#my dingus brain refused to let me work on anything else

[snazzy-suit]

LLoG Chapter (?) Fool Me Once, Fool Me Thrice (Snippet)

Yeah I know technically they’ve only been tricked twice but it’s the third time they’ve been through ghostly shenanigans so let me have this

Can I offer you a snippet in this trying time? 

Ever since Luigi’s Mansion 3 came out, I’ve been thinking about the masked ghosts in the lobby and just how bad their disguises were (I friggin’ loved it). I also kept thinking about how things might have gone if Luigi and friends had seen through their ruse right off the bat. I was just gonna let the thought be, but then I saw this clip of Luigi very clearly giving the hotel staff incredulous looks and was like “Shit, now I have to write it”.

So here we are! A sneak peak at my attempt to adapt the events of LM3 so they fit more soundly into the LLoG AU. This is very early in Luigi’s “liaison” career, before he and King Boo have shifted into their odd little frenemy relationship. He doesn’t quite have the confidence that we see later in the series, and still sometimes gets startled/alarmed by ghosts/spirits.

Oh! Also, this is a very rough draft, so if it feels choppy and/or if there are errors (grammatical, factual, and otherwise), that’s because I haven’t gone back and given it the ol’ spit and polish. All my writing starts this way. ^^’

=

For context, Luigi has just entered the lobby, and in his distracted awe, accidentally bumps into one of the hotel staff.

=== 

Luigi’s suitcase flies from his hand as he and the other unfortunate party crash to the floor with flailing limbs and undignified yelps of surprise. The plumber, quite used to clumsy mishaps, is the first to recover. He straightens his hat that had been knocked askew and pushes himself up, immediately spying a hotel staff member—the bellhop, to be specific—clutching at their face and blindly patting the floor in search of their own headwear. The odd behavior goes unnoticed, Luigi being far too mortified by the incident to even register it.

“Oh Stars, I’m so sorry!” Luigi cries, rushing to kneel at the man’s side. “Are you alright?”

“I-it’s okay! I’m fine, I’m fine!” the bellhop replies, still frantically patting at the ground. “I should have gotten out of your way.”

Luigi frowns at the response, perturbed by how the man could simultaneously sound both meek and jovial.

“No, I should have watched where I was going,” he refutes gently. Luigi carefully retrieves the bellman’s cap from the floor and presses it into the man’s searching hand. “Here you go.”

“Ah! Thank you, sir!” The staff member shakily dons the wayward piece of his uniform, back turned to the plumber as they gathered themselves. Luigi glances up to see Peach making her way toward them, face drawn with concern. He gently waves her off, silently assuring the princess that they were alright.  

“Here, let me help you up,” Luigi offers, extending a hand to the recovering employee. The man turns and reaches up to accept his offer.

“Oh! Why, thank you!”

Luigi only just keeps himself from recoiling. The bellhop’s face...it isn't a face at all. It’s a mask, and a rather eerie one at that. Bulging, unseeing eyes stare back at him—well, sort of. The pupils are just a tad off, and so small they’re practically pinpricks. A manic grin takes up most of the mask’s lower half, every white, too-perfect tooth in full view—so much so it almost looks like a threat display. To top it all off, the mask is pale blue in color, reminding Luigi of a frozen corpse—a rather fitting description for the static expression pulled straight from the uncanny valley.

“No problem,” Luigi answers, struggling to keep composure. He takes the man’s gloved hand (it's cold as ice) and gently hauls them up (they're unnaturally light for their size) to their feet (they don’t have feet. Or legs, for that matter).  

Luigi steps back as the bellman begins brushing off their uniform. He has to make a conscious effort not to let his eyes trail down the man’s coat to the marginal gap between it and the floor. The outerwear is far too long for the style, making the man look like a child in ill-fitting clothes, or more morbidly, someone that got chopped in half at the waist. Their attempt to hide their lack of legs drew more attention than it diverted, in Luigi’s opinion. It was so obvious it almost hurt.

Luigi was talking to a ghost.

“Heh, well, that didn’t quite go according to plan,” the ghost laughs nervously. “I came over here to help you, but you ended up helping me.”

A lot goes through the plumber's mind at that moment. How terrible the ghost’s disguise is. How, despite this, Luigi can’t help but be a little impressed that the ghost didn’t instinctively float upward after their collision, and thus, blow their “cover”. How Luigi can’t seem to escape the paranormal for one Star’s forsaken weekend. How, yet again, he finds himself getting tangled in some specter’s scheme.

But none of these thoughts deign to vocalize themselves, and really, it’s for the best. Luigi has to play this smart. Without the Poltergust, they’re doomed if the ghosts realize the jig is up. If he wants to get everyone out of here safely, he’ll need to feign ignorance—at least until he has a plan.

“Help...me?” Luigi says distantly, still somewhat lost in his thoughts.

“Yes! With your luggage.” The ghost gestures to Luigi’s suitcase, lying forgotten on the pristine floor. “Allow me to ease your burden and place it with the others.”

Luigi quirks a brow at his single piece of luggage. Burden? There was hardly anything in it.

“Oh. Thank you, but that’s not really necessary. I can—”

“Please, I insist!” The bellhop interjects, already drifting (quite literally) toward the aforementioned bag. “You’re on vacation, sir! You should be relaxing. Let me take care of the heavy lifting.”

Luigi starts to object, but then thinks better of it. Best not to create a fuss and draw unnecessary attention.  

“Okay, if you insist. Thank you, mister...?”

“Oh! Um, I’m Steward! And it’s no problem, sir.”

The bellman’s name...is Steward.

You have got to be kidding.

Luigi quietly watches the bellman as they (rather awkwardly) carry his suitcase over to the precarious tower of luggage the Toads are desperately trying to stabilize. The plumber sighs, studying the lobby with a carefully concealed wariness.

Now what?

Luigi pauses when his eyes land on one of the other nearby staff members. They, too, are clearly wearing a mask, though it’s not nearly as off-putting as the bellhop’s. The static expression is rather lax—eyes partially lidded and mouth resting in a neutral line, neither a frown nor a grin. A thin, curled mustache is painted neatly above the upper lip, and the equally clean eyebrows are raised in a somewhat haughty manner.  

When the costumed spirit turns their head to regard Luigi, the pupils of their mask wobble erratically like googly eyes before settling back into a more natural position (as natural as they can be, anyway). The plumber gently waves to them in a greeting, offering what he hopes is a convincing smile. The staff member acknowledges him with a nod. Their neatly combed wig slides askew at the movement, but they deftly readjust it without so much as a shift in their stance. Luigi quickly shuffles past them in an attempt to hide his grimace.

Good Grambi, he needed something to drink.

Fortunately for Luigi, there appears to be a pitcher of tea at the table Mario is still happily sampling treats from. It’s not what he had in mind, but if it occupies his hands and quenches his thirst, he’ll take it. The plumber approaches the table as nonchalantly as he can, grabbing the rather large kettle and pouring himself a steaming cup of tea. His hands shake minutely as he does so, and Luigi tries to convince himself it’s from the strain of hefting the heavy pitcher.

“Hey bro!”

Luigi nearly spills his drink at Mario’s sudden greeting. He turns, shooting his brother a strained smile.

“H-hey bro,” he says back.

Mario grins—oblivious to Luigi’s inner turmoil—as he snatches up a croissant. He takes a hearty bite and looks back to his brother, humming happily as he savors the taste.

“Isn’ thith plathe great?” Mario asks around a mouthful of pastry.

Luigi grimaces, both at the question and at his brother’s poor table manners.

“Yeah...great...”

Mario nods, taking another bite of the flaky treat. When he speaks again, Luigi is distantly grateful he remembers to swallow his food this time.

“Good food, good atmosphere, good friends...this vacation is just what I needed. What we all needed, right bro?”

Oh Stars, this is so unfair.  

“Right,” he answers honestly. A nice vacation is what they needed, but clearly the universe thought that was too tall an order.

How is he going to break the news to Mario? And how does he keep his brother from reacting badly?

Luigi looks down at his cup, absently swirling the hot liquid inside. He subtly checks his peripheral for any nearby staff. Thankfully, they’re all a good distance away, so as long as the brothers keep their voices down, there shouldn’t be a risk of being overheard. It’s possible one of the ghosts knows how to read lips, but if they keep their expressions in check, they shouldn’t draw the attention needed to do so. If that doesn’t work...well, Luigi can only hope the masks are as hard to see out of as they are to look at.

The green-clad plumber watches his brother select a soft pretzel from one of the platters, seeing an opportunity as Mario begins to chow down on the salty treat. His brother can’t yell and make a scene if his mouth is full, right? It’s not ideal, but Luigi is too stressed to think of anything better. He gently sips from his tea, and when his brother takes another bite from the pretzel, he speaks as casually as he can around the rim of the cup.

“The hotel is a trap.”

Mario promptly chokes.

