#my boy is a totally scifi nerd and will never admit it
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guys I need you to know that when I say Eddie reads sci-fi novels I'm talking ones that are like three inches thick and have glossaries for the math and physics used in the book and only come in like trade paperback but he's marking up the margins all the same.
#i should clarify i am talking about eddie diaz#not eddie munson#eddie diaz#911 abc#911 meta#eddie diaz headcanons#my boy is a totally scifi nerd and will never admit it#he also probably read like every star wars novel that came out while he was in high school#i think he and shannon bonded over both really loving to read
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Pooh Characters as Queer Environmentalists
No seriously. I had a very vivid dream involving all the Winnie The Pooh characters as a group of enthusiastic (and queer) environmentalists who meet once a week to talk about environment things because they’re nerds.
Starring Christopher Robin, Pooh, Tigger, Rabbit, Kanga, Roo, Gopher, Eeyore, and Piglet.
· Christopher Robin
o 33 years old
o Head/leader/founder of the Environmentalist Group
o Really interested in saving the whales
o Chill dude, but kind of an airhead
o Everyone thinks he’s some kinda office worker
o One day someone accidentally found out that he’s the CEO of some green-planet organization and runs this group for fun to see what kinds of ideas he can get and to see what people think of environmentalist efforts
o He always credits people for their ideas, but people assumed that he just worked for the company, not that he ran the damned thing
o A pansexual icon
o Has been to every single pride event that their city has ever had
o Rumour has it he started the pride events
o Wilder rumour has it he threw the first stone at the Stonewall Riots
o Even wilder rumour has it that he’s an immortal vampire who survives on the blood of homophobes
o He won’t deny any of these rumours but has yet to confirm it
o Has a genderqueer partner that literally nobody has met
o Seriously, not even Pooh
· Pooh
o 29 years old
o Really wants to save the bees
o Like, REALLY wants to save the bees
o Vegetarian, but because he doesn’t like meat
o Massive sweet tooth; dentists hate him!
o Ace/Aro
o Loves children, wants to adopt his own someday
o Babysits Roo all the time
o Kanga and him are best friends
o He brings little sweets for Roo every meeting
o Perhaps a little bit of a pothead but he’s not addicted
o He just smokes a joint once in a while to chill out
o A stereotypical “make love not war” hippie
o Nice to everyone all the time
o Cries when someone is mean to him
o Gets uncomfortable when people hit on him
o Christopher’s little brother
o A visual artist; uses lots of colours and sells his art at galleries and markets
· Tigger
o 27 years old
o ADHD
o Like SUPER ADHD
o Gay
o Hit on Pooh once but when Pooh got uncomfy he backed off
o Thought maybe Pooh was uncomfortable with gays and was confused and sad
o When he found out Pooh was Ace/Aro he totally understood
o They’re good friends now
o Really wants to save rainforests and trees
o A freelance writer; his books are elementary school Magic Treehouse shit
o Very much into fantasy shit, his non-children’s series’ lore is always the deepest mindfuck ever, how the hell did he even come up with that
o Bestselling author tho
o Kinda famous tbh but he doesn’t like media attention
o He just thinks everybody should have fun all the time
o Does he vape? Probably. Has anyone ever actually seen him do it? No.
o Does he sleep? Probably. Has anyone ever actually seen him do it? Once.
o Kanga caught him powernapping when she came into one of the first meetings really early, but all she did was put a blanket on him and leave to go to the convenience store or something to stay out for a bit longer so he could rest
o He didn’t know who it was until a bit later he figures it was her since she’s always knitting and it was a very pretty knitted thing
o That’s his momma figure now
· Rabbit
o 25 years old
o Vegan and very in-your-face about it
o “Bugs are important to the ecosystem but boy do I hate them in my garden”
o Scifi enthusiast
o Post-apocalyptic things slightly terrify him because he believes that’s how the world is gonna go
o A bit of a conspiracy theorist
o Genuinely believes the government is vaguely spying on everybody
o Did Bush do 9/11? Who knows… but the moon landing was real, and the earth is round, don’t be dumb
o Just identifies as queer, doesn’t like labels
o A very organized person but when he’s very upset perfectionism scares him bc he thinks he’s not ever gonna be good enough and will mess things up on purpose
o Has a long-distance boyfriend
o A farmer
· Kanga
o 38 years old
o Divorced trans woman
o Has a 5 year old son that she fostered as a baby and adopted when he was 4
o Recycles aggressively
o Calls everyone “dear”
o Uses reusable bags and plastic containers all the time
o Knits a lot, everybody always gets scarves or mitts or hats for Christmas
o Usually in the design of ‘planet earth’, but also makes pride flag designs and takes requests for fave colour schemes
o Vegetarian but not aggressive ab it like Rabbit is
o You know what she is a bit aggressive about? Recycling
o If you throw something that’s recyclable in the garbage in front of her...
