross.” George pretty much collapses on top of Ross in a fit of drunken giggles and Sadie busies herself with setting the timer on the oven. When she turns around, Adam is stood with his arms open, and she smiles up at him and accepts his invitation for a cuddle. He starts swaying the pair and she can’t help but breathe out a laugh at the song he’s attempting to sing, Sadie has no idea what song he’s actually trying to sing. She tries to pull away when he starts swaying a bit too hard but before she knows it the four of them are on the floor struggling to breathe through their laughs.
When they all sit down on the couch to indulge in their pizza, Sadie hears a door open and close from the hallway. She can’t help the way her eyes roll into her skull, and she suddenly doesn’t want to finish her plate. The way he gets a glass of water, silently, pisses her off beyond belief. He grabs a slice of their pizza and heads back to his room with the water, he notices the silence when he walks in, but he chooses to not make a petty comment. When his bedroom door practically slams shut, Sadie lets out a breath she didn’t know she was even holding in. “George, can I sleep in your room?” He nods with a mouthful of pizza and Sadie heads to her room to grab her water bottle.
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Sadie can’t sleep for George’s excessive snoring, he always fucking snores when he’s drunk. She gets up to fill her already empty water bottle with a sigh, a chill comes over her body when she opens the bedroom door, she immediately connects the dots when she sees Matty hanging out the living room window, cig in hand. She sighs and turns her back on him, flipping the tap to cold and turning it on, she hears him clearing his throat behind her and has to stifle the groan trying to escape her lips. “Bored of your girlfriend in there?”
Matty’s chuckle tastes bitter on his tongue, he despises her immaturity sometimes. When he doesn’t reply, she turns to him and when he gestures her over with his head she sighs, she can’t say no to him, and she loathes it. Sitting down next to him she takes his offer of a cigarette, he also forces the glass of wine he’s cradling into her hand, which she happily downs. He looks at her, she looks out the window. “Can’t sleep?”
“George won’t stop fucking snoring.” Matty smiles at that and hands her his lighter. She hands it back and inhales deeply when her cigarette is lit. The silence between them is the calmest silence they’ve sat in for at least three months, anytime the two have been forced in a room alone the tension has been so palpable you could cut it with a knife. Probably due to the fact they’ve not had sex in three months either. She can’t help but study his face, she hasn’t properly taken him in for a while, she tends to avoid him whenever they aren’t shouting at each other’s faces. He looks exhausted, the way his eyes are heavy set into his face and his mouth is nearly permanently in a frown are the telltale signs, this makes her frown. She leans onto his shoulder and lowers her voice to a whisper, “I’m sorry.”
“What? What for?” She shrugs and he wraps an arm around her shoulders, an attempt to protect her from the cold breeze wafting in through the open window. Hesitating slightly, he leans his head against hers, his lips meeting her messy hair before he does so. She sighs and shuffles a bit closer, having sat at a decent distance from him originally. “Nothing to be sorry for, Sades. I’m sorry.”
“Well, what are you sorry for?”
“I’m not sure either.” At his lack of attempt to actually apologise, she hums, nothing has changed. This conversation isn’t progress.
“I should go back to bed.” Sadie feels Matty’s head shake on top of hers and she snickers slightly, raising her head to face him. Their faces are much closer than they were before which makes Sadie’s heart pick up in pace ever so slightly. She pretends that it doesn’t though. He tries to sneak a glance down at her slightly dry lips, but her eager eyes notice, and she instinctively leans in, she swears she does it without realising. Before she knows it his lips are on hers and every argument they’ve had recently has flown out of her head, replaced by the way his hand feels when it falls to her bare thigh, practically coaxing the goosebumps out of her. Matty pulls away first and Sadie shakes her head. “We can’t. Shouldn’t.”
Silencing her with another kiss, a squeeze on her thigh, and his tongue against her lips, Matty groans into her mouth, begging to be let in. She denies him entrance until his other hand tugs lightly at her hair, drawing involuntary moans from her mouth, gaining him entrance. Readjusting so he’s no longer sitting cross legged on the windowsill Matty drags Sadie by the hips on to his lap. She feels so dirty, Matty had gone from being inside the girl in his bedroom two hours ago to making out with Sadie in the living room, but a sick part of her likes knowing that he’ll always come back to her. The same sick part of her grinds down into Matty’s growing erection, revelling in the way his head thumps against the window behind him. “Fuck, Sades.”
“Did that girl not do it for you? She might look like me, but I bet she doesn’t fuck like me, hmm?” Her hands find the seam of her pyjama top, but she quickly feels him swatting her hands away, wanting to take her top off himself. Doing so with fervour, his lips ghosting her nipples, blowing hot air over them and giving her reaction a sick smile. When his mouth closes around her nipple, a low groan ripples through her throat, she feels the need to get his clothes off of him as soon as possible. “Matty, please.”
“You’re filth. Desperate to fuck me when I’ve got a girl waiting for me.” Matty’s words hit Sadie right in her core, writhing on his lap, desperate for friction. The thin material of Matty’s boxers paired with the lacey material of Sadie’s panties was sending her wild, the feeling against her heat is delicious but she’s growing bored of it. He lifts his hips in a frenzy to rid himself of one of two clothing items keeping them apart, at the rapid friction Sadie moans loudly and squeezes her eyes closed. Letting out a dry laugh, Matty shifts her on his lap, her eyes cast down to his length and her hand automatically wrapped around it, like it was muscle memory. “No, need to be inside you. Won’t last long.”
Sadie feels like her lungs are being squeezed with how breathless she is, frantically shuffling her panties down her legs. Takes himself in one hand, Matty lines himself up and grabs one of Sadie’s hands with the other, she squeezes it as he pushes into her, a whine scraping the inside of her throat before tearing out of her mouth. Matty lets go of her hand and sticks two of his fingers into her open mouth, hissing at her, “You’ve got to be quiet, Sades.”
Whining around his fingers, Sadie bucks her hips into his harshly, Matty lets out a sound akin to a growl. She stops and raises an eyebrow at him, brutally shoving two fingers in his mouth. Feeling his mouth forming into a smirk around her fingers at her smug face, he starts fucking up into her to break her mean demeanour. The way her eyes roll into her head spurs him on, his pace relentless, his tongue licking up and down her fingers to match the pace of his savage thrusts. An urge to hear the noises that Matty clearly wants to make takes over Sadie’s brain, so she rips her fingers out of his mouth and sticks it on his knee behind her, leaning back in his lap to feel him hit her deeper inside. “Can fucking feel you squeezing me, so tight, missed this.”
