#shot him between the eyes like david and fucking goliath

[cowboyunderscore]

i dont talk about this nearly enough so im going to do it now: its so so important and awesome to me that dunya didn’t fire the gun.

like, obviously it would have been badass of her to fire it and kill svidrigailov, yeah. but.

throughout the book, dunya is compared to raskolnikov very heavily and enthusiastically (much by razumikhin, but thats another story), in both her appearance and content of her character. this, along with being the family martyr become among the only things we really get to know about her (she’s a female side character in an 1800’s russian novel, surprise surprise). so being alike to raskolnikov is her box. her main box. all the characters have boxes, that’s her box.

being so strongly compared to raskolnikov, it sets up expectations for her to follow suit in his nihilistic ideologies, or perhaps his violent tendency. so, when she has the revolver in her hand, it is forced into mind that she is supposedly just like raskolnikov. then, moment of truth, she doesn’t shoot. well, she does, but she misses on purpose—thats beside the point. she warns, like a rattlesnake before it bites. she separates herself so gracefully, proving that she has one thing raskolnikov doesnt: mercy. she shows mercy to svidrigailov, implied murderer and rapist, leaving him to dwell in his philosophy and existential misery. she separates herself, and in doing so, she proves what vast strength she has. it’s something she is proving constantly throughout the book, over and over, but this final move of not falling into the open hands of murder, she proves her goodness. she shows us that she is not her brother, because she’s better. when faced with the chance to murder someone who really deserved it she didnt kill, and that by no means weakens her. she shows she’s better than raskolnikov (or who he was becoming, trying to be), luzhin, svidrigailov, what have you. and also like??? fuck?? i love her?? people are out here NOT giving her the attention she deserves and it shows. but all in all shes entirely different and shows that over and over leading up to this scene. i just think this moment is important in finalizing that separation of characterization, and annoying how the other characters can’t see her individuality.

sorry for the rant i know it was mostly repetition of the “shes a different character than raskolnikov and i think thats fucking SICK” thing

anyways i love her the weddings next week

#crime and punishment #raskolnikov #dostoevksy #avdotya romanovna raskolnikova #ruslit #like oh my god #shes so cool #and way stronger than me i would have #killed #shot him between the eyes like david and fucking goliath

[rockofeye]

Out of the depths.

It is somehow appropriate that a re-emergence and re-alignment comes with the beginning of the month of May. May is a big month for vodouizan; we celebrate Kouzen and all his family this month and, for people from Jacmel, it is a month devoted to celebrating Jacmel's heritage, which is tied closely to Kouzen. It is said Jacmel is where Kouzen was from before he went to more rural areas; it's not a coincidence that fet Jacmel and fet St Jacques e St Philippe (the patrons of Jacmel) are celebrated on the same days as fet Kouzen (May 1 and May 2).

I've been thinking about Kouzen a lot lately. It's been a difficult year in a lot of ways, but not a bad year. COVID has really permanently changed how things in my professional field work, and with the help of Kouzen and a few of my other lwa, I managed to leverage that into a position using all my professional strengths with the org that has been my target for employment for years. Landing that has not only been life-changing and future-solidifying, but really reinforces that I know what I know and that I am an expert at what I do.

That's a lesson that comes from Kouzen, and it's one that I struggle to learn and remember in my life. Kouzen shows me balance: he is the expert worker in his field (literal and figurative), but you might never know that from how he does his work. Underestimate him and you'll find out, but how he carries himself keeps his mastery of work and growth and agriculture from being the first thing that you see.

I'm pretty okay with that part, but that's the part I get tripped up about. I don't find anything fulfilling professionally or personally about illustrating what I know,, but there is a difference between going about your business and actively hiding from those moments where you can insert who you are and what you know.

I'm a hider. It might sound kind of funny coming from someone who has been writing a blog in the internet for close to a decade, but it's true: I am actually pretty shy and private and being the center of attention--professional or personal--is kind of horrifying to me. I've reached the point in my life where I don't feel I have a lot to prove because I know what I know, but in many ways that's just not possible for me. I don't work in a field where I can just close my office door and have it all be fine, and the lwa have made clear time after time that I cannot just ride off into Ginen with them and live a private life.

This has something that is always a struggle for me because I am introverted and like my alone space and time. It comes back to the good ol' lessons the lwa want me to learn over and over: balance and vulnerability. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes I react like a cat thrown into a bathtub full of water. The lwa win some, I lose some.

I had to get my ass in gear with the notions of balance and putting myself out there and being vulnerable in knowing my worth and demanding (politely) that it be recognized when I found myself completely dissatisfied with my job(s). I was working two jobs (houngans and manbos know about that hustle...) and making good money, but I was ready to work one job and free up time for spiritual work and projects.

I took a chance and applied for a job that was juuuuust within my experience. It was definitely bigger than what I was doing and while it was within my experience level, I honestly wasn't perfectly qualified....but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, so I buffed up the resume, sent it off, and sat with my lwa about it. I told them that if this was where I was supposed to go next, I knew they would clear the way.

I didn't get it.

I made it through two rounds of interviews, but ultimately there was an incumbent with 10 more years of experience than I have, and that's almost always a losing equation. I was okay with it because I still had work and at the end of the day, I don't have to love my job to cash the paychecks.

BUT....the lwa had another plan. The team of interviewers liked me, and so I got headhunted for a position that was very, very in line with my professional experience and goals. I spoke with them several times about it and they made me an offer....and it was so low I almost rejected the offer outright.

I was both angry and scared at the same time; angry because the salary offer was ridiculously offensive based on my career history and scared because I have never been in a position to turn down a job offer or, honestly, negotiate.

This time was the first time in my life that I was planning to leave a job because I wanted to. I grew up in a upper working class home and as an adult have spent too much time jobless and underemployed to discount steady work and a regular paycheck. It was scary as hell to be staring down the possibility of kicking the steady paycheck to the side in favor of taking a step into the unknown.

