#nobody look at me im rusty lmao

[pettyprocrastination]

Taste Test

Pairing: Line Cook!Simon Riley x Line Cook!Fem!Reader

Summary: Simon is warned by his manager about the dangers of a workplace romance. You are asked for your opinion on seasoning.

Warnings: profanity and smoking.

Wordcount: 1.3k

Note: take this silly little thing as an apology for my utter lack of activity lately I'm so sorry yall! Made simon a linecook as a little joke au but now its kinda stuck in my head and not leaving lmao. Big thank you to @madhyanas @thesadvampire and @yeehaw-djarin for being my beta readers and editors for this story! I smooch you all <3

__________________

Simon had just finished plating his sixth steak of the night when the manager, Elise, a woman with twitching hands and cold eyes, pokes her head into the kitchen and barks his name. 

“My office.” 

The others snicker and bump shoulders like schoolboys, calling out a jested “fuck did you do this time, Riley?” that he doesn’t bother answering with words so much as a choice hand gesture thrown into the air before he ducks under the door frame and disappears down the hall. 

“You want to tell me what I’m getting chewed out for?” Simon rasps as he tucks his hands into the front pocket of his apron, scarred fingers curling around the carton of cigarettes tucked within it. 

Elise’s office is hardly bigger than the pantry, just large enough for a rickety desk piled with bills and a chair with a threadbare cushion that was all but pressed flat. 

“I’m not reprimanding you, Simon.” 

“Is that so?” 

“Think of what I’m about to say as-” Elise tilts her head, flashing him a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “A preventive measure.” 

Simon fishes out a lighter from his back pocket as she continues. She doesn’t have the energy to tell him to stop.

“What do you think of the new hire?” 

Truthfully, nothing.

You don’t talk much outside of work. While the other cooks are content to crack jokes and tell stories of their weekend to one another as they prepare meals, you have no such social connection to anybody within the kitchen. The only moments Simon had even heard your voice was the rushed announcement of your position behind somebody or when coming around the corner. 

“She’s fine.” He takes a slow drag of his cigarette and exhales, smoke curling from his lips as he speaks. “Does her job and doesn’t bitch like the others.”

“She’s more than fine.” Elise motions to a stapled pack of paper on her desk. 

 “Kid went to culinary school, trained under some big fucking names and even worked at some five-star joints before coming here. All her previous employers say she’s a hard worker who picks up shifts and doesn’t cause trouble.” 

She picks up the paper and points it towards the six foot four cook hunched in her doorway.

“Which is exactly why I’m telling you now that she is off-fucking-limits to you.” 

Simon bites down on his cigarette. “S’cuse me?” 

“Don’t play coy, Riley. You’re far too fucking grown to pretend you don’t know what you do.” 

He does know. Simon is more than aware of the past flings he’s had with multiple servers, none of which have ended on a positive note and all of which resulted in a souring work environment until they up and quit - leaving front of house understaffed until the next poor bastard walked through the door asking about the Help Wanted sign hung outside. 

But the blame can’t be on him entirely, that is. Each doe-eyed waitress entered a fling with the cook knowing good and well what his intentions were, because he had no issue with saying it right to their face. 

‘I’m not looking for a relationship.’ 

Simon is a blunt man. He tells people what he wants because in a world full of dragging feet and double entendres, he values efficiency and honesty above all else. 

“Listen, I’ve never stopped you from dipping your hand in the cookie jar before, but this?” She waves your resume in front of him again. “This right here? Off-limits. If you run this poor girl out and leave us understaffed for the Sunday rush I will fucking gut you myself, Simon.” 

It’s only been a week and a half since you’ve started working with them. Part of him wants to laugh at Elise’s exasperated accusation. That somehow, in the midst of chaotic shifts where several customers complain and a few bar patrons get rowdy enough for him to have to drag them out by the collar, he’d be able to find the fucking time to learn your goddamn name, let alone sweettalk his way between your legs. 

But then he remembers the muffled laugh you hid in your sleeve yesterday when listening to the dishwasher crack jokes during the lunch rush and how you tap the side of your apron in a constant rhythm when looking for something within the kitchen. Simon interrupts his own thoughts and frowns, mildly surprised about just how much he noticed of you from the corner of his eye during the daily lunch rush. Had Elise said nothing, he wouldn’t have cast a second glance in your direction. But now?

“Simon! Are you listening?” 

She may have just cursed herself. 

“Yeah-” He stamps his cigarette out on the ceramic tray on her desk, offering her a dry clip of his voice before turning on his heel. “No fucking the new cook until we find coverage, got it.” 

Simon narrowly avoids a stapler being thrown in his direction before ducking out of her office and back into the kitchen where his coworker grins at him from the sink. 

“So? She fire your dumbass yet?” 

Across the kitchen, you cut onions with a flicking wrist that never ceased movement, brows furrowed and mumbling to yourself. 

Simon hums. 

You’re quite pretty. 

“Not yet.” He rumbles. “She likes my smile too much.” 

You spare Simon a glance as he settles back into his work station next to you before you resume cutting. He notices there’s a scar on your bottom lip, a little sliver of raised skin that goes from the bottom of your chin to the swell of your lower lip. 

“Hey.” 

His voice shakes you from your focus, hands freezing as you turn to look at him, lightly craning your neck to meet his eyes. 

Simon holds out a spoon to you, the other scarred hand hovering beneath to keep it from spilling. 

“Mind giving your opinion? Can’t tell if it needs more garlic.”

There’s a moment where your brows cinch together and you look at him with caution, as if to sniff out any sort of deceit within his offer before you mumble, “Yeah, yeah, okay,” and lean forward. 

There’s no need for him to feed you. You’re a fully grown woman who could take the spoon from his hand with no issue, but Simon finds himself guiding it to your mouth and letting his other hand tuck under your chin in an affectionate gesture far too intimate for the back kitchen of a local restaurant. 

Simon is sure that Elise has cursed him too. He hadn’t given you a second glance or a spare thought since your first day. But now, he watches your eyes flutter shut as you hum at his cooking. 

“Good?” he asks. 

Your tongue darts out to catch a stray droplet of sauce on your lower lip. “Good.” Your lips purse like you have something more to say and you raise your hand, pinching your pointer finger to your thumb in a universal gesture. 

“Could use just a bit more garlic though.” 

There’s a brief moment after you speak where panic fills your eyes as Simon says nothing. Frantic thoughts fill your brain, wondering if that was some sort of test for the new hire that you had failed due to your own personal tastes until the man that towers over you nods. 

“More garlic.” He echoes. With a short nod of his head, he turns back to his station without another word. 

Simon doesn’t speak to you again for the rest of your shift yet at times during the night, where an unexpected pause takes over the kitchen for a brief but appreciated moment of silence, you feel his gaze on the back of your neck. 

When the time of the night comes to hang up your apron and slip through the backdoor, he joins you without a word. A large looming shadow walking in step with your own, unexpected but not unwelcome. He bids you a rasped “ ‘Night” before turning to his car as you unlock your own, offering him a mimic of his words before you drive home. 

You notice in the reflection of your rear view mirror that he doesn’t leave the parking lot right away. But rather chose to wait until you do to finally depart. 