Luigi nearly drops his cup at his brother’s rather violent reaction. He blindly thrusts his drink onto the table and ducks around Mario’s distressed flailing to deliver several hard slaps to his brother’s back. Just when Luigi thinks he’s going to have to try a first aid maneuver, the food swiftly dislodges itself from Mario’s airway, leaving the red-clad plumber to hack and cough wetly as he recovers from the harrowing ordeal. Luigi looks up to find all eyes are on them.

Well, that was stupid. So much for not drawing attention.

A couple staff members move uncertainly toward them, as does Peach, but Luigi quickly waves them off.

“He’s fine!” he calls, voice slightly strained with panic. “Just got a little too...overzealous, is all!”

The disguised spirits exchange what might be—sans masks—hesitant looks, but none-the-less return to their stations. For one, terrifying moment, it appears that the princess is going to come over anyway, but another wave of assurance manages to placate her. Luigi knows he’ll need to tell Peach what is happening eventually, but he doesn’t think telling both her and his brother at the same time would be very wise. Keeping one person calm is hard enough.

“Sorry, Mario,” Luigi whispers. “That, uh...was poorly thought out on my part.”

“Ya think?” Mario wheezes, straightening from his hunched over position. “Making a bad joke like that while I’m eating—not cool, Luigi.”

Luigi frowns, but quickly replaces it with a fake smile. He feigns a hearty laugh and throws an arm around Mario’s shoulders, much to the latter’s confusion.

“I’m not joking, bro,” he says through gritted teeth, false grin still in place. “The hotel staff are all spirits wearing disguises. Really, really bad disguises.”

Mario gives his brother a bewildered look.

“If you’re not joking, then why are you smiling like that?”

“Because if they’re watching us, I don’t want them thinking we’re on to them.” Luigi grinds out. He reaches into his pocket with his free hand and retrieves his cell phone. He lifts it up, screen facing the brothers, and turns on the forward-facing camera. “Say: Play Stupid!”

===

And there you have it! Join us next time to see Luigi and friends smiling and taking pictures like good tourists as they scream internally about their terrible predicament. Laugh and cry as the nefarious hotel staff silently beg the mortals to Blease hurry up and check-in these costumes are itchy

#Luigi's Mansion 3 #Luigi's Mansion 3 spoilers #LM3 spoilers #Luigi #Steward #Mario #Peach #I couldn't stop thinking about this #my dingus brain refused to let me work on anything else #the asshole #it's almost done though #then I can finally finish the chapter 5 arc #ffs #snippet #suit speaks

[neonponders]

👀 👀 👀 👀  Oh jesus oh lord. Deeper Than Skin is finished so I’ll enable another wip.

@ghostofjellyfishforgotten I hope you don’t mind me using your tags on this vampire!Billy / blood donor!Steve post as inspiration! Your brain is just too big for me not to pass up an opportunity to write vampire shenanigans.

Read on ao3 ~

🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹

Steve didn’t judge people who worked as donors—

Fine, as an adult with a better awareness and compassion, Steve didn’t judge donors. He might’ve said some shitty things to Jonathan Byers when he worked to make his family extra money.

Honestly? Steve admired that. Jonathan being underage and having the guts to figure out how to get into the donation clinic, and then to let…

Steve knew he was a coward in a lot of ways. He knew it when he called Jonathan a queer who enjoyed leeches sucking on him. He knew it when he lost to the punches Byers threw. For a skinny, half empty blood bag, the guy could really hit. And Steve knew it when he almost ran away from Nancy and Jonathan fighting off the rogue vampire who kidnapped little Will Byers.

But Steve didn’t run away.

Just like he didn’t run away from the couch he sat on with his mother while his father explained…a situation that left Steve digging deeper and deeper into the gap between fear and bravery. Maybe call it disassociation. Or confused shock.

“You what?”

Harrington senior never took well to being interrupted. But he sighed from across the coffee table and reiterated, “The family is in debt.”

“No. You. You’re in debt. This is your problem.”

The man certainly didn’t take well to having his own mistakes shoved under his nose. “This isn’t for debate. This is the way things are and need to be.”

“No,” Steve repeated like a broken record clinging onto its song. “This is your fault. Who’s made me work minimum wage jobs to teach me a lesson? Who’s refused to pay for me to go to community college? Who hasn’t let me work in their company? And who made the shitty gambles with your company’s stocks? You shoved me out, so it’s definitely not my problem—”

“The contract has already been signed.”

Now his mother shifted her posture on the couch beside him. “Excuse me?”

Steve’s father moved his blunt nails over the armrest of his wingback, fidgeting. At least something put fear into the old bastard’s heart.

“There’s nothing I could do. The market has been evolving ever since vampires gained their rights and opened up their decades and centuries old bonds—”

“Vampire legislation passed over a century ago,” Mrs. Harrington purred. Sometimes the worst anger was the quiet kind. “You have no excuse. You lost the game, and you sold our son. Is that what we’re to believe?”

“That’s not possible,” Steve intercepted. “Slavery isn’t a thing anymore. Even I picked that up in history. And I would have to be there to sign the contract! It’s my—”

“Steve,” his father silenced. “When enough money is involved, anything is bought. And you’re not like anyone else.”

Mrs. Harrington fumed, “Do not talk to him like he’s a prize pony!”

“Except to a wealthy vampire, he is.”

Steve could only sit in weighted silence for a moment. He always joked to himself that he’d be disowned one of these days. For being a disappointment. For all of his bad grades. For giving his friends alcohol and cigarettes. For only being able to get jobs that required no qualifications or experience level at all. For discovering he liked kissing boys at the grimy music venues Robin took him to. Maybe living at home for too long. Or leaving the smell of burnt pancakes in the air too often because he always struggled with the first one—

“Vampire?” he croaked. For some reason it hadn’t dawned to him until now but…shit.

Holy shit.

Steve wasn’t being sold off to be some billionaire’s secretary for life. He was being…truly sold. Like…goodbye, Steve, who likes spring nights and summer mornings. His favorite food is breakfast and he wishes he kept with the music lessons his mom paid for instead of being peer pressured into sports. Whose best friend was Robin Buckley because she was brave and funny and stuck with him during his ironic and a little bit terrifying queer awakening…

Hello, Donor 0235. Blood type O. Allergic to nickel and checks off all vaccination requirements.

“Steve’s not wrong,” his mother echoed like a voice deep in a cave, drawing Steve out of his thoughts. “He is the one to sign the contract. Not you.”

“He is still classified as our dependent and on our insurance,” his father refused.

“So being an adult means nothing in this country?”

“They have our family records, Annette!” he exclaimed. “There is a dual government in this country even if nobody below upper-middle class sees it. The human government had to cede a great deal because the vampire population is massive. And they’ve kept track of all the Sanguis families! Name changes, and two World Wars did nothing to save us—”

“The what?” Steve all but whispered.

His mother rotated her hips to face him. “We only have legends about how it happened. Paleolithic gods making deals, vampires crossbreeding humans to make a certain kind of blood donor, human evolution after symbiotic deals were struck—but that doesn’t matter. The point is that there are people in this world with abilities that preserve themselves against vampires. That’s why you healed in less than two days after that silly fight by the movie theatre.”

His father intercepted, “The genes skipped your mother but fell to you.”

Steve’s eyes widened as his mother confirmed, “To protect us, girls have been promoted in the family tree for generations. Through marriage, their names could change, and make them harder to track.”

Steve countered toward his father, “So this really isn’t your place to sign my life away. Like five times over.”

“I quite agree,” his mother turned back to the man she’d married. The man who was supposed to protect her and her children with his name and promising, growing business.

At least Steve wasn’t the only failure in the family.

His father massaged his forehead and defended, “As I said. Humans’ government is far easier to corrupt our way into forgiving any debt. The vampires, however, are inconsolable. The bastard would have my business, the cars, our house, and taken his time discovering Steve on his own if I hadn’t—”

Steve took after his father, but he was his mother’s son as they both stood up from the couch, furious that this man had thrown his own kid under a vampire’s bus—

“Get out of the house, Steve.”

His head whipped around at her. “I-What?”

“Get out of the house,” she seethed, but not at him. “I don’t care where or what you do. Go.”

Steve didn’t need to be told twice but he hadn’t managed to grab his car keys or his shoes before the house and his ribcage trembled with his parents’ arguing. He went in his socks outside and put the shoes on in his car.

Then…he didn’t know where to go. Running the hell away seemed like the obvious solution, but if vampires really had such a network, what was the point? And if he left, what would happen to his mom?

Steve drove on autopilot to the video rental store. Robin. All he had was Robin, who took the lollipop out of her mouth when the bell on the door twittered. “Hey, dingus, it’s your day off—Steve?”

He couldn’t really remember driving. That probably should have raised more red flags than he already had, but for now, the black and neon carpeting of the Family Video was blurring and swirling…

“I’m gonna throw up,” he heard himself say.

And Robin in that distant, echoing cave his mother had spoken from, “Outside! STEVE!”

