The fact that Roy canonically goes to gay bars and hangs out with drag queens is criminally under-utilised in fanon.
Where are my stories about the boys trying to support Colin by going to a gay bar and then being gobsmacked when Roy knows everybody there? Where are the stories where Roy gets caught at G-A-Y by the paparazzi and outed, only for him to insist that he’s straight to the team, who think he’s trying to save face and keep making grandiose gestures to prove their support to an increasingly infuriated Roy. Where are the stories about Roy and Keeley going to a gay bar together (with the yoga milfs) and running into one of Keeley’s ex-girlfriends?
What about Jamie thinking he’s doing super subtle bisexual signalling (cuffed jeans, layers, iced coffee, etc) only for Roy to clock him immediately and start trying to signal his support to Jamie à la Trent’s gay mug, only for it to backfire as Jamie assumes Roy is trying to come out.
Where’s my Roy who’s known he’s queer all his life getting invited to a gay club by his yoga friends for the first time and panicking, (because he’s never acknowledged this part of himself and how can they see it?), only to go to the bar and have it feel like he’s coming home. Where’s my Roy who’s absolutely certain he’s straight (after all, he’s being going to gay bars for years and he would know by now if he wasn’t) having a fucking heart attack as he falls for Jamie and has to reconceptualize his identity at 40. Where are the comedies about Keeley and Roy knowing the same person, but Roy only knows the drag queen and Keeley only knows the man out of drag and so they don’t realise they have the same friend?
What about a post-finale story where Roy, Keeley, and Jamie all show up at the same gay bar without planning it and have a series of bewildering conversations as they try to figure out if they’ve followed each other there (Keeley is like “how many times can I tell these boys I won’t pick between them?”) or if the other person is gay (you obviously can’t just ask).
These are all off the top of my head, so I am sure there are more. But please, please, somebody write this. We can’t let Roy get away with mentioning this once and then never talking about it again.
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sleepover 💅🏻
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warm and cozy
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AGH HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!! (ft., ofc, our favorite ot3)
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I’m sweating they are coming to me
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i need them to kiss!
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Roy and Jamie doing the celebrities read mean tweets thing but instead of from random people, it’s just all the bullshit they tweeted about each other that the other didn’t see in the time between Roy blocking Jamie on everything after Jamie tagged him in a tweet about how overdue Roy’s retirement was and Roy unblocking him but not telling him and just waiting for him to figure it out himself once they became friends (not that Roy would ever admit that that was what they were)
(Also, they definitely regularly seemingly unprompted tweeted horrible things about each other and fought online before that but neither of them blocked the other (or followed the other) because they preferred tagging the other in their bullshit for extra annoyingness but Roy was just at his limit for putting up with anything when he retired so Jamie said something not even as bad as usual and got blocked instead of the public argument he was anticipating)
Keeley’s like oh god this is a bad idea I’ve seen what they both tweeted and there’s no way this isn’t going to end up with them both pissed and probably getting into a physical fight
But instead, they both find them hilarious and there’s a lot of “oh, that’s a good one” and “that’s not your best work. You said worse to me this morning” and it’s the most Roy Kent’s been caught on camera laughing
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I did not like Jamie and Roy being weirdly sexist about Keeley and physically fighting one another over her, only to have no real conclusion to that storyline. First of all, they handled their jealousy over Keeley better in previous seasons when the two of them were rivals and had a lot of growing to do... which makes it seem like they randomly regressed in this episode after they've both matured and become friends. Which is just stupid.
And second of all, the dialogue was so sexist and uncomfortable at times, like Jamie using the video Keeley previously made for him as proof they were meant to be together, when that video is irrelevant to the topic at hand and led to her getting hurt earlier this season (which Jamie is well aware of). It's a gross thing to brag about. Or how Roy thought he had any right to tell Jamie to back off and acted like a one night stand was proof he and Keeley would definitely get back together.
Or how the two guys said they would 'let her' decide which of them she wanted to be with, without an ounce of self awareness about how sexist and presumptuous that was until she kicked them out of her house. But then, that was the end of it. No other conversations or conclusions to that conflict other than some vague background moments with no dialogue that may or may not have been a dream sequence.
What was the point of all the buildup of their intertwined relationships throughout the entire show if the payoff was going to be so... empty and unconcluded?
Don't get me wrong, I don't think any of them should have gotten together this soon, since Roy really needs to work on himself emotionally and Keeley needs to have some time to herself and focus on other areas of her life right now. Jamie is arguably in the best place for a relationship, but wouldn't have a partner ready for him in either (or both) of them right now. And I'm glad at least the stupid fight seemed to spark a realization in Roy that he had more growing to do.
But while I didn't need the three of them to declare their love for each other in the finale, I'm disappointed with the weirdly possessive, jealous behavior from Roy and Jamie as well as the lack of any real resolution, and think all of these characters deserved better after everything they've been through together and the growing they've all done.
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when people say that jamie tartt is anything but loosey goosy with his sexuality
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i love that jamie undersold just how crazy he was about roy. like "yeah i had a poster of you and loved watching you play when you were good." okay, roy's a pretty big deal, that's normal. lots of kids probably had roy's poster on their wall and liked watching him play; i wouldn't be surprised if isaac or some of the other english players also had a poster. like, i get the sense that he was beckham/rooney levels of famous-names that even i, a degenerate american, knew growing up. hell, i think i even had a rooney poster at one point for the five minutes i was into english football in high school. so like, jamie having had a little hero worship of roy? nbd, roy doesn't really think about it again.
except then he sees the actual poster, and not only does he have simon telling him yeah he's been constantly obsessed with you for years, roy's poster, which has never been taken down, is surrounded by playboy spreads jamie obviously jacked off to, including one very pointedly of his ex gf whom jamie thinks is (one of) the love of his life
way to play it cool, jamie. sorry your mom and stepdad blew up your spot.
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cuddles
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are we all ready for the finale
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