#4 fucking years dedicated to this 1 idiot
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Love is the most twisted curse of them all
#i can't get over him#i simped for this character since 2020#that's 4 fucking years#4 fucking years dedicated to this 1 idiot#and now he's gone#and now I'm supposed to move on?#how...#he won't be relevant to manga anymore#ok maybe a couple of snippets and a time skip but that won't do it#he's not actively involved in the manga anymore#prison realm was just gege's way of making us get used to him not being around#i'm so tired#the feelings are heavy#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk gojo#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#jjk 236#jjk spoilers#jjk leaks
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Broken Hearts Football Club | Chapter 3
Previous chapter | Next chapter
Masterlist
"Mrs. Maxwell!"
"Mrs. Williamson!" June laughed, hugging Leah. "How are you?"
"I'm good, all good. What about you? That last game against City was…"
"I prefer not to talk about it. Let's just focus on the national team and the next few days together."
"Cheers to that" Leah smiled.
"June!" Ella screamed, running towards her. "Are you ok?"
"Hello to you too, Ella" she chuckled. "I'm good."
"Are you sure? That defeat against City was a tough one, and the things Chilwell said about you afterwards…"
The things he had said had been some of the worst he had ever dedicated to her. He had been ruthless, blaming her for the defeat and saying, among other things, that she had not known how to lead the team.
"I don't care about what that man says. It comes through this ear and leaves through the other."
"Oh, great. But if you want to talk, you know where I am."
"I do, Ella. Thank you very much" June said, hugging her. "Now, like I was telling Leah, let's focus on the next few days, ok? Ben Chilwell does not exist."
"Even if he will be commenting our games?" Ella asked.
"Even so. He does not exist."
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━
"You would expect more from the so-called best English player. More? I scored, gave two assists, and was named player of the match. What else does he want me to do?" June said, letting herself fall on one of the sofas at St. George's Park. It was the day after their game against France, an easy win 4-1. But for Mr. Chilwell, it hadn't been enough.
"Maybe he wants you to also become a goalkeeper besides a striker" Ella chuckled.
"I don't know how to use my hands."
"Don't let the boys you date know that" Leah smirked.
"Idiot" June said, hitting her with a pillow.
"At Chelsea we have a theory about him" Lauren said, sitting down next to her.
"Please don't."
"A theory? What theory?" Ella asked.
"It's nonsense, don't listen to her."
"It isn't" Lauren said. "We believe he is madly in love with her but tries to hide it by being mean."
"That's so childish" Ella laughed.
"But he is a man. It could be" Leah shrugged.
"Isn't your brother friends with him? Maybe he knows something" Ella asked Lauren.
"I've asked him, but he has ignored me."
"Because Reece also sees how stupid it is!" June complained.
"We could ask some of Chilwell's friends in the national team, the boys also are staying at St. George's."
"I'm not going anywhere near Grealish" June said.
"Neither am I" Leah added.
"What about Mount?" Ella asked. “Aren’t you two friends?”
"We’ve been on the same campaigns a few times and partied together, but I wouldn’t call us friends. More like acquaintances.”
"Then why are you blushing, June? What are you hiding from us?" Leah asked.
"Me? Nothing?" she replied, crossing her arms over her chest.
"June, we have known each other since forever. You are hiding something."
"I'm not, Leah. Stop it."
"Then why are you blushing? Is it because we are talking about Chilwell?" Lauren asked with a mischievous smile.
"It isn't because of him."
"Then it is because of Mount" Leah insisted.
"Oh my god, June! Did you and Mason…" Ella asked, covering her mouth with her hand.
"No!"
"Yes, you did! When? How? Wait, no, I don't need details of the how. But I do need to know when!"
"I can't believe you hooked up with him and you didn't tell me!" Lauren said, hitting her on the arm.
"Same!" Leah replied, hitting her on the other.
"Ouch, girls!" June complained. "That hurts!"
"You deserve it from keeping secrets from your friends. Now talk. When did you fuck Mount?"
"Leah, lower down your voice!"
"Ok, ok. When did you fuck Mount? she whispered.
"Last summer. Not this year, the previous one. We happened to be spending the holidays with our families in the same place, and since they know each other from the academy…" June shrugged.
"And you didn't tell us because?" Lauren asked.
"Because it meant nothing. At least to me."
"What does that mean?" Ella asked.
"For me it was just sex. But then he told me he was starting to feel something and…"
"And you ran away like you always do" Leah laughed.
"I don't do that."
"Yes, you do, June. You just did it with the dj. The moment things got a bit serious, you cut him off."
"That's not true."
"It is" Leah insisted. "You are scared of starting a new relationship because you don't want to get hurt again, and I get it. But it's time you move on and allow yourself to be happy with someone, to heal that broken heart of yours. What if you've already met the man of your dreams and you've let him go?"
"I haven't met the man of my dreams, trust me."
"Haven't you?" Lauren asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Mason isn't the man of my dreams."
"I wasn't thinking about him" she smirked.
"Chilwell? No way."
"I actually think you would make a really cute couple. Cute and hot" Ella shrugged.
"No, no, no. I already have enough with Lauren and everyone else at Chelsea, I don't need that nonsense here too" June said, getting up from the sofa.
"If more people are seeing it, maybe it's because it is true…" Lauren said.
"No! No, no and no! Leah, say something! You are the reasonable one!"
"I mean… I've also known him since we were kids, and you actually have a lot of things in common. And I remember he fancied a friend of mine, and instead of telling her he kept bothering her" she said.
"But he doesn't bother me! He bullies me!"
"It can be the same thing" Leah shrugged.
"You all have gone mad. All of you!" June said, starting to walk away.
"Oh, c'mon Maxwell! We are just teasing you! We aren't being serious!" Lauren said.
"Wait, we aren't?" Ella asked.
"June, wait!" Leah said, following her friend. "June, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"But you did. The three of you did!" she cried.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" Leah said, hugging her.
"He's a jerk and a bully who for whatever the reason is obsessed with me. He doesn't love me!"
"It's ok, shh."
"And yes, maybe I am afraid of starting a new relationship. But he isn't the man of my dreams!"
"It's ok. Let it all out" Leah said, comforting June while she cried on her shoulder.
"Thank you" she said when she felt like she had no more tears left.
"You needed a good cry, didn't you?" Leah chuckled.
"I actually did, yes" June smiled.
"While you were crying I was thinking… What about my cousin?"
"What?"
"My cousin" Leah said. "You fancied each other at my birthday party a couple of years ago and he is single again. Why don't you call him?"
"Leah, were you thinking about hooking me up with your cousin while I cried?"
"Please don't get mad at me, June. But seeing you like that reminded me of the last time I cried like you just did and that it was him the one who comforted me. One thing led to the other."
"So you now want me to text a guy I met years ago and with whom I haven't shared a word since."
"Yeah" she shrugged.
"Leah, if I do that, he'll think I'm a weirdo. And I'm not in the mood for dates."
"Tell him it was because of me. But c'mon, June. Just one night. He's working as a teacher with little kids and has the funniest anecdotes. Even if nothing else happens, at least you'll have a laugh."
"Will you stop annoying me if I say yes?"
"I will, I promise."
"Then I guess I'll text him" she sighed.
"Great, thank you! And again, I'm sorry. I won't mention Mr. Chilwell's name ever again."
"Thank you, Leah."
"You're welcome" she smiled. "Now, fancy a basketball game? I heard some of the girls are playing."
"I already told you. I don't know how to use my hands when there are balls involved."
"June…" Leah laughed.
"You have the dirtiest mind ever, Williamson" she chuckled.
"Maybe. But I made you smile, and that's what matters" she said, putting an arm around her friend's shoulders and starting to walk towards the basketball court.
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since people absolutely love to ignore how Ajay’s parents abuse also effect her actions, and how Octavio’s actions prompt her REactions, i’ve decided to dedicate a whole rant about it TL;DR AT THE BOTTOM
(i’m the only one that sees her entire character istg)
#1 if Octavio is gonna act like an idiotic, reckless child, then he is going to be treated like one.
ITS NOT INHERENTLY HIS FAULT!!!! but Ajay is not aware of that!! And she’s not obligated to put up with his reckless and compulsive actions! She, before season 12, had barely ever brought up his reckless behavior, and how little he returned her support and care.
Octavio’s actions are his own, yes he was being manipulated by Torres, but Ajay didn’t see it that way, and chose to call him out.
DONT SAY THIS IS WRONG OF HER, BECAUSE OCTAVIO HAD HIS OWN VIEW, and it was “she’s not understanding, because she thinks i’m an idiot”
#2, Octavio owes more to her than any of you seem to acknowledge.
She has been Octavio’s personal doctor and therapist for YEARS. FUCKINgYEARS!!!! If someone who BARELY EVER SUPPORTED me ever were to try and fuck up my mission to stop a terrorist, then i wouldn’t THINK OR EMPATHIZE, i’d??? question?????
The one or two good things Octavio has done for Ajay has kept her putting up with him for their whole friendship, the one time she’s on a breaking point and yells at him is the time she gets perceived as a fucking monster
#3, HE’S NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH TRAUMA THAT AFFECTS HIS ACTIONS??????????????????????
ARE PEOPLE FORGETTING WHEN AJAY LITERALLY ABANDONED HOME FEELING BETRAYED, WAS IN THE FRONTLINES ON A BATTLEFIELD, AND REALIZED THE WEAPONS BEING USED TO HURT INNOCENTS AND HER FRIENDS WERE LITERALLY BEING MADE BY HER PARENTS????
Like, imagine growing up around people who you thought were good DESPITE THEIR ABUSE TO YOU, then finding out they’re MONSTERS??? AND ALMOST BEING KILLED BY TECH THEY MADE?????
Nd people are surprised when she wants people like her parents, like TORRES, to not be put in high positions of power???????
OH WAIR AND NOT TO MENTION OCTAVIO’S ACTIONS INDIRECTLY LED AJAY’S MOM TO TAKE OVER THE CHARITY GROUP AJAY WORKS TIRELESSLY TO FUND????1?/!4!(!;?2!-&@-@/2@
Cherisse “Stereotypical emotionless abuser” Che is now the president of her daughters entire passion and has made it into something completely different??? do u not think Ajay’s going to hold a little resentment to all parties involved???
AND FINALLY, #4, SHE AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGES HER FUCKED UP ACTIONS.
Octavio denies his dads damage to the outlands, denies that Torres is a terrible person, denies that he did something wrong
ONCE AGAIN, this is because of his manipulation and need for attention, BUT AJAY!!! DOESNT!!!!! SEE THAT!!!!!!
HOW IS SHE SUPPOSED TO SYMPATHIZE WITH SOEMTHINF SHES COMPLETELY IGNROANT TO!1!1!!1!1!1!
