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bitchybutcher · 3 years

Text

Texts I sent a friend the first time I watched The Boys, Season 2:

- Gird your loins

- I’m dying to know more about Black Noir

- Ugh ffs Homelander smarming about on stage at Translucents funeral

- It’s an empty box but I suppose how would people know cause invisible corpse

- WHY IS ANNIE SINGING AT THE INVISIBLE PERVS FUNERAL

- Aw no straight in with Sad Kevin

- Oh ok angry drunk Kevin

- Ugh not these Samaritans Embrace fuckers again

- Oh Annie. Parroting the company line. I hope she’s gonna fuck them all over

- SAD HUGHIE OH NO

- BILLY JOOOOOELLLL

- Aw Kimiko is learning

- Her lil smile

- Oooh Hughie is a liiiiiar

- Meeting on the subway like a couple shifty teenagers

- Oh I forgot they microchipped the supes like dogs

- Oh nooooo young love angst

- Oh no a Sad Kevin incident

- Aaaaand he’s been arrested

- A nice archer bailed him out

- Omfg the fake Butcher re-enactment

- Oh do NOT tell me this crazy bastard is gonna drink the frozen breast milk

- Oh fuck he is

- What the FUCK, HOMELANDER

- This visually impaired ninja seems nice

- That probably means he’s gonna turn out to be a dick

- OH FUCK

- Homelander what the fuuuuuck

- Ok what the shit is happening here in the motel

- WHAT

- What the fuuuuuck

- I – MM is making a dolls house? That’s so cute

- Oh shit smuggled people

- Homelander is nuts with power

- Uhhhh who is Carol and why is she staring at Kevin while he sleeps

- Finally an archer who is honest about how useless they can be once they run out of arrows

- Oh noooo are they gonna try brainwash Kevin with homeopathic stuff? And why do they keep offering him Fresca

- OH FUCK ME NOT ANOTHER RELIGION THING

- Oh Hughie has grown a pair since last season. Good for him

- Where’s Butcherrrrrrrr

- Body gore porn dude is called Gecko that’s too cute a name for him

- Stormfront seems like fun

- She’s gonna be pissing off Homelander so much I like her already

- OH WHAT THE FUCK THE CIA LADYS HEAD EXPLODED

- I like Stan

- Giving Homelander the dressing down he needs

- I know it’s convenient for Toni to wear the padded suit all the time but does Homelander ever wear anything else

- Oh hiiii Becca I still think you’re a bitch and Butcher deserved better

- BUTCHERRRRR YASSSSS

- “Daddy’s home”

- I’m dead. It’s official.

- The fuckin smirk and the voice I’m fuckin dead

- OH NO KEVIN IS TRYING THE CHURCH THING

- Is he making shroom tea

- Why is Patton Oswalt voicing Kevin’s gills this is delightful

- Atrain is awake again that’s not good

- I’m cracking up at Sad Kevin and his singing gills

- Homelander is gone way off the deep end oh boy

- Awwww soft Maeve in the hospital with her girlfriend

- I want to like Becca but I can’t shake the bad feeling

- Homelander is a terrible father

- I mean I know he has no role models to base his parenting on, but yikes

- It’s like if Scar was raising Simba instead of Mufasa

- ….are the gang raiding a party city store

- I love how Frenchie always looks a mix of horrified and amazed whenever Kimiko kills someone

- AWWW IT’S HER BROTHER YAY

- Oh shiiiiiiiit

- Butcher STOP JUST SHOOTING PEOPLE

- You were right this season is weird

- I like Kimiko’s brothers bedazzled denim jacket

- Butcher don’t punch Hughie wtf

- Starting with Hughie listening to the same song again, nice

- Butcher is terrible at apologising it’s so cute

- I’m sorry did Hughie just fall over trying to throw a punch

- The kid’s a dandelion omg

- Why are they on a boat? Did Karl just decide “I like being on boats lemme go on a boat”?

- I see what you mean about Homelander being scary

- He’s completely insane

- Why does this storyboard guys shirt say assbinder

- Chace Crawford is an excessively veiny man

- BLACK NOIR IS CRYING

- Or possibly laughing

- Hard to tell when they have no face

- Annie actually leaked all the compound V stuff good for her

- FRENCHIE KISSED HUGHIE

- Homelander is gonna get this kid killed tryna make him fly

- Honestly the kid looks more like Hughie

- OH MY GOD HE PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF

- OH MY SWEET FUCKING JESUS HOMELANDER YOU CAN’T DO THAT

- Oop there’s the laser eyes

- Oh Homelander is back at the Tower and freaking Maeve out

- OH FUCK THE BROTHER IS LOOSE

- Hughie don’t do it

- Oh ok I thought he was gonna jump off the boat

- Kevin and the cult weirdos are up to something

- Hughie no you don’t call the girl you like crying over Billy Joel lyrics

- Oh god boyo you don’t then drop the L word in the same voice message!

- He’s hopeless

- Oh nooooo Kevin is attacking the boat goddammit Kevin

- OH FUCK A WHALE

- For fuck sake Kevin

- Ewwwww

- Butcher what the fuck

- Hughie having a nervous breakdown inside of a whale

- No but why is Karl so hot covered in blood

- Actually I didn’t even need to include the blood part of that question

- Oh boy here we go, the 7 show up to find Sad Kevin crying over spilt whale

- ….why is Stormfront tryna get all up in Homelander’s ass?? I thought she was cool but now she’s all lemme suck that radioactive dick

- OH NO

- Poor Kevin he’s worked so hard to accept his gills and now Homelander has knocked him back down

- Oooo dear Atrain is having a heart attack again this isn’t good

- Oh fuck is Hughie gon get caught

- Oh no it’s Annie it’s ok

- OH FUCK

- ANNIE WHY

- THAT’S YOUR HUGHIE

- OH MAN KIMIKO’S BROTHER IS BADASS YES SQUASH THE SMUG PRICK

- Oh I do NOT like Stormfront holy fuckin shit what’s wrong with this woman

- Poor Kimiko

- What’s with the random woman talking about calling off her wedding?

