#my arch nemesis grantaire

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

The Weird Dream Saga: part ✨️20✨️

So...20.

(To be honest, I didn't think that there were going to be 20 of these.)

Now, at this point in my dream notes with which I am formally writing these, we actually have a break in the regularly scheduled program.

I'm still on my dream shift, but this one's different--today is bring your sister to work day.

[A/N: for the sake of my sister's privacy, we shall call her Shana.]

So for that reason, I brought Shana in with me. From there, it kinda just is the regular fare.

The care and maintenance of the piranha tank, dealing with fussy customers, chatting with Gordon the Jackrabbit on my break, and making sure that my arch-nemesis Grantaire behaves. Y'know-etc, etc.

Now, while I was working, Shana was hitting it off with a moody-looking, leather clad bad boy called Jaime.

Until: at almost the end of my shift, I am doing a last little bit of cleaning up when Shana says to me, "I'll see you at home, S."

Now, I was naturally suspicious, but by the time I came to question them, she was already on the back of his motorcycle, halfway out the parking lot.

Now, dream me didn’t see the red flags, so I finished up and went home. But Shana wasn't there.

Nor did she return within the next couple days. In fact, she didn't come back at all--I got a letter from her, and apparently Jaime is a Clown for Bavarian Circus,

(...a moody, edgy, Bavarian Clown.)

And apparently they were leaving with the Circus for a tour through Europe.

She also casually mentions that after she left the DG, she and Jaime actually went to the courthouse and eloped.

(And there may or may not have been an epilogue where she sent me another letter a few years down the line.)

(Just talking about how her and Jaime live in Belgium with their manservent named Footsie and their adopted son who they named after our mother.)

(who we will refer to as Krystal--again, for the sake of privacy.)

#weird dreams #my arch nemesis grantaire #gordon the jackrabbit #my sister #Jaime the moody Bavarian Clown #stay tuned #the weird dream saga

[narkik]

i was tagged by @sankontesu, @boomerangst, & @kikyousama  💞💞💞 thanks babes!!

1) Relationship status: it’s (eternally) complicated

2) Lipstick or Chapstick: lipstick!!! how tf am i supposed 2 Be Intimidating while wearing colorless blistex

3) Last song listened to: Hitlist by Madalen Duke

4) Top 3 shows:

NEW GIRL!!! i’ve re-watched this show @ least twice a year since i was 16 and all the jokes are still funny to me 

american horror story has owned my ass since day 1

Lucifer is incredible, showstopping, 10/10,

5) Top 3 characters:

naraku...i hate him but . Yeah

dolores haze, my sweet daughter who Deserves More

lord henry wotton, aka my actual soulmate whom i plan on marrying somehow

6) Top 3 ships:

narkik!!! sadly..it will probably Always Be Them

ALARKLING, the poster child for the “enemies AS lovers” trope, my powerful sunshine queen & her murderous arch-nemesis/bf who’d kill 4 her :’)

sareth, bc i’ve loved it for years, & its v hard 2 beat “extraTM goblin king is head over heels 4 angry american teenager”

honorable mentions: jenny/julian, skyeward, jdonica, vandrac. lately its been cora/cassian bc ya girl is WEAK for mortal enemies feat. sexual tension!!!

p sure every1 i know in the iy fandom has been tagged so. i tag @girlphantomoftheopera, @zoyalina, @blastymccsplode, @ghost-grantaire, @mullingarssweetheart, @danceofpales, @obiwannabemylover, @alarklinq, & @diaryofanobsessivefangirl 💞💞💞

#tbh i should put my relationship status as 'constantly dating but single In My Mind' #and yet.... #amanda speaks #tag games

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

My weird dream saga: part 18

Now, in this shift I for some reason was not wearing work clothes but instead I was wearing a red checkered toga with a tiara.

(I don't necessarily know why, but my first instinct is to blame my arch-nemesis.)