#harringrove #vampire!billy #blood donor!steve #sanguis #neonponders #pondermoniums #ghostofjellyfishforgotten

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Characters in ANF Who Would’ve Made Better Love Interests Than Kate

There are a lot of mixed opinions on TWDG: A New Frontier. Some people like it, some don’t, and some people hate it so much that they refuse to accept as canon in the series. Extreme? Yeah, but hey, to each their own. 

One thing that always bothers me when I do my replay of the series and this game is how much Kate is forced on us and even kinda punishes us for not romancing her. Like, no offense, but I’m not really interested in dating my sister-in-law, especially when her husband is actually alive, and even if she wasn’t my brother’s wife, she’s still not a character I have chemistry with, y’know? 

And every time I play, I can’t help but think that almost anyone else in ANF would’ve been a better romantic interest for Javi over Kate, so I decided to make that the list for this week. 

I would’ve loved more choices and for the game to actually show Javi’s canon bisexuality outside of a flirty line with Jesus that most players didn’t even pick. Just sayin’.

I do want to note that if you enjoy the romance with Kate and the relationship between her and Javi, that’s totally cool. Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean you can’t ship them, y’know? I’m not here to try to change your mind or tell you you’re bad for shipping something I don’t because I’m not a dingus. You do what makes you happy, friend. :)

Besides, going off the stats, a majority of players romanced her so if anything, I’m the weirdo. This list is just for fun! 

Before we start, just wanna say a big thank you to @pi-creates​ for helping out with this one! Really appreciate it! Now, here are my top 5 characters who, in my opinion, would’ve made better love interests for Javier than Kate.

5. Jane if the writers didn’t turn her into a dead potato

Oh man, you should see your face right now. 

Wait, wait, stop! Before you click outta here in a huff with your “Kenny good Jane bad” grunts and come yell at me, just hear me out-- this entry is mostly a joke and the other four on this list are serious, okay? 

I needed someone to put at #5 and after talking over some options and going back and forth.... Jane came up as a joke and then kind of made the list. Because really, I thought about it. I was like, “Would I really rather have dingdong “whatever happens stay out of it” potato face Jane as a love interest over Kate? Do I dislike Kate as an option that much?” and Pi and I talked about this for a while and yeah.... yeah I would actually. 

When I said anyone but Kate, I guess I really meant anyone. 

Trust me, I know, I’m just as surprised. I guess this really says a lot about my feelings for Kate. I didn’t know I disliked her this much either.

But for fun, let’s entertain this idea of the writers NOT pulling the ol’ character assassination on Jane and she made it to Richmond with Clementine and AJ because--

Jane: "One time I ate glass because I was drunk and thought it was sugar."

Javier: "I gambled on my own baseball matches and disgraced myself for money."

Jane: “Well, I dragged my little sister around with me after everything went to shit until I finally gave her what she wanted and left her to die.”

Javier: “I wasn’t there when my dad was fighting cancer and when I finally showed up, I was too late and he was already dead, then he turned and I bashed his skull in with a piece of wood.” 

Jane: “I shot a dude’s dick off once.”

Javier: “Oof. I insulted an old lady’s cake and then shot her eye out.”

Jane: “I screwed a guy when I was supposed to be securing a place for some lady to have her baby and it resulted in the death of a teenage girl.”

Javier: “I screwed my brother’s wife.” 

Jane: “...”

Javier: “In my defense, I thought he was dead.” 

Jane: “That’s fair.”

Clementine, exasperated and emo: “Oh my god.” 

....I mean... we might be onto something here, c’mon--

Okay, now onto the more legit entries. 

4. Conrad

Now listen... I know, okay? I know. I know this one can be seen as a bit problematic considering the fact that Conrad, in his grief and anger over Francine’s death, held a gun to Gabe’s head and threatened Javi and Clementine.... plus Javi can literally murder him.

...and if you don’t do anything, Conrad with murder both Gabe and Javi and you’ll get a “YOU ARE DEAD” screen...

But we don’t talk about that because it’s not canon.

I know, but listen... I’m allowed to have ships that are difficult, as are you, and this is my list so... there.

If Conrad was a love interest that’s the route I’d take because I love him and I think a relationship between him and Javi could’ve been so damn good if properly done.

I just find Conrad to be an interesting character with a great arc that you only get to see if you don’t shoot him... which is what most people did, so they missed out. And like, I get it, I get why y’all shot him but maybe next time you play, you could consider not doing that?

So here’s the thing, Javi and Conrad share something-- they both lost loved ones because of shithead Badger. Javi is heartbroken after Mariana’s death, Conrad is devastated after Francine’s death, and they both handle that in different ways. Conrad becomes so focused on revenge and getting into Richmond, that he’s willing to threaten two kids in order to get what he wants but the thing is... that’s not him.

He even says so himself when you keep him alive-- he genuinely apologizes for what happened and will end up coming back to save Javi’s life in ep4. The potential for this to work as a relationship? It’s there... the only problem is that my confidence in the writers handling something like this is low, but let’s pretend they used their time and brains wisely-- ya got yourself a classic slow-burn friends to enemies to friends again to lovers romance and I’m here for it. 

3. Paul “Jesus” Monroe

A lot of people really like the idea of Javi and Jesus and wanted him to be a romantic option, and I don’t blame them. They have chemistry in the scenes they share, and Javi can straight up flirt with him at the end of the season, and it’s super cute... of course, I wish we had more but Telltale was too scared to actually show Javi’s bisexuality outside of that one line, I guess.

But, anyway, this ship has a lot of sweet fanart that we love to see.

The only real reason he isn’t higher on the list is that Jesus is apparently already in a relationship at this point? I guess? From what I’ve been told? Listen, I don’t read the comics, I don’t watch the show, I just go off what y’all tell me. Plus, I believe Kent joked about Jesus having someone in each community during the commentaries so like... that’s a thing?

But let’s pretend that we throw that all out and Jesus is single and ready to be in a committed relationship with our boy Javier here. Like I mentioned above, these characters have a believable chemistry from the moment they meet and I think that has a lot to do with how charming they are by themselves. Those different charms work well together.

I also enjoy how much of a badass Jesus is when it comes to fighting off walkers. Javi has a lot of force that you feel with each hit, while Jesus almost has a lighter but just as impactful hit? I dunno if I’m explaining that well-- basically, Javi strong but Jesus can bounce off walls and do cool shit with weapons that feels effortless.

It’s a combo of fighting styles that I love, so these two fighting together? *chef kiss*

There’s also Jesus’ morality and how he wants to see Javier make “good” decisions, y’know? Sure, he gets pissy if you murder the shit outta Badger, which is mostly just Telltale showing you consequences, but I get it. He sees a lot of potential in Javi, more than Javi himself sees. And unlike certain characters, Jesus doesn’t completely hate you for doing something he doesn’t agree with to a frustrating degree.

If the game gave us the option to pursue Jesus as a love interest, he and Javier would’ve been such a badass couple with a sweet romance.

2. Eleanor

This one might come as a surprise to those of you who know my feelings about Eleanor... as in, I don’t like her. I never forgave her for the shit she pulled in ep4/ep5, and now every time I replay ANF and she shows up? Well, all I really hear is the hissing of a snake.

But, putting those feelings aside and looking at her from a different perspective, I do believe that she would’ve made for a better love interest than Kate assuming that if you romanced her, she wouldn’t rat everyone out to Joan, y’know?

Hell, most people believed that Eleanor was going to be the second option with Kate back when the episodes were coming out, and for good reason. The chemistry is there in the flirting, and their relationship could’ve been super cute.

Of course, Eleanor being a love interest also comes with things becoming awkward with Tripp, but c’mon-- as awkward as pursuing a relationship with your sister-in-law and never telling your brother after finding out he’s alive? Nah, I don’t think so.

Plus, for the first three episodes, Eleanor’s not a bad character. In fact, she’s pretty damn likable, she deeply cares for the group and wants to use her medical skills for good.

And you can tell through the dialogue that she and Javi are fond of one another... well, I guess until they shove the Kate thing in our faces and suddenly Eleanor’s like “oh, I thought you two were a thing??” like... Eleanor, we were flirting and I totally rejected all of Kate’s advances last episode I mean??

If she were a love interest, instead of turning on us, she would... y’know, not do that and instead help us out. We have a couple cute moments like back in ep1 where she’s patching Javi up but this time with a smooch? Super cute.

1. Tripp

Okay but seriously, why wasn’t Tripp a love interest? 

He’s the perfect option. I just-- uuuughhhhh. 

They already have a great believable bromance, so why not take it a step further and make it an official romance? Oh wait, that’s right, ya gotta kill off 95% of your determinant characters, I forgot. Sorry Tripp. 

Well, fuck that. Out of all the other adult characters, Javi has the most chemistry with this man. I believe them more than I believe him and Kate. Sure, they got off to a rocky start the progression of their relationship felt natural with every episode. 