When I got the offer letter, I sat down with the lwa and literally cried because I was so burned out with my other job that it was affecting my performance, but here I was getting a bullshit offer for a hugely involved job. It felt like a loss if I took it and affirmed that both my experience and what they were asking of me was only worth what they were offering. It felt like a loss if I didn't take it, because those opportunities do not come alone like that very often.

It was such a moment of unique despair. Like, I was not hurt or anything tragic but that feeling like I was painted into a corner and that the choices in front of me would leave me at a loss was HUGE and real. For me, when I feel like that it's hard for me to turn on the part if my brain that's analytical. I just need to sit in my misery for a minute (or more) until I get it together enough to figure out what to do.

That is where the blessing of Kouzen (and really all the lwa) came in. He told me to go back to the table, creat another option, and ask for my worth. Like, not swing my proverbial dick and be an asshole, but go be vulnerable and say that the offer was disappointing and that I expected more. So weird because it makes so much sense, right? And yet there I was totally sold that I was either going to be worked like a mule for less money than I was making already, or I was going to remain in The Bad Place until something else came along.

So I did. Even if I felt pessimistic about it (I did) and thought they would say no (convinced of it), I did what I was told because at the end of the day I agreed to sèvis lwa because I believe in the vision the lwa have for me. Some days I say that through gritted teeth, but that's my guiding principle and they have never let me down.

I sent in my counteroffer and waited for the 'we're sorry, but..' email. It was fucking scary. My agency is a behemoth in my field and has been around forever, so pushing back felt a little bit like David versus Goliath, and I didn't have the benefit of a sling and a rock.

It took two days but they got their offer almost to what I asked for, so I took it and it was a huge relief. I am sure that somewhere in the background Kouzen maybe did a quiet fist pump of 'Alex learned a thing' before going back to his work.

In all seriousness, that's a lesson I have struggled so hard with and it was a moment where I had to put it all into practice and rely on what the lwa have taught me as being an ultimate truth. Knowing my worth is not enough; I have to be able to communicate that in a way that both opens doors and doesn't get me used as a doormat. Not doing that seems like it would be almost offensive to Kouzen because, at least in this case, it would be essentially leaving money on the table and wasting it. My Kouzen is very rational about money, but the idea of not trying to set up my financial future makes his eyes bug out and would probably result in Having To Have A Conversation, which I avoid at all costs. Nothing like the lwa reminding you not to fuck up your own blessings.

Getting settled into this particular blessing has been what has been occupying my time the most these days. I came back from Haiti and went right into this job. I have finally clawed my way into administration and, in a very Kouzen twist, am responsible for managing several million dollars worth of grants and spending them both quickly and wisely. I work closely with the person in the position I originally interviewed for and am really happy I didn't get that job, as I am able much better fit where I am.

What else? In late January, I turned in a final draft of a chapter I was tapped to write for a book detailing the experiences of people who are converts to African Traditional and Diasporic religions. I'm excited to see the book when it comes out; I was the only writer on Haitian Vodou, and so it is chock full of other experiences from people from all different places who converted at some point in their life to a huge variety of African and African Descended religions and cultural practices. It's a project that has been in the works for several years, and it was interesting to see personal growth during my involvement in it and while tracking and detailing my journey from a fairly conservative Protestant upbringing to where I am now as a sèvitè lwa.

My living situation has changed up in the middle of this and I am once again at a point in my life where I have a dedicated space for my lwa. Living in one of the most expensive cities in the US has meant roommates and keeping my lwa in a closet in my room (my most recent roommate lovingly referred to them as the Closet People), but the lwa managed to swing it so I have a room dedicated to my spirits.

I have longing for that for so long...it's been years since that was a reality, and now it's finally a thing again. I always have the room for my lwa as my studio space too, since they are a creative force behind a lot of it, and it make my heart so full again to have room to spread out. It's such a gift for me. No more sitting down to pray and having my roommate start to have sex with their partner on the other side of the wall....I cannot tell you how many times that has happened.

Recently I listened to my mother tell some folks how to make tchaka/Kouzen's favorite meal. The regleman/ritual food is one of the most important parts of both ceremony and personal relationships with the lwa, and Kouzen reminded me that it had been quite awhile since I made him tchaka and boy his stomach would feel so much better with some tchaka in it and I already had a lot of the ingredients and wouldn't it be delicious to make some doumbrey for the tchaka too?

...so I went shopping for what I would need for tchaka for my beloved Kouzen because I have clearly neglected his stomach for too long. Living in a city with a huge Haitian population is great because the Haitian grocery store I went to had joumou/Haitian pumpkin, lalo sèk/dried jute leaves, tritri/tiny dried shrimp, djondjon/Haitian black mushrooms, fresh kowosol/soursop(!!!!!), and fresh lam veritab/breadfruit(!!!!!!!!!!).

It is so rare to find fresh kowosol and lam up here in New England because it def doesn't grow here and it doesn't last well when it's shipped....but it looked great today. The kowosol is going to be for me...ji kowosol ak lèt is a favorite, ESPECIALLY with a little Barbancourt poured in...and Kouzen will either get some tomtom or at least boiled lam veritab with his tchaka. Also have the makings of some bonbon siwo, so this husband is gonna eat GOOD. He deserves it.

And then...? Our live-on-Zoom socially distanced fet Kouzen will be sometime late in May. Making our fets available for folks to 'attend' at a distance has been surprisingly cool. I was not thrilled about the idea because of my personal hangups (I hate being on camera) but it's been really wonderful and has been a way for people who can't get to the temple to be able to share energy and get a taste of what a real Haitian fet is like. COVID isn't going away anytime soon, so we'll probably keep doing our fetes this way for awhile.

And...Haitian Summer is coming. I could write another whole post on what's going on down in Haiti, but I am very much looking forward to our kanzo and fet cycle this summer. My very favorite ceremonies are part of kanzo, and I love the opportunity to see the lwa in their home in the temple. I've been so lucky to be able to travel safely to Haiti several times during this mess, and it has fed my soul. It's safer for me and many of my family members now that we are vaccinated, so one less thing to worry about.