- Why is Frenchie taking drugs

- FUCK SAKE FRENCHIE DON’T TRY KISS A GIRL WHEN SHE’S GRIEVING

- What the FUCK is thiiiiis

- Is he dreaming or is this the shapeshifter tryna stay alive by granting Homelander some sick wish

- Yikes I feel bad for Doppelganger

- I am fascinated by whoever and whatever the fuck Black Noir is

- MM sees right through everyone’s bullshit

- I feel so bad for Annie

- Ooooo Atrain getting fired

- MM having to put up with Hughie and Annie having a we didn’t start the fire singalong 😂

- Ok who’s in the weird group therapy sesh with these women with strange views on love

- Vending machine date so cute

- Omfg ahahahaha the girl with the Ed Sheeran tattoo

- I really want to like Becca cause she stands up to Homelander but I can’t shake the suspicions about her

- I feel bad for Butcher

- Homelander is a scary good liar

- Oh shit interviewer lady is pulling out the diversity questions

- OH FUCK

- HE’S OUTED MAEVE

- Poor Maeve what the fuck

- Ugh Stormfront

- Shut your racist hole bitch

- Oh shit Kimiko on the warpath

- Frenchie! Kimiko listen to him he’s tryna help

- MM is doing a lotta sharing this episode

- Ohhhh something bad is gonna come out about this Liberty lady they’re looking for oh fuck

- Wait WHAT. STORMFRONT IS LIBERTY

- Stormfront is like 70????

- She’s really good with social media for an old bird

- Ohhh fuck Homelander is pisssssssssed

- Christ you’d know Homelander was an only child

- Bitch you better not be fucking Butcher over

- I FUCKIN KNEW IT

- BECCA YOU RAGING BITCH

- Got her goodbye fuck then called the supercops on him cause he’s a little broken? FUCK BECCA

- Oh no Annie don’t give Hughie the “we can’t do this” talk

- Pick your emo ass up and stop being melodramatic

- All these women are chatting to Kevin?? Why??

- Also this most recent one is super weird

- THEY WERE INTERVIEWING TO BE KEVINS WIFE

- This cult thing is so fuckin weird omfg

- KEVIN GET YOUR SAD BUTT OUT OF THE CULT

- Oh gross not the Doppelganger shit again

- Doppelganger is really bad at flirting

- ….

- WHAT THE SHIT

- Nonononono don’t do the selfcest

- Not even Homelander is that fucked up

- This is super weird

- Why is Homelander crying

- OH SHIT HE KILLED HIM

- Uhhhh are they doing a lesbian scene in a vcu movie

- Christ that was terrible and way too on the nose

- “Strong female lesbians”

- Homelander you himbo fuck what other kind of lesbian do you get

- I feel bad for Ashley

- She just wants to do her job well

- Poor Butcher. His lil heart is broken

- Oh no baby you’re hurt and upset? That’s so sad let me suck your dick about it

- Oh no what’s he gonna do

- BUTCHER WHAT THE SHIT

- I mean it’s really fuckin hot but still

- There’s always a cut on the cheekbone

- “They’ve been moving her around like a Catholic priest” omg HUGHIE

- Aww he called Hughie his canary

- Oh shit are Frenchie and Kimiko missing?

- KEVIN GOT MARRIED

- BILLY HAS AN AUNTIE

- Doggiiiiie

- Awwwww soft Butcher with his dog

- Aaaand now I feel bad for Atrain cause he’s being kicked to the curb

- Oh gross this interview with Kevin and his cult wife

- This is so cringe holy fuck

- Bring back the Patton Oswalt gills

- Why are the gangsters discussing musicals specifically Hamilton

- FUCKING HELL KIMIKO PEELED OFF THAT GUYS FACE

- Ahahaha the boys showed up at Butchers aunties house

- The dog’s name is Terror that’s so cute

- Hahahaha Hughie was holding the fuck pig

- Why is there a sniper on the roof

- Oh shit it’s Black Noir

- Ugh what does Annie’s mom want and why is Stormfront being her friend

- Oh hey it’s dickless

- These two writer dudes are hella irritating

- Poor Elena getting dragged into this shit

- Yes Maeve scheme against his ass

- Heartbroken Butcher is so tired

- He needs a hug

- Hughie give Butcher a hug please

- Why is Kimiko in a church

- Oh hey its Frenchie’s other girlfriend

- Oh ok Kimiko is doing hits that’s fair

- The old man just looking away like “I do not see it”

- Aw no Frenchie don’t break up with Kimiko

- Oh fuck off Cult Kevin

- Stormfront again?????

- Does this bitch ever fuck off

- DID SHE JUST CALL ATRAIN GARBAGE

- Wait why is Homelander giving an unapproved speech

- This is gonna end in someone getting murdered isn’t it

- OH FUCK

- That’s a lot more murder than I expected

- Ohhhh phew ok he was just daydreaming

- Ashley is gonna go bald from stress

- I adore grumpy Butcher

- Omg auntie Judy is a drug dealer I love her

- Ohhhh shit Homelander is having a nervous breakdown

- BOBBY FROM X-MEN????

