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wen-kexing-apologist · 11 months

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Bad Buddy x ATOTS aka Damn You WMT

Dear @waitmyturtles, fuck you, respectfully wen-kexing-apologist. Turts, I have shit to do, I do not have time for this. But once again I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT SO, FUCK ME I GUESS WE’RE DOING A FOREST EPISODE.

More specifically, we are doing an Our Skyy 2, Episode 15 Part 1/4 post, probably far earlier than I should be, and definitely instead of doing work I absolutely need to be doing. But Pat and Phupa’s interactions in this part of the episode have me thinking about Phupa and his relationship to queerness.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I had a marvelous time watching Part 1 of our latest Bad Buddy x ATOTS crossover episode. Why? Because it is absolutely incredibly fun to watch Pat personally terrorize the local gay elder.

What I have really been enjoying in these crossover episodes is watching the ways the similarities and differences in Phupa, Pat, Pran, and Tian play out. Each person spends most of the time paired with the character who play the same role in the relationship but whose personalities and approaches to their relationships are very different. Phupa is the support in his relationship with Tian, Pat is the support in his relationship with Pran, but Phupa never bends and Pat always gives in.

The thing I love about Pat is that he is unabashed in his queerness, he rolls up on to the scene and starts flirting the second he opens his mouth, and then he

Literally

Never

Stops

He annoys Pran, he tests the structural integrity of the house with Pran, sure, but he also wakes up next to Phupa and then proceeds to never let Phupa forget that a) he would and b) that they thought they might have.

He rolls up on the scene as Phupa and his coworker are getting ready to head into the forest, and he starts talking openly and loudly about Phupa’s boyfriend, and the relationship problems they are having.

Phupa is less than amused.

Phupa does not want Pat coming with him, Pat sneaks into the back of the truck, Phupa begrudgingly allows Pat to come with him and Pat says “you’re the cutest”

Phupa is less than amused.

I’m gonna skip ahead a little bit and then regress if that is okay with everyone, after Phupa puts bandaid’s on Pat says yet again “what a cute print, Chief”, “you have a cute side, Chief”

“No wonder teacher is head over heels for you,”

Here Pat is, one half of the first queer couple to interact with Phupa and Tian in god knows how long or possibly ever, talking casually, happily, loudly, and openly about Phupa’s relationship with Tian and Tian’s feelings for Phupa. Reaffirming to Phupa in a way that it is obvious that Tian is in love with him.

And still Phupa is not having it.

As they continue their walk, Pat starts smelling the trees and Phupa is like oh jesus fucking christ what the hell are you doing you are making my life a living hell- “What are you doing?”

And in response, Pat is very open and sappy about Pran.

gif from @liyazaki

“Pran smells so good, if he is nearby, I can find him,” and Phupa is flabbergasted. He just stands there for a second, looking Pat up and down like “okay, seriously…what the fuck?” and he is so obvious about it in the way he looks at Pat and in the way he walks away, that Pat is able to tell immediately that Phupa is, once again, not vibing with Pat’s casual references to his queerness, or overt and honest love and admission of intimacy with his partner. Pat knows Pran’s scent so well that he is confident he could pick it up in the middle of the forest. That suggests a level of familiarity with a body that would traditionally be considered uncouth, if you were polite, and doubly so if you are queer.

gif from @liyazaki

When Phupa starts walking like he’s over the conversation, Pat’s easy smile shifts to confusion “What? Haven’t you smelled Teacher’s body before?”

(Translation: Aren’t you also so in love with your partner, and aren’t you so intimate with your partner that you could recognize his scent anywhere you went? Looking at you watermelon soap sponsorship…looking at you tea bag smell pouch…)

And it’s the inclusion of the word body that really strikes me here, because to say “what? Haven’t you smelled Teacher before?” evokes a different relationship than “What? Haven’t you smelled Teacher’s body?” does.

“That’s too bad” Pat says, and leans suggestively close to Phupa. Like a cat toying with a mouse. Pat likes needling at Phupa’s discomfort around explicit references to Pat and Pran’s sex life. And while we know Phupa has most certainly smelled Tian’s body before, Phupa SPINS around, has this brief moment of absolute wide eye about being so blatantly asked a question that alludes to his physical relationship to and with Tian, looks Pat dead in the eye and says “I’m not a pervert like you,”

gif from @liyazaki

Harsh words. Incredibly harsh words, especially because of the connotations of queerness with perversion, especially because iirc from the KinnPorsche LGBTQ+ Facts special on IQIYI, pervert is often an insult used in Thailand for queer people. Phupa is uncomfortable with Pat’s open conversation about his queer relationship, about his queer intimacy and he chooses to meet Pat with homophobia in the way of a slur.