With Kouzen's month and the season of spring, I hope for growth in new directions for each of you, complete with all the blessings that Kouzen can bring: fertility and fecundity, inspiration, energy, commitment, rootedness, solid partnerships, and wise investments in self, community, relationships, and business ventures. May the fresh breeze bring you health with every breath and wealth with every exhale.

#vodou #haitian vodou #kouzen #kouzen zaka #azaka mede #fet kouzen #manje lwa #real vodou #voodoo

[no6secretsanta]

Gala Grind

WOO SECRET SANTA! 

@allxkka this is for you! YOU ASKED FOR AN AU, high school, college, or theater and well, THIS HAPPENED. All three of those things get mentioned in this fic? So… : ) Hope you enjoy.

(should be up on my archive by now, if it isn’t, it will be shortly)

---

Hours earlier, Nezumi had watched as the average hotel lobby transformed into an expensive-looking Gala hall, courtesy of staff members with dead eyes. At the time, he’d found it impressive, the way the white cloth tables, goody-bags, and endless floral arrangements were able to grant the blank room a weighted sort of potential energy.  

Now, though, he was confident that he had only watched the room go from one form of emptiness to another. Goody-bags were swept under chairs in an unending flood of expensive champagne and cheap conversation. Nezumi could feel the flowers wilting.  

“What’s the name of this company anyway?” he asked the man sitting across from him. The placard at his seat read: “Yoming”.

“Civitas Rosis. You don’t know of us?” Yoming replied. As he spoke a shiny gold watch on his wrist caught the light.

Nezumi’s finger traced the rim of his champagne glass - of course it was empty, now when he needed it most. “I’m a plus-one,” he said. “Guest of a guest. That is quite a name." 

"It’s Latin. The title is from one of our parent companies we outgrew,” Yoming said, with the air of a proud conqueror. “The taking of their title was a sort of symbolic representation of our independence. We’re the kind of place that never forgets the little steps that helped us get where we are.”

“Oh, I see. A real rags-to-riches Cinderella story.”

“We consider it more David and Goliath,” Yoming said, dark eyes glinting. Nezumi envisioned a future where he strangled him with his necktie, unbuckled the watch from his wrist, and pawned it off for a lifetime supply of macaroons. It was a bright future.

“Of course,” Nezumi drawled. “Although…in this David and Goliath story David would have to put on Goliath’s skin after he took him down. A little too graphic to market, don’t you think?”

The businessman fluffed up like an offended bird. “What did you say your name was?”

“My name? Rikiga,” Nezumi simpered, and then flashed his teeth. “Most sincere apologies. Are you always so defensive or did you steal that from your dead parent company too?”

The silence between them stretched for a full minute - not that anyone could tell over the boot-licking and networking chatter that filled the rest of the dining area. 

“Who are you guest of?” Yoming asked, slowly.

The caterer, Nezumi thought, but he wasn’t about to get Shion into trouble with his millionaire undercover boss. He pointed blindly at the name plaque next to him. Yoming’s face scrunched.

“Tori, I should have known.”

Nezumi had no idea who this Tori was, but he felt a fleeting sort of guilt for the resigned way Yoming said his name, and the speed at which he stood.

“Good day, Mr. Rikiga,” Yoming said in a tone of voice that made it abundantly clear nothing good was about to happen.

“A pleasure meeting you!" 

Yoming was dialing a number on his cellphone with frightening speed as he ducked out of the room. Poor Tori.

Oh well. It was time to leave that table anyway. First though…

The goody-bags were mostly filled with useless nonsense: Business cards and Civitas Rosis plastic shot glasses and salt-shakers, but there was a gem at the bottom. Nezumi dumped the junk into Tori’s abandoned bag, but rescued the carefully-wrapped bag of cookies and a card to Karan’s bakery - painfully sincere amongst all the company-labelled knick-knacks and trappings. 

Like a certain someone.

Nezumi exhaled. He probably shouldn’t have picked a fight. He hoped this minor tiff wouldn’t reflect negatively on Karan and Shion’s impeccable skills and service. He popped one of the cookies in his mouth, chewed.

"Nezumi!”

Shion. He was clumsily weaving through the tables - balm to Nezumi’s exhausted soul, relentlessly appealing in his all-black formal catering uniform.

“You look nice,” Nezumi swallowed appreciatively, before popping another cookie in his mouth, looking him up and down.

Flattery and exhaustion warred on Shion’s face. He pulled out the seat next to Nezumi, but then pushed it back in, evidently, deciding standing would be better.

“Something to say, Shion?”

“I have a favor to ask,” Shion said.

He held Nezumi’s hand in both of his. Nezumi stopped chewing.

 —

“Please Nezumi, their singer is sick!” Shion grumbled, following Nezumi into the bathroom so they could keep the conversation private. “They need someone to sing a few songs and say just a few nice things about the company and I know you’ve done galas before—hey. Don’t look like that. You have the training for this!” 

“I dropped out, Shion,” Nezumi replied, colder than he meant to be.

Training was a bit of a trigger word if he was being completely honest. As a proud college dropout, he had recently come to terms with the fact that the best thing his stint in academia had given him was ecologist-turned-caterer Shion.

Shion was not deterred. He shook his head, quickly slipping an OUT OF ORDER sign onto the door to the men’s bathroom.

“Listen to me—"

“—Why are you carrying that?” Nezumi asked, temporarily distracted.

“Sometimes caterers need some time alone,” Shion clarified without hesitation. “I’m not giving up on this. You’re the only one who can do this Nezumi, and your voice is beautiful. You have soul. That’s all an audience needs. A diploma doesn’t matter— You taught me that.”

Ugh, Nezumi had. Theoretically. Shion had been miserable in grad school, signing up for all the most difficult labs to challenge his own brilliant mind. It had been a mistake. A brilliant mind wasn’t what his professors wanted— cutting corners was, and Shion wasn’t going to do that.

Shion had dropped first. A month later, Nezumi made the same call, but for very different reasons.

Pursuing a degree in theater, in all honesty, had been a mistake.

