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professionalfangirl24601 · 3 years

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AI continues the Riko roast attempt N2

in this one you'll see still no Riko, confused Kevin and Neil's questionable PR skills.

"You know, I get it," Neil said. "Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court—yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time. I know it's not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you're physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don't think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago. So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone. We'll come to your games in peace, and we'll buy your gear. But we'll only do that if you step aside and give me another go at this thing called life."

Neil watched Kevin in silence for several minutes before deciding that—for once—he had to say something. "Kevin, you're great on the court, and the star players in this league who don't know how to act around each other deserve a big applause. You're a great teammate, a solid community person, and a great player. And I'd take a red-hot Dirk Nowitzki in the Finals any day over you. I like a lot of the things that you do on and off the court. I just don't like you. And I'd really appreciate if you could just not be yourself around us. At least then we can have a conversation."

"Nah," Kevin replied after a long pause. "I'm going to be myself."

Taken aback, Neil nodded. "All right, Kevin. You can be yourself. But, you know, a few rules. First of all, you'll have to leave for all practice and shootarounds, and for team meals. I don't want you fucking up the guy's practice routine or spoiling his warm-up routine. And I don't want you parading around half-naked around the arena, much less take my job from me. And while we're on the subject of nudity, I can't have you acting like a jackass with a blown-up Pepsi banner on my back like some sort of tramp."

"Got it," Kevin replied. "I promise to do my best."

"Good. Now, I also need you to tone down your sarcasm, petulance, and dry wit," Neil added, "and stop throwing your mouth open like some sort of baby duck whenever you're excited about something. It's embarrassing. It makes you look like a little punk kid who's already finished with elementary school. Let's see, since you've become a star, your teammates have won five more playoff series and won one more NBA championship, which makes you the winningest player in the history of the team."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm the best."

Neil sighed. "Yes, Kevin, you are, and you know it. You're also the most hated. I know you probably don't want me to tell you this, but your public is starting to catch on to your royal punkiness. Fans are starting to ask when you're going to stop messing around and start being the good-natured soul that you truly are. And while they're asking, they're not as excited when they see you coming to the game anymore. Now that they're no longer getting everything for free, they're demanding a fraction of your paycheck and coming to games only if they've got a death wish.

A quick look at your recent numbers shows that you're never gonna be able to sustain your market value, so you're losing sponsors faster than a Zippy the Pinhead cartoon. I think it's time that you made some more changes to your image and get back to being the class clown. You're going to have to wear these goofy glasses that are now a part of your uniform. You're going to start speaking in a baby voice and begging reporters for softballs as if you were some poor, innocent baby who just wants to be noticed. Then, you're going to bring every scrap of lunch meat and grease-stained Kleenex into the locker room with you, and you're going to start sucking on garlic-flavored toothpicks as if you were some cheap wannabe poser trying to play the part of an intellectual.

And last, but not least, you're going to start jerking off and spraying your entire body with strong-smelling hairspray before going out for a road game, and after the game, you're going to do it again. And then, when you get home, you're going to do it some more. You'll also start sniffing your own armpits, licking them, and making weird comments like, 'Look at that freakin' blue streak in my dreary locks.' You're going to stand in front of your mirror and constantly ogle yourself in the toilet bowl. You're going to call yourself Ginger, gussy yourself up, and belt out 'White Wedding' in the shower, and if you have a date, you're going to purposely rip her clothes off and pretend that it was your idea all along."

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to ignore everything you just said, Neil," Kevin replied, trying to speak without giggling.

"Fine. So, then, what's your big idea, Kevin?"

"Oh, this is priceless." Kevin giggled maniacally, and his teammates yelled for him to shut the hell up.

"You're totally gonna be in movies," Neil said. "You're going to play the bad guy, but make sure you get the girl in the end. You're going to go undercover for weeks and sneak into death-metal concert events, where you're gonna stage fights, mess up everyone's hair, and drink bleach while being the absolute worst thing to ever hit a concert stage. People are gonna love it. You're going to start releasing dark, angst-filled folk-rock ballads, full of powerful emotion and heartache. You're going to start writing scathing criticism of the president and your teammates on your blog, but under a false identity so that nobody will recognize your name when you're actually being serious.