o Lord help you
o Last man who did that was never seen again
o Okay that’s a lie, he was seen two weeks later
o But he was advocating for a save the whales organization on the side of the road and wearing all thrift store clothing
o She traumatized him into throwing himself into the environmentalist pit headfirst
o Thinks Gopher is just a big softie; is the only one who is super nice to him all the time (besides her son, and Pooh who is nice to literally everyone)
o Kinda has a thing for the grumpy man but won’t admit it
o She’s like an accountant or something, nobody knows what she does for a living but she seems to be well-off
· Roo
o The adopted 5 year old son
o A little bit spoiled, but not just by Kanga, by everyone in the group
o Loves sitting in on the meetings
o His first sentence at 15 months was “recycle that!”
o Loves blue because of recycle bins
o Literally wears nothing but blue
o Will accept things that are less than 100% blue as long as its more than 50% blue
o Also likes things with pink on them
o Thinks Tigger is the coolest person ever
o Doesn’t understand all of Tigger’s books but reads them anyway
o Except the non-children’s ones of course
o Reads everything he can get his hands on
o Don’t let him get his hands on anything inappropriate for a 5 year old
o Asks a lot of questions
o Everyone adores him
o His mama is his favourite person on the planet but also Mr Tigger is so cool
o He likes Mr Gopher too, he thinks Mr Gopher is great because of “how happy Mama is when he’s around”
· Eeyore
o 23 years old
o Has depression
o Trans boy
o Just really wants friends
o Wants to help the planet
o Is a massive pessimist that thinks the world is doomed
o Very smart boy
o Talks about CO2 emissions and carbon taxes
o A university student studying some kinda chemical engineering
o Very quiet
o Bit of a crush on piglet tbh
o Has a big love for superheroes without powers because he loves the idea of things being solvable through hard work mixed with passion and technology
o Except he doesn’t believe it because his depression makes him super pessimistic
o Also a big tech nerd
· Gopher
o 45 years old
o Landlord of their meeting place
o Grumpy ass old man
o Sometimes people are grumpy right back to him and he’s ok with that
o Actually a soft spot for these weird hippies and joins them sometimes but says its because he wants to make sure they’re not damaging the place (they know that’s a big fat lie but won’t say anything)
o Will fight anyone who mocks them
o Has actually fought someone who mocked them
o Has not told them about said fight
o Especially adores Roo
o Thinks Kanga is a bit of an odd woman but also thinks she’s very pretty
o Repressed bisexual
o He thinks nobody knows he’s bi but eventually when he kinda mentions it he realizes everyone knows
o Specifically, Piglet and Kanga are super supportive
o He definitely actually has a crush on Kanga, who knitted him a bisexual flag scarf once
o He wears it all the time but will vehemently deny that it’s the same scarf when called on it
o Big brawny weirdo
o Was a football player in college and can definitely bench-press everyone
o Works construction now, which is why he’s still in good shape
o Actually a brilliant man, can architect and calculate like nobody’s business
o Will help Piglet with his mathematics homework in exchange for Piglet teaching him more things about the LGBT+ community
o After a while he realizes that perhaps genderfluid fits him well but Piglet is sworn to secrecy
o Has a daughter who is institutionalized for her mental health issues that grew beyond his care
o Piglet reminds him of his daughter and he’s very protective
o That’s why he legit fought that asshole who mocked the “little F****t hippies”
o He was almost arrested for assault on that one actually
o The cop was a buddy of his and 100% believed the “defense of those who can’t defend themselves” explanation that Gopher had
o Got off with a warning and fined for “disturbing the peace” or some mundane BS
· Piglet
o 21 years old
o Gay and demiboy
o Anxiety disorders through the roof
o OCD
o Recycling is a compulsion
o Reducing energy consumption too
o He checks his lights all the time
o He walks or bikes everywhere
o He says it’s to reduce CO2 emissions
o He’s just scared of vehicles
o Has some kinda PTSD but nobody knows the source
o He got into a massive car accident when he was little
o Because his father was angry and speeding
o His mother died in the accident
o But nobody knows this! Someday he will tell them tho
o Today is not that day
o Tomorrow is not that day either
o But someday
o Crush on Eeyore
o Also a university student
o Studying mathematics because it makes sense to him
o Gopher reminds him of his grumpy old gay uncle who died when he was in high school
o Feels like he can actually not double-check or cross-reference anything that Gopher teaches him because he trusts him a lot
o Still will sometimes check everything if he’s having a bad day
o Gopher doesn’t mind, he understands that Piglet has a lot of anxiety issues
o Has an exception in his uni file to be able to take twice as long on his exams and tests and get an extra few days for assignments because he checks every single answer 3 times
o His OCD number is 3, everything is 3, he turns his lights on and off 3 times, etc
#piglet#pooh#winnie the pooh is my fuckin shit#winnie the pooh#pooh bear#rabbit#eeyore#tigger#kanga#roo#kanga and roo#gopher#my post#queer#q slur tw#environmentalists#environment#save the bees#idk if this makes sense to anyone else or not#but i really like this for some reason#i hope this isn't cringey
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