The fake pout takes over her face without her permission, “Really meant it when you said you wouldn’t last long. Pathetic, I’m not even close.” She’s playing it up and he knows it from the way she tenses her thighs and squeezes his knee until her knuckles turn white. But Matty takes her words as the truth, holding himself off from finishing inside her, picking her up and throwing her onto the couch. Moaning at the way he man-handled her, Sadie can feel the loss of him inside her like he’d just ripped her arm from her torso, her blissed out face was quickly replaced by a glare at the two fingers re-entering her mouth, scowling as his hips snapped back into hers. When he leans down to give her neck an open-mouthed kiss, she snaps around his fingers, into his ear. “Fuck you.”
“I am.” The words uttered into her pliable skin make her arch her back into him. She hates the way he knows her body like he worships upon it everyday on the hour, almost as though he had studied her every atom under a microscope in a lab. Lifting one of her legs over his shoulder, she whimpers at the deeper angle, her walls flutter around him and she can feel the stutter of his hips. “Your filthy cunt is fucking sucking me in. You’re like some kind of witch. Come on, give it to me, Sades, fucking hell.” Staring down at the way a string of saliva connects her mouth to his fingers when he pulls them out at a tantalisingly slow pace gives him an idea. “Open your mouth.”
The compliant side of her does so immediately, moaning at the way his spit crawls down her tongue, he nods, she swallows. The wetness of his fingers immediately reaches between her folds and finds her clit, matching the pace of his persistent thrusts. Her left hand scrapes his spine and her right hand rips at his hair. She loathes the way his hands make her fold, feeling her climax take over her entire soul, her eyes squeezing shut at the feeling. “I fucking hate you so much.”
The tone in which she utters this word has him spilling inside her with a pained groan. The pair hold each other tightly as they both hit their peak, Sadie comes down almost immediately from the way Matty rides out his high inside her, she hisses from the overstimulation. “Fucking hell.” His body collapses on top of hers and she whines at the scraping feeling she feels inside. “Pull out, please.” A muttering of a few more swear words from her mouth pulls him from the cloud he’s found himself on, ripping himself from her. The boy inside of him peers down at the sight of his release spilling from her, she groans and steadies herself at the thought of standing up and cleaning herself up.
“Stay here. I’ll be right back.” Her eyes fixate on the torn up skin of his back as he pulls his boxers back on and sneaks into the bathroom. When he emerges, he smirks at Sadie’s sleeping figure on the couch, her deep-set eyes gently fluttering as she gives in, her dark eyelashes resting upon the cheeks. The one word ringing in his mind, beautiful, is giving him a headache. He rubs at her bare thigh in a soft attempt to wake her up, between whispers of different variants of her name. “Just cleaning you up, darling.” She gently whines and rolls over.
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“Why are you asleep on the couch?” George is hanging over her like a bad smell, looking down at her with a raised eyebrow, she groans and pushes his face away with a stretch. The sudden memories of the previous night climb into her brain and start to take over, sneaking a glance down, she smirks at the sight of the cushions propped up gently and her clothes on her body. The slight bliss that was beginning to take over her being is interrupted by an unrecognisable, shrill laugh at the kitchen island. George silently communicates at her to keep her mouth shut.
“Morning, Sades! Bacon roll?” At Matty’s chipper tone, George knows all he needs to know, cradling his forehead in his hand. She snorts and sits up, finally getting a look at the girl who was clearly not good enough for Matty. Sadie would describe the girl as ‘nice’, nothing more and nothing less. She looks nice. Matty doesn’t like nice. The other two boys are sat at the kitchen island too, stuffing bacon in their mouths like it’s going to make their hangovers magically disappear. Sadie circles round the couch to stand behind Ross, giving Matty a curt nod before sitting on the last spare seat, right next to this unknown girl.
“I’m Sadie. Who are you?” Adam covers his laugh with a cough, George groans into his hand, Ross is blissfully unaware, and Matty has to stop himself from whipping around to shout at the girl. The poor, innocent girl looks round at Sadie like she’d just shot her dog. A shit eating grin overtakes her mouth, smiling up at Matty as he places a bacon roll in front of her. “Thank you very much! Smells so good!” The tone of her voice makes Adam’s laugh finally escape his mouth, when Miss Unknown turns to him, brows furrowed, he panics.
“Oh, we have fun here.” Sadie opts for taking a bite so none of her laughter sneaks out. What a shit excuse, Adam.
“I’m Daisy, it’s, erm, nice to meet you?” No words. Sadie has no words. Daisy is basically Sadie rearranged. She politely nods at Daisy and turns to face forward in her seat, no longer wanting to interact with anyone. She feels a dull ache in her chest as she watches the way Matty talks to Daisy, a miniscule part of her brain is begging him to look at her. He doesn’t, instead turning back to the pan and humming a merry tune. Sadie is practically snarling at his back, knowing that her very nails have left marks on the hidden skin. That’s all it is. Hidden. Matty clearly has a sudden thought with the way his movements stop.
“Want any sauce, darling?” Sadie doesn’t know what happened, she’ll claim to have blacked out.
“No thanks, Matty.” Her eyes widen. Daisy nearly chokes on her breakfast, poor girl. As if on auto-pilot, Sadie’s feet drag her to her bedroom, completely abandoning her breakfast. She’s sure they all heard the scream she forced into her pillow.
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The moon is the only thing lighting up Sadie’s room, the hopeful gleam staring right in her window. The Smashing Pumpkins ‘Oceania’ is humming into her ears as she edits a few photos from the night before, specifically avoiding the ones of Matty. A gentle knock on her door rips her from her daydream, pulling her eyes from the moon she murmurs a “Come in.”, shutting her laptop and turning round in her chair. But the sight of the man she’s avoiding draws a silent groan from her throat, she turns away.
“Hi. Can we talk?” He’s grovelling and she doesn’t know why. When met with silence he keeps talking. “We can’t keep dancing around this, it’s starting to hurt me. I can’t fucking look at you without wanting something from you, anything. I just want a sign of life, Sades.” She stares back out the window, wishing she lived in a house alone on the moon. But no, she’s here, face to face with everything wrong with her. All she knows how to do is shake her head.
“I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t have anything to say to you.” The way he takes a deep breath as he sits down on her bed makes her panic a bit, she knows that he’s about to hurt her feelings. It was just the honest truth, she didn’t have anything to say to him, what words could possibly come out of her mouth that he’d want to hear. Not a single thought in her head is something that should be said out loud to him.