At least Ajay has the balls to say “hey, planting the foot is fucked up, i’m aware it’s fucked up, and i’m sorry i’m doing it, but i have to.” she quite literally is only doing this so that she can get a terrorist from having his hands on a planetary system, and to get HER BROTHER BACK.
i don’t even think she cares whether or not Tavi is still friends with her after this, she just cares that he sees Torres for who he really is, and gets out of his situation.
(Also a side rant, i’m aware that Octane doesn’t want to kill Torres because that’s his “dad”, and i’m aware that Ajay technically did the same thing with her mom, but there’s a difference between 20 yr old Ajay who’s still probably processing her whole situation, not wanting to see her mom killed right in front of her, and in front of a bunch of CHILDREN… vs 25 yr old Octavio “Octane” Silva actively preventing a war criminal from taking a throne of power over multiple planets because he heard an audio tape.) [that’s dumbing down Torres’ manipulation but Octane biases haven’t given me any reason to not be jaded] {{i’ve lost sleep over this}} (((also do u not think she considered that if her lil bf tried to fire that bullet then the soldiers and killer attack drones would’ve killed everyone there ?????)))
TL;DR BOTH OCTAVIO AND AJAY ARE FUCKED UP, SHES BETRAYING AND USING HER BESTIE FOR INFO AFTER HE PUT HIS TRUST IN HER AND HE GAVE IP THE WNTIRE PLANETARY SYSTEM TO A CARTOONISHLY EVIL MAN
AJAY ALSO HAS TRAUMA THAT INFLUENCES HER, STOP PRETENDING SHE DOESNT
No Ajay isn’t “more fucked up” than him, i’m not debating this.
oh my god stop comparing her to Duardo his physical mental and emotional abuse could never equate to her calling octane stupid and making him try to see the impact of his actions
also notice how i didn’t put any main octanes tags here bc i’m not an asshole and won’t show people criticism of their comfort characters unprompted omegalol
love u goodbye THIS ISNT OCTANE HATE I LOVE OCTANE AND LIFELINE EQUALLY AND HOW MORALLY IFFY THEY ARE
octane stans please don’t bite me but do please respectfully debate me i lauv talking and bantering abt these two
#apex legends#lifeline#apex lifeline#sorry this is so long#i’m normal#i’m the only one in this fandom that acknowledges her trauma#it’s tiring#i just want ppl to see her like i do#OCTANES NOT PERFECT#STOP TREATING HIM LIKE HE IS#lifelines still my fav#she’s just like me fr#she’s a bitch tho#that’s ok she’s cute
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Noel Gallaghers Reddit Absolutely."
NG: "You can send it to my management address, which is Number 54 Linhope Street, London, NW1 6 HL
Ask for Ray
Laughs evilly"
Question 2:
Steamedhams: "Do you ever get tired of those idiots who yell "Slide Away!" at your concerts?
If so, I'm sorry in advance for Monday night."
NG: "HA! Yes. I do."
NG: "I accept your groveling apology. And I still won't be playin' it."
Question 3:
Fagdrew4l: "hey noel, can you give me your favorite smiths song or songs?"
NG: "Ooooh! "Rusholme Ruffians." "The Queen is Dead." "There is a light that never goes out." "These Things Take Time." "Rubber Ring." And "Asleep." Amongst others."
Question 4:
Ericms: "Hey Noel, did the Japanese fan obsessed with your pants actually get to meet you in the end?"
NG: "No."
Question 5:
Thefeb83: "Hi Noel! Do you like classical music? Any favourite composers?"
NG: "ponders
Ennio Morricone is the only one that springs to mind. I've seen 'im twice in the last five years. And his music does bring a tear to my eye. I think he's a genius. Like me."
Question 6:
NoelyGFan: "Hiya Noel. Tayto or Walkers? Curlywurly or Double Decker? And a thank you to your wife for being such an inspiration for me to get fit. (Hence I don't eat any of those much anymore! :) )"
NG: "Tayto
Curlywurly. From the fridge
Oh wow! Well, I would high-five you back on 'er behalf. She's a fitness fanatic my wife. She's fucking gorgeous."
Question 7:
Aman50k: "I'll be attending one of your gigs for the first time this summer? Any advice, aside from not shouting out "LIAM!"?
Also could you please play an acoustic version of Go Let it Out sometime soon? It's one of my favourite tunes of yours!"
NG: "Eh - do I have any advice for you attendin'?
If you could find the time to buy some merchandise, that'd be great. A t-shirt preferably, maybe a poster, ideally a t-shirt AND a poster would be GREAT
Other than that, just clap in all the right places, and you know, don't shout out stupid fucking song titles."
Question 8:
Kyuzwafu: "Hi Noel, quick question. What is your guilty pleasure when it comes to music?"
NG: "Tears for Fears."
Question 9:
State_from_jakefarm: "Hi Noel
Your'e commentary on all of Oasis's music videos is possibly the best thing on Youtube and one of the funniest things ever
So I'm hoping that your stance on videos hasn't changed so we'll see some High Flying Birds commentary down the road. Right?
Also, if you play "All around the world" at the Sony Center on Monday I will dedicate a shrine to you in my closet"
NG: "Oh yeah. Absolutely
Then what better reason for not playing it? Hehehehe."
Question 10:
David_J_Huggins: "Hi Noel
Do you remember where the chant in the demo of Columbia was sampled from?
Sounds like a Hare Krishna-type chant to me, but would love to know where it was actually from. Thanks!"
NG: "None of us know. It was just - we switched on the radio - it was recorded in the middle of the night, about 3 or 4 AM, and we just... it was something that was on the BBC World Service I think or some fucking radio station. None of us know what it is. No idea."
Question 11:
Pottersground: "Hi Noel, fan since the Definitely Maybe days here. Thanks for doing this AMA. My three questions are:
1) If there had been one more Oasis album after Dig Out Your Soul, what do you think it would've been like? Which songs of yours or the other three would you have put on it?
2) What's your maddest Oasis story?
3) What lead to Lock All the Doors being dug up and rerecorded for Chasing Yesterday? And,while we're on the subject, are there any odds in any other old and unreleased songs being redone for future releases? I would love to hear a finished version of Gotta Have Fun from the '89 tape
Cheers Noel!"
NG: "1.) Okay. It would've been half of my first solo record, so "Record Machine" would've probably been on it... "Stop the Clocks" would've probably been on it, and "Dream On" and maybe "Stranded on the Wrong Beach" and then the rest of the guys would've put on some of their own songs
2.) Hah. Wow. Maddest Oasis story. Just the fact that we existed AT ALL and became the biggest band in the world is bizarre enough. I'm not going to share any Oasis stories with anybody online for fear of litigation and libel
Although needless to say - there were oiled midgets involved. grins
There, I've said too much
3.) "Gotta Have Fun?" What led to "Lock All the Doors" being resurrected was just the fact that I kept the chorus in my head all those years... and I just happened to be comin' out of the local supermarket, on a Sunday evening... and snaps fingers it fell out of the sky
That's it
There are no more hidden gems to be regurgitated
Good word. Regurgitated
"Gotta Have Fun?" Don't remember that one."
Question 12:
Ruben122: "Hi Noel. Huge fan from Montevideo, Uruguay here. Any plans on coming to South America? Thank you!"
NG: "Yes. I believe... it's pencilled in... although don't quote me on this... for March 2016."
Question 13:
FootballDropout: "Wow... I can't believe you're finally doing an AMA!
I've been a huge fan of your work for years, and Live Forever is my all-time favorite song. I love the new album, and I can't describe how happy I am that you finished Lock all the Doors. Your music, especially the Masterplan album and your first solo album has been the amazing soundtrack to my teenage years and helped me through some really rough times
Do you have any plans to release songs such as "Bye Bye My Family/Don't Stop Being Happy," "She Must Be One of Us" or "Just Let it Come Down Over Me"?
The Mustique Demos are something of a "Holy Grail" among Oasis fans. Will they be released with the Be Here Now reissue?
To get a response from you would be incredible, and again thank you for all the incredible music."
NG: "Okay
There will be a "Be Here Now" reissue
The Mustique Demos will be on it
Indeed
The 3 songs that you mentioned - "Bye Bye My Family" is called "Don't Stop..." - the other two will definitely be released at some point - not sure when."
Question 14:
Thefatronaldo: "Should City sack Pellegrini this summer and if so who would you like to see in charge next?"
NG: "Should they sack 'im, I don't know
Who should they get? I don't know that either."
Question 15:
*Unknown question*
NG: "Someone asked if I would ever be on Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee with Jerry Seinfeld:
In a heartbeat
I would fucking pay my own AIRFARE to do that
I'm a HUUUGE fan of Jerry Seinfeld. HUGE."
Question 16:
Laurakd7: "Do you get up to Manchester much these days and do you prefer London now?"
NG: "Eh - I go to Manchester to see my football team, Manchester City. When I go there, I love it. I usually spend about 2 or 3 nights there, at a time, and it's great, but London has become my home. And it's where I will probably stay from now on."
Question 17:
Danniboi1Derz: "What's your favorite thing to eat in the states?"
NG: "Ooooh!
Burgers
Burgers. Mexican food, 'cuz we don't get good Mexican food in England, and there's great Mexican food in America
And hot dogs."
NG: "The hot dog sandwich."
Question 18:
DannyBoi1Derz: "I know your son Donovan and you are pretty big WWE fans. Who's your favorite Wrassler??"
NG: "nods
At the moment - Donovan's favourite wrestler is Brock Lesner. Because he's mean, and evil
My favourite wrestler at the moment is Bray Wyatt. Because we met him when they did a show in London, and he was a really fucking nice guy. And we met Hulk Hogan, and he was a REALLY fucking nice guy. He asked if I was one of his Hulkamaniacs, and I had to say "yes, of course!" He came into this room, and I was going "Look Donovan, it's Hulk Hogan" and he goes "Look BROTHER, are you one of my Hulkamaniacs?!" and I said "Yes, of course!"
Question 19:
SuperT15: "Hey Noel, been a huge fan for years
What do you think is the most underrated Oasis song? Listen Up would be my choice."
NG: " "She is Love."
"Idler's Dream."
"Let's All Make Believe."
And... and... "Part of the Queue."
Question 20:
Frankm95: "Noel, do you consider a hotdog to be put under the category of a saddwich?"
NG: "Hahaha!
YES
Frequently
I frequently consider the hotdog a sandwich."
Question 21:
Lizzibarnes: "Also, forgot to ask! The ring with the red stone that you've always worn, what is the significance of it? I've always wondered! Thank you for being a rock-god."
NG: "gestures with ring
Thank you very much
I bought this ring in a pawn shop in Tokyo in the 90's. It's a US college ring that I believe people get when they graduate from college in America. It was given to somebody. I'm assuming a G.I. stationed in Tokyo, from Ruston High School in Mississippi (I've looked it up)
It has started many a boring conversation with some of the American armed forces in airport lounges across the world, when they'll say to me "Where'd you go to school buddy?"