#line cook simon tag #nobody look at me im rusty lmao #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x female reader #simon riley x you #ghost x reader #ghost x you #simon riley x fem reader #watch me find eight fucking typos the minute i post this lmao

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 43: Voltron Frees the Slaves Season 1, Episode 44: Voltron vs. Voltron

Episode 43: Voltron Frees the Slaves Do I recognize this episode name? I think so

Allura - tries to be positive, Hunk - immediately pessimistic Like I fully agree with hunk here don't get me wrong but cmon man enjoy the peace for a bit like Keith said

"Lotor you are my son, may I be forgiven, and some day you will be king, may the evil gods help the planet. I have a special assignment to see if you could prove worthy of the throne" LMAO ZARKON ISN'T EVEN HIDING HIS DISDAIN FOR HIS OWN SON ANYMORE, I LOVE HIM FOR THAT

Idk why zarkon keeps trusting Lotor with destroying Voltron, like dude do you not remember the last 42 episodes lmao

oh I don't recognize this episode, was I wrong? I kind of know the looks of these characters, weird also a girl died in front of her lover by missile strike and ofc that was censored, but it was a funny one because we get no context as to why the guy just starts sobbing

Have other planets been named after Zarkon after being taken over? Why is this one just now being called Zarkonia

DID HAGGARS CAT JUST PUSH A GUY OFF A CLIFF?? WILD

is Voltron a universe wide legend then? I know that's probably obvious by now, but it's still wild to hear, and believable honestly since our cultures share the same stories in the same ways

well these kids are stupid if they think they can take lotor hostage, like itll probably work because its dotu and everything goes in their favor but still

I definitely recognize this episode now, I just don't know the plot like I thought I did

"this is a man's work!" kill die maim I know that was them trying to be brave and then setting up the only girl there to fight them on it to help to show she's strong but ugh

aand immediately the plan gets fucked because haggar's cat spies on them, if one of those kids doesn't die ill be disappointed

even better they're used as hostages, though that's gonna go south for lotor real fast

im sorry no launch sequence for the team? i guess they were saving money this episode at least the team knows it's a trap and is prepared for it

animation error, the little girl's dress is the same blue as her brother's, but it goes back to an off-white when it zooms out

"That mighty robot will be desTROYED" Lotor has no patience for kids confirmed

"Voltron doesn't know the gravity of the situation, but I do!" Lotor stop using good puns to trick people into thinking actually funny, you may be a clown, but you sure aren't the kind that makes people laugh

DID THEY NUKE THE KIDS WHEN THE TEAM CAME BY? THAT IS SUCH A WILD TURN FROM "CHANGING GRAVITY TO SLOW DOWN VOLTRON FOR THE ROBEAST TO GET HIM" they're all alive though fucking somehow because everyone merged into this weird orb thing

nobody remembers a goddamn thing about how it happened

WHY IS PIDGE SUDDENLY THE SMART GUY NOW, WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE HAS A SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION BRING ME BACK FERAL REGULAR SMART PIDGE

sorry hold on, were the kids trapped on a whole different planet? This is why we need context good god now that they're saved the team is going to actually free the real planet

this robeast just looks like a regular mech again, what happened to the monster designs I liked those a lot

was that dodge a jojo reference

voltron has been automatically calibrating their weapon fire this whole time?? I feel like the team should be rusty after that because it's been a while since they became a team

does voltron have a retractable mace as a weapon, what the actual fuck why don't we see these cool weapons more often

oh a classic scene, one strike from each opponent where one gets hurt but one truly loses of course voltron wins because he pulled out blazing sword

the fight scenes this time around for voltron v robeast was actually pretty cool, I was more invested in it than I thought I'd be

these kids wanna be part of the vf huh? Inch resting ideas are coming to me the planet name is Bravura by the by

/episode end

Episode 44: Voltron vs Voltron Now this one I know FOR SURE

i love when episodes open with zarkon complaining, he's such a mood

Haggar's cat is just a full-time nark isn't he

"I provided a glamorous touch by darkening the circles under his eyes!" Haggar turned Voltron emo by giving him black eyeliner

Pidge I know fighting in a giant robot is cool, but I don't think it's good to WANT to fight lotor every time you visit a new planet the implications are implicating

honestly I totally forgot they came to planet Yadyl already, but it's nice to see SOME consistency in the show for once

why is it always children who recognize something is wrong, like I get that nobody would see that the robeast this time is a voltron dupe but why is it only the kid who's like "hmmm why does voltron have an escort with him??"

i think my gif this time around will be of the kid weirdly digging in the sand to leave voltron an early warning LMAO

I know the team is forming voltron to go to yadyl and properly celebrate with them, but it's still wild to see that voltron comes out even when there's no emergency

this other kid KNOWS it should be the governor who's answering the transmission from voltron, did he assume that someone else answered for him or is lotors impression of the guy just THAT good

team - sees people staring at voltron in fear keith: no people- HEY THERE'S AN ARMED ROBOT, THE SOS WAS RIGHT, EYE BEAM AND THEN HE PROCEEDS TO BLOW UP THE ENTIRE TOWN WHEN THERE LITERALLY WERE CIVILIANS how is the team not getting more bad will from some other planets like how hard is it to have a planet go rogue on them for not thinking their actions through

lotor why are you running INTO THE EXPLODING TURRETS I'm on zarkon's side here, you should be dead dude

animation error, dupetrons leg went from blue to yellow after sand blew on it but then went back to blue in the next cut

the chest on dupetron just turned into the drule skull symbol, haggar really did make him goth LMAO

oh man this thing really is getting to voltron, we haven't seen the blazing sword formation get interrupted before

Keith how did you know the signals were getting picked up, i can't just feed into the belief that this man is some tactical genius without some SUBSTANCE

its just some dude in dupetron,, also which they'd say that beforehand so i wouldnt assume it's a robeast and when it's really an overly complicated mech

WHY DO THEY KEEP SAYING RED LION IS HUNK, LANCE PILOTS RED LION ASSHOLES KNOW YOUR GODDAMN BASICS MY GOODNESS also who knew that voltron could detach his arms and then the arms can act as their own units WHILE STILL BEING ABLE TO FORM BLAZING SWORD, insanity

i changed my mind i know what i want to be the cover gif for this episode sidnvois

/episode end

#voltron #voltron dotu #voltron defender of the universe #80s voltron #let's rewind! #toast talks #second episode brought to you by my cat chewing on my cables #hes such a fatass lmao

[motherjoel]

hostile (spencer reid x fem!reader)

summary: after months of trying to get pregnant and a miscarriage, you finally succeed. will you get the chance to tell spencer this time?

a/n: this is my first oneshot in a veryyyy long time so im sorry if im a little rusty! trying to get back into it :) also i know very little about pregnancy so forgive me! (i got the hostile uterus part from greys anatomy lmao)

wc: 2.3k

warnings/includes: lotsa fluff, angst if you squint, criminal minds stuff, pregnancy, miscarriage

-

“Spence, were you even listening in there? I have a hostile uterus. Not only am I feeling incredibly hostile right now, but my uterus?” you yelled as Spencer guided you to your car.

“All I’m suggesting is that we keep trying, Y/N. And I’ve already done plenty of research on adoption and surrogacy, did you know that 140,000 children are adopted by American families each year?” he asked, opening the passengers side door for you and running around to hop in the driver's seat. “And there's always in vitro fertilization,” he suggested as he reached to shut his door and start the car. 

“Of course you wanna keep trying Spence, all you have to do is stick it in and thrust,” you huffed as he winced at your harsh wording, grabbing your hand over the center console. “I’m the one taking hormone shots in my ass and drinking less than 5 cups of coffee a day,” you complained about your attempts at increasing fertility. “Who knew a miscarriage would be the thing to get me to cut down on caffeine.”

Spencer was silent as he drove back to your shared apartment, both of your minds on your struggles to get pregnant in the past year. You thought back to your miscarriage and the impact it had on you both- it had only been a few months since you and Spencer became official. It was new, and this pregnancy was unplanned to say the least. Not telling Spencer about it was the only solution you could think of at the time- until it was too late. 

You remembered the feeling in your chest, your entire body running cold after being tackled by an unsub. You hadn’t told anyone of your pregnancy, not even Spencer, but as the blood ran down your legs it was pretty clear what had just happened. Derek dragged the unsub away in handcuffs as you sat in the open back of the ambulance, a paramedic wrapping your wrist. You barely remembered JJ’s look of pity or Rossi’s concerned gaze. The only thing you remembered was the pale face of your boyfriend as you had been lying on the ground moments before trying to hide the blood. He eventually made his way over to sit next to you after a few minutes of stunned silence.

“Hey, Spence,” you whispered as he sat next to you, the paramedic finishing up and walking away.

“How long?” He looked at your stomach, fidgeting with his hands in his lap.

“Three, um, three months,” you fiddled with the bandage on your wrist.

“And you didn’t… you didn’t think to tell me?” he asked, eyes welling up as he finally made eye contact.

“I’m so sorry Spencer, I just, we never talked about kids before and we haven’t been together for too long… I just needed time. To think.”

He nodded and swallowed thickly before softy taking your hand in his, running his finger over the fabric of your bandage.

“You never have to hide something like this from me, y/n. We’re in this together and... not to be um, too forward, but I love you,” he confessed. You knew you loved him, but neither of you had dared say it. “I love you now and I always will, so you can trust me with this kind of thing.”

