#percy and clarisse are best friends who hate each other in public to keep up their reputation but actually care very deeply for one another | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aknosde · 3 years

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Okay, you know earlier this week when I dropped a paragraph of a fic? I actually finished it, and the end isn’t the best so I’m posting it here and not on AO3.

Loneliness - (featuring my HoH Percy and Clarisse head cannons)

TW for attempted self harm and a generally bad mental space

Percy’s never really had a mentor. When he was young he was put in a few organizations as a mentee. The type of organizations that are supposed to make things easier on kids like him, brown and black kids with “authority problems”. They never really clicked though, sometimes it was him, a lot of the time it was the supposed mentor. He had never cared much, it’s not like they could help him in a way that mattered.

Then there was Luke. Luke who was tall and strong and quick and really, really, really good with a sword. Maybe some of it was a crush, but he had never met someone who he was so encapsulated by. Luke was cool, intelligent, and good looking. He was everything Percy ever wanted and ever wanted to be.

Luke left a bitter taste in Percy’s mouth and a scar on his hand and a distaste for soda. Luke left Percy with an even quicker brain and a knot in his stomach that turned into a murder plot for his stepfather. He drew Percy in time and time again with a hatred that was laced with unrequited love and left Annabeth with blood stains on her dagger and both of them with salt stains on their cheeks and the taste of ash on their tongues.

After Luke was Beckendorf. Granted Percy had had a bit of a crush on him too. Beckendorf was pure, not in the way some white campers might call Hazel innocent. He was just kind, and genuine, and warm. Percy looked up at Beckendorf, big, strong, brave, caring, and he thought this, this is something I could do. I might not be able to be a big hero, but I can do this. I want this.

Beckendorf left Percy with no body for the shroud to cover. He left Percy with inside jokes that would never again be completed and a desire in his brain to constantly be in the forges and to keep as far away from them as possible. Beckendorf left a hole in Percy’s heart that was filled by blood and guilt. Percy looks at the acid scars on his foot with a longing for the time when Beckendorf was taken by giant ants.

And after Beckendorf there was no one. Suddenly Percy was one of the oldest campers. A war veteran. Supposedly the strongest demigod alive. He wasn’t just a counselor now, of his cabin that was solely him, he was a senior counselor. Jake Mason sat in Beck’s seat and Percy cried because suddenly he was alone.

He shouldn’t feel alone. When Annabeth holds his hand while they wait for breakfast he shouldn’t feel alone. When Grover makes enchiladas in the kitchen of the Big House and they eat them together in a field Percy shouldn’t feel alone. When Nico comes running into Percy’s cabin telling Percy that Mythomagic is apparently run by demigods and that they made a card of Nico he shouldn’t feel alone.

It only gets worse when he’s back at home. His mom goes through their normal post-quest routine. She gives him time and space and love. She takes him to the doctor’s. His old prescriptions get refilled, adderall, meperidine. Sally tries again to find a demigod therapist, to no avail. They don’t celebrate his birthday this year.

He’s at Goode without Rachel and he has no other friends. He’s never really been good at that, the whole friend thing, and now it’s practically impossible finding someone who isn’t uneasy around him. He sits in the back of his physics class and eats alone at lunch and sleeps in Paul’s office during breaks.

A teacher hands him back an essay and there’s a paperclip in the corner keeping all the pages together. There is a B+ on it with a smiley face, and Percy takes the paper clip and sharpens it and tries to scratch his skin. It doesn’t do anything. His skin still won’t break, there is just a faint redness. Only after scratching away mindlessly for weeks does he realize that he’s writing words. Last words. “Go!” “Don’t let it happen again.” “Tell him I’m sorry.”

He can fill up his schedule with school and homework and swim and skating and basketball. He can wake up in the morning and eat breakfast and take adderall and carry around the other small orange bottle waiting for his skin to revolt against him. He feels disgusting and empty. Like a demon in a suit of skin that used to be Percy. He misses two years ago when the war wasn’t looming over head, when he and Annabeth and Silena and Beck would all hang out, when he and Clarisse had weekly midnight basketball games.

Grover knows. Grover’s gotta know. For one thing, there’s the empathy link. And Grover is calling multiple times a week, and he always asks how Percy is, if he’s alright. Percy lies “I’m all good man, don’t worry. How’s work?” Then Grover goes off on a tangent about pollution or some shit he saw a human do and the way he purses his lips when he’s worried doesn’t come back until they’re hanging up.