“No, Sadie. What do you want from me? I am fucking sick of you, the sight of you, the way you’ll speak to the boys with no fucking malice in your tone, what did I do to you? And, what? Every two months you want me to fuck you and have it not mean anything? I can’t stand to be in your fucking presence everyday anymore, it’s draining me.” She zones out slightly, trying to will the lump in her throat to go away. Nothing that he had said warrants tears because he is also telling the honest truth.
“We’ve ruined it. Been friends eight years and fucking ruined it.” Shaking her head with a wet laugh she lets it fall to rest on her knee, a single tear slipping out. “Can’t believe there was a time we got on. Now you’re just horrible to me.” Bitter laughter takes over her ears and another tear falls. And another. Lifting her head she writes down the words, ‘wishing you could forget the present you’re living in’, in the notebook on her desk. The notebook is just full of shit, mostly angry shit, recently.
“You’re the horrible one. One day someone snapped their fingers and you turned on me. I can’t fuck around with you anymore, you’ve changed, and it makes me sick. To my stomach. And calling me horrible? Whatever.”
“You’re still talking if you weren’t aware.”
“Yes I was. Wasn’t done either.” Standing up and gesturing wildly, his bitter tongue still talks. She’s reduced to a pile of sobs on her desk chair, just watching, unable to make it stop. “I also find it quite frankly hilarious that you’re the first one to tell people that I’m the ‘worst person you’ve ever met’, it wasn’t that when we were shagging everyday four years ago.” Sadie sniffs a laugh at this, he’s contradicting himself by saying ‘she’s changed’ one second, then referencing a time Sadie actually liked him. “Oh! Another thing, telling George that I’m the only one you don’t say ‘I love you’ to is so strange. I’d like an explanation.” Walking over to her until he’s hanging over her, she has to look up and face his snarl. “Why? Why don’t you love me. I think you do and you’re just fucking scared of me, pathetic, by the way. I think you realised years-”
She interrupts him, unable to control the angry scream ripping from the depths of her lungs. “Stop! Just fucking stop! Get the fuck away from me.” He stills and cocks an eyebrow. “GO.”
A slam of a door and tears coming out in screams is all that’s heard through the flat.
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The next time Matty’s on stage doing what he loves, he isn’t sure he actually loves it anymore. He’s considering hiring a new photographer. Sadie’s been dancing round his feet all night, apparently unable to take a single photo of Matty, she’s taken more photos of Adam tonight than she probably ever has. The way in which he is performing is growing slightly more aggressive, standing on the stage, seething, unable to do anything about it. Could you imagine what the crowd would think if he started shouting at his photographer mid-show?
She smirks as she comes round the back to take a couple photos of George, he shakes his head at her, and she lets out a laugh. Shrugging her shoulders as if she’s done nothing wrong, she quickly realises that coming onto the stage to take photos was a mistake, Matty turns his back on the crowd briefly and whispers in her ear, “What the fuck are you doing?”
“What? Nothing? My job.” Turning back to the crowd with a scoff he keeps singing, Sadie takes a couple photos of the view from the back of the stage, looking out into the mass of people, she smiles at her camera knowing it’ll be a good shot. Exiting the stage from the left hand side she takes a minute to look through a couple of the photos she’s taken as she sips from her water bottle. The events manager approaches her and smiles.
“Why aren’t you taking as many photos of Matty?” The way her sickly sweet voice punctures Sadie’s ears makes her cringe a little bit. But she hides it with a returned smile in her direction and turns her body slightly towards her. Taking in her professional outfit she hides a laugh, how she’s not sweating is one of the wonders of the world. The way she was very clearly flirting with Matty before the show had pissed her off and Sadie knew she was only asking because she wanted to see photos of Matty.
“Don’t worry about it.” Walking all the way to the back of the hall with no more words said, Sadie scoffs when she’s no longer in hearing distance. Shaking her head she snaps a few more pictures before heading back to the dressing rooms, hearing the band finish the show she busies herself with looking through photos. She likes to pretend she doesn’t exist after the boys finish a show, they also like to pretend she doesn’t exist, mostly high on adrenaline. Since people had started taking the band more seriously, the energy at their shows has increased tenfold. So has their egos but Sadie never makes comment on it. Hearing the stomps of Matty down the halls has her realising that pretending she doesn’t exist isn’t an option today.
“What the fuck was that? You’re embarrassing yourself.” Slamming the door behind him, leaving just the two of them in the dressing room, Sadie rolls her eyes. She watches on as he grabs a wine glass and pours from the bottle, he takes a sip and groans, shaking his head. When their eyes meet, Sadie curls into herself a bit, intimidated. “Just utterly pathetic.”
“What’s pathetic? Me not wanting to see your face? Did you forget the things you said to me? Or are you going to blame that as a ‘heat of the moment’ thing like you always do?” The slam of his glass on the table makes her jump and he turns to her with nothing but malice in his eyes.
“No, you should be able to hold a level of professionalism that allows you to do your job no matter how you actually feel, Sadie. You’ve always managed to photograph me even if I have been in the wrong, but not today. I’m calling you pathetic because I thought you were more mature than you actually are. Turns out I was fucking wrong, hmm?” Matty is leaning over her, pointing a finger down at her. She stands up to defend herself.
“Actually, I think that you speak to me like I’m a piece of shit on the bottom of your shoe and then expect me to carry myself professionally when in reality just the sight of your face makes me want to punch it. And oh, I’ll just carry on taking my silly little pictures and pretend you don’t come off that stage and hurt my feelings. Every. Single. Day.”
“Oh, I hurt your feelings? Fuck off, Sadie.” With this he leaves the dressing room and slams the door behind him so hard that Sadie sees the mirror on the wall shake a bit. She has to hold her laugh in when he comes back in for the bottle of wine. She really struggles to hold it back when George comes in and gives her a look like she’s dumb.
“What?” When George just laughs at her she laughs too. She grabs the second bottle of wine from the table and takes pleasure in drinking straight from it. “Genuinely what was I supposed to do? Let him keep treating me like this?” George leans onto her shoulder when he sits down, his voice is sympathetic, and Sadie is having none of it.
“You could’ve gone about it a bit nicer.”
“Why would I be ‘a bit nicer’ after all he’s done to me?”
“Yeah, you’re right, fuck him.” With that George takes the bottle and starts drinking from it too.