Since that day, the two of you had only gotten closer. Now, a year into your marriage, you were actively trying. And after months of trying to no avail, a trip to the obstetrician was called for- the obstetrician who called your uterus hostile, which was likely the reason for your first miscarriage. You could barely fall asleep for a few weeks after your obstetrician appointment, which made this early morning case call all the more difficult. The two of you dragged yourselves out of bed and began your morning routine of getting dressed and making coffee, moving in sync with each other as you prepared for the day. It was a quick drive into the office and before you knew it you were sitting in a room full of your coworkers looking at pictures of human remains. 

“Four men killed in Ohio in the past month, each left with a note written in the same handwriting,” Penelope says as you all look at the case file. You normally had an iron stomach- in the BAU, queasiness wasn’t an option. But for the first time in your career, your face turned green at the pictures of dead bodies.

“It says here that they are all men in long-term relationships?” Emily asks.

“Correction: Were in long-term relationships. Right before they died, it was reported that they left their girlfriends,” Garcia explained.

“That’s important for the victimology, but there has to be something more to set off the unsub,” Spencer commented.

“Yeah, I bet that there was a common reason for them leaving,” you suggested, closing the case file and averting your gaze from the pictures.

“We’ll discuss more on the jet. Wheels up in twenty,” said Hotch.

You all gathered your things and began to leave for the jet, Spencer walking in stride with you.

“You know what, Spence, I’m actually gonna run across the street and grab some tampons before we go, I think i'm gonna need em,” you said. “Go on ahead without me.”

“Are you sure? I can just come with you,” he offered.

“No, no, go brainstorm with the team. I’ll be right there,” you smiled at him as you parted ways. You were going to the convenience store across the street, but it wasn’t for tampons. Your stomach fluttered as the bell jingled at the entrance. The aisle for pregnancy tests was easy to find, and you were on the jet five minutes later.

“Hey, did you find the, um…” Spencer trailed off as you sat down next to him on the jet. He wasn’t one of those men who got weird about menstruation, but you knew he was avoiding the word “tampon” to save you any embarrassment .

“Yup, I’m good,” you smiled and focused on the team who had now gathered around to further discuss the case.

“So, is there any link between the men yet? There has to be a reason that they were all killed soon after leaving their girlfriends,” JJ mused. You thought back to your past fears and your current situation and something suddenly clicked in your brain.

“Wait…” you picked up the case file. “What if… what if they were pregnant?” you asked, looking up to see furrowed brows. “I mean, the handwriting is feminine, so maybe the unsub is a woman who’s getting revenge on men leaving their pregnant girlfriends?” you concluded.

“I’ll call Garcia. We land in 30, keep looking over the files,” Hotch said before you all sat back down in your respective seats, the outside of your thigh pressed against Spencer’s.

You were trying to think of a good time to take the pregnancy test- you couldn’t do it on the jet, it would be really hard to hide on a plane full of profilers. You decided that the best time to take it would be back at the hotel, but after working for hours you found it hard to focus with the pregnancy test in your bag. Excusing yourself to the bathroom in the local precinct, you snuck the test with you. You locked the door behind you and took the test, trying to control your breathing as you waited for the results. As you waited, you got a text from Morgan telling you that there was new information. The moment you finished reading his text, your alarm beeped. Taking a deep breath, you dared a glance at the stick. With shaky hands, you picked up the test and bit your lip to hold back your yelp of joy at the tiny little +. Shoving the test into your bag, you rushed back to the rest of the team to continue working on the case. You would tell Spencer this time, but you decided it would be best to catch a serial killer first.

Garcia confirmed through the phone that all of the girlfriends were pregnant and shared the same obstetrician who was a single mother with a young child. This seemed to be the perfect profile for an unsub killing men who walked out on their families, but something seemed off to you. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but something was bugging you about the case. You were on the way to Shelby Meyerson’s, the obstetricians house, with Morgan and Spencer when Garcia called.

“Whats up baby girl,” Morgan answered, one hand on the wheel.

“So I’ve been doing some digging and it turns out that Shelby actually has a boyfriend, Andrew. Recent social media posts show that they started dating a little over a month ago, and it looks like Andrew grew up without a father” she said.

“Right before the killings started,” you looked at Spencer from the back seat.

“Garcia, send his address,” Spencer spoke into the speaker.

“Already on it my loves,” Garcia replied, and you could hear the clacking of her keyboard as she hit send. You looked at the address in your phone.

“Morgan, that's right down the street from where we are right now,” you pointed out. The three of you didn’t waste any time getting there. You hopped out of the car and approached the door, hand instinctively resting on your gun.

“FBI, open up,” you said, rapping on the door. You waited for a moment, but when nobody answered, Derek took matters into his own hands. Within seconds, the door had been kicked down and the three of you spread out around the house, Morgan going upstairs and Spencer going into the basement as you canvassed the ground floor. You took notice of a cup of tea on a coffee table, still warm. Once you cleared the area, you made your way into the basement, gun drawn. Your heart dropped at the sight before you- a man you recognized as missing tied to the radiator in the corner of the room, and your unsub restraining your husband with a gun to his head. You kept your gun pointed at the unsub as you heard Morgan come down the stairs behind you.

“Don’t move!” The unsub, Andrew, yelled. You raised your hands when he pointed his gun at you, dropping your weapon to gain trust.

“Andrew, there’s no way to get out of this, just let him go so we can talk,” you tried to soothe him, his grip on Spencer only tightening.

“No, no, you don’t understand. These men deserve to die for leaving their children, they-they’re terrible people, I’m giving them what they deserve,” he argued, becoming frantic.

“Andrew, if you hurt that agent, you’re just as bad as the men you kill,” you began, taking small steps toward Spencer. “He’s my husband and…” you started, locking eyes with Spencer. “And I’m pregnant with his child,” you confessed. Spencer's eyes went wide, shock overtaking the previous expression of fear. You continued to speak. “If you kill him, you make him leave his child. I know you don’t want that, I know you don’t want someone else to go through what you went through,” you bargained. Thankfully, you seemed to get through to him, as he dropped his gun and collapsed to the ground, his grip on Spencer loosening as Derek moved in to cuff him.

You immediately ran to your husband, throwing your arms around his midsection as he wrapped himself around you, kissing the top of your head and whispering reassurances to you. 

“I was so scared,” you said into his chest, your voice muffled by his kevlar vest. He put his hands on the side of your face and wiped your stray tears, his own falling as he started to smile.

“Were you serious? Are… are we pregnant?” he asked, his hopeful smile spreading wide as ever. You bit your lip and nodded, squealing with joy as he picked you up and twirled you around, not even noticing the rest of the BAU had arrived at the scene.

“Hey, be careful with Y/N! She’s carrying my god child,” Derek smirked as Spencer set you down, his arms still wrapped around your waist. 

“Hold on, why does Morgan get to be the godfather?” Rossi questioned, putting on a mock italian accent, making you all laugh.

“That’s not important, what's important is that we're gonna have a baby genius running around,” JJ smiled as she walked over to hug you both, which turned into a group hug between the entire BAU. You all broke up the hug when Morgan's phone began to ring.

“Yes, baby girl everyone's safe. Actually… Pretty boy and pretty girl have some big news,” he said, putting Garcia on speaker.

“What! Tell me right now, I can't handle this!” she begged. You and Spencer smiled at each other before you began to speak.

“You’re gonna be an aunt,” you said excitedly, receiving the loudest gasp through the phone.

“You mean… you… Spencer… you guys… oh my GOD!” she began to ramble about her excitement as you all laughed, Derek taking the phone off speaker to calm her down.

“Our kid is gonna be so loved,” you smiled, grabbing his hands and standing on your toes to press a kiss on his cheek.

“We got really lucky,” he blushed, pulling you back into another hug, the world around you frozen in that moment.