That scene where Tripp is confiding in Javi about his feelings for Eleanor? And in turn, Javi can confide in him about Kate? One of my favorite scenes. I only wish there was an option to tell Tripp he can do much better and set the path for the romance. 

Seriously, I’d probably feel more okay about the romance with Kate if Tripp were the second option. That way, Kate wouldn’t be so forced onto the player, the writers confirming Javi’s bisexuality on Twitter or whatever wouldn’t feel like they were trying to earn points without actually showing representation, and we would’ve gotten the beauty that is Javier and Tripp. 

Also, then Tripp could make it to the end without dying that dumb death of his that no one likes. 

And if I haven’t convinced you yet, then look at these swaps Pi did--

--and tell me they aren’t fucking perfect?? You can’t, because look at them. 

Where’s my Tripp route, Telltale??

---

Honorable Mentions

-If I wasn’t sticking to just ANF characters, Luke probably would’ve made the list because that’s apparently a popular combo and I dig it.  -Pudding... because Javi fucking loves pudding.  -Honestly Max probably would’ve been a better love interest than Kate oof--

---

So, whattya think? Do you agree with this top 5 or nah? Do you have a favorite Javi ship? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you. :D

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Times Lee was the Absolute Best

#twdg t5f #twdg javi #twdg javier #twdg kate #twdg gabe #twdg mariana #twdg clementine #twdg tripp #twdg conrad #twdg eleanor #twdg jane #twdg kenny #twdg jesus

[thecreelhouse]

lonely for her

Paring: Robin Buckley x Original Henderson!Female Character (Jade)

Summary: Robin and Jade hate each other, and can’t put aside their differences, even during the events at Starcourt while their lives are on the line. Murray is sick of their shit, and finally calls them out.

Word count: 2,927

Warnings: cursing, angst, nonsensical arguing, enemies to lovers bullshit, fluff, season 3 spoilers

A/N: okay hi!! I tried doing this as a reader insert and I just can’t get into writing things like that, I’m sorry y’all. Maybe it just takes a few tries. Hope y’all still enjoy this with another OFC, though!! I never see these fics for Robin (but pllllleeeeeeeease throw them my way if they exist!!), so I wanted to give it a shot. Title is from ‘lonely for her’ by jack’s mannequin!! Enjoy!!<3

“Do we have to separate you two? You’re both acting so childish!”

Ignoring Murray’s comment, Jade looked away, frustrated enough to cause herself to start crying. She’d be damned if she let any tears fall, though. To her, crying meant she was weak. Meant she was already giving up a fight. Giving up in any fight was no option.

“Yeah, well, not like Jade knows how to act otherwise.” Robin spat back, glaring at the other girl. Jade still wouldn’t look at anyone, though.

“Robin, seriously? Just drop it. We’ve got worse to worry about right now.” Steve suggested, trying to keep the peace between his friends. It was true, they had much worse to worry about; they just narrowly escaped from an underground Russian base below Starcourt, and they barely made it past the Russians searching for them throughout the mall itself. If it wasn’t for El throwing a car with her mind, the group would have been dead.

Dustin got up off the floor, pulling himself from the group of kids surrounding El as they tried to help with her gnarly wound, and over to his older sister. “Hey, you okay?”

Jade refused to look at her brother, not wanting to cry in front of him, especially. She was always the strong one in the family, always holding steady and firm like the rock he and their mother always needed. She hated having to rely on anyone else.

“Fine.” Jade managed to say, voice cracking, still looking down, kicking her shoe against the floor. “Just wish Robin would leave me the hell alone in a time like this.”

She thought she was quiet enough, but Robin still heard every word Jade said, and immediately began defending herself. “You wouldn’t have to wish that if you just stayed the hell home like you should have!”

Jade rolled her eyes, sucking in a breath, crossing her arms before finally facing back around to Robin. “Forgive me for caring for my brother and my friends! You’re so selfish sometimes, Robin.”

“Me? Nobody asked you to be the hero down there, Jade. Nobody asked you to do shit!”

“I don’t have to be asked to do anything to help out the people I care about.” Jade’s voice cracked again, and it wasn’t until she felt the tears reach the edge of her chin when she realized that she was crying. She had been crying. Jade swore she saw something in Robin’s expression soften, just for a moment, before growing cold again.

Jade had no idea what they were even fighting about anymore, exactly. Her and Robin never really got along to begin with, they had never really coexisted peacefully, and it didn’t help that she saw more of Robin this summer, with Steve working at Scoops Ahoy with her, and because Steve and Dustin were friends, by default, Jade just saw more of her. Jade adored her brother, would do anything to protect him and make sure he was happy at the drop of a hat, and she adored how close Dustin and Steve were. Dustin needed that, even if Steve was a total idiot at times, she knew their bond was special. But god, she’d be a liar if she said she was fine with Robin’s existence coming along with all of that.

“What are you two even fighting about anymore?” Murray snapped, grabbing the girls’ attention. “All of your friends and family are in danger, and you’re here having this meaningless squabble like you’re married.”

Jade’s eyes jumped to Robin, quick enough to watch her face drop and skin pale just a bit, enough to show Murray struck a nerve somewhere. Jade’s stomach backflipped, not sure exactly why.

“Yeah, yeah, Murray, don’t you have plans to discuss with the grown-ups over there?” Dustin interjected, unknowingly directing attention away from the ever growing tension.

Murray glared at Dustin for a moment before looking back between Jade and Robin. “Fine, but if you guys want to survive this night, go work out your romantic squabbles and sexual tension elsewhere, and fast.” He scoffed before walking away, leaving the girls floored. Thankfully, the only others paying attention were Steve and Dustin, while the rest of the kids were coming up with a plan of their own to keep El safe from the Mind Flayer.

“Wait, what does he mean by tha-“

“Uh, Dustin, why don’t we go over here, give them some space...” Steve trailed off, trying to drag Jade’s younger brother away from the now incredibly awkward situation unfolding.

“But they’re gi-“

“Dustin.” Steve hissed, dragging him away by the arm, leaving Robin and Jade alone. Jade watched them increase the distance, confusion written all over Dustin’s face.

Robin stepped a bit closer, pulling Jade back to the moment at hand, and sending chills up her spine when she saw how close they were.

“You know what’s funny about Murray talking out of his ass?” Robin started, looking over at Jade with a smirk. “That bastard is right sometimes.”

Jade’s eyes widened, “Wh- wait. What do you mean?”

Robin faced Jade, now looking down on the ground, anywhere but directly at Jade. She took in a deep breath before saying, “Before you, Dustin and Erica found us in the bathroom, I uh... I came out to Steve.”

Jade felt her voice stuck in her throat, not sure how to respond to this, and why was Robin even telling her?

“Like- you- you like-“

“Jesus, Henderson, you’re a pain in my ass, but you’re cute when you’re flustered.” Robin mumbled, still smiling, still looking away from Jade until she spoke again. “I like girls.”

Jade felt her mind spin, not sure why this news made her stomach flutter, still unsure why Robin even mentioned it to her. And did she just call her cute? “Um... how did that even come up?”

“Apparently Steve had a thing for me. Has? Had? Whatever, either way, it ain’t happening.” Robin snorted, and it pulled a chuckle out of Jade, surprising herself. “Had to break it to him the hard way, but he took it well. Figured I might wanna admit it to someone else, y’know, in case we die tonight, or whatever.”

Jade’s stomach was filled with butterflies at this point. Ignoring them as best as she could, she said, “We’re not gonna die tonight, no one is, Robin.” To which, Robin rolled her eyes to.

“I’m serious. We’ve watched these kids battle this shit before. El could take anyone, anything out, no problem. Steve might be a total dingus, but he is great at protecting the little shitheads, and Dustin is a smart cookie-“

“Okay, okay, I get it!” Robin laughed, interrupting Jade’s rambles. Still unsure, she forced herself to believe Jade. “If you guys survived shit in the past, we’ll all be fine.”

A tiny smile curved its way upon Jade’s face at Robin. “And if we do die, I’m sorry for being such a pain in the ass to you, Robin. You’re not so awful, you know.”

Robin’s face fell, softened, even, before replying. “I don’t hate you, you know. It’s... it’s complicated.”

Jade’s brow quirked up, but Robin looked away.

“If we survive tonight, we can figure it out later, alright?” Robin said, clear she wanted the topic to drop. Jade just nodded, not wanting to push any buttons. “You’re not so awful yourself, Jade.”

———

Saying they survived was just an understatement. They made it out by the skin of their teeth, unaware just how intense the night would become, with the Mind Flayer wreaking havoc on everyone and everything in its path. El, who ended up powerless, was only still alive because Billy jumped in the way. Saved her by sacrificing himself. And they saw it all. Jade wanted to take a wire scrubby to her brain to rid it of all the gruesome events.

Hopper didn’t make it back either. Jade was wrong, and she knew she was lying to keep herself calm, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Jade was wrong, and shaken up by what she saw, what she experienced. She was grateful any of them made it out alive, but the pain still ached in her heart. Nothing would be the same ever again.

