#oh s hit is this an xmen au

[words-writ-in-starlight]

Marvel (you must do some that don't involve Xmen, I see you) FOR ALL THE MEME QUESTIONS

JUST LET ME TALK ABOUT X-MEN FOR THREE HOURS WOMAN

For this list

name ur politically correct ship that no one ever questions

I SHIP NICK SPENCER WITH THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL RESERVED FOR TRAITOROUS BIGOTED SCUM.  But I mean other than that…Natasha/Clint, Vision/Wanda, Rogue/Remy, and my much-maligned-by-movies-and-ignored-by-the-internet OTP Kitty/Colossus.  There is no order of preference here.  Also I recently got sold REALLY HARD on Steve/Bucky (recently, ha, like three years ago Jesus Moran get your shit together) so like, also Steve/Bucky.  And any marriage that makes Storm happy and a queen of a country, so by default Ororo/T’Challa.

now name ur trash ship

I do ship Natasha/Bucky, but I think the circumstances confirm me for a bad person, because I only ship them in the context of ‘I don’t remember you and you barely remember me but you can’t bring yourself to kill me so you shot me and saved my life and I woke up in your safehouse while you wiped my wounds with a gun in your other hand and I’m not sure which one of us you’re going to shoot first.’  So.  Like.  In the single most unhealthy available context.  In a whole universe of unhealthy contexts.

Also I feel like Bobby had a crush on Hank when they were both kids and sometimes still jerks off to his best friend but I DIGRESS.

and ur really trashy im-going-to-hell ship

Elektra the unhinged murderer/Matthew Murdock the desperately earnest crusader.  Fuck brutally against a wall and piece each other back together with trembling hands that smear your skin with blood.  Cling to each other in your dying moments and stand over each other’s graves feeling guilt for not saving each other and guilt for not killing each other.  Throw words like knives and hate yourselves for every hit even as you gloat.

Good.

who is your cinnamon roll fave who everyone loves

KITTY GODDAMN PRYDE, @EVERY MOVIE PERSON EVER COME HERE AND FIGHT ME.  Also Warren and Storm, I would die for Storm.

Also Steve Rogers.  I have this reoccurring daydream where Steve punches Nick Spencer in the face.

who is your sinnamon roll fave who everyone loves to hate/hates to love

I genuinely would not even know if I had one of these, Marvel has been in my blood and bones since I was too young to be on a computer unsupervised.  I like the FF more than most people seem to?  I really like Professor Xavier and I get really defensive when people talk shit about him?

who is your trash fave who is so problematic they probably have hate tumblrs dedicated to them

I…do not know.  I think Loki makes a pretty compelling villain, but I think I’m in the majority there.  I low-key want to fight whenever someone suggests that Warren joined Apocalypse of his own free will, but I AM STANDING BY COMIC CANON COME AT ME.  So yeah, don’t think I have one of these.

what is ur  guiltiest guilty fave fandom

Okay, listen, I will be an eighty year old woman who is made entirely of salty, salty attitude and brittle bones and I will STILL be reading my campy ridiculous 60′s comics with terrible dialogue and circus-performer villains.  I know it’s not a fandom, but still.

OH I really love X-Men: Evolution and I have a whole lecture about why it’s the best adaptation of the X-Men that I’m aware of to date, but I never tell anyone that I like it for some reason, does that count?

what is the fic you want to write/read but can’t because it is too full of Sin

…so.  I actually started this one (this one) and it was Good but then I realized it would be months and months of work and I got pre-emptively tired, but basically, first words soulmate AU where Natasha and her Black Widow trainee peers all got programmed to brutally murder anyone who said their words. So then Clint shows up and of course says her words and she tries to kill him before he pins her to the wall with an arrow, and they have a really terrible brutal few months where she begs him to just kill her a lot.  And Clint keeps a taser on his person for survival reasons.  And at least once Natasha tries to stab him to death in his sleep just to end the struggle.  And Clint has a terrible awful no-good very bad conversation with Coulson about the appropriate time to cut his losses.

what is the most sinful fic you have ever read/written

G O D D A M N

what is the worst thing you want to become canon (character death, trash-ship etc)

…listen…it’s Marvel…it’s all already canon babydoll…all of it…everyone is dead…everyone has had bad relationships…everyone has been resurrected…there’s no answer here…

what is your most sinful headcanon

Do not look me in the eye and tell me that Remy LaBeau has not figured out a way to have sex with someone without touching her skin.  Whether he’s put it into action or not, that’s another story, but he has DEFINITELY figured it out.

what is your cutest headcanon

Clint watches a lot of Disney movies (he looked it up, it’s called reparenting yourself) and so consequently during that couple month period where he and Natasha are basically locked in a warehouse waiting for her to fight off the worst of the brainwashing, Natasha watches a lot of Disney movies.  Now they’re Avengers and they watch Disney movies after missions and shit. Steve gets invited to join them because Natasha decides that They Will Be Friends (Natasha’s grasp on how to make real non-mark friends is heavily influenced by the fact that her first real friend shot her, handcuffed her, and locked himself in a warehouse with her for a couple months, and also was a circus performer with a dubious handle on the friendship thing himself).

what is your heart-breakingist head canon

…I mean…canon…

I have others that are non-canon or fit within canon but like that shit’s a longer post that would need to be broken down fandom by fandom

what is ur crackiest crack ship

HA, Storm/Arkon, because the idea of Storm as the queen of a campy-ass warrior world makes me laugh

what is ur marginally less cracky crack ship

Fury/literally anyone, because he would be SO BITTER about growing feelings

what is ur favourite ridiculous au

It’s not actually that ridiculous, it’s kind of terrifying, but AU where Loki brainwashes Natasha instead of Clint in Avengers.

#xmen #avengers #mcu #kitty pryde #clintasha #asked and answered #idk other pertinent tags #ask meme #my dear laurens #long post #very #sorry about that y'all #but seriously for real there have to be at least two other kitty/colossus shippers in the world #literally anyone who would read a fic i wrote for them #anyone