"Manchester?"
"I see you got a ring there. Where'd you go to school?"
"I went to Ruston High School in Mississippi, as you can tell by my accent.""
Question 22:
Keepit_creepy: "Hi Noel, I have always wondered what your vocal warm-up consists of pre-gig?. Since your vocals are always on point!."
NG: "Eh... I sing "The Macarena." I do some yodelin'. And then I finish with "Crazy in Love" by Beyonce
Chuckles"
Question 23:
Gusrodlopez: "How was life before Oasis? did you had any life goal or something?"
NG: "No, where I came from, and the times that I grew up in, it was best not to have any ambitions. It was quite a bleak time
I never had a life goal until I wrote "Live Forever." And then when I wrote "Live Forever," I wanted to be in the biggest band in the world."
Question 24:
Riceomatic69: "Hey Noel, always wanted to ask this....back in the 90's you worked with Epiphone on your signature model "Supernova" guitar
However it didn't have any of the details of the custom shop Union Jack Epiphone you were most famous for at the time & have never seen any footage of you playing one
Did you have much involvement in the design or was it just a nice big bag of cash handed over for the use of your signature? :)"
NG: "chuckles
Okay, FIRSTLY, there was no big bag of fucking cash
Secondly, I was involved in the design
Thirdly, I can't fucking remember what my involvement was
Fourthly, I do have one, somewhere. But... I shouldn't have made them sonic blue color
It's disgustin'
Tell her I was high on the time, on drugs."
Question 25:
Bonojour: "Will there ever be a song featuring Boots? I think the meows would be a great harmony."
NG: "chuckles
Eh...Boots is an arrogant little shit
Yeah
That's my cat. He's been ignoring me for the last fucking five years
Me and Boots could never work together. There would be too many "artistic differences."
Question 26:
Venomousvillainy: "Hi. My Dad reckons he tested your eyes as a kid, do you remember going to an Opticians in Gorton?"
NG: "Gorton?
Yeah...kind of. Well, I know where Gorton is, and I know where my eyes are, and would I have had them tested in Gorton? I don't know
Gorton is like, an area of Manchester near where I used to live."
Question 27:
Jyhwkm: "Noel, you’ve always seemed dismissive of Oasis' Be Here Now - Heathen Chemistry years. Why is that? It was the ascots, wasn’t it?"
NG: "I dismiss "Be Here Now" because it's shit. And I'm allowed to say that because I fucking wrote it. "Heathen Chemistry" on the other hand, has its moments... "Force of Nature," "She is Love," "Little By Little," "Stop Crying Your Heart Out," etcetera
But yeah - "Be Here Now." Hmmm."
Question 28:
JamJam21: "Hi Noel! will you be adding anymore dates in the uk to your tour?"
NG: "I think there will be more dates, but not 'til 2016."
Question 29:
LordSifter: "You're still great mates with Gem - what's next for him? Will we see the 2 of you play together in the near future?"
NG: "I was with Gem about 4 weeks ago. Didn't get a chance to talk about anything really. It was at a party I was having in my dressing room, and there were too many people there. But if I needed on a track or a gig that thing that Gem offers, then I wouldn't hesitate to call him because I'd still like to think we're good friends and musical partners
As for what he's going to do in the future... I have no idea."
Question 30:
PraetorianGuard14: "Have you seen the new documentary on Kurt Cobain?"
NG: "No."
Question 31:
Jamesh134: "Hi Noel, what ever happened to the Oasis version of "The Roller"?
Also, I wanted to say thanks for all the music over the years. Been a source of inspiration all my life!"
NG: "Oh, thank you very much
The Oasis version of "The Roller" is... in somebody's... demo CD collection CD, somewhere. Not mine, I might add
Somebody will have it. Gem will probably have a copy of it. As has Liam, no doubt."
Question 32:
Sterlingavenueband: "Hi Noel. First of all- thank you for the many years of great music and leading me to my first guitar 18 years ago. Forever indebted to you for this
What are your thoughts on the songs 'Let's All Make Believe' and 'Roll It Over' and what are the chances of ever hearing them live? They're amongst two of my favourites of many which have never been done live before. Thanks in advance."
NG: "Eh - "Roll It Over" probably will never be performed live. But on the other hand, "Let's All Make Believe" I was messing around with it before this tour started, so I wouldn't be surprised if I play it in the very far distant future."
Question 33:
ZeppelinYanks: "Hey Noel! I'm a huge fan of Oasis and your solo work
A lot of what made Oasis great was the rock and roll attitude of "Fuck you, we're the greatest band in the world." What do you think about the current state of rock and roll? Is it alive, dead, or dying?"
NG: "ponders
I think that rock n' roll has turned into - or been turned into - a thing that is now referred to as "modern rock." Which is an awful title to give any kind of music. I think - I just think that the attitude, and the spirit, that we had is definitely disappearing."
Question 34:
Rodoalo: "Hi Noel, it's Rod from URUGUAY
My question has always been this:
Do you have any knowledge of music theory or did you learn songwriting by ear?
Cheers, your new record is amazing."
NG: "I learnt song-writin' by ear and instinct. I've never studied musical theory. I would never allow myself or any of my children to study musical theory. Because if you study musical theory, you will eventually end up soundin' like...shit
Hahaha."
Question 35:
Riceomatic69: "You have always spoken very highly of Ryan Adams & his version of Wonderwall, have you ever encountered anybody else that covered one of your tracks & thought it was as good as your version or maybe even better?"
NG: "No."
Question 36:
Look_who_it_isnt: "Hi Noel! I'm a huge fan. Your music has brought me so much enjoyment over the years - I can't even put it into words. I have major respect and love for you and wish you all the happiness in the world! I have two questions for you:
1) I love your sense of humor. You always make me laugh :) What's your favorite comedy, either from TV or movies?
2) A lot of us ladies think you're just the hottest thing ever. Does it bother you to be considered a veritable sex god? ;)"
NG: "1.) SEINFELD. The greatest thing that's ever been on television
2.) It's a cross I have to bear. And unfortunately... you know, it's a long road that I will have to carry this cross down. But I could think of worse things to be. I.E... a French person in Montreal."
Question 37:
Loulou96: "Hi Noel
I heard on radio 1 you perform shows wearing no underwear, can you confirm?"
NG: "Yeah, well, clearly that was a joke."
Question 38:
Super2goten: "Hey! Whose names were written on that napkin, Noel?
Thanks for being a legend! Think The Dying Of The Light/The Right Stuff/While The Song Remains The Same may be your best work yet, so thanks for that too! CTID!"
NG: "The names on the napkin was yours and your family's."
NG: "And I agree with those songs being my best work, and I admire your taste."
Question 39:
GiovaniGuizzo: "Hello Mr. Gallagher. Thanks for doing this AmA. I am a huge Oasis's and NGHFB's fan and I actually have several questions, but I will contain myself and ask just 3:
Which music is this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5mYMKfuUYc ? It sounds pretty amazing. Would you consider recording it eventually? Can you give us the name of this tune at least?
Have you met the girl of "Talk Tonight" after you wrote the song? If you have, how was the meeting?
I loved your new album, specially the "Lock All the Doors" track (what a blast from the past). Can we expect other reworked songs from the past in your future albums?
PS: You would like to take a look at /r/oasis. There are some interesting and insightful posts there from some mad fans."
NG: "1.) That song is called "Don't stop..." I've already recorded it. The reason it didn't make it onto "Chasing Yesterday" was because it didn't fit the vibe of the album. Needless to say, when I finally get 'round to releasing it, I think it will be one of my best ever releases. The sound of it is more akin to the first album, and I felt like "Chasing Yesterday" had moved on a little bit. But it's a great song, and I love it, and when I finally release it, you're going to love it (fans, that is)
2.) Eh - no, I haven't. I struggle to remember her name, to be honest
3.) No. That's it now, I'm afraid. The cupboards are bare."
Question 40:
Rak86t: "You're a great story teller and have such a way with words. Would you ever consider writing a book?"
NG: "looks around room
No."
Question 41:
Supersonic5: "Hey Chief! Never in a million years thought I’d see you do an AMA
You mentioned that you regret the name ‘Chasing Yesterday’, would you change it if you could, and what would you change it to?"
NG: ""Regret" is too strong a word. I don't think it's the greatest title I ever came up with. But then again, neither was "What's the Story, Morning Glory." If I could change it now, I'd probably change it to... eh... "Dark Side of the Room"
OR "Wheat is Murder." Hahahaha!"
Question 42:
Chenredditdude: "Hey Noel, I've noticed that in many songs you play E MINOR... Is it a heavenly chord?"
NG: "Hmmm
I guess it must be."
Question 43:
Govt_cheeze: "Hello Noel
How does it feel to be one of the last true rockstars?
&
What do you think of the new Blur album?"
NG: "It feels good to be one of the last rockstars
If in fact, that's what I am
And from what I've heard of the new Blur album, it sounds pretty good."
Question 44:
Rpm959: "What do you think it will take for guitar music to make a comeback?"
NG: "Somebody to write some fucking great songs
That's all it'll ever take
That's all it takes. People can talk about "attitude," and "spirit" and fucking good-looking guys in bands, and vibe, and fucking blah-blah-blah. I dare ANYBODY from the next generation to write one decent chorus
Yeah
Just one."
Question 45:
Justsomepersononredd: "Hi Noel, huge fan of most of your work
1) Do you ever get tired of people asking you all kinds of questions about Oasis? I've watched a few interviews with you post-Oasis and pretty much everyone's asked you a question or two about Oasis, I suppose I'm really not being different but do you ever feel like people should just move on?
2) How has touring and your creative process changed over the years? I mean, the music you put out now is quite different from the start of your career and I'm guessing there isn't as much partying behind the scenes as when you started
3) Which modern-day bands do you listen to nowadays? I discovered Kasabian by watching an interview of you and I think they're amazing, so thanks for that too
4) Any musicians you'd like to collaborate with?
5) I read that you had another brother, Paul, but I've never actually heard anything about him. What's he like?