“Hey,” Robin said, sitting next to Jade in the back of an ambulance. Jade was wrapped in a blanket, any sign of emotion had been shaken out of her. She stared at the ground, in a daze.

Robin pulled her into a side hug, and without hesitation, Jade rested her head on Robin’s shoulder, feeling the tears sting her eyes again, not caring if they fell anymore. She didn’t have the energy to hold them back anymore.

Steve walked over to the girls; he was making his rounds, checking on everyone as soon as he got the A-OK from the medic that he was good to go. Still a battered mess, he was more worried about everyone else before himself.

“I think we’re all going to stay over at Joyce’s tonight, if you guys want to join. The kids don’t want to leave her alone, and I’m sure as hell not going back to an empty house either.” Steve offered, and Robin nodded, listening, but more focused on comforting Jade as she put her other arm around the distraught girl. Steve gave Robin a puzzled look, and Robin shot one back that loudly said, “not now, dingus.”

“If either of you need rides, let me know soon okay? I want to get the hell away from here.” Steve said before walking off to give them space. He glanced back at Robin, noticing Jade was looking away, and shot Robin a quick thumbs up. Robin rolled her eyes before pulling Jade closer into a hug.

“Did you hear any of that?” She asked Jade, and Jade sniffled, pulling her head off of Robin’s shoulder.

“Yeah, but I think I’m going to head home tonight.” Jade whispered, looking down. “I bothered you all to cover for at least a fucking year.”

“You’re not bothering anyone, Jade.” Robin quickly corrected her. “You’re definitely not bothering me.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“No way, not one bit.” Robin said firmly. Jade sighed. “You drove tonight, right? Do you think we could leave together? Just us two? I want to talk about this with you, honestly.”

“Why, so you can kill me and ditch my body in the woods?” Jade snarked, a glimmer of humor shining through. Robin chuckled, shaking her head.

“Only if you keep this shitty self talk up. C’mon. I can drive us, if you’re okay with that.” Robin offered, and Jade grew quiet, contemplating the idea. She guessed they might as well get it all out in the open, that the worst of the night was over, and life was too short to be so spiteful towards one another.

Nodding, she slowly pulled her keys out of her pocket, handing them over to Robin. Grabbing them and letting her hand linger a bit too long on top of Jade’s palm, Robin took the keys before standing up, and pulling Jade with her. She pulled a side of the blanket off Jade, wrapping herself next to the girl before they began walking to Jade’s car.

What no one around saw, was Robin’s arm sneaking around Jade’s waist under the blanket, making Jade’s heart beat wildly.

After climbing in and starting the car, Robin began slowly driving off in silence, not sure exactly where to start. Jade stayed quiet, waiting for Robin to begin, since it was her idea. Robin drove just under the speed limit, trying to give them enough time to talk as necessary.

“I don’t hate you, you know.” Robin finally spoke up, almost startling Jade from her daze. “I don’t hate you at all. Never did.”

“Kinda’ hard to believe, considering how you treat me.” Jade mumbled, wrapped in the blanket still. “Now you’re just being nice to me because we could’ve died.”

“No, that’s not the case either.” Robin groaned, trying to find an easier way to word her thoughts. “I’m really fucking glad you didn’t die, by the way.”

Jade turned to Robin, watching her as she continued driving. “I’m glad you didn’t die either.”

Taking in a shaky breath, Robin continued. “Y’know, all this death and shit is making me realize how stupid I’ve been. Life is too short for us to be at each other’s throats like this, Jade. And I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

Jade watched as her bottom lip quivered, trying to hold strong, stay away from crying, and the first thought that popped into Jade’s mind was how she wanted to kiss Robin, distract her from how shitty things have been, even for a moment.

Then she thought further, I’m a girl. Girls don’t do that together. Followed by, but she came out to me earlier. Maybe that really is okay, then.

Disrupting her thoughts, Robin spoke again. “I know I’ve been a real jerk, like, really rotten to you, Jade, and saying sorry won’t make it disappear... but I mean it. I thought I had to be mean to ignore these ... these thoughts, these feelings-“

Jade sat up a bit at her words, “What thoughts and feelings, Robin?”

Robin’s eyes flickered in the side mirrors, then the rear view mirror, seeing the street was empty besides the two of them, and slammed on the brakes. Startled, Jade gasped.

“What are you doing, Robin?!”

Robin threw the car into park, and let go of the steering wheel, burying her head in her hands, confusing Jade further.

“You, you are all I’ve thought about for years, now.” She mumbled into her hands, and Jade felt her heart drop. “I didn’t like that. Didn’t want to get close, because why get close to someone when you can’t have them? Why go through that pain?”

“Robin, I-“

“I’ve fallen for straight girls before, Jade, and it blows.” She began crying, afraid to pick her head back up. “I wasn’t going to let it happen again, and I tried distancing myself, and it just ended up hurting you in the process. You deserved none of this.”

Glad the backroad they were on was still empty, Jade glanced in the mirrors to be sure once more before directing her gaze back to Robin. “You’re kidding me, right?”

Robin pulled her head up, eyes red and wet, finally looking over at Jade. “Why would I joke about this, Jade? You’re so pretty, and kind, and you have such a big heart for your friends- I couldn’t let you get close. I couldn’t mistake you being a genuine human being for more.”

Jade shut her eyes tight before speaking strong, even with a shaky voice. “You might’ve assumed wrong, you know.” Eyes slowly opening, she looked back at Robin, whose eyes were wide now.

“... you?-“

“Listen, I don’t know what I am, and I’m not concerned about that right now. All I wanted was to be friends at first, but seeing you almost every day this summer, I- I don’t know- this is so different for me, and terrifying. I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore, but with this, I don’t care.” Jade explained, reaching for Robin’s hands, gently cradling them in her own.

Speechless, Robin could only watch and listen as Jade continued.

“All I know is, for sure, I- I think- no, I know, I like you, Robin.” Jade’s voice continued to shake, never hearing such an honest confession fall from her own mouth. “I really like you.”

“You promise this isn’t a prank-“

“Swear on Cerebro, and Dustin would kill me if anything happened to that hunk of metal.” Jade smiled, and a laugh tumbled out of Robin, putting her tears on hold.

“Jesus- now I feel even worse for being so rotten to you, Jade.” Robin muttered, and Jade shook her head.

“We can make up for lost time, now, though. We both survived the night, remember?”

Without missing a beat, Robin unbuckled herself in a swift motion, leaning closer, cupping Jade’s face in her hands. Jade moved closer, resting her forehead on Robin’s. Silence and their shaky breaths and rapid heartbeats were the only noise around them.

Jade wasn’t sure who closed the gap first, but she was so sure she saw fireworks behind her closed eyes as she and Robin kissed softly. Her lips were a little rough, tasting like vanilla and a hint of blood, and Jade smiled into the kiss, pulling her crush closer.

A blaring horn startled them apart, breaking their moment. They watched as a car sped around them, Dustin hanging out of the car’s window, with Steve driving. They heard him release a victory yell, shooting a fist up into the air, his voice muffled through the windows. The entire scene caused a fit of laughter to rise out of the girls.

“Guess Steve explained to him what Murray said earlier.” Jade laughed, shaking her head as she kissed Robin’s cheek.

“Well, this whole coming out thing is terrifying, but at least that reaction has been worth it all.” Robin joked while grabbing Jade’s hand, lacing their fingers together. With her other hand, she put the car in drive to finish the trip to the Byers’ house.

“That old bastard was definitely right.” Robin mumbled, her thumb gently grazing back and forth on the back of Jade’s hand. Jade giggled before Robin added, “Don’t tell him I said that.”

“I swear on Cerebro, baby.”

#robin buckley x oc #robin buckley x ofc #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x henderson!reader #robin buckley x you #robin buckley fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things x oc #stranger things x ofc #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #my fics #lonely for her

[crystalelemental]

While I’m busy annoying fans of Genealogy with my general disinterest in its cast, here are some other characters I have strong opinions about:

Sigurd’s not nearly as interesting as people make him out to be.  The main action leading to him being branded a traitor was super avoidable and his squire even points out that he’s making a mistake.  His “romance” with Deirdre is one of the most shallow things the series has produced, and literally none of the awful events of Act 2 would’ve happened if he had just kept it in his pants.  His actions during the war are made with good intentions that often lead to further conflict, but most of the critical actions that cause disaster were super avoidable and complete his fault.  Good job, moron.

Arvis is also a putz.  Look, I get it.  His entire point is that he’s trying to build the world for the better, but is highly questionable in his means.  Cool concept!  Problem is we spend like no time with him, and the only indications of this are his discussions with Manfroy, where he talks about how he’s not going to persecute them like in ages past, but he’s also definitely not going to let them revive the baby eating god they worship.  Okay, solid.  The issue is, he knows full well he carries Loptyr blood, and that’s why Manfroy is sticking around.  And suddenly, Manfroy appears with some lady with amnesia, and is oddly insistent on you fucking this woman and having kids.  Did...did you never think about who this woman was, or why Manfroy’s so invested in her sex life?  This is not a difficult conclusion to reach, buddy.