- Uhhhh why is Homelander talking to Stormfront this can’t be good

- Ooh MM set a trap this gon be good

- BUTCHER HAS A BROTHER???? THAT HUGHIE IS LIKE

- Oop Lenny is dead

- The random explosions as Black Noir trips the traps

- Oh shit Butcher locked the others out to face Black Noir alone

- YES MM

- OH NO MM

- YES HUGHIE

- Oh fuck did he KO Butcher

- Shiiiit shit shit shit

- Yes Butcher save your Hughie

- Oh good they all survived

- For fuck sake Kevin stop with the cult shit

- Maeve please save Kevin from the cult

- Annie why are you sneaking around don’t do it

- There’s a lot of shots of Annie’s bum

- What the fuck is Sage Grove

- Stormfront needs to go choke on a bag of dicks

- Oh fuck no not Homelander again

- Uhhhhhhh

- Stormfront x Homelander was not what I was expecting

- These two have the WEIRDEST relationship

- They’re gonna do some really fucked up supe bdsm shit aren’t they

- Frenchie is Betty White. Fair enough

- Wait what is happening. Why is Annie letting Frenchie at her with a lil saw

- Ohhh the chip

- “This might sting a little” FRENCHIE IT’S A FUCKIN SAW

- Oh fuck that’s a big chip

- Oh look it’s loves psychotic dream

- Well that’s suitably gross

- Aww Kimiko hugging Annie

- Butcher is so menacing I love him

- Kevin tryna be helpful to his buddies he’s so cute

- NO! NO BAD KEVIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE JOIN YOUR CULT

- Kimiko with her brass knuckle

- Oh man, flowers??? Homelander has it BAD

- Annie back the fuck off and leave Butcher alone

- OH SHIT IT’S STORMFRONT AT THE HOSPITAL NOOOO

- What the fuck is going on at this hospital

- OH FUCK BOBBY FROM X-MEN IS LAMPLIGHTER

- Oh shit who got let out

- What does Cindy do

- OH SHIT SHE’S THE HEAD BURSTER

- Aaaaaaand now they’re all out

- Good job, guys

- Ewwwwww acid vomit

- OH NO HUGHIE

- Are you kidding me?? Annie can’t go all Starlight unless there’s a power source in the immediate vicinity??

- What kinda fuckin shite superpower is that

- Aha Butcher agrees with me

- Ok so I’m guessing Homelander went berserk on set

- Uhhhh apparently Cult Lunch is a therapy sesh?

- Atrain get outta there

- This cult leader guy is an arsehole

- Hospital escape lookin like a horror survival game

- Awwww flashbacks to happy times

- Omfg Butcher with the slicked back hair

- Welp, Annie just killed a guy

- Oh shit a baby seat

- Annie is gonna have a bad case of the guilts now

- Oh fuck ok Lamplighter killed the kids by accident

- So Frenchie went to save his friend instead of tailing

- Oh god that’s the penis isn’t it

- Stormfront to the…rescue? Maybe? She’s gonna kill Lamplighter isn’t she

- Oh, no ok she didn’t kill him

- Aw no sad Butcher cause Hughie’s hurt

- Oh nooooo Elena found a video from the plane

- Mallory gon kill sad Lamplighter?

- Stormfront is coming clean to Homelander? Whaaaa

- She was buddies with the Nazis??? SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE VOUGHT FOUNDER GUY

- Oh fuck the head burster is still alive

- A montage of how Stormfront is brainwashing people into racist attacks, nice

- I hate Annie’s mom so much

- Black Noir has just fuckin LAMPED Annie

- Butchers mum called him 😂😂

- Oh shit his dad died

- Why are Hughie and Lamplighter watching knock off supe porn

- Oh boy a racist rally

- Homelander just threw Annie under the bus

- Hughie that’s a really weird pep talk

- And he’s gonna get Lamplighter killed

- BUTCHERS MUM IS ADORABLE

- Oh shit it’s Denethor

- And he’s not dead

- Oh fuck he’s why Lenny died?

- Shit Lenny shot himself

- Butcher was SAS???

- WHERE ARE MY PICS OF BUTCHER IN HIS ARMY UNIFORM

- Ah fuck he’s bringing stepmommy Stormfront to meet the kid

- I have an urge to run my fingers through Butchers beard

- Frenchie and Kimiko are too cute she’s teaching him her sign language

- Is this a cult birthday party?

- Poor Eagle the Archer. He pissed off the cult so he’s gon be excommunicated

- Uhhhh kiddo made a Lego film?

- Good for him

- I know it shouldn’t be sexy when Butcher starts threatening to brutally murder people in his growly voice, I know, but hear me out: sexy growly voice

- 11/10 would let Karl Urban murder me

- Oh FUCK Lamplighter killed himself

- Poor Hughie

- Why do all the bad things happen to him, like having to saw off a dead guy’s hand with a broken whiskey decanter

- Annie versus Black Noir, beat his/her ass girl!

