#maybe some other month/next year

[babyjapril]

one Jackson set a day for February

#greysedit #gaedit #jackson avery #harriet kepner-avery #grey's anatomy #userlolo #mine #jacksonfebruary #13x05 #i can't believe tomorrow is the last one!!! #ik only like 2 people beside me care!! #but i always see moments i could have giffed jfjsjhs #maybe some other month/next year

[lilydvoratrelundar]

Give me the strength to not get into a fight with my unis jewish society over instagram.

#full of zionists. not even worth arguing with cos so many of them refuse to believe the country theyre from might suck #and the others are british but just either baked in the propaganda or willing to sit with what everyone else says and not argue #if u were gonna have a 'dont argue about israel' policy it should go both ways. #i havent been to any of their events in months and ngl i may just not even get membership next year #but they keep posting shit on their insta and they exclusively just run the ujs party line (which is zionist) #the one today wasnt even so bad but im still. ugh. why is the fucking society for Jewish students a political entity istg. #maybe I'll get more involved in palestine solidarity soc at some point.

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family

#fucking hell #it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister #who was equally dreading the day #my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt #then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present) #multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way. #combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high #weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells. #this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing. #then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on. #my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence #i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum #who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?) #me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting. #Which amuses the bored and the deaf #but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed #they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes #finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism* #still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously #(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something) #me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room #and made things appear that should not be there #I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go #you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room. #i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear #I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that. #the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well #she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer #maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk. #can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important

[pepsinister]

Lots of reactions to today’s Staff post, so here’s another one in the ring.

I’m not so alarmist as to think that the changes Staff laid out today are going to kill tumblr, I think they’ll annoy most of us and drop a few users but ultimately blow over because they’re less egregious than what every other site is up to right now. Also, even though I don’t like the changes, I do like the way Staff is publicizing them.

But I do see a clear pattern in Tumblr’s recent moves - bolder merchandise marketing via Emporium, scrambling for engagement metrics with Tumblr Live, more aggressive prompts to sign in to see content, etcetera. Some members of staff have even publicly said outright that tumblr needs to start making money. What this pattern tells me is that Tumblr as a business entity has probably been given a deadline by which to become profitable or at least financially break even, and what we’re seeing is an aggressive push to meet that goal.

I don’t think Tumblr is going to work out the secret recipe to profitable social media, nobody except Facebook ever has, and nobody else is in the niche that Facebook is in. The secret recipe probably just doesn’t exist outside of that niche. Everything else that any of us do on social media is costing somebody a TON of money that they want to one day recoup.

So my guess is that Tumblr is going to shut down in the near future, not because of these unpopular changes but the other way around.

#other thoughts: #the various fediverses springing up are cool but I don’t expect them to last #not at large scale at least #they’re just taking the social media profitability problem and dividing it up into little unprofitable chunks #other other thoughts: #Reddit’s CEO said last month that they’re not profitable AND that he wants to follow Musk’s Twitter strategy #On it’s face it sounds charitably completely boneheaded #but maybe to a non-layperson perspective Musk is making the right moves? #which would make Twitter maybe the BEST CASE scenario for non-Facebook social media #which is. sad. #Also. I don’t mean ‘near future’ as in like next week. probably a year or two. or more or less #Also also. I’m just some guy! Would be thrilled to be wrong here

[antisocialxconstruct]

.

#auuuughhghghg I am thinking about. The Hustle™ #I understand why people gravitate toward stickers and pins and charms and zines and such #I've been mildly successful with commissions in the past but right now I'm really in the headspace of like #I can NOT be giving that much time to other people just for the added income. I'll never finish a single personal project that way :/ #I would much rather dedicate a chunk of time to designing something and making it available #and just letting people have it whenever they want. and maybe the most ongoing work I need to do is weekly post office trips :| #I am serious about re-launching my enamel pins next year but I have to remake all the templates 😭 #bc the original AI files are all on my old nearly-dead imac... #but also stickers. low manufacture cost low resale so maybe they move faster? #also toying with the idea of selling some of my cross stitch patterns 🤔 NOT the pomegranates. #that's probably not gonna have super wide appeal but like. I made them for myself anyway might as well let other people have em for a few $ #all this because my dad may not be able to help me cover therapy costs next year :||| so that extra $500 a month has to come from SOMEWHERE #I hate capitalism I hate having to exist!! exhausting!!!!!!

[galactichelium]

I will not do the exercises given to me by my physio, whether that be because I forgot or I'm having executive dysfunction, and then be like "Man why am I in so much pain?"