-

just ask if you wanna be on my taglist! <3

taglist: @rigatonireid​,  @aworldoffandoms, @moonshinerbynight, @averyhotchner, @s1utformgg

#spencer reid #Criminal Minds Spencer Reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #Spencer Reid/OC #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid/reader #spencer reid/you #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #Criminal Minds Reid

[takahero]

in honour of finishing inkspell, here are some basta observations I picked up along the way. also, inkspell spoilers warning! i also have MANY MANY thoughts so i’d love to hear what you guys think to some of the questions raised

“He hadn’t changed: the same thin face, the same way of narrowing his eyes, and there was an amulet dangling around his neck to ward off the bad luck that Basta thought lurked under every ladder, behind every bush.” — pg.138

“Basta’s left hand was bandaged, Elinor noticed when he took his fingers away from her mouth.” — pg.139

“‘I’d have been here much sooner, believe you me, but they put me in jail for a while on account of something that happened years ago. No sooner was Capricorn gone than all the people who’d been too scared to open their mouths suddenly felt very brave.’” — pg.140 (see they never tell us WHY he was in prison, do they? the possibilities are endless. we know he committed atrocious things, like arson, but imagine if he got put in jail for something completely different…LOL)

“‘You wouldn’t believe how often I’ve told him there’s nothing to be ashamed of in going to jail, particularly when your prisons here are so much more comfortable than our dungeons at home.’” — pg.140 (OHHHTMGOD MEME IDEA)

“Basta flung his arm so roughly round Orpheus’ neck that his glasses slipped down his nose.” — pg.141

“‘Hold your tongue, Basta!’ Mortola interrupted him abruptly. ‘You’ve always liked the sound of your own voice.’” — pg.141

“‘Well, Silvertongue, I’m sorry it’s taken some time,’ he said in his soft, cat-like voice.” — pg.180

“‘My son always said revenge was a dish best eaten cold,’ observed Mortola.” — pg.181 (question. did basta find out about mortola’s true identity between inkheart & inkspell? do u think he realised it when mortola cried when capricorn died?)

“Basta passed a finger over his throat and winked at him.” — pg.186 (wink 2 LMAO)

“Basta bent down and picked up a rusty helmet lying at his feet. ‘What do you expect me to say?’ he growled, throwing the helmet back into the grass with a gloomy expression, and giving it a kick that sent it clattering against the wall. ‘Of course it’s our castle. Didn’t you see the figure of the goat on the wall there? Even the carved devils are still standing, though they wear ivy crowns now — and look, there’s one of the eyes that Slasher liked to paint on the stones.’” — pg.190

“‘So Basta was right after all. He’s dead, here and in the other world too.’” — pg.191 (interesting….so Basta knew Mortola’s plan wouldn’t work? he just wanted a ride home?)

“‘I’d really like to know what happened!’ he muttered. ‘I always said Capricorn wasn’t here, but what about the others?…What are we going to do if they’re all gone?’ Basta sounded like a boy afraid of the dark. ‘Do you want us to live in a cave like brownies until the wolves find us? Have you forgotten the wolves? And the Night-Mares, the fire-elves, all the other creatures crawling around the place…I for one haven’t forgotten them, but you would come back to this accursed spot where there are ghosts lurking behind every tree!’ He reached for the amulet dangling around his neck, but Mortola did not deign to look at him.

“‘Oh, be quiet!’ she said, so sharply that Basta flinched.” — pg.192

“‘You’re going to leave them here?’ That was Basta’s voice.” — pg.193 (at first I was like oh so he has a heart….but then he was mean to resa straight after this 🙄)

“‘Sorry, but he must have overlooked me, shut up in that cage as I was,’ purred Basta in his catlike voice.” — pg.377

“‘Wasn’t it Mortola who had you put in the cage to be fed to the Shadow?’ Basta just shrugged his shoulders and flung back his silver-grey cloak. Of course, he had his knife. A brand new one, it seemed, finer than any he’d ever had in the other world, and undoubtedly just as sharp.

“‘Yes, not very nice of her,’ he said as his fingers caressed the handle of the knife. ‘But she’s really sorry.’” — pg.377 (okay so it SOUNDS like he threatened/made some kind of bargain with his knife, but I strongly doubt that considering how afraid he seems of her?? i know he’s technically working for the adderhead but even by the end of the book, it seems he is far closer to mortola than adderhead. what is their relationship? or does he sincerely think she’s sorry/has deluded himself into believing such? UGH SO MANY QUESTIONS)

“Basta had always liked describing his own and other people’s abominable deeds in detail.” — pg.378

“‘But we’re not going to shoot you.’ Basta came a little closer to Fenoglio, his face as intent as that of a stalking cat.” — pg.378 …. living for all the cat references tbh

“‘He wants you to crawl on your belly to him, that’s what our noble lord and master likes. But never mind, he pays well!’” — pg.378 (yes basta all abt getting that bread LMAOOOO)

“He slowly drew the knife from his belt. Its blade was long and slightly curved.” — pg.379

“‘Hey Basta, I know you like the sound of your own voice.’” — pg.379 (AHAHAHAHA HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE CALLED OUT BASTA ON THIS NOW? IVE LOST TRACK)

“With a regretful sigh, Basta put the knife back in his belt. ‘Yes, very well, you’re right,’ he said in surly tones. ‘I need to take my time with this sort of thing. Questioning people is an art, a real art.’” — pg.380 (LMAOOOOOOO HE IS SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN)

“Basta. The same thin face, the same twisted smile. Only the clothes were different. Basta was no longer wearing his white shirt and black suit with the flower in his buttonhole. No, Basta now wore the Adderhead’s silvery grey, and he had a sword at his side. With a knife in his belt too, of course. But he was holding a dead chicken in his left hand.” — pg. 455

“‘Yes, they are!’ purred Basta. ‘The little witch, and the fire-eater into the bargain. It was well worth the wait. Even though I’ll probably never get that damned flour out of my lungs again.’” — pg.455 (ok….so who’s gonna draw basta sitting amongst the flour AAHHAHA)

“‘Servant? Who’s a servant here? Just listen to him. As bold as if he’d never felt my knife! Have you forgotten how you screamed when it cut your face?’” — pg.457 … don’t call basta a servant…..noted

“‘Oh, don’t look so disbelieving, little witch, I still can’t read and I don’t intend to learn, but there are enough fools around the place who can, even in this world.’” —pg. 457 (i wonder how much capricorn influenced basta’s views on reading. because capricorn said that he learnt how to read from a maid, right? so basta certainly wouldn’t have trash-talked reading in front of him. and even after living in OUR world for nine years, I’m still surprised that he never attempted to learn, given how dependent we are on it. anyway my headcanon is that he secretly wants to, but doesn’t want to give others the satisfaction of knowing they have something he doesn’t. also nobody he knows would be willing to teach him (unless he threatened them) bc of his obviously violent and short-tempered nature…and learning requires so much patience. still, though, would love a fic of basta being taught how to read in secret and having some kind of positive interaction)

“‘You’re even more talkative than you used to be, Basta.’ Dustfinger’s voice sounded as if he found this tedious.” — pg.458 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH IM DYING. honestly the animosity between them was just. A+++

“Basta was in an even worse state. He was sitting close to Mortola, his face so red and swollen that Meggie almost failed to recognise him. But he had escaped death once again. Perhaps the good-luck charms he always wore worked after all.” — pg.526

“The sunlight falling into the room made Basta’s face look like a boiled lobster.” — pg.575 

“Basta put his hand to the amulet hanging around his neck. It was not a rabbit’s paw, as he had worn in Capricorn’s service, but something that looked suspiciously like a human finger-bone.” — pg.581 (THIS STILL IRKS ME SO MUCH)

“The Piper straightened his back, as ready to attack as the viper on his master’s coat of arms…He was a good head taller than Basta.” — pg.582 WHY DO I KEEP FORGETTING HES NOT TALL LMFAO

“The two men were standing so close that the blade of Basta’s knife wouldn’t have fitted between them.” — pg.582 HAHAHAJAHAAJAHAHHAAHAHAHAH PKESJENE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH … IMAGINE BASTA SQUARING UP W HIS NOSE JUST SMACK BANG IN THE MIDDLE OF PIPER’S CHEST OR SOMETHING

“The Piper struck Basta in the face so hard that his head hit the door frame. Blood ran down his burned cheek in a trail of red. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. ‘Take care to avoid dark corridors, Piper!’ he whispered. ‘You don’t have a nose any more, but one can always find something else to cut off.’” — pg.582-583 THIS SCENE WAS SIMPLY……CHEF’S KISS

are you serious is he dead??? WHAT. okay I knew dustfinger’s love for farid would be the end of him and basta being the instrument to rip that away from him was totally heartrending. i WISH it had been more climactic? like dustfinger unleashing his fury and fighting basta, blind with anger and grief. THE DIALOGUE POTENTIAL BETWEEN THEM AS THEY FINALLY TALK ONE-ON-ONE, and then some revisiting of the scene where dustfinger has the opportunity to kill basta but AGAIN withholds because killing is not in his nature….THEN MO IN SHINING ARMOUR SWOOPS IN TO DO THE JOB

now, off to inkdeath!

