Forgetmenot

Summary: You and Spencer are feeling the aftermath of the biggest fight you have ever gotten in, one that was fueled by Emily’s return, both in life and to the BAU. Will he be able to save your friendship? More importantly, is he finally ready to confess the one lie he’s kept from you? 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x (gender neutral) reader.

Includes: deep angst, feelings of self-hatred, crying, some heartbreak in the start, fluff, and kissing. 

Word Count: 2.6K

A/N: Hi guys! This is the first fic I’m posting to this account, and I hope you all enjoy! Thank you for reading. 

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You feel the tears clawing at your eyelids, begging for an escape as you finally get back to your apartment. God, a work week has never felt this long. You throw your keys onto your kitchen counter and shrug your bag off, heading straight for your bedroom. You didn’t dare check your phone, you already knew what would be waiting for you, and it could wait. 

All day long your colleagues have been sending you sympathetic glances and tight lipped smiles, and you wanted it to end more than anything. So what you and Spencer basically weren’t friends anymore? So what if your soul was entirely crushed and ground into nothing more than a fine power? So what if you wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball and hide in the corner for the rest of your miserable life? They probably had reason to worry, now that you thought about it, but God it was suffocating. Penelope had sent seven texts in a row, as well as multiple sparkly cat gifs, as soon as you made it to your car. It was soon followed by a notification from Derek, JJ, and eventually Emily. Aaron had pulled you aside as soon as you guys had landed, wanting your assurance  that everything was okay. You remember nodding in confirmation.  

Yeah, everything’s fine. 

Oh how wrong you were. 

Emily had been gone for ten weeks. Aaron had sent her to Paris to hide from Ian Doyle, a man she had a long and complicated history with, and a man that wanted her dead. On Monday morning of this week before a debriefing for the teams newest case, she came back. You were the only one out of your colleagues to know where she was that entire time, and Spencer didn’t find out by you telling him. He found out by the relaxed expression on your face when Emily walked in, your eyes darting to anything that wasn’t her or the rest of your team. He found out by the way you didn’t even greet Emily as if she’d been gone for months. He found out by the way you didn’t catch your breath like the rest of them had - like you had been expecting her. 

Because you had.

You had worked in the BAU for almost five years now, coming in after working with the National Security branch of the FBI for two years prior. By some miracle, you had made quick friendships with your new coworkers, especially with the BAU’s resident genius, Spencer Reid. You two had the most in common, being incredibly young at the time you started, being super-humanly smart, and being interested in things like chess, comic-cons, foreign language movies, and extra strength coffee kept the two of you close. 

You considered him to be your best friend, and if someone would have asked him last week what he considered you, he would have said the same. But times change, and so did his attitude toward you. 

When Aaron had pulled you aside in the office eleven weeks ago to discuss the plan for Emily, you were lost. 

Why am I the one who has to know? Why couldn’t you tell Derek or JJ? You remember yelling, your voice loud and shaken. 

I trust you the most with this kind of task. You’re a better liar than any of them, and I know you’ll do what you must to keep Emily alive and safe. Plus, you worked in National Security. I’m having you keep tabs on her, and I know you’ll be able to hide her from him. It wasn’t a simple decision, but it’s the one I have the most confidence in. I’m sorry.  

I’m sorry. 

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry. 

Your feet carried you to your room, shoving off the rest of your scratchy clothes until you were bare, now heading for the bathroom. Opening the shower, you turned the knob all the way over, watching the tiny room fill with steam. Steeping in, you let it fill your lungs. You let it devour you.

The plane ride to this weeks case was the biggest indicator that he was mad. Scratch that - profoundly pissed - is a better way of describing the anger that radiated from Spencer. He was quiet the entire week, only speaking when spoken to and never even bothering to glance in your direction. When the two of you had to go to the coroners together, he only spoke in short, passive aggressive remarks. And last night after the unsub had been apprehended and you guys had settled back into the motel for one last sleep before leaving for Virginia that next morning, you decided that enough was enough. You needed to talk to Spencer. You needed to explain yourself. You had to. That’s how you ended up at the door to his room at two in the morning. 

It was no use, however. He had already made up his mind. He wanted nothing to do with you, and your heart broke with every crack in his voice as he screamed at you. You deserved this. You deserved every last bit of venom he spewed at you. All of it. 

I mean come on! You willingly let me come to your house every day for ten weeks straight. You let me spend every night crying in your arms and mourning the loss of my friend, and you never had the decency to tell me that she was alive! What kind of friend does that? 

It wasn’t a choice, Spencer! I was given orders. It could’ve gotten Emily killed if anyone else knew! You think I liked having you cry in my arms every night? Do you? Because it killed me, Spencer! I would wait every night until I was sure you were asleep to slip away to the bathroom so I could cry. Because I couldn’t do it in front of you! Shit, some days I had to leave my fucking apartment when you were there because I knew I was going to be loud! 

You need to leave - I’m not doing this right now. 

But Spencer I-

I said leave. Now. 

And you left. You left the room of the only man you truly cared about. The man who wanted nothing to do with you anymore. He despised you. You just knew it. 

Reluctantly you turned the shower off, wiping the condensation from the sink mirror after you had stepped out. You hated what you saw in your reflection. Maybe you deserved this. Maybe you really were a terrible friend. 

Maybe.

You got dressed, only throwing on underwear and an oversize sweater that Spencer had gifted you two Christmases ago, something that had grown to be your favorite thing to wear. It was a dark brown with black stripes and he had worn it a few times during his ten week long stay here. He spent the night almost each time, not wanting to be alone in fear of his thoughts consuming him. You’d have to give it to a Goodwill or something, but not today. Today you were selfish, doing anything you could to make things feel normal again. It wasn’t really helping, though. 

You decided to finally check your phone, only taking a short glance before turning the ringer off completely and chucking it across the room. His name wasn’t on there. He still wasn’t talking to you. You had hoped he would. Hope is a stupid thing to have. 

You laid down in bed, your knees coming to your chest. This sucked so bad. All you wanted to do right now was to talk to him. Thats all you ever wanted to do, really. He was your best friend, after all. Over the years you slowly had felt... other things... for him as well, but he would never know that. He couldn’t because it was stupid and he didn’t feel the same, contrary to your coworkers’ beliefs. They teased the two of you all the time for how close you guys were, but it was just a friendly thing, right?

 I mean - friends play chess. Friends hang out outside of work most days of the week. Friends get each other coffee every morning... and sometimes a blueberry muffin or sesame bagel when they had time. Friends called dibs on each other when motel rooms were divided up. Friends cuddled when they had movie nights. Friends called each other when they had bad dreams- one always staying on the line until they reached the other’s apartment - even if it was the middle of the night. Friends learned everything and anything they could about each other, even what restaurants they avoided because they got food poisoning there once and how they got when there were too many people around and the noise was getting unbearable. Friends fell asleep on each other, especially on long jet rides - and because they always sat next to one another. They did those things, right? Right?

A knock on your front door pulled you from your thoughts, your head lifting up from your pillow. Another rung out, this one with more force. 

It’s probably Emily. I should’ve texted her back. 

You slipped from your bed and trudged to the front door, not bothering to put any pants on first since the sweater went down to your knees anyway. You unlatched the locks and swung it open a few inches, immediately regretting it when you saw who stood on the other side. You went to close it back, hoping he would just go away, but his voice caught you off guard.

“(Y/n)? Can we talk?” He said, his eyes drifting around your face. 

You were stunned, to say the least. Why was he here? Was he here to yell at you again? Did he really want to open that can of worms now? 

Not trusting your voice to speak steadily, you nodded, opening the door enough for him to slip through. He pulled something from behind his back, moving it to the front and holding it out. It was a bouquet of flowers - forget-me-nots and baby’s breath - your favorite. You looked at him with curious eyes, slowly taking them from his grip. You took a second to look at them before moving past Spencer, opening your cabinet for a glass. You filled it with water and put the bouquet inside, rolling the glass across to the corner of the countertop. 

“Look, I know you probably don’t want to see me right now, especially after how awful I was to you yesterday, but I had to come see you. I had to come apologize-” 

“There’s no reason for you to apologize. You’re right. I’m a horrible friend and I lied to you. I hurt you.” You cut him off.

He shook his head, taking a short step closer to you, “(Y/n), you had no choice. I understand that now. I didn’t want to believe you at first because - I let my anger get the best of me - and I shouldn’t of blown up on you. I should’ve never raised my voice at you. If anything, you kept me from hurting. I would have been much worse off if I didn’t come here everyday. And I only have you to thank for that.” 

You inhaled, closing your eyes in hopes of keeping the tears from falling. “Do you know how Hotch had to order that new lamp for his office a few weeks ago? That weird blue one that we all made fun of?” You asked, still not looking at Spencer, who was now only a few inches from you. 

“Yeah”

You let out a breathy chuckle, a stray tear making its way from your failed barricade. “He had to get a new one because I broke his last one. I accidentally hit it off his desk the day he told me about what would happen with Emily. I kinda wish he would’ve fired me for it, but he didn’t. He just kept talking while I threw a fit like some... insolent child. I didn’t want to. But it meant life or death for Emily, and I couldn’t risk it, I couldn’t and I’m so sorry Spencer-” you blubbered, the tears now falling freely from your eyes. You felt warmth around you, his arms sneaking around your waist and pushing you against him. Your shoulders drooped as you cried, feeling terrible for what you did. He wasn’t having it, though - adamant on making you know he wasn’t mad anymore. 

You heard a sniffle come from him, his chest rising unevenly. “Please stop apologizing. Please don’t be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m not mad, I promise.” He pulled away for a moment, his hands landing on either side of your shoulders, his eyes inspecting your face. His hands trailed up, gingerly wiping away the wet paths along your cheeks. “I can’t lose you, (Y/n). You’re one of the most important people in my life and I refuse to be the reason we fall apart. I refuse to be the reason you fall apart. I shouldn’t of yelled at you like that and I will regret it for the rest of my life. It’s my number one rule and I broke it- and I can’t take it back, but I will make it up to you, so help me God.” He whispered, his words filling your heart with the warmth of a sweltering summer’s eve. 

“One of your rules? What do you mean?” You asked, the words replaying in your head. 

He chuckled, two of his fingers hooking under your chin. “Can I tell you a secret?” He asked.

You nodded.

“A little while back, I made rules about you. I mean - technically not rules per-say - but just promises I vowed to keep when I was around you. One was that I was always respectful to you, like I’d never yell at you or say degrading comments about you, even in moments of rage. Another was that I’d always check on you when you seemed off, even if you had already told me a million times that you were fine. It wasn’t anything official - but just things I wanted to keep in mind. I just wanted to be good to you, because like I said, you’re important to me. You’re so important to me...” He trailed off, his feather light touch grazing over your cheek. He drew back a piece of stray hair, tucking it behind your ear.

Oh.

“(Y/n)? Can I get a head start on making it up to you?” He asked, his head inching closer as he held your gaze. 

Your mind reeled as you nodded once more, watching his eyes flick to your slightly open mouth.

God, is this really happening? 

His lips landed softly on yours, a trail of goosebumps traveling down to your chest. You felt the room spin around you, the colors on the walls melting into one large blur, all of your senses focused on Spencer and how his hands were gripping your hips tightly now. His kisses against your warm mouth were passionate and endearing, and the swarm of monarchs in your stomach never settled. You both reluctantly pulled away, staring at one another in awe. 

“It was the flowers, wasn’t it? Derek told me they would help.” 

🪄 harry potter universe

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just friends my foot!

warning(s): lowercase intended, fluff, inspired by true events, swearing, reader uses they/them pronouns, kissing, my flirting is not at all up-to-date sorry for that, this sucks i am so very sorry, not proof read

pairing(s): james potter x gryffindor!gender neutral!reader

summary: james and you are just friends, nothing more, right?

a/n: requested by @scandalous-chaos i hope i did justice darlin' <33 also this is to make up for the tears i apparently brought from reading the remus fic lmao enjoy peeps :))

taglist: @/scandalous-chaos

˚₊❏❜ third person ꒱

Friendship is one of the most powerful bond a person can have. Those who have trustworthy friends are fortunate. A friendship is a committed bond between two people who have a great deal of affection and concern for one another. Friendship brings us more joy than almost anything else in our life. Friendships have a significant impact on one's mental health and well-being.

Friends can help you relax and enjoy yourself by relieving tension and providing comfort and joy. A true friend's worth is immeasurable. It's more a matter of the heart than the intellect, and it should be left to the heart to make the decision rather than exposing it to the mind's scanner, which may occasionally go rogue and ruin friendships. Mutual trust is the foundation of true friendship.

james potter and (y/n) (y/l/n) have that friendship. they are inseparable and always have each other's backs. the amount of times (y/n) saved james' arse from detention and the amount times james brought (y/n) food from the kitchen in the middle of the night is uncountable.

they have the friendship which everyone is jealous of, wishes that they all had that kind of perfect friendship but are also so happy for the two because they both found someone both of them can blindly trust on and say anything to each other without the fear of being judged.

james and (y/n) did not need to word or speak out the love they both had for each other. it was always evident in the way they both spoke to each other, took care of or looked after each other, and the way they both would keep glancing at each other to make sure the other is doing okay; throughout the day.

the two best friends knew every little thing about each other and there were nothing but constant smiles and laughs exchanged when in each other's company. today is one of those normal days when james and (y/n) would constantly bicker and make everyone around them wish to disappear.

"what are you up to, gorgeous?" james said while slipping into the seat next to (y/n).

he slip his right arm around their shoulder and pulled them closer to his body; while doing so he sneaked a kiss on their cheek. (y/n) heard the voice before they felt him. they involuntarily smiled when their brain processed the fact the voice and the touch could belong to only one person.

(y/n) did feel weird that they have memorized how james' touch felt but then again the duo were a weird set of friends. there isn't day that has arrived when james and (y/n) haven't flirted or fought jokingly with each other. there hasn't a day which has arrived when (y/n) didn't think that what would life be if they hadn't met james? they do not think they'd survive any longer than one minute without james.

"hey, princess, you okay?" james called again, this time his voice held concern for his dearest friend.

"hmm?" (y/n) finally looked up at james' face and the time stopped for both of them.

none of them spoke. they stared at each other lovingly. their faces held nothing but pure adoration for each other. they just gazed into each other's eyes, yet again. no move was made by either of them, yet again. the unaware lovers did take no notice of their friends seated around them, slapping their forehead for the fifth time in the day, yet again. sirius, in particular, was ready to just push james face so that his lips could finally touch (y/n)'s lips and end his misery.

"just friends my foot," remus spoke and sirius nodded tiredly; everyone was honestly just irritated of the sexual tension between the two.

"what!?" james and (y/n) snapped their heads towards sirius.

"did you say something, rem? i'm sorry i wasn't paying attention," (y/n) spoke, innocence was heard in their voice: as if they had no idea what remus had said earlier.

"nothing. i said nothing, but you, oh you two sure need to." and dramatically remus walked out of the room while sirius smiled widely at him; his friend finally learnt to be dramatic!

"since when did remus steal sirius' job?" james joke earning a pillow hit right on his head.

james looked at his brother-from-another-mother with a loud dramatic gasp. "oh you wanna get fucked up huh."

with that an uncalled for pillow fight started between the two while (y/n) laughed, they laughed wholeheartedly at the two idiots being idiotic. james potter stoped hitting sirius with the pillow as soon as he heard the laugh. oh the laugh! it wasn't just any laugh, no. it was the laugh that james would do anything to hear. he loved that particular laugh of lovely (y/n); the laugh that was carefree, that came out naturally and no efforts were made to suppress it in any form.

james potter is whipped for (y/n) (y/l/n). and this means big trouble.