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They’ve somehow ended up in a sleazy bar in Soho, they’d played just round the corner at some hall Sadie can’t remember to name. Matty’s still pissed, Sadie is very drunk, some would call this a recipe for disaster, George would call this a recipe for entertainment. Sadie has linked eyes with a notably cute guy a couple of times this evening, but she’s waiting for him to be the gentleman and make the first move to speak. As Adam stands up to get the next round she hears laughter from behind her and sees Matty flirting with some girl. She turns to Adam, “Get me a vodka shot, too.”
Adam really shouldn’t be encouraging her to drink anything that strong, but after clocking on to what Matty was doing he immediately adds it to the list of drinks he’s ordering. When it slides in front of her it’s down her throat practically before it’s even stopped sliding her direction. Ross grips her arm and laughs but she pays no mind to him, distracted by the bitter taste in her mouth, she’d be convinced the bitter taste wasn’t coming from the liquor. Eyeing the way Matty’s arm slings around the girl and his shoulders look slightly less tense she turns to search the crowd of people, looking for the guy who was eye-fucking her earlier. She leaps out the barstool when she sees him, throwing everything about wishing he was gentlemanly out the window. “Hi, I’m Sadie.”
“Theo, nice to meet you. I was gonna come over in a bit but here you are, like a dream in front of me.” Sadie laughs probably louder than she should’ve at this, hand coming down on his arm. At this Theo notices the lack of drink in her hand and rests a hand on her lower back, “Shall we go get you something to drink? On me, of course.” She lets him lead her back to all her friends, narrowly avoiding them as he leans over the bar to order her an espresso martini. She does not like espresso martinis.
“Thank you. I noticed your accent, Australian, right? What are you doing in England?” The small talk flows quite freely between the two as they exchange careers and anecdotes, Sadie finds it easy to talk to him. Not as easy as any of her actual friends but it’s good enough. She has to hold her breath anytime she takes a drink but they’re free, so she isn’t saying anything. Matty catches her eye for the first time since being distracted by the girl on his lap, when he catches a glimpse of the blonde boy standing next to her he shakes his head. She scowls at him and turns back to the boy, a bit closer than she was before.
“Do you wanna get out of here? Maybe back to my hotel?” Sadie doesn’t really hear him, she sees Matty shaking her head at something the girl is saying and when she starts shouting at him Sadie knows he’d just been asked the same question she has. Matty makes fleeting eye contact with her, making a look that reads ‘I dare you’. Turning back to Theo she nods her head, smiling up at the smug look on his face, shoving his arm slightly. She finishes her drink with a slight gag and grips onto his arm as he leads her out the front.
“How far is your hotel?” She’d love to know why she feels guilty.
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Sadie’s sitting on the doorstep to their flat building with mascara staining her cheeks. When she’d gotten back to Theo’s hotel she experienced something akin to a panic attack and basically ran out of there, he’d chased her just to make sure she was okay and when all she said was, “It isn’t your fault,” he knew that it was the other guy from the bar holding her back, the one from her friend group, “I just have to get back to my flat.”
Feeling nothing less than mortified, she couldn’t bring herself to go in, so she was sitting smoking on the doorstep with the entire evening playing on a loop in her head. Dropping her head to her knees with a sigh she let one more tear fall before putting out her cig with her shoe and opening the door behind her. When she opens the door to the flat she’s met with silence, unsure if anyone’s home until she hears George snoring and a strum of a guitar in the room next to hers. Upon realising he’s the only other person awake she admits defeat and heads to her own room.
After brushing her teeth in the bathroom and grabbing water and some painkillers from the kitchen, she opens her bedroom door to Matty standing, staring down at her. Shutting the door behind her she looks up at him with a fixed glare, silently wishing he’d brush past her and shut the door so she could sleep. But no, as she shuts the door behind her she finds herself slammed against it. “You’re so fucking pathetic, Sades.” It might be the slight buzz she still feels in her head, but his words paired with his hands on her hips hit her right in her core, feeling like her head is about to float right off her shoulders.
“Matty, you’re just here to fuck with my head.” She really tried to make her words believable but the way she trails off into a whine makes it seem quite the opposite. The way in which her body always reacts to him the way he wants will forever make her angry, staring up at him trying to keep her glare steady on her face. It proves hard when Matty’s face moves down to her neck, attacking it with his lips, practically taunting her by the way he leans back up to swallow the moan that leaves her mouth.
She fights her body, trying her hardest to not kiss him back, but the way his tongue is licking into her mouth makes her desperate for anything he’ll give her. “Think you can just go fuck anyone, hmm? You’re wrong, angel. Belong to me, don’t you?” The scowl that takes over her features makes him smirk down at her. “Pretty when you’re angry. Gonna let me show you who you belong to?” She doesn’t want to nod but of course her body is doing things without her brains consent. To be fair said brain is actively turning to mush and melting out of her ears.
“Matty, please. Hurting my head.” After a quick glance up from her neck, he realises she doesn’t mean that literally, but instead she means that his actions are confusing her. He’s too in the moment to care, dragging her to the bed to put her out of her misery. The feeling of the mattress on her back makes her sigh in pleasure, he smirks down at her, working his hands under her, way too big, jumper as he hovers over her, moving down at a teasingly slow pace. She writhes on the bed until his hands take a strong grip of her hips, dragging them to the bottom of the bed before holding her in place as he kisses from her knee to her thigh. “Fuck, why do you always come crawling back to me? Just told me you can’t fuck me anymore.”
“I can’t get enough.” Letting go of her hips to move her panties down her thighs, her hands whip to his hair as she feels a puff of cold air blown onto her clit, her heart stopping in her chest at the feeling. He growls into her dripping cunt, licking a stripe up it before feeling her thighs squeeze his face, moving his hands round them to keep them apart. “Be good. Keep quiet. Maybe I’ll let you cum.” The whine that leaves her mouth is involuntarily and goes against what he’d just said, she knows she’s fucking in for it now.
Lowering her voice to a whisper she leans up onto her elbows, “Matty, do something.” Brown eyes looking into her blue ones with a teasing glint he gives her another kitten lick and her elbows give out on her, back arching from the mattress. The teasing pace of his tongue is making the whole ‘keep quiet’ thing impossible for Sadie, her entire fist is in her mouth at this point and her brain is wondering where on earth he learned how to do this. Sure, he’s eaten her out many times before, but this is her first time realising how good at it he’d gotten. “Please, stop teasing.”
