#noah's trying to comfort him (awkwardly) but it's making it worse because noah caring about him even at his worst is The Issue | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pynches · 4 years

Text

the five stages of grief

a/n this is a very personal story to me. ive dealt with a lot of grief, way more than i should have, in a short period of time so i figured it would help to write about it. this is a friendship-centric fic so no relationships happening. i hope you still like it.

tw: mention of child abuse but it’s only a sentence mention, loss of a parent

word count: 1927

ao3 link

The biggest misconception about grief is that you feel it right away. That the moment you hear someone you once loved died, you break down, sobbing on the floor from the pain you cannot hold in. We’ve seen the movies, read the books, watched the tv shows and how grief was portrayed in them.

It’s a lie.

This is how it goes.

The police calls Adam at 5:37 pm, something about an accident his mom got into and his father who cannot be reached. Adam stopped listening after the first words, “I’m sorry to tell you but”. The resignation in the police officer’s voice was enough.

Dead on impact.

No revival possible.

And that was it.

There were no tears when he told the police that he would be there soon. No tears when he had to identify his mother’s body not even an hour later so he could sign the papers.

“It’s hers,” he told them.

And that was it.

Adam still went to school despite the school counsellor telling him that it wasn’t required. He lost a parent after all. He was tired of the concern thrown around though. The pity in the counsellors eyes, the pity in Gansey’s. Ronan was the only one who treated him semi-normally and even he was more careful with Adam than usual. Adam couldn’t blame him, though, he lost a parent too after all. But Adam did blame him, for not treating him like nothing happened even though something did, for making him feel like there was something different even though there was.

Truth was, Adam didn’t feel like something happened, didn’t feel like his mother was well and truly gone. He pictured himself opening the door of the trailer and seeing her bent over the stove like she often was, or cleaning up after his father which happened even more often. He felt like he could pick up the phone to call her and hear her familiar voice on the other end.

There is bliss in denial, it makes everything hurt less.

The funeral was his job to organise. His friends had tried to help with sad half-smiles and pats on his arm. Adam didn’t feel anything. No sadness, no anger, but no happiness either. The emptiness inside him was all-consuming and nothing was left behind.

He picked the music and used his mom’s hidden savings to pay for the costs so that his father couldn’t drink it away. His throat tightened when they lowered her casket into the ground and filled the hole with dirt, his eyes full of unshed tears.

Adam swallowed.

And that was it.

Denial was out of the question now. Every time he closed his eyes he saw his mother’s body, one that held so much life before, too much for the small trailer in which it had been contained.

Now it was anger’s turn to rear its ugly head.

This particular emotion was one Adam had tried to avoid his entire life. It just reminded him of bruises and wounds that never truly healed. His father instilled fear upon him when he got lost in his own anger and Adam tried to ensure he would not do the same to anyone else.

Until he did.

Until he saw a woman cross the road from his booth inside Nino’s, her hair the same dirty blonde his mother had passed down to him.

Until he rushed outside because it was his mom and she was there and despite every phone call she didn’t make to the police and despite every time she turned her head when he was lying in a pool of his own blood. Adam wanted to rush into her arms and feel them wrap around him like she had done when he was younger and the world was less cruel.

Until the woman picked up her phone, her voice high and sweet unlike his mom’s, rough from years of chain smoking and yelling at him.

Until Adam stopped in his tracks, watching as the woman walked away, unknowing that she snapped something inside him that had been coiled up since the first ring of his phone.

Until he punched a wall.

Until Blue came rushing out of Nino’s. She kept a safe distance from Adam’s balled fists, probably on Gansey’s orders.

Adam walked away with his knuckles scratched and bruised, disappearing into the evening.

The only thing he left behind was his blood smearing the now stained wall, an almost literal red flag that warned people to stay away from him.

He didn’t stay to wipe the hopelessness from his friends’ faces. He walked away before he did worse.

And that was it.

Adam never visited the church he lived above. He wasn’t religious but sometimes, when people feel the defeat clawing at their throats, they search for miracles everywhere. They look for signs that would indicate their loved ones were still alive, even if it was just the wind that had slammed the door closed. They search for meaning in death, finding solace in the thought that it wasn’t for nothing, even though it was and always will be. They pray to gods they didn’t believe in so that they could fool themselves into thinking someone was listening.

Adam had his hands clasped in front of him awkwardly, not used to the position. He wasn’t sure how to begin a prayer and he wished he had googled it but that somehow seemed insincere. So, he closed his eyes, clenched his hands tighter, and begged.

“I will live at home again if it means you will bring her back.”

He sat on the same pew, every night before he went to bed, when the church was dark and empty, praying to God, to someone that her death could be reversed.

It never happened.

And that was it.

We’ve seen the movies, read the books, watched the tv shows and the way guilt was portrayed in them. Guilt as an instant reaction, guilt as a way of making up for years of neglect, guilt as an excuse for the police. Guilt as something you can live with.

It’s not true.

This is how it feels.

It sneaks up on you quietly. One minute you’re making canned soup on your shitty stove and the next you’re on the floor. Not quite crying. You can’t yet. But you feel the burn in your throat that has now become a constant, the shaking of your hands, the rapid pounding of your heart.

“If you had still lived in that trailer,” the voice in your head tells you. “You could have prevented this.”

That’s how it starts and it never really ends.

Adam puts his books in his locker and exchanges them for the ones he needs for the next two periods.

“It’s your fault she’s dead.”

He drops the book on the floor, not looking at Ronan when he hands them back without a word.

He fist-bumps Gansey when he takes his usual seat next to him but he can’t focus on Gansey’s nervous rambling. It feels like the entire classroom is staring at him, mumbling the thing he had told himself over and over last night before sleep took him.

“It should have been you.”

And that was it.

The emptiness feels deeper this time.

There was no way of explaining this feeling, the world didn’t have the words to describe it and they really shouldn’t.

The days feel longer, seemingly going on forever. Adam feels like he is in a haze, sadness clouding his rational mind.

Adam is independent. Always has been. He learned not to seek comfort from other people because it would just result in disappointment. Instead, he taught himself to hold it in, every emotion that he didn’t want, he would just let go.

It doesn’t work like that.

When he was a kid and his father started to drink more, he would seek the comfort of his mom and she would give it to him. She would hold him close and brush through his hair with her hand. Back then, she always faintly smelled of fresh grass. He cannot even remember what she smells like now and he hates himself for it. But he does remember her gentle touch, her lightly freckled arms closing around him, his face in her neck.

Adam is independent. Learned to be that way. But right now, he needed his mom.

One person cannot bear the constant weight of grief on their shoulders. One day they will succumb under the weight and it will either crush them or they will have people who stop it from happening.

Once the intense sadness hits, people don’t go to a bar and drink until they forget their own name. It’s not like the movies, books, or tv shows.

It’s wrong.

It happens like this.

Gansey persuaded him into coming to Monmouth and help the group with their research. And it’s fine, it’s good. Until it’s not.

Because the word “dead” seems highlighted on every page even though Adam knows it’s not. Because death is his only focus, not Gansey’s voice or Ronan’s grumbles or Noah’s quiet snickers or Blue sighing. Because suddenly his knees buckle and he’s dry heaving on the floor, the pressure in his chest growing, his heart pounding in his ears. He can’t hear Ronan calling his name, he can’t feel Gansey holding him up. The tears are flowing down his cheeks and it will not stop no matter how hard Adam is pressing on his eyes. He can’t breathe and everything feels off and he wants to claw his skin of just so it doesn’t fucking hurt anymore. He can feel himself hiccup, can hear himself gasp but he cannot do anything but curl in on himself and try to stop the sobs from overtaking his body.

