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Peter
Welcome to my review channel. Today, we're reviewing hair products.
Peter
*sprays hairspray directly into his mouth*
Peter
Okay, I can tell you this one is not very good.
Tony, on the phone with the therapist
Yeah, so he's doing it again-
25 notes

Loki: You consider me your partner?

Tony: Yes. What else would I consider you?

Loki: I don’t know. An embarrassment? A way to piss off your friends?

Loki: A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.

Tony: Honey, we need to work on your self-esteem.

10 notes

i have a headcanon that harley keener really likes space

warning: very long post

  • peter loves biochem, right?
  • but harley loves physics and mechanics
  • which includes space
  • harley isn’t vocal about his interests, people (including tony and peter) assume that harley just loves mechanics
  • but harley thinks stars are pretty
  • he won’t admit that to anyone though bc he thinks it’s stupid
  • harley worked out that friday could display the sky
  • so when he goes to his room every night, he asks friday to project the sky onto his ceiling
  • so he’s almost stargazing, just inside instead of outside
  • harley also loves the science-y stuff behind the stars and planets too
  • he has solar system posters in his room
  • as i said, he keeps his interests to himself
  • and no one ever goes in his room - what’s the point in hanging out there when they have the penthouse living room?
  • the first person to ever pick up that he likes space (outside abby and macy) is peter

Keep reading

1 notes
Conversation
Tony
Do you think different paints have different tastes?
Peter
They do.
Tony
...Why did you say that with such certainty?
0 notes

Stephen: *bottles up emotion for ten years so it ages like a fine wine*

15 notes
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Getting older is easily the best way to guarantee that.

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11 notes

Whenever I like to check up on how Cap’s doing in quarantine, I decided to call it “Keeping Up With Cap”–not a good name, but it sticks with me. During this period, he’s had a thing with sweaters:


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Don’t believe me?:


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Also, he totally got rid of the lockdown beard. I had a very hard time recognising him. Now I remember that hairless face.

3 notes

Bernie Sanders was actually in the court when tony stark was called to discuss the ownership regarding his iron man armor.

x

PostPost
120 notes
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I need to get this off my chest. When I saw black widow in for the first time in the Iron man film, she was potrayed as a pretty girl who can fight. That’s all. A bit shallow don’t you think? Throughout he appearances in future film, she was always in the shadow of other characters which were usually male. There’s hardly any women in those movies. And they underestimate her so bad. She doesn’t have “special” abilities. Only her wit and strength which should make her so much more interesting and able than any other characters. In the age of ultron, she goes to the battle with guns. Fucking guns! Not only she survives, but she kicks ass. Still, I don’t know her. Through her relationship with Bruce I could see some slips of her humanity under the mask, but I don’t want a male character to show me that. It makes me feel sad that no one really focuses on her. It’s always someone with a suit, a hammer or a dick and I’m sick of that. In the end game, she was sacrificed for saving the universe, but I hardly cared because of her character. I cared because it was Scarlet not Natasha. It’s not because she can’t act. I saw her range in many movies. But the writers gave her so little that she can come off as just a badass with pretty face. And I don’t like that. I don’t like that there’s hardly any chemistry between her love interest or other Avengers other than Hawguy (i dunno how to spell it) and his family. I don’t like that she feels just like an object. She deserves so much better. This is just my opinion and Id like to hear what you think.

1 notes

A bright future for a bright kid. I have complete faith in Peter’s future successes and achievements. I’ll guide him throughout.

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Originally posted by sherlockstarwarsmarvel


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Originally posted by jn-wolf

Yes, I am aware I sometimes make Peter feel like he can’t do it, but I’m pushing him because I lov–care about him. I don’t want him to go through what I went through.


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Originally posted by jn-wolf

Which explains why I am so heavily emphasising on his safety. If he doesn’t understand me now, that’s fine, because he’s smart to work it out sooner.

He’d know that I was trying to protect him.

2 notes
  • Another round of BS from the team. Pepper called it the “Confession Session” (this was a while ago):

Tony has joined the chat》


Tony: Oh thank God. I’ve been avoiding that woman all week.