But Pat is having fun, and I honestly believe he expects that kind of reaction. Pat and Pran were awkward witnesses to Tian and Phupa’s little domestic about watching him shower and looking lovingly into their eyes, but Phupa is stiff the whole time, he is aware that he is engaging in that conversation while other people are present, and he can’t take it and he literally flees. And some of that is because he is getting riled up about their fight, but we see in part 2 of this episode that when Phupa is actually angry with Tian about something, he has no problem standing up and planting his feet to confront Tian about it.

Anyway, Pat is having fun, and Pat wants to test Phupa and so, completely unphased he starts talking about how Tian smells, as if he is familiar. He is like "my boyfriend smells soooo good, do you smell your boyfriend's body? Your boyfriend smells good" and it’s a direct display of Pat's comfortability with his partner, their closeness, and their level of intimacy.

“Teacher Tian smells so good” Pat says with the world’s widest grin

“How do you know that?” Phupa asks almost challenging

“I thought you said you’d never smelled him”

gif from @liyazaki

Caught ya. Phupa has indirectly admitted to intimacy. Pat has successfully engaged Phupa in a conversation that is completely about Phupa’s queerness.

And as Part 2 goes on, we are made more and more aware of how little outward public affection Phupa and Tian engage in. If Phupa and Tian touch around other people, there has to be a legitimate reason to do so (Tian fainted, Tian fainted again, Tian fainted a third time, Tian is drunk, Phupa is drunk, etc.). In this episode, Tian is weak and almost collapses in to Phupa’s arms because he exerted himself too much with his heart. Phupa’s hand is on Tian’s back and then Tian is away from him and standing upright, and when Phupa, Tian, Pat, and Pran exit the forest and enter the clearing of the safe house.

Pat is using Pran as a crutch, and Phupa and Tian have placed a child in between them. They are not touching, they aren’t even standing all that close to each other. Phupa is in ranger mode, sure, but he’s not really in front of people he has to impress, he doesn’t have to be completely professional and on guard when they are in the shack together. Especially when his partner with a body that is currently trying to reject his heart, is sitting there looking on the verge of a heart attack.

Phupa is making direct eye contact with Tian here, he is worried about Tian here, his focus is on Tian here, and yet he does not offer any physical comfort. No reassuring touch, no forehead kiss, hell, not even a hand on the back of his head to check for fever. He’s focused on getting the radio working, which is incredibly important in case there is a medical emergency, but he does not spare a second to physically ground him and Tian. He can only look from a distance. Because there are other people around, there is a child around. Phupa can’t be seen engaging in homosexual softness, Phupa has to be seen as a forest ranger, doing his job, his actual job that involves rescuing his stubborn dumbass boyfriend from yet again getting lost in the forest, but does not involve him being in love.

Again, Phupa truly has no one here he needs to impress, he’s in a room with a child, his boyfriend, and a couple of nuisances that have shown him absolutely zero respect since the moment they waltzed in to his neck of the woods.

At dinner even, after things have settled down, Phupa still cannot bring himself close to Tian in front of prying eyes.

Pat and Pran? Literally sitting side by side, knees touching. They are as close to each other as they possibly can be without literally sitting in each other’s laps.

Here is a close up of Pat and Pran literally making physical contact with each other at the knee and at the elbow.

And what Phupa and Tian do not know, is that Pat and Pran can't be outwardly and openly affectionate to one another in public when they are at school and so they make up for it by being disgusting when they aren't in school. Pat and Pran have to keep up a pretense, and its a tragic undertone to their ability to diffuse the brewing Tian and Phupa fight by looking at each other, nodding, and then improvising a fight realistic enough to get Phupa and Tian to pull them apart.

Because Pat and Pran’s relationship at home is a metaphor for external homophobia, because they are so used to it by now, the having to hide, to pretend they don’t like each other, to pretend they are mad, to pretend they aren’t in love, that they can just ease right in to staged fights at the drop of a fucking hat. But even in their fake fight they wind up pressed up against each other.