#AUGH. Hate how I need to do exercises just so I can be in less pain + maybe reach an average level of strength #I have hypotonia so. Even my 16 year old sibling of whom I'm ~3 inches taller than is stronger than me #And I have noodle arms 😭 Which look especially silly compared to my stocky torso #I still need to try the other things the rheumatologist recommended #CBT therapy and a med she wants me to ask my psychiatrist abt to make sure it won't interfere with my ADHD meds #She also suggested hydrotherapy but. I'm a bit more nervous abt that considering I'm pre-top surgery. #My binders SAY that you can wear them swimming safely + are chlorine resistant but they say they're a lot harder to take off wet. #Which I worry means I'd need to get someone else to take it off of me. Which like. Augh. BUT YEAH anyway. #Iron text #Edit: Sorry a little bit more actually #My next psychiatrist appt isn't until late this month. And I am. Afraid to go through all the things I need to do to get to therapy. #With the public healthcare system you can get I think 8 psychologist appts for free per year if you get a mental health plan w your gp #But I think it also depends on the psychologist? Some might require you to pay regardless? I'm not sure #I've been to psychologists before but neither of them were that great and I'm worried it's gonna be similarly difficult now

[arnold-layne]

i love my job. also it makes me wanna kill myself

#im not lying: i do love it #its exciting and im working with what i love and the people are lovely #but every morning i want to collapse with a 39 degree temperature just to not go to work #its the commute and the obligation to work at an office i think. uncomfortable enviroment with people constantly watching you #and uncomfortable clothes too. why do i have to shower every other day its HARD #honestly i do think all these problems would be resolved if i could just work from home #but not in my poisition. and its not soon when i will be able to take on some remote work #not to mention that the remote work i am capable of doing brings in even less money. at least at the start #ill have to stay where i am at least until i graduate. which is only happening next year #ugh. why do i have to live this life like this #maybe when we move next month it will be easier. my commute is gonna be 3 times shorter #and im gonna have a cat!!!! sweet amazing kitty cat i ‘inherit’ from my sister whos moving abroad #shes the sweetest creature on earth #and were finally gonna slee on a double bed not a twin #sleep* #not to mention waking up 40 minutes later #it seems like little but in the morning its a huge deal #arnold’s laments

[chickie-birdies]

Hello, it's been a while!

Today I accidentally acquired two baby Wyandottes

#so here's the situation #a friend of my mom got 6 chicks but can only have 4. so she asked if i could take two of them #but i want to move out in the next year or so if i can and I'll have to leave my chickens behind in my mom's care #i already have 12 which is already too many for her to care for without me #so i said sure I'll take the babies BUT I'll be looking for a new home for them #luckily my sister's friend wants more chickens so she said she'll take em #great! except when the babies arrived i found out my mom didn't mention that I won't be keeping them #so now i feel bad giving them away #what's more I'm pretty sure one is a cockerel and the home i was sending them to eats their roosters #so now i feel doubly bad bc these chicks' previous owner clearly loves them and was happy that i was taking them #so HOOOUUUUHHHGGGHHH okay #yes hello conscience you win. I'm keeping the babies #for now! #i have another home lined up for some of my chickens when i do move out so i guess it's fine if i add two more in the meantime #i am also going to give a couple of my hens away next month to the person i was going to give the chicks to #probably margaret and penelope and maybe one other but idk yet. it's a hard choice :( #they'll be well cared for but I'll miss them #oh btw these chicks were named tofu and dumpling by their last owner and those are cute names so I'll probably keep them #whew i am exhausted after all that

[kendallroygf]

the thing is. yeah kendall feels like his whole life now is worth nothing. the one thing he was always meant to do, since he was seven years old he now cannot do. he will never get to do it. so he might as well die, right? he might as well end it all but the thing is life is never that kind nor generous. so i think kendall will try and fail. and he’ll try again and again but the world will keep its grip on him and eventually he’ll just stop trying. and yeah maybe he’ll never be a whole person (we’re nothing) maybe he’ll take logan’s advice and collect sports cars or write a book or start a new company but either way he’ll be forced to start anew. kendall logan roy died it’s just kendall now. and this outcome in itself is generous in a way because circumstances out of his control have kind of forced him to hold some accountability for his own life finally instead of counting on broken promises his father made him at 7 years old. he’s actually being forced to Be instead of just living up to someone else’s name. and he actually has people around him who still undoubtedly care. he’s sick and horrible and twisted but he is still ultimately lovable. he is still a human being weeping on the dirty ground even though he has spent so long trying not to be. even though he recanted the very thing that made him Real. the world will simply not relinquish its hold on him! tragic but somewhat hopeful in a way