I mentioned Eldigan, but it bears repeating: I hate the Camus archetype, and he’s one of the most annoying.  “I am honor-bound to follow my lord’s every command, I cannot join you and must instead try to get them to see reason.”  Yeah, and you know who else had this exact dilemma like two chapters ago?  Jamke.  Guess who’s on our side now, after realizing how fucked up his king was?  Jamke.  There’s no reason you couldn’t do this too.  Honestly, every time the Camus archetype shows up for a leader who is a complete buffoon, I always think of Wallace’s supports with Kent in FE7.  How his king ordered him to capture his daughter and bring her back from the plains, no matter what.  But when Wallace saw the love she shared with the man from the plains, he let her go, because he knew his king would never forgive himself if he tore Lyn’s parents apart.  Wallace put what was best for his king ahead of the order, and the entire moral is that, even if you’re punished for it, your duty is not to the title, but to the person, and you must act in the best interests of the people you serve, not blindly follow a command that would cause everyone harm.  So yeah, I don’t care to hear about the honor-bound idiots who are given plenty of chances to do the right thing but insist on staying with a sinking ship that’s also on fire.

Deirdre is a non-entity, so there’s really no point in talking about her.  Seriously, she exists almost entirely to produce the children that will be plot-critical in Act 2, but otherwise has effectively zero agency.  She shows up and immediately wants to fuck Sigurd, spends one chapter helping, and is immediately kidnapped afterward to be brainwashed and become Arvis’ wife.  Then she dies off-screen before the events of Act 2.  But she and Sigurd just loved each other so much!  They just saw each other and had such an overwhelming desire to fuck, it must have been love!  At least Deirdre’s excuse is being secluded away from men all her life and not knowing how to handle these feelings; what’s Sigurd’s excuse?

Quan and Ethlyn are actually wonderful.  No complaints.  But I do have another for Sigurd.  Hey, remember when they died?  Remember when Sigurd is told that people were ambushed in the desert and everyone’s dead, and he pieces together that it was his sister and his best friend?  Remember how that comment is all we get for his reaction to their loss, how it’s never brought up a single time ever again, and how Sigurd shows absolutely nothing about the devastation of this loss?  Yeah, but hey, it’s fine, you don’t need more dialogue to make a compelling story.  It just would’ve been nice for Genealogy to be a compelling story by having characters actually matter more than they apparently do.

Ayra’s cool, but her brother’s an idiot.  In her conversation with Quan, she mentioned that Quan’s suspicion is correct, and that the king was not responsible for the deaths of those from Grannvale.  A random lord took action without consent, so the king had that lord executed, and went to make peace with Grannvale, only to be assassinated along the way.  So what does her brother do?  “We gotta go to war.”  Uh...you know you’ll be slaughtered, right?  “Yeah, but my honor, though.”  Gen 1 was mostly a bunch of morons given political power and asked to play intelligently.  They all fucked up.

Lewyn...okay, I don’t like Lewyn.  I get his whole thing is running from responsibility, and being tired of the in-fighting over the crown, but his solution of just leaving is petty and childish.  It’s not that there isn’t some level of understanding there.  He’s just not doing it for me.  I do, however, appreciate how self-loathing he is in Gen 2.

No one else in Gen 1 really matters at all to anything substantial, so boy, it’d have been nice to have support conversations to flesh out everyone else a bit more.  But hey, maybe the sequel, right?

Seliph is pretty cool.  I don’t have a ton to say, but his story kinda allows him to take an easier route to power, with a more clear antagonist and the world at large being more united in his cause of overthrowing the empire.  Not particularly compelling, but not doing anything stupid or uninteresting.

Leif inherits being awesome from both of his parents, who were also awesome.  His sister, Altena, is also really cool.  Altena in particular actually gets a lot.  Having been taken in by the man who killed her parents, she’s grown up thinking that he is her true father.  Her character is in a position to act more as a bridge between two smaller nations that have constantly been at war, having the bloodline connection to Leif and to Leonster, while having her upbringing in Thracia and feeling a family connection to Arion, the true son of Travant.  She’s one of the better characters in this game, I think.

Ares is actually one of my favorites in this entire game.  He and Lene have great supports, but more importantly, you know what sets Ares apart?  Having a brain cell.  As soon as he realizes the corrupt lord he works for sent him out to the front lines and has likely taken Lene captive, he immediately turns coat, intent on killing everyone in his way to save her.  Thank you, Ares.  Thank you for being better than your father, who would’ve meekly decided he can’t disobey orders because he’s totally too honorable and not a fucking coward for letting his sister almost get killed.

Julia...oh my god, I have so much to say on Julia.  Has anyone following me noticed I kinda like the Eirika archetypes?  The female characters that are mostly really collected and quiet, occasionally have a showing of fire, and are ultimately either heavily under-utilized and ignored by the plot or given a story that’s really not very good despite how strong their character could’ve been if the story weren’t...the way that it is?  That’s Julia.  I adore Julia.  She spends most of the game not doing much, mostly being silent and also an amnesiac.  She gets like two conversations with Seliph, and they’re...they’re okay.  Nothing exceptional, just...okay.  But hysterically, once she’s kidnapped, she starts to show the makings of a really great character.  She’s compassionate and understanding to her father, who’s realized what a dingus he was, but pushes back against Julius/Loptyr and is pretty up-front about how willing she is now to kill her brother if it means stopping evil from being unleashed in the world.  She refuses to go quietly, and claims she’ll fight them to the end.  And, you know...is promptly brainwashed and spends the entire chapter as an enemy until Seliph kills Manfroy and lets her snap out of it.  Not even just talks to her, that won’t work unless Manfroy’s dead.  She doesn’t even get enough agency to break free of control under her own will.  This is the issue with Julia.  She should be fantastic.  She’s a character who carries the blood of both Naga and Loptyr, the greatest good and the greatest evil of this world.  Within her is a very concrete expression of the good/evil dichotomy that all humans face, and through her actions she chooses to do good for the world, yet acknowledges the potential for evil within her and struggles against it.  That’s super compelling!  Hell, that’s the most compelling character narrative in this entire game!  And what does it amount to?  Jack fucking shit, because her declaration of intent is immediately sidelined for her to be controlled by another for the entire chapter and made to do evil, until the male hero breaks the spell for her.  Only then is she allowed to confront her brother and actually show agency.  Her character arc should’ve been the diamond in the rough, and all the agency and development she brings to the table is immediately undermined.  Julia, sweetie, you deserved so much better than this.

Ugh, that one hurt to complain about.  But since we’re on the topic, Julius.  We’re supposed to be sad about how he’s completely taken over by Loptyr and needs to be stopped.  But...we never really know anything about Julius.  At all.  Julia talks a bit about how he used to be kind, but that’s...that’s it.  There’s no effort to have her and Arvis share stories about what the family used to be like, or give any indication of how close they were aside from saying it was the case once or twice.  So the plight of Julius, the boy who’s possessed, is completely lost on us, and as a result, Julia’s decision to fight against and kill her brother if that’s what it takes, feels a little less impactful, because you just...don’t have any emotional attachment to what’s being lost.

Ishtar is another Camus archetype, but a rare one where I kinda like her?  Kinda.  She’s come far enough to recognize that Julius is killing people and it’s a problem, and does her utmost to circumvent his violent tendencies and save people.  So why doesn’t she just leave?  Well even that’s pretty taken care of.  She was the betrothed of Julius.  She loved him.  Which means she’s another character who could’ve had meaningful dialogue about who he used to be to build up tension, but we’re not talking about that now.  She stays in part because of that love, but also because he’s violent, and seems to have his eye on her at all times.  She’s effectively stuck in an abusive relationship, unable to make a move for fear of what retaliation he might exact on her or the people she’s trying to keep safe.  That’s a way more compelling reason for a character to stick with an awful ruler.  It sucks, but at least it’s ultimately understandable, unlike Eldigan over here.

Oifey and Shanan I feel like should be more interesting characters, but they don’t really get enough time to be much else.  And if those two, who are meant to be prominent, got very little, you can kinda guess that the rest of the cast has basically nothing going for them.

Honestly, a lot of the events of Genealogy at large feel super avoidable, and largely created by idiots being allowed to make decisions.  But on the smaller level, and especially within Gen 2, I feel like all the game needs is support conversations and maybe more dialogue that didn’t focus so heavily on bloodlines.  The history is interesting, but it comes at the expense of most character development, and that’s really not a good trade.  I know people hate when I bring it up, but maybe if the maps were actually chunked and made into several smaller chapters, we could use wind-up and conclusion to castles being taken as a means to fill in more character moments, instead of just having quick exposition dumps and moving on.