But, other than that, it's a normal shift. All the usual characters shuffle through-Larry, Rasmandious, Bolarivus, Grantaire, Gordon the Jackrabbit, etc, etc, though nothing that happened is particularly worth mentioning.

That is, until around the end of my shift when Brandy comes through with a man she introduces as her husband.

Now, I know that this man must be supernatural. He's easily the size of Rasmandious-maybe a little taller, it was hard to tell. But it was at least painfully obvious that he was not a Sucky Blood Buddy.

In fact, he's really tan-but blue glitter seems to be clinging to his skin? And his fingernails are naturally black, as well as long and pointed. He has a long luxurious ponytail and his eyes are are blue with green slits for pupils and black sclaras.

So yeah. Definitely something that is not human. Mr. Brandy-the-waitress says that his name actually is Melehware.

(He also unsurprisingly has large pointy teeth.)

From what little I talked with him, he seemed like a nice enough guy--a little reserved, maybe.

(He actually reminded me a bit of Rasmandious.)

Though Brandy seemed to do most of the talking, much to his apparent relief. After they had paid and left did I realize that I had not learned what exactly Melehware was.

Though after they left, I actually got off shift early, and that little tidbit suddenly didn't seem to matter.

#weird dreams #old married couple #Brandy the waitress #Melehware #bolarivus (bo) #rasblarry #my arch nemesis grantaire #gordon the jackrabbit #stay tuned #The Weird Dream Saga

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

My Weird Dream Saga: part 17

So-if you were around a few dreams ago, you might remember that during the great stress-induced-dream saga, Grantaire and I had a...tentative truce.

And during that truce, he took me for breakfast at the local Waffle House. And all the staff spoke in mind-boggling haikus. All of them. Including our ancient waitress, Brandy.

A woman with a no-nonsense-tired-of-your-crap attitude, and a heart of gold.

You're stereotypical waitress. Y'know-blue eyeshadow, short curly fire engine red hair with gray roots, smells like peppermint and nicotine, Diner uniform with sensible sneakers, calls everyone "Hon".

So, as it turns out, she actually lives in the area. Actually, during this shift she came through my line.

(Thankfully she didn't speak in haiku this time.)

In fact, as she ends up telling me, she and her husband actually just moved to the area, and asks if I know any places that are open down by the river.

We actually talked for a bit on the geopolitical climate--which was weird, especially considering that all the points of concern had to do with the rise of the rodent population, and their effects on the upper class and their contributions to the greenhouse effect.

But after she left, I had to deal with shenanigans from Bolarivus and Grantaire, who decided to bring whatever beef they still have back into the store. (This time involving our small selection of BBQ and soy sauces, the carts, and a few Armenian and American flags.)

Please don't ask why we have Armenian flags. I do not know.

But thankfully, before I could burst a blood vessel, Dory came over and took care of the situation.

I love Dory.

#weird dreams #Brandy the waitress #my arch nemesis grantaire #bolarivus (bo) #Dory the Security guy #stay tuned #The Weird Dream Saga

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

The Weird Dream Saga: part 16

Now: on this particular dream shift, I'm actually on break.

(Weird, I know.)

And I'm hanging out with the DG Bakery staff, eating baked goods and talking to Rasmandious and Gordon the Jackrabbit. Right now, life is good.

(And now I can confirm; the Lemon Meringue Quiche is absolutely delicious. In the dream, that is. I 100% do not recommend actually trying this.)

It's around this time that Larry and Angelo come on over. Larry had apparently been picking up the dog from the groomer, and told Razzy that he'd meet us at the store.

The good Boi that is Angelo hopped up onto my lap, and Larry fussed over me a bit. (Like seriously, did these two unofficially adopt me and decided to not let me know?)

And all was well. Then I jinxed it by complaining about my arch-nemesis Grantaire. And like he was summoned by irritation, he appears by my right shoulder.

Then, Gordon decides that trying to goad Grantaire is an excellent idea. (Apparently my arch-nemesis agreed.) So Gordon and Grantaire start going back and forth in this weird argument game.

