#nihilism is useless and counterproductive

[andromeda3116]

had a lengthy conversation with a coworker yesterday, and she's sort of the... not-insane kind of conservative. the sort that's lived like this her whole life and seen only the bad sides, heard and taken to heart only the bad-faith interpretations of everything. and in that environment, yes, i can see the appeal of libertarianism, of withdrawing, of "burn it all down" and she is intelligent and thoughtful enough that i feel it's worth having these conversations with her, that i might actually be able to have an impact.

and i think i made headway! i told her about people tens of thousands of years ago making toys for their kids that look like the ones we make today, about how cave paintings come alive in firelight, about a healed femur from thousands and thousands of years ago proving that humans have always cared and helped one another, and yes, of course some people are awful, but they do not define us. and i think i made her think about it when she said that she believes we should allocate money to communities to better help one another and i was like "how is that not a government?" and she paused and then said "it's just that it's gotten too big, it's the bureaucracy that's killing us" and like. i can see that. i think there are ways to solve that problem, but it's not a fundamentally flawed belief. (again, sane. intelligent, educated, willing to consider alternate points of view.)

and i think that a lot of this... madness of the modern world is rooted in fear and despair and isolation and the sense that we've become completely disconnected from ourselves and our history, and we need to remember that this is not true. or -- it's only true if we choose to make it true, if we let it be true.

this does not have to be our legacy. this rage, this despair, this does not have to destroy us.

#humanism #again yes of course there are awful people out there #and people who have been too brainwashed by the cult to consider that it could be wrong #but - loud as they are - they are fewer than they seem #the world is not completely fucked and we are not a hopeless cause #and the people who say it is are either peddling their own snake oil cure #or wanting to drag you down into their despair with them #nihilism is useless and counterproductive #i don't believe there's anything out there but chaos and we are but a tiny creature on a small planet orbiting an average star #one of trillions; and of course it's easy to think ''we are too small for anything we do to matter'' but. no? #nothing is too small to matter #i mean. what do you even mean by ''what matters''? there is no ultimate goal or purpose of humanity #it's like the concept of ''more evolved'' species as though evolution is a ladder but it's not. there is no higher being to become. #there is no one holding the keys to the great answers of the universe; or if there is or ever will be it's just us #these tags have meandered beyond the point but ultimately i'm just trying to say that it's never ever over until you give up #(and even then you can usually find a way to un-give up)

[mbti-notes]

IxTP. I have two ENxJ family members in my life. One is very caring, and the other is very hardworking. I owe them a lot. I have the knowledge that I appreciate them, but I can’t truly feel my appreciation, so I can’t bring myself to show it to them. Every once in a while, a conflict explodes, and I realise I’m in the wrong for being too cut-off and selfish. So I don’t argue back and nod at their points in acknowledgement. Those are the only times I feel it deep down, but it wears off in a day. Shortly after one of those arguments I decided to make a table of chores and gave it to the ENTJ to split up responsibilities. I’ve been following that table since then, but it seems like what they want from me is to show, emotionally, that I care about them. It doesn’t feel like I have it in me. I don’t know. It’s really hard. How to solve this problem?

This topic has come up before. I examine issues through the lens of cognitive functions, so the first step should be to do a proper type assessment. Otherwise, you may choose the wrong path or solution.

You can’t force yourself to feel, and it becomes counterproductive if the process just makes you more resistant to feeling. I suggest that you reflect upon the kind of person you aspire to be and the kind of life that you hope to live. For example:

Moral Character: Do you want to be a clueless person, always taking things for granted, too slow to appreciate anything or anyone until they are gone? Do you want to be a soulless person, never knowing true kindness or happiness because you are blind to everything except your own immediate comfort/pleasure? Do you want to be a useless person, only ever taking and consuming, never adding or contributing anything? If not, then what kind of person do you want to be? 

Quality of Life: Do you want to live the life of an animal, only ever concerned about physical survival? Do you want to live a life that is dull, empty, and monotonous because you can’t be bothered to make an effort? Do you want to live a life that ends up in alienation, despair, or nihilism because you never cared deeply about anything? If not, then what kind of life do you hope to live? 