#inkspell #inkspell spoilers #basta #inkheart trilogy #BASTAAAAAA

[sspiderj]

HAHA I TOLD YOU ID SEND A MATCHUP REQUEST FOR TURNING RED IN AND I AM!!

𝐈. 𝑨𝑷𝑷𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑬 + 𝑰𝑴𝑷𝑶𝑹𝑻𝑨𝑵𝑻 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑭𝑭 (APPEARANCE + IMPORTANT STUFF)

i am non-binary and dont mind any pronouns but i prefer they/them a lot more! im pansexual (but have a strong leaning towards women but also men and sisgshshahshhwhd everyones so hot)

i am fully filipino and the languages i know are spanish, english, and tagalog! though, im a little rusty on tagalog (or talking in general because.. words are hard)

i have short black fluffy/really messy hair, dark brown hooded eyes. i'd say im pretty average and a bit too underweight for my age. im 5'6" and weigh.. something im uncomfortable with sharing to a bunch of strangers on the internet. i also usually dress in layered clothes or baggy clothes since i feel comfy that way!

my style is a mix of grunge, dark academia, and cottagecore!! i literally look like i popped out of a pinterest pin LMAO

𝐈𝐈. 𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀 (PERSONALITY)

im an intp-t and ambiverted!! my personality overall is sarcastic, funny (or at least i try to be-) , chaotic, usually having bursts of energy, talkative, a bit petty, moody, and i have a bit of anger issues, and some people describe me as a pushover :(

i usually destroy things when i get mad (rip my laptop) and lash out at other people as well, which is pretty bad.

i have mood swings very frequently and im very very stubborn

im very fidgety and use a lot of hand gestures. with how much i play with my hair you'd think it wasnt tangled (spoiler alert: it is lol) , i also bite my nails a lot

i also stumble over my words a lot

i usually burst into song or have random bursts of energy at the worst times, and have a horrible sleep schedule

i also get distracted easily, have trouble remembering things, and have trouble with deadlines lmao

due to my horrible memory, i usually miss meals or forget important things like my laundry or cleaning my room. i always say ill make a list to check every morning, but i dont.

(also a funny way i like to describe my horrible memory is that every time i wake up its like the morning after getting dr3n1k cause the night before is a total blur)

i like a lot of things! but mainly drawing, flowers, watching movies, making jokes (theyre more sarcastic or sexual in a way- kind of like kenny mccormick or chandler bing-) , doing my eyeliner , games, skittles, dying and cutting my hair, styling outfits, painting, and talking with my friends!!

i like greek mythology, making theories, and psychology!

my hobbies are gaming, art (in general), making little theories, and singing! i would add dancing but im not very good at that lol

𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝑹𝑬𝑳𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑫 (love related)

my primary love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service!

𝐈𝐕. 𝑺𝑪𝑯𝑶𝑶𝑳 𝑹𝑬𝑳𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑫 (school related)

i try my best to get good grades in school, but i usually get a C or a B, maths and AP (araling panlipunan, its to learn filipino history) are the ones where i fail the most

𝐕. 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑳𝑻𝑯 (health)

i have a hard time taking care of myself and pass out a lot from lack of iron in my body (which i joke about a lot)

to add to this ^^ i also joke about bad things that happen to me which nobody laughs at except me

okie it’s done, but imma post it on my other account :)

[dogtheories]

I remember u saying you mostly read comics and I was wondering if u have any good comic recs? Or anything in particular you’ve really enjoyed (story or art wise)? :>

oohhhh yes yes yes (disclaimer i havent like read anything for a fucking year because school and graduation hyperfixation but this is the shit i have on my bookshelf anyway)

-this isnt a comic its manga but 20th Century Boys by Naoki Urasawa is probably my favourite manga ive ever read, its really long and convoluted and confusing but i love the story and the characters and Urasawa’s art is perfect for it bc its realistic but just stylised enough and his character design is so good you can tell all the characters apart while believing theyre just normal people honestly this manga is so good i could go on about it for ages. theres a song that plays a big part in the story and it actually exists the mangaka recorded it himself and its such a good song okay enough about that one gskjfngdk

-anything by Chris Ware tbh im still in the middle of reading Rusty Brown but Lint is a good start even tho its technically part of the middle of Rusty Brown idk i just love his art because its so simplistic and small and every page hurts my eyes to read because its so small but the concurrent timelines running through pages on different panels and the unconventional panelling he uses is so cool

-anything by Ben Passmore!! ive only read a little of Daygloayhole but i like the way he draws he uses a limited palette but it really pops and everything is so detailed yet so clear 

-i like the way John Allison writes and i really like Giant Days for the writing and the art i love all of the characters theyre so fun. i have nothing much else to say about Giant Days but it makes me laugh a lot and i think i subconsciously took a lot from how Max Sarin especially draws? the way they draw mouths rubbed off on me i think. also one of the main characters is canonically mixed-race and a lesbian if thats anything 

-i really like Transmetropolitan. admittedly its pretty old and might have some iffy shit in there and it doesnt even LOOK that appealing visually but i just fucking love Warren Ellis’s writing style so much that i even read his actual novels lol. he also wrote some marvel shit i think? it was like a reboot of some old characters that nobody gave a shit about and it was so fucking funny i just love the wit he writes with idk 

-i like Adrien Tomine a lot. his art is very calm and sterile idk its just nice to look at 

-also in terms of writers that are probably problematic i love Brian K. Vaughn sigh i think Saga is really really good. is it still on hiatus idk. anyway Saga fucks mainly bc i like the tv heads but in terms of Vaughns writing i like Y: The Last Man more although that ones probably also Deemed Problematic idk its been a while since i last read it but like. the dudes got a monkey and i think thats pretty cool 

-i also have Moonstruck on my bookshelf i dont remember who wrote/drew it and im not getting up to check but thats pretty cool theres a bunch of monsters and shit in it and they work in a coffee shop. theres a nonbinary centaur and the werewolves are gay and hardly anyone is white idk it seems like something youd get into probably kAJNSFAJKFNDSJKFDS

-theres a million other things ive read that im forgetting because i dont own a lot of books and i used to just get shit through the library but thats a rundown of what i own mostly lmao

#oh also beasts of burden is a good one i have as well. the art in it holy moly every panel is like actually Painted #its literally just a supernatural mystery but the main characters are dogs. #long post #anyway thanks for letting me infodump lmao #soda.exe

[angel-deux-writes]

I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this On Here, but I really want to tell the story of the guy who put in my kitchen floors because it was terrifying

im putting it under a cut bc it’s probably not that long, but who knows.

(scrolled back up after i actually wrote it to confirm that it is in fact long)

Some backstory is that I was INCREDIBLY lucky and got my condo very cheap in a neighborhood I already knew I loved. The other unit I’d looked at was a full 30k over my budget, but this one was perfect because the owner hadn’t updated ANYTHING since it was built in 1985, so it was just...awful. Awful rugs, awful floors, awful walls. My dad is like...the dad who loves a project, so he was all “I can fix all of this except the floors!!! it’ll be great!!”, so I bought it. We hired a local company to do the floors, not wanting to go to Home Depot or whatever (Which i still support in theory, just......not this company lmao). Everything except the kitchen and bathroom was originally carpet. Hallways, stairs, every single room. And it was cheap industrial carpet, too. Like the kind in office buildings. The dude who did the carpet was like “what the fuck were they thinking???” 

Also, one of the carpets had a truly upsetting rusty stain, so. My guest bedroom might be haunted. 

Anyway, the carpet guy was great. He was the owner of the company, and he was older and very kind. I had my mom come over with me when he was doing the carpets, but I didn’t even need her there. He was cool. His son was in charge of the hardwood portion (I say “hardwood”. I mean, like, the cheapest laminate while still looking nice lmao). He was less great. He had a team of like 3 dudes and 1 lady who would show up and work, doing my office/dining room and upstairs hallway. I know carpet is easier, but the carpet guy took one day, and these guys took a week and a half. They messed up a few times, and it was kind of stressful, but overall it was okay. They had to redo all the subfloors, because condos built in 1985 were almost universally built in buckwild, impossible-to-explain ways, so it took forever. The hardwood guys were loud as hell, but they were nice! 