You're gonna get married, have two kids, and then have to suffer through a divorce that's so nasty that your ex-wife's going to get remarried within a month of the divorce. You're going to get beaten up regularly by her new boyfriend, who will be an enormous douche, and then have a car accident, and your legs will be broken so badly that you're going to need crutches. You're going to lose your job as a sportswriter, and then your wife's going to get fired from her job as a waitress because your friends will keep inviting her to your games. You're going to have to drive an old junker car that is crammed with mismatched parts, and you're going to have to flip yourself through traffic lights and weave in and out of oncoming cars while wearing a suit that's way too big for you. You'll bring hundreds of dollars of Taco Bell and Tostitos lunch meat into your home, and you'll be constantly sniffing your fingers like a dog, but somehow, that's going to work for you."

"Why don't you shut up?" Kevin demanded.

"I'm telling you, it's the perfect plan," Neil said Kevin finally stopped laughing and his cheeks began to redden.

"I'm sorry, but I don't get it."

"Well, all I can say is that you're damn lucky that the Sacramento Kings are playing against the San Jose Sharks this season, otherwise I'd lock you in your room right now, and I'd make you eat a full eight-course dinner," Neil replied. "I don't think you're ready for a Gregg Popovich type of coaching. I'll let you take the next couple of days to ponder this information."

"Uh, okay," Kevin said. "Thanks, Neil," he added quickly as he ran off to the bathroom to vomit in the toilet.

#i also tried to do one with Wymack's motivational speech and one of the lines it came up with was #the public thinks you're enough of a clown to play the games but too much of a pussy to actually win them #but then the page reloaded suddenly :(#aftg #neil josten #kevin day #aftg shitpost #funny #AI technology #this is the last one i swear

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whatshername-please · 4 years

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Out of the Water - Chapter IV

Synopsis: You were very proud to be a mermaid, thank you very much. You didn't want to be where the people were. Actually, you'd rather avoid it. Defending the merfolk was the biggest goal in your life... well, it was until you meet a certain pirate... it seems that your family really had a thing for humans, after all. Not that you'd ever admit it...

Pairing: Harry x reader

Warnings: none? Possibly grammar mistakes?

Part 4 of ?

Word Count: 2975

A/N: English isn't my first language, so I'll probably mess up some tenses, grammar and stuff. Go easy on me, please. Feedback is always appreciated

_________________________________________

You weren't an expert, but you had already seen that tree twenty minutes ago, and that rock, and that berry bush. Either Dude had no idea where he was leading the group or Ben was moving around really fast. Maybe, you should go after Fairy Godmother's wand instead, it was the most powerful magical object in Auradon, after all. If it had turned a pumpkin into a golden carriage, it would help an angst teenager to overcome her evil phase.

Gil stopped to eat some berries, and he was completelty mesmerized by them. The blonde boy even suggested that you played the icebreaker, praising Jay right after. The compliment took Jafar's son by surprise but he went on with it, and, in a matter of instants, he and Gil started chatting like childhood friends. Someone didn't seem very thrilled with the boys new found connection, though. Harry, whose attitude showed that he couldn't bare being left out, didn't waste time on making a scoff comment about the conversation.

As for you, it was gold to see the Harry's expression when Jay and Gil kept talking like they didn't hear the pirate's bitter words.

"They completely ignored you" you glanced over him just to see his smirk fading away from his face and turning into a scowl. Harry Hook didn't like to be overlooked, you could tell for sure, and you'd take advantage of that to bother him a little.

He deserved it, anyway.

"They are not even paying attention to you, how sad" you added, just to push his buttons a bit further.

It worked, he glared at you in such a way that made you glad that looks couldn't kill, otherwise you would have burst into flames. You took no notice of him, evil faces didn't scare you.

Hary catched a berry with his hook and ate it in a very dramatic way, drawing all attention to him. That guy was all about aesthetic, wasn't he?

