Tony: How’s life treating you kid?

Peter: [face down on the table] Like I just shot it’s dog

[Peter trying to stifle his laughter, while hiding in the vents] : Mr. White Wolf will never find me up here.

[Bucky looking around for Peter]: Peter this isn’t funny, where are you?

[Peter’s quiet laughter intensifies as he watches Bucky be clueless]

[Clint silently appearing behind Peter] : What are you laughing at Spider-baby?

[Peter screaming in surprise and falling through the vent and onto the floor in front of Bucky]: Oh hi Mr. White Wolf

[Bucky, unable to contain his laughter]: Thank you Clint, now, what does this message mean?

[Bucky points at his metal arm that has ‘GM Mr.WW’ in magnets on it]

Peter: Oh it means ‘Good Morning Mr. White Wolf’.

[Bucky, his face softening into a faint smile]: Good morning to you too Spidey

Steve: I'm with you till the end of the line.

Bucky: Thanks Steve, that's nice, but I'm trying to use the bathroom here.

Tony: you know, Thor, I don't care what everyone else says. I think you're pretty smart.

Thor: :-)

Thor: :-O

Thor: |:-|

Calm Yelling

Bruce: Your tone is always so calm, I love that about you. How do you do it?

Y/N: I'm never 'calm' doctor, I'm just always yelling in lowercase.

Peter: Can I have your number?

Tony: You already have my phone number-?

Peter: No, your PIN number I’m broke

[Harley puts trick candles on Peter’s birthday cake that don’t blow out]

Harley: Haha now your wish can’t come true

Peter: Lucky for you I wished Tony would ship you back to Tennessee

Tony: Did you guys do your homework?

Peter: We had homework?

Harley: We had school?

Tony: We’re very professional here in the lab

[later]

Peter and Harley: [wrestling on the floor]

Tony: Alright guys the next person to fart on someone else is getting a Wet Willy from Happy

Peter: Mr Stark I’ve got this weird lump growing on the side of my neck?

Tony: That’s your head, buddy

Bucky: [speaking into his arm that is recording] Day 14 in the Soul Stone, so far no notable incidents, people are finding various ways to amuse themselves. Right now the tree creature is singing “I am Groot” to the tune of Despacito, the greatest song of all time according to Spider-Boy. I can not detect any animosity between-

Peter: But why a falcon... why not- let’s say- and ostrich?

Bucky: Correction, Wilson is about to murder a minor. I have to go.

Peter: I love sleepovers

Tony: This isn’t a sleepover you’re in the Medbay

Peter: But we got special drinks

Tony: That’s a blood transfusion you’re very hurt

Peter: Truth or dare

Tony:

Peter:

Tony: Dare

Bruce: TONY

Harley: [placing down a card] King of Hearts

Peter: [places down a Pokemon card] Squirtle

Rhodey: What are they playing?

Tony: [sighing] Uno

Harley: [drunk] Are we best friends?

Peter: [equally as drunk] Of course

Harley: Would you give me a kidney?

Peter: I would give you my left one

Harley: Well I want the right one

Peter: Well that’s just unreasonable

Tony: What are you listening to?

Peter: A relaxation tape. Apparently rain sounds can help with anxiety

Tony: Is it working?

Peter: No the tape just made me have to pee and I had my panic attack on the toilet

Tony: [Moving to give Peter a hug]

Peter: [flinches]

Tony: Why’d you move?

Peter: I thought you were gonna hit me

Tony: I was gonna hug you

Peter: Why would you hug me?

Tony: WHY WOULD I HIT YOU?

Peter: [studying] Did you know that jellyfish have survived for thousands of years without brains?

Natasha: A ray of hope for Barton over there

Tony: [takes a deep breath] Today is gonna be a good day

Tony: [deep breath] There’s going to be no bullshit

Tony: [opens the door to see Peter standing there]

Peter: My shoes are on the roof again

Tony: [closes the door]

Morgan: Dad, I’m a big girl, I don’t want dinosaur nuggets

Peter and Harley: [home from MIT for the weekend, sitting across the table after having a ketchup fight] Rawr rawr rawr rawr

Tony: Did you get any sleep at all last night?

Peter: Like 20 minutes? It’s fine you’re not even that blurry