At one point, one of the nicest guys accidentally broke a few of my kitchen tiles while putting in the transition from the wood to the tile. I was cool with it, tbh, but he offered a discount on a new kitchen floor because, shocker, the subfloor under the broken tile was really jacked up, and it wouldn’t be as simple as taking a tile from under the fridge and replacing it. I was like, okay, cool! We set it up. 

I did not hear from them for four months. Which, I get it. It was a discounted job, so obviously they wanted to do full-price jobs first. I have no problem with that. The same hardwood guys came back to do the subfloor, and then they were like “okay [the owner’s son] will contact you about the tiles. That took about a week. Finally, I got a date. It was a Friday, a day when my sister was already working from home, so she was like “yeah, I can handle it.” She works in interior design, so she’s used to dealing with construction people, and she was REALLY useful when it came to talking down the son of the owner, who was like...every bad stereotype about contractors meshed with a used car salesman. 

So I’m at work the day the tiling is supposed happen. My sister is fine at first, texting me about how the son showed up with one single guy, and then left, so it was only the single guy working. She was annoyed like “it’s supposed to take one day, right? That’s what they said? There’s no way he’s finishing at this pace. Why are they making this guy do the whole thing by himself?”. She called him “nice, kind of cute, but a very slow worker”. I was like ‘well, if they have to come back tomorrow, whatever, that’s fine’.”

Around 10:30 she starts texting me increasingly insane shit. 

“He’s talking to himself downstairs? Maybe he’s on the phone”. 

“He keeps dropping stuff and yelling SHIT really loudly.”

“Someone just showed up with a bag, and he let them in, and they chatted in the kitchen for like ten minutes, and then the person left, and they didn’t take the bag with them”. 

“He’s standing outside using the tile cutter and SCREAMING whenever it’s on.”

“He’s out in the rain and shout-singing something while he’s cutting tile”

“He is BARKING LIKE A DOG TO THE TUNE OF THE RUGRATS THEME SONG CAN YOU PLEASE COME HOME”

I’m half convinced she’s making this shit up, but she’s uncomfortable so I tell my boss what’s going on and race home. When I get there, there’s a vaguely adam driver looking guy who seems nice enough. A little startled to see me, but we make pleasant conversation, I see that he’s not very far along, and then I go upstairs to see my sister. I brought her takeout as a treat, and we sit there for a while talking about normal things. Gradually, downstairs, the dude starts talking to himself. I’m thinking that’s still not THAT weird. Then he starts singing and clapping along. Okay, a BIT weird, but not terrible. I decide to go downstairs into the living room and play some Playstation. Like, maybe he thinks we can’t hear him upstairs and he’ll be more chill when i’m down there? NOPE! HE ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT! He does the barking thing again (and it is, in fact, the rugrats theme song), he’s working at a pace of about one tile per hour, and he starts singing a song that consists only of the word “bitch” over and over again. 

I’m texting my dad, freaking out, and he tries to get in contact with the owner or his son, but nobody’s answering the phone. My other sister and her friend are on their way for game night. My sister’s boyfriend should be home soon from work, but not soon enough. It is, at this point, 7 pm. There is absolutely no chance he’s getting these tiles done today. He’s not even halfway done. My kitchen is VERY SMALL, by the way, so this reasonably could have been done in a day with two people, but I suspect that because it was a discount job, we got the discount treatment. 

My other sister and her friend show up, and the guy is perfectly pleasant and normal to them. We all go upstairs into my sister’s room, and we sit there, waiting in silence for it to start again, hoping that maybe with more people in the house, he’ll be okay. 

NOPE! He starts singing the “bitch” song again. I distinctly remember my other sister whispering “I love this song” and pretending to groove, which was kind of funny but NOT THE TIME. I’m sitting on my sister’s bed clutching a camp axe like a maniac, because I’m like “we are going to be killed by this giant kylo ren asshole”. I’m still texting my dad, who’s like “if you need me to come over, I can, i’m out of work”, but at this point it’s almost 8 and I’m also thinking about my neighbors. Like, he can’t be here at night. He just can’t. He’s so loud even just doing regular tile things! 

I muster up LITERALLY EVERY IOTA OF COURAGE THAT I HAVE, and I head downstairs. I ask him when he’s planning on wrapping up, because I know there’s no way he’s going to finish tonight. He tells me it’ll probably take about two more hours. That is 1) absolutely not true and 2) not something I’m willing to deal with because I live in a condo with neighbors on either side of me, and one of my neighbors is a truck driver who gets up at like 4 am! So I explain that my friends and I have an obligation to get to, and I would love it if we could arrange for someone to continue the work tomorrow. He’s SUPER NICE ABOUT IT and is like “oh, okay, no problem!” He leaves. Just...walks into the rain. Leaves all his tools and his tile cutter. I move it inside because it was on my front porch and it is, again, raining. 

My sister, a Nancy Drew Game fiend, starts searching the entire downstairs and eventually finds the plastic bag that someone brought him. My other sister, who is a nurse in a hospital that primarily treats overdose patients, is like “yep, that’s drug residue for sure”. I’m like, okay, so he didn’t hurt any of us, and he was nice, just....high and weird. But it’s over now, so whatever. My dad says he’ll call the owner’s son the next day, and everything’s cool. He also says that he, my mom, and my brother will all come over to watch the football game at my house the next day just to be there (which...im less than thrilled about the football part, but sure). I also beg my friend to drive up from the Cape to pick up his hat that he left at my condo over the summer just so he can chill for a few hours in the morning. 

The next day, the same guy returns, with the owner’s son this time. The owner’s son is like “why did you only get this far along?” but otherwise doesn’t really say anything. The barking guy is TOTALLY FINE, totally polite. My friend lingers as long as he can, but there’s an ice storm coming, so he peaces out eventually. I’m alone for about an hour with the guy, and nothing happens. He’s quiet, even when the owner’s son peaces for a bit. My parents show up, we watch the football game, and nothing happens. I feel like A LUNATIC, because my dad is like “he seems fine now” and I’m like NO BUT YESTERDAY WAS TERRIFYING. 

Anyway, so that’s the story. I didn’t end up saying anything to the owner’s son, but my dad reamed him out a bit for sending only one person to do a job meant for two. And now every time I drive by that business I suppress a shudder, and sometimes the barking version of the Rugrats theme song still gets stuck in my head.

#genuinely it was so so scary but he never even did anything? he was just weird #and almost definitely high #the barking thing was almost funny? like it would have been funny if he wasn't in my house

[convxction]

perspicacicus replied to your post “// please watch dr.s.tone. thats the post. and swiggty swag throw...”

Chrom in a 999 verse tho

/ / i actually wrote something about this ages ago but i cant find the post sdfkjs 

but yes. rub hands hehe.

i can see that chro.m on ‘another ship(or another part of it)’ going through the same shit with some other participants and somehow manages to meet junpei and the others. or the experiment could happen somewhere else and chrom meets junpei at the campus and they go into the ‘omg you were kidnapped too? huh.’

chrom by default the rich boy who was kidnapped and being the stubborn boy he is, he will not go by any alias, it is just “Chrom” call me by my name gdi. he will preach about this is the first step to mistrust everyone but not trusting them with their names but nobody gives a fig about his heroic ideas ..high five to mister wannabe hero junpei lmao. 

basically, he is the muscle in the group and thanks to his luck he will get some puzzles figured out if he put his mind to it. expect the typical dumb jokes from him too. high five sigma and junpei. he is the glue that keeps everyone together because he will give dem support talk when needed. plus charisma skill activates. 

i think he will bond with snake first out of everyone because they are both big bros and he will understand snake’s motivations, then santa or junpei. seven is a good man and he will respect his insights. Lotus...is the scary lady he does not want to mess with. Because Chrom has this gut sense, he will sense something wrong with Ace but since he prefers to trust people until they give him a reason not to, he will not try anything against him but he would not prefer to team up or be in the same area as Ace alone, or let anyone alone with him. Clover chan is by default his little sister and he will help snake protect her. June...he can’t understand her. She looks fragile and all that but something screams not right so he will not interact with her that much unless junpei is a mediator. the 9th man probably dead before chrom meets him so welp lololol. 