His heart had wanted it, though. Nezumi’s stupid heart, still beating, ever-longing, ready to make important life decisions with the loudest possible voice no matter how deeply he buried it in his chest. His heart had won him over during the lonely years after high school— singing in bars for tips. It had convinced him that with education maybe that could be a job—his full-time job. A job where he wouldn’t have to scrape by and beg.

So, he had saved. He had saved and he paid for some classes. An education. Rags-to-riches, right?

As it turned out, Nezumi paid a lot for academia to teach his heart what his head knew already: love was disappointing. Love didn’t fill your stomach, or your pockets. Love left you with debt—left you with dreams. Singing wasn’t a career—it was a survival mechanism.

So yeah, he didn’t much like to be reminded of his training. He didn’t particularly like to be reminded of his soul, either.

“Shion—” he started, but Shion kissed him before he could finish, pressing him gently into the wall of the nice hotel bathroom. His heart took over— no more thoughts— as he wrapped his arms around Shion’s shoulders and felt the fabric of his stupid hot catering uniform. Warm. Shion was so fucking warm, all the time.

He had just about forgotten what they were talking about when Shion broke away, eyes impossibly bright.

“I know you,” he whispered, voice low and urgent enough to send a tiny, tiny tremor down Nezumi’s spine. “I know you, Nezumi, and you love to perform. Why are you resisting? What’s holding you back? Let me help.”

His hand was on Nezumi’s cheek, and Nezumi felt his resolve crumble.

Dammit. Damn him. Damn this. Damn the excitement in Nezumi’s veins, the stupid thrilling call of the stage. Damn this man, this infuriating, wonderful man that knew Nezumi’s stupid, stupid, stupid, theatrical heart.

“I’ll sing, Shion,” he said, finally, meeting the torrent that was Shion’s eyes. “I just can’t promise any miracles. Don’t get your hopes up.”

“I’m not asking for miracles, Nezumi,” Shion replied, grinning victoriously. His lips were red; his cheeks appealingly flushed. “Just you. Just your voice. That’s always been enough, you know.”

Nezumi’s heart may have lost when it came to his college education, but with Shion…Well. Maybe the debt was worth it.

—-

Nezumi stood in front of the crowd, microphone in hand. His set list and suggested script sat on a music stand in a black binder. No one would have to know there was actually no paper in the binder, but rather that everything had been hastily scrawled on a napkin by the company treasurer.

Nezumi tapped the microphone once. Feedback echoed through the gala hall, but hey, it caught everyone’s attention so mission accomplished.

“Having fun tonight?” he offered to the stuffy suits and ties. He was rewarded with polite applause.

God, Nezumi thought. Sounds like a fucking golf game. He almost missed the constant cat-calls of his bar. Almost.

His heart was beating though, thudding in a way that clearly never got the message this was stupid and pointless. His eyes scanned the crowd and found Karan and Shion at their modest table in the back. He smiled, for them, slipping into the role of gala MC.

Shion really did look great in that uniform.

“Let’s give another round of applause for our lovely host Civitas Rosis — long may they reign!”

The sarcasm didn’t slip through to his voice but judging by the rewarding scowl on Yoming’s face and the expanding smile on Shion’s— it was understood by the parties that needed to hear it.

Shion, to Nezumi’s surprise and delight, couldn’t stand Yoming either. He had apparently been flirting at Karan for almost the entire party, and Shion, for all his gullibility, had a bullshit detector that could rival Nezumi’s. When he had heard about Nezumi’s earlier argument, seconds before Nezumi was shoved to the stage, his face had changed. There was a rare, vengeful glint in his eyes as he whispered: Honestly, I’m glad you did— now maybe I’ll be able to resist arguing with him, myself. Maybe.

Fuck, Nezumi loved him.

It was a stray thought, but a true one, and one Nezumi didn’t have time to over-consider as he picked up the mic and began to sing, voice echoing through the lobby.

Yoming, pleasingly, had a deep scowl on his face, but Karan was mouthing the words next to him. Yeah that wouldn’t last.

Nezumi’s life hadn’t really gone according to plan.

He was a college drop-out singing in a hotel lobby that meant nothing to him, and for a company he couldn’t stand.

But still, he smiled as he sang. It wasn’t to survive— wasn’t for an ill-advised money-making dream, but for the caterer watching with enamored eyes in the back of the room.

It was fun. His heart pulsed in his chest, poor, but satisfied.

It was his best performance yet.

#secretagentfan #allxkka #no6 #no 6 #no.6 #no. 6 #no6secretsanta #gala grind #nezumi #submission

[shortythescreen]

different

spared - different - 

thankfully, nea says nothing about your encounter with the huntress. 

she stuck close to you after she witnessed the way the killer let you escape, and together, you two fixed a majority of the generators. meg was hooked and sacrificed before you guys could save her. jake was also hooked but the two of you managed to get him down and healed before the entity could take him. in the end, you, jake, and nea escaped -- mostly in one piece. 

like meg promised you, she’s fine. sitting around the campfire with everyone else, rubbing shoulders with someone you’ve come to learn is named dwight. 

“nice escape, for a first timer. the huntress usually wins those,” says meg, and you give her a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes, thinking about the woman. the killer. the huntress, apparently. you wonder if she has a name. 

nea didn’t tell jake in the arena that the huntress had spared you and she says nothing now, having taken a seat away from the others. her eyes are on the fire and you wonder what she’s thinking about. if she’s thinking about you, about what she saw. if she has any idea why the huntress didn’t kill you. 

you shuffle over to her. with great, lumbering difficulty, you plop onto the log next to her, cradling your lower back. once you’re in your seat, you huff, placing your opposite hand over your belly. nea glances up at you, before her gaze turns back to the fire. 

“hey,” you say. 

“hi,” she says. 

silence follows and you shift, uncertain of how you want to start this conversation. if there’s even a conversation to have. 

“thanks for, um.” you stop. “keeping what you saw to yourself.” 

“i don’t gossip,” says nea. you nod along, turning your eyes to the fire. “...do you know her?” 

“hm?” 

“the huntress. do you know her?” 