《Pepper has joined the chat》


Tony: Oh fu-


Pepper: DON’T START SWEARING ON THIS PLATFORM ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!


Tony: Don’t start screaming on this platform.


Pepper: I have two questions; Who was that woman you were with? AND what was she doing in your bed?


Tony: Pepper, I told you her name was Sandra and she was my physiotherapist.


Pepper: Bullshi-


Tony: No swearing on the platform, bi-


Pepper: -_-


Tony: Can I go now?


Pepper: NO!


Tony: Damn Pep, you want me that bad?


Pepper: Ha! Of course not! I’m asking you to stay because I’m calling all the Avengers here for a Confession Session.


Tony: Wha…


《Natasha has joined the chat》

《Steve has joined the chat》

《Thor has joined the chat》

《Clint has joined the chat》

《Bruce has joined the chat》


Bruce: What the hell is going on?


Natasha: Idk, Big Guy.


Thor: Mrs Stark, by what means have you called us on?


Pepper: It’s Potts and I am NOT Tony’s wife!


Thor: Girlfriend?


Clint: Woah XD


Tony: You’re pushing it, buddy.


Steve: Just tell us why we are here.


Pepper: You are all here for an Confession Session, where we will all share our deepest and darkest truths about each other.


Clint: Why?


Pepper: Because I feel the sense of trust has gone.


Thor: What is that supposed to mean?


Pepper: I feel like we are all keeping our tails between our legs.


Steve: That’s a bit of a weird analogy.


Tony: -_-


Natasha: So you want us to tell you any secrets we have about each other?


Pepper: Yeah.


Natasha: Well, Clint actually has a  Build-A-Bear called Quiver.


Clint: Fine tell them. I don’t really care. It wasn’t that bad.


Bruce: This is just the beginning, Barton.


Clint: Shi-


Steve: LaNgUaGe!


Pepper: A Build-A-Bear?


Tony: C'mon, Barton. That wasn’t deep or dark.


Thor: Although it did seem humiliating? Are you abashed, man of arrows?


Clint: Meh.


Thor: I’ll take that to be a yes.


Clint: Wait…wha-?


Natasha: Moving on…


Clint: I have something bad alright.


《Clint sends an embarrassing video of a drunk Tony streaking outside in public.》


Tony: I swear to God, Legolas. Tell them and you’ll lose the ‘leg’ in Legolas.


Bruce: What is it?


Steve: Do you have something to share, Starkie?


Tony: No, and never call me that again.


Steve: :(


Pepper: YOU’RE HIDING MORE SECRETS FROM ME!?!?


Tony: Everyone has secrets. Why do you care?


Pepper: ……


Thor: And I oop.


Bruce: Tha fuq?


Thor: What?


Clint: I’ll just tell you. Tony had one too many scotch bottles on Friday and decided to wear his birth clothes on the street.


Tony: Bi-


Natasha: Omfg. I-I can’t imagine. My eyes can’t.


Steve: I can. Must have been horrific.


Clint: Believe me, everything was so much to take in including-


Tony: HEY! Enough about me. What about you guys?


Thor: I heard, Lady Pepper, that the man of Iron knows your bra size.


Natasha: Uhm…


Tony: ……


Pepper: Tony? Have you been…checking me out?


Tony: Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?


Steve: Have you been fonduing with Pepper?


Tony: Oh fuq no! I’ve slept with way more attractive women than this one.


Bruce: Can this just be a Tony interrogation?


Clint: Sounds good to me.


Tony: Hey! I want out!


Natasha: Too late.


Pepper: Let’s lay off him a little.


Natasha: Why, hmm?


Clint: Yeah, why?


Thor: Indeed, why should we leave Fe-Man be?


Pepper: Because…he looks uncomfortable.


Tony: So you care about me?


Pepper: Ha. No.


Steve: We’ll see.

«Tony has left the chat»

«Steve has left the chat»

«Natasha has left the chat»

«Pepper has left the chat»

«Clint has left the chat»

«Thor has left the chat»

«Bruce has left the chat»

2 notes

Tony: Stephen will never agree to this plan.