What else?

do i talk about his endings? well, he is definitely dead in almost all of them. one by electricity (lol electricity..thunder magic haha~) for sure stabbed by someone because he is the dumb he will believe in others. die for someone. but he will never kill or harm anyone. (get his arm chopped ...hmhm definitely)

im rusty, it has been a long time since i played the game haha. what do you think????

#perspicacicus #⚔ooc.⚔ (faty speaks) #zero escape verse tag pending

[maycontainwarriorssalt]

Au where rusty joins windclan instead of thunderclan

i would totally do art for this because i it sounds cool but how different would he really look lmao

and i cant be bothered to draw firestar

the first thing i thought of was firepaw becoming leader of windclan at some point. maybe seeing jakes son so often reminded tallstar of his old mate so much that eventually he gave eight lives to fireheart and lived the rest of his natural life with jake? dunno.

maybe tallstar goes to jake at some point and goes “my clan got kicked out My Guy but i cant leave now i need help” so jake goes “okay ill tell my son to get off his ass” and firepaw is sent there? he lives there and then greypaw is sent there by bluestar and by then they can get their territory back and stuff 

what i thought was more interesting was what would happen to thunderclan if firepaw never joined?

spottedleaf never sees an omen (the windclan med cat does though) and bluestar continues to stress about her small clan

ravenpaw is sent to the barn by just graypaw

eventually tigerclaw betrays her like usual but wuh oh nobody saves her

tigerclaw gets to be leader of thunderclan and fireheart by this point is like “hang on no fuck that”

he knows something is up but he never learned about what Actually happened to oakheart (he heard tigerclaw lying about it at a gathering and went “that sounds sketchy) so he goes to riverclan to ask about the body

yeah, tigerclaw murdered redtails ass. “probably bluestar too” fireheart thinks.

“yo med cat let me talk to bluestar”

“okay i guess”

he talks to redtail and bluestar who both tell him shits fucked with thunderclan (also yellowfang sacrifices herself saving bramblekit when that Shit happens)

so he tells all at the gathering and tigerstar accuses him of lying, but the med cat backs him up

this starts a fight, and tigerstar is thrown off highrock in the scuffle

he is injured to the point where he cant be leader anymore because its too hard for him to move around

he wants darkstripe to be leader but the clan outvotes him and starclan lets them choose whitestorm(?) as leader

tigerstar spends his days in the med cat den. cinderpelt got hurt because of him and is a med cat now so she slows his recovery on purpose.at some point yellowfang visits her, tells her about what she did to brokenstar, and cinderpelt goes ‘lmao sounds like a plan’ and does it to tigerstar

so fireheart becomes leader at some point because of all hes done for windclan

thats all i can think of sorry im not super familiar with the first series

#windclan firestar au #not a cat #au

[finnlet]

Sans the skeleton went into a coffee shop on September 13th, 2019. He came in for a americano because it was one of the few things that warmed his cold heart. He took it black and added nothing special to it. He loved bitterness.

Then, he saw him. Kokichi Ouma. The Ultimate Supreme Leader. He felt something in his bones, an aching sensation to go meet him. He went to the barista and read his nametag.

"Hey.... Komaeda. give me a freakin' americano! no sugar, no creamer, just make it black and venti. thanks."

"um. ok. i'll get it going for you... sans"

"whatever."

Sans and Komaeda had been a couple back in 2015 but they broke up due to Komaeda cheating on him with another man named Hajime.

========

"S-SANS? IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. H-HE... UM..." komaeda screamed

"OH BUDDY YOu'RE SET TO HAVE A BAD TIME NOW. PREPARE YOURSELF" sans shouted.

sans threw a lamp at hajime, who ran out screaming and crying. komaeda moved out of sans' house and went to move in with hajime. oh well.

========

Sans went over to the little purple haired man who was sitting on his macbook writing an email.

"Hey... you look kinda cute. Wanna get sansy?" sans asked.

"what the fuck lol. are you cursed. im going to send a picture of u to korekiyo lmao. maybe he knows whats happening" ouma said, taking out his phone

"wha.... what the hell are you talking about" sans asked

"korekiyo knows about weird shit so he'd probably know what you are you cursed halloween decoration"

*snap*

ouma mumbled as he typed: "hey... dude .... look at this... weird shit at starbucks"

"Im not a decoration, i'm a skeleton." sans said.

"oh. So do skeletons have dicks."

"I can show you if you come back to my place later." sans said WITH A SMIRK.

"...I think i'll take you up on your offer. i've always been curious about what happens when all the flesh falls off  lol. TIME TO SEE SKELTON DIK." ouma shouted.

the other patrons of starbucks turned and looked at him.

saihara, who was hanging out with kaede, kaito, maki, kiibo, and korekiyo, ran over.

"Ouma shut the fuck up you're so loud and annoying." saihara said

"ok" ouma said

"hey who the hell are you. im trying to hook up with this dude and you're here yelling at him" sans growled. he was rumbling like a machine. his eye went blue.

"well if you really want to know I'm... Shuichi Saihara. They call me the Ultimate Detective, but... lol. you know, you give off the same awful aura that ouma gives me. two peas in a pod i guess" saihara said, eyeing sans.

*snapchat noficiation sound*

"...korekiyo is right there but he sent me a fucking snapchat message back. what a creep." ouma sighed. opening it, he huffed a HUGE GROAN.

"are you even a real fucking anthropologist? why do you know the history of farming but not skeletons." ouma shouted across the restaurant.

"BE QIET SIMPLETON." maki shouted back angrily. she was beyond pissed off.

“Har har har!” ouma laughed heartily.

“SANS? WILL YOU PLEEEEEASE PICK UP YOUR COFFEE. IT’S BEEN DONE FOR LIKE, 10 MINUTES NOW.” komaeda shouted through the microphone.

“Fucking hell ok” sans said, walking off. He picked it up and walked back over towards Ouma.

“That guys my ex. Hes kind of weird isnt he :) i threw a lamp at his boyfriend when they tried to cuck me. LOL” sans chortled. He sounded like a wind chime when he laughed.

“Komaeda is cool, he gives me free milk and cheese samples since I told him i’m an orphan from tokyo. What a fucking idit he is for believing me am i right?! i have my macbook pro and my iphone x AND MY AIRPODS, plus my ipad pro and these cool yeezys.” ouma laughed. he was so fucking sneaky.

“what do you use the ipad for if you already have a macbook” sans asked. he had nothing but an iphone x and some air jordans :/”

“I use that to watch family guy, WHA TTH EFUCK DO YOU THINK? Do you think i don’t like the best program of our time? I love seeing Peter Griffin appear on my screen. he fills me with lust. Dare say you that you…. dislike family guy?” ouma went on monologuing.

“n-no i didnt say i hated family guy i just-”

“ANDDD YOU’RE JUST LIKE KIBOY! HAR HAR HAR! He hates family guy! He can’t stand it. nobody at that noob table likes it. the only people who like family guy at my school are me, ryoma, angie, and himiko. Tenko watches it but only because she has a crush on lois. lol” ouma sighed.

the starbucks went quiet aside from the sipping sounds and weird ass pop music. today’s playlist included: “fake love” (A/N: STREAM FAKE LOVE :]), “two trucks”, and “like a farmer.”

ouma specifically requested this because he knew everyone hated the music, but komaeda felt bad for him and kept the same three songs on.

“Ouma Kokichi. One of your little friends over there just told me that you AREN’T AN ORPHAN?” komaeda said. he was crying.

“w-WHO. WHO SAID THAT LOL. IT’S A… THEY’RE LYING.” ouma shouted. he was so scared. he knew that komaeda had kept note of how much free starbucks shit he’d gotten and it was well over 4,500 dollar.s

“idk. that one.” komaeda pointed at kiibo.

“OHHH KIBOYYYYYYYYYY. He’s a robot, Nagito. You can’t trust Robots!” ouma laughed.

“That is blatant robophobia! I will report you to the proper starbucks authorities if you keep up this act Ouma!” kiibo shouted.

“shut up you ugly bag of bolts” ouma growled aggain.

kaede, korekiyo, and saihara looked alarmed. every day kiibo and ouma fought in the bathroom and caused some type of flooding to happen. once they lined up a bunch of fruits and vegetables and flooded the bathroom and they all ended up in the hallway.

“Kaede. Saihara. It’s been… nice, but I will leave now. I do not like being around Ouma.” korekiyo said.