- HUGHIE COME SAVE YOUR ANNIE

- YAY MAEVE

- Black Noir has an almond allergy that’s such an off the wall weakness

- Annie’s favourite chocolate bar saved her life

- Well Maeve did, technically. But still

- Omg Hughie accidentally saving Annie’s mom

- Hughie and Annie are too cute

- Oh shiiiiit Homelander screwed the pooch and showed the kid everything

- HAHA SUCK IT BECCA

- OH SHIT HEADS ARE BURSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE

- Butcher in his lil jumper

- For a non-American, this school safety psa video is supremely weird

- BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS CALLED BOB

- BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS JUST BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURAL BUT FANCY

- Annie’s mom critiquing her choice in boyfriends while in mortal danger is gas

- And typical

- The lads going nuts with weapons they’re so happy look at them

- And Butcher in his lil jumper again he looks so comfy

- I would very much like to cuddle him in the soft jumper and give him beard scritches

- Annie ffs let Hughie enjoy his Billy Joel, that’s a good choice

- Ahahaha Maeve just called Hughie a twink

- She’s not wrong

- Oh fuck off Becca

- Uuuuugh OF COURSE Mr Edgar is in with the cult

- Oop Atrain overheard all of that

- Poor Ashley she’s going bald from stress

- The kid is gonna have a meltdown

- Poor Hughie with his mom leaving

- I wonder if she’ll pop up at some point and turn out to be a supe that would be fun

- ATRAIN YOU CAN’T JUST APPEAR IN A CAR LIKE THAT YOU COULDA KILLED SOMEONE

- Hold the phone is Homelander actually being a good dad for a minute

- What the actual fuck is Stormfront on with this white genocide shit

- Ahahaha the news broke

- Uh oh the Vought soldiers got caught by Homelander

- OH SHIT

- MM BETTER BE OK

- Becca fuckin constantly squawking about Ryan is so annoying

- WHY IS KIMIKO LAUGHING

- It’s adorable but still

- Oh FUCK she snapped her neck

- She’ll be fine

- She’s like a wolverine, snapped neck won’t keep her down

- AYYYYY MAEVE

- The lads just watching them kicking the shit out of her like uhhh

- Oh hey Becca did something useful and stabbed the Nazi in the eye

- Huh. The kid melted Stormfront

- Good for him

- AHAHAHA YES HE GOT BECCA TOO

- BYEEEEE FELICIAAAAA

- I mean yeah, heartbroken sad Butcher isn’t nice to see, but Becca sucked

- Aaaand now Homelander covered in blood has arrived to listen to Stormfront babble in German

- This is like in those scenes where it’s like oh who will the dog go to

- Ayyy Atrain got back into the 7

- Aww poor Kevin getting rejected again

- See Kevin this is why we don’t join cults

- Annie thought he was breaking up with her, girl don’t be daft

- Butcher and the kid, not awkward at all

- The one lesson Butcher can teach a kid – “don’t be a cunt”

- Aww happy endings for all the boys

- Aaaaand a “happy ending” for Homelander too by the looks of it

- Oh ffs a corrupt politician in with the cult, what a surprise

- HIS HEAD BURST

- Wait the politician lady is the head burster? I’m so confused

- Confusion may have been aided by it being almost 3am

- Hughie getting a real job, bless him

- Too bad it’s with the head burster

- Oh this is such a good song to end the season with

- Welp, now begins the long wait for season 3, I guess

- Should I sleep or find fic to read

- Body says sleep, heart says fic

- That’s a lie, heart says Butcher

- ….Butcher fics it is

#theboys #theboystv #theboysmemes #theboystextposts #I'm back with more insanity #middle of the night is probably not a good time to be texting but hey ho #I'm still a shameless ho for Billy Butcher #that's so sad let me suck your dick about it #I mean like damn #Karl Urban doesn't mess around when it comes to thirst trapping #I need season 3 like yesterday #amazon please #the boys #season 3 #I need it

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spidermecc · 5 years

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Is this it?- Ch. 1 (an elu au)

Summary: Eliott is with Lucille, he has his own apartment and he goes to uni. Life hasn’t always been easy on him, but things are finally looking up, and he’s content. So when Lucille asks him to meet her family, he agrees, as is expected of him. But what he didn't expect, was for Lucille's younger brother, Lucas, to take his breath away. ___ “The first thing that catches his eye is the boy’s soft eyes. They were so.. blue. Someone punch him in the face if he ever compares someone’s eyes to the sky or the sea, he will not be that guy. But holy shit, he could really get lost in those eyes”.

”Babe, don’t forget dinner at my parents’ place tomorrow” Lucille says, tying her shoelaces.

”Yeah, don’t worry I didn’t forget. I’ll come over right after uni, okay?” Eliott smiles, trying hard to give her a convincing smile.

Lucille was great, she really was. They had been friends since high school, and she’d always been there for him. Eliott wasn’t stupid, he knew that she’d had a thing for him throughout high school, always hoping that their friendship would blossom into something more. He’d always cared about her, and depended on her, but he also knew that it would never develop into anything further, he just didn’t see her that way.

Well, he thought he knew. During their last year of high school, Eliott had been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and it had turned his world upside down. He’d successfully pushed all of his friends away, not being able to deal with them walking on eggshells around him, always afraid that they might say or do something that would push him over the edge.

He had enough of that at home. His parents would always keep an eye on him, treating him like an infant, worrying when he didn’t answer texts right away or didn’t pick up the phone on the first try. After he was diagnosed, it was as if they’d forgotten that he was still a regular person, still the same son they’d always known. It was as if, his disorder had taken away his right to have bad days, and good ones for that matter. Always having to explain himself, reassure his parents that no he wasn’t having an episode, he was just really fucking tired.

After a year of being constantly watched by his parents, he finally convinced them that it was probably be for the best, if he moved out. He needed his own space. They’d reluctantly agreed, after settling on a few terms, one of them being, that they’d have dinner together at least once a week.