And then Ronan cradles his head against his neck like his mom used to.

And Gansey slings an arm over his shoulders, holding him tightly.

And Blue rakes her fingers through his hair in soft motions.

And Noah wipes his tears away.

And he cries.

He lets himself fall apart in the arms of his friends. For the first time since it happened, he feels like it’s okay that he’s not okay. That he can let himself go and feel this in the safety of his friends’ embrace. They take in his heaving sobs and return whispers of encouragement. They make him eat something because he had forgotten and make him drink water when his head is pounding. They stay with him when he eventually falls asleep, in the middle of a pile of his friends, not knowing where his body began and theirs ended.

And that was not it.

Because grief doesn’t go away, ever. Not even with the help of kind friends. There will always be a hole inside of you that the person left behind. Sometimes the anger will return, at them for leaving you, at yourself for letting them go, at the world for being so unfair. And sometimes the guilt will return because there will be moments when you won’t be thinking about them and smiling and laughing instead only to come home and fall apart because you feel guilty for feeling good. And sometimes, during the rare moments that become less rare over time, you will just smile at the memories and accept that even though you will never get over the fact that they are truly gone, this is your life now, and you shouldn’t stop living it.

#trc #trc fic #trc fanfic #trc fanfiction #the raven cycle #the raven cycle fic #the raven cycle fanfic #the raven cycle fanfiction #adam parrish #adam parrish centric #ronan lynch #gansey #blue sargent #noah czerny #found family #friendship centric #mine

63 notes · View notes

randomfandomimagine · 5 years

Text

Worried Sick (Shayne Topp x Reader)

Characters: Shayne Topp, Damien Haas, Noah Grossman, Courtney Miller, Olivia Sui, Keith Leak Jr.

Fandom: Smosh (Youtubers)

Tags: Reader Insert, Female Reader, Sickfic

Warnings: None

Requested by anon: Can I get a Shayne from Smosh scenario where reader gets sick, but acts like she's ok and passes our during a challenge or something and Shayne freaks out and helps her? (Maybe Damien there too and is also worried as a friend?)

You all sat down in the couches to record a video for Smosh. You were a little nervous, because you were going to do a Spin the Bottle thing and, for what you had seen in their videos, it could get a little crazy and weird. And you were just a guest, even if you were good friends with them all. Still, you hoped whatever it was, you had to do it with Shayne or Damien, who you were closest to.

“You okay, Y/N?” The latter bumped his shoulder into yours, trying to cheer you up with a little smile. “Nervous?”

“A little bit” You shrugged to brush it off.

“You should be” Shayne jokingly got closer to you, speaking with a ‘scary’ voice. “Get ready”

“Gosh darnit, Shayne! Don’t scare Y/N!” Damien replied. “Like, it’s not that dangerous”

“Shut up” You rolled your eyes at them as they giggled together, and just then arrived the rest. Courtney and Keith were there, as were Olivia and Noah.

“Guys, we’re calling action!” They warned you behind the cameras.

“Okay” You took a deep breath, trying to settle the nerves.

You also wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. You loved hanging out with them and always had a blast, but truth was, you weren’t feeling your best. You were a little light-headed, you couldn’t tell if it was because you were giddy and jittery or because you were tired. You had starting feeling sick a few days ago and didn’t get to sleep or eat much. But that morning you felt better and blamed your unwell on the nerves.

“And action!” They announced, so you focused on smiling and waving at the camera while they did the intro.

The more you thought about being on camera and the many possible embarrassing and strange things you were about to do, the lousier you felt. Especially since you weren’t as close with the rest, only with Damien and Shayne.

“Shayne starts!” Courtney handed the giant bottle to him.

Your friend put it on the ground and gave it a good spin. You didn’t know if you wanted it to land on you or not, it was starting to get a little hard to focus. All you could think about was how you felt nauseous and warm, and the cameras and lights weren’t helping much.

“Y/N!” They all celebrated when the bottle landed on you.

Shayne picked up the bucket and rummaged through it until he pulled out a paper. The dare must have amused him, because he started laughing loudly like he did.

“Slow dancing like robots!!” He finally read, causing a few chuckles and giggles.

You were feeling a little under the weather, but you thought you could power through it. The video couldn’t take that long to film, you could hold on. You promised yourself to take some medicine and sleep for a week when you got home.

Charmingly, Shayne offered you his hand and you took it and let him pull you up. After you stood on your feet, you immediately felt ten times worse as a wave of exhaustion washed over you. You thought that it was just a head rush, but your stomach felt queasy too and your legs were shaky.

You panted in exhaustion, leaning over Shayne and resting your forehead against his shoulder. They awed and muttered amongst them, and must have think it was part of the dare, that you were goofing around, but you weren’t. You tried to call out for Shayne, but you felt so weak that you couldn’t find your voice. You only tapped him in the back but he did nothing.

Shayne’s hands were awkwardly on your back as he folded his elbow joints like a robot. But then he finally realized something was wrong when you wobbled and leaned the entirety of your weight over his torso.

“Wow, you okay?” He whispered to you, his voice dripping with concern. You weakly shook your head and tried to wrap your arms around him for support. “Oh my god!!”

“Y/N?” Courtney asked, just as worried when she saw Shayne’s panicked expression.

Shayne quickly wrapped his arms around you to hold you up. You could feel your head spinning as everyone freaked out and stood up, calling your name and loudly speaking in panic.

“Guys, I think we should stop the video!” Damien’s voice exclaimed over the ruckus.

“No, no, leave her some room to breathe!” Noah observed, seeing as everyone closed in, concerned.

“Shayne, you should get her somewhere calm” You couldn’t even distinguish whose voice that was anymore.

You felt relieved when Shayne firmly wrapped one of his strong arms around your waist and easily scooped you up as his other arm hooked under your knees. You tiredly rested your temple against his shoulder, nuzzling his neck for comfort. Damien closely followed, mumbling suggestions about how to help you.

Shayne hurriedly took you away from there and you closed your eyes, trusting him to look after you. You felt so sick that all you wanted to do was sleep and get rid of all that dizziness, queasiness and headache. As soon as you left the warm room and the crowd, you felt a little better.

Before you knew, he set you down in a couch, his arms still hovering around you in case you wobbled and fell off it. But being rid of the pressure of the video and away from the cameras and the bright lights was a big improvement. And now you were surrounded by your two best friends, who would take care of you.

“I’m gonna get you some water” Damien rushed off, leaving the room in a hurry.

“Y/N?” Shayne gently tapped your shoulder and so you looked up at him leaning down to you, even if your glance felt hazy and distant. “Hey, you okay?”

You took a deep breath, still feeling weak and faint, and nodded. He heaved a sigh of relief when you showed some sort of reaction. You hated to worry him and everyone, but you really didn’t have any strength left.

“What happened?” His voice, although soft, was dripping concern just as the one reflected in his piercing blue eyes. He paused, but seeing as you were too weak to properly reply, he continued. “Did you eat something today?”

You feebly shook your head, feeling yourself heavy and clumsy. Needing his comforting closeness, you tugged at his wrist and brought him to the couch with you until he sat by your side.

“I’m here!” Damien then returned, still as frantically as when he left. He clutched a bottle of water in his hand, and was sitting next to you in a flash. “Drink, you’ll feel better”

You took the water from him and began downing it, finding yourself to be incredibly thirsty, maybe even a little bit dehydrated too.

“Easy, buddy, we don’t want you choking on it too” Damien warned you, gently rubbing your arm as to make you feel better.

As soon as you were done drinking, you gave him the water and leaned your head on Shayne’s shoulder, completely exhausted. He wrapped an arm around you to keep you close.