Humming into her wetness, he ponders on whether he should give her more or not. Does she deserve it? “Me stop teasing you? Oh, angel. Take your own advice.” Something about the way she whimpers spurs him on to, in fact, stop teasing. Giving in to her immediately, his tongue finds her clit and picks up the pace by the most miniscule amount. Unwrapping one of his hands from her thigh, his fingers find her entrance, ever teasing, but finding their way in after she hisses down at him to stop.
When he parts for a breather Sadie can see her slick on his chin and the sight brings out something carnal in her. She grabs his chin and pulls him up to her level, smashing their lips together as if they’re running out of time. Pulling away from her, Matty looks down at her, jaw slightly slack. “Like tasting yourself? What do you want, angel? Speak to me.” His digits still slipping deeper into her makes it incredibly difficult for her to formulate words, after whining at him and being met with a cocked eyebrow, she manages.
“Want you.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Just fuck me, Matty.” He doesn’t relent. Hands speeding up, kisses draped across her neck, his other hand finding it’s way up her jumper, squeezing her tits. Determined to pull at least one orgasm from her before giving in to what she wants. He groans into her neck when he feels how tight she’s squeezing his two fingers. “I’m gonna cum.”
“Let go then, angel. Give it to me, all over my fingers, gonna make a mess?” Frantically nodding, she feels her brain fading away into nothingness before his lips wrap around hers. Laying still, not kissing back, her orgasm takes over her being, Matty practically chews her moans with his teeth as if they were tangible. With a whine she rips his hand from between her thighs and finally gives in to the feeling of his lips on hers, kissing back with fervour. He pulls away to glance at his fingers, smothered in her arousal, the sight alone would’ve made him hard if he wasn’t already. Opening her mouth without having to be told to, she takes his two fingers into her mouth, sucking tiredly at them. “You tired?” Taking his hand out of her mouth to hear her reply, he smiles down at her blown out pupils.
“Fuck me, please.” Sometimes she can’t help but make the same mistakes.
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Sadie had woken up hours ago. Some sick part of her is forcing her to stay in bed, under his arms, in his t-shirt. There’s an air of domesticity surrounding the pair, the way his dark eyelashes flutter slightly in his sleep has Sadie enamoured. Silently wishing things could be easier, with a sigh. Her brain starts to ponder on where things went wrong, and who might’ve been at fault, when she didn’t like the conclusion she came to she shut her eyes. Matty must’ve felt the way her body shook slightly, waking up slowly with a long stretch. “What you crying for?”
“I don’t know.” He squeezes his arms slightly tighter around her and wipes a tear from her cheek, unable to stop the concerned expression from taking over his features. Rubbing a soothing hand down her back, he shushes her until she’s calm, looking down at her slightly with an encouraging glint in his eye. “I just feel shit about the point we’ve gotten to. Wish we were 16 again.”
“Angel, don’t feel shit. I’ve been a dick to you recently and I’m sorry, I just don’t know how to speak to you anymore.” Sadie nods against his arm at his words, the soft smile taking over his face makes her feel at home. He looks like he’s 18 again in the mornings. It makes Sadie feel a bit sick.
“I don’t know how to speak to you either. We’ve spent everyday together for as long as I can remember, but it’s like you changed without me realising.” Matty hanging off of every word she says enhances the sick feeling in her stomach and she looks away from him. Grabbing her water from the bedside table she cradles her headache with her other hand and hears Matty laughing at her from behind. Putting her water back down she hits his chest and stands up. “I can’t have this conversation with you. I think I need to fucking find my own place. Then Ross and Adam can actually have their own rooms instead of being forced to share. Think it would be best for everyone.” Being met with a head of curls frantically shaking, she sighs.
“You can’t.”
“I will. Watch me.”
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Text
Wedding guest // Ross Macdonald x Reader
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summary: the whole band is a guest at a wedding (you’re part of it) and then you get closer and closer to Ross
warnings: 18+ mdni
masterlist
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The evening is aglow with the soft light of lanterns strung overhead, casting a magical ambiance over the outdoor wedding venue. As a member of The 1975, you are part of the band invited to perform at this special occasion. The air is filled with music, laughter, and the chatter of guests, but amidst it all, your attention keeps drifting to Ross.
The last months your feelings have changed. He was always your best friend and you spend the most time together but it’s different. He makes you want him all the time. You miss him when he’s gone for 5 minutes but you can’t breathe when he’s there. The longer you look at him, the more you want to tell him that you want to be with him.
But you can’t. Because it’ll ruin everything.
That’s why you’re sitting in front of him, avoiding to look him in the face, even though he looks as beautiful as ever today. In a black suit, matching his beard, eyes and smile.
“Bollocks! C’mon Ross you agree with me right?” John laughs and sips his drink. Honestly you don’t even know what you’ve been talking about and Ross doesn’t either.
“Sure,” he laughs. His hand drops down under the table and seconds later he’s pulling out a cigarette. He holds up the pack.
“Would you like one?” He asks and you decline. You don’t want your own. You only want to share. Ross nods.
You take the last sip of your drunk and stand up, “I’m gonna get a refill,” you mumble as you walk away.
“Mate, she’s weird today don’t you think?” Ross nudges John and nods his head your way. John just smiles because he knows about your feelings and he knows about how Ross feels about you.
“You haven’t said one word to her, maybe a compliment wouldn’t have been bad.” That’s true. When Ross gives you compliment they mean so much more. You want to be beautiful just to hear him say you are. It’s stupid.
“She’s not even looking at me longer than a minute let alone speaking to me in a full sentence.” His head drops and he starts rubbing his forehead, trying to understand why you’re acting that way.
John’s hand finds his shoulder, “just tell her already mate.” A voice interrupts the two.
“Tell her you are whipped for her?, mate it’s getting timeeee,” Matty says hugging him ironically from behind.
“Fuck off,” Ross says, pushing his head away, “you’re plastered already.” Matty huffs at the obviously true statement.
“I’m telling you, don’t be an arse and tell her you wanna shag her.” John breaks out in laughter and puts an arm around his shoulder. “Fucking drink some water,” he says and leaves with him.
Ross is sitting there, hoping you’ll return any second and you do. With a new cocktail. You lost count of how many drinks you had but it doesn’t even matter. The second you sit down the groom is speaking through the microphone.
“Okayyy, it’s getting time for some dances, you’re all welcome to join on the dance floor.” It’s a funky song and you’re definitely not drunk enough to show some dance moves.
“Where’s John?” You ask, breaking the silence. You look around because John promised to tell you the newest tea from his family.
“Looking after Matty, he’s had a tad much of alcohol.” You giggle. The sound makes Ross smile and warm his heart.