(hehe, screen shot funny, look at Phupa, he zoomin’)

Because for so long the only way they could have physical contact in public was by fighting, was by beating each other up, was by pushing or pulling each other away from a fight. Pat and Pran understand that Tian and Phupa are having a fight that they also once had, but they can also see the parts underneath it, the parts that make Phupa ask why the emphasis on him in Tian’s story is about Phupa being in love with Tian rather than his work.

Pat is simultaneously taking the opportunity of being hours and hours away from home, from where he has to hide his relationship, to be as openly and obviously in love with Pran as he has always been and is telling Phupa he is safe to be gay around. That he and Pran are safe people to be gay around, are safe people for him to be openly affectionate with his boyfriend around.

And that stems from the parts of Pat and Phupa that are wildly different.

Like, it is very very notable that Pat confesses his feelings for Pran practically as soon as he realizes that he has feelings for him and initiates the rooftop kiss which they share before they are even together, and then they have a bunch of little kisses, and they sneak as many touches as they can, and they make out multiple times in the show

And Phupa and Tian have…a single forehead kiss and then one kiss, at the top of a mountain, where no one would ever be able to see them after their story is complete.

In last week’s crossover episode, the level of intimacy that Phupa engages in with Tian is called out, even by Aof himself with the roleplaying scene between Pat and Pran where they pretend to be Phupa and Tian putting up a mosquito net and conclude that they absolutely must have kissed then.

But we know they didn’t. We know how painstakingly long it takes for Phupa and Tian to reach that level of intimacy with one another.

I'm even thinking backstory-wise, what is forest ranger training like? Is it part of the military? Did Phupa's gay ass have to enlist in a presumably male dominated field and like, go to training, and be around a bunch of guys, and make sure they didn't suspect he was gay?

I’m thinking about the moments in last week’s episode where it seemed like things were going better between Phupa and Tian, and it was always when Phupa was physically affectionate with Tian, putting his arm around him and not letting him go, when they were at karaoke, and when they were drunkenly stumbling home together, again locked in eachother’s embrace, where anyone could see them.

To regress as I promised back to the leech scene I am struck by what the approach to removing the leeches says about Pat and Phupa respectively.

Pat rips the leech off of him and Phupa takes time to put a lighter to them and pluck them off in a way that does not hurt Pat

Pat rips the leech off and bleeding for it, hurting himself in the process, because he is impulsive and impatient, Pat bleeds emotion, he's practically incapable of hiding what he's feeling, and he must obey his emotions before all else. Therefore, in Bad Buddy Episode 5, when he realizes he has feelings for Pran, Pat immediately has to talk to Pran about his feelings, immediately leans in to the emotion he is feeling in the present moment, and initiates a kiss. A kiss that leaves him feeling blissful, and that leaves him hurt because Pran walks away, because Pran has known forever how much he likes Pat, because Pat has only just figured out his feelings, he hasn’t had to sit with them for long, and yet that kiss is an equally strong release for both of them. When Phupa removes the leech from Pat’s leg he is methodical and patient, he tries to minimize the wound, it takes longer but it has the same result which is why it takes so damn long for him and Tian to get together. When I watches ATOTS and they touched pinkies under that blanket and I went "ah yes! This is the part where you start making out and fucking cause they are adults who have maybe been in a relationship before and who have both been obviously painfully aware of their feelings for eachother since the moment they laid eye on each other"...and then they don’t. Phupa waits, and waits, and waits.

I think the fundamental thing that I see replaying in this episode especially, and with Pat and Phupa’s interactions especially is the elder versus younger queer mentality we got in Moonlight Chicken, with very different characters from Jim and Li Ming, but following a similar pattern of restraint and time versus just jumping right in.

And it’s also why I think the conversation between Pran and Phupa is so important:

gifs by @nanons

Pat and Pran’s need to keep their relationship secret because of their family’s, and because of Pran’s mom specifically is a metaphor for external homophobia. Pat and Pran are extremely comfortable in their sexuality, very open in their love for one another when they are amongst other queer people, or amongst allies, when they are away from their hometown or when they are in the privacy of their homes.

There are a lot of different pieces in play around Phupa and Tian’s relationship, but there is ultimately a metaphor at the most or a blatant sense at the least of internal homophobia on the part of Phupa.