He hates it, the lying. He’s only told lies to protect others, when he doesn’t have enough information yet, when he needs to save them. Now he is lying for himself. How fucking selfish does he have to be? But he’s so lonely, and he can’t bare to lose anyone else. It feels like the smallest step out of line will make his world crumble.

So he lies. He lies his ass off, and he doesn’t know if he’s good at it, but he could be. When Annabeth comes over one weekend, all the way from California, and she asks about the pill bottle rattling in his pocket he says that it’s adderall and she turns back to the tv. When his mom asks if he’s made new friends he says yes, and proceeds to tell a mortal version of something that he and Beck did last year.

One day Rachel comes into the city to visit her parents. They’re sitting on a bench in Central Park and he takes the paperclip out of his coat pocket and goes to work on his wrist while they talk. It’s habit by now. Rachel stops in the middle of her sentence and gently pries the paperclip from his hands and in its place she leaves a blue eyeliner pencil.

Soon his arms are covered in names and words and horrifically beautiful drawings. Blue pigment against brown skin and pink scars, all swirling together. The pencil runs out quickly, but a week later, just as he’s about to take the paperclip back out, an envelope arrives. Sitting in the bottom is a new pencil of blue eyeliner. Percy throws the paperclip in the trash.

By Thanksgiving break Percy isn’t feeling good exactly, he’s feeling mildly better. Loneliness still hits him, in pangs. He’ll be walking to lunch and he’ll have to jump in the canoe lake because he can’t handle it, and swimming is a good excuse for missing a meal.

He wakes up early in the morning and sits in Rachel’s cave waiting for her to wake up. She makes hot chocolate and points out drawings she particularly likes, and then he’ll wash his arms off ready to begin again.

Days are filled with meetings. Meetings with Chiron and meetings with other counselors, trying to make up for being away at school. When he’s not in meetings he trains. Sometimes himself, but a lot of newer or younger campers. The disarming technique he teaches throws him back to Luke and he gives the campers a five minute break hoping the feeling leaves.

Evenings are being tossed between one person and another. Racing up the climbing wall with Annabeth and laughing at the top and sitting there for way too long. Stopping by the Aphrodite cabin where Drew will catch him up on everything he’s missed being away or being busy. He sits on the floor of the Hades cabin trying for the fifth time to understand Mythomagic.

Every night since he’s gotten back Clarisse raps on his door at two in the morning and they play one v. one on the basketball court until they end up on their backs under the stars. There’s rarely any talking. It’s dark outside and Clarisse has left her hearing aids in her cabin and he’s left his back in Manhattan. Not like he ever uses them in public.

He’s still lonely.

Maybe Clarisse can read his mind because she taps his leg and they sit up facing each other. He can just barely see her fingers in the moonlight.

“Sometimes people can be lonely not because they are alone but because they miss someone. You have a lot of people to miss.”

“Thanks for reminding me.” He signs back.

“Oh be quiet punk.”

They both break into laughter then, before she continues.

“Miss them. As much as you fucking want. I was in love with Silena, and she died, and Drew is a bitch about it, but she has a right to be.”

Percy is struck again by how similar he and Clarisse are, their lives and their feelings and their actions. The only difference is that Clarisse grants herself the freedom to do what she wants, and he’s scared to death of doing that himself.

“But, and do not ever tell anybody I told you this, a lot of people would miss you. You can pull away and feel lonely but you can’t disappear. Annabeth needs you, Rachel needs you, Nico and Will and Drew need you. And gods fucking dammit, I need you.”

Clarisse stands and pulls him up behind her. They part ways, heading back to their cabins. Percy mulls her words over in his head as he finally drifts into sleep, his body completely and utterly exhausted. Suddenly there is a blue-gold light, and he remembers Annabeth, and then everything is dark and there’s the smell of pine.

#chart writes #percy jackson #pjo fic #clarisse la rue #max.txt #fic: loneliness

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chicagocityfclanspromoblog · 3 years

Photo

Percival ‘Percy’ McCormick III → Charlie Cox → Dhole

→ Basic Information

Age: 228

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

Born or Made: Born

Birthday: January 22nd

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Religion: Jewish

→ His Personality Percy has very rarely failed in his life. This is not necessarily because of his skills or brains, but mainly his family’s money. He is a creative and often idealistic person, who is focused on pushing the envelope to see what else is out there. He is confident and charming, and has managed to make most things he creates work. One thing that isn’t working is his idea of a joint pack. It began in the 1930s as a way to bring people to Chicago and keep themselves above boat during the Depression. It worked for a while, but in the last 20 years has begun to spiral. Violence and hatred have gotten to a boiling point and the pressure only rises with new members moving in every month. He still thinks it is working and an idea worth fighting for, however even he is feeling the cracks. Percy has become an insomniac and his emotions are so high strung that his eyes frequently flip back and forth between white and his typical brown. He has taken to carrying sunglasses to hide his effect from those in and outside of his pack.