#like he’s never going to be happy. never ever. but being content or even ambivalent to your life is different than being happy and i truly #think kendall could get there at some point. something about the world forcing you to go on. i like how his last scene was surrounded by #earth and water. things that are Materially Real compared to kendall himself who is Not Real. like i think while some things can’t be #repaired it’s not too late for him to be a little bit involved in his kids lives. maybe a few years down the line. rava still cares about #him and offers him so much kindness even when she shouldn’t. he will have stewy forever like. stewy will love him forever. give roman a few #months. ultimately i think roman will push kendall away at first bc he spent this whole season maintaining his family out of Necessity and #i think kendall and roman have got to a place where it’s a bit sick. and roman will come around but he needs some time and so does kendall. #but ultimately they’ll be okay. #with shiv it’s like. well. god. like kendall will never ever be able to look tom in the eye ever. but i think they will not talk for years #maybe. but they’ll ache for each other a little bit. but also the resent and anger and hurt gets in the way. but i think give it like. 10 #years or idk maybe even less but 10 seems good to me. and they’ll slowly start to let each other in again. i think the three of them will #grow old together like ultimately they’ll always be kids when they’re with each other ykwim. #but idk i think kenshiv will be okay in the end jus rn it’s bleak asf. i think at different times in the next few years they will Try with #each other but the other will be so resistant but there will be a time where they’re just both so Tired and when tom dies shiv will call #kendall first even though they maybe haven’t spoken for god knows how long and he will be with her on the phone. and when connor passes away #they will hold hands again and idk. they’ll be okay. broken but okay. #anyway. i’m so over this <- girl who will never ever be over it #kendall

[jacobied]

feeling fucked up tonight<3

#i cant stop being stupid and insane about my book MAYBE not even definitive yet getting a french translation like haha what if i did some #hot girl shit and called it off and died ? :3 #i havent drawn or written anything Good in like months i feel like removing my bones from my body like god get ouT im so stuck on everythin #and now i dont even want to do the Good Cool Thing thats right in front of me for god knows what reason other than im fucking crazy #also every other week i realize tht i will nawt be able to get anything meaningful out of therapy [as if i can afford it lol<3] for minimum #the next couple years bc if i bring up me being lonely me being isolated they're just gonna tell me to stop being scared of covid<3 #like girlie said that to me in 2021 ! the vaccine was JUST out lol like the fuck ? what the fuck ? guess i'll die here ! #jade.exe

[bubblesthemonsterartist]

@chrysopoeias tagged me on this back in SEPTEMBER and now that I am done with moving and (mostly) done furnishing my new place and recovered from Covid, I am finally getting around to it!

Last song: Beneath the Brine, The Family Crest

Last show: I caught up with Spy x Family!

Current show: I am currently between new shows, but I am supplementing with the various Queer Eye series and am eyeballing Sandman

Currently reading: Browolf.. I mean, Beowulf, trans. Maria Dahvana Headley. I was having a lot of fun reading it out loud, but I got distracted but I hope to finish it soon!

Current obsessions: Hmm.. Probably @onedivinemisfit's Camboy!Obi AU. Because she's out here COMING FOR MY LIFE

tagging @another-miracle @puffdragongirl @imsotiredcanipleasegetabreak

#about me! meme #things have been wild this year y'all #i got rid of almost all my worldly possessions #moved to the other side of the country #my dad died #then i moved AGAIN #and last week after nearly three years of avoiding it i got The Covid #here's to the next couple of months having some chill and stability #with a lot more fun times! #(i also finished a third graduate degree and am doing work i'm really passionate about #so the trajectory is largely positive #i realize now that i maybe the earlier tags would be worrying! #but i'm in a really good place compared to where i was at the beginning of the year!)

[spyderverse]

blah blah here are my current art goals for 2023 <3

focus more on character design/concept art

actually practice figure/gesture drawing

draft some short comic scripts

#posting these so they dont just bounce around in my head for the next 12 months #first goal is the main one because i really want to improve in my area so thats gonna be my focus #second goal is for overall improvement + getting better at anatomy #right now whenever i draw any figures they are sooooo stiff and im gonna change that this year #third goal is just for fun for now :) i need to get started building out this story i wanna work on so then maybe next year (lol) #ill feel confident enough to tackle it #plus draw some short comics this year too #anyways. this is probably me oversharing but whatever #also this should probably go on my art blog but idc! #and then some other small things i wanna do are reformat my portfolio (later in the year) & maybe start doing freelance stuff if i can #on top of my other work #okay im done talking now <3 ciao #p

[loverboybitch]

𓆩♡𓆪 crazy that there are infinities inside me for real.//.

