Tony: Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We’re too good! We owe it, to sex!
Pepper: Well, if we owe it!
Tony: [picks her up]
Pepper: When is Peter going to be home?
Tony: Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him
Tony: We all have our demons
Tony: [puts his hand on Peter’s shoulder]
Tony: This one’s mine
MJ: Peter, you’re so cute
Peter: By cute do you mean you wanna frick frack or do you mean I look twelve?
Clint: Okay, wait, I have an idea. You gotta call out ‘babe’ and see who looks up first
Clint: I’ll go first
Clint: BABE!
Tony: Lmao, nobody even flinched
Clint: You try then
Tony: I will… BABE!
Pepper: What?
Steve: Yeah?
Natasha: You called?
Clint: What the fu-
Peter: Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad?
May: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated
Tony: Smad
Rhodey: Tony, what are you doing?
Tony: I’m helping Peter look for his chocolate that I ate last night
Peter: [very sleep deprived] Fill your body with cranberries to give the horse that kills you a nice surprise when it starts to eat you
Harley: [equally as sleep deprived] I will give him no such luxury
Peter: [yawning] It’s okay I’ll add them after
Tony: Guys, please- I-
Peter: Chillax!
Tony: That’s not a real word!
Peter: Looks like someone needs to chillax
Clint: The five girls that will absolutely ruin your life:
1) Natasha
2) Agent Romanoff
3) Black Widow
4) Scary redhead from the Avengers
5) Natalie Rushman
Clint: Natasha if you’re reading this please bring my goldfish back
Peter: Can Centaurs slap their own ass to go faster?
Tony:
Tony: Alright that’s it, I’m sending you back to Queens
Tony: What are you, 5?
Peter: [muttering] 5 heads taller than you
Tony:
Peter: I’m sorry please don’t kill me
Steve: Truth or dare
Tony: Truth
Steve: When was the last time you slept?
Tony: I meant dare
Natasha: Go to sleep
Tony: I don’t like this game
Clint: I was arrested for being too cool
Natasha: [walking by] The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence
Tony: Fury once told us all to shut up because he was going to say something important
Tony: I immediately thought of Barton dancing to Mexican music
Tony:
Tony: To this day I have no idea what he said
Peter: Sometimes I pour hot chocolate powder into cold milk. I call it Special Drink
Tony: Someday you’ll call it by it’s true name - Diabetes
Sam: What is Love?
Steve, showing off his pop culture knowledge: Baby don’t hurt me…
Bucky: I would never hurt you Steve
Steve: No, Buck it’s a-
Bucky: I will never let anyone hurt you