#fire emblem genealogy

[bigasswritingmagnet]

Once More, With Sincerity

Fandom: Deadpool (comics)

Pairing: Cablepool

Rating: PG-13, I guess?

Summary: There's a big, creepy, psychic tentacle monster making a mess downtown, and the X-Men are having some trouble coming up with a way to take it down. Nathan has an idea -- and this time Wade's going to like it.

Nobody else will though.

Sequel to Petty Doesn't Look Good on Us

AO3 link | I do commissions! | Ko-fi

“Why are psychic monsters always shaped like giant brains?” Wade asked. The monster turned slowly, one impossibly giant eye roving towards him.

Both Jubilee and Emma grabbed him by the arms and hauled him back down behind the half-destroyed wall, out of sight.

“Stop standing up!” Jubilee hissed at him. “It’s going to see you!”

“Well so-rry,” Wade grumbled. “Wait, one more time.”

“Wade-!”

“I knew it,” he said, dropping back down. “This thing is a blatant rip-off of the tentacle monster from Watchmen. Beak, weird brain head, tentacles—except the one in Watchmen didn’t walk on the tentacles and it didn’t shoot eyebeams, it just kinda landed on people.”

“Could someone please make him stop,” Jubilee asked the world at large.

“Greater men than you have tried, my dude.”

“Alright, I’ve seen enough,” Emma said, rubbing her forehead. “We need to go back.”

They awkwardly crouch-walked their way back to the mostly-intact 7-11 the X-Men (and Wade) had turned into their temporary base. Straight confrontation had gone disastrously: the thing was shielded from bullets and absorbed psychic attacks of any kind. Since the team consisted of three psychics, a walking sparkler, claws, and lasers (and Wade), they were going to need a very creative solution.

“We’re back,” Emma announced. She swept through the entrance with a level of drama that seemed wholly out of place amongst the debris of snack cakes and exploded soda bottles.  “Some news, and it isn’t great.” In a slightly softer tone of voice, she asked “how is she?”

Scott’s frown deepened.

“She’s awake. She says she’s fine.” It was clear from his tone that he did not agree.

Jean had tried a frontal assault on the monster, attempting to overload it with psychic energy. She had to be carried away from the battle.  Logan and Scott had refused to leave her side while Wade, Jubilee, and Emma went on their scouting run, preferring to stand vigil. It was exhaustingly predictable of both them and her. Wade hadn’t been worried; she’d just come back from the dead a year ago. She had a little more time before they’d do something like permanently stick her in a coma.

Wade made a beeline for Nathan in that way where he was trying to look like he wasn’t. Hovering by the twinkies for a while, pretending to debate between the cherry and strawberry twizzlers, all gradually scooting his way across the store until he was next to Nathan. The man was sitting with his back to the wall, legs crossed, apparently deep in meditation.

Wade knew better, though. He knew that particular wrinkle in Nathan’s forehead, and it meant he had a real monster of a headache. Nathan hadn’t suffered as badly as Jean but he’d been very pale when they fled from the monster. Wade didn’t like that At All.

He rattled a bottle of pills by Nathan’s ear, making his eyes snap open.

“I got you some aspirin from a CVS we passed on our way out. I don’t know if they’re any good against attacks from giant squid brain things, but it couldn’t hurt.”

Nathan smiled.

“Worth a try,” he said. “My head feels like it’s about to split in two.” He reached up, but his hand lingered, fingertips brushing at the small strip of skin between Wade’s glove and sleeve. A warm, bright smile smoothed away the worry line. “Thank you, Wade.”

“Whatever,” Wade said, not quite managing to hide the squeak.

If he keeps doing this, we might actually die.

Nathan had been acting very strange, the last few weeks. Always finding an excuse to touch Wade or stand near him. Sneaking away from the others when they were at the mansion so they could make out in dark corners and closets like teenagers. Watching him with a strange little smile whenever Wade wasn’t looking, but only smiling more when Wade caught him.  

At first Wade thought it was Nathan trying to make up for the whole “let’s get married to spite everyone who doesn’t take our relationship seriously” debacle, except Nathan knew he was over the whole thing and he was still doing it. (Well, relatively sure he knew. They hadn’t exactly talked about it. Wade preferred to pretend it hadn’t happened. It kept him from worrying that that might have been his only chance.)

Don’t get it wrong, the extra flirting and making out was great, and Wade really liked it. It was just that Wade liked it so much it made his brain forget how to do brain things right.

Nathan made to dry-swallow the aspirin, but Wade grabbed his wrist.

“Nuh-uh! Do you have any idea how bad that is for you? Take it with something.”

“Wade,” Nathan started, with a fond-yet-exasperated smile.

“Don’t you ‘Wade’ me, buster.” He began to rummage around in the busted refrigerators until he found a few bottles of room-temperature Gatorade ™. “Here. Replenish your electrolytes while not burning a hole in your esophagus.”  

“Be careful,” Nathan warned. “People might start to think you care.”

“I’m trying to protect your reputation as someone who isn’t a total dingus,” Wade said, watching carefully to make sure Nathan actually drank. “You should be thanking me.”

Nathan gulped the last of the drink and stood. He was just a little bit too far into Wade’s personal space again, giving him that same heated look.

“Thank you,” he said, trailing his fingertips up Wade’s arm. “I appreciate it.”

Then something happened to Nathan’s expression. His eyebrows came down and his eyes flicked over Wade’s face, like he was trying to read him through the mask. Which was weird, because Nathan never had any trouble reading Wade. Like, ever.

“Wade, I…there’s something…Look, I’ve been thinking, and—“

“Hey,” Jubilee called. “You guys coming or what?”

The weird expression rapidly morphed into a much more familiar ‘annoyance at the world at large’. Nathan sighed heavily.

“Nevermind. We’re coming,” he called back. Wade stared after him, mystified, then shook himself and followed.

“Emma, what can you tell us?” Nathan asked, now in full Messiah Mode.

“Not much, except that it isn’t just absorbing psychic energy, it’s feeding on it. I’m pretty sure its default is to sustain itself on the emotions of people around it.”

“Only pretty sure?” Nathan asked.

“I can’t touch its mind for too long or it starts sucking at me—don’t.” This to Wade, who had opened his mouth.

“So if we cut off its supply of emotions, it’ll shut down,” Jubilee said. Emma made a noise that, coming from a poorer and uglier woman, would have been a snort.

“And how exactly do you intend to shut down its supply?” she asked, nastily. “It’s in the middle of a city. Unless you can find a way to teleport it somewhere a good fifty miles in any direction from any sentient creature--“

“Tennessee?” Wade suggested.

“I can say this,” Emma said, ignoring him. “Every time I touch its mind and it starts sucking—don’t – I always feel one overwhelming emotion. Just one at a time, and always very basic. I don’t think it can handle anything complex.”

“So if we gave it a high concentration of a wide range of emotions all at once, it would overwhelm it?” Nathan asked. Emma shrugged.

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Scott said. His voice was tight with worry and anger. “Maybe isn’t good enough!”

“Well maybe is all you’re going to get!” Emma snapped back. “I’m doing the best I can, Scott. I’m not a miracle worker! I’m trying to be careful.”

“Jean already tried overwhelming it, and it didn’t work. We need a different plan.”

“Jean tried a straight attack of pure psychic energy, and she didn’t do anything to shield herself. This is different.”

Scott bristled instantly.

“That was not her fault.”

“Scott, it’s fine—“  

“Of course it is! She decided to run in half-cocked—don’t!”

“I have an idea,” Nathan said calmly, taking advantage of the break in her tirade. “But we need to get close.”

“I don’t think I’d be much good,” Jean admitted. “Emma’s right. I’m burnt out.”  

“I’m staying with her,” Scott said, firmly.

“No, you aren’t,” Nathan said, firmlyer. “If this is going to work, you both definitely need to be there.”

They were less than a block away from the monster. They could hear the slick, sticky sound of its tentacles dragging along the ground. Whenever it let out that awful, piercing roar, they all flinched, feeling it rip straight through them.

“Okay, so we’re here,” Jubilee whispered, back pressed against the wall. “Now what’s this great big plan of yours?”

Instead of answering, Nathan grabbed Wade’s hand and pulled him slightly away from the others. Wade followed, finally starting to worry. Nathan was secretive about his schemes on a good day, but there was something about his demeanor that was setting off alarm bells in Wade’s head.

If this is another Providence type plan, I say we preemptively murder him.

Co-signed.

“Motion carried,” Wade murmured. Nathan didn’t seem to hear him. Once they were in a space relatively clear of rubble, he turned and took both of Wade’s hands in his own.  

“I know you wanted a big production. I was trying to think of a speech on the way over here but I couldn’t come up with anything good.” Nathan’s mouth twitched into something a little too sickly to be a smile. His throat worked hard and that weird expression came back, tight and twitchy and--

He’s nervous, Wade realized. When had he ever seen Nathan nervous? Scared, once or twice, uncertain several times, even uneasy, but nervous?