“Is that better?” Your friend asked you, to which you nodded.

“You were a little sick a few days ago, right?” Shayne asked you after that. “Maybe it’s catching up to you”

“Maybe we should get you some sugar or something” Damien muttered, helplessly looking around for something that could help you. “Anything to eat…”

“I’m… I’m feeling a little better” After drinking water and sitting down there, calmly, with your close friends, you were starting to settle a bit. “Don’t worry, guys, I’m okay”

“You almost fainted on me, Y/N!” Shayne suddenly exclaimed, startled at the sound of your voice again. “If you were feeling sick, why didn’t you say so?”

You shrugged, knowing you had no real excuse. You wanted to pretend like you were okay, to keep working and hang out with your friends. But you shouldn’t have pushed yourself like that.

Noticing his friend’s annoyance, and willing to lighten the mood, Damien intervened.

“The important thing is you’re okay” He mumbled. “And now you have to rest”

“Yeah” You sighed, embracing the feeling of their protectiveness. “Thanks”

“You gave us quite a scare there” Damien let out a deep sigh, a bit relieved to see you improving.

“Sorry…” You genuinely said, patting his arm while still resting over Shayne.

“You need to take care of yourself…” Shayne mumbled, still recovering from the mini heart attack.

“Yeah” Damien warmly smiled at you in spite of it all. “Or we will”

You smiled a bit too, knowing they would definitely stay with you there until you felt better.

Tagging: @thatsdarwinism

#youtubers #smosh #shayne #shayne x reader #shayne topp #shayne topp x reader #damien #damien haas #faves #ficlet #youtubers ficlet #smosh ficlet #shayne topp ficlet #shayne ficlet

158 notes · View notes

tarnishedhalo · 6 years

Note

Ugh Hunter & Riley for that broship meme :D

This Meme|Always Accepting

♡ send me a ship and i’ll tell you…♡

when they go camping, who reads the map wrong and gets them lost:

There’s that moment between sleep and wakefulness at 0:400 hrs that has Riley alternately praying for death and wondering who the fuck would call him at this hour. He gropes in the dark before Johnny Cash can wake his sleeping girlfriend. Unlocking his phone and blearily checking the number, he stifles a curse and carefully sits up.

Much as he hates to, he doesn’t try to get his legs under himself so to speak and instead settles in the one piece of furniture he hates, before pushing himself into the next room.

Calls the number back, and just…listens. There’s a few ‘uh-huhs’ and ‘affirmatives’ in there. But for as little noise as he makes, she wakes up anyway.

“Andrew?” And God, how he’s going miss waking up next to that sleep-rumpled voice of hers. “Andy, what’s wrong?”“Hey, Accoushla,” he says and awkwardly invites her to sit in his lap. He hates himself for what he’s about to say, how easily the lie comes. “So…ah… that was my Uncle Phil. He’s sending someone over to pick me up. I guess my cousin Hunter went on a camping trip and my uncle’s worried because he hasn’t heard from him in a few days. Asked me to go check on him up at the family cabin. I’d invite you to go, but with Noah….well. Ya know. Also, cell reception up there’s kind of shitty, so if you don’t hear from me while I’m gone, know I’ll be missing you.”

“Of course. Family’s important.” She runs her fingers through his hair and kisses his brow. Doesn’t even ask why she’s never heard of either man before.

“To me he is.”

who would be a king/queen and who would be a knight:

“Listen – strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the mas-”“Shut up, mate.”

Riley grins. “-masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony.”

The side-glance Hunter throws his way would have peeled paint. Sitting shoulder to shoulder, his knee is bouncing and his expression is inscrutable, even to Riley in the dim lights. His mind is on the mission and he’s taking it far more seriously than Andy feels is necessary. And that’s really where the two men are vastly different. Hunter’s usually all charm and tired smiles and Riley’s usually the one whose interest in things only extends as far as the bottom of his glass.

But at 35,000 the Brit becomes all business. Maybe it’s the mission, maybe it’s that he doesn’t like flying. Riley doesn’t really know and he’s trying to make light of the situation. He can do this all day, after all and maybe his mood is boosted because they are flying.

“….I mean, if I went around sayin’ I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!”

Hunter tries to shoulder-chuck him but the harness keeps him in place and gives him only so much room. “You really are an arsehole, aren’t you.”“Yeah. But what does that make you?”Hunter grins. “I am Arthur. King of the Britains.”

who is the superhero and who is the sidekick:

“45.” Hunter sat on the ground, knees raised to his chest and arms loosely hugging them, hands wrapped around a water bottle.“47.” Riley raised a brow, still laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling.“First two didn’t count.”“Even so…it’s a tie.”And so it went. Mile for mile they ran. Full battle-rattle. Later, they’d say uphill both ways. Their shot patterns were identical. Riley edged the Brit out on the buddy-carry… “If you didn’t weigh the same as a mini-Cooper…”But Hunter took the belly crawl. “S’cheatin’ that is. I’m a half leg down.”“Still lost.”

A week later, they’re at the bar and still trying to work out which one of them was harder-core. They’d moved from PT to other skills, trivia to board games but the games, however competitive they were, came out in a dead heat.“You two still at this?” Brian asks as he takes the third seat. “Bitches, please. We all know…I’m Batman, Junior here is Robin and you, Drewski….lets just call you Alfred.”Beth cleared her throat, setting down a tray of Irish nachos.In unison, they all agreed on one thing. “Poison Ivy.”

who enjoys watching romanic comedies more and who would rather watch bee movie™ on repeat:

“This? Again?”“Fuck you. It’s my favourite movie.”Hunter’s just about to give him another ration of shit when certain things come to his attention. Specifically, the way Riley’s sitting. There’s a cushion at the small of his back, and his leg is bent at an odd angle. The planes of his face are hard and a little waxen and his eyes are dilated in such a specific way that Hunter knows he’s a little high. There’s also the fact that his friend’s gaze can’t seem to track anything, which is ridiculous.

It’s pain and on nights like these, no sleep will be had and nothing will mollify the ache in Riley’s bones. So Hunter does the only thing he can do. He helps himself in the kitchen and makes a batch of curry-dusted popcorn. Sits down on the couch and makes himself comfortable.

He sets the bowl between them within easy reach and takes the offered bottle of beer. “Ta. Really was Kilmer’s defining role, wasn’t it?”“You’re still not my Hungarian devil.”“A fact I will just have to live with.”

who prefers puppies and who prefers kittens:

Hunter watches Riley through the window, specifically how he takes the fall and lands on his side, football tucked into his side as he curls around it almost protectively. Noah’s standing over his father in triumph at having tackled the man’s long legs. A golden retriever puppy dances and gambols around them, barking a little high-pitched sound more ears and enthusiasm than real grace. Of the boy and the puppy, Hunter’s sure they’ll grow into their paws. And something bittersweet creeps up on him. He’d wondered, once upon a time, what kind of father he’d have made. And he comforts himself by saying he’d have been shite at it, and is glad that he and Bobbi didn’t have that as a bone of contention between them.He’s not sure how long he was standing there, or what the expression was on his face because the glass doesn’t reflect it or because he just hadn’t noticed but eventually an arm slips around his waist and a slender, long fingered hand curls around his bicep.“You should go out there and save my husband. He looks like he needs all the help he can get.”

He looks down and smiles, maybe wistfully, at Seren. “Yeah?”Riley’s wife smiles back, her expression soft. “Yeah. Besides, what’s a friendly tag game without Uncle Hunter evening the score?”“I can’t be held responsible if I make him look bad.”“And that’s exactly why I’m sending you into the backyard. Knock a little wind out of his sails. You going to stay for dinner?”“I’d love to, but my cat gets rather angry when I’m late.”

who knits the ugly sweater for the other:

“Put it the fuck on and try to look happy.”