────────────── {⋆⌘⋆} ──────────────

"c'mon slowpoke, we have places to be!" remus called out.

"yeah ok fine quicksilver gimme a minute! not everyone is as fast as you," (y/n) said huffing as they tried to keep up with his pace; how did he get so fast anyway?

"by the way, everyone has been talking."

"about?"

"you and james," remus said with a smirk as he saw a wide smile spread across (y/n)'s face.

"what about me and james?"

"that you two are surely dating."

"WHAT?!-"

"hey voice low!"

"sorry! but what the fuck? that is so not true! how is everyone even thinking that? me and james? psst never! me and james are just friends, we are best friends. we are not dating! that would just make things weird and complicated, so yeah. eww, me and james, no never-"

"(y/n)! breathe, you are rambling sweetie," remus said, trying to hide his chuckle.

"oh. i'm sorry, i didn't mean to ramble. it's just that, the idea of, everyone thinks james and me are a thing which is not true at all-"

"do you want it to be true?" remus interrupted.

"i- i- what? of course not! i- no remus, no i do not want it to be true because we are best friends, we are just best friends. it will ruin our friendship and i cannot lose james, i dare not lose him. he's my world, my light in the darkness. i cannot lose him to something.. selfish. i can't, remmy, i can't."

it ached. it burnt and hurt to be in love with one's best friend. all those times when people would flirt with him and (y/n) could not do anything. it hurt more then he flirt back. every time they look at james, they reminded of how handsome he looks and how he is too good for them.

they are reminded of how he would never fall in love with his best friend because they are nothing compared to the people that flirt with him. as cherry on top, confession of the feelings might lead to the friendship being ruined which (y/n) could not afford at any cost.

"oh god you are whipped! (y/n), you are so so so in deep that you don't even realise it!"

"shut up remus."

"no i will not because it's true! and just so you know, james is head over heels for you too. it actually very sickening for us to watch you two so in love with each other but neither of you dares to make a move. you know the thing holding you both back from doing any thing is the same: you do not want to complicate things or ruin the friendship. but that won't be the case! please do something about it, james won't. he is a fucking coward and i want to slap him for it but you can! please do something i beg you," remus spoke with sincerity in his voice.

"you're not joking?"

"you numpty i do not joke on these things! i am fed up of the sexual tension please save me." [someone who did or said something silly/wrong/inappropriate]

"oh shut up, it ain't that bad."

"yeah sure."

────────────── {⋆⌘⋆} ──────────────

james was going crazy, definitely. well what did you expect? he hadn't seen his light in the darkness, (y/n), since lunch. his day was filled with classes and detention that prevented him from meeting the love of his life. finally, professor filius flitwick dispersed him from detention and james practically ran at lightening speed towards the great hall. when he did arrive there, he went straight to the gryffindor table, skipping towards it rather than walking normally.

"ello everybody!" james announced his arrival making his friends turn their heads to him.

"(y/n) isn't here don't show that happy face," sirius said, frowning.

"what's got to him?" james asked remus, confused.

"he almost had a civil conversation with regulus. he's feeling confused about it," remus explained, sighing.

"oh. well you should be happy, you are getting somewhere." james told sirius who huffed.

"why aren't you with (y/n)? where are they?" sirius asked because the duo really wasn't seen without the other.

"wait, they aren't with you guys? they are not here? they did not have dinner?" james was surprised. (y/n) always made sure to eat; are they alright? did something happen to them?

"we figured they were with you so we didn't bother."

"no i had detention today. oh my god, where could they have gone? what if something happened to them-"

"james, no. do not overthink this. they might be somewhere in hogwarts, safe and sound. you know them better than anyone else, you know where they could've gone. think."

"but they could've gone anywhere! how can i find (y/n) in fucking hogwarts? if you didn't know, mate, let me tell you, our school is fucking huge!"

"jesus calm down prongs you'll find them."

"try astronomy tower," remus spoke, casually, taking a sip from his drink.

"astronomy tower? why astronomy tower?" james was confused now; (y/n) would never pick astronomy tower over food. what is happening? but he listened to him anyway.

on the way to astronomy tower, james' mind wondered about things more likely about a specific person. a few weeks had passed since james' realised his romantic feelings towards his best friend. he had still not come terms with the fact but he was trying. it shouldn't honestly be that difficult because well, it's (y/n) we are talking about.

now that he thinks of it, he can never truly put into words how gorgeous (y/n) is. they are a beautiful person inside out. their appearance is no doubt breath-taking but their personality is heart-catching. the way (y/n) is caring towards everyone but will, with no hesitation, hex you if you try to bully or annoy her friends especially. james could look at them do whatever for the whole day without can complains from him. he is whipped.

their laugh is one of the most beautiful sounds he've ever heard. they make cheesy jokes, but then laughs at themselves as if it's the funniest thing they's ever heard. james worries that if he doesn't talk to them at least once a day, he'll start jumping and becoming anxious. But then he does speak with them, and everything fades away. he is sure their voice is very melodic and soothing. he could sit and listen to them for hours.

finally james reaches the astronomy tower, not that he did realise that - he almost went past it. he climbs the staircase with anxious, cautions, unsure yet confident, huge and hurried steps. he doesn't know what to expect but how bad can it be? it's only his best friend right?

"(y/n)? what are you doing here?" james spoke, softly but enough for them to hear it.

suddenly hearing a human voice, (y/n) jumped in shock. but nonetheless, they managed to decipher whom the voice belonged to. they could recognise the voice anywhere under any given circumstances.

"james! don't scare me like that again," (y/n) said with a hand on their chest.

"sorry love, didn't mean to scare ya." james walked towards the love of his life and pulled them into a hug.

"i know jamie," (y/n) replied, resting their forehead on james' chest.

they both just stayed their, holding each other, standing, and swaying slightly. both of them adored the position. they both wished they could just stay in the position forever and the time would just stop. but sadly, that wasn't possible. even magic couldn't go that.

"why are you here dove?" james asked while pulling away to see their face.

"just wanted some fresh air," (y/n) replied vaguely.

james cupped their face in his hands and looked at them carefully. "princess is something wrong? did-did i do something?"

(y/n)'s eyes widen. "oh no james, no no. no you could never jamie."

"then what is it, darling? you never pick anything over food, you love food! what is it my love? is there anything i can do to help?" james asks with sincerity and concern in his voice and facial expressions.

(y/n) looked gazed into james' appealing eyes. (y/n)'s eyes tried to find something, as if to peek - or even explore if given permission - into the soul of their love of life. they are trying to find something that would tell them that james cannot be trusted with the information about to be told to him. of course they found but in cases of love, one does become wary.

"jamie?"

"yes my love?"

"do you promise that, no matter what happens, our friendship will never be affected and we would remain the same always?"

"of course darling but why is this, where is this coming from? as anyone told you anything? tell me their name i will hex them. do not believe a word they say, (y/n/n), they are just jealous pieces of shit-"

(y/n) didn't let him finish; they could not resist any longer. (y/n) pressed their lips to his into a kiss. james is surprised, is an understatement but he is quick to respond. he snaked his arms around their waist and pulled them closer to him. (y/n) sat their arms on his neck. the kiss conveyed the feelings deeply buried by the lovers perfectly. the kiss broke when the lovers needed to catch their breaths. however, none of them pulled away from each other. they rested their foreheads against each other's.

"so this was a plan?" james asked, still trying to regain his breath.

"took you long enough to notice," (y/n) replied with a smirk.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

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Bedtime Cosplay - Zach Wellison as The Mandalorian

Notes: This is the second installment of the Bedtime Cosplay series. It turned out much sweeter than I anticipated, with much LESS smut than I had planned on - but I love how it turned out. Enjoy

Summary: Zach has a new job. He dresses up as The Mandalorian to visit sick kids at the hospital his roommate also works at. When he comes home and overhears a phone conversation you have with your best friend, parts of his costume are put to good use

Fandom: Pedro Pascal Fandom - The Mandalorian (Star Wars) and Brothers&Sisters Pairing: Zach Wellison (as Din Djarin) x Reader Warning: NSFW, Mentions of Sex, Roommates to Lovers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff - 18+ content bye bye minors Rating: 18+ Adults only

**

Part 2: Zach Wellison as The Mandalorian

Sometimes, when you had a nightshift at the hospital ahead of you, you were still sleeping when Zach came home in the evening. When he put the key into the lock he was extra careful not to make any noise.

He had his helmet under his arm and tried to move as silently as possible with the fake beskar on his chest and the costume on.

Silently closing the door, he heard that he could have opened the door the normal way. It sounded like you were on the phone with your best friend on speaker, rummaging around the kitchen.

Before he could call out though, he heard:

“… not funny at all, Valerie! It’s bad enough that I have sexdreams about my roommate! But now I have dreams about him as The Mandalorian?! I am so screwed.”

That was a sentence certainly not meant for him – as he was the roommate you were referring too. His body rigid, knowing that it was wrong to eavesdrop, he stopped moving and tried to keep his breathing under control.

“Oh please”, Valerie said on the other line. “I bet you a hundred bucks that he has had sexdreams about you too!”

“That is not the point and you know it. I like him – a lot! And you know I can’t tell him. It would ruin things.”

“You don’t have to tell him you like him. You just tell him you have sexy dreams about him and let him rail you into that expensive mattress of yours.

“Val!”

“What? I bet if you ask him nicely he’ll even do you in that costume of his.”

Zach looked down on himself, blushing furiously. He had noticed the looks you had given him, thought it was just due to the fact that you were a big fan of The Mandalorian.

And yes, Valerie was right. He had been dreaming about you. But he harbored the same concerns as you. He didn’t want to ruin the friendship that had blossomed between the two of you.

“And how do you suppose I pose that question to him?”, you continued. “Hey Zach. I’ve been dreaming of you in that beskar uniform fucking me senseless. Would you mind taking care of my nether regions? Oh and by the way, our landlord called and said he’ll need another day to come and fix our toilet?!”

Silently opening the door again and stepping out, Zach made as much noise as possible when re-entering, so you could hang up on your friend. It was horrible enough that he knew your secret now. He did not have the right no hear anymore.

“Hey there, I’m home!”

He heard you cut the call hurriedly and you appeared in the door to the kitchen, still in your pyjamas – a skimpy boxershort and a Mandalorian T-Shirt.

Putting up a pretend-confused look, he watched your outfit and then said: “Shoot, I forgot you had the nightshift tonight. I should not have called out.”

You smiled – that disarming smile he had fallen for months ago. Knowing now that you wanted what he wanted as well made his heart beat harder and faster in his chest.

“Don’t worry. I made a snack for my break. Just got up thirty minutes ago. Want some? I made way too much.”

It was your usual routine. You always made a little extra food to make sure he wouldn’t starve.

“Let me just get changed, I’ll be right there.”

Only a minute later Zach appeared in the kitchen, wearing a grey shirt and sweatpants.

“How was work?”, you asked, putting a sandwhich in front of him, making his stomach growl.

“It was good. The kids at the hospital are going crazy when I show up in this costume. Makes them forget their cancer or whatever they’re up against for a little while.”

You smiled at him.

“I told you so. I’m just sad we can’t offer you more money for this.”

Zach shrugged.

“I’m not even mad. A job is a job. Getting more hours would mean that there’s more sick kids to entertain. It’s a trade I’m willing to make.”

As he tried to pick up the sandwhich, Zach noticed that he was still wearing the gloves from his costume. The orangy-yellow tips on the leather gloves and the cheap metal design with the blue triangle on them had started to feel like a second skin to him.

But now they gave him an idea. He knew your secret – now he had to be brave.

Abandoning his food, he got up and stood behind you where you were still standing at the kitchen counter, putting away food.

You didn’t have a chance to react when you felt him against your back, because he caged you in. He put his still gloved hands on your hips, pulling you against his chest.

“Have I ever told you-“, he mumbled, his breath against your ear, tickling the sensitive skin. There was no way that you couldn’t feel his heart hammering against his chest – but he soldiered on. Now or never. “- how incredibly cute you look wearing nothing but pyjamas?”

Zach could feel you swallow and suddenly he had the urge to kiss you. Turning you around by twisting your waist, he put one of his gloved hands under your shirt, caressing the skin of your lower back with the leather of the Mandalorians glove.

His other hand travelled from it’s place above your heart up your throat until it cradled your neck. Zach sought out your gaze and found your pupils dilated, your breath coming in short gasps.

“Tell me to stop and I will”, he murmured before leaning in, closing his eyes.

**

“Tell me to stop and I will.”

Your heart was racing a mile a minute, as if you had run a marathon.

What had gotten into Zach?

The gloves of his Mandalorian costume felt divine on your skin, but you were focused on his lips, his eyes that held a hunger and some kind of longing. And your heartstrings were pulled on hard.

You didn’t stop him – you were too stunned by the situation – so when his slightly chipped lips met yours and he started to caress them, you didn’t respond at first.

But as soon as you felt the leather of his gloves tickle your skin, the hand on your neck pulling you in closer, you let your eyes close and tentatively kiss back. Slowly, almost hesistantly, you put your hands on his chest and fisted his shirt, getting up on your tiptoes to get closer to him.

Permission was granted when you felt Zachs tongue begging for entrance and suddenly the kiss turned from sweet and innocent to longing and hot. But the second you could feel the fire ignite in your belly and his half hard cock against your thigh, you retreated, pushing him back slightly.

“Zach..”, you gasped. “Did… Did you hear what I said to Valerie earlier?”

Sighing, he said: “Yes. And I’m glad I did.”

“W-What? Why?”

Zach cradled your head in his gloved hands then, leaning is forehead against yours, his gaze never leaving yours. “Because I am a coward. If I hadn’t heard you say that you dream of me too, I would have never had the guts to kiss you.”

“W-wait.. You- You dream about-“

“Having sex with you? Oh yes.”, he smirked. “But as much as I would love to ravish you right now, I think we should take things slow. I-“

“Yes?”, you asked.

“I don’t want this to be a one time thing. And I like my job, but I think having sex in a Mandalorian costume is not very practical for our first time.”

You blushed all kinds of red, the blood racing to your face. Zach laughed and gave you another chaste kiss before he stepped back.

“Think about it? We can talk about it tomorrow. You have to get ready for work.”

Zach had to suppress the urge to hop in the shower with you as you prepared for work.

But he had told the truth. He didn’t want this to be a one time thing.

And yes –having sex as the Mandalorian was a damn hot thought – but he much preferred having you say his name when you fell apart under him, and not Din Djarin.

 **

Notes: Part Three? Marcus Pike as a DEA agent called Javier ;)

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hawks x reader

fake dating to lovers trope

brief mentions of getting drunk

"I need you to go out with me."

Your mouth hung open dumbly as Hawks repeated his statement. So you didn't hear him wrong. You sighed as you leaned back on your desk, pinching the bridge of your nose as you felt yet another headache brewing behind your eyes.

"What is it this time?"

His face broke into a relieved smile as he let out the breath he was holding. Sometimes you wished he was holding his breath around you for a different reason.

"Ok so it's this hero gala in a couple of week and the commission is on my ass..."

