#please enjoy the fruits of my feverish ADHD mind

[violent138]

Bruce, slumped in a chair: "Alfred it's so insane, he just doesn't stop. Yesterday he broke his ankle and he's back in those goddamn pixie boots with 'extra supports' like that fucking does anything-"

Alfred, stirring sedatives into the tea he's making Bruce: "Oh my."

Bruce: "-I just don't know what to do. He needs to take a break, holy shit that much anger can't be good for a child, and don't even get me started on the coping mechanisms Alfred, they're unhinged-"

Alfred, looking up with a tight smile: "You don't say. Sugar, Master Bruce?"

Bruce, dragging a hand down his face: "-and let me tell you, I don't know where he gets his energy because he hasn't slept in two days! Two days! I was impressed when he first got here, but now I'm just concerned-"

Alfred, handing the tea to Bruce: "Understandable, sir. Anyone in your position would be."

Bruce, nearly choking on the tea: "Alfred, Alfred, I'm so dumb--the lack of sleep must be getting to me-- just spike his orange juice with sleep meds. Child doses of Nyquil or something. Yeah, that'll do it."

Alfred, watching Bruce drain the cup: "I couldn't agree with you more."

#please enjoy the fruits of my feverish ADHD mind #I don't know what in God's many names this is #I'm so tired and I'm babysitting and I want to put the house under a sleeping curse #dick grayson #robin #battinson as disaster bat dad #batdad #alfred pennyworth #batman #batfamily