Lucille had been the only friend he wasn’t able to push away. She was simply too stubborn. No matter how cruel he was to her, no matter how much he ignored her or told her he didn’t need her, she kept coming back. She’d leave him be for a few days, but then she’d be back, assuring him that she wasn’t going anywhere. At first he had truly resented her for it, simply wanting her to leave him the fuck alone. But over time, as he realized she wasn’t going to leave him be, he began to embrace it. She’d become his rock, his safe harbor. No matter how bad he fucked up, he knew she would always be back, and Eliott found some comfort in that – having a constant, in his messy and sometimes chaotic life.

She’d even helped him reconnect with Idriss and Sofiane. After months of radio silence, he’d finally mustered up the courage to contact them again, and they’d been understanding and supportive, just like Lucille said they would. He could never thank her enough for pushing him to contact them again. He doesn’t know how he’d even survived those months without them. But then again, those first few months, after he got diagnosed, were still somewhat blurry in his mind.

Now, both in uni, they’d found themselves in some sort of comfortable routine. They’d never really discussed what they were, simply drifting into a relationship over time. But they were comfortable and he was content, he could only assume that Lucille felt the same way.

That is, until last week when Lucille asked him if he’d want to meet her family. And really, what was he supposed to say? They had known each other for years now, she was practically his family, and he knew how much it meant to her. She had been dropping hints that she wanted to introduce him to them, for weeks now, so it didn’t come as a shock when she finally asked. And so, he’d reluctantly agreed.

He tried not to think too much about what it would mean for their relationship, going forward. Would she want to meet his parents as well? Would she start arranging double dates with their friends? Would they become a ‘we-couple’? “We don’t watch TV before going to bed”, “we try not to eat meat at home”, “we can’t come to the party” - we, we we.

Just thinking about it made Eliott’s heart race, and honestly if he was going to survive tomorrow, he had to just.. not think too much about it. Which was practically impossible, seeing as he had a way of overthinking everything. Sometimes he’d overthinking the smallest things, like encounters with the cashier at the supermarket or conversations with his professors. He could be in the shower, when he’d suddenly think of something he should have answered instead of what he did answer. He would create a completely new conversation in his head, replaying it over and over, until he couldn’t remember how the actual conversation had gone. Only snapping out of it, when the hot water betrayed him, finally turning cold.

“I can’t wait” Lucille says, softly yanking Eliott down to match her height, giving him a soft peck on the mouth.

“Although I’m a bit nervous about you meeting Lucas” she smiles, lips still on his.

Lucas was Lucille’s younger brother. She always spoke fondly about him, telling Eliott stories of how brave he was coming out to his family and the entire school. And Eliott had to admit that he sounded like a cool guy.. for a high schooler, that is.

“Why’s that?”

“Let’s just say he can be a bit uh-” she brings her head back, meeting Eliott’s eyes “grumpy”.

“I can work with grumpy” he assures her, as he gently nudges her towards the front door “now go, before you miss your class again”.

“You’re right, I’ll see you tomorrow” she salutes, giving him one last kiss on the cheek and then she’s out the door.

He shuffles into the kitchen, pouring himself coffee that Lucille had made a few hours ago. It’s not even lukewarm anymore, but it’s still caffeine, it’ll suffice.

As he plops down on his couch, he lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. The harder he tries not to think about meeting Lucille’s parents, the more he does. It reminds him of something his teacher in kindergarten once said:

“I’m going to make all of you think about the exact same thing at the same time”

That’s impossible, little Eliott thought to himself. She’s no magician, otherwise she’d surely have turned the awful lunch into something delicious, like pizza!

“Okay so listen to me. Under no circumstances, are any of you allowed to think about a pink elephant right now, okay?”

Eliott’s mind immediately started picturing a big cartoon elephant. It was pink, of course.

“I bet you all thought of a pink elephant, didn’t you?” the teacher asked.

All the kids nodded in unison, Eliott included.

“If you want someone to think about something in particular, just tell them not to, and they immediately will. It’s human nature”.

It’s human nature, Eliott thinks to himself. Is it human nature to obsess over every little thing? Sometimes he spent hours thinking whether it was his illness that had made him that way or if it was simply the way he was wired. Was it even possible to separate the two things? If it was his illness, then surely it must also be the way he’s wired, right?

He lets out another sigh, sipping his, now ice cold, coffee.

It’ll be fine he tells himself it doesn’t have to change anything. Maybe if he repeats it enough, he’ll actually believe it. __

His last class ends at 4pm, which gives him exactly one hour before he has to be at Lucille’s parents’ house.

According to Google Maps, their house is a 20-minute walk from campus, so he decides to go the opposite direction, towards his favorite coffee shop.

As he enters the shop, the familiar aroma reaches his nostrils straight away. There’s something about coffee shops, that just screams; home, comfort and familiarity to him. He’d made it his personal mission to try as many independent coffee shops in Paris, as he could. But this one was his go-to, he’d been here more times than he could count, and it had actually gotten to the point where he didn’t even have to place his order anymore. The few baristas that worked there, all knew what his usual was. So he’d simply go up to the register, exchange polite greetings, pay for the coffee and then they’d bring him his drink.

As he makes his way up to the register, he immediately notices that there’s a new guy behind the register. He’s definitely new, because Eliott is sure that he’d remember that face.

The first thing that catches his eye is the boy’s soft eyes. They were so..blue. Someone punch him in the face if he ever compares someone’s eyes to the sky or the sea, he will not be that guy. But holy shit, he could really get lost in those eyes.

The boy has soft brown hair, sticking in every possible direction, as if he’d combed his hands through it one too many times. Eliott really wished that he could comb through the boys’ hair, just once, just to satisfy his curiosity.