/

You and Keigo had been friends for years. You were assigned to him as a fledgling but promising publicity agent by the hero commission and from there, had actually become close friends with the winged hero. Sure, sometimes he could be a little childish, and his antics did get a little overwhelming when it came to smoothing them over to the press, but he was a sweet guy, and you were glad to know him. Of course, nothing could be that simple. Because as he'd climbed the hero ranks with you at his side managing all the details behind the scenes, you were slowly falling in love with him. You cursed yourself internally when you'd realized that you'd followed the kind of overused romance trope you'd laugh at with your friends when you were bored. But being mad about it didn't change the fact that you were, despite your best efforts to deny it, in love with your best friend.

This fact was made worse by the fact that as of late, Keigo had become a fan of a little habit that drove you wild: attending ridiculously lavish hero events on his arm to keep the press and the hero commission off his back for a little while. Every few months or so, when people once again started whispering and the fan girls started throwing themselves at him again, he'd ask you for yet another favor and, because you were hoping that maybe one day he'd ask you for real, you kept saying yes. He was confusing as hell, texting you good morning and goodnight each day, making fun of you for the time you'd woken up completely hungover in his apartment after getting dumped, and throwing you the kind of glances that made romance movie covers, the ones that seemed way too sweet to be between two friends. But you weren't an idiot. You knew people flirted with their friends for fun all the time, and it certainly wouldn't be out of character for Keigo to do the same. And plus, you'd seen him turn away a myriad of girls far more suited for him than you before. You recalled once you'd woken up to a particularly nasty headline everywhere after he'd turned down an American supermodel who he'd been getting cozy with. Yeah. He was out of your league. It was easier to just enjoy the times you could pretend he saw you in a different light.

So two weeks later, you did your makeup, zipped yourself into a sweeping dress that hung off your body perfectly, afforded by your considerable paycheck, fastening your favorite pair of heels against your ankles before swinging the door open just as Keigo was about to knock. His hand, still raised and poised to come down onto the wood of your door, fell as he took you in. For a second, he forgot how to breathe, how to speak, how to do anything but admire you. You couldn't tell, but he felt as if his heart had suddenly risen up and settled in the hollow of his throat. Your lips were pouty and red as the feathers that ruffled behind him, eyes accented with black ink like his were. Somewhere, he was aware of an odd strangled noise leaving his throat, saw your head dip as you laughed a little. God, he loved you laugh. But he was already late, and he needed to get going. So he offered you his arm and you stepped out together, heart beats quickening in tandem at the contact.

/

The bright lights flashed against your eyes, the people all around you glimmering like the stars outside. On the steps of the hall, media and press reps were crowded around like hordes like vultures, circling and watching for the latest and greatest in hero society to arrive. You'd only just made it inside, after a good chunk of time letting your mind wander as those same cameras were trained on you, the only clear thought in your mind being Kiego's hand on your waist, warm and solid as he guided the two of you away from the fray. He'd vanished into the crowd in favor of finding you to something to drink, leaving you to find a fairly secluded table to sit and rest. Only 10:30 and your feet were aching. You watched the people around you dance to the waltz music echoing from the string quintet at the front of the room, moving in calculated circles as the lights from the chandelier swathed the scene in blushing pink and shades of burnished sunrise.

Keigo appeared at your side once again, a glass of champagne bubbling in his hand. He offered the delicate glass to you, which you took with a grateful smile. Suddenly, you had an idea, one that you were sure would leave you reeling for days after if he said yes. Pulling him down gently until his ear was by your lips, you whispered to him your query. He tried and failed to mask the slight shiver than ran the length of his spine as you did, nodding and taking your hand once you'd released your hold on his tie.

Dance with me?

Carefully, he stepped tentatively onto the floor, hand once again on your waist with the other clasping your hand. This time, it was your turn to shiver as his warm skin radiated heat onto your own, flushing under the soft lighting as a new song began. Gently but surely, Keigo began to guide the two of you along to the rhythm of the romantic waltz, eyes never leaving yours as you spun along with the other pairs on the marbled floor, skirts flaring and jewelry flashing on necks and wrists and fingers as the music warbled on. Song after song passed and the two of you kept on, your movements sweeping and enchanting, decadent and sweet as rose colored candy and sugar dusted lips. The hours ticked by, sweat beading your brow as you ignored the growing pain in your feet, Kiego starting to worry for you as he noticed your flush spreading from your cheeks down to your neck, your chest heaving as you kept on. Part of you wanted to stop, yes, but it didn't overpower your need to be close to him. Focusing even more on the solid feeling of his body on yours, you pushed past the whirling in you head, the blood pounding away in your ears, the color that were blending together and oh- when did it get so hot?

That was your last thought before you collapsed, falling to the ground as your legs gave way underneath you. It was all your frazzled partner could do to get you out of the crowded room, saying hurried goodbyes on your behalf as well as his own before finding a secluded balcony and taking off with you in his arms. As much as he liked to play around and make things harder for you sometimes, there was no way he was about to put you through the media circus of the paparazzi catching the number two hero whisking some unknown woman away into the night. You'd probably scold him for it anyway, told him people would get the wrong idea, that he should've sent you home with someone, called a car, anything to preserve his image as a carefree playboy. He knew he needed to project a certain image as part of his success. But part of him really wished he could just kiss you in broad daylight and not care for once, what other people would say.

He landed on the balcony of your apartment and pulled at the sliding glass door, praying it'd be open. It was. He sighed in relief as he came inside your home, placing you gently on your sofa before going to get you a glass of water. He'd always told you not to leave your back door unlocked, what if someone got in? You'd reply that if he needed you, he knew your door was always open. And plus, you lived high enough that you felt sure no one was about to go scaling the building just to get to you. When he returned, he found you rubbing your eyes, a look of vague confusion on your face. When you caught sight of him, that confusion changed into horror as you quickly started pushing him towards the door.

"You can't be here," you huffed, body feeling slow and limbs heavy as your friend simply picked you up again and sat you down. "You need to get back to that party! Oh god if anyone saw you leaving I-"

He pressed the glass of water to your lips and held it there until you swallowed, the cool liquid wetting your dry lips and soothing your throat.

"Relax," he murmured, "I covered all the bases. I even left out the back so no one saw. Trust me, you're fine. Now I'm just free to hang here with you. Now how about you get out of those clothes and we just watch a shitty movie, yeah? I think you need it."

You couldn't deny that sounded more than appealing. Nodding, you rushed into your room, cleaned the makeup off your face and slipped on your pajamas before heading back to your living room where Keigo had opened Netflix on your TV.

"Remind me I gotta change the password on that account. You're the number two hero for god's sake, you can afford your own Netflix account."

Settling in beside him, you stared into nothingness as the movie played, feeling the heat of someone else beside you and relishing it. With a muffled hmph he pulled you in so that you were practically laying on top of you, your ear pressed against his chest so you could hear his thundering heart. You tilted your head up so your chin was resting on his chest instead only to find his golden eyes staring into yours. He looked away, the blush on his cheeks noticeable even in the dim lighting. Bringing you hand up to his cheek, you guided his eyes back to you until the both of you were only inches apart, tv flickering across your faces. You were hyper aware of the compromising position you were in, that this was not something one did with their best friend.

"What is it," you asked softly, the breath leaving your lips ghosting softly over Keigo's skin.

"Nothing," he replied, voice soft and quiet, as if he was afraid if he spoke too loudly he'd scare you off. The both of you were moving as if you were approaching a skiddish animal instead of the person you'd grown closest to over the years. Under you, Keigo almost couldn't believe that this was real. You really were here, pressed against him, your warm skin on his own after you'd danced for hours under a golden ceiling, with your eyes gazing into his own and your lips- oh those lips- slightly parted as you nibbled nervously on the soft skin of the lower one. "Nothing," he repeated, "you're just pretty. It's nice to look at you."

You laughed a little, as if you didn't believe him. He scrunched up his nose, as if he was offended.

"I mean it," he insisted. "You're gorgeous! And besides that, you're just amazing. I can't tell you how many girls I've tried to be with hoping I'd find the one that would make me forget how much I-" he cut himself off, but as your curiosity had been peaked, you weren't about to just let that go. A flicker of hope began to spark deep in your gut. Was he about to..

"How much you wanted to," you questioned, begging him with your eyes to tell you. He never could say no when you looked at him that way.

"How much I wanted to do something like this," he finished.

And then his lips were on yours.

His lips were on yours and your fingers were trailing up through his hair, nose slipping against his as he tilted his head to deepen the soft kiss. You saw stars behind your eyes and felt all the things romance movies had taught you didn't really exist. Only they did. They had to. Because you were feeling them right now. There, with only the two of you as witnesses, you gave your hearts to one another whether it had been known or not. For once, you weren't at all worried about what people would think, about how hard it would be to navigate this new territory. For once, the two of you simply were, letting the night pass as you sat in your hideaway or sweet kisses and the warmth of someone you loved next to you as you fell asleep to the rising sun.

/////

I had so much fun writing this and part of me was tempted to make it more of a slow burn but I wanted that ending so here you go! I hope you enjoyed reading this, and if you did, feel free to check out my other fics. Likes, reblogs, comments and asks are always welcome <3

going from reading filthy smut to the most tooth rotting fluff in .05 seconds

Heyyy, prompt request please??

A feysand best friend au where they have been friends for years and one day fey accidentally gives him a kiss on the neck and Rhys is like??? Talk of real feelings 🌹🌹

Hello lovely! I love friends to lovers fics, thank you so much for sending me this prompt! I had so much fun with it that I ended up writing two parts! Here's Part I and Part II will be out on the weekend. This fic is also 100% inspired by Taylor Swift songs <3

Read on AO3

Word count: 3,757

Part I:

The silence was too much.

As Feyre sat on her bed, looking around her dark room, much emptier than it had been when she’d woken up that day, she thought the silence felt too incriminating.

People were supposed to feel more than numb relief after a breakup. She should be on her bed, heartbroken and sobbing, but she felt… nothing. Not exactly happiness, just indifference.

She stared at the square shaped patch of wall that was too white compared to its surroundings, the outline of a wardrobe that had sat there for years. Had it been two full years? Or just under? Feyre thought it was pathetic she couldn’t remember.

When she’d come home last night, something had just… snapped. Feyre couldn’t place what had done it, exactly. There was just something about the emotional transition between being out with Rhysand and their friends and coming home. One moment of pure elation to this sudden bleak disappointment when she’d stepped through the door. She couldn’t place what was making her unhappy, but there was something wrong. Something missing.

She’d taken one look at Tamlin, lounging on the sofa in his boxers, and told him it was over. No, it wasn’t about the full laundry bin she’d asked him to wash while she was out. No, it wasn’t about the dirty dishes in the sink. No, it wasn’t anything he’d done.

Her lack of explanation had been infuriating to him, but what Feyre couldn’t articulate was that she felt equally infuriated by it.

There was just something in their relationship she’d been searching for, had been fumbling blindly to reach for it, and last night Feyre realized it was never there and it never would be. Whatever “it” was.

Tamlin had moved out the next morning, wasting no time packing up his things, petty enough to take trivial items he’d paid for, like their toothpaste and handsoap. But even the mild inconvenience wasn’t enough to make Feyre feel anything. How long had she felt so emotionally disjointed from him? Had it always been like this?

Whatever went wrong in their relationship, staring at the empty spaces in her apartment was going to do Feyre no favors. Breakups were a time to be emotionally reckless and do stupid shit with your best friends. So Feyre blindly reached for her phone and texted the only person who would know exactly what she needed, probably better than Feyre did.

Tamlin and I broke up last night.

The response was immediate.

Are you ok????

Feyre didn’t know how to explain that she was more than okay, and that was exactly the issue.

I’m fine, she replied.

I’m on my way. Is he there now?

No, he moved out this morning.

It took half an hour for the knock on her door to arrive, longer than Feyre thought it would take, but she supposed the news of a breakup had been rather sudden.

The door swung open to Rhysand, looking impeccable as always in his black sweater and jeans, a navy overcoat left open and falling to his mid-thigh. The only spot of color on him was in the cream-colored scarf draped around his neck, a gift Feyre had gotten for him last winter to encourage him to wear lighter clothes. She smiled at the sight of it. Though he wore the scarf often, the transition to wearing anything but black and blue clothing hadn’t quite taken.

Rhys immediately pulled her into a hug and Feyre relaxed into him, letting the familiar salt and citrus scent of him soothe her anxieties. Whatever was broken in her, whatever oddity that had led to this empty, unnamed dissatisfaction in her relationship, she could pretend it didn’t exist when Rhysand was around. He always made her feel better.

“Are you alright? What do you need?” he breathed into her hair as he pressed her close. She could feel his hands rubbing soothing circles into her back, warm and pleasant. Always such a mother hen.

“I’m fine, Rhys.” She pulled away to meet his eyes so he could read her earnesty. “Really. All I need is some fun—a distraction.”

Those lovely violet hues were glistening with concern beneath his thick eyelashes—which Feyre had always been massively jealous of. After he thoroughly assessed her, perhaps seeing that she wasn’t going to collapse in a fit of sobs, Rhys offered her his signature wicked smile.

“Then allow me the pleasure of distracting you.”

He offered Feyre his elbow, which she gladly looped her arm through. She didn’t know where they were going, but she trusted Rhys implicitly.

Together they clambered into his car and Rhysand wasted no time putting on Taylor Swift, offering Feyre a sly grin before he put the car into drive. Between Feyre, Mor, and his sister, Rhys had been through enough second-hand breakups to know exactly what was needed.

Feyre commandeered his phone to skip all the songs about falling in love, scream-singing to every heartbroken song she could find. Feyre thought that maybe she could live vicariously through the music to feel that anguish she couldn’t quite touch. Maybe it would be enough to alleviate the guilt.

Rhysand let her get it out of her system, occasionally screaming along to the lyrics he knew. He was mostly indulging her, she knew, but she felt no less smug to see how many Taylor Swift songs he’d memorized out of pure proximity to Feyre.

Occasionally glancing away from the road to look at her, Rhys laughed when he caught the expression on her face. “Do you expect me to be ashamed for knowing all the lyrics to We Are Never Getting Back Together?”

“Oh not at all,” Feyre said with a smirk. “If anything, I was having a proud-best-friend moment.”

“With the amount of times you and Mor have played that song after the slightest infringements with your boyfriends, it’d be more remarkable if I hadn’t memorized the words.”

“Poor you,” Feyre teased. “Always having to endure our theatrics. It must be so hard being the only civilized one among us.”

Rhys was grinning as he stared ahead, watching the road with a level of caution only he was capable of. Mor always teased him for driving like a grandmother, but Feyre knew he only drove that way when people he loved were in the car. And she knew that because she’d been the person he’d called when he’d flipped his car taking a turn onto a dirt road too fast. She’d been dumbfounded to hear the most careful driver she knew had gotten into such a reckless accident, but Rhys had bashfully admitted to her that he drove like a bat out of hell when he was alone.

“I’m pleased you recognise my plight, Feyre,” he teased as he made the turn into a drive thru, ordering them each a coffee.

Feyre half-heartedly eyed the dashboard clock, which read 11:58. “Coffee at this hour?”

“Who am I to stand in the way of tradition, Feyre darling?” he asked, extending one of the cups to her.

With raised brows, she accepted the cup, feeling the warmth of it bleed through the paper, stinging her palms. Somehow, the near-pain felt good. Felt alive. “We haven’t done this in years.”

It was a tradition when they were in high school together, two kids wanting to escape their home life by driving around aimlessly for hours, drinking caffeine like it was water. Back then Feyre had thought she could pretend the jitters were endorphins tricking her brain into thinking it was happy. In some ways it had worked, but she was sure it had less to do with the coffee and more to do with the company. Sometimes she and Rhys would stay out all night, stargazing with the trunk open in the back of his car until they fell asleep.