“But…look at it, Who does she think I am, Captain Britain?!”“She went through a lot of trouble to make it for you.”Anyone else, and the jumper would have gone straight into the donation bin where others of its kind often went to die a lonely, second-hand death. The too-bright green for the tree made his eyes ache, and the lines of the Union Jack behind it were just a little off kilter. And where did she even find tinsel yarn?“You owe me one, Riley.”“I always do. But at least it spares her feelings.”Anyone else but Beth and he wouldn’t have cared so much. “Next year, it’s going to be Mexico and not New York.”“You keep saying that. Maybe some day it’ll be true.”

which one can cook and which one can’t even make a bowl of cereal:It’s certainly not that Hunter couldn’t cook, if he wanted to. He just didn’t have the time and inclination that Riley seems to have. And it gets the other up and out of his whiskey-fog for an hour, sometimes more. And if it satisfies some need to treat him like a stray, then…there’s worse things to be.

#whiskeyandtwoshotglasses #sorry this took so long #The first time I did it I'd gotten to the movie and then we had a power-outtage that destroyed all the work I'd put in #Captain SAS|Lance Hunter #Grumpier Not SO Old Men| Hunter and Riley #Honourable Mentions: A Piece of Heaven in my Hands|Seren Riley #World's Okayest Sister|Beth Riley

4 notes · View notes

just-jordie-things · 7 years

Text

Like She’s Mine (part ten) - Stiles Stilinski

sorry for the inconvinience guys :(

warnings: the usual + fist fighting also there’s a lot of pov switching

I was laying in bed wide awake that night. I hadn’t talked to Stiles since Scott and Allison left. After Madi had gone to sleep, I just went straight to my room and laid in bed. Not under the covers, not in pajamas. Just in my jeans and sweater, lying on my back and staring at the ceiling. After a while I pulled out my phone and ended up watching the video I’d previously taken.

Dada

How long will I hear her voice say this in my head?

Around the fifth time I watched the video, the baby monitor went crazy. I heard Madi down the hall just screaming her head off. I jumped off the bed and made my way quickly to the room. But when I walked in, Stiles was already there. I hung back at the doorway, watching as he cradled her and rocked her.

“Sh sh shh it’s okay Madi… it’s okay I’m here” Her screams turned to whimpers. “It’s okay” He cooed. “Daddy’s here” He said softer.

And there it was again, the word that made my whole face fall.

“It’s okay…it’s okay…”

He turned as he spoke down to her, until he was facing me, and his eyes met mine. I wondered what my expression said. Sad? Angry? I wasn’t even sure how I felt, what was he thinking? I stepped back slightly, and went out to the living room while he stayed there with Madi. I wandered aimlessly and plopped myself onto the couch. I sat there staring at my favorite spot. But today the stain just angered me.

When Stiles came back into the room, I looked up at him. My face was blank and he gave me the most broken look.

“I don’t even know what to say to you Stiles” I mumbled.

“y/n…”

“How do I… I never thought that… how is this a conversation I’m having?” I put my elbows on my legs and hung my head in my hands. “Stiles… I… you”

“I know, I know it was wrong but she likes it it calms her down it works and I help and-”

“No, no Stiles you can’t… you can’t do that”

“Why not? Okay I don’t really understand why not?”

“Because you’re not her father” I muttered to the floor.

“What?”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT HER FATHER STILES” I said, standing up and throwing my fists to my sides as I screamed. “You can’t let her believe you are either! Because then that just makes my talk, when she’s older, and I have to tell her that her father was a deadbeat, so much worse!”

“But isn’t that why I’m here!? To help with those things!?”

“Stiles!” I wanted to yank my hair out of my head. “Just because you rock her, or feed her, or are able to make her laugh, does not make you her Dad!” I was trying my hardest not to cry, and it seemed like I wouldn’t shed a tear.

But then he did. He was crying. And I caused it.

“y/n please just-”

“I can’t right now Stiles” I mumbled, shaking my head and lowering my voice. “I can’t do this I can’t- I can’t be around you”

“What?” His voice cracked and I wanted to cry, so badly. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t show him I cared. I needed to stand my ground.

“I nee- I need you to go”

“Go? You’re kicking me out?” He asked. His arms fell limp, and his tears were dripping from his cheeks and off of his jaw.

“Stiles I- no no not kicking out I just need a night to myself please”

“No, no y/n please just can we please just talk? Please?”

“N-no” I choked, and as I walked towards him he backed up to the door. “We can’t Stiles please just go somewhere else tonight I can’t look at you right now”

My heart broke as I said the words. I opened the door, and he walked into the hall.

“y/n please I-”

I shut the door.

When I heard his footsteps walk away, I let out a pained cry and hit my head against it, then my hands. What was I supposed to do about this? God knows I wouldn’t sleep tonight. Would he even talk to me again? Had I hurt him too much? Would he understand.

“Goddamnit!” I screamed, banging my fists on the door before turning around and sliding down against it. When I tell Allison about this, she’s gonna be pissed I let him walk out the door.

The next day at Lou’s, I busied myself as much as possible. Yes, I was avoiding talking to Allison. I knew even the smallest interaction would lead to me spilling about last night’s events.

This morning was the worst though. I had to call the Sheriff short notice and ask if he was open for babysitting. He said he was until two, but that then had to go to the station. I told him I was able to pick her up then and thanked him a million times. Though to be honest, I was feeling pretty embarrassed about the whole situation.

It was one thirty now, and I’d successfully stalled for the whole five hours on taking inventory, watering plants and getting new bushes from the back. My mind was spinning all day, no matter how hard I tried to occupy myself. It just always went back to Stiles crying in front of me.

15 minutes later rolled around, I called a quick goodbye to Alison, leaving in my apron and tugging my baseball cap over my head to hide my obvious sleep lacking eyes. The bags under them this morning were ridiculous. Big dark semicircles that sagged and made tears spring in my eyes. Ridiculous.

I took the bus to the Stilinski household or, as close as I could get. Which was only a block away. I had knocked on the door and began to undo my apron. It opened quicker than expected. But I smiled up at the Sheriff, stuffing my work apron into my bag.

“Come on in y/n, I’ll round up Madi” I nodded and followed him inside. He went into the living room while I stayed at the bottom of the stairs in the doorway.

“Was she any trouble?” I asked, awkwardly rocking on my feet.

“Of course not, Stiles is always so good with her. She didn’t cause a single problem” I bit my lip, not sure what to say. A few moments later he came back over to me with Madison on his hip, and her away bag hanging on his arm.

“Hi baby” I said happily, reaching out for her and her hands stretched out towards mine as well.

“Mama!”

“Dad did you say my name?” Stiles came down the stairs, and before it was too soon to turn back, our eyes made contact. My lips parted, preparing to say something. Maybe hi, or thanks for watching her, but no words came out.

“I uh… I actually have to get going before we miss the bus” I said, taking Madi from Noah’s arms.

“Bus? You don’t have to take the bus y/n Stiles can drive you over” My head shot up to Stiles, just as his eyes snapped to mine. “Right?”

“Yeah, yeah of course y/n I’ll give you a ride over to your complex” He said, coming all the way down the stairs, and picking up his keys from the side table. I didn’t say anything, not even as he opened the door and walked out. Just nodded in a silent thank you to the Sheriff, and followed him outside. I was surprised that he still had Madi’s booster seat in the back, but still didn’t say anything. Just strapped her in and went up to the front. Keeping her bag and mine on my lap as he drove out of the neighborhood.