Nathan went down on one knee, and Wade’s heart stopped beating.

omigod

“I love you. Will you marry me?”

Wade’s palms went sticky. Was this actually happening? Was this a hallucination? It didn’t seem like a hallucination, since Nathan was still fully clothed, but this sure as hell couldn’t be actually happening.

“I, I’m, I don’t—wait, are you only asking me because you think it’ll kill the monster, because Nathan I swear to god—“

“No, Wade. I’m asking you for real, because I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Only with you.”  

The word came out of Wade’s mouth so fast he almost choked on it.

“Yes.”

The monster let out a horrific, ear-splitting shriek of agony, so loud that everyone winced and clapped their hands to their ears. Everyone but Wade and Nathan, who were staring at each other and smiling. Nathan stood, slowly, Wade’s hands still clasped in his, as the monster exploded with a horrible shlorp noise.

Purple goo splattered down around them like sticky rain. Huge globs of monster brains crushed cars and left small craters in the streets. Nathan was wearing the biggest, happiest smile Wade had ever seen on his face.  Judging from the way his cheeks were starting to hurt, Wade was too.

“I know you mentioned fireworks,” he said. “I hope that’s close enough.”

“Shut up,” Wade said, trying very hard to pretend like he wasn’t about to cry, fumbling to pull his mask up over his nose. “Shut up and kiss me right now.”

Nathan leaned in and Wade went up on his tiptoes and there were car alarms shrieking in the background and everything smelled vaguely like fish and it was the single greatest moment of Wade’s life. Their lips were a millimeter away when--

“Are you out of your mind?”

Nathan sighed.

“Scott—” he started. Wade grabbed his head and yanked him right back down, kissing him hard. Nathan leaned into it, and the two wrapped their arms around each other. Vaguely Wade heard Emma saying "he's kidding, right? It's a joke."

"I think it's sweet," Jean said, defensively. Wade was momentarily surprised, then mentally wadded up everything that wasn't Nathan and tossed it into a trash can. Nathan was smiling against his lips, and Wade could feel that his heart was beating a little faster than normal. Who cared what the X-Dorks thought? Nathan was his. For real this time.

An astounding improvement from last time. A+

If I had hands I'd be applauding.

After a few more eternities, Nathan asked “Better?” Wade wasn’t sure if he meant the proposal or the kissing. Either way…

“I think you nailed it,” he said with a grin.

“Nathan!” Scott shouted, but they were already kissing again.

#deadpool #cablepool #cable & deadpool #nathan summers #wade wilson #forgot to post this earlier

[fictionerd]

Holy crap why’d this never post!? Fictionerd June 19, 2018 Some people just refuse to freaking learn.

Good to see you, friends!

Welcome to the Chronicles of Angsty Bro and his miraculous supernatural power... To completely miss the god-damn point and act like a selfish brat.

Okay Let’s get through this quickly. [Inhales]

We open on a flashback dream that Angsty Bro is having about his angst... I mean sister where she shows him a room that normally only the grand high macguffin of their family is allowed to see. We get a break down of all the clues that the Butlers Brigade have dug up and they come to the conclusion that the 0 from the numbers is actually a circle and not a zero meaning that the 222 is actually the address of the mansion while the circle represents somewhere in the mansion that has acircle in it. This is incredibly unhelpfu lconsidering a lot of the damn rooms have circles in them including the one they’re in as they discuss this, but somehow Angsty Bro knows that the message is referring to the macguffin room. So they all go to the macguffin room and Angsty Bro finds a letter from his sister that basically spells out to him. “YOU DINGUS! I WASN’T KILLED BY SOME WEIRD MAGICKY BULLSHIT. I CHOSE TO SACRIFICE MYSELF TO SAVE YOUR SORRY ASS AND HAYAKAWA FROM THE SHADOWY CABAL WHO WERE AFTER THE PENDANT!” Which of course Angsty Bro takes to mean: ”Disregard everything I and Barista Beau have told you in favor of acting like a needy piss bucket.”

[Pauses for Breath and slows down a bit.]

Meanwhile Holmes has been investigating the “Plasma in the Sky” incidents. You heard me correctly! Incidents Plural. He tells Barista Beau, and Barista Boss that there was another one five years ago and through the memory of Barista Boss they deduce that the Headmaster must have arrived in this time from the one from five years ago, and that he knew that Angsty Bro would show up at the second one because he was obviously from... THE PAST AS WELL!

[facepalms]

I’m not going to be surprised if that turns out to be the case, but I have just one question: HOW!? Knowledge of events that are going to happen is usually the purview of the FUTURE not the past. I’m almost going to be disappointed if they don’t go full moon-logic and have the Headmaster (And possibly Hooded Gardener too) be from the past. Because if they are from the future it means that the one somewhat sensible character is also an idiot. I don’t want that.

So... Rather than ask Barista Beau (Who they know by now has nutso spooky powers) to help them with the investigation which would be the sensible thing to do, Holmes and Watson run off to question the people close to the Headmaster on their own. Oh god... It’s already starting. They’ve already been caught in the undertow of DUMB! No wonder Barista Beau didn’t want to associate with them. He knew the infection was spreading!

So Holmes and Watson corner Hooded Gardener at the mansion... Which makes me wonder: Considering that Angsty Bro left the mansion to go see Barista Beau wouldn’t the three of them have met on the way to the respective places? That must have been awkward.

“Oh hey, Angsty Pres.” “Sup, Newsy Detective?”

“Just going to move my end of the plot along, and you?”

“Going to go punch the only friend I have from my own time.”

“Cool, you keep basing your skull against that concrete. I’m sure the brain damage will eventually loop back around to being beneficial.”

But yeah, Holmes and Watson press the Gardener with questions. Holmes is eager to get answers and grabs Hooded Gardener’s shoulder AND! 

I FUCKING CALLED IT! You want to know just how much I fucking called it? Have a load of this...

Holy crap why’d this never post!? Fictionerd June 19, 2018 That’s right, Watson’s a Butler too! 

“...we learn that everyone within a hundred meter radius of Angsty Bro is a Butler in Potentia. Grape, Shounen Scarf, Rich Kid, Hooded Gardener, Dracula, and yes I’m even willing to bet that Holmes and potentially Watson are as well.“

Fucking. Called. It.

You couldn’t prove me wrong, could you show? You couldn’t leave at least Watson out of the Butler funtimes. You just had to go full-ham. 

So after this interlude Hooded Gardener tries to use Vine whip on Holmes and Watson. (It’s not very effective).  

Then cutting back to Angsty Bro he corners Barista Beau and the conversation goes something like this. AB: You knew.

BB: Ah you finally get off your ass and find the letter?

AB: Yeah, now give me the pendant and the key.

BB: Good maybe we can finally work to- Oh hell you’re still Angsting? Seriously!

AB: My sister is all I have! I need to go back to the past and undo the thing she, herself wanted so I can have her again. I’m sad and this is terrible. I’ve got no friends and she’s the only person who understood me.

BB: Well shows what I know. Expecting you to actually care about the considerable gaggle of friends you’ve surrounded yourself with. Nope you want to be all up in Tenna so badly you’re willing to fuck yourself and everyone else over for it. Alright Angsty Bitch, let’s fucking go.

And that’s where we end the episode.

I have PROBLEMS with this series. Beginning with Angsty Bro’s unwavering dedication to the brood, and ending with his colossal lack of anything resembling appreciation for the people who have all but bent over backwards to help him out, but there’s one thing in particular I want to discuss right here and now that crawled up my ass and died.

WHY THE HELL DIDN’T HOLMES AND WATSON’S BIRTHMARKS APPEAR WHILE THEY WERE TALKING TO THE BARISTA BROS?

Seriously, it’s not like physical touch is REQUIRED for them to be revealed. We saw that with Dracula in the Butlers Bargain Sale, and again with Watson this very episode. SO WHY DIDN’T THE BIRTHMARKS START HUMMING THE SECOND THEY CORNERED BARISTA BEAU ABOUT HIS PAST!?

The conditions under which these things are revealed seem to be arbitrary as all hell and boil down to “This is when it’s most dramatic for the plot!

It’s not cool or creative or dramatic when you don’t outline how these things work. It’s confusing, annoying, and inconvenient. Well it’s inconvenient for the viewer. For the writer it’s VERY convenient.

I’m invested in this story if only to see if Angsty Bro ever denounces his Angst, but really I’m driven more by my enjoyment of mocking the show with my silly nicknames than I am any desire to see how it ends.

Okay. Megalo Box, Wotakoi, Grancrest Senki, and Gurazeni are on the checklist moving forward. As I write this it’s 2am. Expect the rest of these shows to be kicked through the cue over the next hour or so.

Until next post keep talking fiction, friends! I’ll see you soon.

#Anime #Butlers Chitose Momotose Monogatari #Butlers x Battlers #Episode 9 #Fictionerd #Let's Talk Anime #LTA