#of how Anakin accepted the responsibility so swiftly and worked so hard to be a good teacher | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

millers-planet · 3 years

Text

Concern - Obi-Wan x F!Reader

Storyline/ Prompt: we accept the love we think we deserve. (fic inspired loosely by that quote from perks of being a wallflower)

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of abusive relationships, SAPPY

POV: Obi-Wan’s

Word Count: ~2600

I only saw her once every so often, usually when she was with Padmé, who was always with Anakin. She was never happy when she was with the senator, always crying or fixing herself up, I could only assume how she got them. She had the wrinkles of what use to be a happy person, with defined smile lines around her mouth and less-obvious forehead crinkles. However, I’ve never seen the infamous smile that must’ve caused these indents.

I picked up on her name only once, when Anakin was saying goodbye to the two ladies, “bye Padmé, Y/N.” From the second I heard her voice, I couldn’t stop thinking about what other things there was to know about her. Has she ever left Coruscant? What did she do for a living? How did she meet Padmé? Why was she always hiding bruises? I regretted every missed opportunity and chance I had to ask her these questions. She was a forbidden book, only because I knew she’d lead me down a road I couldn’t follow, not without breaking the rules I’ve sworn myself to.

These bruises haunted the echos of my thoughts. Poorly blended makeup over dark discoloration wasn’t hard to miss, especially when she was constantly trying to keep her hand on it. It wasn’t often that I saw her, but when I did, these were always a continuous look on her. I never understand why people treat precious material, precious literature that must have hundreds of stories to tell, so poorly.

While she is that locked book, this never stopped me from having small and meaningless conversation. There was one incident where she seemed happy, giving me an opening to meet her formally on a positive note. “Anakin, who’s this?” I looked at her briefly and smiled, sticking my hand out.

When she flinched at my arm moving toward her, I had to plaster a pokerface to prevent me from dropping to a concerned look. “This is Y/N, Padmé met her through the senate,” Anakin looked to her with a face that said ‘you can trust him’ which made her release a bit of tension. “Y/N, this is Obi-Wan Kenobi, he’s my Master.”

“Obi-Wan? That sounds familiar..” she eventually shook my hand and smiled as her face lit up with the answer, “General Kenobi!” She had a contagious laugh that came out gently and warm, I was finally able to see the infamous smile that has caused all of those wonderful smile-lines. Y/N seemed sweet and innocent, I would’ve believed she was this kind of person if I hadn’t seen her patch herself up so many times or if I hadn’t noticed the nearly fully healed bruised on her wrist.

Padmé interrupted me as I was about to continue the conversation, “we should get going, there’s a meeting we’re going to be late for. It was great see you Obi-Wan.” She smiled when she looked at Anakin, “by Ani.” With that, she was gone, as quickly as she appeared.

Ever since then I tried to figure out some way to get into a senate meeting with Anakin and Padmé, with the hope of seeing Y/N again. Of course, this was delusional behavior because, realistically, she could be nothing more than a fantasy... not even that. She would be trouble for me, I know I should cut things off fully with her, but part of me remained worried about her.

I began visiting at his chambers less in the morning, meaning I’d have a lower chance of running into her. This was rough at first, not only because Anakin lectured me over how he enjoyed walking to training with me, but also because the thoughts of her only intensified. I hoped that by decreasing the exposure risk of her, it’d lower this mindless obsession, but it’s only increased with curiosity about how she was doing and if she was okay.

The one time I did walk to Anakin’s chambers in the morning, Y/N was there, so was Padmé. The door had just a sliver of it open, just enough for sound to get through and enough for me to see her. She had fresh bandages on her arms and new bruises over herself, she was frantic as she cried to Padmé, “why am I still with him?”

“You need to leave him, Y/N, there is nothing good coming from this relationship.” The senator’s voice was pleading to the other politician, trying to make her realize the truth and side with reason.

Y/N swallowed down a sob as she continued on, “he said he was done with all of.... this! I believed him, too, because he didn’t for awhile, so I thought we got past it, only it was temporary.” I saw her figure stop and sit down on some bench or couch, touching her eyes to wipe away tears. “I wish I could just walk away, but it’s so much more complicated than that.”