I was staring out the window, pretending to be interested in the passing trees. Anyone with common sense could see I was bored out of my mind and this tension was killing me. I hadn’t even spoken a word to him.

“If you needed a ride you could’ve called me rather than take the bus” Stiles said, and I looked over to him. His gaze was dead set on the road.

“I didn’t know if you’d want to talk to me” I whispered, and I saw his eyes flick to me from the corner of his eyes. He looked away just as fast though.

“Well then y/n we’ve got more than one problem if you think I’m going to ignore you” I smiled barely, a slight tug at the corners of my lips.

“What’s our problem?” I asked quietly. He turned his head to look at me now.

“You tell me” He said.

The rest of the ride was a comfortable silence.

Stiles walked me up to my room, carrying both bags as I held Madi. He used his own key to unlock the door, and I stared at it for a moment before even going inside. I took Madi to her spot in the living room. She spread out on her blanket and was crawling around with her toys delightedly. The girl enjoyed herself doing anything.

“I'll uh… I'll get going then” Stiles said, rubbing the back of his neck and heading towards the door.

“Wait- wait Stiles” I walked back over to him and he turned. “Um, thanks for the ride” I said weakly. He smiled lightly and nodded.

“No problem” He replied. I chewed on my lip as he walked out. But I still hung back, holding the door open.

“I'm sorry” I called to him before he was out of earshot. Again he turned to face me.

“Me too” He called back. A ghost of a smile tugged on my lips.

“So I'll see you later?” I asked hopefully.

“You couldn't keep me away” He responded with his big dumb grin that always made me laugh.

“Take care Stilinski”

“You too”

When the door shut, I did a little happy dance as I went back to Madi. She just giggled and waved her arms around in her own little dance move that made me giggle.

“Me too princess, me too”

(Meanwhile with Scott and Stiles…)

“So you apologized?” Scott asked as his friend flopped onto his bed.

“We'll sort of?”

“What does sort of mean? Did you say the words ‘I'm sorry’?” Stiles sighed.

“No…”

“Then you didn't apologize” Scott chuckled and began to work on his research paper. He'd grown to be very good at helping Stiles with his y/n drama while studying, working out, cooking, and talking on the phone with Allison.

“But I mean… she said she was sorry when I walked out the door and I said me too” Stiles explained. “And I meant it, and she was friendly after so I guess it's all good?”

“See you've worked yourself up over nothing” Scott said. “You're lucky she forgave you. What you did was stupid”

“But I don't even underst-” Scott let out a long breath. Then swiveled on his desk chair to face his friend.

“You taught Madi to call you daddy”

“Well… kinda yeah” Stiles shrugged a shoulder.

“y/n is the only parent that that little girls got. Whether she calls someone else papa or not, it's all she'll ever have” Stiles swallowed. “You know why you never see me and mrs l/n around?” Stiles shook his head. “Because when they heard of Madi they turned their heads and walked away. How do you think that made y/n feel?”

“Terrible” Stiles mumbled, sitting up on the bed.

“Exactly. The shit in her life isn't just that she had a baby, Stiles”

“I know but… but the shit is the reason why I'm here” He stressed on the word, and Scott shrugged his shoulder and pursed his lips.

“I know, but there are things she won't even be able to tell Allison-”

“I'm closer than Allison” Scott scoffed at the remark.

“You'd be surprised buddy” Stiles’ brows furrowed. “But that's not my place. I'm just saying there's a lot of things that branched off of her having Madi, and keeping Madi, you know?” Stiles was quiet. He stared down at his hands in his lap, fiddling nervously with his fingers. “She lost her parents, Theo is a cocksucker-” Stiles gave Scott an amused look at his choice of words. “She lost her chances at her dream school…” Stiles put his face in his hands, shaking his head back and forth.

“I just want to help… I just don’t want her to be…”

“Alone?” Scott finished, and Stiles let out a groan in answer.

“Do you think she meant to be friendly earlier? Do you think she’ll talk with me?” Scott shrugged his shoulders.

“I can’t answer that for you, I’d like to think so but I can’t tell you that as solid advice” He sighed softly, and Stiles got up, zipping up his hoodie. “Are you leaving?” Stiles nodded.

“I’m gonna walk over to y/n’s apartment” He said.

“You want a ride?”

“Walking will give me time to think” Stiles answered simply. “I don’t mind anyways”

“It’s getting late and dark…” Scott said hesitantly. “You’re sure you don’t want a ride?” Stiles nodded his head.

“I’m good, really” He assured. “I’l text yu or call you later, okay?” Scott nodded.

“Yeah, good luck man”

“Thanks” Stiles said before rushing out of the room and down the stairs. Scott quickly followed him to the door.

“Oh, and Stiles?”

“Yeah?”

“Whatever happens, just be honest with her. She deserves that much” Stiles nodded.

“I will” He said, and rushed outside. “Bye!”

(back to reader’s pov at her apartment…)

“I am searching high I’m searching low…” I rocked Madi in my arms as I stood over her crib. She’d woken up again crying, only an hour into her sleep. On the bright side, I was still awake. “Ooh, does she know that we bleed the same?” I sang softly to her and watched her eyes droop shut slowly. “Don’t wanna cry but I break that way… did she run away did she run away I don’t know… if she ran away if she ran away come back home… just come home” I paused my movements, checking to see if she’d truly fallen asleep.

I sighed with a smile as she was, and laid her back into the crib.

“Goodnight princess” I murmured, kissing her head as always, and closing the door as I walked out. I clipped the baby monitor onto my belt loop and went back to the kitchen. I’d previously been making my dinner. It was nine thirty now… the night kind of got away from me. My meal was mac and cheese, but honestly I didn’t even care. Was so hungry I salivated just looking at Madison’s baby food jars. The smell is what made my stomach stop growling. When I finished, I excitedly dumped the noodles into a plastic disney princess bowl I borrowed from Madi. My hunger was getting pretty extreme.

I’d just sat down at the table when rapid knocking. It’s nearly ten who’s coming over at this hour? As much as I wanted to ignore it, and scarf down my food, I pushed myself up, and went to the door.

“y-y/n”

My eyes widened as they landed on a beat up Stiles. A swelling purple eye, a split lip, blood dripping down from the side of his face.

“Good god what happened to you?” I stammered out and tanked him inside by his sleeves.

(2 hours earlier… stiles’ pov)

I'd been wandering around Beacon Hills, slowly making my way to y/n’s apartment complex. My hands were in my pockets and I just tried to collect my thoughts of what I would say when I got there. Apologize again? Beg for forgiveness?

Honesty. Be honest. She deserves that much.

Scott’s voice rang in my head and of course it sounded good, it sounded like the right thing to do, but could I do it? Could I be honest and tell her why I taught Madi to call me dad? Could I tell her how much I wanted that? No, of course not. Because that would involve me telling her how much I love her and I can’t do that. Our friendship is already on the rocks and it would be selfish of me to wreck the little things she had left just because I’d caught feelings.

But oh how much those feelings fucked up my life. It wasn’t even something that happened over time. It wasn’t ‘a crush I had when I was young and it grew every day-’ yuck. No. It just hit me like Allison’s uppercut. I just looked over at y/n one day and knew. I knew I was in love with her. I knew she was the only girl I would ever see myself. The only girl I could only be with. I wanted to wake up next to her in the mornings and make her breakfast, I wanted to kiss her before she left for work and play with Madi all day, I wanted to be mom and dad, I wanted to be the one to put a ring on her finger. I wanted all of it, the good, the bad, the happy and down days, everything.

But Scott was right. She had enough on her plate.

And it would be selfish of me to ask her for anything more than what we have now.