Rhys intended on revisiting more than just the coffee-aspect of that tradition. Because as they kept driving, Feyre quickly began recognizing the familiar dirt roads leading up to their old stargazing spot. She looked at him in disbelief, but he was grinning.

“I hear there’s going to be a meteor shower tonight. You picked a good day to need a distraction.”

“Pointing out that I need a distraction kind of takes away from the, you know, distracting.”

He laughed, as if entirely unaffected by the jibe. Feyre craned her neck to peer out the window, catching only a small glimpse of the night sky. She scowled to find he was watching her when she glanced back, hating the way his eyes sparkled with amusement, those captivating silver flecks almost reflecting in the moonlight.

“Eyes on the road, grandma,” she said, poking out her tongue at him.

He shook his head at the nickname, which really only Mor used. “Careful. I’m fully capable of driving this car off this cliff. That would surely make an adequate distraction.”

“The criteria was a fun distraction,” Feyre argued. “So you’d certainly be failing your mission.”

Rhysand put the car in park as they arrived at their destination. He looked to Feyre slowly, pointedly. As if pausing for dramatic effect. “Sometimes falling can be fun. Don’t you think, Feyre darling?”

Feyre rolled her eyes. She didn’t know what he meant, didn’t really want to think about it. Rhys had a gift for making cryptic points, and she didn’t have the energy for it today. So instead she reached for the handle and fumbled out of the car, landing not too gracefully on the dirt path.

Rhys chuckled, already there. Already putting his hands on her shoulders to steady her. Feyre had no idea how he moved so fast, always impossibly lithe and graceful.

Shaking away his help, Feyre straightened and wrapped her fingers more securely around the coffee she’d miraculously managed not to spill. It was her lone source of warmth against the brisk autumn night, her thin navy sweater not quite enough to fight off the chill.

It took one look at the way she was clutching her drink for Rhysand to pull his overcoat off and drape it over her shoulders, hushing her protests before they could properly form on her lips.

“You are such a mother hen,” she complained, but she was smiling at him gratefully.

Rhys shrugged as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Freezing to death is distracting, but not exactly fun. I have a duty to fulfill. I can’t be thwarted this close to the finish line.”

“Oh? You seem very confident about this meteor shower.”

With a devious smile, Rhys held up a finger as if to say wait a second, then disappeared back into the driver’s side of the car. A second later, Taylor Swift was playing once more, and then he was pulling her towards the trunk.

In one gallant motion, the door opened to reveal that Rhysand had transformed the back of his car into a cozy den, the seats pushed down to accommodate a nest of blankets and pillows. Tucked to the side was a box full of her favorite snacks and candies, an errant sketchpad with colored pencils, and surrounding the interior were battery-operated fairy lights that glowed to life as Rhys switched them on.

“Surprise,” he purred at her side.

Feyre smiled at him as she climbed inside, nestling herself against one of the pillows. “I’ll admit, you’re pretty good at this.”

“I do have almost a decade of Feyre Archeron experience,” he declared proudly, sliding in beside her.

“How much of this was Mor’s doing?” Feyre countered.

Rhys laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You can’t ever let me have my moment, can you? If you must know, Mor helped with the lights and supplied a blanket. The rest was my doing, you little fiend.”

Feyre delicately set her coffee aside so that she could sort through the box of snacks, pulling out her favorite of the lot.

She felt a nudge at her shoulder, accompanied by a source of warmth that pulsed through her with such ferocity it made her breath catch. Feyre glanced, perhaps a bit too hastily, towards Rhysand. He seemed entirely unaffected, oblivious to whatever electricity they’d just exchanged as he nodded towards the door. Had it really just been a brush of shoulders?

“Look up,” he prompted.

He’d parked deliberately at an incline, so that the open trunk was angled toward the expanse of sky above them. Out this far, there was no light pollution, so as Feyre looked up she could see the whole of the milky way above them.

The sight always took her breath away.

No matter how many times she tried to recreate it, she could never capture the humbling, numinous presence of the stars. It was always such a sobering reality check, to look up at the nebula of space and realize she was such a small, insignificant speck in the grand scale of the universe.

Rhys started chuckling beside her, a deep, rumbling sound that she seemed to always feel like a spark in the pit of her stomach.

“What?” she asked, turning to him.

“I forgot how serious you get when we go stargazing.”

Despite being used to being teased by Rhys, as had always been the nature of their relationship, Feyre felt her cheeks heat up. “Oh, shut up,” she said, hating the ways his eyes lit up in pleasure that she’d taken the bait. “If anything, I feel like I have a right to be serious tonight.”

That seemed to immediately subdue whatever witty remark had been on his tongue. She watched his face soften, that concern ebbing back into those violet eyes that looked so like the night sky she’d just been admiring. Except those stars in his eyes had never made her feel small. Never inconsequential, not to him.

“Hey, c’mere,” he murmured, patting the space next to him. Feyre settled into his side, allowing him to slide his arm around her shoulder as they watched the stars fall overhead. His warmth seeped through her coat, coaxing her to relax, to let go. She let his comforting presence wash over her, soothing the parts that felt numb. This was how it should feel, she thought. Easy, content, tranquil. The way she felt around Rhys was proof that it was possible. Maybe she wasn’t broken, maybe she’d just been trying to force a puzzle piece into the wrong spot.

At some point they began mapping their own constellations, using the sketchpad to scrawl their new shapes. They went through pages of connect-the-dot style animals, flowers, and anything else they could imagine.

“So that’s what’s under Orion’s belt, huh?” Feyre joked after Rhys drew a distinctly phallic shaped constellation.

He feigned at being scanaldized. “I was trying to draw a cucumber, Feyre. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

She hummed noncommittally in disbelief, which encouraged an elbow nudge from Rhys. He’d taken the sketchpad back, trying to add details to make the cucumber look more convincing. Something about the concentration on his face was maddeningly endearing.

Feyre looked away, scanning back over the pages of doodles. She smiled to herself as she realized that her friend had truly cheered her up.

“Rhys?”

“Hmm?” He didn’t look up from the sketchpad, too focused on the drawing.

Feyre took the opportunity to lean in, wanting to kiss him on the cheek and express her gratitude for the effort he’d put in for her. But Rhys shifted abruptly, perhaps seeing her in his peripheral, which threw off Feyre’s trajectory so that her lips landed on his neck instead.

A kiss on the cheek between friends, that was easy to explain.

But kissing someone’s neck, unprompted?

Feyre tore herself away, mortified, stuttering to come up with an explanation under the weight of Rhysand’s startled gape.

“I-I… I didn’t mean—I wasn’t trying to…I was going to kiss you on the cheek, to say thanks.”

“Well…” Rhys seemed to be struggling for words as well. Rhys, who always had something clever to say. He cleared his throat. “Consider your gratitude received, then.”

Oh gods. He wasn’t even trying to tease her for it. What did that mean? Rhysand never passed up an opportunity to poke fun at her. How had she managed to make things so awkward with the one person she always felt comfortable around?

Feyre had fixed her eyes fiercely on the sky, wishing she couldn’t feel how hot her face was, knowing that her blush must be a furious shade of crimson. She couldn’t help feeling there was no coming back from this.

She could feel him watching her, those gentle eyes probably begging for some kind of explanation. But she had none. Sure, the kiss had been an accident, but she couldn’t bring herself to verbally dismiss it as nothing. A heavy silence fell over them with all the crushing weight of a freight train. She should probably say something, right? What was there even to say?

Eventually, Rhys cleared his throat. “So, what happened between you and Tamlin anyway?”

The change of subject felt too forced. The attempted casualness of his tone was ruined by the strain in his words. Feyre still couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“There’s not much to talk about,” she said shortly, busying herself with picking at a stray fabric of one of the pillows, trying her best to ignore the scrutiny in his gaze. “I got home last night and told Tamlin it was over. That’s all there is to it.”

“What—wait, you broke up with him? Last night, out of nowhere?”

She understood why he’d be confused. Feyre had been with him just last night, and from his perspective everything had been perfectly fine between her and Tamlin. She hadn’t mentioned anything being amiss because, truly, nothing had been. Nothing Feyre couldn’t articulate, at least.

But he was her best friend, and he was staring at her like he was expecting an explanation. If there was anyone she could attempt to be truthful to, it was him.

“I just… felt like something was missing. I can’t really explain it, Rhys. It’s just that I came home last night and felt so… disappointed to see Tamlin there.”

He snorted. Feyre tried not to let it bristle her, she knew Rhys had never been Tamlin’s biggest fan. She could tell he held his tongue from saying anything disparaging, which she appreciated. It was a strange dance, how they’d never quite acknowledged this tension around the topic of her relationship. It wasn’t just with Tamlin, it was with every boy she’d dated since high school. Feyre was pretty sure it came from a brotherly sense of overprotection.

But, sometimes, it seemed it bothered him more than he’d like to admit.

He hid it now as he always did, behind a cool smile that Feyre could always see behind. It was another thing they didn’t acknowledge, another routine where they pretended Feyre didn’t know he was always holding something back around her.

“You know, it’s funny. That’s almost exactly the same thing you said when you broke up with Issac.”

Feyre blinked, completely caught off guard. “I-what?”

“When you broke up with Issac, you said that it was because there was something missing. And you said the same thing when you ended things with Tarquin, too.”

“Tarquin?” Feyre repeated, dumbfounded. “Rhys, we were never even dating.”

“Right.” He gave her a pointed look. “Because you said he wasn’t what you’re looking for.”

She almost felt dizzy, head sent spinning by this unexpected veer in subject. Feyre tried not to, but she couldn’t help getting a little defensive at his tone, as if he were implying something obvious. “Okay, and what’s your point?”

Rhys gave her a slow once over. Feyre almost wilted under his gaze, afraid of what he was seeing that she herself didn’t understand. Finally, he sighed. “I guess I’m just asking, Feyre, what your expectations are. What are you looking for?”

Deflated by the question, Feyre slumped back into the pillows, burying her hands in her face. “I don’t know,” she groaned. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m setting my expectations too high. Maybe men like that just don’t exist.”

“Men like what?”

Men like you, she almost found herself saying. It surprised her, the way the words almost formed on her lips. She didn’t understand where it came from, or what it meant. Feyre had never thought about Rhys that way before… had she?

Feeling mortified, in equal parts by the accidental kiss and what she’d nearly just admitted, Feyre bolted out of the car, needing to put space between herself and that prying gaze so she could think.

“Feyre?” Rhys called to her, voice dripping with concern. He followed her, because of course he would. He always did. And because of his stupidly long legs, he caught up to her quickly.

He grabbed gently at her elbow. “Hey. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pressure you. We don’t have to talk about it.”

Feyre nodded stiffly, feeling incapable of words. She looked back up at the stars, letting their vastness consume her, tugging her away from thoughts of love. But the sparkling constellations just reminded her of Rhysand’s eyes, those stunning flecks of silver swimming in violet that always twinkled in amusement. Perhaps she found comfort in the night sky because she could always look to it and find her friend.

Feeling foolish, she shook off her earlier paranoia. She cherished Rhysand, of course she’d want to date someone who shared his qualities. That didn’t have to mean anything. Just like how kissing him on the neck didn’t have to mean anything.

“Can I spend the night at yours? I hate how… empty my place feels right now.”

He had an odd expression on his face, something between pain and frustration that was as confusing as the rest of the day had been.

“Of course,” he said, offering her that same easy smile that didn’t meet his eyes.

Feyre’s chest felt heavier than it had when they left. She didn’t understand what she’d said wrong, but she knew she was responsible for whatever was plaguing him. Was it more than just concern on her behalf?

“Can we go now?”

It seemed a better option than staying out with him in the wake of everything that had just exploded, from the kiss to the near admission. It was all too much for one night.

“Okay,” Rhys said at last, sounding defeated.

⟡⟡⟡

Taglist: @story-scribbler @cretaceous-therapod @arrowmusings @live-the-fangirl-life @feybaenc @imsecretlyaherondale-blog @tanvee1231 @feysandandnyxsworld

friends to lovers (part 2)

Silk, Spice and Everything Nice by wonce_km

cross my heart by serendiplini

your pretty, pretty makeup. by naturallyvante

of mosquito nets (and zero regrets) by CalicoChimmy

from yesterday, for tomorrow by pieces

my heart was built for you by pjm_prmise

La stagione delle arance by crimsongravedigger

Whenever He Calls My Name by pearlaquabomb

Never Not by minfics (orphan_account)

Lights, Camera, by busansfairies

teach me, love me by aphrodeity

30,000 foot view by pieces

Kids and Love by rebus

bndwboy by whenIseeUsmile

we kiss like lovers (and laugh like best friends) by jiimbles

the cat's in the bag by fatal (cumrich)

Wish You Were Here by orphan_account

love, the shoreline where you and i meet by serendiplini

Run Into Sin by eumorious

bone appétit by flitter

i glow pink in the night by fatal (cumrich), jonghyunslisterine

teach me how to pray, how to say your name by MyHope (CutesyMe)

Moves Like Magic by eumorious

The Ghosts That You Haunt by JessicaMDawn​​ Complete | Teen Rating | 11.1k

The first time Evan Buckley died, he was ten.

"Apparently that won me a ticket to ghost town, because I've been seeing them ever since."

Buck can see the recently dead. It's not as glamorous as people might think.

Recommend a Fic Masterlist of Recommended Fics

Poetry’s Dream~ Harry Styles

Having a British College Student was unusual for Harvard Universe. Even more unusual that he happened to be really passionate about poetry. They guessed a little change now and then wouldn’t hurt.

Paislee Ashton was a theater geek looking to make it big on Broadway. It had been her dream since a young child. Not even being half-blind in one eye stood in her way.

When Poet and Theater Geek collide, it’s like the heavens reopen again.

PROMPT: Stephen and Tony started as adversaries, slowly developing a mutual respect for one another before blooming into friendship. Both men have a crush on the other but are completely oblivious. Tony gets hurt in battle and afterwards Stephen demands he takes a look. The damage is fairly superficial, bruising, a mild concussion etc

Feeling horny from being the subject of Stephen's attentive doctoring, Tony decides to throw caution to the wind and say something like "You're not supposed to sleep with a concussion right? You gonna keep me up all night Doc?"

Despite knowing that sleep is actually advisable with a concussion, not to mention that being a terrible line, Stephen decides to let it slide this once in favour of fucking Tony Stark.

The Answer Is Already There by bwichimbap

pairing: jikook rated: m length: 5k

Jungkook likes to back-hug Jimin. The other members stage an intervention. There are feelings, and a seduction plan, and Jungkook in a towel. And, well, Jimin is only so strong.

admin's note: aaaaah, young love. such a beautiful thing. aaaaaaah pining love, what a wonderful thing. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH MUTUAL PINING WHERE BOTH OF THEM ARE SO MADLY IN LOVE AND NEITHER REALIZE IT LOVE WHAT AN EXTRAORDINARY THING. as you can possibly tell. i really enjoyed this.

friends to lovers never had a bad track. “scared i’ll ruin what we have” SLAPS. “friendship cuddles while secretly dying inside” BANGER. “teasing each other and holding eye contact for a little too long” KILLS ME. and don’t even get me STARTED on “screaming i love you in the middle of a heated argument.”

do you like friends to lovers because it’s a cute trope or because you’re desperate to be loved by someone who knows you inside out and would show up at your door at 2am in the morning to take you on a road trip while also packing your favorite snack and then kiss you good night as you snuggle up in their arms at some dingy motel while watching bad rom-coms which they hate because the characters doesn’t communicate with each other and communication is the most important thing in your relationship and the trope of rom-com women behaving erratically over an easily resolvable misunderstanding needs to die

listen I don’t discriminate... friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, enemies to friends to lovers, friends to enemies to lovers, as long as it ends in lovers i’m down with it all babey

enemies to lovers be like honey (derogatory) to honey (affectionate) and friends to lovers be like i love you (platonic) to i love you (romantic) and i am a complete sucker for both.