But weirdly--this didn't bother me. Like, I was in such a good place mentally that those two didn't actually register on the annoyance scale.

Eventually Dory came over, and started an intellectual chat with Rasmandious. A very well spoken man, Dory is.

I even got a few wild stories out of Larry.

So, yeah. It was a really good, and relatively chill dream. 10 out of 10, would dream again.

#weird dreams #old married couple #rasblarry #hellhound and labradoodle mix #my arch nemesis grantaire #gordon the jackrabbit #Sucky Blood Buddies #Lemon Meringue Quiche #Dory the Security Guy #stay tuned #The Weird Dream Saga

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

My weird dream saga part 15:

15. Woof.

The good news is that my super-stress dream section is all over with. (To be honest, reading back over it was stressing me out all over again.)

Now though, it's just regular dream shenanigans.

Lets start off with the fact that I was once again enlisted to: restock the piranha tank. (We are almost always selling out in these dreams. But the real question is who in their right minds want personal piranhas? )

So, I'm there, refilling our piranha tank, mind my own business when, I'm suddenly accosted by--you guessed it--none other than Grantaire. (It seems our impromptu stress-induced truce is at an end.)

So we kinda just go through the motions a little bit. The usual stuff. Until, that is--Bolarivus comes over. He kinda has started showing up every now and again--with more and more frequency.

Now, you've heard of love at first sight. This, this was Loathe at first sight. And I thought that I was Grantaire's arch-nemesis.

It got so bad that I had to call the DG security guy (Apparently we have a security guy.) who is only known as "Dory".

(Which may or may not be his real name. I have not been able to find out.)

So, Dory came over in record time. Like, really. The troublesome twosome have been going at it since they locked eyes--and, to make matters worse, they had been following me around.

Though it was satisfying to watch this giant, stoic man literally lift those two off the ground and throw them outside.

...Very highly satisfying.

(And for those who are worried about Bolarivus, with him being a Sucky Blood Buddy, don't worry. It was overcast out.)

Dory then helps me finish with the piranhas, reaching up to the places where I couldn't. (AND HOLY COW GUYS--HE LITERALLY STUCK HIS BARE HAND INTO THE TANK.)

Needless to say; Dory is my new favorite.

#weird dreams #my arch nemesis grantaire #Bolarivus #Dory the Security guy #the piranha tank #Sucky Blood Buddies #stay tuned #The Weird Dream Saga

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

My weird dream saga, part 14:

So, in this particular dream shift, I was dealing with--you guessed it--more harassed customers! Already I am just stressed and done with the whole messy situation--and the dream has barely started.

Though, there was an immediate curveball thrown. (And if you guessed that I was saved by my arch-nemesis Grantaire, you'd be correct.) And so Grantaire manages to offend the people into leaving.

Then he drags me from work. At the start of my shift. (And yes, I am aware that this is a dream. But you can't tell me that you haven’t been in a dream and forgotten that it was--well, a dream.)

My arch-nemesis Grantaire ends up dragging me all the way to a Waffle House. In the middle of nowhere. (And if you couldn't tell it was a dream before, you most certainly could now, because there was no morning rush.)

So that's how Grantaire and I ended up eating breakfast at an abandoned Waffle House. But: that's not all--curve ball No. 2: for some odd reason all the employees had to speak in haiku??

Like, as far as these stress dreams have been going, this is the tamest one of the bunch. Really surprisingly low stress. (And I am extremely grateful for that-don't get me wrong.) But really? Haiku?

And the lady serving us was a stereotypical aged waitress--the lady looked like she had been there before the restaurant, and the construction workers just built around her--but she only spoke in cryptic haiku.

[A/N] Now, when I initially woke up, I wrote down a few cause they confused me. But the real tragedy is that I lost the cryptic haikus.

So I have no idea what she said, only that it was weird, and exclusively in haiku. (But her name is Brandy if anyone cares.)