The sky was getting darker, fading from a bright blue to dull grey. It looked like someone had put a black and white filter on it. y/n loved black and white photos-

Damn it Stiles stop thinking about it.

I think this is what people mean by digging your own holes.

And here’s my problem. No matter what, I can’t stop thinking about her. At the most random moments. If I even see a word that has a letter that’s in her name, I’m already gone. I’m in too deep. And I don’t even know how to get out.

As if I were given a sign, I saw a familiar head of gelled hair walk out of a shop, and across the street. I stared at him, and contemplated what I was going to do next. I spoke before processing, and that’s where it went wrong.

“Hey, hey Theo” I called, and he turned. He looked at me with furrowed brows, clearly confused. I picked up my pace and jogged over to him.

“Uh, hey, do I know you?”

“Stiles, Stilinski? We went to highschool together” His mouth made an ‘o’.

“You were on the lacrosse team right? Never played?”

“Yeah, yeah that’s me” I chuckled bitterly. “You uh, you lied to y/n right?” His face fell, seemingly recognizing the name.

“Lied? No I don’t think so. But I do remember y/n… wow she was a beauty wasn’t she?”

“Oh she still is” I said, and took my hands from my pockets. They set on my hips and for a moment I felt like Lydia. Weird.

“She still have good legs?” I snorted. I fucking snorted. Theo laughed too, and it made my blood boil. “I do remember her legs. She always wore those shorts and miniskirts… wow what I would give to see them aga-”

Somehow I found the courage and confidence and my fist collided against his jaw before he could say another word.

“If you ever even fucking think about seeing her again, I’ll tear you to shreds Raeken” I snarled, and he looked at me confused, but also slightly amused. His hand rubbed over his jaw. “You ruined her life, she couldn’t go to her dream school because your dumbass knocked her up!” His brows raised, and before I knew it he’d grabbed my collar and slammed my back into his truck.

“You must have me confused with some prick Stilinski… because I never once fucked her” I growled and my eyes narrowed at him. My knee raised and I kicked him in the gut, causing him to stumble back.

“You’re even more of a jackass than I thought” I said, shoving his shoulders hard as he neared me again. His fist balled and he socked me across the cheek, toppling me to the ground. He jumped on me before I could move, lifting my upper arms and shoving me straight back down into the pavement. I think I cracked my head on the ground but tried to show no sign of pain.

“You know what, I do remember fucking her” He snarled, and again punched me across my jaw from the other side. Pain seared through my head and down my neck. “She was so good, you have no idea” Another punch, and the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth. “And you never will Stilinski, because a girl like y/n, would never even think twice about being seen with a lame ass benched lacrosse player like you” I moved to push at him, but his knuckles collided with my eye.

“You’re a dick” I said, spitting blood up at his face. But he wiped it off with his sleeve, and shoved me down as he stood.

“And you’re a loser” He responded. “You always have been Stiles. The only reason people like y/n, like Lydia like Scott, keep you around, is because they feel bad for you”

“That’s fucking lie”

“Is it Stiles? You’re the kid who’s mom died. You’re the kid who’s leg is always bouncing under the table and making people’s pencils fall on the ground. You’re the klutz, you can’t keep to yourself, you always open your damn mouth at the wrong time you’re a star wars geek, and you’re hitting on a girl who’s so far out of your league, that you’ll end up an old loser just like your Dad”

I wanted nothing more than to get up and swing at him again, but I couldn’t even stand. I couldn’t even move.

Theo spit down on the ground which thankfully did not land on me, then got in his truck.

“Stay the fuck away from me Stiles. Or I’ll give you a real beating”

Did that really all just happen?

(back to present time, readers pov)

“Stiles come in” I said, still clutching onto the sleeves of his dirty hoodie. I stared at him with wide eyes, looking him up and down. “Oh God- oh- how?” I shook my head, unable to form words. My shaky fingers made quick work unzipping the ratty jacket and taking setting it on the small table by the door.

“I-” Stiles almost spoke but I dragged him carefully into the living room.

“Sit here, I’m getting the first aid kit” I told him, and ran back to the bathroom, ransacking the drawers and cabinets for the red plastic box. “First aid first aid… damnit where is it!” Bottles and boxes fell onto the counter until I finally found it, and rushed back to Stiles. I sat on the couch next to him and attempted opening up the box but my hands were quivering too much.

“H-hey” Stiles’ voice cracked. “It’s fine, I’m fine, breathe” He said slowly, and I closed my eyes as his bloody hand rested over mine. I sucked in a deep breath, and let it back out for as long as I could. When I calmed myself enough, I opened my eyes and looked down at his hand. The blood was coming from his knuckles.

“You got in a fight” I said quietly. My brows furrowed as I met his eyes again. “Who did you get in a fight with? Oh god please not Sco-”

“No it wasn’t Scott” He said miserably, and again I attempted to open the first aid box. This time successfully doing so, and pulling out neosporin and gauze.

“Well are you gonna tell me who it was?” I asked, holding his hand up in mine. “This is gonna sting a little” I said, spraying neosporin on the back if his hand. He didn’t wince or even flinch.

“I don’t want to” He said in the softest voice. I wiped the blood and disinfectant as gently as I could. His fingers curled and I kept mumbling apologies every time I did it too rough.

“Is it important for me to know?” I asked him, and when I finished wiping I took the gauze and wrapped it around his knuckles and palm. Stiles sighed.

“I saw… uhm… I saw…” I looked up to im patiently but expectantly. “I was walking here from Scott’s and…” Was it really so bad?”

“Look if you want you don’t have to tell m-”

“I beat up Theo Raeken cause I saw him leave and I don’t know what happened one second I’m wondering if it’s even real and the next I’m punching him and he’s on top of me and saying shit about you and he ruined your life I couldn’t just let him get away and I’m sorry I know you hate fighting cause it makes you sick but he was just.. I care about you so, so damn much y/n and he was just getting away with it” Stiles spoke so fast I was surprised I heard every word. The were registering slowly through my mind. Stiles was staring at me as I sat in silence across from him. “Say something be mad, cry, something please just tell me how to fix it I don’t want to fight anymore-”

I wrapped slid my arms around my neck and slowly pulled myself against his chest, hugging him to me as tears welled in my eyes. His arms slowly wrapped around my back, and I heard im wince so I pulled away.

“You’re not mad?”

“I… I don’t know how to answer that” I replied, wringing my hands together. I began to busy myself with getting out an aloe like lotion for his eye and lips.

“What does that mean?” Stiles asked, and I gently began to dab my finger all around his eye. He closed them both as I focused on my work.

“Well… I guess I’m mad you thought you had to fight him-”

“The bastard deserved it-!”

“Volume” I whispered. “Please don’t wake Madi she’s been crying all afternoon” I said, and he closed his mouth. I heard him breathe heavily through his nose.

“He still deserved it”

“I don’t disagree, but I’ve come to terms with him. I don’t have control over him so I don’t focus a lot of negative energy towards him”

“You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what he was saying. About your legs” He muttered the last part in a tone that was almost a growl. I put more lotion on the tip of my index finger.

“My legs?” Stiles’ eyes opened and I smirked just a little. “What about my legs?”

“I’m not repeating it” He uttered, and I giggled softly.

“I didn’t know they were so special” I said, and began to rub the lotion onto his lower lip.

“W-well they’re nice you know as legs go th-they aren’t bad or anything” I giggled and raised a brow.

“Do you like my legs, Stiles?” His cheeks tinted pink and I laughed as I finished smearing the lotion until you couldn’t see the white color anymore. “Does that hurt at all?” I whispered, and he shook his head.