Pat has chosen to stay “in the closet” in order to be with Pran. In a convo with @shortpplfedup about this, Nini said it the most accurate and heart wrenching line: “It's honestly that Pran can't really ever compare to Pat's sacrifice here, and he KNOWS it,”

Similarly, Phupa believes that Tian has made a sacrifice to be with him, and he knows it. Which is why he can’t bring himself to go to Tian’s birthday, because Tian has left before, because he is scared every time Tian goes that he will realize that Phupa isn’t enough. Because Phupa is afraid of being seen as Tian’s partner. Because Phupa is really only capable of being physically affectionate behind closed doors. When they are completely alone. Cause even in the camp, when the child is sleeping and Pat and Pran are off literally fucking in the tent minding their own goddamn business, Phupa cannot bring himself to touch Tian.

They’re sharing place but not space, or whatever it was that Ayan said to Akk in their Our Skyy 2 episodes. When Phupa gives Tian his medicine, at most their fingers brush, they don’t sit down together, they don’t ground themselves with touch. They share this place, but they do not encroach on each other’s personal space…

…until Phupa falls asleep

gif by @earthpirapat

At which point Tian gets up, and places his blanket on him, and physical touches his arm, his shoulder, etc. as he is adjusting the blanket for him.

Tian initiates the touch, Tian stayed in the village with him, Tian is sacrificing his health to be here with Phupa. Phupa has spent 90% of his time alone with the bouncing ball of sunshine that is Pat, and 5% of his time with the chaotic homosexual energy of Pat and Pran together, and to be real, as much as we know about Pat and Pran’s relationship, and as much depth as we are able to pull from these specific characters interacting in the way they do, Phupa has no idea what Pat and Pran have been through to be where they are.

To anyone who does not know Pat and Pran’s story, they seem like nothing more than two horny young adults in love, who feel no need to hide themselves and their queerness away, that have never had a struggle in their life, and do not understand the trials and tribulations of navigating an older queer relationship, who will last the length of a honeymoon period and then disappear at the first sign of real conflict. Thus, I think Phupa grossly underestimates the company he is currently keeping.

So I think, personally, Phupa is kinda of struck by the sudden and unexpected depth that comes from Pran. That Pran is able to identify and then absolutely hone in and strike at the exact things that Phupa is struggling with. As much as Pat has both relished in the freedom he has to be disgustingly in love with his boyfriend in the woods, and as much as Pat has tried to make himself an obviously safe person to be openly gay around, Phupa is incapable of understanding what he can learn from Pat and Pran’s relationship until he realizes these boys have a lot more in common with him than he thought, and that their relationship and their relationship to one another is more complex and therefore more similar to him and Tian’s situation than he would like.

Pran and Phupa carry the weight of feeling like nothing they do will ever compare to the sacrifices their partner has made to be with them. I didn’t get much in to Pat and Tian here, but their interaction makes it clear that they both carry the weight of feeling like their partner does not need them.

Phupa has literally saved Tian’s life on numerous occasions, Tian is chronically ill, Tian has limitations. Phupa is a forest ranger, who is a foundation in his community, who is skilled and competent, and fiercely independent. Pat is disorganized, and impulsive, his father is the reason he and Pran can’t be open about their relationship, he is the reason Pran got sent away.

We get a fun reversal with dynamics in these Bad Buddy x ATOTS episodes because Tian and Phupa are older, but Pat and Pran have an entire lifetime of navigating and overcoming conflict under their belt. Pat and Pran have already weathered the storm of the fight that Tian and Phupa are having. They have already settled in to who they are, but Pat and Pran (Pran especially) are able to see the ways that always giving in and never backing down wears on a person. Pran learns from seeing the pain that Tian is in that being uncompromising might cause fractures in their relationship in the future.

Tian and Phupa (Phupa especially) are learning how to resolve their conflicts. Pran, who is holding on to Tian and Phupa’s story so tightly because it is shared, because it is open, because anyone who wants to can know about it, pushes Phupa, who cannot cope with being portrayed as being in love with Tian, to read all of the diary Tian published online. Pran pushes Phupa to push through the emotional blocks, to push past his initial concerns, and to assume Tian wrote and published this story with both an understanding of who is partner is and what Phupa is comfortable with, and with no intention of hurting anybody.

Anyway, all of this to say, that this episode has really made me analyze Phupa with an internalized homophobia lens, and though one can never trust a P’Aof trailer, it has left me with two impressions.