So, yeah. Thankfully this marks the end of my stress-dream 'arc'.

(And I'm not gonna lie, this weird truce with Grantaire has been making me more and more paranoid.)

#weird dreams #my arch nemesis grantaire #stress #i'm suspicious #Brandy the waitress #stay tuned #The Weird Dream Saga

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

The weird dream saga part 13:

Now unfortunately, at this point we are still in the hyper-stress dream portion of the saga. So, needless to say--at this point, I am not having a good time.

Like, I was on my dream shift and I had been tasked with wrangling our unruly rug selection. For those who are paying attention to the dream store layout; the rugs were on the lefthand side of the store, in the back an isle away from our small medicine selection.

(Now, Dollar General does have a selection of small throw rugs, but this was almost industrial type carpeting.)

So, I was left to handle the carpeting. Unfortunately, in this particular dream, I didn't have Gordon to keep me company. Just unruly customers stomping around and the stupid rugs. And of course there are unruly customers stomping around.

Because it wouldn't be a horrible stress dream if there were no awful people milling around.

So, I'm trying to mind the rugs and my own business, but I keep getting harassed by customers wanting this and that, messing things up so I have to stop what I'm doing to clean it up, oh-and tampering with the piranha tank. (I'm not sure if I'm relived that no one got hurt, or just disappointed.)

Yup. As if customer service wasn't hard enough. (Why we have a piranha tank is beyond me--even in my dreams I'm confused about this choice.)

The only good thing to happen in this awful dream came from a very surprising source. My arch-nemesis Grantaire. He manages to find me at the end of my shift and takes me to get ice pops, and we actually have a nice conversation about bridge architecture.

(To be honest his good behavior is throwing me off. It just feels like he's winding up for something big...)

#weird dreams #my arch nemesis grantaire #stress #inexplicable grantaire #I feel suspicious #stay tuned #The Weird Dream Saga

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

The weird dream saga part 12:

[A/N] Now, at the time of these next few dreams, I was under a particularly large amount of stress. And the characters particularly reflect that.

So, with that out of the way, on to the dream.

I was at my usual station: register one. And the customers were particularly, how to put this...unruly.

(It was almost like a real shift, but the customers were less passive-aggressive 'polite' and more screamy.)

It was so bad and I was so out of sorts that my arch-nemesis Grantaire was not only well behaved, but he was also concerned about my well-being.

And Gordon the Jackrabbit was next to me behind the counter, standing there providing silent moral support. (He really wasn't allowed back there, but no one was gonna stop Gordon. He holds too much power.)

I don't know when they arrived, but Rasmandious and Larry were giving me concerned looks, and the other customers death glares.

And I'm fairly certain that Rasmandious was three seconds from murdering anyone who crossed me when they went through my line.

(Like, when did I unofficially get adopted by these magnificent husbands?)

Like seriously, he stood next to my register for half of an hour, just glaring the customers in my line into submission. (Larry literally had to drag him away.)

After my shift, Larry, Rasmandious and Gordon the Jackrabbit took me to a magical looking park and we played Pooh Sticks on the bridge.

[A/N: if you don't know what Pooh Sticks is, just look it up.]

And if you guessed that Rasmandious gave me another vial of blood, you'd be correct.

(This is the only highlight of my dream.)

#weird dreams #rasblarry #my arch nemesis grantaire #old married couple #Sucky Blood Buddies #stress #Gordon the Jackrabbit #stay tuned #The Weird Dream Saga

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

My weird dream saga, PT 3:

So, in another dream, I was working the night shift. And the in-store Bakery was closing for the night. (Apparently it closes at 8 pm.) And who else should walk in but Larry and his husband Rasmandious. But they walk in with a puppy. They greet me and Larry tells me that this is their rescue puppy named Angelo, and that he is a mixed breed part Labridoodle and part Hellhound. (For reference, it is one of the cutest dogs I have ever seen.)