6) What do you think of all these new forms of music distribution? Itunes, Spotify, Tidal, etc
Thanks for your time, hope you enjoy your AMA, and keep being an awesome musician"
NG: "1.) Yes. I do feel like they should move on. But I don't mind answerin' the questions if they're from fans, because i know how much that band meant, and continues to mean to people. So in my head, and my heart, I've moved on. So it's cool
2.) There's certainly not as much partying in front of the scenes, that's for sure. Everything changes as you get older in life. You know, you don't attempt as much as you did when you're 47 as you did when you were 27 - whether that be length of time on the road, or partying, or amount of songs that you write, or the places you're willing to go to write those songs. The life of a musician in regards to gettin' older is just the same as everybody else's life as they get older. Your fucking shit changes. Not literally
3.) Eh - yes, Kasabian would be one of my favourites. There's a band called Neon Waltz that you should check out. I'm not sure... there's a band called Jungle. Fucking hell, they are amazin'. Other than that, I'm still discovering old stuff from the 60's, I'm afraid
4.) Dave Gillmore, Jeff Beck, Davie Bowie would be - fucking hell, that would blow my mind if he would even shake a maraca for one tune, that'd be great. Yeah
5.) Heh. He's a fucking idiot - I'm only jokin' - haha! He's a dj. He - when I'm on tour in the UK - he does my official after show parties. And he's a funny, funny dude
6.) I don't agree with streamin'. I certainly don't agree with the lack of royalties that I receive from streamin'. I realize that the world is changin', and the way that people receive music - and even the fact that I use the phrase "receive music" is a fucking disgrace. I would rather that people own it. But I'm not sure where it's all going to end, if I'm being honest
I'll try."
Question 46:
Pheelip: "Hey Noel, huge fan. What do you think has been your greatest musical achievement?"
NG: "Whooooooo
I couldn't say with any great sense of certainty, because it changes every day for me, but I'm going to say the song "Rock & Roll Star" because it sums up everything about bein' young, and bein' in a band, and the hopes and dreams of, you know, a young land from Manchester
And it's a fucking great song."
Question 47:
MadferitNYC: "Do you think a rock band in 2015 can reach the level of popularity that Oasis reached? Or do you think that the music industry is too dead for there ever to be a rock band that reaches those heights again?"
NG: "I think that the days of a rock band explodin' out of a council estate in the north of England and going on to connect with so many people in so many countries around the world... I think the chances of that happenin' again are very, very slim
But we live in hope."
Question 48:
Karmarghh: "Hey Noel, been a huge fan of yours almost all 20 years of my life. I have been lucky enough to see NGHFB twice recently and just want to tell you the new album is f***ing incredible! You, among the likes of Bacharach and Macca, are my absolute inspiration for pursuing a life in Music, so thanks for that. Anyway - couple questions for you:
1) As a songwriter, could you let me in on your approach to melody? I listen to yours and ask myself "why the bloody hell didn't I think of that?!". Do they really just pop into your head or do you find there is a lot of trial and error?
2) Reckon you can give me a kick-start and replace Mike Rowe with me on keys? He's a cool guy, but I'll do it for nothing. That gives me the edge right? Oh and I won't f*ck it up - I promise!!
Take it easy Noel, and keep doing what you're doing. Riverman blows my mind."
NG: "1.) Eh - it depends. The great ones usually just pop into your head. And seem to just fall out of the sky. And then some of them you have to work at. There is no golden rule or any rule set in stone for songwritin'. No matter what anybody might tell you, it seems to change from song to song for me. But I guess... I always, always, ALWAYS let the melody dictate the rest. I don't worry about the chords. I just let the melody dictate where the song's going to go and sometimes they're great and sometimes they're not
2.) Well, you're in! Cheap labor is my forte, haha."
Question 49:
Sally_cinnamon_: "Hi Noel! First of all, thanks for giving us so much great music. You truly are a godlike genius
My question for you is: where did your sense of humor and talent for storytelling come from? Because I think you are genuinely one of the funniest people in the world seemingly without even trying
Also, do you still think dogs in hats and sunglasses are hilarious?"
NG: "Well - dogs in hats and sunglasses - there is *NOTHING* funnier than a dog in a hat
Ehm - I don't know. My sense of humor, I don't know. It's Irish, it must've been passed down to me from somebody in Ireland."
Question 50:
Jeavo: "Hi Noel, thanks for doing this AMA
If at all any, what video games do you play?"
NG: "I don't play video games
I have a life. And that life is too short for video games
Some of my band play video games on tour. It drives me up the fucking wall. And it's one of the main reasons why I'll probably fire the fucking lot of them on this tour."
Question 51:
Shivan21: "Hi Noel! I've always wondered about the meaning of D'you know what I mean video, and especially the fact that there is Be Here Now and D'you know what I mean written in czech language. The video has very 60's atmosphere for me and they are also alluded by Beatles references. Considering the military choppers, could be the video understood as refering to the Prague Spring in 1968?"
NG: "No. Okay. The video for "D'You know what I mean" was shot on the deserted set of FULL METAL JACKET, which is still - you can still visit it in London - so it's an old, disused gasworks in London. The Czech writing, I'm not sure what that's all about, I thought it was Vietnamese writin'. The choppers was a reference to Vietnam. What any of that has to do with the fucking song is beyond me. I don't even know what the song's about, never mind the video!"
Question 52:
Brutalful: "Hi Noel
I am curious what (if anything) is still on your bucket list?
If you have done it all, what are your top 5 moments in life, and is playing with Johnny Marr on that list?
Cheers!"
NG: "Okay. First of all - a bucket list is the most fucking ludicrous fucking term I've ever heard, in my life
BUT
I would like someday to record an album in New York. I would also like to have Dave Gilmore play on a track for me. And Jeff Beck. I think that's about it
Oh, actually, I also still think that one day I'm going to write the greatest song in the world."
Question 53:
Nathanoasis: "Hello Noel! Your music is incredible, all 20 years of it, and it has changed my life. Thank you for that and thank you for doing this AMA. I have a question about the song that is going around the Internet under the name "Bye Bye My Family" (and "Don't Stop the Happenin'" and "Hold Back the Night"). From what we've heard, the song sounds amazing. Will this song ever be recorded and released? Thank you again and keep on being an absolute fucking legend!"
NG: "chuckles
I pretty much just answered that question about 20 minutes ago. It's a song called "Don't Stop..."
I've already recorded it. It didn't make it onto "Chasing Yesterday" because it sounded a bit too much like what was already on the first High Flying Birds album
But it will be released, in, you know... soon!"
Question 54:
MidnightPizza: "Hello Mr. Gallagher! I'd like to thank you for all the music you wrote. I hope to see one of your show soon and maybe pay you a beer. Here are my questions:
1) Are you still thinking about doing an album with Damon Albarn? What do you think about The Magic Whip, Blur's latest album?
2) What's your opinion about Dave Sardy's input on your work? Some people think that your latest work (especially your first solo album) could've been better without him and that producing Chasing Yesterday yourself was refreshing. I personally enjoy the Dave Sardy produced albums as much as any other album you wrote
Anyway, congratulation on Chasing Yesterday. It really is a great album."
NG: "1.) Ehm - the thing with Damon was a flippant comment as casually thrown around as "We should go for a drink." As for makin' an album, I would be amazed if either of us ever had the time to make that work. As for "The Magic Whip," I like the tracks "Lonesome Street" and "Ong Ong" - I haven't heard any of the rest of it, but if those two tracks are anything to go by, sounds like it's going to be good
2.) Ehm - his input was fantastic. And at the time, invaluable. And I couldn't have got my solo career off the ground without him. All that being said - you know, my record, this record, "Chasing Yesterday," sounds that good. With any producer, it's all about the relationship, as opposed to the skills that they can bring. But me and Dave, you know, still to this day we remain good friends, and maybe we'll work together again in the future."
Question 55:
SnakeArms: "Hi Noel! In ALL of your interviews you've said that the original verses to 'Lock All The Doors' went to The Chemical Brother's 'Setting Sun’, which is weird, because the 1993 demos we have suggest that the songs original verses were instead used in 'My Sister Lover' and the verses that went to 'Setting Sun' came from a different demoed song 'Coming on Strong'. Have we missed something or does any of this sound true at all??
Oh, and what happened to 'Slow' and 'The Red, White & Blue'?!"
NG: "You should bear in mind that my memory's not the best
If you're telling me it's from a different song, then I would probably agree
I'd like to think that the Chemical Brothers story is a better STORY though
So let's keep that between us."
Question 56:
LittleWoodstock: "Hey Noel, big fan of all your work!
Is your work any different with the High Flying Birds than it was with Oasis? Are there any aspects from the Oasis days you miss?"
NG: "I miss... the camaraderie of being in a band, in the studio. That is to say, there are massive benefits - by makin' a record on your own, you can change direction very very quickly. And you don't have to run things by "the committee" of band members
On the other hand, it's great to share, you know... to share the greatness with other people, d'you know what I mean? If I can give you an analogy, you know, the more people at a party, the better
Shrugs
Although it's sometimes nice to party on your own."
Question 57:
MONTREAL_COME_ON: "WHY TORONTO AND NOT MONTREAL? we've got a better hockey club and our football team is getting better every year."
NG: "Because I went to a fucking donut shop once in Montreal, and all the staff spoke French! And last time I looked - France was on the other side of the fucking world
So I say to the people of Montreal - au revoir
Hahahaha!"
Question 58:
ExtremelySexyMan: "Hey Noel, first off, huge fan, thanks for doing this
My question is, after writing great songs for more than 20 years now, where do you get your inspiration for new material? I imagine it to be the most difficult part of being a musician, and I am continually blown away by your work
Cheers, and go City!"
NG: "Ehm... I guess I'm a product of my record collection, which is ever-expanding and gets ever-more eclectic. And I don't ever sit down when I'm writin' a song and feel like I've got anything profound to say to the universe... I just - to coin the phrase from that godawful film FROZEN... I just let it go... let it go!
Smiles"
Question 59:
Stevie_j: "Noel, thanks for many years of amazing music. Please don't stop
Have you ever thought of doing a comedy tour? Seriously."
NG: "HA!!!!
Fucking hell - NO.”
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masterlist of my fics:
byergrove week
1. late night talking (i can’t get you off my mind)
+ billy/steve
rating: teen | no ao3 warnings apply | 921 words
past harringrove, referenced cheating, toxic steve, jonathan is a sweetheart, billy is a mess & needs a hug, jonathan loves billy
Jonathan wants to punch Steve Harrington in the face with his fist.
Instead he punches Billy Hargrove's lips with his.
2. karma is my boyfriend (aren’t you envious that for you it’s not?)
+ one sided billy/steve
rating: mature | no ao3 warnings apply | 1,471 words
one sided attraction, non-con voyeurism, hand jobs, anal fingering, bottom & sub billy, top & dom jonathan, virgin billy, unhealthy possessive steve, king steve, fatphobia, dehumanization of jonathan
Steve felt like a creep. Like Jonathan.
Which was ironic, really.
Three years ago Steve was in the same situation. Except, he was the one in the room that time, kissing the person of his dreams, while Freak was watching them from outside like a fucking weirdo that he is.
3. parents think we're fast asleep (we're sneaking out the window)
rating: teen | no ao3 warnings apply | 2,350 words
implied sexual content, pov jonathan, referenced child abuse, tooth-rooting fluff, jonathan has anxiety, billy has adhd, asthmatic billy, trans ftm billy, modern au
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Jonathan is about to lose his mind.