“Knew it,” you said “Adam owes me 20 quid.” Adam was so sure that Charli is going to be the drunkest but she’s dancing with George, too busy to drink.
You look around and there are not many people sitting down. At your table there’s only you and Ross and at the one next to you there’s Polly and Gabi.
Ross doesn’t stop looking at you, it drives you crazy. You tug at your dress slightly, trying to shake off the nervousness. But it’s hard when the guy you’ve had a crush on for a while now is smiling at you.
The song changes to a slow one. ‘Kiss me’ from Ed Sheeran is now playing through the speakers. Your gaze drops to the dance floor, looking at the couples and some friends paring up to dance.
Ross stands up as he extends a hand towards you.
“Care to dance?” he asks, his British accent adding an extra layer of charm to the invitation.
You look up at him, surprised by his request. You take a deep breath to calm your racing heart. The twinkle in his eyes is infectious, and without any more hesitation, you place your hand in his.
“I’d love to,” you reply, rising from your seat.
He leads you through the cluster of tables and guests towards the dance floor.
Once you reach the dance floor, Ross turns to face you, his hand firmly on your waist as he holds your other hand in his. His touch sends a thrill through you, igniting a cascade of emotions that you struggle to contain.
You sway together in perfect rhythm until he spins you one time, and when your face finds his, his hand isn’t on your waist, but your back. His touch sending a shiver down your spine. You can feel the heat of his body, the steady rise and fall of his chest as you move together, lost in the enchantment of the moment.
It feels too real, him looking down at you through his perfect brown eyes. It’s something you could do for hours, gazing into his eyes, observing every breath he takes.
“Finally G,” Charli says as they both watch you.
Lost in the magic of the moment, you lean into him, the distance between you evaporating with each passing second. The soft brush of his breath against your cheek, the warmth of his embrace—it all feels like a dream you never want to wake from.
You think about what his lips would feel like on yours. But this is wrong. You’re friends. Ross wouldn’t think about you like that. You abruptly pull away, completely out of breath even though you were resting your face next to his, not on his.
“Sorry, I just-“ you stutter, “I have to-“ you look around, people still dancing, but the man in front of you looking at you baffled.
You pull your lips together and walk away, walking away from the venue to a little viewing platform. Far way from the people so they can’t see you, but you can hear them.
“Mate what happened?” George approaches Ross but he doesn’t give him an answer, he goes after you, taking his drink with him.
The air is cool and refreshing against your flushed cheeks. Overwhelmed by the intensity of emotions stirred up during the dance with Ross, you need a moment alone to collect your thoughts.
That moment is interrupted by footsteps behind you, you know that it’s Ross.
“Hey, are you okay?” He asks his voice gentle yet earnest.
You nod, offering him a faint smile, “yeah, just needed to cool down.”
Ross steps closer, seeing the goosebumps on your arms, your red nose and your slight shaking from the cold. He shruggs his jacket off and puts it around your shoulders.
You wrap it around yourself, feeling the familiar scent of his cologne envelop you. It is an intimate gesture, one that stirrs a up a swirl of emotions within you.
You thank him but he’s quick to say “anytime.”
The two of you stand there, enveloped in a moment of quiet understanding. With Ross by your side, the weight of your emotions seem to lighten, the warm feeling in your stomach relaxing you.
“I haven’t told you today, but you look absolutely stunning,” you blush and you’re sure he sees. The wind blowing your hair into your face, covering your eyes.
Ross carefully tucks them behind your ear, smiling, “there you are,” he jokes. You’re still baffled from his compliment and now the small gesture. he’s driving you insane.
Somehow you gained some confidence and because you are friends you’re not unfamiliar with body contact.
You grab his hands so lightly that he doesn’t feel it until your hands are resting in each other. “You don’t look bad yourself McDonald.” He chuckles and enjoys the moment, not letting his eyes look away.
“Are you okay?” He asks, trying to find out what’s got you confused. You exhale shakily.
“It’s just,” he looks at you expectant but he’s still reassuring you it’s fine to tell him, “I was nervous.”
“Why’s that?” You remove your hands from his and take his glass into your hands to take a sip. You pause, because you can’t tell him the reason you’re nervous. You can’t tell him that he makes your heart flutter like a teenage girl.
“Hm?” Your name rolls off his lips and he takes a step further. “You can tell me.” He whispers.
“You make me nervous.” It slips. You look away but his hands cradle your face. He suppresses a smile.
His hands are on your face, warming your cold cheeks. You’re forced to look him in the eyes, scared that he will break your heart.
“I make you nervous?” He repeats, “why?” You close your eyes for a second, thinking about what to say. “I want you to feel comfortable around me.”
“I do!” You say quickly, “I really do, I mean we’re friends and shit.” You sigh.
Now it’s unavoidable. You have to tell him. You will ruin everything. Your eyes wander from his eyes to the lights in the background until they’re back at Ross.
“I just really like you.” You say but what you want to say is that you really really really really like him.
“I like you too,” he says but you shake your head which makes him raise his eye brows.
“No Ross, I mean like I like you. And I didn’t want to say anything because we’re best friends and we’re on tour and I don’t want it to be weird. But then you’re always so nice and want to know if something’s wrong and I didn’t know-.” You’re rambling is stopped by your body being pulled flush against his, his hands grabbing your waist.
“Tell me when you’re done,” he says, smiling. Why is he smiling. Why is your body on his, feeling everything and why is your mouth suddenly so dry you can’t speak.
His gaze flicks down to your lips before his hand is on your neck, pulling you close. Now it’s a good thing you’re pulled against him because your knees buckle and you feel as if you’re gonna faint. His lips on yours feel better than you imagined.
“Wait,” you say as you pull away, “does this mean?” He’s on you again. His lips soft against yours, as he gives you only one long kiss.
“I really like you too,” he says. You want so scream, jump, cry, laugh but you stand there in shock. This is the best day of your life.
This time it’s you who pulls him in, Ross having to bend down to kiss you. His hand finds your lower back, pressing you against him, earning a shaky breath from you. An excuse to let his tongue brush against yours.
You can’t stand the heat, you want to rip his clothes off right there. “Do you think we can leave?” You ask, making him laugh.
“Patient much?” He teases, then he looks back at the venue. The people are still dancing and singing. When he looks back at you he knows he can’t wait as well.
“You absolutely sure?” He asks, “not too tipsy?” You shake your head and your eyes tell him you want him more than anything.