The boy is fidgeting with his apron, furrowing his brows, as he tries to tie the apron on the back, around his small waist. Eliott wonders what it would feel like to wrap his hands around that waist.

After a few moments, of what could only be described as staring, he finally walks up to the register, trying to act as natural as possible. As if he wasn’t staring at an actual angel in an apron.

“Hi, what can I get you?” the boy asks, as he finally manages to secure the apron successfully and notices Eliott.

“Salut, I’ll have a latte with soy milk” Eliott announces, not taking his eyes off the boy, who’s actually writing down the order on his notepad. Eliott is pretty sure that he’s never seen anyone else do that, and he can’t help it when a smile forms on his lips.

“Oh, and could I have some cocoa powder on top?” he adds hastily. It’s been so long since he actually placed the order, that he’d managed to forget the most important thing.

“Cocoa on top” the boy says to himself, as he scribbles on his notepad “anything else?”

Please look at me again.

“Nope, that’s it” he answers as he pulls out his wallet.

Instead of settling at his usual table in the corner, he sits next to the window, where he has a perfect view of the register, without having to crane his neck.

And okay, Eliott knows he shouldn’t be staring at the cute boy behind the counter. First of all, he is with Lucille, and he is happy, he really is. Second of all, the boy hadn’t spared him a single glance since he sat down, which was a pretty good indication that he definitely wasn’t interested.

Not that Eliott wanted him to be interested. What would he even say, if the boy did show interest? You’re really cute, but I have a girlfriend. Also, could you please memorize my order so we never have to interact again, pretty please with cocoa on top?

No, definitely not.

As he takes out his laptop from his bag pack, the boy comes over with his coffee.

“One latte with soy milk and cocoa on top” he announces proudly as he sets it on the table, with too much force, resulting in half of the coffee landing on the table.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry!” he exclaims, frantically pulling out tissues from a nearby table.

“Don’t worry about it, I wasn’t even thirsty really” Eliott assures him, pushing his laptop away, before it gets soaked in coffee.

“It’s only my second shift, so I’m still a bit rusty” he explains, as he continues wiping the table “I’ll get you another one, on the house”.

“There’s really no need” Eliott assures him, trying not to dwell too much on the sweet cologne the boy is wearing. He’s not trying to smell the boy, but he’s just so close, leaning in over Eliott, to wipe the coffee before it lands on the floor.

Snap out of it Eliott.

“I actually have to go now anyway, but if I could get the rest in a to-go cup?” he asks, suddenly desperate to get out of the shop. He’s supposed to meet his girlfriend’s parents, not sniff the baristas’ cologne. No matter how cute the barista might be.

“Oh, yeah of course” the boy says grabbing the cup of coffee, which is almost empty by now. But Eliott is really a glass half full kind of guy, so he doesn’t mind it too much.

“Again, I’m really sorry” he says handing Eliott a paper cup with the remaining coffee “next time you come in, just tell them that Lucas owes you a coffee on the house”.

Lucas. That’s a pretty name.

Eliott can’t stop himself from letting out a soft laugh.

“I will, don’t worry about it, really”

He catches the boys’ eyes and suddenly he’s overcome with the urge to compare them to the sea again.

Lucas looks at him expectantly, waiting for Eliott to introduce himself as well.

But he doesn’t, too afraid that if he shakes his hand, sparks might fly, the electricity might circuit and all that, so he simply grabs his bag and coffee and walks out, making sure not to look back at Lucas, whose gaze he feels on his back, the whole way out. ___

As he gets closer to Lucille’s parents’ house, he automatically starts walking slower, trying to steady his breathing. It’s going to be fine, it’s just dinner.

So why does it feel like more? Like he’s reaching a point of no return. If he does this, then they’re officially a couple-couple.

Is he ready for that?

Just 10 minutes ago he was ogling the cute barista shamelessly. A good boyfriend wouldn’t do that.

Fuck, he really needs to get his shit together. Lucille needs this, she needs him to get a fucking grip and do this for her, and that’s what he’s going to do. He owes her that much.

He takes a deep breath before ringing the bell. Here goes nothing.

When the door opens, he almost does a double take. The middle aged woman, with brown hair, cut just above her shoulders, looks just like Lucille. Or rather, Lucille looks just like her.

“Eliott!” she exclaims, reaching out her arms and pulling him through the threshold.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you” she beams, “I’m Diane, Lucille’s mom” she continues, still holding on to Eliott’s arms.

She radiates warmth, and Eliott can’t help but return her smile.

“It’s so nice to meet you as well Mrs. Lallemant” he answers genuinely.

“Oh no no” she says, flailing her arms “call me Diane, or don’t call me anything at all”.

Eliott feels a faint blush reaching his cheeks “so nice to meet you Diane”.

She pulls him into a hug, and Eliott automatically stiffens. He doesn’t like to be touched, especially not by strangers. But still, he returns the hug with as much conviction as he can.

When she finally releases him, she gently nudges him into the hallway, and gestures for the coat rack.

“You can leave your bag and coat here, dinner isn’t quite ready yet, and we’re still waiting for Lucas, he’ll get off work in half an hour or so”.

That’s when the smell reaches Eliott’s nostrils. It smells like butter and onions, and he can’t help but let out a faint moan, as he takes in the smell. He’s pretty sure he hasn’t had a decent home cooked meal in, what feels like, months. He’s not the greatest cook himself, and neither is Lucille. They always praise themselves lucky when Lucille’s roommate, Amélie, cooks for them. Sometimes if he’s lucky, he even gets to take leftovers home.

“It smells amazing Mrs – Diane” he corrects himself awkwardly, as he receives another warm smile.