"PS, your mutt went that way" he told Carlos and it was only then that everybody noticed that Dude wasn't around anymore. The boys followed to where Harry had motioned, leaving you and Jay, who grabbed a few more berries, behind.

"Look at you, all sociable and making friends" you teased him.

"Weren't you talking to Harry like, a second minute ago?" he threw your little chitchat with the pirate right in your face.

"I only want to get to know Uma's friends" you defended yourself, shrugging your shoulders.

"Why?" he questioned, intrigued by your answer.

Damn, you forgot you weren't supposed to know Uma at all.

"Well... you said it yourself and I quote, 'I have this thing about protecting every mermaid of the world', so if Mal keeps her promise and really let the VKs off the Isle, it means Uma will be staying in Auradon, and she is the daughter of Ursula, therefore, she is part of the merpeople who are under the protection of Atlantica and..."

"Okay, okay! I get it" he put his hand over your mouth, knowing very well that when you started talking about this subject, nothing could stop you.

In other situation that, wouldn't have stopped you to adduce your speech about the Isle and the rules of the sea, but since this was exacttly the reaction you expected to draw from him, you just pushed his hand aside.

You went after Dude, who finally seemed to be on the trail of Ben's whereabouts. Or it was what you thought, because all you could see were trees and more trees, and...

You heard a loud growl and out of nowhere a buffalo monster jumped from behind a tree, pouncing on the little squad. Good thing you all had good reflexes, because with the size of the claws of this over-grown furry ball, he would have ripped your guts out in the blink of an eye.

Now, more than ever, you regretted not going back to Atlantica.

What the hell was this thing?

Oh wait...

The blue and yellow combinantion...

The clothes...

Oh...

That thing was Ben.

Gosh, Audrey didn't take easily their break up, did she? You made a mental note of never ever dating her if this was how she treated her exes.

"Use your magic " Carlos cried out, urging you to do something about your beasty friend.

"My magic won't do any good. He needs true love kiss or something like that, and I am defenitely not a furry" you pratically shouted the last part, getting ready to defend yourself in case Ben decided to attack you again.

It was Gil who noticed something was wrong with the beast's hand.

"He's got a boo-boo that's why he is so cranky... My dad said his dad did not handle pain well, at all" he talked about his father's murder attempt on King Beast as if he was talking about the weather.

How precious was this boy?

Ben snarled at you again, and Carlos stepped in. Carefully, he approached the cursed boy, soothing him. You expected Ben to pluck out Carlos eyes or something, but the VK managed to pull the thorn out of Ben's furry hand with mastery, instead.

Nice...

Now what?

Out of nowhere, a blast of water flew right past your head and splashed all over Ben's beasty body. Slowly, he started to look less like a beast and more like an ordinary human being. You looked over your shoulder and saw Jane, who was holding a water blaster, it became quite clear that the Fairy Godmother's daughter was the one responsible for undoing partially Ben's curse. Who needed a magical wand when you had enchanted lake water, right?

You and Jay rushed to help Ben, holding him up and taking him to sit down on a rock nearby. The poor boy seemed to just have woken up from a nightmare. However, not even the enchanted water was strong enought to lift the spell completely, but it was funny to watch Jane splashing another blast of water on Ben's face in hopes of making his new grown beard and fangs to disappear.

"Don't worry" you reassured him "I'm sure Mal won't mind"

"Do you like it?" Ben grinned cheerfully and ran his hand over his beard, expecting your approval.

You hummed, not sure if he wanted to hear the truth. You looked away from your friend and saw Harry hitting on Jane and a jealous and protective Carlos interceding on her behalf.

You rolled your eyes. Being in Auradon was always like entering into some cheesy soap opera. The drama, the angst, the musical numbers that came out of nowhere...

While Jay and Carlos explained to Jane and a very confused Ben everything that had happened up to that point, you decide to stay away from the conversation to avoid questions that could lead them to realize you had helped Uma. Not that you were afraid of them, but if your grandfather knew about that, he would have a fit and King Triton's rage was feared in all seven seas and beyond. So, there you were again, left to talk to the villain kids who, although you weren't sure why, appeared to be a little apprehensive since Ben joined the group. Then again, it could be just your impression.