These messages better be fucking important.
Eight new notifications. From: ocean boy.
…Billy? God.
This wasn’t who Jonathan expected at all.
4. your love seems to cut me deep, the sharpest (you’ll always have a part of me)
rating: ga | no ao3 warnings apply | 792 words
fluff and angst, hurt/comfort, autistic billy, jonathan loves billy, billy has problems with consent cause of his ex bf
“Can I kiss you?”
Billy doesn’t really wants to kiss today.
But.
Billy doesn’t want to upset Jonathan.
5. killin' parts of myself to fit you (clear as shit i was not the issue)
+ argyle/billy/jonathan/steve/eddie
rating: mature | no ao3 warnings apply | 1,275 words
angst, no fluff, rockband!au, groupie billy, mentions of drugs, sex drugs and rock n roll
“Do you love me?”
“Of course I like you, baby. What are you talking about?” Jonathan really doesn’t want to get into a deep feelings talk right now. He’s hungover from last night and the mix of the drugs that he took at the club are still in his system.
“That’s the problem.”
“There’s a problem in me liking you?” Jonathan chuckles and closes another cupboard, not seeing any cereal in it either. He’s really desperate for some Cinnamon Toast Crunch mixed with Boo Berry and Franken Berry.
“No.”
6. spring breaks loose, the time is near
rating: gen | no ao3 warnings apply | 1,146 words
sick billy, idiots in love
March 17th is the most important day of the year, according to Billy. After December 21, of course. (December 21 is Jonathan's birthday, if you didn’t know for some weird reason.)
On March 17, Billy kissed Jonathan for the first time.
7. (you stupid bitch, can't you see) the perfect one for you is me
rating: mature | no ao3 warnings apply | 3,111 words
fem au, roommates au, implied sexual content, accidental voyeurism, getting together
Wilhelmina Ocean Hargrove.
Mina Hargrove.
Willa, Minnie, Billie, Helma.
If Joana could write any poetry, even slam poetry, she would dedicate all of her poems to her.
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Right now, it's 1 am in Turkey time and there is school in the morning, I can only sleep for 4-5 hours, no problem, maybe this article will be on your homepage, but because it is long, it is impossible to read, it is not really important, I just wanted to write what I wrote in the notes section. A few months ago there was a strange feeling and I was in it, I was in a void, there was an inadequacy, but this inadequacy was neither due to money, neither lessons nor love, I used to think that I was inadequate for BTS, I should have proven everyone around me and not silenced them all, I should have known all their songs, but there wasn't, there were some deficiencies and I am incapable of it. At these moments, we saw that the notes sections were written by the letters to the members, and they went back to the surrounding readings. Even in things, it would make me happy to find them. We have a lot in common with them; Namjoon's ingenuity in the kitchen(!), seokjin's cheerfulness, yoongi's recklessness and deep thought, jhope's attitude in the friend environment, jimin's hiding some things, example very well, taehyung's gestures and people are very knowing well, jungkook's style and rebellious looks and actually being a baby, our common features, now that it's like this, I mean when I'm full of humiliation, they should understand my recovery instead of me telling itThey are everything to me, I was insecure and thanks to them I gained self-confidence, I started to love myself and many other things, so I am grateful for my little babies and do more for them, I know that I am enough for them.
These were the things I felt before, this feeling of missing came to an end with jimin's album, looking at the meaning of the song, I realized that jimin also went through such periods, but he didn't reflect it, he was strong and had to be a complete person and go through the way of idiots, so I'm closer to them now , this was not a problem for a while, I continued my letters, it was very good, I discovered new things about bts, despite my two-year army, there are things I missed, here is the feeling of inadequacy, I dedicated myself to them, my dreams when I got low in exams, I cried for them , everything was fine, jhope enlisted in the army and I was undecided whether to be happy to see seokjin, sad or proud of jhope, fall in love with namjoon again or wait for yoongi's album, thank goodness I got over it all.
Because I have enough of them. Then I got the news of moonbin, the man with the beautiful smile, may he sleep peacefully, and I thought, moonbin wasn't my idol, I only knew his name and idol, after I got the news, I watched the broadcasts a few days ago with deep sadness, it was okay I swear to you very much he was normal, he was laughing and it was normal, just like my idols, but he committed suicide because of feelings he couldn't handle, you don't know what anyone is going through or hiding when you think about it, when you empathize, even though any member with a bad dream seems normal, if the news of suicide suddenly came, it would be the end of me for that. I cried many times, but I realized that this does not help, instead, as the army, we should make them much happier and not make them think about it. Thank you for understanding me, for loving me, I'm grateful to BTS, thank you taehyung for not hiding his depression from us, thank you jungkook for sharing his troubles with us, thank you jhope for calming himself down by saying it's okay even though he didn't get any letters at the time of debut I do,thank you to the members who protected jimin who received death threats so nothing would happen, and thank you to jimin who remained strong despite these threats, thank you to yoongi who didn't give a fuck about the bad comments, thank you to namjoon who stayed calm and dissed even though his group was being teased Thank you to seokjin for staying calm for the army despite receiving bad comments from some people, thank you for being BTS AND ARMY Thank you so much I love you my seven angels, I wish you all healthy and happy, and 2025 brings you to me as soon as possible my little soldiers, good luck you are there, bts and army endless... 🍓💗💌🍷❤️💓💞
#bangtan#bts#bts jhope#kpop#bts jimin#bts jin#bts namjoon#bts jungkook#bts taehyung#bts yoongi#yoongi#min yoongi#bangtan seokjin#jhope on the street#kim seokjin#bts suga#bts seokjin#kim namjoon#kim taehyung#namjoon#bts rm#rm bts#bangtan jhope#jhope bts#jhope#j hope bts#jimin#park jimin#jimin face#jjk
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I am always interested in anything you wnat to say
-⚜️
Nice nice
It is an decently long list but you brought this onto yourself
1) Sickfic au set in hogwarts where James is ill and they all restrict him to the Slytherin downs and put an impossible amount of energy into making him feel better. He ends up surrounded by food, covered in blankets and being read books all day. By the evening, everyone in the castle thinks he’s missing bc nobody can find him (Barty hid the map lmao) but it’s okay bc James has three boys curled up on top of him. Luckily for them, it wasn’t contagious.
2) Muggle au with Barty being a good dad and James melting on the spot at the sight of it. Regulus and Evan watch James simp and find it absolutely adorable.
3) James being terrified at the thought of asking the three of them if he can have another bf, them all being rly supportive and excited to meet James’ little crush and then finding out it’s Peter sexy-mf Pettigrew and hyping him tf up about it because Pete is a hell of a catch
4) Reggie is a singer, James, Barty, and Evan all go to see him live and fall in love on the spot. They later end up meeting him a few months later, at a hotel, where the bookings got messed up so they have to share a room. They spend the night with reg, getting to know each other. The rooms are fixed up the next morning and they don’t see each other again. Reg’s next song comes out a year later, which has some odd similarities to the conversations they had and their appearances. In an interview, he dedicates the song to ‘the idiots in room 347’.
5) James is terrified at the thought of having three soulmates, until he meets them. They help him overcome his fear and they all love each other more than life itself.
6) Evan and Regulus are princes from rival kingdoms, ordered to come to a decision about the future of the relationship between their kingdoms. James and Barty are their respective favourite knights, who are with them every waking second. Evan and James are already in love, as are Reg and Barty. But it changes when they all meet each other. It’s forbidden, complicated, and messy but it’s cute anyway.
7) James is an Angel, the other three are demons, and there’s nothing demons do better than tempting.
8) Sirius introduces James to his brother and his brother’s boyfriends, James can’t forget about them no matter how hard he tries.
9) Childhood friendship group to lovers but they’re all fucking idiots and don’t get together until they’re all 30 because they didn’t notice the songs for two and a half decades.
10) Barty and James are both 37 years old and started dating after their respective divorces, but, despite still technically being young, they’re nowhere near as lively as they used to be. Evan and Regulus are baristas in their early 20s and won’t give up until they get the attention of the two sad men who come in every Thursday.
11) They all meet at a trans support group.
12) James goes to meet the new neighbours. He goes in for a cup of tea and leaves with the sneaking suspicion that they are vampires, along with a deep fascination for them. They agree to meet the next week as they enjoy each other’s company. They meet every week for a few months and James becomes more obsessed every time. He finds out the truth, gets bitten, and they live their best immortal polyam husbands lives.
13) literally any band au
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1. I read your stuff and commented and you just started. Reading my stuff??? And you were so sweet???
2. And then when I found you in tumblr you just started talking to me acting like you. Were an equal to me when you were my inspiration????
3. You roleplayed with me and indulged me in my dumb stuff
4. You listen to my ramblings and you're actually the only non creator who knows of Wisp's Backstory not even my best friend for 2 years knows what happened.
5. You work yourself so hard and never let yourself relax because you're so dedicated which is admirable but please take it down a notch and care for yourself
6. Despite me not doing anything for you, you do so much for me??? I'm buried in debt to you ily
7. You are always fun and interesting and I love talking to you
8. Your mushy brothers is the reason I have mushy brothers because I was self conscious about it
9. Even if you don't know what I'm talking about you listen and my goodness ily
10. You make so much Giftfics for meee
11. It's so fun to bully Wisp because you're so entertaining to
12. I love being able to talk about true crime without having the other treat real people like fictional characters
13. You write so much skelebros... and you write them so well...
14. You read my stuff despite you being good enough to probably be with better more known creators
15. You're only 18 and you've made so much stuff and you've inspired so many people and you have so many followers
16. I'm literally so fucking weird and you don't even blink an eye at it???
17. You always cheer me up when I'm in a bad mood
18. Your Sans angst.... ouagh...
19. YOUR PAPYRUS ANGST... OUAGH...
20. The newest giftfic where Sans is so sappy where he tackles his brother out of love???
21. You thought about me and wrote a chapter inspired by me :')
22. Even with my delusional memories you comforted me and helped me so much
23. Even with my really angsty whump stuff you encourage me and tell me how you like it
24. Speaking of that you shower me with love and idk why????
25. You're so creative and I don't know how you get it???
26. You made an au inspired by my interpretation???
27. AND YOU PERFECTED IT SO QUICKLY TO WHERE IT MAKES SENSE WHILE MINE IS REALLY LAZY
28. I was supposed to be doing my homework but I'm doing this instead just for youuuuuuuuuuuuu
29. You light up my life so muchhhh
30. You're literally one of my favorite authors. When I see a Gmail with your name I scramble to open it
31. Almost every author I know there are parts of their work I think is less than stellar. Not with you. I can't think of one part.
