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#next round i'm being completely immoral
hanasnx · 4 months
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Now that you've opened your inbox to DC! Men I'm just going insane! I have so many thoughts on this and now I'm going to flood your inbox with it, if that's okay.
I don't know about you, but I see AK!Jason falling (or just getting obsessed) over a real sweety reader. He would be in an immoral mix of how to take her to his cage with all his charm and suddenly he's just ponding your guts like u know ak would do, all cocky and massive and stuck up.
MINORS DNI 18+
hi :) i got this yesterday and i would like to tell u i love getting inbox messages so i implore you, flood my inbox.
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JASON TODD never thought too hard about who he’d end up with. Concealed in the background of his mind for so long while he’d planned every other detail of his life out to fulfill one single vindictive plan. Now that he’s more or less free, he looks at you completely bewildered as to how he managed to cuff you. You’re nothing like him, save for a few domineering qualities you adopt when you’re disrespected, but other than that you’re… soft. Pliant. Sweet. When you hold his hand, you just clutch onto two of his fingers. You’re half his size. You’re adorable. A part of him wishes he could spend all day pinching at your cheeks and bullying you into whining indignantly at him.
He bullies you other ways instead. Charms you like a snake with all his sweet-talking, mouthing at your neck and smacking your little ass until you’re ready to do what he wants. Now he’s got you backing up on his cock with your hair roped around his palm. “Huh? What’s that? You like your guts fucked?” he jeers, a wolfish grin tugging at his lips as he’s yanking you back into his thrusts.
“Jason!” you whine at him indignantly, just how he likes it as he snickers at you. Squeezing your eyes shut, you brace the pain that comes with his length lodging all up in your insides, kissing your cervix. Not many like that sort of thing, but he loves that you do.
“You like this shit? You like it when it hurts? So fucking freaky, baby. Never would’ve guessed by lookin’ at’cha.” he degrades and you cry out as he rolls his hips the way that makes you howl. Bent over in front of him, his large hand comes down to swat your round ass that ripples with impact. A sweet little thing like you, drooling all over him because he’s being mean to you. “What’s next, huh? You want bruises?” He feels you clench down on him and he can’t help but laugh at you.
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chronotsr · 11 days
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No. 1 - G1, The Steading of the Hill Giant Chief (July 1978)
Author(s): Gary Gygax Artist(s): Erol Otus, Dave C. Sutherland III (cover), David A. Trampier Level range: Average of 9, preferably 5+ players Theme: Standard Swords and Sorcery Major re-releases: G1-3 Against the Giants, GDQ1-7 Queen of the Spiders, Against the Giants: The Liberation of Geoff, Dungeon #197, Tales from the Yawning Portal
I'm not sure if G1-G3 are the most remastered adventures of all time, but it's gotta be competitive. I think Tomb of Horrors might have it beat, but I haven't counted. The 4e conversion [the Dungeon #197 one] is really weird in particular because…4e feels like the edition least interested in the legacy of DND? It was boldly doing its own thing. A good quality, actually.
Anyway, it's time to slag off* on a beloved adventure. Note, I am using the earliest copy of G1 I can find, which is from waaaay later when D3 was complete. I apologize.
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*And by slag off, I mean "be critical of at all". In practice, this module is actually showing some unusual acumen compared to its contemporaries.
EDIT: I forgot to mention a rather important thing when this was made live -- note the title there! We are officially in ADND land now, so put away your little brown booklets and switch over to the fuck-off awesome player's handbook with the iconic Moloch statue!
Somehow I had gotten my whole life at this point never really…understanding what this structure was supposed to look like? It looks like this.
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I honestly think exterior shots of dungeons are critically underrated. Handouts are amazing and being able to flash the back cover art to safely show the party "like this" is actually great, I deeply wish that….any? of the previous modules had done that? I think the only one that did was Tsojconth. Weirdly, the interior drawing is very subtly different. Look at how the logs face:
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Not a huge deal but, a kind of weird inconsistency that top one looks like a stockade and the bottom one looks like a log cabin. Side note, we know that the long dimension of this is using 210 feet tall logs, which is to say, the size of an average redwood. These are some big fuck-off trees -- which could be a very interesting detail about the local area.
Now the setup is pretty simple. You were hired to go beat up the giants because they've been raiding the local humans, figure out why they're raiding, and comeback posthaste. The locals have kitted you out with horses, guides, maps, et c -- but no compensation, they have simply omitted a finder's fee (cheap bastards). Also, if you fail, they'll execute you. With friends like these, who needs Giants?
Gary starts with some mild railroading (you accepted the job already, you are already kitted out, you already walked to a nearby cave, you waited til dusk to approach, you notice two guards are missing, and the cave is guaranteed to be moderately hidden. Sure, whatever, I'm going to ignore that if I run this tho. Gary notifies us of a few critical details:
Don't run this stock, that's immoral
Any surviving giants will flee to G2 if they have the opportunity (which, kind of inherently punishes clever play that avoids combat?)
There is a 2% chance per round that the wooden structure will be lit on fire due to chronic rain (why is this a dice roll??)
If you will permit me a tangent, player arson is truly the bane of interesting scenarios everywhere. Whenever a player wonders, "why are all the GM's dungeons underground or in stonework buildings?", it's because doing anything else invites arson as the default and best answer to all problems. Magic items are fireproof and most metal items will not get hot enough to be destroyed, so very often the best solution is to burn the place to the ground and loot it the next day. So, yeah. No wood buildings. Gary's fix is to have all the giants flee into the basement, then waste a week of the PC's time for daring to use arson. Kind of sucks!
Tangent complete.
Here's some random interesting bits:
Gary explicitly states that you can pass yourself off as hill giant kids, which is extremely funny. Minus the implicit child murder.