He has recently decided, under Liz’s recommendation, that he needs to destress his life. Percy gets self-confidence and pride from his work, so slowing down feels as though he is failing more. It has allowed him to attempt to fix his relationship with his wife. He is absent at best and neglectful at worst when it comes to Rose, and he realized he had started to become exactly like his father. He wants kids and he wants his kids to see two people in love raising them. Percy has a habit of thinking about those who benefit from all his actions, rather than those who must suffer with the other side. He is willing to sacrifice the few for the many and even if it hurts others, may refuse to give up what he wants.

→ His Personal Facts

Occupation: Head of the Triumvirate and Owner of WJDF station, The Chicago Herald, McCormick Media, and a conglomerate of publications.

Scars: None

Tattoos: Up to Player

Two Likes: Sunglasses and Skyscrapers

Two Dislikes: Close minded people and Conspiracy Theorists

Two Fears: Bankruptcy and People thinking he’s fraud

Two Hobbies: Genealogy and Proofreading

Three Positive Traits: Idealistic, Charming, Confident

Three Negative Traits: Assertive, Proud, Unyielding

→ His Connections

Parent Names:

Percival McCormick II (Father): Percival II built the media in Chicago from the ground up. He initially ran the telegraph and telegram stations out of Chicago and eventually created The Chicago Herald and the radio station. These catered to humans, but also supernaturals. There were special channels to broadcast supernatural news and it created the foundation for other supernaturals to create content and information for themselves. Creating an empire so expansive was not without cost. Percival II was rarely home and treated his wife and son as merely objects set out to impress. It left him with a constant need to prove to his father that he was just as clever as he was, even in death. Percy III created the first television station and has expanded into the internet and digital sphere as time has gone on.

Pamela McCormick (Mother): Pamela was not frequently involved with Percy. She was there for the worst moments to comfort him, but she was dealing with her own issues and didn’t have the time to help both. She was never cruel and often was willing to listen and entertain his imaginative ideas.

Sibling Names:

None

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Rose McCormick (Wife): Percy is admittedly a horrible husband. He’d like to blame it on the way he was raised, but even he knows he could stop that cycle whenever he wants. Rose is smart and fierce, but didn’t fully know what she was getting into when marrying him. He needed someone to stand by his side and have no desire to get involved in his life. He’d provide for whatever she wanted as long as she’d keep everything in their marriage private and eventually have a kid with him. It’s been a decade since they’ve been married, and they’ve kept up their deal. She has her own bedroom and they only typically see each other over dinner. Rose hates him and he understands why. Recently, Percy has begun to think being open with his wife and mate may calm him down more. He wants to start a real relationship with Rose, and is attempting to show that to her. She is becoming more receptive though she doubts him.

Platonic Connections:

Elizabeth ‘Liz’ Snow (Best Friend): Percy knows Liz better than anyone else. Liz is the only one who has truly seen him at his most vulnerable. They understand each other and the choices they make and support one another fully. It’s hard not to fall in love with someone who knows you well, and Percy was not immune to this. However, he knew it would never work. He found a dhole shifter who would agree to what he wanted from a marriage and tried to block out any thoughts of Liz, unsuccessfully. He still is much more emotionally connected with Liz and confides in her, rather than in Rose.

Simon Brodeur (Packmate): Percy has over 90,000 nimbles in his care and would be lying if he said he knew all of them by heart. However, Simon has recently popped up on his rader and Percy has been keeping a worrisome eye on him. Percy has never had a bad experience with Simon but when Simon’s mate was obviously killed by a hunter, Simon had blacked out causing a mess for Percy. Simon had gone into a frenzy and changed a few humans. Percy and Liz were able to cover it up and Simon was released punishment free but Percy is unsure what his next step should be and whether to go after the hunters who did this.

Austin Semler (Packmate): Percy is familiar with Austin work and the work of Austin parents. Percy knows potential when he sees it and Austin is bursting with potential but it is clear to Percy that Austin isn’t ready yet.

Isla Johns (Packmate): Isla acts as the speaker for the prey members of their clan and is also a member of the Triumvirate. Percy and Isla are nearly never on the same page making Liz their referee on larger impact topics. They can never have a strong relationship while he knows what she thinks of him and how he runs the clan. It would both him more, if he wasn’t as confident that Liz saw his vision and wanted it to succeed.