On the subject of Phupa and internalized homophobia, and needing to move past that (and more) in order for his relationship with Tian to survive this fight, @shortpplfedup said it best:

“Now I'm thinking about one moment from the preview (but just a moment!) where Phupha tells Tian he's not gonna sneak to look at him, he's gonna OPENLY look at him”

And cause it seems like Phupa learned some things from the Bothersome Boys:

Case in point:

Here's multiple hours of my life I will never get back, at least I had fun! Time to go do the work I was supposed to be doing tonight :p

That's all folks!

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wen-kexing-apologist · 11 months

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Validation- In Which Lurking Turtles Try to Spare Me From Writing a Post by Essentially Plucking My Thoughts Right Out of My Head.

In her incredible post about community, @waitmyturtles posed (and answered) the question:

“Could the ATOTS story have held up WITHOUT Pat and Pran?”

I argue, no, because looking back on the last four episodes, the resolution of that four part story was never supposed to be about Pat and Pran, it was supposed to be about Phupa and Tian. In my opinion, the last four Our Skyy 2 episodes are made for Phupa and Tian.

Hell, it’s not even about Tian to me, this whole story is an arc for Phupa specifically.

I argue, Pat and Pran serve as the vessel by which Phupa is forced to confront his internalized homophobia and must decide whether or not to try to move past it.

This is a bold statement, so let me say right now that I watched ATOTS and Bad Buddy around the same time, and while I deeply enjoyed ATOTS I loved Bad Buddy and initially I found Phupa and Tian to be a rather boring, uncomplicated couple that obviously liked each other and refused to do anything about it, despite me not really seeing any obstacles for them getting together.

But because of now being familiar with Earth’s acting and because of Episode 3, I started to pay more attention to Phupa, made that internalized homophobia observation, and then managed, over the course of the four hours it took me to write that post to go from “You’re boring” to “lmao that’s my fucking guy” in regards to how I looked at Phupa.

And, not to toot my own horn, but I am feeling extremely validated in my read on Phupa and internalized homophobia in yesterday’s post after seeing the final episode of Our Skyy 2 x ATOTS.

@lurkingshan has already shared a lot of her thoughts (which honestly reflect a lot of my own) in regards to how Phupa has learned a lot from his interactions with Pat. @waitmyturtles has shared a lot of her thoughts (which honestly reflect a lot of my own) about how Aof’s stories so often center around queer Asian community. And tumblr has shared in abundance all the happy, lovey-dovey, moments between Pat and Pran and Phupa and Tian.

So I am not going to start there. I am going to start with the supporting evidence of Phupa’s internalized homophobia from Our Skyy 2’s final episode.

The first, when Phupa and Tian are getting dessert and Tian tries to feed him. He looks around anxiously and reminds Tian that they are in public.

Gifs from @ayan-sukkhapisit

Second, when Phupa and Tian are clothes shopping and Tian leans in to Phupa and says suggestively “You’re so handsome. You got a boyfriend?”

Even when Tian mentions the size of the crowd at the play, Phupa once again looks around anxiously, the weight of the realization that this many people are about to hear the story of his queerness hitting him.

Each of these moments is a point where Phupa’s internalized homophobia is flaring up, but, (and this is crucial) HE PUSHES THROUGH IT.

And that is thanks to Pat and Pran, but especially Pat.

Now (and hear me out here) Pran is fully responsible for getting Phupa to sign the consent form to put on the play. Pran’s moment of brutal honesty where he called out Phupa’s insecurities and confirmed they were also his own, is what led Phupa to realize that these chaotic, loud, and meddling children had a lot more going on than he first thought, and is what led to him confidently making the statement “No one gets us better than these two.”

Pran’s acknowledgement of his own insecurities in his relationship with Pat is enough for Phupa to understand that Pran is desperate to tell this story, his story for a reason.

But Pat? Pat’s continuous, unabashed, unrelenting, and obvious love for his boyfriend and then his continuous, unabashed, unrelenting, and obvious crush on/harassment of Phupa pushes Phupa out of his comfort zone. Pat and Tian may be the people who make the sacrifices in their relationships, but Pat is not Tian. Pat is willing to make sacrifices for Pran, Pat is willing to hide his queer desire for Pran. But Phupa is not Pran. So Phupa is Not Safe. Where Tian is patient and where Tian also tries to minimize/tone down his own feelings when he and Phupa are together in public, Pat sees Phupa, goes “oh that man is hot and repressed and I’m about to make myself his problem,” and then he puts his foot on the gas and does donuts in the parking lot.