This is THE shipping dynamic and you can’t change my mind

white lies | jjk | m

— summary; in which Jungkook lies his way out of and into trouble. But he can’t tell white lies when it comes to you. 

— contents and warnings; smut, fluff, very minor angst, poor attempts at humor, athlete!jungkook x reader, childhood best friends, fake dating, idiots to lovers, far too many movie references, a tiny bit of jealousy, jk is a football/soccer player, mentions of alcohol and drugs, the catastrophic event that is a frat party, jk is kind of a himbo, so much sexual tension, mutual pining, a lot of touching, dirty talk, fingering, grinding, jk has a big dick, praise, body worship if you squint, unprotected sex (don’t.), pulling out, very mild possessiveness, mid-sex confessions, the L word…, Jungkook wants to fuck you in his team jacket because his tastes are very singular and you wouldn’t understand it 

— words; 13,3k

— author’s notes; I know what you’re thinking… and yes, every bad movie mentioned is real. Also, this is a self-aware cliche and 100% self indulgent. Have fun!

When people first found out that you and Jungkook were friends, you received a very predictable, repetitive sequence of reactions.

First came disbelief. It was the most comprehensible one, at least from your perspective, taking into consideration that you and Jungkook were completely different people. He was loud (sometimes too loud) and outgoing, probably knew at least ninety percent of the campus population by name and city of origin. Jungkook was warm, friendly, the type of guy that you’d confess all your worries to if given enough time. You, on the other hand, was more on the “colder” side — you weren’t as inviting with strangers, and didn't mind going through moments of awkward silence. Jungkook was a talker and you were a listener; he was a daydreamer and you were a brute realist: maybe that was why your friendship worked so well. But most people couldn’t really get it. 

Second came the questions — the doubts, the sideway glances, even a few bitter comments if you were unlucky enough. Jungkook had kind of a reputation when it came to sleeping around, so most people jumped to the conclusion that either you were his favorite plaything (which might have been the most offensive thing you’ve ever heard) or that you were simply the rare one he had friendzoned because he didn’t want to fuck you (a big runner-up to that prize). Eventually, though, you settled their anguishes simply by saying that you knew each other ever since you were kids. 

Which took you to the final phase: relief and acceptance. The ones who saw you as a threat instantly relaxed, and the ones who couldn’t understand why he would “waste his time” with “someone like you” quickly understood that it was a deep, innocent connection that he was just “too sweet to let go.” Obviously, that didn’t make you feel any better. 

Truth was, it was kind of hard being friends with Jungkook. Mostly because the boy casted a light so strong that it was almost impossible not to stay in his shadow, but also because you always felt like you had to justify your existence every time he chose you instead of anyone else. You were the person he ran to hug once his team won; you were the one he ditched other people for, just to hang out with you. It made you insecure. And, yeah, there was also the fact that you had been madly in love with him for some time now, but that was unimportant. 

Well, until he asked you to be his (fake) girlfriend, that was. 

Jungkook, bless his heart, was never one of the brightest when it came to real-life situations. He could ace a test with no issue, but, when it came to reading the room, he was a lost cause — something a bit paradoxical when you realized how social he was, but, well, people probably thought his cluelessness was adorable. And that might also be the reason why he never caught onto your pathetic crush, but that was a different topic. 

“Why the fuck would I do something like that?” You munched on your chips, eyes flickering over the TV screen. The two of you had made the terrible decision to hatewatch all the bad shark-themed movies you could find, and now you were suffering the brain-smoothing consequences. “Sounds like the dumbest plan in the world. And I don’t understand what you’d get out of that.” 

He whined, throwing his head back against the couch. Jungkook had been trying to convince you for half a movie now, and he was running out of arguments. “I told you already,” he stressed, eyes locked to the white ceiling. With the living room completely immersed in shadows, the shades of blue and yellow from the television reflected off his face like a prism. “The boys have been teasing me because I could never hold a date.” 

“And? That’s your problem.” You looked at him, meeting his desperate stare. “And, honestly, why did you even lie about it? It’s true, you know it.” 

“You’re cruel.” Jungkook tugged the bag of chips off your hands, ignoring your complaints. “I have my reasons.” 

You laughed. “Yeah, what is it again? Waiting for the right person?” You teased, watching as his frown only deepened, his cheeks puffed out as he angrily chewed. “Come on, Cinderella, snap out of that fairy tale. Have you stopped to think how many nice girls you let go because of that stupid mindset?”

“It’s not stupid,” he murmured, clearly irritated. 

With a sigh, you shrugged. “Fine. It’s not.” You yanked the bag of chips away from him, slightly sad that it was almost finished. Unfortunately, your marathon had made you eat a lot more junk food than your body could probably handle, but that was a problem for the future you. Present you really wanted more chips. “I’m just bitter.” 

“We can agree on that.” He smirked, a devilish glint in his eyes that prepared you for the worst. “What was it that those guys called you in high school?”

You pointed at him. “Don’t,” you warned. 

But his smirk only grew, morphing into a full-blown (dazzling) smile. “Ice queen?” Jungkook tried. 

You rolled your eyes, sinking into the couch. “It’s a dumb nickname, shut up,” you groaned, trying to focus on the shitstorm that unreveled on the television. There was a priest trying to exorcise the ghost of a demon shark, and that was a thousand times more interesting than recalling the nightmare that was high school. “It got even worse when Frozen came out.” 

“Still gets to you, though.” Jungkook poked you on the shoulder, allowing himself one last laugh at your distress before striking once again. “So… wanna help me?” 

Yeah, like that would have magically changed, you thought. “I already said no.”

Jungkook leaned forward, pressing his forehead against his palms. He was in anguish, but you couldn’t feel that sorry when he had caused that himself. “But I already told them we were dating,” he whined, defeated. 

“Again, sounds like a you problem,” you said, throwing the empty bag of chips on the coffee table. “Just say that you panicked and made some shit up. Own up to it, you’re already a grown up.” 

Jungkook shook his head. “I can’t, they’ll never believe me again.” 

You sighed, crossing your arms. “Dragging this out won’t make it any better. You should tell them the truth,” you said, pausing for an instant. “Actually, I can’t see this ending well in, like, any possible scenario. Even Doctor Strange had better odds in Infinity War.” 

The fact that you liked Jungkook was the key point that he didn’t have access to, but that was very clear inside your head. Even in the best possible outcome, in which no one doubted a single thing and everything magically went back to normal, you’d still have to live with that weight inside your chest. Sounds pretty fucking painful to pretend to be someone’s girlfriend when you were almost considering selling your soul to turn that into a real situation. And then to be done with it like it wasn’t nothing more than a business transaction, or a platonic favor for a good friend... that would just suck, to put it lightly. 

Sadly, Jungkook wouldn’t give up so easily. “What if we, like, only do it tomorrow night?” He pressed on, turning to take a better look at you. He always looked so breathtaking, his gorgeous big eyes just staring at you like a cute dog pleading for a piece of meat. You could sense yourself starting to fold, and that was always a bad sign. “Just for a few of my friends to see us together, show that it’s the truth, and then I can just say that we didn’t work out and decided to stay friends.” 

“But it’s not the truth,” you stressed, turning your head back to the television. You were starting to get pissed at the fact that you’d have to watch that movie again to try and make sense of what was happening. But you were also sad because you were both considering his request and suffering in advance because of its unavoidable consequences. “I don’t wanna be just another name in your list of conquests, Jungkook.”

Correction: you didn’t want to pretend to be one. You were fine with trying something out (for real) with Jungkook, even if you didn’t get a fairy tale ending. You just didn’t want to play with your own emotions — and probably induce some emotional trauma — because your best friend couldn’t own up to the fact that he lied about something (again). 

And, yet, it was getting to you. Just like a vipers’ venom, it had started to spread inside your body, corroding the walls you had built up for yourself. Your therapist would rip you to shreds if she knew you were thinking like that, but maybe ignoring the only chance you’d have with Jungkook — real or not — would be the foolish decision there. 

Besides, it couldn’t be that bad, could it? You could push your pride aside and help a friend during a time of need… and who knows, maybe get a couple kisses along the way? And just for one night? You could do that… 

Back in the present, Jungkook was just now digesting your previous claim. “What? You’d never be just that,” he guaranteed, an expression of bewilderment plastered all over his obnoxiously handsome face. Every day was a new test from God, and you were failing miserably. “You’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you.” 

Ouch. That was a low hit. And worse? You knew that he didn’t say that with any malicious intent to manipulate you or anything — he genuinely meant it. Jungkook was such a sweetheart when it came to you, he’d stay up to help you with your projects; volunteer to take you out on an adventure when you were feeling down, even if he had to face the consequences of skipping practice later. He had done so much for you, and you couldn’t even push your feelings aside one time to help him out. 

Your high school insecurities were starting to erupt, and you were thinking that maybe those dumb nicknames were right. Maybe you were kind of a cold-hearted bitch. Especially when your best friend/love of your life was pouting and begging you to help him and all you could do was to mock him. 

Beside you, Jungkook deflated like the saddest balloon in the world, a long sigh leaving his lips. “You know what? You’re right, this is stupid,” he admitted, running one hand through his hair. You always wanted to do the same, it was so soft and puffy that you could get lost in it. Also, there was something about the tattoos on his arms, the veins of his hand, that just made you lose your mind. “I should just own up to it.” 

Took you a couple seconds for your rational brain to catch up to your horny one, but it eventually did. “It’s okay, I’ll do it,” you told him. “Just one night.”

“Really?” Jungkook’s eyes widened like a kid’s during Christmas morning, a beautiful smile overtaking his features. He jumped in your direction and, before you could even react, his strong arms were wrapping around you, pulling you into a warm hug. You were so fucked. “You’re the best! I owe you big time.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll remember that.” You placed your hand on his forehead and pushed him away, ignoring both his whiny complaints and the quickening of your heartbeat. “Now back to our shark exorcism.” 

~ 

Jungkook’s teammates didn’t get why the two of you were still friends. 

As Jimin, the world’s most competitive striker once said, some things are so obvious that you just can’t ignore them unless you have a secret agenda. When it came to that specific subject, the obvious thing would be that Jungkook had an earth-shattering crush on you, and his secret agenda was the fact that he was too blind to see that it was mutual, so he decided to repress it until it asphyxiated him. 

His teammates tried to warn him over and over again that you, in fact, were all heart eyes and chuckles when he came around, Namjoon even got close to creating an entire PowerPoint presentation about it, but all of it fell on deaf ears. Jungkook, in his blissful ignorance, just wouldn’t hear it. From where he was standing, there was just no conceivable way that his laughable childhood crush had any chance of being mutual. 

Jungkook didn’t know much about psychology, though, because, if he did, he might have faced those emotions head-first instead of avoiding them until they started presenting themselves in different, slightly destructive ways. When you repress something, it doesn’t really go away, it just settles somewhere else, like squeezing a handful of slime. No matter how much he tried to get a hold of it, it still slipped between his fingers — made him cancel dates last minute to spend the night with you, convinced him to do the dumbest things just to make you happy. 

And, now, in a weird projection of a personal fantasy, he was pretending to be your boyfriend. 

In his defense, it wasn’t a machiavellian plan he had meticulously constructed: it just kind of happened. Jungkook wasn’t exactly a poster child when it came to being teased — after all, he was used to be being the best at practically everything — and, when his teammates all ganged up on him during their break, claiming that he just couldn’t get a girlfriend even if he tried, both his annoyance and the practice-induced exhaustion made him say that he was already dating someone. 

“Yeah, right,” Hoseok had mocked, pressing a towel against his sweaty forehead. The changing room thankfully had a great ventilation system, combined with large windows, otherwise they would’ve died from the heat and the smell already. “Just say that you can’t take a joke and move on, Jeon. No need to lie about it.” 

Taehyung barged in before Jungkook could get a word out. “Besides, we know there’s only one person that can fit inside your heart,” he said, watching as Jungkook’s eye twitched. “How’s ___ doing, by the way?” 

“She’s fine,” he answered, monotone. 

“Yeah? Are you gonna ask her out or what?” Jimin teased, his voice coming from beyond a row of lockers. “Or are we free to do that?” 

In typical animal planet fashion, the locker room exploded in a roar of laughs and fragmented provocations, every guy trying to speak louder than the other. Jungkook felt himself shrink, his frown deepening as his heartbeat quickened. There was something burning at his insides, a mixture of shame and jealousy, and that was exactly what pushed those idiotic words out of his mouth. 

“Actually,” he started speaking when the thunderous laughter diminished, turning around to place his bag back in his locker. “I’m dating ___.” 

It was almost amazing how fast the room morphed into a crypt — the thick silence hitting Jungkook right in the face, weighing down and turning into guilt and worry inside his stomach. He was unable to look back and face his friends, instead pretending to be extremely interested in his bag’s zipper. 

Why did he always do that? Why couldn’t he tell the truth for once in his life? 

“That seems even harder to believe,” Taehyung was the first one to speak, the one brave soul that verbalized what they all were thinking. Simply as that, life returned to the locker room, and so did the sounds of his teammates laughing at him. “Just yesterday you were acting all nervous around her.” 

Jungkook slammed his locker door shut, turning around with a determined expression. “Well, yeah, because I was planning to ask her to be my girlfriend,” he had never constructed a lie so fast before, but, even then, Taehyung didn’t look like he was buying it. “I’m serious.” 

Which was probably the least trust-worthy thing he could say. 

“Prove it, then.” Hoseok smiled, crossing his arms. “Call her right now.”

“I’ll do you better,” Jungkook didn’t hesitate — a terrible sign, he realized one heartbeat too late; it was never good when his mouth decided to take the lead, allowing for the words to flow out of him before they could be filtered by his logical brain. But Jungkook was competitive, both in the field and in his personal life, and he couldn’t stand the humiliation that came from both losing an argument and being caught in a lie. As ironic as that was. “I’ll take her to Saturday’s party and you can all see it with your own eyes.” 

Jungkook was just buying himself some time, hoping that his charms would be enough to sweep you into his miraculous scheme before his teammates could realize something was off. Hoseok, of course, did not know that, but his expression showed that he wasn’t all too convinced either. “Sounds great,” he lowered his voice, looking at his friend up and down. “See you there, Jeon.” 

Jungkook left the locker room with a crown of victory hovering over his head and a bright, prideful smile — one which shrunk and shrunk as his day progressed and he realized that there was no way in hell that you’d accept to be swept into his personal melodrama. 

He had enough time between that conversation and the night at your place to go through all the stages of grief. In denial he found himself running from those cyclical thoughts, ignoring that it had happened in the first place — maybe it was all a big misunderstanding and his friends would let that situation go; maybe he didn’t have to sacrifice his friendship with you just to avoid being wrong about something. In anger, came anxiety, frustration at himself for being so dumb and impulsive, allowing for his ego to step in the way and shield him from reason. That one he suffocated with extra gym time and a consequential terrible cramp in his shoulder. 

