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dydia · 8 years

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Imagine Deputy Stilinski escorting this piggy back to the Hale farm and has to hand her over to Derek :D - macon [.] com/news/local/community/houston-peach/article69927212 [.] html - The part where the pig takes a shine to him and now Stiles has an excuse to drop by the Hale farms bringing apples and stuff to "Miss Piggy". "No Stiles, that's not her name" "Then what is it?" Quietly, "Delilah". Cue Stiles dissolving into laughter but also too hung up on Derek.

I’M CRYING OH MY GOD.

HERE IS THE ARTICLE, EVERYONE GO READ IT

Stiles finds out from Facebook.

And really, he’s deeply disappointed in his father. Is it really that hard to pick up his phone and say “Hey dearest son, you’ll never believe what I’m doing right now!” while walking a pig down the road.

But noooooo, Stiles doesn’t here about his father’s encounter with a pig until old Mrs. Wilcox from the library makes a Facebook post about it. Of course, this means that Stiles absolutely needs to duck out of his summer internship early and speed back to Beacon Hills to see this spectacle for himself.

Thanks to the Beacon County Sheriff’s department’s twitter updates (Jordan Parrish is a fucking blessing in the form of a ripped cinnamon roll) Stiles catches up with his father and the pig out on Breakheart Hill Road. It’s comical really, watching his dad amble slowly up the road alongside the largest pig he’s ever seen in his life. Stiles snaps a pic and sends it to the group chat his friends from high school (and Jackson and Isaac too. He does not count them as friends. Acquaintances maybe), grinning as Scott starts to flip out and Allison and Lydia start to coo.

Shoving the phone in his pocket, Stiles pulls up alongside his dad, swerving slightly as he leans across the front seat and rolls down the window.

“It’s embarrassing that I had to find out about this on social media,” he starts before his dad even looks at him, glancing briefly back at the winding background ahead. “How hard would it have been to face time me? I know you’ve been updating Parrish. He keeps tweeting about it.”

“Hi Stiles, I’m wonderful, how are you?” His father says dryly, as if there isn’t a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. “It’s always such a wonderful surprise to see my son when he’s supposed to be at work.”

“Dad.” Stiles gestures at the pig. “What's happening right now is way more important than filing papers okay. This is the most exciting thing to happen in Beacon Hills since I left for college.”

“And I wonder why that is,” his dad huffs, tapping the pig gently with a stick to keep her moving. “I’d much rather deal with lovely citizens of our town like Miss Piggy here than juvenile delinquents like yourself.”

Stiles would be affronted by that accusation, but he’s too focused on the whole Miss Piggy part of that statement.

“Is that her name? Is she wearing a collar? Can pigs even wear collars?”

“Pay attention to the road please,” his dad sighs, as if Stiles could actually do any damage while travelling two miles an hour on a background. Which... okay, he probably could do some damage, but there’s more important things to worry about right now. Like pigs. “And I named her.”

And that... Stiles really has no response to that. This whole day is just very strange now, and he’s not sure his father naming a large pig Miss Piggy fits anywhere into his current world view.

It only takes a view minutes of painfully slow driving, the only sound the crunch of gravel beneath his tires and the soft grunting of Miss Piggy, for Stiles to figure out where they’re heading. And really, he’s a little ashamed of himself, there’s only one house this far down Breakheart Hill and it’s the only place in Beacon Hills that a pig would actually call home.

The Hale Farm.

So like, the thing is.... the Hales are hot. Every single one of them. Papa Hale is hot. Talia is gorgeous. Laura was homecoming queen. Cora is terrifyingly pretty. Even creepy Uncle Peter can totally get.

And then there’s Derek.

Derek was two years ahead of Stiles in school, he was captain of the football team and Lydia Martin’s best friend and he drove a lifted truck with big tires that was always covered in mud. His biceps were like the size of Stiles’ head, and rumor had it that you can’t get muscles like that anywhere but a farm. And yeah, Stiles might have experienced his entire bisexual awakening because of Derek Hale. There’s only so many times a fourteen year old boy can watch the football team scrimmage shirts versus skins without coming to some kind of realization about his sexuality. Scott knew, but mostly because Stiles tried to cover his awkward boners with seething hatred. He complained about Derek almost as much as he complained about Jackson, which well, Jackson’s fucking pretty too okay? He doesn’t deal well with this shit.

ANYWAYS. The point is that Stiles hasn’t really seen Derek Hale since high school (except for that one time at Cora’s graduation party where he might have drunkenly hit on him. Possibly), and he’s currently trailing his father and a big right towards Derek Hale’s farm.

Because it’s Derek’s now. He took it over a couple of years back, when his parents decided to move into town and Cora and Laura were off doing whatever it is they’re doing. It was a Big Deal in Beacon Hills, and well, it’s not like a first crush ever really goes away you know?