“no.” 

at that, nea heavily sighs, wiping at her dirty face. it only makes the smudges on them worse and she pulls off her beanie, trying to clean herself that way. 

“that’s not what i wanted to hear,” she grumbles. 

“why not?” you ask. 

“because... because then the only explanation for why she didn’t fuckin’ kill you is...” nea finally looks away from the fire but instead of meeting your eyes, she looks at your round, pregnant tummy. something like frustration blazes in the glow of her gaze and you wrap an arm around your belly. “none of these killers have had a heart before, y’know? not for any of us. and for her to just... stop...”

you get it. you do. kind of, at least. you haven’t experienced death yet and if what meg’s said is true -- and you know it is, you saw her hanging from a hook, taken by the shadows -- then they’ve all experienced death over, and over, and over again. and you? you just happened to be pregnant. just happened to have another life growing inside you that made that particular killer... soft. 

“i don’t understand it either,” you tell her, stroking your belly. “she kept asking me if it was a girl.” 

“is it?” 

“yeah.” 

“right, right, cool. okay. huntress has a soft spot for baby girls. cool, cool, cool,” nea huffs out, pressing her brow bone to her wrists. something like guilt pangs in your chest even though this isn’t your fault. that you couldn’t help what the huntress did or didn’t do. “you know if you... if you want, you could try to talk to her.” 

“talk to her?” you sputter and nea grabs your arm, squaring you with a look that tells you to shut the fuck up. to keep this conversation between you two. you know she’s right. “what, about... about what happened?” 

“no, about her day,” snorts nea, “yes, of course about what happened. the killers are always... they’re always around here, somewhere. watching. waiting. you could probably just... walk to the forest line, ask.” 

“and what if i don’t see the huntress?” you demand. “what if it’s someone who will hurt me?” 

“i’ll go with you, if you want,” offers nea, “i just... i dunno. nothing ever changes around here. and that was... different. you’re different. i just think it’s worth a shot.” 

worth a shot. different. your heart aches. how long have these people waited for different? how many times had they been stabbed, cut, gutted? hooked? how many days have they wondered if one day, when it happened again, it would be the real end. 

“okay,” you agree, even though you don’t think it’s a good idea. even though a knot forms in your chest, uncertain. “but um... i don’t think she speaks english.” 

“i speak russian,” says nea, automatically, surprising you. at your stunned look she shrugs, scratching at her cheek. “i’m from sweden, originally. the ‘rents wanted to make sure i could travel throughout the world.” 

“so they made your second language russian?” 

“no. they made my third language russian.”

you can’t help but snort at that, quietly amused. nea’s lips twitch up, a smirk decorating her face. 

“how do you know she speaks russian?” 

“i’unno. she sounds russian. maybe i’m wrong and she’ll cut our heads off. now c’mon, let’s get this over with.” 

nea stands and helps you to your feet. for all she’s so tiny, she’s pretty strong, only grunting a little as you lean into her. she smells like shit -- but all of you do. god, you could use a shower. 

“hey, newbie and i are gonna go foraging!” nea calls. a chrous of acknowledgements meets her. she turns to you, eyes serious, and you two walk away from the safety of the campfire, to the edge of the forest. the trees are dense, looming over you, forever shrouded in darkness that makes them look all the more intimidating. you don’t see anyone as you approach -- not even when you’re at the forest line. 

“um...” you begin, unsure of how you want to start. you glance over to nea, who’s stuffed her hands into her pockets. she looks at the floor, but watches you from the corner of her eyes. 

“um, huntress?” you try. it feels impersonal to call someone a word, a title, but... that’s the only name you know her by. you worry your fingers together, starting when you hear someone speak. it takes you a few chilling, heart stopping seconds to realize it was nea who talked -- translated. 

“i-...” you swallow. “i’m sorry if i’m bothering you, or... yeah. i just... i just wanted to ask what happened in the fog. why... why did you let me go?” 

nea translates again but still, nothing. not even the wind bothers to ruffle through the trees -- like the world is holding its breath with you. you swallow, shifting from foot to foot. 

“uh... i just-i just-” you stutter, trying to think. “...thank you, for not hurting me. i-i know that not all of you will show that kind of remorse and... and i just really appreciate being s-spared.” 

nea’s words are sluggish, like she’s mumbling now. when you look her way, she’s also taken to scanning the forest. she hides her emotions well, doesn’t let you see it right away -- but the slump of her shoulders is undeniable, her slouch going from relaxed to disappointed. so much for different. 

“back to camp?” offers nea. you nod, feeling... a little rejected. just as you turn away, though, the snap of a twig sounds in your ear. then the crunch of a leaf. slowly, you turn back, and from the darkness emerges the woman who freed you. 

the huntress is... still humongous. you feel like david facing down goliath but you don’t have a slingshot and you’re not sure there’s any god here to back you up. you swallow thickly. 

she says something and it takes you a minute to realize that she spoke in russian. she tilts her head to the left, the lifeless eyes of her rabbit mask piercing through nea, who seemed equally as shocked as you. nea rapidly shakes her head, loudly clearing her throat. 

“she, uh. she asked when the baby will be here.” explains nea. you nod slowly, little bobs of your head that are half stunned, unable to take your eyes off of the huntress. she’s so large. no one should be this large, should take up so much space in the woods. 

“i’m... i’m thirty weeks pregnant,” you say, “if all goes well -- no more than... no more than a month and a half. maybe two.” 

nea opens her mouth but the huntress raises her hand -- god, how is she so fucking big? -- stopping her. she tilts her head down at you, acknowledging without words what you said, letting you know she understood -- no matter how limited her english. 

“you need bed,” she says in that now easily identifiable russian accent. you open your mouth, then shut it, and when you look at nea, she’s holding her hands up, like she’s not quite sure how to respond to that either. “trial... not good for baby.” 

“i... of course it’s not,” you say, “b-but i’m- stuck-”

“no,” says the huntress, then proceeds to snatch your bicep and begin tugging you into the forest. goosebumps break out all over your skin and you dig your heels into the dirt, instantly frightened all over again. 