Rasmandious reminds Lawrence that they have stuff to get and they disappear into the store. (When Rasmandious is taking to or about his husband; it's always Lawrence. Never Larry.) After yet another run-in with Grantaire, I spot Larry and Rasmandious in line.

When they come up we chat while I rang them up. And I learned that Although 'The Bloodless Children of the Night' is what they are called (not vampires. Don't listen to pop culture.), apparently back in the late 1800s or early 1900s, someone mistranslated their name and instead claimed that they were called 'Sucky Blood Buddies'.

Sucky Blood Buddies. Which was not only the highlight of that dream-shift; but the highlight of my day upon waking up.

#weird dreams #RasbLarry #my arch nemesis Grantaire #Hellhound and Labridoodle mix #stick around #The Weird Dream Saga

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

Ok, so. My weird series of dreams. *PT. 2*

How I discovered Larry and Rasmandious were married was a little bit out of left field; like I was working a standard shift when like clockwork, I spot Larry somewhere in the snacks-which is pretty normal. Then I spot Rasmandious perusing our small wine selection-which is also pretty normal, although he usually comes and shops during the night shift-which is not so normal. (Also he has a tendency to buy fresh pastries and a bottle of cheap wine, which was odd because he admitted himself that vampires don't need food or drink.)

After a brief encounter with Grantaire (AKA my mortal enemy.), Larry and Rasmandious walk up to my lane and put their stuff up for me to ring up. Together. Which confused me. They must have known that I was confused (or I said something, I really don't remember.) Larry spoke up and said and I quote: "Oh, this undead sulky drama queen? He's mah husband!" He goes on to tell me that they are going on a road trip to visit some of his cousins or something.

At this point, I'm done ringing items and I'm just waiting for cash. Which is when Rasmandious says "Just pay the Girl, Lawrence. We have more stops to make before we leave."

That's the story of how I learned that they were husbands.

#weird dreams #RasbLarry #inexplicable Grantaire #my arch nemesis Grantaire #stick around #The Weird Dream Saga

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

The weird dream saga, part 8:

So, on this particular dream shift, I was stuck stuck restocking the piranha tank. (Which I feel the need to say, Doller General does not sell piranhas. Live or otherwise.)

So, I was stuck restocking the piranha tank when I saw Rasmandious taking Ned and Napoleon over to the in-store Bakery to get the tiny lemon raspberry pies that we apparently sell in the early spring.

I was surprised to see Razzy out and about during the daytime. (And it was a bright sunny day, mind you.) But, due to my previous engagement with the piranhas, I couldn't ask about it.

So, after my fishy task was completed, I was ushered back to my post at the cash register. I then had to troubleshoot problems concerning the piranhas--caused by my archenemy, I feel the need to add.

(That man will be the death of me-I don't care if he only exists in my dreams.) But, after those shenanigans were delt with, I was greeted by Razzy and the boys. A welcome change, might I say.

So, apparently along with their little lemon raspberry pies, they also came in for our strongest spf, sunglasses, and 5 packs of pantyhose.

So as it turns out, our favorite Sucky Blood Buddies can go out into the world with the right supplies, but as it also turns out, Rasmandious was running dangerously low. So the boys were going to MacGyver something until they got home.

And the funniest part was that Rasmandious looked so sulky throughout the entire explanation. Like he didn't want people to know about the commonly known weakness to sunlight.

(And after they left, there may or may not have been another issue with the piranha tank.)

#weird dreams #piranhas #Ned #Napoleon #Sucky Blood Buddies #my arch nemesis grantaire #stick around #The Weird Dream Saga

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

Part 5 of the dream saga:

In this particular dream, I was working the day shift. And Larry walks in with Angelo, the Labridoodle-Hellhound puppy, and two boys. One looking around 12 or 13, and the other boy looking around 8 or 9.

They leisurely walk around the store for awhile, stop by the in-store Bakery. (In the meantime I deal with you-know-who.)