“Dad...” Stiles glances nervously through the faded white farmhouse peeking between the trees. “Do you know where you’re going?”

“Stiles,” his dad sighs and shakes his head. “You are here on your own free will you understand right? I’m just making sure Miss Piggy gets home safe. I don’t have time for whatever nonsense you’re about to spew at me.”

Stiles scowls and considers peeling tire and abandoning his dad out here. He would call Parrish or something of course. He’s not that cold.

But he wants to see Derek.

Rumor on the street is that Derek Hale is aging like a fine wine. And sure, he’s only like twenty four, but according to Lydia (because Stiles somehow managed to become friends with the popular girl... okay it’s all because of Allison but whatever) Derek’s sporting permastubble and has more than grown into his ears and his muscles. The thought alone makes his mouth water. Which is well... pathetic honestly. But Stiles has hit a sort of dry spell lately, after his last fling at school ended and he started day dreaming about moving in with someone and cooking dinner together and all sorts of domestic bull shit that he’s planning on blaming on Scott and Kira.

And yeah, so watching this fucking giant, hairy man in jeans that are like molded to his ass hop down the front porch steps is kind of just like whoa. Stiles might accelerate. And spray his dad with gravel. Possibly. Luckily Miss Piggy starts squealing and attempting to run towards the hunk (it’s Derek, he knows it’s Derek, he’s pretending it’s not Derek, because Derek knew him when he was a scrawny asshole with a buzzcut. He’s still and asshole but he’s not scrawny and people think he’s hot now okay). But Derek’s looking at the pig with such fondness on his freaking face and Stiles cannot handle this bull shit.

Can not.

Not today.

Not tomorrow.

Not ever.

Stiles’ dad is walking closer to Derek. He’s shaking his hand. They’re conversing like actual grownups.

Stiles is not a grownup.

“Yo Daddio!” He sticks his head out of his window and waves jovially. “Miss Piggy’s home, it’s time to go!” His dad shakes his head and rolls his eyes, but ultimately starts to make his way towards the Jeep, after giving Miss Piggy one last scratch behind the ears. Of course, what Stiles hadn’t planned on was that his yelling had drawn Derek Hale’s attention. And really, he’s old enough now where having a hot guy stare at him shouldn’t make his palms sweat. But here he is, hastily wiping his hands on his pants and praying it doesn’t stain. God. He needs to get out of here.

The sheriff smirks at him the entire way home.

And sure, everything would have been fine okay? This would have just been one actually not all that embarrassing experience in the long line of humiliation that has been Stiles’ life, but he starts running into Derek.

It’s a thing that happens in small towns, but it’s never happened with Derek. But now it’s like every five seconds he sees him at the grocery store or the coffee shop or driving down the street in that same dumb truck he had in high school (Stiles is not into it, okay. No way). And like, it happens enough that Stiles knows he’s going to have eventually stop pretending to zone out or ducking into different aisles in the grocery store and actually say hi.

Which of course, he can’t do in a normal way.

“So...” Derek’s back stiffens at the sound of Stiles’ voice, and that along should be a flashing neon warning sign. But he’s started this, and now he’s going to finish it. “How’s Miss Piggy? My dad’s been pining over her.” Derek looks at him over his shoulder, his unfairly attractive face infuriatingly blank.

“That’s not her name.”

Stiles blinks a couple times, at first too caught up in watching Derek’s lips move and then kind of annoyed by the slightly rude tone of voice.

“What is it then?” He asks, pasting what he hopes is a charming smirk on his face. He’s sure the giant tub of mayonnaise in his hands only adds to the allure.

Derek’s lips purse, and his face starts to flush, starting at his nose and spreading high across his cheekbones. It’s the most adorable thing he’s ever seen in his life.

“Delilah.”

Stiles drops the tub of mayo on the floor because he’s laughing so hard. It splatters every where, and his shoes smell so bad after he has to toss them out.

He leaves that part out when he tells their kids about the moment he fell in love with their father though.

[plot twist - Derek totally had a crush on Stiles for a long time before this. Not when he was in high school, but after, when he’d graduated and Stiles started growing into his looks and drove around in his jeep with his top off and hit on him with beer on his breath and a flush on his cheeks. And maybe the only reason they kept running into each other after the Miss Piggy incident was because Derek started going to town more hoping to see a certain someone. He tells the kids that he knew Stiles was the one when they went on their first date and Stiles stuck straws up his nose and pretended to be a walrus. At the age of twenty two. Which is unfortunately and embarrassingly true.]

#sterek #eternalsterek #give me farm aus or give me death #mine:fic #mine:sterek #my writing #THANKS FOR SHARING THIS ANON #I LOVE IT SO MUCH #PIGS YALL #Anonymous #beth's got mail

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