tony: why the fuck are you giving me that look
stephen: you didn’t tell me it was your birthday
tony, shrugging: today isn’t a big deal
stephen: the hell it is, take your shirt off and come here
Peter: wow, I hope I can be as cool as you guys in 20 years
Steve, whispering to Tony: does he think we’re 50?
Tony: no, he’s just really bad at math
Peter, who can lift up to 10 tons in canon, carrying an elephant in his arms: this is my new pet
Tony, losing all colour in his face: okay okay oka cool cool cool cool-
Tony: We feel that if you met the right person…
Peter: Wait. Is this you or Steve talking?
Tony: He decided we’re one person.
matt : [feeling the braille on a door sign]
the braille : DO NOT TOUCH
matt , mumbling : aw fuck
Sigyn: Loki, apologise.
Loki: Alright, fine. I’m sorry
Thor: Thank you, apology accept-
Loki: SORRY THAT YOU’RE SUCH AN IDIOT! HA!
Sigyn: You’re grounded
I just can see Bucky having painted black nails 24/7
Thor could easily be a cottage core lesbian
Natasha: Maybe I’m dreaming. Pinch me.
Y/N: *Pinches her*
Natasha: Not on the butt.
Y/N: Sorry it was just there.
Tony is alone at home, in his workshop.
He then feels a movement upstairs and then;
Tony: *slowly puts on hand repulsor and goes upstairs*
Clint, aggressively screaming: HAPPY BIRTHD-
*INSERT REPULSOR NOISE*
Clint: OWWW shIT mY FO-
Nat, standing behind Clint with everyone else: *whispering to steve* You owe me 20 bucks.
Tony: The ten-year plan to make steve fall in love with me will have to stretch to fifteen, but the plan is definitely still in motion.
Thanos @ thor : so no head? *snap*
Angel enemy : Have you come to confess your sins?
Dean : Depends, how much time ya got?
Steve: What in God’s name is going on in here? What was that ruckus?
Y/N: Uh, what ruckus?
Steve: I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus.
Tony: Could you describe the ruckus, sir?
Okay, but… what would happen if during the fight in Wakanda, one of the wizards (wONG) opened a portal where they opened the barrier so that all of the goblins that were trying to get in just ended up in a volcano or something and died????
[Peter bursts into Tony’s workshop, holding a box]
Tony, jumping a foot into the air: Jesus, kid-
Peter, holding out the box: Happy birthday, Mr. Stark!
Tony, taking the box and opening it: How did you kn-
Tony: [pulls out a mug labeled ‘Best Dad Ever’]
Peter: ᴰᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᶦᵗˀ
Tony, choked up: It’s okay
Charles: how do you feel about pet names?
Erik: I mean, you have to call them something
Charles: that’s not-