32. You put stuff into words so well while I can't and just try to somewhat convey what I'm feeling
I'm actually tired af so I'm going to conk out and continue tomorrow ilyyyyyyyyy
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HOW
HOW
WOH
HOW
HOW
DARE
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
EVERYONE
EVERYONE LOOK
LOOK AT THIS IDIOT (AFFECTIONATE) AND WHAT THEY DID FOR ME WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS I LOVE YOU I DIDN'T EVEN??? I COULDN'T EVEN WORD MY OWN LIST WELL AND I WAS BAD AT IT YOURS IS SO MUCH BETTER BUT WHY DID YOU DO THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
(ALSO SORRY ABOUT, THE CONFUSION ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY/AGE, FOR ANYONE WONDERING I ACCIDENTALLY PUT THEM UNDER THE IMPRESSION MY BIRTHDAY HAPPENED ALREADY BUT I DON'T TURN ADULT UNTIL LATER THIS YEAR DSHJGDSJDSGJHDS)
#I'M NOT AS COOL AS YOU THINK I AM YOU'RE COOLER#mutuals!!!#my beloved mutuals <333#asks#HUGGING YOU RIGHT NOW#AND ALSO BITING YOU#obsessivefangirl
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im gonna talk about azz at you because hes literally my daughter i love her SO much. so hes the honour student of the first years and he comes from a really rich and powerful family. on top of that, hes canonically pretty hot and so hes popular with women and generally respected and seen as really cool by everyone. theres a ranking system in the netherworld and he was already rank 4 which is INSANELY high for a first year student. most of the time theyre rank 1 Maybe rank 2 at most.
he has all the qualities that should make him the Coolest guy ever and should make him an arrogant and annoying asshole but NO. he is “defeated” by accident by iruma (protag) and is so overwhelmed with awe that he was defeated he dedicates everything he has to iruma. he treats iruma as his master and is obsessed with everything he does (borderline in love you know how it goes) and he doesnt give a SHIT that girls are hanging off him, he doesnt care about any of the guys who wanna be his rival, his soul focus in life is iruma which makes him sooooo tunnel visioned and stupid. hes such a competitive idiot. he makes up headcanons to explain irumas stupidity all the time. hes so dumb and loves iruma so fucking much and cannot Stand to be separated from him. they were playing dodgeball one time and the two of them got put on opposite teams and azz was literally sobbing over it because he couldnt imagine fighting against iruma. yeah. hes everything to me. for someone so powerful and who should be so objectively cool hes SUCH a dork he such a loser god
oh im obsessed w him already. are u kidding. pathetic and in love
#and he PRETTY#i love that for him#being in love w ur main character bff is TUFF#frey answers#spicy <3
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I posted 27,099 times in 2022
5,963 posts created (22%)
21,136 posts reblogged (78%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@isquirtkerosine
@indigoadult7244395
@newvegasdyke
@benzohoarder
I tagged 3,131 of my posts in 2022
#anon - 96 posts
#walter is my cat - 39 posts
#prev - 38 posts
#rats - 26 posts
#art - 24 posts
#fennel - 23 posts
#mine - 21 posts
#nursing home stuff - 14 posts
#lmao - 13 posts
#death tw - 13 posts
Longest Tag: 141 characters
#also books are better when you buy them second hand 🤷♀️ i see your pristine new copy and raise you an already loved already read pre worn i
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Some woman on hinge was like ask me about my Taylor Swift conspiracies. So I did and she told me that she thinks tswift is gay and I was like my favorite me I’ve heard is that her and harry styles committed vehicular manslaughter and then she wrote songs about it. She didn’t message me back :/
879 notes - Posted March 10, 2022
#4
Tao Siqi (Chinese, b. 1994). White Tail, 2021
923 notes - Posted February 12, 2022
#3
I wouldn’t say slur but milf is a porn term and absolutely inappropriate to apply to women. Why is everyone so dedicated to normalizing fetishistic porn terminology. I hate it here
1,165 notes - Posted February 18, 2022
#2
If I see one person say “well THIS group of women will always be able to get abortions” I am going to be really really really mean. As mean as I need to be until people stop being fucking idiots with zero understanding of misogyny or the material lives of American women
1,888 notes - Posted June 24, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
This is a good time for a really mean meme I’ve been thinking of
70,929 notes - Posted June 24, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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some stuff I've gathered about the Titan sub
it's all extremely dumb guys
1-the navy did relay the implosion sound that they caught on sunday to the united command of the rescue operation, however the united command guys determined that the sound "wasn't definitive" and they continued the search as if they were looking for an in-tact sub under the belief that even a slim chance to save a life was worth taking/exploring (hope blooms eternal or whatever)
2-some reports were saying the window (which was only rated to depths of 1300m, about 1900m short of the depth of the Titanic wrecksite) was the failure point, it now appears that somewhere along the hull in the middle of the sub was the failure point (this is due to the hull being made up of multiple different materials, each with their own flex and buckle points under pressure that are different from each other-we figured out in the fucking 60's that submarine hulls should be made of a uniform material specifically to avoid having different points of failure within the structure due to flex/buckle/failure thresholds of different materials)
3-there are two debris fields: a larger one consisting of smaller and lighter debris that drifted further after the implosion and a smaller one consisting of larger and heavier debris that didn't drift very much and mostly sank down after the implosion. I believe the 5 major pieces of debris that were initially found were discovered within the second, smaller debris field. (one of the bell pieces mentioned below was found after the other 5 pieces, making for a total of 6 this morning that have been identified as being part of the sub)
4-the major pieces of debris discovered so far are: part of the pressure chamber (the place where the people were that keeps the pressure inside hospitable to life), parts of the aft and front bell (parts of the container around the pressure chamber to help seal air in and keep inhospitable pressure out), part of the nose and tail cones (the nose cone is the part that opened and had to be bolted shut which is a hilariously bad idea, the tail cone was the goofy looking tear-drop tip on the back end), and part of the landing frame (the thing that you attach hooks and ropes to in order to pull the sub out of the water)
5-one of the passengers, Hamish Harding, has a 37-year-old step-son who is awash in internet currently and honestly he's not worth looking up unless you really like internet drama (also some bonus legal problems including armed robbery and cyberstalking+harassment charges)
6-one of the passengers, the 19-year-old, initially did not want to go on the trip and was reportedly scared of diving but was talked into by his father, another one of the passengers, by framing it as a bonding experience for Father's Day.
7-on of the passengers, the french guy Paul-Henri Nargelot, was the director of "RMS Titanic Inc." a company dedicated to preserving the history of Titanic and personally oversaw the retrieval of 5,000 artifacts from the wreck site (as in, supervised or partook in multiple trips down there specifically for the purpose of taking small things from the wreck to bring them back up to the surface for cleaning and display). He made 37 trips to Titanic in various subs (scientific and commercial) during his lifetime
8-The CEO was an idiot who dismissed or outright ignored concerns from his employees about the sub's materials, the possible stress damage to the sub's materials and body, and had a habit of firing people who kept hounding him about those concerns. He also refused to hire people who were experts in building submarines and instead preferred hiring fresh faces with next to no experience in the field and ignored emails from various authorities who warned him that the submarine was not safe.
9-The company is named "Oceangate" with 0 sense of irony (referring to the watergate scandal wherein illegal shit was done and there was an attempted coverup of said illegal shit) and is currently subject to mulitple lawsuits including: accusations of bad bookkeeping, contract violations (not holding up their end of payment for work completed by contractors), labor law violations including wrongful termination, and minor amounts of wage theft.
also, as of this time, it does not appear that pieces of the sub that scattered and sank impacted the titanic wreck (no damage to the titanic wreck thank [insert celestial force of your choosing here]. though I will note that the debris field of the sub is closer to the bow of the titanic than the stern of the titanic is (the stern is 600m away in a north-ish direction from the bow whereas the sub's debris is 500m away in a south-easty direction) (cardinal directions may be wrong, I'm still half asleep writing this this morning)
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I posted 712 times in 2022
That's 334 more posts than 2021!
597 posts created (84%)
115 posts reblogged (16%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@your-resident-fangirl
@luuuna-rambles
@a-dotrivenitupontop
@defectivegembrain
@aces-and-anime
I tagged 652 of my posts in 2022
Only 8% of my posts had no tags
#nbc community - 284 posts
#community nbc - 273 posts
#communitygifs - 208 posts
#communityedit - 202 posts
#abed nadir - 193 posts
#danny pudi - 188 posts
#troy barnes - 142 posts
#donald glover - 140 posts
#the six idiots - 127 posts
#six idiots gifs - 118 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#also he only specifies about three of the facts and two of them are the clive owen thing and 'i'm more into girls in pyjamas than in lingeri
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
See the full post
514 notes - Posted October 10, 2022
#4
See the full post
517 notes - Posted October 22, 2022
#3
See the full post
656 notes - Posted April 16, 2022
#2
David and Taika arguing about shoes, an ongoing saga
813 notes - Posted May 9, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
So you're telling me it's canon that Troy Barnes:
Thinks Abed is “pretty adorable”
Refers to Abed as his “other half”
Really likes butt stuff
Holds hands with Abed constantly, within the first few weeks of knowing him
Thinks the pride party held at Greendale is “pretty dope” (And is fucking grinning ear to ear as he says it I Iove this boy)
Literally cannot conceive of the idea of dating a woman, where polyamory with Abed isn’t involved (There’s someone out there for us)
Has a Tumblr blog dedicated to Clive Owen, the contents of which is at least somewhat embarressing
Is upset that he can't have Abed's babies
Moves in with Abed, despite earlier agreeing with him that best friends moving in together would be a bad idea
Doesn’t bat an eye at his girlfriend referring to Abed as “your boyfriend”
Refers to “telling the group about his dance lessons” as “coming out”
Lives in a two bedroom appartment, yet shares one room with Abed
Dresses up as Freddie Mercury, and immediately goes to Abed to ask if he thinks he’s hot
Literally says “I love you” to Abed
And my mum still thinks I’m reading too much into this???
1,183 notes - Posted September 11, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#blog i reblogged from second most was myself lol#that would be embarresing if i didn't have a sideblog specifically for reblogging things
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Movie and lyrics Promt
here is a list of prompts for Thomas I made based on movie quotes. I would love to write them, so feel free. You can ask for fluff, angst and now even smut, tho the smuts will be posted on my other account dedicated to them (@sluttyercobra ). If you have any ideas or have a specific scenario in my mind, feel free to tell me.
I'll write each prompt only once, and the ones already used will be highlighted.
Things I don't write : anything related to SA, pregnancy loss, abusive relationship. For the smuts I won't write anything with underage partner, non-consensual sex, age regression.
I also added a list of prompt based on lyrics (also for Thomas). Those are prompts that have posted in August but flopped so I am hoping to get request this time around ☺️
Movie Quotes
A) “Why did you call me at the office today?”