"Are you enjoying Auradon so far?" you asked the boys.

Gil went on a rant about what he liked so far, giving examples and detalied descriptions of flowers, grapes, threes, berries and all the things that you had in Auaradon and they didn't have back on the Isle, which was basically everything. He also said something about penguins and going on a jungle cruise with Jay, but you didn't pay attention because Harry leaned over you with that stupid smug grin of his.

"It's not as boring as I thought it would be" did he really have to come this close just to say that? You were pretty sure that his life's mission was to be as annoying as he could.

"Really? Everybody is cursed..." you replied, but it only made his grin to grow wider.

"Exactly"

You shook your head, what a weirdo.

"Hey" Gil called your name, making both you and Harry to turn your heads in his direction at the same time "Do you think Ben will kick us back to the Isle?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Harry stiffen up and his confident expression fade away.

Was it possible that they were worried that Ben wouldn't allow the kids to come off the Isle as Mal had promised?

"No!" you set their minds at rest "Ben may seem a bit innocent, but he is compassionate and very smart. The VK Program was idealized by him and even if people didn't agree with it, he put his foot down. I know Ben and I've annoyed him long enough about this matter, so I am sure he won't abandon the Isle. Also, Evie will kill him if he shuts down the program... Thus, I think you're good"

More than that, you would never let him put Uma back on the Isle and if he did that, it would become your personal goal to make him regret every decision he ever made in his life. Actually, if Ben dared to back down, you'd raise hell.

Finally, you arrived at Evie's home and in the right time! You've been walking on land for too long and starting to feel a little dehydrated. All you wanted to do was to come in and have a glass of water. Luckily, the girls were already waiting for you at the door and, as you got closer, they greeted the group, glad that everyone was alive and safe. Uma even teased Mal about Ben's fangs. Funny how a few hours earlier they were at each other's throats and now it was like they had always been friends.

"You okay?" you felt Uma's hand on your shoulder and looked at her, smiling.

"Yes, of course. Just feeling a bit dried. Have I mentioned how much I hate being ashore?"

"I don't know. Maybe a thousand times, just every single day since we met. 'Uma, the human world is a nightmare. Humans are so annoying and stinky, swimming with dolphings is so much better than anything else they have up there' " she made an impression of you, putting her hand on her forehead dramatically.

You groaned.

"Don't mock my pain, and I never said that. You know I much rather swim with rays, they're way more friendly than dolphins. Also, I do not speak like that".

"But the attitude is on point" she winked.

Then, it was decided that Jane, Gil and Doug would go after Fairy Godmother, who surely had become a stone statue like everybody else, otherwise she'd have appeared by now. Or maybe not, after a 16 years old boy was crowned King of Auradon you stopped believing adults had any idea what to do. Therefore, Fairy Godmother could very well be drinking tea while expecting that a bunch of teenagers would solve all the problems.

As soon as you entered Evie's cottage, you went straight to the kitchen. Getting the biggest cup you found, you filled it with water and, to give it an extra punch, you added some salt. It was the closest thing you had to ocean's water, anyway. The glass was almost touching your lips; unfortunately, everything went wrong.

Harry Hook literally came out of nowhere and took the glass from your hands, you tried to warn him against it but it was too late, the next moment he had already drunk all its content. You'd have laughed when his carefree expression changed into one of utter disgust as he swallowed the water, if he hadnt spitted out all of it on your face soon after.

You did what any sane person would have done: you started yelling at him.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?" Harry screamed as loud as you "What kind of person drink salt water?" his pained expression showed that the taste still didn't have left his mouth.

"A mermaid, you barbarian!!" you shouted, doing your best to dry your face off.

"Were you trying to poison me?"

You scoffed at the pirate's words. Was he really accusing you? You had to give him kudos for his guts, because he lacked any commom sense.

