Tony: Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We’re too good! We owe it, to sex!

Pepper: Well, if we owe it!

Tony: [picks her up]

Pepper: When is Peter going to be home?

Tony: Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him

Tony: We all have our demons

Tony: [puts his hand on Peter’s shoulder]

Tony: This one’s mine

MJ: Peter, you’re so cute

Peter: By cute do you mean you wanna frick frack or do you mean I look twelve?

Clint: Okay, wait, I have an idea. You gotta call out ‘babe’ and see who looks up first

Clint: I’ll go first

Clint: BABE!

Tony: Lmao, nobody even flinched

Clint: You try then

Tony: I will… BABE!

Pepper: What?

Steve: Yeah?

Natasha: You called?

Clint: What the fu-

Peter: Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad?

May: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated

Tony: Smad

Rhodey: Tony, what are you doing?

Tony: I’m helping Peter look for his chocolate that I ate last night

Peter: [very sleep deprived] Fill your body with cranberries to give the horse that kills you a nice surprise when it starts to eat you

Harley: [equally as sleep deprived] I will give him no such luxury

Peter: [yawning] It’s okay I’ll add them after

Tony: Guys, please- I-

Peter: Chillax!

Tony: That’s not a real word!

Peter: Looks like someone needs to chillax

Clint: The five girls that will absolutely ruin your life:

1) Natasha

2) Agent Romanoff

3) Black Widow

4) Scary redhead from the Avengers

5) Natalie Rushman

Clint: Natasha if you’re reading this please bring my goldfish back

Peter: Can Centaurs slap their own ass to go faster?

Tony:

Tony: Alright that’s it, I’m sending you back to Queens

Tony: What are you, 5?

Peter: [muttering] 5 heads taller than you

Tony:

Peter: I’m sorry please don’t kill me

Steve: Truth or dare

Tony: Truth

Steve: When was the last time you slept?

Tony: I meant dare

Natasha: Go to sleep

Tony: I don’t like this game

Clint: I was arrested for being too cool

Natasha: [walking by] The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence

Tony: Fury once told us all to shut up because he was going to say something important

Tony: I immediately thought of Barton dancing to Mexican music

Tony:

Tony: To this day I have no idea what he said

Peter: Sometimes I pour hot chocolate powder into cold milk. I call it Special Drink

Tony: Someday you’ll call it by it’s true name - Diabetes

Sam: What is Love?

Steve, showing off his pop culture knowledge: Baby don’t hurt me…

Bucky: I would never hurt you Steve

Steve: No, Buck it’s a-

Bucky: I will never let anyone hurt you