#imjustsittinghere #my friend texted me from berlin right now just like #he said all the outfits hes seen so far are crazy and that id love it there #he said its montreal if montreal was serious lol #literally how i was like maybe ill move tomontreal or berlin like. if that isnt serendipitous #gonna make my way there one day i swear #maybe ill actually make a plan for next year #think i might try to spend some time in malta maybe meet up with some friends in berlin? would be kind of cool for like a week or something #spend a month in malta if i can maybe? #ideally if i could get someone to sublet my room in toronto that would be perfect so i wouldnt waste all my rent money #but if i hold onto my job i can bring my laptop there and work a couple shifts so its not like a complete write off u know? #maybe next fall...thatd be the fun time to go i think anyway n gives me a lot of time to save up #if i can stop myself from spending money on clothes i could fr do it lol #jus gotta focus on making my own #n i just got a brand new dope ass hoodie so im satiated for now #extremly jealous tho my friends are in berlin rn and going to paris for a couple days #going montreal at least tho next weekend with some other friends n going skiing n probably to a cool skate bar #at least thats hype <3 #on my evil villain arc which really just means im trying to be less scared and follow my dreams a little #hope it works : ) #really do love the whole my boss said i look like a villain thing tho im latching onto that heavy #kind of been playing with this creative space/idea of embracing the lil demon imp that lives in me so it just seems very timely and fitting #jsut really identifying with the word imp idk more on that later

[swildy]

yearly summary of art

#'maybe next year i'll start drawing again' i say and when that next year comes i almost leave 7-11 months blank ha ha hha ha .... . . #im surprised i found even one sketch for those spring months #i mean if not counting art fight month pretty much all of these are the only thing i drew that month h eh. .. . . #....maybe next year?? #maybe i should buy a new computer i could use for other things than drawing then i would accidentally start drawing when doing something els #maybe i should finally get an actual desk for my computer so i wouldnt murder my back every time i even looked towards my computer #maybe i should start being creative at other hours of day than after midnight which is pretty inconvinient if u have to wake up before six #summary of art #no but actually if i wanted to start drawing again i really probably should get back into rping so i could get back into thinking only about #my rp characters which would make me draw my rp characters #or i should get like Super Obsessed™ with some piece of media again that might work too #pity there currently isnt really any finnish forum rpgs that i know of that interest me and idk how to find that Next New Piece of Media #it's not like i control what i latch onto so i could start watching/reading something with that on mind

[imbellarosa]

.

#i don’t know what I’m doing w my life but actually #I’m pretty happy #I’ve got people I love a lot and Louie and some place to go home to #loads of places to go home to #so idk what this is gonna look like a year from now #and that’s something I think about a lot like - maybe #maybe my friends will leave this town and maybe it’s just gonna be me and one other person left #or maybe I’ll move in w my best mate bc our other friend will finally make it to Scotland #or maybe one of the guys I’m sort of seeing will step up and say no I’m ready to properly be w you #or maybe I’ll fall in love w a completely new person and never look back #maybe my research project will be going downhill over and over and over #or maybe I’ll have done a large part of it and be hitting all my deadlines #maybe I’m still teaching #maybe I can’t be #maybe I’ll go back to Belgium w Louie for a month #or by myself for a weekend #or w J if he can choose to get out of this town #or w T to Italy if he can pull his head out of his ass #maybe the next guy that asks me out won’t be drunk in our local pub #maybe everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt maybe I’ll have written more poems #maybe I’ll have forgiven anyone I ever need to and everyone will have forgiven me #but today I’m happy #it’s the end of the year and my one year anniversary w Louie and I’m going to my friends place to do brunch w them #and some people kind of like me sometimes #i say things

[coldvampire]

.

#first class today! #went fine #only recognized the prof lmfao after three years of being in the program with the same people.. #but like half the class didnt show up and everyone p much booked it when it was time to leave. which is fair i guess i was also eager to go #home (i drove there yall i am a commuter now ghgjhgj) #but i wouldnt have minded if people loitered a bit made small talk idk #i guess since most people were already there tuesday maybe it didnt feel necessary?? whomst knows #i would have liked it ghjk let me make the small talk please a lecture room with 12 people in it isnt a great environment #for that sort of thing #i did get some weird looks from people though and ik thats kinda expected but still like ghjk feels bad have some decorum im gonna be in #the room w you for the next few months #be nice to me gfhj #i am wondering tho if like. most of the other people there just dont have the same isolation issues i do... hm.