Loki: Yes he will.

Tony: He already refused three times.

Loki: Okay, watch a master at work.

Loki, turning to Stephen with puppy dog eyes: Can we—

Stephen: Yes.

47 notes

Still talking to the team (The Avengers) and the Build-A-Bear (Rocket Raccoon) directs himself into the wrong chat:

《Natasha has joined the chat》

《Clint had joined the chat》

《Thor has joined the chat》

《Bruce has joined the chat》

《Tony has joined the chat》

《Rocket has joined the chat》


Tony: Hey everyone. Wait Rocket?? What are you doing here, man??


Bruce: How are you using a phone?


Thor: HeLlO sWeEt RabBiT!


Rocket: I think  I’m just gonna…


《Rocket has left the chat.》


Clint:  Congratulations, lightining butt, you scared him off.


Thor: Shut up! Maybe your mere mortal presence did.


Clint: Bit**. Sh** forgot the swear function had been disabled.


Thor: AhAhA! XD


Clint: -_-


Natasha: Where’s Steve?


Bruce:  Idk.


Tony: No one asked.


Natasha: I did, genius. -_-


Tony: Thanks, Nat. I don’t need to be told that I am a genius.


Natasha: -_-


《Steve had joined the chat》


Steve: Hello fellows!


Tony: Oh god.


Bruce: Hi Steve.


Steve: Hi Bruce.


Natasha: We all missed you- including Tony.


Tony: S-said who?


Thor: Does the Metal Man care?


Clint: Is that even meant to be in the same sentence?


Bruce: “Tony Stark cares about Steve Rogers.”


Steve:  :)


《Tony has left the chat》


Steve: :(


Natasha: No worries, Steve, we’ll get him next time.


Bruce: Anyone in for Schwarma?


《Everyone but Bruce leaves the chat》


Bruce: I’ll take your silence as a yes.


《Bruce has left the chat》

1 notes

Watch your words, Barton:

《Tony Stank has joined the chat》

《Steve has joined the chat》

《Clint has joined the chat》

《Bruce has joined the chat》

《Thor had joined the chat》

《Natasha has joined the chat》


《Steve has edited Tony’s name》


Tony Stank: Hey! Alright, who changed my name?


Steve: I haven’t the foggiest idea who it is….


Thor: Forget the name. Twinkies are the new cool.


Natasha: Thought you loved poptarts.


Thor: I have moved onto a new lover.


Natasha: -_-


Bruce: Well, this is awkward.


Clint: It already got awkward, Bruce.


Tony Stank: Can we just focus on changing my name back?


Steve:  Don’t worry, Tony, you’ll have your name back before you can say-


Thor: Twinkies are bae like you Midgardians say.


Clint: Nobody says that.


Thor: :(


Bruce: Forget it. Steve, change his name back.


Steve: Fine -_-


Tony Stank: So It WaS yOu!!


《Steve has left the chat》

《Tony Stank has left the chat》


《Tony has joined the chat》


Natasha: Hi again. Kinda stinks that you didn’t keep the user.


Tony: Ha-ha very funny, Nat.


Clint: Hilarious, in fact.


《Steve has joined the chat》


《Steve gets rickrolled》


Steve: What in the good golly Molly is this?


Bruce: I believe you’ve been rickrolled.


Steve: -_-


Bruce: Ok. Not helpful?


Natasha: Basically, you’ve been tricked into clicking a website and now you see a man dancing in a white suit.


Steve: I don’t want that. I want the live bingo game to come back up.


Thor: Ahaha, poor mortal man.


Tony: Give me your phone, Steve.


《Tony stopped the rickroll》


Steve: Ah.


Clint: I actually enjoyed Steve struggling for a bit.


Natasha: Barton, that’s not nice.


Clint: Eh well. Fun while it lasted right Banner?


Bruce: No. -_-


Clint: Losers.


《Natasha has left the chat》

《Bruce has left the chat》

《Thor has left the chat》

《Tony has left the chat》

《Steve has left the chat》


Clint: When I said losers I meant the others, guys. Guys?

2 notes