“So you aren’t mad about the fighting?” He asked.

“Nope”

“So the good parts of my story is me beating the shit out of Theo” He smiled proudly and I packed up the plastic box again.

“The good part about the story is that you defended me. Even though I’ve been treating everyone like shit” I chuckled bitterly, and walked back to the dinner table where my mac and cheese was. I took a huge forkful of it before I could be distracted.

“Well y-yeah that’s what we… that’s what we do” Stiles said sheepishly. “And you haven’t been treating everyone like shit… I know you’ve got a lot going on” I looked down at the bowl as I stood in the middle of the room eating. “Uh… Scott told me you actually did get into Corcoran” I paused my chewing, just swallowing the lump of food and blanking my expression.

“Yeah… yeah I did” I whispered shakily.

“Do…. do you wanna talk about it?”

“No” I answered right away. “No I don’t want to talk about any of that that’s an old part of my life”

“But back then it was important to you” Stiles said softly. “Don’t you ever think about what your life would be like now if you’d gone?”

“No I don’t. Don’t you have more pressing matters to worry about rather things that I don’t care about anymore?” I snapped, gesturing almost angrily towards his beaten face.

“I don’t actually, because the past hour of my life has been me trying to help you, in fact, the past ten years of my life has been me trying to help you” He raised his voice but not to the yelling point. I silently was grateful for that.

“Well then find someone else to help because I’m doing fine on my own”

“I know you are but I’m just here for anything y/n, maybe you get called into work, I’m here to watch Madi. Or if you’re sick, I’m here to take care of you. That’s what I do. That’s what I’ve always done”

“Stiles you’re not my mom, you don’t have to hover-”

“Damnit y/n that’s not what-” He paused mid sentence, taking in a deep breath.

“Well then what Stiles? What did you mean?” I asked tiredly, and setting my bowl on the table again. Suddenly I wasn’t hungry anymore.

“Nevermind” He grumbled, and headed towards the door.

“So now you leave? Seriously? What the hell Stiles-

“Goodnight y/n” He said in a low voice, and stomped out, closing the door behind him. My eyes watered as I just stared at it.

What the hell just happened?

His sweatshirt was still on the table, and I was just standing there, frozen and silent like an idiot. Until tears began to fall and small whimpers erupted from my throat. I was about to go lock the door when it whipped open again.

“Screw it” Stiles mumbled, crossing the room in fast strides.

“Stiles-” His hands flew up to cup my cheeks, and in seconds his lips covered mine. My eyes widened for a moment in surprise, but I melted into it and pressed my lips against his softly, as not to make his split wound hurt any more than it probably did. He pulled back for a split second and I gasped, but his hands just slid back to my hair and he kissed me again. And god it didn’t feel real. Years of dreaming, of wondering and pretending what he felt like, it was nothing compared to the real thing. His lips were warm, and soft. They tasted like the coconut lotion and a slight hint of dry blood but I didn’t even care. I just lifted my hands from his shoulders to tangle up in his hair.

This time when we pulled away, my eyes opened, to find he was already staring back at me.

“Sorry I forgot something” He said quietly. My brows raised slightly.

“Well I hope you found it” I said in an amused tone, and he smiled slightly.

“I spent most of my life looking for it I think I know what I’m doing” Now it was my turn to smile and blush. It was quiet for a second before I leaned up on the tips of my toes to kiss him tenderly. A small, sweet kiss. His hand cupped the back oh my head, the other resting on my hip. “What an eventful night” He hummed, kissing me again.

“Mhm” I mumbled into his mouth, not wanting to pull away.

“I have to go though, Scott’s expecting me back” I pouted, wrapping both arms around his neck.

“Don’t go things just got interesting” I whined. He chuckled, pushing my hair back behind my ear.

“How about I come back in the morning then” Stiles said quietly. I pondered for a moment, then grinned and nodded, my nose bumping his. “Alright” He kissed me longingly, then let go of me. “I’ll see you in the morning then”

“Okay” I whispered and followed him to the door. He opened it and turned to me, squeezing my hand with his gauze wrapped one. “Don’t get into any fights on the way home” I murmured.

“I make no promises” I rolled my eyes.

“Goodnight Stiles”

“Goodnight y/n” He squeezed my hand once more then let go. I smiled sadly as he walked out the door.

That just wasn’t real.

“that escalated quickly in the greatest way possible”

ooh. boy that kiss tho... in my head it played out sooo guud

tagged: @almondmilkislove @bunnyboo10154 @morganschiebel @johnsonxstilinski @spinjitsu-percy-horan @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday @dreamshapedpeter @peter-andhislostgirls @kindoflower and @celestial-writing

don’t get into fights unless it’s justified babies :3

xoxo ~ jordie

99 notes · View notes

sunfloooooower · 7 years

Text

Mended. Chapter 9.

Audrey’s Point of View

I was sweeping up theater 3 when someone wrapped their arms around my waist and pressed a kiss to the back of my neck. The tension immediately left my body as I leaned back into Ari’s embrace, forgoing my job to place my hands over hers. She hummed in contentment and started pressing kisses along the side of my neck until she got to my ear. Then she sucked the lobe into her mouth and scrapped her teeth over it, making me dig my nails into her thigh through her pants.

“I’m trying to work,” I whined as she her hands slid over my hips and squeezed. “Anna, I’m serious.”

She laughed huskily in my ear before whispering. “Do you really want me to stop, baby? Because I don’t think you do.”

I regret every second I ever thought she was innocent. Well, either that or I turned her bad. Both options were incredibly attractive and I really didn’t want her to stop. I leaned my head back against her shoulder and let her do what she wanted with hopes that we wouldn’t be caught… again.

Well, I don’t think the first time necessarily counts. Ari and I were closing together last week when I ended up pinning her against the wall with one of her legs wrapped around my hip. Her top was off and I was leaving more than a couple marks across her skin when Noah came in to pick me up. Let’s just say I wasn’t a big fan of him seeing her topless, but I had to push that aside and take care of her because she was near panic attack. She had anxiety that made an appearance whenever she was the center of attention.

I focused back on Ari when I felt her hands sliding up my shirt, her fingers trailing over my bare stomach. That was my breaking point, her hands were so soft it drove me crazy. I turned around in her embrace and pressed our lips together. Her other hand gripped my butt and made me release a throaty moan against her mouth. I’d never been so vocal before her.

The kiss broke when she grinned and pulled away to look at me. Her lips were puffy and her face was flushed, the embodiment of sexy. “God, you’re so freakin’ gorgeous.”

“Shut up,” she groaned, leaning back away from me but leaving her hands on my body. “You’re gorgeous.”

“Shut up,” I mocked, leaning forward and kissing her lightly. “Did you have a reason for this or were you just feeling frisky?”

She scoffed and released me so she could cross her arms over her chest. “Why do I have to have a reason? Can’t I just want to kiss my girlfriend?”

I raised my brows and asked, “Oh, so I’m your girlfriend now? When did that happen?”

She clammed up and I instantly felt awful. I rubbed my thumb just under her ear and leaned my forehead against hers. When she didn’t respond, I took both sides of her face in my hands and tilted it up until she had no choice but to look at me.

“I’m an ass, the world’s biggest ass,” I said. “You are my girlfriend and I am your girlfriend. I was just trying to be funny and it flopped. We’ve talked about how the only thing I’m good at is saying the wrong thing.”

“I swear I’m trying to not be so sensitive, it’s just hard,” she sighed, allowing me to hold her as her spine lost its rigidity. “I know you’re not Delia, and I know I really care about you.”