"YOU STOLE MY FUCKING WATER!!" you shouted at the top of your lungs. If everyone in Auradon wasn't sleeping or a statue, they would have been able to hear all the nasty things you said to Harry, to which he replied accordingly.

It took you both a while to notice a third voice joining the riot, it was Uma's. Upon hearing the shouts and death threats, the girl entered the kitchen to find her best friends acting like angry sharks. It was almost amusing to see how fast Harry went quiet when he saw Uma there, asking if you two had gone mad.

"She tried to poison me, Uma!" he pointed at you accusingly.

"Excuse me!" you look at your friend, who couldn't be any less impressed by your petty explanations "He spit water on my face. MY WATER. I WAS GOING TO DRINK IT"

The sea witch's daughter rolled her eyes so hard that you could swear she saw her own brain.

"You know what, lass?" Harry got dangerously close to you, leaning slightly on the kitchen's table "I'm used to rotten food and sea water, but I have never tasted anything as dreadful as this. If this is what mermaids have to drink, I understand why so many of you want to leave the ocean".

You gasped and he grimmed, thinking he had finally gotten you. That pirate had just crossed the line and he had no idea who he was dealing with. You could put up with him stealing your drink and spitting it all over you, but talking bullshit about your beloved kin was something you weren't able to ignore. Uma would have to settle for having Gil as her first mate because you were about to kill Harry.

"You know what Hook" you said in your sweetest-sounding voice "You have the accent, the jacket, the hook, the smokey eyes... but you're still missing one thing... Better saying, you are not missing it..."

As quick as one could blink, you grabbed a small knife from the counter and stabbed it into the table close to where Harry's hand was lying.

"A FUCKING HAND!".

Okay, you wanted the knife to land close to Harry's hand, but it was a little too close... Actually, you failed to hit it for a couple of inches, had you done it a little bit to the left, Harry Hook would be lacking a finger.

Maybe you were kind of moody, after all.

Harry Hook had big blue eyes that usually sparkled with a boyish malice (and a bit of insanity), but, right now, he was looking at you with bulging eyes, one part of him didn't believe in what you just had done and the other was a little bit impressed by it. Of course all these emotions washed off from his face in seconds.

"DID YOU SEE IT, UMA? SHE IS CRAZY!"

"So, you can walk around spitting on people and threatening to hook them and that's okay? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME"

And the yelling started again, but Uma was having none of it and she knew both of you enough to understand that if someone did not step in, you wouldn't stop until one of you were dead.

"Stop both of you, right now!" she didn't even have to shout, just the look on her face was enough to make you shut up "We are on a very dangerous mission and we don't have time to deal with this silliness!"

"She started!"

"He started!"

You both cried out at the same time.

Uma took a deep breath, her patience running thin.

"I don't want to hear it. If you want to act like children, I'll treat you as such. Now, apologize to each other.

Harry and you exchanged looks of pure and sincere disgust.

"I won't do it" you threw your hands up.

"Neither will I" Harry declared, folding his arms.

"Great, so I'll call Evie and Gil and they can talk to you about the importance of friendship. I will personally ask them to sing about it"

Uma's threat was enough to make Harry turn to you and apologize.

Uma had real power over him. A true goddess, indeed.

"Okay, I'm sorry" the words that left his mouth were bitter and you knew he was dying inside for having to say them out loud, and that's why you enjoyed every single second of it.

In this moment, Mal called all of you to hurry up because they were about to go to Fairy Cottage, Uma gave you and Harry a warning look before leaving the kitchen and you went to fetch another glass of water. You were almost finishing to drink it when you notice Harry staring.

You took the last gulp and smiled innocently at him.

"I'm sorry, did you want some?" you asked.

"You didn't apologize" he raised an eyebrow and you put the glass down. Walking closer to him, you looked the pirate right in the eye.

"I just said I'm sorry, didn't I?"

"It doesn't count!"

"Yes, it does"

"No, it doesn't"

You hated to admit, but you were taking quite a liking to teasing him. Fortunately for you, Jay came into the kitchen to fetch you and Harry who were delaying the rest of the group. You couldn't help but notice the despleased look in the pirate's face.