Padmé’s voice broke from calm to persuasive with hints of anger, “but it’s not! Y/N, it is not that complicated. Pack you stuff, come move in with me, get out of there.” Her arm draped around her friend, “I’m more worried about you than ever.”

There was a pause in the conversation before they continued onward, Y/N’s sighed and stood up, “no, Padmé, I can’t. There is too much at risk if I leave. If I go, there could be so many rumors started about where my priorities are at or other stupid things. But, we both know what gossip can do to someone.” I saw Y/N walk out of view, then a door opened and then closed after a second, it sounded like the bathroom.

“What was that all about?” It was Anakin. “Actually, tell me later, Obi-Wan is probably here. Bye.” He opened the door and swiftly closed it behind him, pushing a loose hair out of his face before smiling, “good morning, Master. I didn’t keep you waiting long, did I?”

I shook my head slightly before walking toward the training hall, “no, I got here only just a moment ago.” I shouldn’t ask about what just happened, though, what if she really is in danger? It’s not like it’s any of my business, though... “Early morning company?”

“Yeah, Padmé and Y/N came over again. She is going through a bit of a rough patch with her boyfriend, that’s all. When she wants to get away, her and Padmé come over to my chambers because-” Anakin caught himself as if he was about to say something he shouldn’t. “Because they know he won’t come searching near the Jedi area.”

Ever since then, not a moment passed by when she didn’t cross my thoughts. At night, I began romanticizing the idea of rescuing her, like some hero. I stir up dreams of following her back to her place and going to it when only her “lover” was home, just to show him a lesson. I have to remember, despite all this, that my job here is only to be a peacekeeper, but the idea of taking that forward step into this seems like the right answer.

When I was making pretend-scenarios of this rescue-op, I would imagine engaging in a conversation with her after I ran into her confessing the truths of her relationship to Padmé. I would generate possible starters of how I would ask her about all of this, possible things I would say to comfort her, or just all-around things to talk to her about. Maybe, instead of convincing her to just leave her boyfriend, I could convince her to leave him for me.

No, that’s selfish. I can’t do that just because I like the idea of her, just because she’s what occupies my thoughts most of the days. There are so many rules I’m breaking just now, without even talking to her anymore. If I was wise, I would talk about this to Master Yoda. If I was wise, I would have Anakin talk to her for me because he would have a bigger chance of making any impact, since I’m only a General she knows nothing about.

To compromise with myself, I’ll be... somewhat oblivious. I’ll forget what I’ve heard and seen, only if it doesn’t come up again. I will quit all of these meaningless thoughts and daydreaming because they are doing me no good, but if I run into her crying in Anakin’s chambers more than often, I’ll engage in those conversation that should remain solely as a fantasy. Unfortunately, this is exactly what happened, three times in just a week.

It was the same conversation between Y/N and Padmé, only this time each of them was more emotional. I wasn’t able to hear anything other than, “Y/N, he is going to hurt you so bad you won’t recover, and I won’t know what to do.” This was the final straw, this has begun to spiral out of control and I need to step in, in some way.

Just at the perfect timing, Anakin came through the door. Before he could say good morning, as he usually does, I intervened. “I can’t pretend anymore that I’m blind to what’s going on between Y/N and her boyfriend. Anakin, what is happening? Why is she still with him?”

My padawan sighed as he guided us toward our usual walk, only slower. “They have been together for a few years, since they both began in the public sector of work. It wasn’t always like this, according to Padmé. They were both happy, for a long time, but ever since the trade issues began, the way she’s been treated has declined.” Anakin stopped talking and turned to face me, pulling me to the side, looking me head-on. “You can’t say anything about this, I’m technically not even supposed to know. Please, Obi-Wan, pretend this never happened.”

“Anakin, something has to be done, there has to be something we can do for her.” My voice was pleading, when I realized how concerned I sounded, I noticed how suspicious it was, as well, for me to be so concerned for a politician. “You know that if I could, I would leave this alone, but the conversations between Padmé and Y/N in the mornings have progressed so much. They’ve turned from conversations of advice to conversations of begging for reason,” my voice was firm and less emotional, making me seem more serious, hopefully.