Soon enough came bargain and Jungkook was thinking that, if he were to be very lucky, he could convince his friends that you happened to be way too sick to go to the party that night, and that, weirdly enough, you two broke up the very next day and you didn’t want to talk about it ever. Maybe he could go through all that in secret, use all his brain power to construct an elaborate, moviesque plan to get him out of the ditch he had dug himself and no one would ever know of his dirty lies. 

It was all for nothing, however — the depression stage materialized soon after, in the middle of his advanced calculus class, and Jungkook was practically imploding over the fact that he had managed to ruin everything between you two, and also between him and the rest of his team. That was it: not only would he lose his best friend (and perhaps the love of his life) but he would also lose trust and respect in the field. 

Acceptance only reached him when Jungkook was on his way to your place, and he came to terms with the idea that he was already in deep shit, so he should at least try and change that. He would ask you to pretend to be his girlfriend for a bit — even if he was positive you’d laugh until you were out of breath and never let him forget about it — under the possibility that perhaps, you’d say yes. 

Which, surprisingly, you did. 

Now, Jungkook wasn’t particularly emotional when it came to most things — even in the field, he managed to control that side of him well — but there was something intense bubbling up in his stomach as he made his way back to his dorm after the movie was over; a laugh that hung somewhere between maniacal and desperate that he couldn’t hold back. That could be bad, really bad. Especially considering that he didn’t have the slightest clue how he would hold himself back from just vomiting out a fervent love confession the second that you kissed him. 

Because that was supposed to happen, right? In a relationship, pretend one or not, people should kiss. He should act like your boyfriend, perhaps a fantasy that he had way too often, and still spare enough brain matter to remind himself that it was all fake. And that it was also all his fault. 

As established, Jungkook was the president of the company of putting himself in extremely uncomfortable situations. And, when the night of the party arrived, he decided to screw himself even further by lending you his team jacket. 

It was because it was cold, he tried to brainwash himself. It was because you were cold, because the night was cold, and not because he liked the view of you in it in the slightest. Or maybe because it was a bomb pumping his thorax full of pride and possessiveness; because it was making him believe, even for a second, that you two were part of a chimerical alternative universe in which you were together. Not at all. It was strictly business — the neighborly job of a worried best friend, at most. 

“Is this really necessary?” you spoke his doubts out loud, tugging at the sides of his large jacket. 

Jungkook managed to keep his cool, eyes darting around the peaceful streets. You two were close to the party, he could already listen to the repetitive beat echoing through the cool breeze, and every step he took amplified his anticipation by tenfold. “It speaks for itself,” he told you, his hand firm on your waist. You were wearing a sleeveless top and a skirt in the same color, and there was a stripe of exposed skin in between the two that Jungkook’s hand brushed against sometimes. He felt like he was a virgin again, hyper-aware of your body and completely unsure what to do with himself. “Besides, you look good wearing it.”

You rolled your eyes. “I look stupid.”

Jungkook glimpsed at you, a sleazy smile growing on his lips. “You look like my girlfriend.”

You snorted. “Oh, so I look super stupid,” you corrected, looking away. 

“Funny,” Jungkook answered, monotone. His smile melted away — there was no way in hell it was mutual, he thought, his friends were just fucking him over, trying to see him embarrass himself. “I hope you act better than you tell jokes.” 

“It’s probably as good as the effects in Birdemic,” you said. 

Jungkook shook his head — he had conflicting emotions when it came to that movie, considering that it was so awful that he laughed to the point of choking on his popcorn. You, being the empathic friend you were, brought up his near-death experience as often as you could. “At least that movie was funny, your poor acting will just be sad,” he threw back. 

“Thanks.” You giggled, making his heart leap inside his chest. Jungkook wanted to beat his head against the asphalt until that shy spirit of his middle school past left his body completely. “I’ll let you do the talking.” 

Jungkook nodded, allowing his gaze to navigate around the neighborhood — there were a handful of strangers in the streets with the two of you, but it was a shortcut to the frat house that not many people knew of. It brought along a peculiar sentiment of intimacy; the way your features were covered by the pale yellow of the light poles making him want to dive in and kiss you until he couldn’t even breathe. The realization that he could actually do that, under the excuse of a fake relationship, was one that almost knocked him out. 

“Just to be sure, by the way,” Jungkook started. “You’re okay with me, like, touching you like you were my girlfriend, right?”

You looked at him for a moment, measuring his expression. “Yeah, that’s part of it,” you told him. “I’m guessing you are okay with it as well?” 

“Fine by me.” Jungkook cleared his throat. The frat was literally just around the corner, buzzing into the night with a generic beat and the joyful yelps of hundreds of strangers. He usually enjoyed that cacophony of sounds, but, that time, it was like the screams from hell. “Just a couple hours, okay? Then you’re free.” 

“It’s fine,” you told him. “How bad can it be?” 

~ 

Short answer: bad. Long answer: bad, but with a twist. 

Jungkook looked around the party like he was a kid lost in the supermarket, his eyebrows furrowed as he searched for his teammates (which that whole spectacle was supposed to be for). You felt like a piece of a puzzle thrown in the wrong box, leaning against his toned body as he tried to think of what to do. 

“So…” You cleared your throat, trying to make yourself heard through the loud beating of the song. Jungkook followed your voice, leaning in closer. Maybe your heart skipped at that, but no one had to know. “What’s the plan, captain?”

Jungkook clicked his tongue. You two were leaning against one of the walls of the large living room, in a somewhat calm corner of the party. “I don’t know, I’m not feeling like being interrogated right now,” he said. “I think it’s better if we wait for the guys to get a bit more drunk so they don't think too much about it.” He sighed, looking around for a bit longer. “We could stay here for a while, just sit down and talk. What do you think?”

“Sounds good.” You breathed out. “I’m taking any chance to rest my feet at this point.” 

The ancient gods of the frat parties seemed to be on your side, because it didn’t take much longer than a couple minutes to find a sofa that 1) was unoccupied and 2) didn’t look like it had any suspicious fluids on it. You settled by Jungkook’s side, a breath of relief escaping your chest as you felt the pressure on your calves subside considerably — all you wanted was to go back in time and kill whoever thought high heels were a good idea. 

However, you relaxed way too early. 

You had to hold back a surprised gasp when Jungkook abruptly tugged your legs onto his lap, one hand finding the curvature of your waist instantly. 

“This feels... intimate,” your voice sounded stiff when you spoke up, pushing your skirt down. 

“Yeah, that’s the point.” His eyes roamed around the room for exactly two seconds before they widened just slightly, then snapped back at you. “Okay, two things.” Jungkook placed one arm on the couch behind you, murmuring as he leaned in. He had that scheming expression on his face that had been plaguing you ever since middle school, when he first discovered pranks, and you didn’t think that was a good sign. “First: Yoongi, Jin and Namjoon are here, and they’re looking— shh, don’t look! Dumbass.” 

“Sorry. You’re the dumbass,” you said. It was hard not to look when you felt as if you were under a microscope, watched closely by his meat-headed friends. Still, you tried to keep your composure. “And the second?” 

He exhaled, the hand that was on your waist traveling to touch your cheek. You wondered if he could feel how hot your skin had become. “It’s kind of the time that you have to commit to being my fake girlfriend,” Jungkook warned, stare oscillating towards your mouth. “I’m gonna kiss you now, okay?” 

Suddenly, you felt like you were right back in high school, about to have your first kiss and not having a single clue about how to do it. “O-Okay,” you whispered. 

Jungkook didn’t waste any time. Before you could think about something to try and break the ice, his mouth was on yours, silencing you and turning your thoughts into white noise. He kissed you softly, much slower than you had expected, giving you time to adapt to the tender movement of his lips caressing yours. 

You sighed, gradually remembering how to move your limbs. Your hands rested on his broad shoulders as he leaned his head to the side, opening his mouth just slightly and deepening the kiss. No matter how many times you had fantasized about that moment, it could never compare to the way his tongue slipped inside your mouth, nor the small grunt he let out against your lips. Kissing Jungkook felt like heaven and you had completely forgotten about your fake dating situation until he decided to pull back just a bit. 

“Fuck, you’re a good kisser,” he mumbled, nose bumping against yours. 

You let out a breathy laugh. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I’m not surprised.” His hand slithered down to your hips, his warm palm sending shockwaves through your body. You felt like you were in danger from the way he was speaking, his body moving closer to yours. “I knew you would be.” 

Jungkook didn’t even give you time to process his words before he was kissing you again — sloppier, hungrier this time. Again and again, he chose to throw gasoline into the flame of your desire, and what could you do but to melt under his touches, to kiss him just as eagerly. 

Faithlessly, you were trying to convince yourself that it was all an act, that he was just playing it up because he knew his friends were watching. But his hand just felt so firm on your hips, pulling you closer as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, fingers digging into the soft sea of his hair. It seemed so real when he moaned softly against your mouth, biting on your lower lip before tracing kisses down your jaw, towards your neck. 

Or maybe you were just so deep inside your own illusions that you didn’t want to believe that it was all for show. 

Your eyes parted just slightly, trying to find his friends amongst the crowd of strangers. It was extremely hard to think when Jungkook was sucking and licking his way down your neck, his hand squeezing your thighs. Apparently they were nowhere in sight, though, for those obviously bright orange jackets had left your field of vision. 

“Jungkook,” you called, surprised at how firm your voice came out. The boy only hummed against your flesh, not paying much attention to what you were saying. “I think they already left.” 

Still, it didn’t seem like he was willing to stop. Jungkook mumbled against your neck, his voice so low that you almost didn’t catch his words past the loud music. “Yeah, but someone else can be watching.” 

You didn’t know who, though, and you didn’t really care. You were more worried about the small bites he was placing on your skin, the soft sucking of his mouth that left you pressing your legs together, begging for relief. “Um, okay, but there’s a minor emergency,” you told him. 

That managed to get his attention, for the boy pulled back so he could look at you. “What is it?” He asked, worried. 

You shifted around on the couch, your legs still thrown over his lap. You noticed something hard poking against your skin, which gave you enough momentum to admit out loud that, “I’m, like, soaking wet right now,” you said. “My neck is super sensitive and I’m really trying to hold back here.” 

Jungkook froze, blinking a few times and your words settled in his mind. He would never understand how you could be so shy in one second, and then just throw that bomb on his lap like it wouldn’t make his dick rock hard in record time. “Fuck, how can you just say that so naturally?” He cursed. 

“Sorry.” You bit your lip. Jungkook had to fight the urge to kiss you again. “I’m just being honest.” 

How ironic was it that, while Jungkook lied his way through life, you had no problem throwing those random truths right at his face? The opposites do attract, after all. 

He cleared his throat, unsure if he should pull away or not. “Want me to stop?” 

“I don’t know,” you admitted, “I think this is getting weird.” 

Maybe it would be the perfect time for the world to just open up and eat him whole, considering that Jungkook had never felt so embarrassed in his life. “Weird how?” He asked. 

“Weird like… weird.” Self-expression under moments of extreme sexual pressure really wasn’t your forte. You broke eye contact, flustered, instead choosing to look at the cluttered coffee table by your side. Jungkook’s hand was still on your body and you liked his touch far too much for your own well-being. “Maybe it would be better if we just went home.” 

“Right now?” Jungkook whined. Sometimes he still acted like the kid you knew, all puffy cheeks and demands for attention; for things to happen the way he wanted. You, being the simp that you were, were his number one enabler. “One more hour, please? We’ve been here for so little time, I just wanna cover all my bases.” 

His pouty lips and needy voice was a Molotov cocktail thrown directly in your heart. “Fine.” You puffed out. 

“Thank you!” Jungkook beamed, leaning in to place a kiss on your lips. The action was so automatic, so unthought, that neither of you reacted to it for a second. “Um… why do you say we try the backyard? Jimin said he’d try some new barbecue technique or whatever, so maybe they’re outside.” 

“And after that we leave?” You asked. He nodded. “And you do the talking?” 

“I’ll try my best,” Jungkook agreed.

You sighed. “Okay. I need some fresh air anyways.” 

~ 

Back in middle school, you had a very eccentric world history teacher. You clearly remember one afternoon that she simply walked in and asked the class what was the worst type of torturing they could ever imagine a human could endure — which ended up being a great opening line to a very interesting class about the medieval times and the ways of the inquisition, but also something that plagued you for a long time. That night, when you returned home, you dove into the rabbit hole about the topic and (much to the horror of your parents) discovered a thing or two about torture methods. 

The key point, it seemed, wasn’t even about the actual physical act, but about the horrendous expectation that came from it. Psychological torture could break a person apart before someone even laid a finger on them. You knew that already, but you had never truly witnessed it until that night. 

“Well, guess I have to take back what I said,” Hoseok started, his speech slightly slurred by the alcohol. Jungkook was right, they were a lot less intense after a few drinks, and apparently weren’t questioning a lot either. “I didn’t think you two would ever end up together after so many years of bullshit, but here we are.”

“Cheers to that, brother,” Jimin barged in, raising his cup. 

Jungkook chuckled behind you. “You guys have no fucking faith in me.” 

As a typical former theater kid, you were naturally dramatic. But you weren’t kidding when you said that pretending to be Jungkook’s girlfriend might be a newfound method of psychological torture — especially when he made you sit on his lap, his head resting on your shoulder and strong arms wrapped tightly around you. It was because there were no more chairs left in the backyard, and he wanted to play the gentleman/possessive boyfriend and didn’t allow you to stand up. But justificatives were fruitless when you could feel him getting harder by the minute. 

“It’s not about faith, you just fucked me up,” Taehyung said. He was the least inebriated one out of the group, but that didn’t mean much. “I owe Yoongi like fifty bucks now, thanks, man.” 

Jungkook was probably going to say something equally ludicrous in return, but your  curiosity made you act quicker. “Why?” You asked. 

Taehyung clicked his tongue, leaning back against his chair — it was the type that folded in half, and you were thinking he would flip over any second now if he continued with those harsh movements. “Ah. No biggie. He was one of the few people who believed your boyfriend here when he said you two were together.” 

You giggled, trying to keep yourself composed. Unlike Jungkook, you were not very skilled when it came to making up lies at the spot, so you ended up deflecting a little. “Yeah, it was a bit… sudden. So I understand the surprise.” 

Hoseok yawned, throwing his head back. “Nah, not really a surprise.”

You blinked. “What do you mean?”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes, shifting a little behind you. You felt him tense up, which probably wasn’t a good sign. “Yeah, what do you mean?” He echoed. 

“I mean… that it wasn’t a surprise,” Hoseok repeated, raising his eyebrows in a quiet mockery, as if you had just questioned the color of the sky. “Yoongi was sure Jungkook had finally gotten the balls to confess to you. I, myself, didn’t think it was that likely.” 

Wait, what? Suddenly you felt like you were the one being lied to, and all of them were in it together, building this huge prank around that story just to humiliate you. There was no way Hoseok was serious about that, not when the booze was probably melting his brain. 

Before you could continue to think about that, however, Jungkook spoke up. “Man, you guys suck.” He laughed. “I told you I’d do it someday and you never believed it.” 

Ah. That was it. Jungkook had lied about it just like he had done countless times in the past. 

You deflated a little, a sting of pain inside your chest as the conversation continued to unravel around you. Right then and there, you felt like the stupidest person alive, with no right to complain about the consequences you knew would come from that idea. Even if you had almost convinced yourself otherwise, what probably happened was that Jungkook got cornered some time in the past about some other girl, and ended up telling his friends that he liked you instead, just to get out of that situation. Like some of his lies, it snowballed, and it took you to where you two were now. 