“I had nothing to do. I wanted to hear your voice.”
In the mood for love
B) “I can’t remember anything without you”
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
C) „ I want you.”
“I want you too.”
“Forever.”
“Forever. There is no life without you.“
Mister nobody
D) “Do you ever miss your regular life?”
Dallas buyer club
E) „You two had a nice friendship.”
“Yeah...”
Call Me By Your Name
F) “I love your hands, they are so gentle.”
Two lovers
G) “ I just don't think I have what you're looking for.”
“I think you do, actually.”
“What makes you think so?”
“That smile for one thing.”
Velvet Goldmine
H) „What, you really believe that? That everything's fated?”
Before sunset
I) “Truth is: I’m just an idiot who has been extravagantly unlucky”
3000 years of longing
J) “I'm tired. I don't want to hurt anymore and for some reason when I'm with you, it just hurts the both of us.”
Everything, everywhere, all at once
K) „ I've always loved you.”
“And I have always known.”
Cleopatra
L) " Can you dance?"
"A little. The cha-cha-cha."
Mamma Roma
M) “See me. See me now”
Dracula
N) “You are not the man I know”
Annette
O) „ Confucius said, "Marriage is a bottomless pit of sorrow that makes you forget who you are."”
„ He did not.”
Palm Springs
P) “You shouldn't treat me like a dog! You were just amusing yourself.”
Maurice
Q) „ What are you thinking?”
„ I'm thinking how happy I am.”
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
R) „ It's not meant to hurt you.”
„ It does.”
Out of Africa
S) “I tried.”
“And the more you tried, the more I wanted you.”
Interview with a vampire
T) “I loved her so. And she knew what I did. She knew all the fucking stupid things I'd done. But the love... was stronger than anything you can think of. “
Magnolia
Lyrics:
1) You can't read my mind, so read my lips
2) You got what you been asking for
3) Bet I know what you're up to
4 )You just pretend there isn't a problem
5) I wish I could believe you'd never wrong me
6) I got kinda drunk and told her that I liked her
7) Say the word, your wish is my command
8) I think I'm falling and there's nothing I can do
9) I miss seeing the red on your face when I made you blush
10) I can't do this alone
11) Baby if you let me I won’t hesitate
12) I've never met anyone / Quite like you before
13) It was good what we did yesterday
14) However far away I will always love you
15) I can't decide / If I love you more at morning / Or I love you more at night
16) I wish I weren’t single now
17) Your eyes told me, "Girl, come ride me"
18) I didn't know that you were lonely
19) What have I gotta do to make you love me?
20) No teasing, you waited long enough
#thomas raggi#please dont let it flop I really wanna write those#måneskin#maneskin#thomas raggi x reader#prompt list
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Treacherous, a Bridgerton Story
Chapter 11
Summery: their horny idiots in love your honor
Warning: smut
Word count: 2.8k
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 12
I paced around in the drawing room unsure if she was going to show, just when I had given up I herd footsteps. I was ready to come up with a excuse as to why I'm awake at this time of the night, thankfully it was Aurora. She was dressed in a white nightgown this time my eyes trailed down her body as always they stopped at her breasts admiring them as if it were the first time I've seen them all over again.
"I wasn't sure you would be here,” I admitted.
"Me either, after what happened in the garden I was worried we would have to stop."
"Hastings is many things but he wouldn't tell a soul. He would only tell Daphne if she ever broached the subject with him."
"I don't think that Daphne will want to speak about her brother and his rakeish actives."
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"Will you want to speak of me and my rakeish activities?"
"No, I'd rather partake in them." She pulled me down for a kiss her hands gripping onto my shirt. I wrapped my arms around her one of my hands caressing the feeling of her exposed skin on her upper back. She stared walking back to the couch stopping when her knees hit it. We only broke apart for her to lie down, I gazed in awe at her black hair cascading down her body. I gently ran my fingers through her hair my thumb massaging the exposed skin on her chest. The other fingers slowly moving the fabric off of her so I could see and touch more or her breast.
"Anthony." She gasped "we shouldn't, we got caught tonight." She's right we shouldn't,
"is that what you want? To stop?" I asked pulling my hand away.
"No, I never want you to stop."
"I spent most of my life dedicating myself to my family without so much as a thought about myself. This is the first decision I've made in years for myself, yes we should be more careful and I'm willing to work on that. But tonight you look positively gorgeous in that nightgown and it's not fair I couldn't rip the gown you were wearing earlier off."
"You will have plenty of other gowns to rip off to make up for."
"Starting with this one." I responded true to my word I carelessly ripped at the top exposing her breasts to me. I immediately dove in my mouth on one while my hand grabbed the other. She gasped in surprise then it turned into a moan.
"Anthony." Her moan was cut short, she wrapped her legs around me
"Anthony please, I need you." My other hand dipped down only to realize she once again wasn't wearing underneath and they she was soaking wet.
"Gorgeous, so gorgeous." I looked up at her as I inserted another finger, I stroked her cunt loving the face she made even bending her head back.
"Your so gorgeous like this, my lady."
"My lord, your fingers- ah fuck their so good." Her face full of pleasure and I wasn't even inside her yet, I can't think about they just yet I would soill my trousers.
"You drive me crazy especially when you walk around not wearing anything underneath."
"As if you don't drive me equally crazy, especially when you try to order me around." She gasped loudly "oh my fuck, yes Anthony right there."
She gripped my hair and lightly tugged at it.
"Are you close?" I asked picking up the pace.
"Yes, keep going just like that."
"Who's the one giving orders now?" I asked she smirked.
"I like the appeal I understand why you do it so much." She moaned "Anthony I'm gonna- she gasped and let out a moan before she could finish her sentence, her juices running down my fingers. I stepped away to wipe my fingers with a handkerchief then returned to the couch. She laid there her legs sprawled out for me her cheeks red and a smile on her face, she looked positively radiant. Is this what love feels like? I'm wondering how I'm looking at her, like she is the only women in the world that matters, the only person that matters that I would want to capture this moment forever.
"Take off your clothes and lay down" she said standing up. I was quick to follow since her last idea turned out so well. She made a show of slowly slipping out of her gown,my eyes were glued to her body at every inch of skin that got exposed as the gown came off her body. She cleared her throat and I looked at the gown in her hand, she dropped it to the floor then walked back over to the couch. My hands inching to grab her, any part of her. I didn't have to wait long she got on top of me my hand immediately grabbing at her hips. I moaned when she thrusted herself inside me. She placed her hands on my stomach and slowly started thrusting, my hands gripped her hips even harder.
"You look so good like this." I said my eyes gazing up and down her body.
"I wanted to switch it up, take charge for a change you already do some much for everyone else I wanted to make you feel good."
"Your doing a wonderful job, keep going." Aurora picked up the pace. Her hair cascading her body, her hands gripping the back of the couch.
"Aurora I'm-
"I know, tell me when to move." I didn't, I wanted to finish inside her just like this. I knew the risk would be too great, if she came to be with child then it could be the start of a scandal. We would be forced to wed and that's not how I would want to start a marriage with Aurora.
"Aurora, you need to get off." She followed through but quickly put her hand on my cock.
"Fuck!" I swore then gasped as she moved her hand up and down, it didn't take long for me to finish all over her hand. My breathing was heavy, I looked at her to find hers was the same.
"Do you" she paused for a minute, allowing her breathing to catch up and return to a normal pace before continuing "do you have a handkerchief or something I can use to wipe off my hands?"
"My suit jacket." I replied. She walked back over to me a smile on her face, she caressed a hand on my cheek. I looked into her eyes hopping that she may be mirroring the same reaction I have towards her.
"No women has ever been on top of me before."
"No? How was it?"
"Amazing, although you do need to warn me next time you put your hand or mouth on my cock, not that I would protest." She smiled nor leaving her spot from the couch, normally we don't stay to long afterwards, fearing we may get caught at any moment but this time was different. It was quite a rare thing in the Bridgerton household and I wanted her close to me even just for a moment.
"Lay down with me." She raised an eyebrow,
"Five minutes I promise you, I just... I want you close to me."
"Ok" she must have known how important this was I was rarely vulnerable with anyone but as always Aurora was the expectation. She rested her hand on my chest my hands caressing her hair.
"No women huh, interesting."
"That's what you want to talk about?"
"It's kind of sad that you never allowed yourself a moment to let someone take care of you, to give you pleasure without them experiencing it as well."
My eyes widened "Aurora did you-
"I did" I sighed
"Good." She kissed me on the lips "your always looking out for everyone."
"It's my duty."
"Yes and one you took on much too soon. I admire you, the way you take on your role, how seriously you look after your family especially after Hyacinth was born, you truly love them."
"Of course, don't all families love each other?" She bit her lip. Damn it how could I be so careless? I opened my mouth to apologize, "Aurora I-
"He hit my mother" I froze.
"She told me, after I was born they had a huge fight. He wanted a son as any man does but he wanted an heir not a daughter. They tried for a year and nothing, my mother never got pregnant again. So he hit her, he called her many names none of which I can repeat." I put a hand to her cheek.
"You don't have to say any more."
"You deserve to know Anthony, why I won't marry. After he hit her he barged out of the door, she never saw him again."
"Aurora-
"When I got a letter that he wanted to see me I almost burned it. I didn't remember his face and I never cared to. I liked that I didn't know what the man who made my mother miserable look like. But then I read it and found out that he was dying, the letter contained an address they wasn't far from where I was staying at the time so I went there. He told me he wishes I was never born, that I am a waste and that all I'm good for is marrying a man and having his children. So I looked him dead in the eyes and told him I'll never do any of those things. I'll live my life bound by what I want and not being controlled by any man. I watched the life drain out of his eyes satisfied that I got the last word."
"Thank you for telling me, I would never ask you to if you didn't want to."
"I know, it would be unfair of me to not tell you. You and your family have done so much for me and my mother I don't know where we would be without you" I smiled.
"That was all my father, he immediately planned for you and your mother to be taken care of."
"I know you don't talk about him much, even less about the day he passed but I went you to know that he would be proud of you. Of everything you've done for your family."
"I don't think he would be to proud of me right now." I admitted.
"I'd like to think your father had a few affairs of his own before he met your mother." I scrunched my face trying not to picture my father engaging in any sort of activity with a woman even my mother, the little mix dared to laugh at my discomfort.
"You find my discomfort amusing?" She nodded her head.
"Whatever shall I do with you?" I sighed, she broke from my grasp and stood up.
"I think you have a few ideas she turned around my eyes dropped to her backside. She picked up her nightgown and slipped it back on, "the sleeve is torn."
"Oops." I said not caring at all that the garment got ripped, she shook her head.
"Good night Anthony."