Her confession made warmth blossom inside me. I loved hearing her say she cared about me and knew I wasn’t her ex. When she’d first dropped that bomb, it broke my heart for her. There was enough issues within the LGBTQ community, the issues between community members themselves made things worse. Her not trusting me because I was bi kind of made me sad for her as well as myself. If I was even bi, I wasn’t sure and I know I would probably feel the same way if our roles were reversed.

“I am so into you, Arianna Eleanor,” I swore, her soft eyes holding mine steadily. “I don’t know if I’m a lesbian or if I’m bi, but I do know I like you a lot.”

She nodded and brushed her nose against mine, making me smile. “Good, sometimes I need to hear that. I just need a little reassurance.”

“Jensen, Henry! Your tongues better be in your own mouths!” Hank, a guy we worked with, shouted as he entered the theater. “Gross, I think I’d rather see the two of you going at it than this.”

“We’re not here to fuel your spank bank,” I snapped at him, letting go of Ari so she could step back. “What do you want?”

“I was going to see if Ari would finish my shift for me. My kid’s in the hospital,” he said, instantly going from creep to normal. “I think she broke her arm.”

“Oh, no. I’ll totally cover for you,” she replied, turning her body to face him. “Tell Lilly I hope she feels better soon!”

Hank smiled and nodded to her. “I will, thanks.”

She hugged me once more before following Hank back out to the lobby. I picked up the broom and went back to doing my job. She was so nice sometimes, the two of us didn’t make sense. I wasn’t nice or friendly most of the time, but she was probably one of the most outgoing people I’ve ever met… when she was comfortable at least.

…

Ari’s Point of View

I got off at nine that night instead of six because I’d taken on the rest of Hank’s shift. Audrey and I made plans to meet at her place and watch movies together, but I went home long enough to shower and change into comfy clothes before going there for the night. My mom was pretty okay with that, I mean it wasn’t like I could get pregnant and I wasn’t going to get a STD or anything. We also weren’t having sex, but that wasn’t important.

I pulled into her driveway just behind her dad’s car and checked my hair in the mirror. It was the first time she was going to see me without makeup and I was a little nervous. I knew she wasn’t going to judge me or anything, but it was like losing my safety blanket.

Once I’d psyched myself up enough, I headed up to her door. I could hear her dad in the living room with the TV playing, and my anxiety amped up even more. The two of us hadn’t met yet, and I wasn’t even aware we were at that level yet. I honestly was under the influence that we’d be alone… I was wrong. I’d barely raised my hand to knock when the door was flung open by Audrey.

“Hi,” she said, grinning at me cheesily. “Come in!”

I followed her inside and heard the TV suddenly go silent. Then her father walked into the room where we were, smiling tiredly at us. I instantly saw the similarities between their smiles, even if his didn’t quite reach his eyes like Audrey’s did.

“I’m Ari,” I introduced, extending my hand to him. “It’s nice to meet you.”

He took my hand in his and shook it politely, but I could see that he seriously didn’t want to be here. “The pleasure’s all mine, Ari.”

Thankfully, the awkward encounter ended a couple seconds later and Audrey led the way upstairs to her room. Halfway there, her hand found mine and twined our fingers together affectionately. I felt a familiar smile pulling at my lips as I followed her into her room and she shut the door.

“Sorry, I didn’t tell you about my dad. He was supposed to be at the parish all night,” she told me, turning around and taking my other hand in hers. “You are so gorgeous, Jesus. I know I say that a lot, but I keep realizing it.”

My insides liquefied just like always when she complimented me, then I realized what she said before that. “Wait, did you just say parish? As in your father is a preacher?”

She dropped my hands and rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, walking around the room nervously. “Oh, uh, yeah. I forgot to mention that, didn’t I?”

“Hey,” I said, halting her movements and holding her face in my hands. “Your dad could be freakin’ Jeffrey Dahmer and I would still be into you.”

I was being funny, but she froze in my hands and became distant within seconds. “Hey, what happened? Is everything okay?”

She nodded her head and leaned forward, kissing me instead of replying. As much as I wanted to keep talking, kissing her was kind of intoxicating. I slid my hand under her shirt to rest on the bare skin of her hip as her fingers tightened around my face seductively. She walked me backward until my knees hit the side of her bed and I fell back onto it clumsily, trapping my bottom lip between my teeth when I looked up at her with a flush dusting my cheeks.

“Are you just going to look at me or actually do something?” I challenged, swallowing my embarrassment.

She narrowed her eyes before crawling over my body, pushing my shirt up as she placed kisses along my stomach. We’d never done this, but I couldn’t figure out why not for the life of me. My breath was shaky as I ran my fingers through her hair, my head tossed back when her kisses reached the bottom of my bralette.

I pushed her back long enough to sit up and pull my t-shirt over my head, then I pulled her back down on top of me. We kissed fiercely, my hands under the back of her shirt and running over her skin delicately. But, before it could get too intense, I pulled my mouth away from hers and took her shirt off.

She smirked down at me and leaned in to kiss the side of my neck with her hands teasing my skin. Her kisses moved down and I leaned my head back, giving her more room. My fingers were busy twisting in her hair, trying to keep my noises as quiet as possible.

“You’re making it very hard to stay quiet,” I breathed out as she kissed just below my collarbone.

She laughed and it made a shiver course down my spine. “That must be hard, I know how loud you are.”

Her teasing did something to me and she knew it. Instead of answering her with words, I whined pathetically and arched into her. Her breathy laugh sounded again and irritated me a little, this wasn’t just going to be about her teasing me.

While she was distracted, I rolled her onto her back and pinned her hands on either side of her head. She licked her lips and drug her teeth across her bottom lip, making a moan escape my mouth as I pounced on her. She was wearing a black lace halter bra that looked way too good against her pale skin as I pressed kisses along her chest and cleavage. I made sure to leave a mark on her where only we’d see it.

I traced my tongue along the swell of her breast and she let out a mewling sound that dampened my panties. Things were going way too far, we needed to chill even if that was the last thing I wanted to do. I kissed back up to her neck and pressed a small one to her lips before rolling off her.

The only sound in the room was our breathing as we laid beside each other with our shoulders touching. Her fingers brushed against the back of mine before she turned onto her side to look at me. There was a bit of worry behind her eyes and I knew I had to explain what happened before she took it the complete wrong way.

“Hi,” I breathed, turning on my side to match her. “I do want to have sex, just not yet. If that’s what you’re worried about.”

She nodded and replied, “Yeah, I get that. I don’t want to move too fast with you and mess things up.”

“If you weren’t so freakin’ cute, it would be easier,” I sighed, leaning forward as a laugh left my mouth. “God, you’re so sexy it’s unfair.”

That made her laugh and push my shoulder until I looked back at her. “Shut up, I am not sexy at all. I’m butch as hell.”

I snorted and reached forward to hold her side, running my fingers over her skin. “I think you’re so sexy, butch or not. Jesus, I can’t even deal with it.”

She rolled me over and pinned my hands like I’d done with her earlier. “I can’t even start to tell you how much you turn me on, Anna.”

I arched my neck up and kissed her again, the kiss sweet instead of fierce. She released my hands and I draped my arms over her shoulders, my fingers playing leisurely with her hair. One of her hands cradled my head while the other skimmed up and down my ribs.

When we parted, she lazily said, “Mhm, we’d better watch those movies before things get out of hand.”

I made a noise of agreement and allowed her to move off of me. She tossed me my t-shirt as she went to turn on the movies. We cuddled up together on her bed, her head leaning against my chest as I reclined against her headboard and played with her hair absentmindedly.

#Audrey Jensen Imagines #Audrey Jensen Imagine #Audrey Jensen #MTV Scream #Scream Imagines #Mended

12 notes · View notes