It was hard not to feel hurt, even if you still believed you were a bit at fault for agreeing to his moronic plan. You knew you’d end up like this, suffering over someone who didn’t see you the same way, and you still fell headfirst into that trap. Maybe you were the bad guy in that situation, maybe you were the creepy one for taking advantage of his situation just to feel his body against yours, just to kiss him and pretend that it was all true. Maybe you had no room to judge. 

If you concentrated really hard, you could probably pinpoint the exact moment in which you realized that you were head over heels for your best friend. It wasn’t as glamorous as you’d like, just a dirty thought catalyzed by your teen hormones that unleashed an avalanche — it had happened back in the dark, desolate lands of high school, when you were cheering for Jungkook during one of his games. It was an important one, from what you could remember, his brain buzzing with the tension of his senior year and the promise of a fantastic victory. As always, you were there for him: front row, face painted with the colors of your high school, and cheering him on. 

He smiled at you, like he always did, but there was something odd about it. Like a lightning crossing the sky, one simple (yet fatal) intrusive thought popped up inside your head: he’s hot. 

It was all downhill from there. As much as you tried to wave those ideas away, they kept growing and multiplying, finding new ways to justify themselves — not only was Jungkook hot, suddenly, but you also realized that he would be an amazing boyfriend. He was sweet, kind, funny, determined, a bit ditzy sometimes but nothing you couldn’t deal with. He heard you complain about your problems when needed, but also felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with you. There were so many shared interests between you two that you were positive that you could talk forever and never run out of topics to discuss. Jungkook was a walking minefield and you just stepped right on it. 

And there you were, stumbling your way down into hell as your lives progressed, and Jungkook got into the same college as you. As predicted, he quickly grew to be the campus’ new star player: a great attacking midfielder, with the number 10 plastered on his shirt and a heart-stopping smile on his face. How on earth could you fight that temptation? It was like a re-enactment of Eve and the snake in the garden of eden. Only the snake had amazing thunder thighs that looked even better with his team’s shorts. 

You always asked yourself if Jungkook knew what he was doing when he used his shirt to dry the sweat on his forehead, leaving his glistening abs in full display; or maybe when he hugged and swirled you around after they won a game. Part of you wanted to believe that he liked you back, even if you couldn’t really see it. Most of you believed that he was just his personality and nothing else. 

“Hey,” he breathed out, voice husky against your ear. You thanked his oversized jacket for concealing the goosebumps on your arms. “You good?” 

Just on the brink of a meltdown, no biggie. “Yeah, I’m okay.” 

He hummed, nuzzling his face against your neck. “Just a little bit longer, alright?” He placed a tiny kiss there, but it was powerful enough to make you whimper quietly. No one seemed to notice, but you didn’t know why Jungkook did that when you had just told him that your neck was sensitive. “They seem convinced.” 

Maybe “they” should have you included as well, because you had to actively remind yourself that you two were just acting, that he didn’t see you that way. Nevermind the pool of wetness between your legs, nevermind the way your body was on edge with his strong arms pulling you closer; his chiseled abs pressed tightly against your back. Nevermind Jungkook’s sweet smell or the gentle touches of his lips against your skin. It was all fake, dollar store material. It was just a matter of time before your ride became a pumpkin and the dream was over. 

At the same time, you could tell that Jungkook was being affected as well — you could feel the outline of his hard cock poking against your ass when you pressed down on his lap; noticed the tense movements of his arms as they held onto your body. And when Jungkook spoke, with his head placed on your shoulder and a solemn expression on his face, you could tell that he got just a bit choked up every time you shifted around, brushing your ass against his erection. 

The human brain is amazing when it comes to searching for any reason to prove our own theories, however, and that was why you weren’t taking any of those signs seriously — cognitive bias was a thing, and you weren’t falling for its tricks. If there are people out there that believe that the earth is flat, even with a ridiculous amount of evidence against it, you couldn’t trust yourself in believing that you had enough proof to think that Jungkook was interested in you. Maybe your argument was equivalent to “well, I can’t see gravity so it doesn’t exist”, and you didn’t even know it.

So you decided to take it easy, to aim towards the side of caution, as the night progressed into the deeper levels of Dante’s Inferno. By the time that Jungkook decided that you two had accomplished your goal and it was time to get you home, you almost cried in relief. 

You two drove in almost complete silence, only sparsely commenting on a few occurrences of the night. There was a thick blanket of tension hanging between the two of you, a bitter taste in the back of your throat that you couldn’t ignore. It had been a fun night, yeah, but it was done with. Time to burst that bubble and crash back into reality. 

Thankfully or not, depending where you stood, Jungkook didn’t seem to be as worried about those details. He was ridiculously cheerful, beyond proud of his skills, and a little over the moon about the fact that he had been with you the entire night, acting out things he never thought would come true.

“There you go, all done,“ he exclaimed, victorious, the second you two walked into your apartment. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?” 

You scoffed, leaning against the wall so you could remove your shoes. “It wasn’t good either,” you said, monotone. You were physically, emotionally and psychologically exhausted, and you seriously didn’t want to look at his annoyingly pretty face for another second. “Have fun telling them about our instantaneous breakup.” 

At that, Jungkook visibly tensed up. “Ha. Yeah…”

You sighed, beyond pissed off (and heartbroken) at that point. You weren’t Jungkook, weren’t built to lie your way through life, to pretend as if the feelings inside your chest were not your own. “By the way — fuck, I hate high heels,” you complained, throwing your shoes on the floor with a bit more force than necessary. Jungkook flinched a little, distracted. “By the way, what did Hoseok mean by that?”

He blinked, swallowing dry. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck — think of something. “By what?”

You raised one eyebrow. “Saying that you’d never have the guts to confess or whatever.” 

The worst part was that Jungkook could see in your downcast eyes that you had no idea what you were asking him. You seriously couldn’t tell that he had feelings for you — or, if you did, you simply couldn’t believe it. Or maybe you just despised him on a level in which a crush would be preposterous to even consider. “Ah.” He clicked his tongue. Think, you dumbass! Come up with something! “That.” 

You were getting a little choked up now. There was no way you couldn’t notice the trademarked signals of Jungkook buying himself some time, trying to come up with something inside that evil head of his. Maybe you had been right thinking that he had mentioned your name randomly one day, just to save his ass, and now he was dealing with the backlash of his actions. “Yeah, what was it about?” You pressed on. 

Jungkook chuckled, nervous. “Man… I was really hoping you’d forget that.” 

You took a step closer to him, anticipating what was to come. If he was going to hurt you, you wished he would just do it quickly, without dragging it out so much. “Just tell me, Jungkook.” 

And he was trying. Kind of. Jungkook was looking at you like his brain was frying, the Widow’s blue screen reflecting off his widened eyes. “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, stare falling to the floor. “I can’t lie to you about that.”

You scoffed, venom running up your throat. That was priceless. “You tell white lies almost every day, why is this so different?” 

“Because it’s not a white lie.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows and narrowed your eyes, taking another step towards him. “Why are you thinking about lying to me, in the first place?” You asked. “Even if… even if it will hurt me. I deserve to know.” 

“Uhh…” he hesitated, rubbing the back of his head. “Because the truth kind of sucks and it can fuck everything up. And I don’t wanna do that.” 

Apparently you were right about your previous theory, then. Jungkook didn’t see you the same way, after all. And that was fine (it wasn’t), but he couldn’t even grow a pair and tell you straight on. “So you would rather avoid it?” You didn’t relent, motivated by your frustration, your hurt, that sickly feeling of betrayal — everything at once. “That has been kind of a running theme with you, hasn’t it?” You stared at him, but Jungkook could only avert his eyes from your burning gaze, instead looking at his feet. “Fine. Don’t tell me if you don’t want to, but quit dragging me into these bullshit lies of yours. I’m tired.”

“No one has ever cancelled a date with me,” he blurted out.

You hesitated, blinking a few times as you digested his words. “What?”

He breathed out. “No one has ever cancelled a date with me. It was all me,” Jungkook confessed. “I lied to you about that because I wanted to spend more time with you. And I didn’t care about anyone else.”

“Wh—“

Overwhelmed by a random wave of courage, his gaze snapped up at you. “I like when you watch my practice and bring me stuff, and I like when you invite me to those dumb movie marathons and make me watch the most disgusting shit,” Jungkook continued, his words falling incoherently from his mouth. You could only stare, flabbergasted, as he spilled months — years — of secrets all at once. “And I like watching you study, and I love seeing you laugh, I love spending time with you, and Hoseok is fucking tired of hearing me talk about it and do nothing.”

“I... don’t understand what you’re saying,” you told him. 

“I told the guys that we were dating because you were literally the only person that popped in my mind, and the only person I actually wanted to be with,” he just went on, not paying attention to your previous comment. Jungkook was a little on edge now, a bit breathless and wide-eyed. He’s nervous, you realized. It had been a long time since you saw him like that. “And this was the best night I’ve had in a while, just because you were there and I— I’m fucking everything up, I told you I would.”

“Jungkook,” you called softly, feeling as if every inhale was an olympic sport. Your heart was beating so fast inside your chest that you were afraid of having a syncope before you could hear the words you needed so badly. “Just tell me what you want to say.” 

He cleared his throat, shifting the weight from one leg to the other. “I’m like… how do I put this…?” Jungkook paused, took a deep breath, and dropped the bomb. “I’ve been kind of in love with you ever since we were like eight, yeah.” 

Record scratch. Freeze frame. “You what?” 

Jungkook chuckled. “Yep… awkward,” he said. “Sorry.” 

It hasn’t settled in just yet, which explained why you didn’t start screaming at him. “And you have the guts to tell me that I drop things naturally?” You asked. “Are you serious? You better not be fucking with me right now.”

He raised one hand and placed it on his chest. “I’m not, promise.” 

And then it hit you like a ton of bricks. “Jeon Jungkook!” You screeched, both hands flying to hold onto his shirt, rocking him back and forth with the strength of a thousand men. “I’m gonna make you swallow my fist!”

Jungkook was dumbfounded, ten times more confused than when you tried to explain to him the plot of the Velocipastor — which really wasn’t that hard, it was just a pastor who was also a dinosaur shifter. But his brain wasn’t good at following those types of unpredictable plots, and that counted your burst of anger. “That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting at all,” he murmured, voice flat with disbelief. 

But it was your turn to ramble incoherently. “You’re an idiot! You’re even worse than I thought!” You were still speaking loudly, letting all that frustration wash out of you, giving place to relief. “You made me go through all this fucking night, kissing you and pretending to be your girlfriend, while you actually like me? You prick!” 

You punched his chest — his stupid, muscular, rock-hard chest. “Ouch!” He whined, but you doubted it actually hurt. 

“I was almost crying because of how hard it was to suppress my own feelings for you,” you told him, pulling on his shirt once again. You wanted to take it off, wanted to kiss him until he was all that you could think about. But you also wanted to dropkick him straight to the deepest circle of hell. “And you like me back? Idiot!” 

“Wait, wait, what?” Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up, a perfect picture of his surprise. “For real?”

“For real.” Your shoulders slumped, the anger that possessed your body left you as quickly as it had arrived. “I’m in love with you too, you smooth-brained asshole. Ever since high school.” 

He blinked, dumbfounded. “I had no idea.” 

“Didn’t I tell you that speaking the truth is always the better option? You never listen.” You tugged on his shirt one more time, for dramatic effect. “Dumbass.” 

“You’re the dumbass. And no, I don’t think I do,” his voice was flat, mind navigating miles away from your place. “___?”

“What?” You barked. 

“How mad are you?” 

You groaned. “Pretty mad, why?”

It was his turn to take a step towards you, the heat that emanated off his body now surrounding you. “Because I’m gonna kiss you right now and I’d greatly appreciate it if you didn’t bite my face off.”

You sighed, relaxing against his torso. Jungkook’s hands came up to rest on your waist, guiding you closer to him. “I’ll try my best,” you told him, “go ahead.” 

Maybe all those foolish love songs and melodramatic romantic poets were onto something, because you swore you saw fireworks when Jungkook finally moved in, crashing his lips on yours. Yes, you had kissed him already that night, but there was no way those two situations could be comparable, not when you felt much lighter now that the secret was out, and that you knew what he felt when he pulled you closer, when he sighed against your mouth and caressed your lower back. 

Long years of friendship granted you the knowledge that Jungkook was tender with some things, rough with others — he was gentle with kids, with his other friends, with you; he was hard around the edges when it came to his matches (being especially fiery around championships), people he didn’t like, and goals he wanted to reach. As he kissed you, you could notice him trying to figure out which approach to take with you: his lips were soft on yours, tongue slowly exploring your mouth, but his hands were harsh, groping your ass as he pushed you up against the nearest wall, a growl vibrating inside his chest. 

Maybe it was a bit evil to push his buttons when you knew he was so dangerously close to snapping, but you weren’t in the right frame of mind — or, rather, you weren’t in any frame of mind at all. So, knowing very well that Jungkook was the most competitive person you knew, you pulled away from the kiss to say, “Come on, why don’t you kiss me like you mean it?” 

Which might have been the dumbest final words you could’ve uttered. 

You were graced with just a couple seconds of hesitation from his part — frustration and desire flashing inside his hooded eyes — before he was crashing his mouth onto yours once again. Jungkook didn’t say anything, because he didn’t need to: the messy, sensual kiss he gave you was more than enough to make you shut up. Just according to the keikaku, of course. 

His hands were in the back of your tights before you could think, pulling you up and pinning you against the wall. You moaned against his lips, a shaky exhale leaving your mouth when he rolled his center against yours — cock hard and heavy inside his pants, brushing against your covered heat. Jungkook did it two, three, four times, slowly grinding against you like he couldn’t hold himself back any further, groaning at the feeling. 

When he pulled away, you were almost seeing entire constellations forming in your vision, your breath labored and mind dizzy with desire. “Fuck,” he cursed, resting his forehead on yours. “Want you so fucking bad.” 

“Want you too,” you told him. “Bedroom?” 

He pulled back so he could look at you better. “Sure?” 

You nodded. “Sure.” Leaning in, you placed a timid kiss on his lips. “Want you to fuck me, Jungkook.” 

After all those years, that was all that he needed to hear. He was quick to pull you away from the wall, hands holding your body up and your legs wrapped around his waist. Jungkook knew your apartment like the back of his hand, but he still kept his eyes open as he walked towards your bedroom, your lips mindlessly attacking his thick neck. You had dreamed about doing that so many times and you could say with confidence that you weren’t disappointed by the shuddering breaths he let out, or the small grunts he gifted you every time you sucked his skin just right. By the time that Jungkook placed you on your bed, crawling over you, you were so wet that it was almost embarrassing. 

He looked at you like he was hypnotized, his hands roaming up your legs, slowly spreading them so he could place himself in between. With the action, your skirt rolled up, exposing your underwear. “Shit, I thought about doing this so many times,” Jungkook murmured, almost as if he was talking to himself. “I can’t believe it’s real.” 

“You’re so sappy.” You giggled, but you couldn’t deny that his low voice was getting to you. You shivered when his palms met the exposed skin of your waist, pausing in the space between your skirt and your sleeveless top. Jungkook was deep in thought, his gaze flickering all over your body. “What is it?” You asked. 

“You look so fucking hot in this.” He pulled on the large piece of clothing, his tongue coming out to lick his lips. “Wanna fuck you with the jacket on. Just the jacket.” 

You almost choked on your saliva — well that was something you weren’t expecting at all. “Seriously?” You raised one eyebrow, teasing him. “You have that much of a hard-on for sports?” 