“Hi baby” Lucille says as she emerges from the living room, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. She’s never been a big fan of PDA, and neither has Eliott, they’ve always agreed on that. Never wanting to be that couple, who subject strangers to their affection publicly.

“I take it you’ve met my mom?”

“Oh he has” Diane says, and if Eliott isn’t completely mistaken, giving her daughter a, not-so-subtle, wink.

Guess he didn’t mess up, just yet.

Lucille beams at her mother and gently strokes his arm comfortingly. She knows he’s not a big fan of meeting new people.

“As I just told Eliott, dinner will be ready soon, but we still have to wait for your dear brother” Diane says “why don’t you introduce Eliott to your father and I’ll bring us all something to drink?”

Lucille nods at her mother as she takes Eliott’s hand into her own.

“I know you hate this, but I swear you’re going to love them as soon as you get to know them” she whispers in his ear.

Eliott answers with a reassuring nod, as he places his hand on her lower back. He wants her to know that he’s determined to do this for her. He wants to make her happy, she deserves as much.

Lucille’s dad is sitting in an armchair, in the corner of the living room, reading glasses on the bridge of his nose, seemingly lost in a book. Eliott tilts his head slightly, so see the cover of the book. The Goldfinch, he mentally approves of the man’s choice of book, it’s one of Eliott’s personal favorites.

“Dad, I’d like you to meet Eliott” Lucille says as she takes the book out of his hand and gestures for him him to get up.

“Ah, Eliott!” he exclaims, as he takes off his glasses and places them on the chair “so you’re the guy that stole my little girls’ heart” he laughs, a smile forming on his lips.

A nervous laugh escapes Eliott’s mouth, because what is he supposed to say to that?

“I’m Victor, it’s great to finally put a face to the name. We’ve heard so much about” he says, reaching out his hand, which Eliott quickly grabs and shakes.

“So nice to meet you as well Mr. Lallemant” he says, retrieving his hand and swiftly placing both of them in his jeans pockets.

It’s not that Mr. and Mrs. Lallemant didn’t seem like nice people, because they did. They radiated warmth, but Eliott couldn’t rid the urge of fleeing out of the house. It was all so formal, so serious. He obviously knew that their relationship would come to this one day, but still, he wasn’t ready for this just yet.

If you’re not ready after almost two years, when will you be?

He desperately tries to push the chaotic jumble of thoughts to the back of his mind. He just has to get through tonight, this is the worst part. After this, he will be okay.

It’s just a few hours, it’s just a few hours, it’s just a few hours.

“Eliott dear, why don’t you take a seat?”

Mrs. Lallemant was back from the kitchen, with a tray of glasses and a big bottle of, what Eliott could only assume, was homemade lemonade. She pours everyone a glass, and takes a seat next to her husband, one hand nursing her lemonade, the other drawing circles on Mr. Lallemant’s back.

For the first time in what feels like hours, he realizes that Lucille is still standing next to him, never having left, her reassuring hand still on his lower back. He appreciates the gesture, but it really makes no difference, she could he cooing soft words in his ear the whole time and he’d still feel uncomfortable as ever.

He takes a seat next to her, and starts making small talk with Mr. and Mrs. Lallemant. After a few minutes, he feels himself easing up. They’re easy to talk to, and they don’t ask too many personal questions. Something tells him, that Lucille instructed them, before he got here.

Just as Mrs. Lallemant is telling Eliott about her special lasagna recipe, the front door slams open.

“Oh that must be Lucas, he’s home early” Mrs. Lallemant places her glass on the table as she gets up to greet her son.

Eliott gets up from the couch and wipes his slightly sweaty palms on the back of his pants, as he prepares himself for another round of half-awkward introductions and politeness.

There’s some slight commotion in the hallway, a silhouette frantically trying to hang his coat on the overstuffed rack. Eliott immediately notices that he is very small, compared to the rest of his family.

When the boy enters the living room, Eliott swears his heart stops.

He’s greeted with those baby blue eyes, and recognition washes over the younger boy’s face just as quickly.

It’s him.. It’s the breathtakingly beautiful barista. And fuck, he’s just as handsome as Eliott remembers him. Don’t look him in the eyes, stop staring, stop staring.

Lucas slowly approaches him, almost as if he’s afraid Eliott might bolt again. Fat chance of that happening, seeing as Eliott is practically frozen on the spot.

“Hi, I’m Lucas” he says softly, catching Eliott’s flickering gaze, as he reaches out a slightly trembling hand “you must be Eliott”.

#elu fic #elu au #skam france #elu #skamfr #fanfic #*nervously logs off tumblr after posting this*#*sweats profously*#is this it?

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winter--vagabond · 7 years

Text

Yellow Is A Very Influential Colour

Here on AO3

Fandom: Red vs. Blue

Word Count: 1131

Summary: Your life is full of random shit. There's always something happening. But that's how you planned it right?Your best friend is hopeless when it comes to having actual crushes. He acts all cocky, but he has no fucking clue how to deal with crushes. Your brother is the same way, except he just brushes you off. Your friends throw insane parties and are prone to awful injuries that should've killed them, but everyone's still alive somehow. You're also pretty sure your neighbours are cops...

Additional Notes: Possibly a series with different character’s perspectives. It’s a work in progress..... This one however is from Sister’s... kind of... More at the end...

You know what Tucker’s thinking, he’s easy to read.