At no point in their solo time together does Pat ever let up on Phupa. Thus, Phupa is forced to reconcile with his internalized homophobia, because he is both safe to do so by being in the woods without the rest of the village, and because Pat never stops reminding him that he is queer. Phupa sees how much Pat loves Pran and sees the way Pat and Pran interact with each other, touching knees, running in to each other’s arms, feeding each other, etc. and hears the insecurities Pran has in his relationship with Pat, and how much they mirror his own, and he realizes that he can feel insecure and still have a happy, loving relationship because he has spent hours upon hours of time listening to Pat brag about his boyfriend. The surface fight of who fell in love first is resolved by way of Phupa understanding that Tian can make all these sacrifices and still be madly in love with him. Phupa needed Tian to have fallen in love first so that he can be certain that he didn’t trap Tian here. Tian needed Phupa to have fallen in love first so that he can have security in a relationship where Phupa cannot overcome his insecurities (class, queerness, etc.) to be openly in love with Tian around others.

SO!

The resolution comes when Phupa decides that it is time for him to stop hiding

Gif from @gunsatthaphan

He pushes past his initial discomfort about the level of open affection he is receiving, but eventually relents to Pat’s flirtations and gives him a smile. It is as good as an admission for Pat that Phupa will, in fact, miss him and did, in fact, enjoy their time together.

He openly admires his Tian at the waterfall, he asks to be played with.

He corrects the narrative, and finally does what we all thought he would do, and “steals” the kiss he wanted to steal all those years ago

Gif by @liyazaki

He fucks his boyfriend

Gif by @liyazaki

He woos his boyfriend by rolling up to Bangkok in a car that is almost certainly out of his price range looking hot as hell.

He takes photos of Tian “the food”

Gif from @boyslovesource

And where we saw a momentary flare up of his internalized homophobia in the cafe, because that mentality is not something that is broken in a night, he powers through and allows himself to be fed.

And at the clothing store too, he initially bristles at Tian’s flirtation but very quickly reciprocates it

He signs the contract. He actively and intentionally allows Pran and Pat to tell his story, to celebrate his queerness.

And he comes to see the play. To see the story of he and Tian’s love. The story that until only recently he refused to even finish. And while Tian is surprised that Pat and Pran are playing them, Phupa is not. Partially because he put the stipulations on it, but also because Pat and Pran have chosen to portray the unexpected, but absolutely personality accurate character. Pat is an unexpected Tian if you go off of looks, but Pat serves the role that Tian does in his relationship and therefore is absolutely the perfect choice to play Tian.

(Honestly, thinking about it more, that choice may have also contributed to Phupa’s comment that no one gets them better than those two. Because he sees them acknowledge their own roles in their own relationship based on who they chose to portray.)

Now, something that I also picked up on, but that @chickenstrangers mentions as well is the following:

“We got to see Phupha and Tian's reactions to the play highlighted, seeing that they appreciated the portrayal. We also saw Ink and Pa's reactions, how moved they were by the play and Pat and Pran being able to portray it; how the story was received by other queer people. These special episodes are exploring the tension between needing to hide and wanting to be seen and open, and in the play, both Phupha and Tian, and Pat and Pran got to open a little bit about themselves to others. Even though it is Tian and Phupha's story on stage, Pat and Pran are telling their own as well.”

And it struck me, as I was going back through the episode to pull screen shots that Ink and Pa also watch the mosquito net scene and ask “why does he have to poke his face so close to him?”

Which indicates to me that Ink and Pa are also expecting a kiss from Phupa and Tian and, not getting one, they wonder why he’s gonna get this close only to not do anything.

Which strikes me as yet another example of the young queer couple not understanding where intimacy can be a struggle for older queers.

Secondarily, Phupa requesting that Pat and Pran portray Phupa and Tian does, in fact, set them up to be openly in love and to have plausible deniability. Phupa doesn’t know that they are going to kiss, and in fact, they were not supposed to. But they do. They get to be open they way the want to be open, the way they wish they could be open. And they get to do it by being vessels for Phupa and Tian’s story.

I actually don’t have much to say here in terms of analysis, but dammit if I’m not emo about the Circle of Queers. Look at all them, standing around, being in community with one another. Happy Pride everyone!