Anton Kowalski (Unsure): Anton has not been a part of his clan for long but Percy isn’t blind to how Anton avoids him in comparison to the way he flocks to everyone else. While Anton isn’t the first coywolf that Percy has met, he is one of the first shifters to transition into Chicago in decades from a single shift nimble pack; meaning their pack one had one type of nimble species. He’s been keeping an eye on Anton and plans on giving him a proper introduction soon.

Clarisse ‘Clara’ Fields (Clan Leader): Percy and Clara have known one another since they were kids. While Asa and Sam preferred leaving him in the dust, Clara was always a bit more willing to be friendly. He was glad when she took over as head of the Heavies and they often end up on the same side in council meetings.

Chris Bialar (Clan Leader): Chris stated once that he would be neutral when it came to nimble affairs and Percy has done the same for him. Percy personally doesn’t care about the local cat clan and only communicates at council meetings with them. Percy, however, has recently heard rumors about Chris and Ellis discussing a supernatural schooling system and wants in on the project.

Ellis Watts (Clan Leader): Percy has little interactions with the jackal clan and stands neutral when it comes to Ellis. Percy, however, has recently heard rumors about Chris and Ellis discussing a supernatural schooling system and wants in on the project.

Nick Hamelin (Clan Leader): Nick has been around for a while and was friends with Percy’s father. This made things a little easier when it was Percy’s time to take over. Nick and Percy are the closet of allies and their clans often work together to gather information. Percy’s people teach the rats reporting and/or journalistic investigating skills in exchanging for information and leads.

Isaac Baker (Clan Leader): Percy rarely has to deal with the wolves. When he does he typically sends Isla to discuss any incidents they come across with the wolves. Isaac certainly brings more spontaneity to the votes and certainly makes council meetings more interesting.

Scorpius Getta (Clan Leader): Percy is indifferent about Getta and the vampire community as a whole. The only time they communicate is at council meetings.

Sirius Cobic (Clan Leader): Sirius and Percy have come to an understanding as the police and media to keep the people of Chicago from finding out that over 1/3rd of their population is composed of supernatural beings. Their people work closely together but Percy personally deals with Sirius each time as a sign of respect and good faith.

Hostile Connections:

Sam Thompson (Childhood Bully): Sam and Asa used to bully Percy as a child. They would bring him into the middle of the woods, shift and then run. He frequently got lost, and only found his way back by accident, or by Clara helping him. He thinks Sam believing he could be the head of the Heavies is laughable, and ignores any contact that Sam tries to make with him.

Asa Fields (Childhood Bully): Sam and Asa used to bully Percy as a child. They would bring him into the middle of the woods, shift and then run. He frequently got lost, and only found his way back by accident, or by Clara helping him. Asa disappeared about a hundred years ago, which Percy was grateful for. Unfortunately he’s returned and apparently wants to make things right within his pack.

Pets:

None

→ History (paragraph(s) on background)

→ The Present (paragraph(s) on how the character connects to the plot)

→ Available Gif Hunts (we do not own these)

Charlie Cox (Percival “Percy” McCormick III) [1][2][3][4]

#charlie cox #Supernautral RPG #FANTASY RP #original lsrpg #OC RPG

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chicagocityofclans · 3 years

Photo

Percival ‘Percy’ McCormick III → Charlie Cox → Dhole

→ Basic Information

Age: 228

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

Born or Made: Born

Birthday: January 22nd

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Religion: Jewish

→ His Personal Facts

Occupation: Head of the Triumvirate and Owner of WJDF station, The Chicago Herald, McCormick Media, and a conglomerate of publications.

Scars: None

Tattoos: Up to Player

Two Likes: Sunglasses and Skyscrapers

Two Dislikes: Close minded people and Conspiracy Theorists

Two Fears: Bankruptcy and People thinking he’s fraud

Two Hobbies: Genealogy and Proofreading

Three Positive Traits: Idealistic, Charming, Confident

Three Negative Traits: Assertive, Proud, Unyielding

→ His Connections

Parent Names:

Sibling Names:

None

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Platonic Connections:

Scorpius Getta (Clan Leader): Percy is indifferent about Getta and the vampire community as a whole. The only time they communicate is at council meetings.