I don’t see it as my job to convince people to change. You are what you are. If you want to change, then YOU make the decision to change. But you talk as though you have no power over yourself. Remember that you are ultimately the one responsible for the quality of your character and the quality of the life that you lead. If you continue making the decisions that you’re making now, always taking the path of least resistance, what will you become and where will you end up? Have you ever given it serious thought?

Are you a toddler? You always need to be told what to do before doing anything? You only try to be a good person when you’re pressured into submission through guilt or shame? Mature and responsible people strive to be good because they believe that they owe it to themselves to be the best version of who they are. They know that life is precious and they are grateful for the time they’ve been granted, so they try to make the best of it, to be better whenever it’s possible to be better. Do you care enough about YOU to try and live a good, fulfilling, and loving life? If not, then what is the point of your existence? If you can’t even care about yourself, then it’s no wonder you can’t care for others.

Why are you so averse to difficulty? Do you understand that something being difficult is a big part of what gives meaning to success? You will never know your true capability if you never challenge yourself to be more than what you are. If you really don’t like the idea of challenging yourself, then you’re either not Ti dom or you have a long way to go to become a healthy one.

#character #moral character #morality #quality of life #meaning of life #relationships #reciprocity #love #egocentrism #ask

[kinetic-elaboration]

December 2: Heathers

A few quick thoughts on Heathers, which I watched last night.

It was surprisingly sweet for something with such a caustic reputation. I mean, yes, it could be crude and violent and weird, and it cared for civilities as much as any campy surrealist romp usually does, but it had a big heart, too, and it was ultimately quite positive in its message.

I loved the style of it, the color coding, the outfits, the language. I love how it was so over the top that I didn’t recognize the Heather-Duke-murder sequence as a dream until her ‘funeral’ (and even then I wasn’t 100% convinced she wasn’t dead until I saw her alive at the end lol). I fucking love Winona Ryder.

I don’t usually read anything metaphorically when I could read it literally but I saw JD as more of a physical manifestation of Veronica’s worst instincts and desires, rather than a real human (perhaps this is the Mr. Robot influence in reverse though).

I was surprised but pleased that it treated the issue of suicide seriously, (or as seriously as such a movie could) in showing that it is contagious, that by creating high profile suicides, Veronica and JD were introducing to their classmates the idea of suicide as both a plausible and even romantic solution to one’s problems, and that their classmates then became more likely to attempt real suicide themselves.

My interpretation of the movie as a whole: It's a coming of age story focused specifically on the nihilism phase of growing up, the first realization that the world is unfair and people are mean and there's a limited amount you can do about it. JD first wants to punish people who behave badly, then ultimately expands this idea to punishing everyone, indiscriminately, acting out in a blind, violent, and destructive rage, for only mushily defined reasons: everyone is just generally terrible, life just generally sucks, there is no point to anything, so everything must burn--this is a vision that is attractive to Veronica, who is unhappy with her own choices, mad at the power structures around her, fed up with the abuses of power she sees in her friends, but it’s also one she ultimately rejects. JD tells her in the end that she is powerful. She uses this power to assume ‘sheriff’ status and to reach out to someone unpopular and lonely. The option of punishing/destroying bad people is considered, tried out, seen to be useless and counterproductive, and ultimately discarded, and instead, a different response to the unfairness and even the stupidity of the world is presented: to be a bit of good yourself.

I think this reading coalesces in the scene where Veronica is telling her parents how upset she is with the shallow and manipulative reaction of the school/teachers/media to the suicide epidemic, and her mother responds by telling her that she is encountering, not some weird aberration, or adults treating children poorly, but adulthood itself: people treating each other poorly. “When teenagers say the want to be treated like adults, it’s usually because they are being treated like adults.”

This would be incredibly depressing except that the film also shows how small bits of kindness can be just as meaningful, if not more so, than casual cruelty.

Anyway I really did love it and Winona Ryder is perfect.

#the year 2018 #2018: movies #2018: fandom thoughts