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#incorrectmarvelquotes

Tony: Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We’re too good! We owe it, to sex!


Pepper: Well, if we owe it!


Tony: [picks her up]


Pepper: When is Peter going to be home?


Tony: Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him

142 notes

Clint: Okay, wait, I have an idea. You gotta call out ‘babe’ and see who looks up first

Clint: I’ll go first

Clint: BABE!


Tony: Lmao, nobody even flinched


Clint: You try then


Tony: I will… BABE!


Pepper: What?


Steve: Yeah?


Natasha: You called?


Clint: What the fu-

305 notes

Peter: Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad?


May: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated


Tony: Smad

235 notes

Peter: [very sleep deprived] Fill your body with cranberries to give the horse that kills you a nice surprise when it starts to eat you


Harley: [equally as sleep deprived] I will give him no such luxury


Peter: [yawning] It’s okay I’ll add them after


Tony: Guys, please- I-

512 notes

Clint: The five girls that will absolutely ruin your life:

1) Natasha

2) Agent Romanoff

3) Black Widow

4) Scary redhead from the Avengers

5) Natalie Rushman


Clint: Natasha if you’re reading this please bring my goldfish back

464 notes
Conversation
Steve
I'm with you till the end of the line.
Bucky
Thanks Steve, that's nice, but I'm trying to use the bathroom here.
69 notes

Steve: Truth or dare


Tony: Truth


Steve: When was the last time you slept?


Tony: I meant dare


Natasha: Go to sleep


Tony: I don’t like this game

341 notes

Clint: I was arrested for being too cool


Natasha: [walking by] The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence

294 notes

Tony: Fury once told us all to shut up because he was going to say something important

Tony: I immediately thought of Barton dancing to Mexican music

Tony:

Tony: To this day I have no idea what he said

242 notes

Peter: Sometimes I pour hot chocolate powder into cold milk. I call it Special Drink


Tony: Someday you’ll call it by it’s true name - Diabetes

194 notes
Conversation
<div> Calm Yelling </div>
Bruce
Your tone is always so calm, I love that about you. How do you do it?
Y/N
I'm never 'calm' doctor, I'm just always yelling in lowercase.
46 notes
Tony
Suit?
Peter
check
Tony
Extra web canisters?
Peter
check
Tony
did you have breakfast?
Peter
what? that wasn’t on the checklist!
Tony
i added it because i care about you. there’s a breakfast bar in your pocket
Peter
ooh it has chocolate chips!
Tony
yeah no shit, i know how to trick my spider child into eating his fiber
17 notes

Sam: What is Love?

Steve, showing off his pop culture knowledge: Baby don’t hurt me…

Bucky: I would never hurt you Steve

Steve: No, Buck it’s a-

Bucky: I will never let anyone hurt you

19 notes
Conversation
<div> Where's Wallet?! </div>
Y/N
I made a new game!
Clint
Cool, about what?
Y/N
So you know "Where's Waldo?"
Clint
Yea.
Y/N
My game is called, "Where's Wallet?"
Clint
... I don't wanna play.
Y/N
Check your pockets
Clint
I hate your stupid face.
Y/N
:)
13 notes