Hostile Connections:

Pets:

None

→ History (paragraph(s) on background)

→ The Present (paragraph(s) on how the character connects to the plot)

→ Available Gif Hunts (we do not own these)

Charlie Cox (Percival “Percy” McCormick III) [1][2][3][4]

#Percy McCormick #OM #OMAS #OAS #OMN #Open #Percival Mccormick

0 notes

chicagocityfclanspromoblog · 3 years

Photo

Percival ‘Percy’ McCormick III → Charlie Cox → Dhole

→ Basic Information

Age: 228

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

Born or Made: Born

Birthday: January 22nd

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Religion: Jewish

→ His Personal Facts

Occupation: Head of the Triumvirate and Owner of WJDF station, The Chicago Herald, McCormick Media, and a conglomerate of publications.

Scars: None

Tattoos: Up to Player

Two Likes: Sunglasses and Skyscrapers

Two Dislikes: Close minded people and Conspiracy Theorists

Two Fears: Bankruptcy and People thinking he’s fraud

Two Hobbies: Genealogy and Proofreading

Three Positive Traits: Idealistic, Charming, Confident

Three Negative Traits: Assertive, Proud, Unyielding

→ His Connections

Parent Names:

Sibling Names:

None

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Platonic Connections:

Scorpius Getta (Clan Leader): Percy is indifferent about Getta and the vampire community as a whole. The only time they communicate is at council meetings.

Hostile Connections:

Pets:

None

→ History (paragraph(s) on background)

→ The Present (paragraph(s) on how the character connects to the plot)

→ Available Gif Hunts (we do not own these)

Charlie Cox (Percival “Percy” McCormick III) [1][2][3][4]

#Charlie Cox #OC RP #Town RP #Animal rpg #Supernautral RPG

1 note · View note

chicagocityfclanspromoblog · 3 years

Photo

Percival ‘Percy’ McCormick III → Charlie Cox → Dhole

→ Basic Information

Age: 228

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

Born or Made: Born

Birthday: January 22nd

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Religion: Jewish

Like Percy? Consider taking him in our Nimble Giveaway Event! We will be waiving applications para samples, personalities and histories requirements for all canon nimbles. Just send in the first and last name of the nimble(s) you would like to the main.

→ His Personal Facts

Occupation: Head of the Triumvirate and Owner of WJDF station, The Chicago Herald, McCormick Media, and a conglomerate of publications.

Scars: None

Tattoos: Up to Player

Two Likes: Sunglasses and Skyscrapers

Two Dislikes: Close minded people and Conspiracy Theorists

Two Fears: Bankruptcy and People thinking he’s fraud

Two Hobbies: Genealogy and Proofreading

Three Positive Traits: Idealistic, Charming, Confident

Three Negative Traits: Assertive, Proud, Unyielding

→ His Connections

Parent Names:

Sibling Names:

None

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Platonic Connections:

Scorpius Getta (Clan Leader): Percy is indifferent about Getta and the vampire community as a whole. The only time they communicate is at council meetings.

Hostile Connections:

Pets:

None

→ History (paragraph(s) on background)

→ The Present (paragraph(s) on how the character connects to the plot)

→ Available Gif Hunts (we do not own these)

Charlie Cox (Percival “Percy” McCormick III) [1][2][3][4]

#charlie cox #open rp #appless rp #magic rp

0 notes

chicagocityfclanspromoblog · 3 years

Photo

Percival ‘Percy’ McCormick III → Charlie Cox → Dhole

→ Basic Information

Age: 228

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

Born or Made: Born

Birthday: January 22nd

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Religion: Jewish

→ His Personal Facts

Occupation: Head of the Triumvirate and Owner of WJDF station, The Chicago Herald, McCormick Media, and a conglomerate of publications.

Scars: None

Tattoos: Up to Player

Two Likes: Sunglasses and Skyscrapers

Two Dislikes: Close minded people and Conspiracy Theorists

Two Fears: Bankruptcy and People thinking he’s fraud

Two Hobbies: Genealogy and Proofreading

Three Positive Traits: Idealistic, Charming, Confident

Three Negative Traits: Assertive, Proud, Unyielding

→ His Connections

Parent Names:

Sibling Names:

None

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Platonic Connections:

Scorpius Getta (Clan Leader): Percy is indifferent about Getta and the vampire community as a whole. The only time they communicate is at council meetings.

Hostile Connections:

Pets:

None

→ History (paragraph(s) on background)

→ The Present (paragraph(s) on how the character connects to the plot)

→ Available Gif Hunts (we do not own these)

Charlie Cox (Percival “Percy” McCormick III) [1][2][3][4]

#charlie cox #appless rp #animal rp #oc rpg

0 notes