“Эй!” nea snaps and she grabs the arm the huntress doesn’t have. the killer snarls, evidently displeased. her hand hovers over her hatchet though she doesn’t grab for it, glaring over your head at the much smaller woman. your head whips to nea, whose face is twisted up in rage. the two argue over your head, russian cracking like a whip over your head, the sounds making you dizzy. 

you think they could argue all night, their voices rising, but you feel a familiar wave of nausea over taking you. gripped between the two of them, you bend, and vomit all over your shoes. not much comes out, food a rarity, consisting mostly of the edible plants that claudette finds. they both stop, looking at you, watching the tears bubble up in your eyes with the force of it all.

you gasp, blinking your bleary eyes and they speak again. this time, their voices are soft, mellow.  

“...we’re gonna go with her,” says nea, and your head snaps to the side, looking at her as snot drips from your nose. “you’re... i don’t know, you’re not in a state to be fuckin’ dealin’ with this shit and she doesn’t speak english too good and... she says she can keep us safe. so we’re gonna go.” 

“what about-” you gulp loudly, shuddering at the roughness of your throat. “What about the others?” 

“i’ll talk to ‘em,” nea says, loosening her grip on your arm. 

“you’re not coming?” 

“she’s gonna come back for me,” says nea and her soft, pale eyes harden, become icy as she snaps her gaze up to the killer behind you. she says something sharp, a number of syllables that sound like she’s stabbing the larger woman. it sounds a lot like a ‘right?’ to you. 

“da. will return for tiny woman,” says the huntress and you look up at her. you can’t see her face, her eyes with that stupid mask in the way and god it’s so unnerving to think of being alone with her. 

“she’s got a bed you can sleep in and can probably get us some real food,” says nea. you nod slowly. the thought of sleeping on something that isn’t the ground is enough reward for you to deal with the chill of the huntress’s gaze. “she’s gonna come back for me, okay? i promise i won’t leave you alone.” 

you don’t know where this conviction has come from, know that only a few short days ago nea was mystified at why this was happening. maybe it’s because she misses food too, a bed. but when you look into her eyes, you see the sincerity int hem, the promise she won’t leave you alone. straightening up, you slowly, carefully, slide your hand into the huntress’s, meeting her gaze with something like determination. 

“okay. okay. let’s go.” 

#me? writing multi chapter things? #ohhhh boy #here we go again #nea karlsson #the huntress #dbd #dead by daylight #the huntress/reader #the huntress x reader #nea karlson/reader #nea karlson x reader #the huntress/reader/nea karlsson #the huntress x reader x nea karlsson #yeah boi i'm doing THAT #tw pregnancy #tw vomit #tw violence mention #tw murder mention #tw death mention

[saywhatjessie]

cute dog related title

3.5k. For Elaine. Join us on Discord! [Ao3]

“What do we think about Joan?”

Henry blinked, looking up from his phone to look over at Alex. “What?”

“Joan!” Alex repeated, excitedly. “As a name!”

Henry’s face contorted. “As in Joan of Arc?”

Alex’s face fell, “No, like Joan Jett. I’m trying to keep with our vintage rockstar theme.”

Henry let out a surprised laugh, turning a bit in his seat so his knee bumped Alex’s. “I like it.”

“Yeah, but if the first thing you thought was a religious figure, that’s not my favorite thing.”

“Well, it’s not like Bowie is the first thing you think when you hear David. Could just as easily be the Bible story with Goliath.”

Alex grimaced. “I don’t know if I like that.”

Henry huffed a laugh again, putting a hand on Alex’s knee. “Well, it’s not as if we have to decide now. Let’s at least meet the dogs first, yeah?”

Alex’s mouth twitched and he groaned dramatically, covering Henry’s hand with his. “ Fiiiiiiiine .”

Henry smiled softly, bringing Alex’s hand up to his mouth, kissing his knuckles. Alex grinned, butting his knee against Henry’s, teasing him for being so corny. Henry winked.

“Anyway, I’m more concerned with breed,” Henry said coolly, lifting his phone back to his face. “It’s important to research these things beforehand.”

Alex snorted. “H, I think the last thing we’re going to find is a pedigree where we’re going.”

Henry made a protesting noise in his throat. “It’s not about pedigree, love. We need to get a dog that will get along with David. One that won’t have separation anxiety when we need to be away and one that isn’t terribly difficult with new people.” He turned his phone toward Alex. “I have a list.”

Alex glanced at it and snorted. “Did you really google ‘dog breeds good with beagles’?”

“As opposed to what?” Henry said, his eyebrows hiked. “I got results, did I not?”

Alex snorted again but ran a hand over Henry’s knee as if to say ‘Yes you did, darling, now continue’.

Henry did just that. “Beagles on the whole are rather friendly and there’s very few breeds they won’t get along with.  And there’s always dogs that universally get along with everyone, like golden retrievers and labradors.”

Alex scrunched his face. “Sure, but how basic is that?”

Henry leaned his head against the headrest and turned to look at Alex, mournfully. “You’d look adorable with a Golden retriever.”

“I resent you for implying I wouldn’t look adorable with any dog.” Alex said. “And if I fall in love with a Golden Retriever then it is what it is. But give me more interesting options.”

Henry sighed but dutifully returned to his phone. 

“Greyhounds?” Henry offered, skeptically.

Alex pumped a fist. “Fuck yes. Skeletal horse-looking fuckers. That’s what I’m talking about.”

Henry grimaced but tapped at his phone a bit before humming in interest. “Greyhounds are one of the breeds most in need of rescue, since they’re former racing dogs. But they’re also one of the hardest dogs to rehabilitate and don’t deal well with the cold or being alone.” He looked at Alex, meaningfully. “So a greyhound would definitely do well in New York while we’re away on politics business or some such.”

Alex grimaced. “Okay, fine . What else you got?”

Henry continued to take him through various dog breeds, pros and cons, relating them to David and what life would be like for the new dog back at the brownstone while Henry was abroad and while Alex was in class or potentially doing lawyer things.