Victory.

#harry hook x reader #harry hook x you #harry hook imagine #harry hook #descendants x reader #descendants imagine #descendants fanfiction #disney descendants #out of the water

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bhbookreviews · 6 years

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IT by: Stephen King

Finished: 1/24/2018

Hey everybody! It has been awhile since I’ve posted a review, but that is only because I’ve been reading this behemoth of a book (1153 pages, yikes). Here are some of my thoughts on what I read (Just a heads up, this review will most likely be significantly longer than my other reviews due to the length of the book):

Overview: It is about a group of seven kids that must deal with a menace in their town. This menace is pure evil and It feeds off of fear and brutally maims children, taking the form of their nightmares.This menace often takes the form of a clown that goes by the name of Pennywise that haunts Derry, Maine, about every 27 years. The children think they have dealt with It until they get a call 27 years later. This time It wants revenge.

Writing: I really enjoyed the writing in this. King goes into detail about everything that goes on in the quaint little town of Derry, most of the events being quite evil. This book is set in 1985 when all the children have grown up into adults and have forgotten most of the horrific things that they had to go through. About half the book is told in flashbacks to 1958 when they had to confront It. I think what really hooked me was the history of the town and just how awful all of the residents can be. A lot of the horrifying things that go in this book are things that Pennywise isn’t even (directly) a part of. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but there are some pretty messed up things that happen within Derry. This book definitely shocked me with some of the brutality that occurs throughout. By far my favorite thing within this book is when the Losers club (the 7 main children) are just hanging out and having fun. King does such an amazing job at writing the simplicity of childhood and I thought there was just a really nice heart-warming feeling while I read these parts. I will say that if you are kind of sensitive towards the subjects of racism or homophobia you might not want to read this. Like I said, a lot of the people in this fictional town are really bad. Now the really important question that everyone wants to know: Is the book scary? This book didn’t give me nightmares or anything, but I will say that this book is super creepy and disturbing. A good majority of the book is psychological horror with some gory stuff thrown in throughout. King set up a very elaborate backstory for Derry that unfolds as the book goes on and a lot of it was super interesting. Also, the dialogue was spot on. When one of the kids are saying something it sounds like something a kid would say. I really liked that. I can’t really think of any negatives as far of the writing goes. King did a great job of having just the right amount of description and the conversations flowed really well.

Characters: Alright folks, strap in because this is an important one. This novel has some of the best character development I’ve ever read. You almost feel like you grew up with these characters and watched as they matured. Not only that but you then get to learn about how specific events from their childhood unconsciously affected them. A big theme in this book is about growing up, the innocence of childhood, and how much we really forget as we grow older. I want to briefly go over the main cast of characters and kind of why I love them all.

First off is Bill, Bill is the leader of the Losers’ Club and has a pretty serious stutter, his brother dies pretty much at the very beginning of the book (otherwise I wouldn’t be telling you) and it destroys his home life and the relationship that Bill has with his parents. I love Bill because he realizes that he must be the rock that holds the group together so they don’t lost their minds from all the crazy stuff that is going on around them. Second off I’ll talk about Richie, Richie is a comedy man that is constantly talking in different voices and never knows when to shut up. Richie (in my opinion) is the child that has the least to worry about in his life. I love Richie because he is a genuinely funny kid and has some really good moments of bravery when his friends lives are in danger. Third off I’ll talk about Eddie (poor Eddie), Eddie has a myriad of diseases and has a very overprotective mother. I can’t tell you why I love Eddie so much because it kind of gets spoilery (I’ll say it involves a hospital and that’s it). Fourth off is Ben, Ben is so adorable and is just a great kid that is the definition of purity. Ben is made fun of a lot due to him being overweight. One reason I love Ben is being he shares the same name with me and also because of his love for Beverly. It’s honestly heart-warming. Speaking of Beverly: Fifth off is Beverly, I don’t really want to talk too much about Beverly because you should read it for yourself. I can say that I love Beverly because she is strong. Not just with strength, but also with mind. A lot of things happen to her and most of them are sad that’s all I’ll say. Sixth off is Stan, Stan is very quiet and is the youngest. When Stan talks he speaks wisdom, he has a lot of problems as time goes on though. I love Stan because he faces his fears head on even though he really doesn’t want to. Last off is Mike, the reason that I saved Mike for last is because isn’t introduced to the club until very late into the book. Mike is super important though. I love Mike because he has a great head on his shoulders and is really smart.