“I’m sure Ross, please,” His eyes are on you again, but this time, there wasn’t any questioning to them, as if he was searching for any sign that your words were less than sincere.
His hand goes through his face, “Jesus,” He’s having a hard time, not knowing what to do. He really wants to take it slow, give you a proper date. But you’re in front of him, saying ‘please’ so nicely.
He grabs your hand and leads you down the stairs, “okay,” he says, “let’s go to my hotel.”
You’re giddy, excited and you can’t believe that you have Ross, leading you to his room. You both move in a hurry, almost running. You’re lucky the hotel isn’t far away and you don’t need a car to get there.
When you reach his room, you lay his jacket on a stool. His bed isn’t made and his suitcase is still unpacked, but open. The door to the bathroom is open and you are amazed at the beautiful decorations.
Your thoughts get pulled back to reality as his arms wrap around your body and his mouth trails kisses down your neck. You smile and let your head fall against his shoulder. “Gorgeous,” he mumbles.
He spins you around and leans down to kiss you, more hungrily this time. He stumbles to the bed with you and lays on top of you, his mouth never leaving yours.
God, the way he kisses you should be illegal. Because it isn’t only his tongue, it’s the shameless groans he gradually let out the more the kiss intensifies -the way he bucks his hips upwards so you can feel how hard each kiss makes him. You are having a hard time breathing steadily.
You pull him closer by his tie, your mouth brushing against his ear before you speak just so you could feel the way your warm breath makes him shiver. “You make me crazy.”
“Yeah?” He reattaches his lips to yours, kissing you like his life depends on it.
Your hands finds his tie but you never fucking touched a tie so you just pull until he breaks out in laughter. “Let me.” He removes the tie in one move and now your hands are on his buttons. 4 open and you can’t wait so you just yank it over his head. He wastes no time getting back to kissing you, his lips trailing down your jaw and neck.
Your hands caress every inch of his skin you could reach from your position, the softness of your touch eliciting sweet sounds from his lips.
He rutts his hips against yours and you gasp at the feeling of his very hard member pressing into you.
“Ross,” you whisper softly, losing yourself at his hands and mouth touching your body. “I need you,” you continue.
“I’m here,” he says, keeping his slow grinding motions going. “What do you need?” He asks, his face coming up close to yours.
His gorgeous brown eyes waiting for an answer. “Touch me.” You say.
“I want to take my time with you, let me?” You nod and he grins. His hands find your back and the zipper of your dress. In one smooth movement he pulls the dress off of you.
You’re exposed now and it’s not helping you ease your nerves, when he’s staring at you. Your hands find your face.
“Don’t,” he moves your hands away, “you’re fucking beautiful.” Maybe it’s the black lace set you decided to wear. But for Ross it’s more. He waited for this since he’s known you.
He kisses the nervous feeling away from your lips and meanwhile his fingers find its way under your panties. When his knuckles brush over your clit, you forget to breathe. When they barely skim your entrance, collecting arousal to drag back upward, your brain malfunctions. It is not enough, but when he finds a careful, introductory rhythm, it’s immediately bordering on too much, too good.
You gasp into his mouth, rolling your head back, closing your eyes at the new sensation. “Keep your eyes on me love,” he whispers against your neck, “need you to look at me.” You obey and open your eyes again.
Your stomach tenses and you are surprised by your own sighs and hesitant gasps as you try to adjust to the feeling of Ross’ hand between your legs. “Fuck-“ you moan and Ross groans against your neck.
“Feel good?” Stupid question, you think. He’s fucking amazing and hotter than you’ve ever imagined. You nod and whimper at the steady rhythm, rubbing your clit and his fingers hitting the perfect spot inside you.
He talks to you, asks you stuff and you can barely listen let alone answer him. “What do you think about when you touch yourself?”
“You,” you moan. It’s always him and it’s always gonna be him. Ross is your endgame.
He groans, “good answer.”
“Oh my god,” comes your breathy little whisper, unprepared for and intimidated by how good he’s making you feel. Filthy noises come from between your legs and you clench around his fingers. The sensation is getting too much and your back arches off the back, pressing your chest against him.
Ross is still in his suit trousers but he’s very uncomfortable because of his raging boner pressing against the fabric. Every once in a while he grinds himself against your thigh, letting out groans deep from his chest.
“There you go darling,” you can feel your orgasm crash over you. Eyes squeezing themselves shut as the pleasure rocked through you. Ross continues to curl his fingers inside you through the euphoria, until he gently removes his fingers from you, licking his fingers clean.
“Taste like heaven, shit,” he comes up to give you a deep kiss, “you ok?” He asks and you nod, cradling his face and pulling his body completely on yours, so he’s not half on you and half on the bed. His bulge finds your core, and he can’t control his thrusting anymore.
Your hands find his belt fumbling around trying to shove them off, “Off Ross, please,” you whine and he laughs pushing the pants down. But before throwing them behind him, he pulls out a condom out of his pocket.
“Patient girl, aren’t you?” He grins. That fucking smirk. You love that smile, his dimples. You love him.
After he puts the condom on, he gives his cock a few strokes but then his hand is replaced by yours. You look down but immediately look into his face, his eyes rolling back and filthy words falling out of his mouth. “Love, shit-“ he groans and thrusts up into your hand, his stomach tightens already but then he swats your hand away.
You know that he needs you and you’re burning for him as well. “Been patient enough, just fuck me.” He laughs and then he’s lining himself up with your entrance, his lips never leaving yours.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he half whispers, half groans into your ear.
You both gasp when he’s pushing himself inside of you completely. It stings a bit, “fuck- wait a sec.” He does as you say and he doesn’t move, keeping his hips still.
“You’re doing okay love?- Shit,” he breathes out, trying to study your face and then you open your eyes again, kissing him and putting your thighs on his sides, your legs pushing him even deeper.
He moans and it’s the best sound you’ve ever heard. “Move Ross,” He closes his eyes, taking a steadying breath as he starts thrusting into you. Your walls squeezing him tight, producing the most resounding groan you'd ever heard.
Ross keeps one hand on your hip, then placing his other on the headboard, knuckles turning white from his fierce and unrelenting grip. He tries so hard not cum right there.
You moan his name multiple times following after some “fucks,” or “Jesus’” and he just keeps going. Not slowing down but not going faster. He enjoys it and takes his time with you. Devouring every spot you’re giving him.
“Wanted this forever,” he says, his forehead dropping to your shoulder, “you’re so gorgeous shit-“ you clench around him again.
“Please Ross, god-“ Your continuous whimpers and pleas are sending chills down his spine, spurring him on.