It was just so surreal for Alex to think that he could do this. He could get a dog with his boyfriend. They were living stable and almost boring lives. His mother had no more campaigns to run and he was stressed out in school, which was right in his comfort zone. Henry had his youth shelters and his LGBT organizations. He and Henry were out to the world. It felt like they could really start being a family.

And what better way to start a family than with a dog?

“I do hope David doesn’t feel as if we’re replacing him,” Henry mused, briefly looking out the car window. “This is for him. So he isn’t lonely when we’re both out. Since we left Mr. Wobbles, he needs a mate. This is for him. Do you think he knows?”

Alex’s mouth twitched into another smile and rubbed Henry’s knee consolingly. “If he doesn’t know by now, we can always put the new pup in a box with a bow on it. David would have to be particularly stupid if he doesn’t get the hint then.”

Henry turned to him with a frown. “You’re making fun of me.”

“Just a little,” Alex admitted, bringing Henry’s knuckles to his mouth to kiss them. “David knows we love him. He’ll be fine.”

Henry was still frowning but he turned back to the window, getting more and more nervous the closer they got to the shelter.

Zahra had vetted this shelter within an inch of its life, triple checking references and doing follow up calls with adopted dog owners from more than ten years ago. It was extremely important to not only Alex and Henry but to his mother’s public image, that if Alex was going to be adopting a dog, it would be in the most unambiguously ethical way possible. No puppy farms. No PETA ties. Just good old fashioned dog rescue.

They’d set up a private appointment, obviously. They’d tweet about the shelter once they were safely away.

Cash navigated the car around the back of a squat looking building, putting it in park and turning around to look at them. “You both ready?”

Henry nodded, a steely look in his eye. Alex gripped his hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

They pushed out of their respective doors and Alex hurried around the car to Henry’s side, grabbing his hand again before they reached the back door. Henry shot him a grateful smile and knocked.

A woman opened the door with a startled-sounding “Oh!” despite her clearly having expected them. “Well, wow, hi! Come in!”

Alex smiled, as he and Henry stepped past her into an office. The woman was young-looking, her hair tied up in a messy ponytail and glasses on her face. She wore scrubs with little corgis on them.

“Were the corgis for this guy?” Alex asked, pointing to Henry and gesturing at her scrubs. “Because they’re really more the queen’s thing. Our boy is a beagle man.”

Henry rolled his eyes and smiled even as his ears turned red. “Not everything is about me, Alex.”

“Oh, I did wear them for you, though,” the woman said, her hands shyly tucked in her scrubs pockets. “They felt appropriate.”

“You look great,” Alex told her, winking. He gave Henry’s hand a last squeeze before releasing it to offer it to her. “I’m Alex.”

“I know,” she said, with a slight giggle, taking his hand. “I spoke to your handler on the phone. I’m Faith.”

Alex grinned, shaking her hand and turning to Henry. “I’m sure Zahra would love to know she’s my handler.”

“She has been your handler for well over a decade, love.” Henry told him fondly.

He turned to Faith, offering his own hand. “Henry.”

She took it, bending her knees a bit in an awkward curtsy.

“Oh, that’s really not necessary,” Henry told her, embarrassed.

Alex moved to do his own curtsy, waxing about how amazing and royal Henry is, but he figured that might embarrass Faith more than Henry, so he just grinned and smacked Henry on the ass. “Yeah, he’s really not that great.”

“Alex,” Henry groaned.

“Can we see the dogs?” Alex asked, bouncing a bit on his toes.

Faith looked between them, biting her knuckles, looking very much like she was seconds away from collapsing into giggles. Instead, she cleared her throat and stood up, acting extremely professional. “Of course, follow me.”

They made their way out into the main hallways of the shelter and Alex leaned close to Henry’s ear. “Janis?” He said in a low tone. “Like Joplin?”

“Also Chandler Bing’s annoying girlfriend,” Henry whispered back.

“Goddammit.”

Alex sighed, turning his smile all the way back up when Faith turned to them as they stopped in front of another door.

“I’ve pulled some dogs for you ahead of time. Ones I thought would be a good fit based on what your handler told me. No major abandonment issues, house trained, good with other dogs–”

“Beagle, specifically.” Henry interrupted.

“Yes, a beagle, specifically,” Faith corrected, smiling indulgently. “I’ve pulled three dogs for you to meet today and you can always come back if none of them feel right. But the first one is right behind this door! He’s a Golden Retriever, he’s two years old, and his name is Davey. You ready?”

Alex and Henry nodded and they all headed in.

Davey greeted them very enthusiastically, panting and twining around their legs, his head butting into Alex and Henry’s hands until they scratched his ears. He didn’t bark and he didn't jump up, obviously very well trained.

And he was beautiful. A very handsome and good boy.

“Sit on the ground,” Henry instructed, pulling out his phone. “If I don’t get a photo of you with this dog I will never forgive myself.”

Alex rolled his eyes but sunk to the ground, sitting cross legged in the center of the floor. Davey immediately came up to lick his face, curling his body around so he was sitting square in Alex’s lap. Alex laughed and pet his belly, setting Davey’s tail to thrash in ecstasy. Henry’s grin was too fond as he took approximately a million pictures.

“What do you think?” Alex asked, his hands ruffling Davey’s ears.

Henry glanced nervously at Faith who was sitting at a chair in the corner, supervising their visit. Faith immediately waved him off. “Please speak freely, you won’t hurt my feelings. And Davey won’t understand you, anyway.”

Henry nodded in an acknowledgement, giving a small smile of thanks, but still lowered his voice before answering. “He’s a very pretty dog.”

“ So handsome,” Alex agreed, ruffling Davey’s ears again and kissing his head. “But golden retrievers…”

“Yes, you’ve said,” Henry said, rolling his eyes. “‘Davey’ is also a little too close to ‘David’. Right?”

“We could always change his name,” Alex offered.

Henry’s nose scrunched, telling Alex exactly what he thought of that idea.

Alex scrunched his nose back, mockingly. “Well, he’s an excellent boy. Guaranteed if we don’t take him, he’ll be adopted by the end of the week.”