Jungkook didn’t seem to be in the mood for jokes, though, because he gave you a serious answer. “No, I have that much of a hard-on for you.” He dipped in so he could nestle his face on the curve of your neck, humming as he inhaled your scent. Once again, you were faced with the contrast of his soft lips against your skin, but the rough tug of his hands on your skirt. “Wanna fuck my girl with only my jacket on, what’s so wrong about that?” 

You whimpered when he licked on your sensitive spot, trying to push your legs together, but being stopped by his presence between them. Jungkook successfully pulled your skirt out of you, throwing it somewhere on the floor. “Since when are you this possessive?” You asked. 

He moved back, hands progressing to your tube top and sliding it down. It seemed as if the world had conspired in his favor, because it was just so easy to leave you only with his team clothes on, the elastic material leaving your body quick enough. “I’m not possessive,” he responded, only half there. His brain was trying to understand the vision of you before his eyes, only with your panties and his jacket. Jungkook could feel his cock throbbing inside his pants, begging for relief, and he just knew that sight would plague him forever. “Wanna make sure that you know you’re mine, though. I’ve thought about this for too long.” 

As you fumbled for something to say, he dove back in, his mouth attacking your breasts with no time. Your back arched, fingers tangling in his messy hair as he sucked and licked your nipples, his strong hands squeezing your tits every time you moaned out. It was almost humiliating how reactive you were, with your shallow breaths and broken calls of his name, but Jungkook was fucking loving it, and he just wanted more of it. 

You melted under his touches as he pulled himself closer to you, his mouth tracing its way back to your clavicles, then your neck. Much to your dismay, his hands were still on your breasts, playing with your erect nipples as he finally found that one spot that made you yelp. 

“W-Wait,” you stammered, “my neck is sensitive.”

Jungkook knew that already. In fact, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since you mentioned it back at the party; his cock stiff inside his pants at the memory alone. “I noticed,” he groaned, the vibrations of his voice spreading throughout your skin. One of his hands slithered between your bodies, hastily pulling your underwear to the side so his fingers could plunge between your folds. At the sensation of your arousal, Jungkook growled, pressing his erection against your thigh. “Holy fuck. You’re soaked.”

“I told you,” you said, feeling like your brain was about to melt and drip out of your ears. It was hard to concentrate when he was making out with your neck like that, sucking and biting the skin before liking the same spot he had just attacked. Still, the sudden plunging of his finger inside your pussy caught your attention in an instant. “J-Jungkook, I’m—” 

How shameful was it that you couldn’t even finish a damn sentence? Lust was getting the best of you, pushing your rationalizations aside and filling your lungs with desire. Jungkook soon added a second finger inside you, stretching you wide as he continued to fuck you. It was a fantastic sensation — his hand was much larger than yours, and you were sure you’d be able to cum like that if it kept it up for long enough. 

Jungkook moaned against your neck, pulling his head back so he could take a look at you. His cock throbbed at the sight of your dazed-out face, your parted lips looking so dangerously inviting to him, “Tell me what you want,” he asked, diving in to kiss you. He sucked on your tongue, making you whine as he pulled back. “I’ll give you whatever you want.” 

“Want you,” you said, nails digging into his shoulder blades. 

Jungkook liked the sharp pain that came from it, raising the speed of his fingers just a bit. “I’m right here.”

“No,” you whimpered, blinking back the tears of frustration that covered your irises. God, Jungkook couldn’t even believe you were all his. “Want your cock inside me, please.” 

Listening to you saying that was like experiencing a choir of angels singing directly to him. Jungkook had waited far too long to get you alone like that, so beautiful and pliant beneath him, and there was no way in hell he would deny you your request. 

So he got moving, his hand flying to the back of his shirt, which he tugged off with one swift motion. Your eyes fell to his toned chest, roaming his sweaty skin as he moved onto his belt. “Take those off.” He signaled with his head towards your panties. 

You nodded, sliding your underwear down and throwing it to the side. Even with his jacket still on — which, you admitted, it was both objectively and subjectively hot — you felt extremely exposed, thighs closing just slightly when Jungkook took his pants and boxers off. 

“Keep them open,” he warned, his stare stuck to your glistening folds, and you did. His face was one of sheer lust, tongue coming out to wet his lips as he placed himself back in place. “Wanna see you cum on my fingers,” he breathed, “but I’m too hard. Need to be inside you right now.” 

Your attention flickered downwards, pulled by the small collision of his cock against your clit. You winced at the feeling, but one of his large hands kept you in place as he moved closer to your heat. The constant drumming of your pulse was all that you could hear for a second, heart skipping a beat when you fully noticed his size. 

Would it be weird to say that Jungkook had a pretty dick? Because he did. And a big one too, which made you second guess your own limits for a moment. 

As if he was reading your mind, his cockhead pressed against your pussy, so warm and wet that Jungkook swore he was about to lose his mind — or what was left of it. There was nothing more that he wanted then to nestle himself in your heat, bury himself deep inside you until you were the only thing he could think about. “Shit, look at you,” he murmured, brushing his tip against your entrance. Your figure twitched under him, a soft gasp leaving your mouth at the feeling. “Bet I could slide right in.” 

He was hypnotized by the squelching sounds of your pussy, the way your opening fluttered around his crown as he slowly started to press himself into you. He wanted to do it slowly so he could pay attention to every detail of you, every small exclamation of pleasure that dripped like honey from your lips. 

The world around you two was getting smaller and hotter by the minute, suffocating you and pulling the air out of your lungs. Your eyelashes fluttered as Jungkook’s cock slid inside you, just the tip at first, your back arching as your walls clenched around him, almost as if your body was rejecting his size. “You’re so big,” you whined, burry eyes fighting to focus on his face. 

Jungkook, however, wasn’t looking at you, but at the way his member sank between your folds, diving into your wet heat. “Yeah?” He breathed out, jaw clenching. It was taking everything inside him not to start pounding into you. “I’m sure you can take it, don’t you think?” 

You nodded, and it took a moment for your words to catch up to you. “Y-Yes,” you said. 

Jungkook was more than halfway inside you now, and his mind was more than halfway gone, thrown out of the window and into the gelid nocturnal winds. The way you were wrapping around him should be illegal; you were so perfect that jungkook was sure he could never find a drug that would get him so high. “That’s it, be greedy for me,” he groaned, “take everything.” 

He went as deep as he could, his cock almost brushing against your cervix and your cunt throbbing against him. Maybe he had died and was in paradise, because there was no way he could be feeling so good. 

“Move, please,” you asked meekly. 

Lucky you, he was more than happy to comply. 

Jungkook tilted his hips back, until just his tip was still inside you, only to bottom out again, feeling as your cunt throbbed around him. He did this with unbearable patience at first, allowing your body to get accustomed to his cock splitting you open before he started to pick up the pace. Most of his self control had already burned out, though, at it wasn’t long before he was fucking you fast, rough; groaning at the way your tits jumped every time he shived his length back inside you. 

Once again, he felt like a virgin — you were too much, it seemed. Everything about you got him searching for the stars, wishing for more and moaning out every time your cunt squeezed around him. You were so fucking wet, he thought, so tight and warm, that he wasn’t even thinking about cumming, just about how wished to keep fucking you forever. At the same time, Jungkook was sure that he wouldn’t last long, not when you were looking at him like that, calling his name again and again until it silenced all his thoughts. 

Your breath hitched when his cock brushed against your sensitive spot. “Right there, right there,” you sobbed, nails scratching the skin of his arms. Jungkook caught onto your request straight away, keeping the same angle until you were a babbling mess under him. “Oh m-my god, yeah,” you cried out. “S-So good.”

“Fuck, that’s tight,” Jungkook cursed, his hands digging into your thighs, shoving them up for him so he could reach deeper, fuck you harder. He couldn’t stop moaning, gasping, producing the most beautiful sounds for you. “S-Shit, you’re just pulling my cock in. Your pussy feels amazing.” If given enough time, he could go crazy staring at the way in which his cock disappeared between your folds, only to come back dripping with your arousal, and then slamming back in. “You’re just so fucking hot,” he couldn’t help but say it out loud. “Play with your tits for me.” 

You didn’t have the guts to deny him, your hands palming your tits, squeezing the soft flesh. You whimpered at the feeling, eyes closing in bliss as he continued to fuck you. 

“That’s it, so good for me,” Jungkook praised, hips losing their rhythm for a second. His cock was already throbbing, orgasm threatening to hit him any time now. He needed you to cum first, though. “Your pussy too. Come on.” 

That time, you hesitated a little, a broken sob falling from your lips as you found his gaze. However, you couldn’t deny it — you wanted to be good for him, to get his praises again and again until that was all that you could hear. So you followed his command, two fingers, sinking into your wetness before trailing back to your clit. 

A rush of pleasure ran through your veins, pussy clenching around his cock as your moments grew desperate, needy for more. You were bordering on delirious by that point, your mind unable to focus on one thing, instead jumping between all the stimulation you were getting — your hand squeezing your breast; your fingers rubbing your clit; Jungkook’s cock drilling inside you. “T-Too much,” you cried. 

God, but that’s exactly what he wanted. Jungkook wanted to see that pretty, overwhelmed face of yours, wanted to show you that every minute of waiting had been worth it. “Yeah? But you can take it for me, can’t you?” He moaned under his breath, starting to get lost in his own pleasure. You were getting tighter by the second, which was a dangerous thing. “You can cream my cock if I ask you to, right?”

“Y-yeah,” you stammered. “I’ll do anything f-for you.” 

Jungkook sighed at your words, cock throbbing inside you. “Good girl, just like that,” he husked. “Such a good girl.” 

Tears started to prickle your eyes, and you didn’t know if it was because of how overwhelmed you were, or because your emotions were just now starting to tip over. “J-Jungkook,” you called his name, for a moment not knowing if you would follow it up with something else. His eyes found your own, dazed ones, and his heart skipped a beat at how beautiful and his you looked at that moment. “Love y-you.” 

Years of fantasizing about that confession could’ve never prepared the two of you for such an honest, unexpected moment. Jungkook felt his soul reach levels of happiness which he had never experienced before, mouth only able to say one thing in return. “Love you too.” He pressed his forehead against yours, movements becoming more sloppy, desperate. The new angle was an amazing discovery, his cock hitting that perfect spot inside you, which tore a loud cry from you. “Holy shit,” he moaned. “You’re getting so fucking t-tight around my cock.” 

“Close,” you breathed out, letting go of his previous requests and just taking your hands to his face instead. Jungkook stared at you like he could see the entire universe in your eyes, his hot breaths hitting your face in gentle waves. “K-Kiss me, please.” 

There was no need to repeat yourself. Jungkook crashed his mouth against yours, trapping you in a kiss that felt both like too much and too little at the same. You barely had any time to dive into the caress of his lips on yours before your high washed over you — walls spasming around his length as you dove into bliss; moaning into the kiss and holding to his broad shoulders. 

He broke the kiss right after, a stuttering, failed breath leaving his chest. “L-Love you,” he choked out, “so much.” Jungkook gasped. He was so close, but, at the same time, he didn’t want to let go just yet. It felt too good — having you was too perfect. “Can’t b-believe you’re mine.” 

You smiled at his state, one hand brushing the sweaty hair away from his forehead. “Love you too,” you said back. You could say it again and again, without ever getting tired. After so many years swallowing it down, nothing felt so free. “It’s okay, you can let go.” 

Jungkook nodded, only mildly aware of his own actions. With all the force within him, he pushed himself away from you, pulling out from your heat. Soon, his hand wrapped around his cock, using your arousal to pump himself towards his much-needed release. “Shit,” he choked up, throwing his head back. “Oh, fuck, I’m gonna—” 

Jungkook grunted as he finally reached his high; cock throbbing in his hands. His cum splattered all over your belly, a few white ropes hitting the underside of your tits as well; dripping down to your mound and pelvis as his movements started to slow down. Even then, so fucked-out and overwhelmed, Jungkook looked like a god you’d be more than happy to worship. 

“Fuck,” he heaved, hooded eyes trailing over your form. By some miracle, probably the work of some mysterious sports god, his jacket remained untouched. “That looks so hot.” 

You smiled, taking a glimpse at your body. “And messy.” 

He let out a breathy, tired laugh. “Yeah. Gonna clean you up, just give me a second. I almost blacked out here.” 

Playfully, you kicked the side of his thigh. “You better,” you told him. “And don’t be so melodramatic.” 

“Rude.” He leaned in, placing a kiss on your lips. You still felt like you were dreaming, trapped in an alternate reality. If that was the case, you didn’t want to wake up. “Next time I’ll cum in your mouth so you’ll learn some manners.” 

Next time. Those words fell like a stone inside your stomach. It was pretty much impossible to mask your lovesick gaze now. “Yeah, bold of you to believe it’ll change a thing.” You pushed him off you, signaling towards the bathroom. “Go, be a good boy and go get me a towel.” 

Jungkook rolled his eyes, but did as you said, leaving the bed soon after. “I liked you better when you were pretending to be my fake girlfriend,” he spoke from the corridor. “You were more polite.”

“I was acting,” you said. “This is what you’re gonna get.” 

He laughed, appearing back in the room. “Ah, well, I guess I made my choice years ago.” 

That managed to shut you up real fast, heart hammering against your ribcage as Jungkook started cleaning you up. His movements were tender on your skin, feather-like touches that moved up your abdomen, to your breasts, then back between your legs. During all that, a familiar, comfortable silence fell between you two — one that you had grown used to; so empty and yet so full. 

After he was done, Jungkook discarded the towel, returning to his rightful place next to you. Like it was your second nature, you curled yourself up next to him, head resting on his chest and his arm wrapping around your waist. 

The world was perfect for exactly thirty seconds before he decided to ruin it. “So…” Jungkook started, a mischievous smirk already curling on his lips, “you like like me.” 

You scoffed, propping your chin on his chest and meeting his gaze. Jungkook was too cute and too hot for his own good, and his post-sex state managed to incorporate both elements in a hazardous combination. “Yes. And you like like me back.” You remarked. “Did you seriously have to go through all these steps instead of just, I don’t know, telling me?” 

He threw his head back, eyes closing in sheer desperation. “I didn’t know!” 

“Everyone knew!” You exclaimed back, flabbergasted. You couldn’t believe that all those years of shared distress could’ve been solved with the most basic common sense. “Do you think I watch your games because I like them? I tell you all the time I hate sports! Dumbass!” 

Jungkook flinched when you slapped the top of his head lightly, forging pain. “Ouch! You’re the dumbass. And I thought you were kidding.” He pouted, eyes drifting off towards a corner of the room. You could tell he was thinking, so you gave him his time. “But now that you mention it…”

You rolled your eyes, laying back down. “Yeah, that’s not so hard to—”

“I cannot stand body horror.” 

“What?” You shrieked, sitting up at lightning speed. That managed to be the most unexpected thing Jungkook had told you that night — scratcher that: ever. “You told me you loved watching body horror with me.” 

He shook his head, an expression of disgust on his face as he was reminded of every horror movie he had ever watched. “I almost puke watching it. I just pretend I enjoy it because it makes you happy.” 

For a moment, your mouth hung open, mind working a million miles per hour to make sense of his admission. Thinking back to it, you had noticed how frequently Jungkook went to the bathroom while watching Tusk; about how many times he coughed and turned his head away from the Human Centipede. “Oh my god.” Your shoulders slumped, your voice was a frail little thing, filled by disbelief. You couldn’t call him dumb when you had acted just the same. “We’re both idiots.”

Jungkook laughed as you returned to your previous position, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “Yeah, I think that’s the only possible conclusion.”

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