After the exit of my sworn enemy, they put their stuff up to check out. That's when I found out that the boys are named Ned and Napoleon. And they are the pair of Step-Brothers that Larry and Rasmandious adopted.

(To be honest, at that point in time I had almost forgotten about the adopted Step-Brothers thing.)

But they were nice. Napoleon (the younger one) was really chatty. And Ned just played with Angelo, then took the bags.

A surprisingly short and quiet dream. I guess that even in my dream shifts I still have slow days.

#weird dreams #Larry #Ned #Napoleon #Labridoodle-Hellhound mix #my arch nemesis grantaire #stick around #The Weird Dream Saga

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

Alright. Full disclosure: These next few posts have been sitting in my notes for months. So I figured it's time to clean out what remains of my notes on this weird little dream saga.

So, without further ado, part 4.

In this particular dream, there wasn’t a whole lot of Rasmandious or Larry. Most of it centered on my archnemisis Grantaire.

(Let's start and end that whole mess just by saying 4 words. All. The. Dove. Products.)

But moving on, when they finally did come through my lane, they had a lot more than normal. Like, the best of the best we had to offer. (Please keep in mind that we are still talking about Doller General here.)

They had also stopped by the in-store Bakery for the finest of baked goods. (If you guessed the Baked Lemon Meringue Quiche, then you'd be correct.)

So, as I was scanning the items, we were making small talk, and that's when good 'ol Larry brings up that that particular day was their anniversary. So he starts gushing on how "Razzy" has been spoiling him all day.

The three main points he brought up were about how they had spent the entire morning in a relaxing couples spa, then he had taken Larry on a extended trip to the planetarium, and now they were going to have a romantic candle-lit picnic in an old abandoned church, and then go for a long stroll through the graveyard next to the church.

And for a 'Bloodless Child of the Night' Rasmandious was an awful bright shade of red. He just hemmed and hawed, shoved money at me and quickly ushered Larry out.

(I regretfully forgot to ask how long they had been married.)

But Larry looked so happy.

#weird dreams #rasblarry #my arch nemesis grantaire #anniversary #old married couple #Sucky Blood Buddies #Baked Lemon Meringue Quiche #stick around #The Weird Dream Saga

[deaths-true-mortal-enemy]

Ok. So. I have been having a reoccurring dream (that's less reoccurring and more like a series at this point.) For context, I work for Doller General as a cashier; and in this series of dreams, I am working, and the first major difference is our wall to the left of our registers is now a Doller General Bakery, and the highest selling item is the Baked Lemon Meringue Quiche that everyone seems to love more than life itself.

And the first major character in these dreams is this hillbilly named Larry. Who looks like your Stereotypical hillbilly. And he was born and raised Tennessee. He is a sweetheart who without fail, comes in and buys strawberry flavored Ding Dongs (which I am fairly certain is not an actual product), a Lemon Lime Fanta soda (which may actually be a real product).

The next major notable character in these dreams is a vampire named Rasmandious. Who looks like your Stereotypical Eastern European vampire. And as he told me: never call him a vampire because it is a derogatory slur. So I ask what to refer to him as. He gives off this long and complex series of what sounds to be Eastern European words that essentially translate into 'The Bloodless Children of the Night'.

The thing about Larry and Rasmandious is that they are apparently married. They are married, have a rescue dog that is part Labridoodle and part Hellhound named Angelo, and have adopted a set of orphaned stepbrothers. (But I swear they are not Phineas and Ferb.)

The third major notable character is Grantaire. Grantaire. From Les Mis fame. (This is entirely the fault of my sister who is a major Les Mis fan.) But, I'm not going to go too in depth with his role in my dreams because he the piece of trash that he is, deserves his own post.

Stick around for part two.

#weird dreams #my sister calls them RasbLarry #inexplicable Grantaire #my now arch nemesis Grantaire #Hellhound and Labradoodle mix #stick around #Les Mis #sort of #The Weird Dream Saga