Wow, that was a lot of writing and that was only a portion of amazing characters in this book. I’ll speak of three more characters that I loved. Henry Bowers is the absolute worst. Any time I saw his name I had a kind of sick feeling in my stomach and just wanted one of the kids to beat the crap out of him. Really awful character, but a really good villain. Next is the one everybody wants to know about: Pennywise. Pennywise is an amazing villain mostly because he is so evil that it is terrifying. Pennywise is cold, calculated, and super manipulative. Pennywise is a monster like no other monster. Another favorite character of mine is The Turtle, I won’t tell you why though. Honestly, the characters are what made this book. If the Losers weren’t as diverse and unique (but also somehow so normal) then I think it would have taken me twice as long to read this book. My favorite characters in this book was definitely The Turtle, Eddie, and Beverly.

Pacing: The pacing in this book was really well done. I thought that King did an awesome job of making you ask questions and that is what pushed me forward until the very end. King would ask a particular question and then I had to keep reading until I knew the answer. Even though this book was the size that it was, I was so engaged with the plot that it really didn’t feel that long. As I got towards the end of the story I honestly wanted to stop reading, not because I was bored or tired; but because I didn’t want it to end. Also, I have to take a second to compliment King on how he weaved the present and the past together. Instead of the book being half the past and then the other half being the present he decided to kind of weave the story through flashbacks and I thought it went spectacularly. If I had to think of a negative in the pacing I would say that since I was so engaged with what had going on with what was happening with the kids sometimes the story would take a turn and talk about the history of the town when I would have preferred that the story would have progressed farther along. This qualm isn’t a big one, I can only think of it happening twice.

Enjoyment: I can honestly say that I’m genuinely sad that It is over. I had so much fun reading through this book and looking into the lives of such interesting (and a few very twisted) characters. This book was an emotional roller-coaster that had me fixed to the pages until I had to eventually put the book down because what was going on was so crazy. I can’t wait to reread this in a few years.

***On a very serious note, there is something that was weird and awkward to read. At first I wasn’t going to bring this up at all, but I eventually decided that it be wrong of me not to inform you of this. Near the end the children were trying to find their way out of the sewers under Derry only to get flustered and frustrated as they become more lost. Beverly has an idea that the only 6 boys should have sex with her in order to unify their friendship and minds to figure a way out. You heard that right, there are about 4 pages where these 10-11 year old boys are having sex with Beverly. I kind of understand where King was trying to go with this, but since they are kids it’s just really awkward to read and I think there should have been another solution to their problem. Other than this part I believe the book is pretty close to flawless. I still enjoyed the hell out of this book, I just wish I could redact those four pages.

Ending (Don’t worry, no spoilers): One word: Bittersweet.

My Final Thoughts: Overall, this book is easily in my top 5 for King books. This book disturbed me, made my face light up with glee, and always kept me engaged at all times. I won’t ever forget It and I can easily recommend this to King fans (although I’m sure most, if not all, of them have read it), fans of horror, and fans of coming-of-age stories. I don’t recommend this to people that dislike large books, people that don’t like disturbing imagery in their books, or people that shy away from controversial topics. King lays it all out in front of you. It gets 2 thumbs up from yours truly (I would give it 3 if I could grow another arm).

P.S. I just wanted to thank anyone that ended up reading this and I hope you enjoyed it. I just started reviewing books and am still trying to get the hang of it. If you want to discuss anything about any books that I have or haven’t reviewed feel free to bring it up. Until next time!

#it #stephen king #horror novels #book review

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