#ok maybe a couple of snippets and a time skip but that won't do it

[kannra21]

Love is the most twisted curse of them all

#i can't get over him #i simped for this character since 2020 #that's 4 fucking years #4 fucking years dedicated to this 1 idiot #and now he's gone #and now I'm supposed to move on? #how... #he won't be relevant to manga anymore #ok maybe a couple of snippets and a time skip but that won't do it #he's not actively involved in the manga anymore #prison realm was just gege's way of making us get used to him not being around #i'm so tired #the feelings are heavy #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #jjk 236 #jjk spoilers #jjk leaks

[foxxysierra-2]

Is It Even Worth It

7/17/20 Part two

To be honest, I am actually feeling better just thinking about NOT being a Hotwife anymore.

Besides, another reason for not wanting to do so anymore is feeling like I "have" to like things he wants because of holding the Hotwife thingovery head. So, I just think it's not for us, or at the very least...not for us right now.

I was gonna go on about other things. Other instances. Other events. But why? Why relive the horrible moments. Some with Hubby and some with other playpartners. Ones, I felt I "had" to play with cuz of how Hubby wants this dynamic setup. And still brings up, and just doesn't get how bad those expereincesmade me feel.

Onto the next subject on next subject on my list.

D/s.

I will never have this. I won't. I'm being honest with myself now...

I knew it when I married him. I always kept that in my Pandora's box. I got so excited when he put all that on the table, but when we actually started getting into the lifestyle, it was clear the way I want it is off the table.

I've alwayswanted it from him. Bit that was just foolish.y heart skipped a beat a couple weeks ago. I wastooexcited to think things thru and realize it was doomed to fail. That's on me. It is. He kinda tried. And I love him for it. Bit...it's not him. It's not. And when it's not there....itissovery evident. Two days ago he told hehe absolutely does not like to tell me what to do. I know he will still telle I'm agoodgirl. I'll still want and cravethat feelingg, butot will never be D/s. He will never hold me accountable or understanding the caring, protective Side. Stillthrows the bad girl thing at me. After I've told him several times how it makes me feel, esp because I'm being good.... 🤦🏼‍♀️. He thinks it's all about him takingwhat he wants, whenhewants.... I dunno... Maybe I'm not submissive enough... I really don't believe that sentence... Ugh...

It's a sadrealization. And without HW, there will never ever ever be another chance for me ...to... Be controlled like I desire, in the bedroom (tho I will have my tiny lil moments/snippets here and there). I will never have daily tasks. Just because he thinks I need it tasks... I will lookbadfobdly at the tiny expereincesmade hadwoth a couple wonderful peoplewho made memeot into apuddle of goo, andcaredto make sure I was ok.

I'm getting offtrack. Ya know... That's why it's calledpandoras box... It's supposed to remain closed, locked, tucked away.

I was okay in the realization that that's how life was supposed to be(vanilla). I was sh iwpupd have never had such azing expereinces, even just the normal HW ones...

...to be continued...

#2020 #foxxysierra #my journey #my writings #is it worth it