“w-wait man donT LEAVE YET.” saihara said. he was sweating like a pig. he knew that kiibo liked having saihara on his side and ouma always punched himb (saihara) in the ribs to give him a bruise.

“yeah you shouldn’t leave yet…😀 please” kaede begged.

“You have Maki and Kaito. I’m fairly certain they can fight better than us.” korekiyo said, already halfway to the door.

“He’s right you know.” kaede said. she and saihara said goodbye through their tears and turned to ouma and kiibo again.

“MAN I’M ALL FIRED UP, CAN’T BELIEVE THAT OUMA IS FUCKIN’ AROUND WITH KIIBO AGAIN AND IN PUBLIC THIS TIME” kaito shouted. he was so full of energy because he had accidentally gotten coffee with extra sugar.

“kaito shut up” maki said.

“CAN’T STOP ME NOW…. IM HAVIN’ A GOOD TIME DON’T WANNA STOP AT ALL” kaito said. he did not know the lyrics right.

“c-can you guys please leave” said two men sitting in a booth. it was george michael and andrew ridgeley. they were visiting japan today for their tour and decided to get some unicorn frappuccinos to drink.

sans was staring in anticipation at everyone. ouma and kiibo were glaring at each other and komaeda could only watch in horror.

“Lets take this outside man. maybe it’ll rain and you’ll get rusty and die. LOL.” ouma screamed. he was in hysterics now.

“OH. YOU’VE DONE IT NOW. YES, WE’RE GOING TO FIGHT RIGHT NOW. OUTSIDE. SAIHARA, KAEDE, KAITO, MAKI, K…. where did korekiyo go” kiibo said

“He left bc you guys are fucked up” maki said. she wanted to leave when she saw ouma but didn’t have the heart to say it to everyone. ouma always ruined the plans.

“wha…. NO?” kiibo said. he cried one tear.

“>implying you can use everyone. YOU ONLY GET TWO OF THOSE PEOPLE ON YOUR TEAM DUMBASS.” ouma shouted

“t-team?!” saihara gasped. he was 💩ing bricks.

“for the BEST TEAM, i, kokichi Ouma, pick: kaito and maki. kiboy gets saihara and kaede! lmao have fun with weaklings.” ouma said.

“can you all leave already, you’RE SCARING THE CUSTOMERS AWAY AND ITS RUINING BUSINESS.” the manager (teruteru) said angrily.

“oh fuck off you ant.” ouma said, dragging everyone out into the back lot. komaeda and sans were dumbfounded. there was virtually no rehearsal for that.

CHAPTER TWO START:::

“Ouma you have insulted me for the last time. today is a new start. kaede, saihara, and i will now proceed to defeat you.” kiibo shouted. he was fucking confident in his abilities today.

“kiboy you will lose in one minute. im sorry to say it. wait, NO IM NOT. fucking hellion. seth mcfarlane personally blessed me with family guy so i am invincible.” ouma said.

“ouma do i have to help you. i dont want to fight my sidekick OR KAEDE. o-or KIIBO :)” kaito asked.

“yes shrimp. you must fight for me because i recruited you and that’s how this bullshit works. don’t worry though! it’ll only take one pow and kiboy will be knocked out because he’s rusty and old. NEEHEEHEE.” ouma was fucking laughing his ass off.

maki and kaito looked at each other and gave the most sorry looks to kaede and saihara. they honestly didn’t Want to help ouma because they thought he was a fucking asshole but ouma could blackmail them and potentially kill them. no risks. kaede and saihara knew this but were still hurt.

“Ouma I have a doctor’s appointment in like, 15 minutes. can i leave yet” kaede said.

“wha…? w-well… you’re goign to hav eto recruit someone else to fight in your place since saihara wouldn’t win against me in a million years lol.” ouma said. he was so fucking annoyed. he just wanted to punch kiibo already.

#finnwriting #im cyringdghiadshigdshighidsihg #lonG POST #potentially

[otomeduck]

wah i think i super drunk lol but i watching pokemon movie 18: hoopa and the clash of ages!!! i cant wait ehehehe;)) i love pokemon lol not even kidding <33

feeling the s word has always felt v scarring and it still feels so but intrusive bad thoughts still arise at times which is kinda disappointing??? but i shd get used to it hahah

shit i feel v humoured @ myself that i dont even dare to type the full word of 's' but ya ok s thoughts r super bad lol but ya ok sigh sigh sigh so not mentally stable sia fml

but ya ok jinlijiuhao uhhh ughh hahahah omg first 3mins of the movie and im alr confused lol like whats going on whats this "hoopa" pokemon and why isit so powerful and overpowering all other legendaries??? is that even possible?? im so confused im gonna go on and research abt that pokemon fml

and its so mean and causing harm to other pokemon i want to slap it lol WHATS ITS ISSUE??? anyway watching this gives me such good vibes lol it reminds me of my younger days when i was like a kid and i used to binge on so many pokemon movie cds and waste so much of my parents' money hahah

freak i love pokemon yass ill do anyt for it;-)) ooh omg apparently its a mythical pokemon rather than a legendary and im so shook bc i nvr heard of its differentiation until today??? damn research works wonders hahah im so impressed

omg im laughing lol ash looks as fetus as ever in every series lol i feel ded hahahah does he never age lmao omg its hilarious but lol ok hahah

omfg im so scarred lol i never knew a "cartoon" would have such a deep meaning lol even as a teenager im loving this film omg 10/10 i love it wah

omg i wont say im confident because i dont watch a lot of pokemon when i started to learn english LOL in fact ive only played pokemon games when i have truly "matured" so to say so im not sure what the moves look like but im pretty sure lugia has been using brave bird continuously to protect ash and his team. im so amazed omg

omg im super impressed lol im naming the pokemon from memory so i apologise if i get any names wrong but omg hoopa is freaking OP and awesome??? omg it can summon all the legendary omg thats so cool and wonderful!!! it freaking summoned latias, latios and rayquaza lol im so impressed i crei omg i love baby hoopa lol innocent hoopa but yes this movie TEACHES SO MUCH bc yes pure hoopa has to learn how to befriend the dark hoopa as well bc both of them r the same person... omg deep lol wah 10/10 hehe loving it

i find ash so amazing for being able to befriend all, if not most pokemon omg. it must be his outstanding vibrant personality/ vibes. wah damn omg i love ash omg would get him as a bf jkjk

omg whats happening im so shook but the "bad" side of hoopa has summoned dialga, palkia and giratina??? omg im really unconfident of my naming but lemme pray im correct lol my pokemon naming skills aint gonna be rusty aft so many yrs of experience right??? hahahah

omg im shocked rn, it has went the extra mile to summon groudon, kyogre and another legendary i havent seen before bcs i stopped playing /watching pokemon when i got older like in high sch bcs of studies. wah omg

ik i feel readily angsty and its weird for me to mention sth negative while im enjoying my pokemon movie but i rly feel v angsty emotions readily like jealousy?? and stuff?? and comparison w others + beating myself up?? idk why hahah but ok nvm we all grow this aint a one night gonna improve all my bad qualities kinda thing

尽力就好 jiayous lol fml woah omg im so shook omg im so shook really but i never knew the concept of mega evolve wld be shown on the series so im really very extremely impressed rn?? LOLOL gives me ben 10 vibes jkjk but omg im so impressed lol wow

wow i love pokemon hahah i truly do lol and its wholesome content;))) ehehehhe. wah can i talk about how nice/awesome/AMAZING the graphics for this movie are??? omg im so shook im about to cry lol esp from the scene where rayquaza used twister. 10/10 man

wah i rly q moved now lol i hope nth bad happens to hoopa omg mus protec!!! omg i want to cry lol the movie has ended sigh fml ok wah that was a great watch???? wah bless that was a rly nice movie. NO REGRETS HAHA omg i love this movie so badly. <333

yeah that was nice hehe i loved it so much. apparently it has been out since 3 yrs ago and stuff LOL im so old fashioned but thats ok nobody's too old for pokemon <333 aw damn pokemon is gold hehe das some wonderful vibes tonight;))) i think im up for another lol but YAS i mean NU my ipad is 6% now uhuhuhuhu nvm let it charge, i can continue tmr if i wish HAHAHAH or technically later* bcs its 1.30am now lmaoo but that was so interesting??? ahh legit no regrets

#pokemon reviews #long post #movie spoilers