He sighed and looked around, considering a response. “Do what you want, but you didn’t hear any of this from me. Talk to her tonight, she’ll be at my chambers again with Padmé, most likely.” I furrowed my brows together, in confusion. “It’s what’s been happening these past few nights, so it’s a possibility she’ll do it again. She leaves about 7 to go back home. Now, can we go?” I nodded and continued our normal regimen, only, my mind was galaxies away.

If she lives in her chambers, I could take the long way around to my chambers, then break off to head to Anakin’s, making me run into her. However, if she lives with her boyfriend in his room, then I’m out of luck. Though, if I take the main lobby, that increased the chance of our paths colliding, but it’d make it more public. I can’t walk back with Anakin because it’d be too obvious.

I need to clear my mind, I shouldn’t be trying to plan ahead like this, I will know what is right when the time calls for it. Whatever feels like the proper path will be the correct choice, but I can’t know what it is until then. If I’m going to talk to her tonight, I should have that clear head to make proper decisions. I’ll meditate until then, Anakin has his own tasks to do today, I believe he was meeting with the Chancellor.

Pulling myself together as I sat down on an open spot with a nice view, I took deep breaths. My focus drifted away from all of these issues at hand and just drifted off. Everything relaxed, everything was still, and everything made sense again. I forget what really matters in this universe, and coming back to here makes it all better. I was in this state of meditation for a few hours, occasionally interrupted from loud distraction that were brief as I pulled myself back into concentration. When I was finally out, it was just a little before seven, giving me plenty of time to take that long route to my chambers.

I walked at a steady pace, not thinking ahead of the conversations we might have or of anything else, other than my destination. Keeping this clear mind will be fine, whatever happens, happens. Me overthinking does nothing to help, these past few hours has helped me realize that. The familiar hall designs pulled me from my zen state, I was in my hallway, with Y/N just a few feet down the hall. “Obi-Wan?” she called happily, picking up the pace to catch up to me.

The biggest smile spread across my face as those beautiful smile lines beamed right back at me, her bubbly aura flowing off of her. However, her body spoke a different energy, it cried out with pain and discomfort as the bruises stuck out like sore thumbs. “Hey, Y/N, right?” She nodded. “Are you alright, you look a little.... shaken up?”

She sighed shakily, she smile never leaving her face as she hesitantly rubbed her arm that was coated with markings. “Yeah, everything’s all good, how are you?” I pushed her hand down, off of her arm, revealing the dark welts once more. “Obi-Wan, please, don’t. I hear enough from Padmé.”

“I think we both know what needs to happen, I think we all know what is the best.” Her smile finally broke off of her face, her lip quivering. “You are so strong, Y/N, but there is so much love in you that’s being thrown away by wasting it on your boyfriend.” I put her chin between my thumb and index finger and pulled her weepy eyes to look at mine.

My hand instinctively moved up to her cheek, cupping it gently, she leaned into it, obviously comforted by it. “I don’t know how to do it, I feel like I’m throwing so many years of my life away.” She pulled away as she dried her tears, “I know there’s nothing left for me with him, but I can’t let go, there’s so many things I’m ruining by letting go.”

I sighed, “what was there was ruined long ago, Y/N.” She began tearing up as she heard what I said, not calling me out on it, obviously realizing what I said was true. “If you want, you can spend the night with me. You can come sleep on this tonight and do it tomorrow. Or, I’ll take you to him and you can do it now, then we can head back to my place.”

Her sniffles quickly ended as she wiped her sleeve on her nose, looking up to me with those watery eyes that just melted every bit of me. “Really?” I nodded. “Can we do it tonight? I know I won’t have the energy to face him tomorrow.”

“Of course we can, I’ll walk you there. You just go inside, make things quick, stay in there for as little as possible, you might just make things worse if you’re in there for awhile.” I saw her hands fidget and shake as I went on, just wanting to prepare her. “I’m right outside, though. If I hear anything, you won’t be alone.”

She nodded and began to lead the way. “Obi?”

“Yeah?”

Y/N ran herself into me and let out a built-up sigh, “thank you,” she spoke softly as she briefly wrapped her arms around me before moving forward.

tags: @blondekel77 @mysticdeerpolice @gabile18

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