“I don’t have a crush on him!” His eyes say otherwise and you keep your smile hidden. It had been three days since the Dakota twins’ party. Three days since a nerf dart hit David Washington in the eye. Three days since Tucker was the only one sober enough to administer first aid on a very grumpy blonde. That is… as soon as he stopped laughing. He told you about the whole endeavour the following morning over lunch since you were too busy that night “dancing on the counter while singing ‘single ladies’ and talking very loudly about the chick you hooked up with last weekend.”

“It wasn't just one chick” You told him.

“Okay yeah…. Wait, what?!”

He told you about how the guy was very tipsy and babbled a lot and was ‘kind of cute’ but he definitely didn’t have a crush on him.

You ask him out for coffee later, knowing full well that Tucker’s “not crush” works at the cafe. He nods and tells you that he’ll have to bring Junior. You tell him it’s fine. He’s like your own kid without having one. You’d never carry through a full term, that’s too much commitment. You’re not ready to be a full time mother, Tucker’s kid is enough. You wave goodbye and part ways, “See you later” his car starts and you’re alone again.

Your phone dings, informing you that your stupid brother is asking you to pick up groceries because he’s “stuck at work.” Work meaning sitting on the couch watching a marathon that he simply couldn't miss. You tell him to ask his boyfriend to go pick up stuff, you’re busy. He calls bullshit on that “also Simmons and I are just friends asshole.”

“Yeah friends with benefits” you text back and walk to your car for an impromptu trip to the store.

He tells you to fuck off and sends you the grocery list.

“You know, Kai” Tucker’s handing his son a napkin, trying to keep his eyes away from the front of the cafe. “Something tells me you knew he would be here.” You feign ignorance, sipping your coffee and letting your eyes wander around the cafe. Junior is covered in cake crumbs and his face has whipped cream on it.

Tucker makes to tell you off, but he’s smiling. Both about his son and the fact that you know everything that happens in this town. You hand Junior the other half of your pastry, his face lights up as he gobbles it down. Gathering your things, you get up to leave, “His name is Wash and he’s single” You catch a glimpse of Tucker’s little smirk as the door shuts behind you. You ould probably be the best lowkey wingman ever. Probably. If Tucker knew how to talk to the people he crushed on.

The couch is calling you, but so is the pile of dishes. One just happens to be more interesting than the other. You sigh and start doing the stupid dishes. Stupid… stupi- oh shit the groceries. You left the fucking groceries at the store when you got distracted by the hot checkout guy. The really, really hot checkout guy with a nice butt and holy shit was Dex gonna lose it.

You forgo the dish duty for your car keys, mentally berating yourself.

“How do you just forget a cart full of groceries?!” Could he not talk with food in his mouth for once? At least he seems to be getting better, probably due to Simmons. You roll your eyes and stack the last of the soup cans in his cabinet. “It’s here now, fucking chill.”

Grif huffs and throws the plastic bags in a container. You ask him about how job hunting is going. He asks you the same question. You both sit in silence and listen to the cars outside.

“You know you’d probably have an easier time if you moved out of Tucker’s place and actually settled down with someone.”

“And your life would be easier if you fucking asked Simmons to marry you already.”

He laughed, shoving you toward the door. Simmons is always a touchy subject with him. “Okay thanks for stopping by sis, love you bye.” A door shut in your face, the usual when visiting Dex. You make your way back to your car. What a day it’s been today…

The drive home is awful. Traffic sucks, the radio sucks, and your car is almost out of gas. You wonder if Tucker made dinner or if he ordered out. Either way there better be food when you get there. If you get there. God the traffic is horrible. You honk your horn despite knowing that it won’t do anything. It just makes a lot of noise, causing the rest of the traffic to follow suit with obnoxious honking. Domino effect. At least it’s moving a little bit...

What is with this awful traffic today anyways? It’s usually not this bad. You see the lights first. Oh a car wreck what else is new. Wait a minute, that’s Tex’s car. Tex ran into… oh shit.

You turn on your hazards and park on the side of the highway. Tex is sitting in the back of the ambulance. The paramedics are extracting Maine from York’s car. She beckons you over, letting the police know that “it’s okay she’s a friend.” You take a seat next to her.

“Where’s York?” You ask and she looks at the wrecked car.

“They took him about 10 minutes ago… I didn’t see how bad he was, no one will let me get close or help.”

She didn’t look too injured, a few cuts here and there. Probably was going to have bruises, but surely was in better shape than the man still trapped in the car. You look back towards the blonde.

“Do you want me to call Church?”

“Nah. I suspect the hospital already called Carolina for York so Church shouldn’t be too far behind on the news.”

You don’t remember how long you sat there, but it was long enough for them to get Maine out of the car and finally take him to the hospital. The only major thing you saw was the rather large shard of glass protruding from his throat. You ask Tex if she needed a ride home. She declined saying something about Church coming soon. You get in your car sitting there a bit trying to process everything. You wonder if Tucker’s heard, you wonder if Wash has heard of his best friend’s accident, you wonder if Maine will be okay. You drive home. You're not super close to either of them, but you’ll visit them both in the hospital tomorrow.

End Notes: Howdy! So this is my first time posting a non-joke fic and also my first time writing in second person POV. It was actually really interesting writing this way and honestly, it didn't work any other way. Second POV was how I started the first line and changing to third person made everything sound weird. So, voilà!

I'd also like to point out that while this is originally a Tuckington fic, it felt best to explore it from Kaikaina's POV. Rest assured, this may be a side story to the actual fic. I haven't decided yet.

#kai writes #red vs blue #rvb #rvb fics #rvb fanfic #red vs blue fanfiction #kaikaina grif #lavernius tucker #agent washington #agent texas #agent carolina #dexter grif #dick simmons

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