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#sam wilson incorrect quotes
Sam: [gets down on one knee]
Bucky: Oh my god, it’s finally happening
Sam: [falls over]
Bucky: The poison is kicking in
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bucky, at the movie theatre: 13?! 13 DOLLARS FOR A TICKET?!
sam: bucky-
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directorofmylife · 5 days ago
Bucky: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol and an inside wound with drinking alcohol.
Sam: What?
Bucky: It's science.
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directorofmylife · 9 days ago
Sam: So, what do you think of the internet?
Bucky: Twitter is stupid and Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read.
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Natasha: Did either of you even take a moment to think about how bad that idea was?
Sam: Yes, of course we did.
Bucky: We just decided to ignore it.
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Bucky: Astrology is fun because i can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Pisces and not symptoms of mental illness.
Sam: Being a Pisces is a mental illness. That’s not hate, that’s just a fact
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Bucky: All right, Sam, we tried things your way.
Sam: No we didn’t.
Bucky: I tried it in my head, and it didn’t work. So as I was saying, my plan—
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Sam: How do I deal with my enemies?
Bucky: Kill them.
Sam: That sounds a little extreme. I was hoping for something a little more passive?
Natasha: Dismember them.
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incorrectquotesmcu · 13 days ago
Carol: So you still haven’t told me. What do you think counts as sex?
Sam: I don’t know. Having an orgasm.
Carol: Well, if that was the case, that would mean thousands of women who are married with children have never had sex.
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b0n3-h34d · 16 days ago
sam: hey arent you that wiener soldier guy
sam: *winter lol sorry autocorrect
bucky: this is a verbal conversation
bucky: also what is autocorrect
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monlieudevie · 17 days ago
Bucky: You're a cheat, a liar and a piece of shit! You're not the person I decided to partner up with.
Sam: Great! Then it's over between us, I get all our property and you'll have to pass me a pension.
Y/N: *looking at them wide-eyed as he/she slowly removes the Monopoly board*.
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monlieudevie · 18 days ago
Sam: "Has anyone seen Bucky?"
Y/N: "No, why?"
Sam: "He left another one of his erotic novels in the living room again."
*Y/N looks up”
Y/N: "Hey, that's my diary! Wait, did you read it?!"
Sam: "Wh-? Wait, this is your diary?"
Y/N: "Yes!!!" *taking it out of his hands*
Sam: "Okay. First of all I didn't know it was your diary, secondly why are you leaving it in the living room? And thirdly, when are you going to bring out the sequel?"
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