Naturally there are giant moms doing giant housemaid shit in several rooms. Presumably they have giant curlers too.
The secret door is, literally just a doorway covered by a pelt. I have to hand it to them, that'd trip up most players in 2024 AND make them feel stupid for not figuring it out!
The big reveal that Eclavdra the Drow is secretly behind it all is so lightly teased that it feels downright tasteful.
A giant that uses a ballista as a crossbow (based) and spears for arrows (also based) -- between the prevalence of lightning spears and greatarrows, one starts to think of a certain famous video game. Genuinely I think it'd be a fun exercise one day, for someone who is more knowledgeable than me about Japanese fantasy roleplaying culture, to talk about how anglophone fantasy works made their way into Japan and were interpreted.
One of the cloud giants has hidden a sentient giant slaying sword that speaks all the giant languages, it feels like there's a hell of a story going on there that is only alluded to!
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To my knowledge, this is the first official depiction of an orc in DND? Which implies that Gary is team pig-orcs, which is cool. Frankly, I love porcine orcs, or even better just pigfolk in general, they're great.
I think it is actually a rather bold early stance for Gary to hold that, even here in 1978, Chaotic aligned creatures are not automatically friends. Granted, that's how it is in Elric, so it's not THAT bold, but clearly everyone else missed the memo. The orcs are willing to side with you at least in the short-run, and in our previous modules it was very rare to have groups of chaotic-aligned creatures fighting one another. It was always just personal beefs. In fact, the overall theme of G1 so far is that despite the boxy-ass dungeon design, there's already a command of naturalism that even modern dungeons really struggle with. Factionalism truly is the gift that keeps on giving for the GM!
So the big reveal internally to G1 (just think of that -- a reveal internally to G1, and externally to the GDQ supermodule -- we're already getting pacing!) is that the orc slaves have rebelled. And -- hey -- good for them. There's also a kind of…built-in companion refill system going on here? So in oldish DND the way it works is, the expectation is the party is not just 5 guys with swords. You've got companions to help fight, and you've got hirelings to do other stuff (test suspected traps, if you're evil). And you can only hire so many of these guys from town, but attrition is going to happen. So the modules simply provides, automatic replacements should you negotiate worth a quarter of a shit. A dwarf slave here, an orc slave there. Maybe a giant dissenter if you're really clever. One of the potential "rewards" you can get is more dudes to throw at problems.
More interesting bits
There is, what I can only really call an abortive idea going on here where there's a scary temple in the basement? But no one worships there and no information is provided. It is merely a fucked up altar. I think I vaguely recall that it's retconned Tharizdun in one of the remakes? They always retcon things to be Tharizdun. Busy man, Tharzy.
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Gary, Gary no. Stop it. Stop this 78 guys bullshit. I thought we had established that giant rooms of giant clumps of guys was bad. I know you have terminal Napoleonics brain but stop.
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Wait, Steading is a noun? I always thought it was a verb. Yknow, like "Steading those hill giants", taking 'em down a notch. Apparently, a Steading is a small farm -- same etymology as Homestead. I guess mark that as our first Gygaxism?
Our second Gygaxism is gill, which is "a quarter pint of an alcoholic drink", which is to say a few mouthfuls
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Always end your adventures with weird, ominous non-diegetic text. On the flip-side, absolutely do not do what the adventure does, and end on a teleporter that takes you to the next dungeon. That is the worst option.
Anyway, that's the whole Hill Giant situation. Honestly, it's better than I remembered, but in proud module tradition up to this point it gets weirdly filler-y in the basement. There's just something about basements that makes dungeon designers stop giving a shit, I swear. I do need to give the man his due, even though he was a shitass person: Gygax wrote an 11 page module that is of noticeably higher killer-to-filler ratio than any of his contemporaries. G1 is better than any of its predecessors, pound for pound. It is way, way shorter which is I suppose a plus to me and a minus to others, but -- there is a clear internal logic to this place that is tragically missing from (say) The Dwarven Glory. And that internal logic is the beginning of good adventure design. Anyway, we have two fun tidbits to discuss before we end for the day.
First up, we have an of-the-time account of events in Dragon #19! It turns out that in Origins '78 they played G1-G3's prototype. The account is of the winners (mostly West Virginians, a few Michiganders), who used their magic extremely liberally to hide what they were doing as well as to scout. They did opt to light the place on fire, good for them! If you want to check this out, it's on page 3. I will mention G2 and G3 here as relevant later.
Second up, there's a weird interquel hiding in Dungeon #198! Hanging out as an informal G1.5 is "The Warrens of the Stone Giant Thane!" I will not review it in full because my understanding of 4e is, basically just skimming the PHB and reading the DMG, but essentially the Stone Giants are hypothetically aloof and not particularly loyal to their Fire Giant superiors, but someone gave them The Rock That Makes You Crazy and so now they are. Smash the rock!
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Man, map design in the 4e era was so fucking bad. It looks fine, but like, this is four circles. And downstairs is, of course, cave as far as the eye can see. Aren't stone giants supposed to be skilled carvers? Anyway, If you feel like G2 would be too big of a jump mechanically compared to G1, this exists. I'm sure you could use it if you liked, and certainly there is a Genre of Grognard who would be kinda tickled at the thought of finding "lost content" for el classico GDQ.
Next week, we cover G2, which was also in July. So was G3! They're triplets!
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essie-essex · 4 years
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Pathologic 2 is such a great game, just such A GREAT GAME. IT’S JUST SO FUCKING WONDERFUL IT’S NOT LIKE I’M 17 HOURS INTO IT AND ONLY ON DAY FUCKING 6
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