“You’re Perfect,” He breathes, his hand running up your back affectionately as his hips repeatedly slam into yours. You start to instinctively push back against him, pushing him further.
You feel your orgasm approaching again and Ross notices too. “Go ahead love,” his thumb finds your clit, rubbing slow circles again while his cock hits your spot. You clench around him again, letting your orgasm wash over you.
It triggers his own, his hips stuttering before he collapses on top of you. You’re practically useless, your body feeling like jello, you close your eyes, relishing in the contact of his warm skin to yours.
You think about how your life will go on. Are you going to be together, was it a one time thing? You certainly don’t want it to be.
“You with me?” He laughs, making you giggle and hide in his chest. “Soooo with you,” you mumble.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” it’s a great gesture and you’re grateful but you need him. You grab his arm and pull him down again.
“Later,” you hum, “stay with me Ross.” He nods and furrows his brows, kissing every little spot on your head.
Your mind goes blank as you whisper into the air. “I’m so in love with you.” You close your eyes, trying to avoid his gaze but he lifts your chin with his thumb and pointing finger, taping your temple softly.
He says your name and when you open your eyes he’s already looking at you. He kisses you softy before confessing as well. “I’m so in love with you, you have no idea.”
One tear slips from your eyes which is quickly wiped away by Ross’ thumb. He rolls you on top of him, hugging your body so tight you both can’t breath.
“You think they noticed we’re gone?” You ask even though you’re sure they know and you’re not ready to listen to the banter in the morning.
“Now you worry?” His laugh is your favorite sound, it makes you smile again, nuzzling closer into his chest, which is moving up and down still a little faster then usual.
At some point his breathing steadies and so does yours and you fall asleep with him. Your dream has come true
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hand-along · 5 hours
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https://anne-754.tengp.icu/u/qeGHbDI
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v. one time thing
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this blog is 18+. minors, do not interact. this blog is a safe space. no hate or disrespect of any kind will be tolerated. all work is my own. do not reupload my work on any other site without my consent.
a/n: and here’s the long awaited final part!! thank you for your patience and support and i hope you love it as much as i do <3
part i. part ii. part iii. part iv.
548 words
he’s panting when he comes back to himself, his face pressed into the cold floor of his apartment over your shoulder. your hands smooth over his back, a hum passed from you to him and back again.
“well,” matty sighs, breathing in the smell of your hair. “i’m an idiot.”
he leans up on his elbows above you and gazes at the soft smile that spreads over your face. your cheeks are flushed, your eyeliner smudged, and he’s sure he’s never seen anything more beautiful.
he is a damned, bloody idiot.
“tell me something i don’t know,” you peek open one eye. “though i am feeling quite benevolent towards you at the moment.”
he nods and tries to hide a grin. “three orgasms will do that.”
“what have you been stupid about,” you swat at his shoulder. “this time.”
“you,” he answers quietly. you freeze underneath him and he drops a gentle kiss between your eyes. “this. i should have known you’d make a fool out of me.”
you blink up at him, wary and hesitant. “what are you talking about?”
“you’re not something i need to get out of my system,” his forehead falls onto yours. “you’re already there. you’ve been there for quite some time, and i find i don’t want it to go away.”
“thats just the sex talking,” the words rush out of your mouth in one breath. “we’ll talk it over in the morning. see how you feel.”
“i’ll feel the same.”
“okay. we’ll see.”
-
matty fucks you up against his bedroom window, bent over his desk, and in his shower. as the two of you were half-heartedly towelling off, sneaking hot, open mouth kisses over damp skin, you make some suggestion of calling a cab. he bends and heaves you over his broad shoulders in response, tossing you on his bed in a tangle of limbs and flannel sheets. matty lets his body fall over yours and curls calloused fingers around your waist.
he’s halfway asleep when he feels your nose press to his collarbone and the hand that’s tucked under his body curls into his hair.
“did you mean it?” you ask after taking a breath in. “is this—is this something you’ve wanted?”
with your words, matty lets out a deep breath and further buries his face in your tangled hair. “i’ve always wanted you.”
-
you’re not there when he wakes up.
still under the haze of sleep, he pats the space on the mattress next to him and feels cool sheets. he should have known. this whole thing was a stupid idea. he shouldn’t have even been at george’s party in the first pla—
just as his mind begins to spiral, the door creaks open and a mug of coffee is placed on the nightstand.
“i raided your kitchen.”
you’re smiling down at him, wearing his shirt, holding a piece of toast smeared with jam and he thinks you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
“that’s okay,” he half-whispers and moves over to let you back in.
you smile softly and sit next to him, one hand immediately going to his hair and letting his curls tangle in your gentle fingers. his head turns into your thighs and he speaks into your skin.
“do you understand now?”
“do you?”
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office-quite · 1 day
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lyrical-swift · 3 days
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Taylor Swift - The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
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HEY EVERYONE LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN MY CAMERA ROLL
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hrryshoney · 3 days
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that’s my seat!!
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here's a collection of bits & bobs from my drafts, some of them which i don't recall writing so i have no idea what was supposed to happen lol
warning: 18+, smut. grammatical errors, typos.
other bf matty blurbs & rambles here.
lost inside your thoughts, you don't notice when he pokes his head through the open glass door and it's only when you see his bare feet walking towards you that you acknowledge his presence. hey. he takes off his stripped jumper to wrap around your shoulders before nestling by your side. the comfort that washes over you is instant. you would've never thought that a singular human being could make you feel at home. but matty does. he is home.
he lifts up your skirt, bunching it up at your hips for easier access, his eyes widening at the sight of the wet spot on your red underwear. seeing your slick seep through the cotton is all it takes for him to bury his mouth in the spot you craved most, sucking you trough the material. your taste and scent driving him absolutely mad. i love your cunt, darling.
it came as a surprise to no one that having sex while on tour could be a tricky yet exciting endeavour. on one hand, you were self conscious of invading your friends’ personal space because, let’s be real, it was fucking difficult to keep quiet and you always got teased afterwards. but on the flip side, the mere thought of being caught was almost more than enough motivation to fuck wherever you pleased.
you try your best to hold it but you cannot help but burst out laughing at his response. maybe lauder that you should've. "so you mean to say that ALL of those times we've listened to this album together you've been thinking about jacking off?" he laughs, too, slightly covering his face with his hands. "umm..." you give him a questioning look but he slowly nods his head. "not all of the time, though. but yes... the thought does cross my mind."
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frailstateofkirke · 2 days
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