"Good night Aurora." I watched her walk away her story still fresh in my mind. It makes sense now why she wouldn't want to marry or bring a child into this world, I understand her anger at her father if he was still alive I'd track him down and punch him in the face myself for how he treated Aurora and her mother. Aurora rarely talks about her mother I only remember her as being as kind, carrying and independent as Aurora. I sighed knowing sleep won't come easy to me tonight I went to my room only to grab a cigar I kept hidden in my closet. I try not to smoke at home but there are times like theres where I desperately need something to take the edge off.
I sat outside on a old swing, I smiled fondly of pushing my younger siblings on this very swing. Once again the image of a little boy this time accompanied by a little girl with curly black hair and blue eyes were swinging on the swings.
"Are you smoking?"
I broke out of my dream and turned to see Benedict who seemed both surprised and amused.
"I had a long day."
"Yes tea with the Queen must have been horrible, or do you mean dancing with Aurora? Oh you must be referring to all the men who you glared at when they even so much looked at her." I let out a irritated groan, "they looked at her like she was a prized cow up for auction." Benedict didn't respond I sighed then took another drag.
"If I tell you something you have to promise you won't tell anyone else."
"Brother do you really think so little of me that I can not keep a secret?" I rolled my eyes.
"I mean it you can't tell anyone."
"You sound serious brother, what is it."
"I'm in love with Aurora, I think a small part of me has always been in love with her. I kissed her at Daphnes ball and we've been." I sighed "frequently fucking each other every chance we get. I then discovered my true feelings for her and now I'm in love with a women who I can never marry."
Benedict was silent, I was actually surprised he didn't immediately shout out that he knew it and he told me so.
"Care to say anything?"
"I know."
"Yeah I know you know I'm in love with her it seems everyone else knows besides me and Aurora."
"No I know you two have been going at it like rabbits."
"How-
"I herd you the other night in the dining room."
"Oh"
"Yeah oh, also Colin herd you today in Auroras study I don't know what you two were doing but I think you scarred him for life, he's sworn off women now.
"Yeah let's see how long that lasts, Hastings caught us in the gardens tonight."
"Is he going to tell Daphne?"
"Only if she asks so we're safe for now."
"Yeah for now, won't be for much longer if you two keep going at it on every surface."
"Ok that's a bit extreme."
"Is it?" I was silent for a moment Benedict smirked
"I will knock you off this swing."
"No you won't, because your in love."
"Oh shut up."
"She loves you too." I scoffed
"She doesn't, and that's where my problem lies."
"Really? It's not just the the fact that she boldly announced to us today that she will never marry?" He's enjoying this too much, "I'm happy your enjoying seeing my suffer."
"Stop being overdramatic. There's not a doubt in my mind that Aurora feels the same way."
"Really?" I asked
"Definitely, now why now that's the mystery."
"Shut up" I replied. It was silence for a moment before I spoke. "She told me why she would never marry, I understand why." Benedict didn't press for details knowing I would never tell him, Aurora was kind enough to trust me with the truth and I will never speak of it to anyone unless she has granted me permission to do so.
"So what are you going to do now?" I shrugged my shoulders.
"I can't tell her."
"Yes you can, you may not see it Anthony but I do and so does everyone else. I see it whenever you walk into a room, whenever your spending time with Hyacinth or Gregory, and whenever you two are dancing, I can see the love she has for you."
"I can't ruin our friendship like that."
"Brother you ruined it the second you kissed her" I stood up
"Good night brother."
I walked away trying not to let his words etch themselves into my mind.
Benedict
I sighed knowing I had crossed some sort of line but it needed to be said, Idiots the both of them. The plan seems to be working, but it seems a new plan may need to be made. One that involves Aurora and realizing her feelings that is if she hasn't already.
This one may be a bit more challenging, Aurora rarely opens up about her feelings another thing her and Anthony have in common. Even when her mother died the only one that saw her cry was Anthony, she would be held up in her room for days.
Not unexpected but she wouldn't see any of us, only Anthony for weeks. When we did finally see her she went on about like everything was perfectly normal. Like she had represented her feelings and shoved them down. How these two not realize their perfect for each other I will never understand. I swear I'm gonna to loose my mind trying to get them to see that.
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April 1, 2024- 111.4
I did measurements today too. I’ll share a comparison of loss in a week.
Somehow I lost .2 in 5 days even though I was eating like hell. I fully expected to weigh in and see 116, but no. I can properly assume that came from me being more active at work the past week. 3 days a week. Constantly moving around 5-6 hours of the 7-8 hour shift is pretty good cardio, so technically I’m getting paid to do a 7-8 cardio workout. They don’t have me on truck, and probably won’t for a while and I need to get stronger so I can help load carpets without looking like a piss ant so tomorrow starts of floor workouts again. 7 minute stretches, One Chloe ting video and the rest of my 42 minute span dedicated to weights for my core, back and arms. That at least once a week. Next month we’ll get a gym membership so at least I can be getting treadmill time in AND since this month is going well I’ll walk into the gym already being thin at 96-91 pounds. I can run on the treadmill on and off and build my endurance without looking like an idiot or making the treadmill shake all crazy, hardly a sound as a pad along. I can do the leg machine and stuff with my partner after a few times of going.. nothing crazy.. and my June.. I’ll have some definition built up from my own efforts and home + the movement at work. It’s slight, but even now my tummy looks slightly better from pushing carts and fast walking myself around a giant ass store, so I have to keep that up. They haven’t seen me past 111.4 in a while. When I moved in I was 123.. when I saw them a year before I was 101-104… so they’ll see me smaller than that in a month. I’m so excited.
My hair was dyed purple last month and then it faded and has been brown. I haven’t liked it too much… I miss my blonde hair… which it hasn’t been in a few months. Thought I was going to wait for it to grow out, but it doesn’t seem like it’s going to fade much anymore… I won’t be able to wear my pigtails again until probably October ( 6 months wooo) but until then I at least want my hair color back so I feel like me. Gosh.. I assume I’ll hit 84 in end June or early July.. 4 months of maintenance of 84-90 is dire to me. It’ll be hard but I’ll figure it out. I’ll stay strong. I’ll stay committed. I’ll stay disciplined.
They’re laying on me asleep right now. I was reading but I wanted to type this stuff out. I hate how jealous I get when we watch movies… it’s something I’ve done in past relationships… just not been able to watch shows because I’m so self conscious that the girls on screen look so much better than me… sexier and more talented. He wanted to watch moulin rouge and I could have done it. We’ve watched movies like Roxanne and burlesque back when I was 10 pounds heavier, but sometimes if I get too much in my head I just can’t. They were talking about admiring the female form with that glisten in their eyes and while I knew they’re half ass joking I also know it’s a big part of why they’ve aged to watch it.. it’s about pretty girls performing… not to mention they’ve been to an actual showing where the girls were half naked and I had to watch them talk about that. I have to stop doing that and shutting shit down. I have to dive in and know, they might be entertained by what they are seeing, but I’m the main fucking event. I’ll have to do some Imagine about it or something where they can’t keep their eyes off me.
After we finish cuddling like this ( which I’ve really been enjoying the past few times we’ve done it) I’ll finish my cup of coffee. It’ll land me at 139 for the day.
I had dried strawberries and bananas with hibiscus hello kitty tea for dinner while the had a sandwich and soup, alongside banana pudding. I had a purple monster before they came home and two strawberries.
I threw up what I ate this morning when they left so it doesn’t count ( I’m not b/p anymore tho) a roll, vitamins, Oreos, Fritos, 5 eggs with cheese… revolting…
But I’m being a good girl now… it was merely symbolic.
The final purge if you will.
I’ve been really weak all day because of it.
But workouts tomorrow, organizing some music and camera roll, before I let myself color and music the rest of the time.
It’ll all be worth it. I just have to be so incredibly mindful these 30 days. Tracking weigh ins and measurements once a week will keep me accountable too. I just want progress, and I swear to god, I need to at least notice a difference soon when they go to pick me up and carry me around the house. I know they’ll refrain from saying I feel lighter if they can… as to not trigger me… but they’ve called me a pig in the past without thinking about it until after and rushing to apologize so why shouldn’t a word of surprise slip out once I deserve it too?
I WAS a pig, eating at night all drunk and stupid, on absurd auto pilot when they left the house, but not anymore.
The goal really is to hear it off their lips.
For my old friend to see me and say it.
For my group chat friends to not be able to utter another word at first when they see me again.
For my dad to ask if I’ve been eating alright.
For my hair dresser to ask me if I’ve been alright or say I look tired again.
I need to see the shock in their eyes.
I need to feel the way they grab and hold me, pick me up and marvel at me.
When I give my old partner his stuff I found, I need him to worry about me and ask how much I weigh now.
I need to see a reaction to my progress.
I need to make that kind of progress.
I will.
🤍🩵🪽
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I posted 28,950 times in 2022
That's 3,089 more posts than 2021!
59 posts created (0%)
28,891 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@fiddlepickdouglas
@midnightisquiet
@leonspardas
@izmul
@pixievivi
I tagged 21,947 of my posts in 2022
Only 24% of my posts had no tags
#stranger things - 1,793 posts
#marvel - 1,486 posts
#dc - 1,414 posts
#star wars - 1,122 posts
#anime - 688 posts
#witcher - 577 posts
#the witcher - 576 posts
#resident evil - 346 posts
#our flag means death - 345 posts
#merlin - 336 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#also we don't know these people personally stop trying to claim some wierd version of friendship with them because you saw one show of them
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I'm so funny and right
55 notes - Posted June 7, 2022
#4
Yes I ship Eddie with Chrissy and yes I ship Eddie with Steve too it's called having two hands and I am flexible
67 notes - Posted July 6, 2022
#3
Me, watching The Batman (2022, dir. Matt Reeves): Everyone in Gotham wishes to know Bruce Wayne carnally
90 notes - Posted March 4, 2022
#2
Dude no way you're an actual critical role fan if ur only watching the cartoon like I think it should be mandatory that fake idiots like you should watch the actual source material before claiming you're a fan of the show like people who watch the web series put in the work and dedication to have the honor of being a true fan you're just a fake bitch who doesn't know shit
I don't know, watching the cartoon it was really easy to get into without watching the og crit role? I know bits and pieces here and there but I just don't know if I have the attention span for it
So far everyone has been pretty cool about it? And I'm sure there's a spark notes version somewhere if I absolutely have to watch it, right? Just because the episodes are four hours long and I find it a little intimidating
113 notes - Posted August 7, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I know we're all excited for Zagreus and Melinoe siblings shenanigans but consider it was just revealed that Moros and Nemesis exist in canon, who are also Nyx's children so how do you think Thanatos, Hypnos and Charon feel about suddenly having two more siblings as well?
Like is keeping siblings secret an Olympic fucking sport down there?
177 notes - Posted December 9, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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