AND THEN PHUPA COMES TO FUCKING DINNER!!!!

He lets Tian spend money on him, he finally does the one thing Tian has hoped for all these years, and celebrates his birthday. Comes as his partner, interacts with Tian’s parents.

And is rewarded for it by learning that he had nothing to fear. Tian’s parents are impressed with Phupa’s dedication, the filial nature of his service, the choice he made to move to PPD because his father loved it.

And far more important, Tian’s parents entrust Tian into Phupa’s care.

And, if you want to get in to outdated concepts of queerness, masculinity, husband/wife whatever, then it is also important to acknowledge that Phupa ends the episode getting fucked by his fiance

Gif from @gunsatthaphan

And he engages in sex with his partner while his coworker and friend is right outside the door, fully aware of what they are doing. Now, we know from ATOTS that this is not the first time that Yod has heard them having sex. But crucially, in ATOTS, Phupa was not aware that Yod was outside the door.

Now, I know what you are thinking, readers “W-K-A, why did you skip over the most important part of Phupa’s self acceptance journey?”

IT’S BECAUSE I’M SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST OKAY??????? Hush.

The culminating event of this episode, and of the entire four episode arc, is Phupa’s proposal to Tian.

Gifs by @liyazaki

Tian’s part of the fight came from fearing that Phupa wasn’t going to fully committed to him. The constant refusal to go to his birthday, one of the few times a year that Tian sees the rest of his family, serves to make Tian feel like Phupa doesn’t consider himself to be Tian’s family.

Now, back to my argument that this ATOTS story couldn’t have happened without Pat and Pran is that I am not entirely certain that Phupa and Tian were completely aware of what the underlying problem was. And if they were, they certainly weren’t going to talk about it. Tian may still have trudged up the mountain to find Torfun’s diary, and he might still have gotten lost, and Phupa might still have had to rescue him, but Phupa needed to see how a relationship dynamic like his was capable of working.

Back to Phupa’s internalized homophobia, putting a ring on Tian’s finger is both a confirmation to Tian that Phupa is fully and completely committed to him but also a PHYSICAL. VISUAL. INDICATOR OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP.

There is no benefit of the doubt, there is no plausible deniability. No matter where Phupa and Tian go, if they go together the world will know they are a couple. Phupa cannot hide from his queerness walking next to Tian with that ring on Tian’s finger.

Gif from @thebvbbletea

I know there are many people that wanted more of a stout resolution for Pat and Pran in these episodes. But that wasn’t the point Aof was making. Pat and Pran’s storyline in these episodes feels unresolved because Pat and Pran’s resolution doesn’t come until Episode 12. I understand that these analysis may have gotten me too focused on Phupa, but I don’t know. I can’t shake the feeling that this four part crossover was about Phupa. Pat doesn’t change much, Pran doesn’t change much, because we watched Bad Buddy. Because we have already seen the changes they have made to be with each other. Because there is never going to be balance in Pat and Pran’s relationship as long as Dissaya remains the way she currently is. (I’m taking this from a conversation I had with @shortpplfedup, @bengyio, @waitmyturtles, @lurkingshan, and @ginnymoonbeam). Tian doesn’t change much because he was always the one compromising, because he is committed to Phupa. It is Phupa who goes through the most significant changes.

It is Phupa who had to get comfortable with their relationship being on display in the form of diaries

It is Phupa who had to get comfortable with those diaries showing him being in love with Tian.

It is Phupa who has to get comfortable with Pat’s explicit queerness.

It is Phupa who had to get comfortable with public displays of affection.

PPD is a village removed from most things, there is a vibrant and loving community there. But it means they are removed from overarching society. Phupa needs to see the younger generation of queers being comfortable and confident in their sexuality. Phupa needs to see the younger generation being comfortable and confident in their love. Phupa needs to see that the younger generation isn’t worried about people knowing they are queer, he needs to see them be explicit in their love for each other. No code words, no euphemisms, just a boy and his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s scent. And I think that in order for Phupa to resolve his internalized homophobia, he needed to meet Pat and Pran. I think interacting with Pran made him view Pat and Pran’s relationship as an adult one, granting it infinitely more respect and credibility in his eyes, and interacting with Pat made him realize that it is much safer now to be gay that it once was.

Anyway, I’m going to go cry about “We finally have a thousand stars now” for the rest of forever now, thank you.

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