Henry nodded, his shoulders relaxing a bit at the thought of Davey’s eventual rescue.

Faith smiled, rising from her chair and pulling something from her scrubs pocket. “Next dog?”

Henry nodded, reaching out a hand to Alex, who had been abandoned by Davey almost immediately after Faith had reached into her pocket. Henry helped him to his feet and Faith made Davey sit as she put the peanut butter puzzle treat in front of him.

She let him have it and they left the room while he was distracted.

The next dog was a beautiful floppy eared girl, chestnut with white patches and black feet like she was wearing socks.

Her name was Dobby.

Henry loved her immediately, sitting on the ground and letting her lope up to him and sniff his head. She was a little more demure than Davey, a little more unsure, but she warmed up to them soon enough.

“What is she?” Henry asked, his face in her neck.

Alex translated. “What breed is she?”

“We think she’s an Irish Setter and an English Springer Spaniel mix.”

Alex snorted. “An Irish and an English? Wonder how that worked.”

But Henry’s head popped up from where he’s been focusing on Dobby’s ears and looked at Faith, eyebrow creased. “You think?”

“She was a stray.” Faith shrugged. “We sent her bloodwork in to try and know more but there was some that was inconclusive.”

Henry frowned more, his hands stilling on Dobby’s back before she gave a slight whine and he picked back up on petting her.

Alex kicked gently at his shoe. “Dobby and David. That sounds cute.”

“I don’t like not knowing,” Henry admitted, the inside of his cheek between his back teeth.

“Stop chewing your face,” Alex told him, kicking his shoe again.

Henry stopped, shooting a pout at Alex before repeating “I don’t like not knowing. What if she’s part Chow Chow or Terrier.” He frowned longingly at her bushy tail. “What if she doesn’t get along with David? Chow Chows are not good with beagles.”

“We’re reasonably confident she won’t be a problem with other dogs, otherwise I wouldn’t have brought her in here to meet you,” Faith told them, smiling in sympathy. “I mean, look how gentle she is!”

Henry hugged her around the neck. She was exceedingly gentle.

Alex could have told Henry that they could work with her. That any small percentage of a breed she had that might not like David was something they could overcome. That it would all turn out okay if they took her home.

But Alex didn’t know that. He didn’t know anything for certain and that little margin of error was too much for Henry. If things didn’t work out and he had to give the dog up after falling even more in love with her, it would break his heart.

Alex took a step forward and put his hand on Henry’s head, petting his hair back from his face. He turned to Faith. “I think we should meet the next one.”

Faith nodded, maybe a little disappointed, but reached into her apron again for another peanut butter toy. 

Dobby immediately abandoned Henry when the smell of peanut butter hit the air, so that probably helped the sting some. Alex helped Henry to his feet and pulled him into a brief hug, rubbing a hand over his back.

“Maybe we can come back for her someday,” Alex whispered into his ear, kissing his shoulder.

Henry sighed, sinking a bit into Alex’s embrace before standing up straight. “No,” he said firmly. “I want her to be adopted. She deserves to have a forever home, even if it’s not with us.”

Alex kissed his shoulder again, pulling back and kissing him on the mouth. “This magnanimous sacrificial hero thing you’ve got going?” Alex kissed him again. “Extremely sexy.”

Henry laughed under his breath, ducking his head to kiss Alex back, before turning them both to face Faith, who was already done distracting Dobby and had been politely waiting by the door, politely averting her eyes until after they’d finished their moment.

They made their way to the last room.

Faith opened the door to reveal a medium-sized pointy looking dog.

“ Yeeeees, ” Alex whispered, immediately moving in to sit on the ground.

The dog started jumping around, reacting to Alex’s excitement, her toes clacking on the tile. She ran up to Alex as soon as he was on her level and started licking his face.

“Is this a greyhound?” Henry said, laughing a bit as he watched Alex. Alex, for his part, was entirely focused on petting every inch of this dog.

“Hair’s too long to be a greyhound,” he answered, scratching her butt as she went crazy.

“She’s an Italian Greyhound/Whippet mix,” Faith laughed, watching Alex pick her up over his head like Simba. “We call them Whippigs.”

“ Whippig!” Alex said, delightedly, swinging the dog back and forth above him. Her tongue lolled out in a big doggy smile.

Alex pulled her in close to his chest. She fit in very nicely there: she didn’t squirm too much and she seemed pretty content to be held.

He looked up to Henry, eyes pleading.

Henry smiled fondly down at him before turning to Faith. “We talked about Greyhounds, but we worried it would be too cold in New York. Or that the dog wouldn’t handle us being away very well.”

“Greyhounds usually do have abandonment issues but Whippets are usually better about it, being watchdogs. And any dog you get won’t handle being alone too badly since you have another dog.”

Henry nodded and Alex grinned. “That’s why we’re doing this! So David won’t have to be alone, right?”

Henry sighed, rolling his eyes but quickly returning his attention to Faith. “And the colder weather?”

“Well, they’re not meant to be kept outside, but that’s not really a problem for you.” She paused before turning a smirk to Alex, whispering loudly to Henry behind her hand. “They also wear sweaters very well.”

Alex gasped loudly, getting the pup very excited. “HENRY WE CAN DRESS HER UP IN LITTLE SWEATERS!”

Faith laughed and Henry sighed again, feigning annoyance but with a twinkle in his eye.

Alex put the puppy down and let her run around as Henry talked through more details with Faith.

“She’s three years old. Been here for almost a year after her previous owners moved to an apartment that didn’t allow dogs. Oh, and her name is Evie!”

Alex’s head snapped to them, looking at Henry. “We could call her Stevie. Like Stevie Nicks!”

Henry’s jaw dropped for a second and then he threw his head back and laughed.

From that, their fates were sealed.

  Bringing her home was carefully orchestrated and anxiously accomplished.

Henry had googled it, obviously.

Faith had given them tips but Henry needed a checklist in front of him to calm his nerves. Alex could understand that.

They parked in front of the brownstone (Alex had no idea how Cash always kept this spot open for them) and Alex took Stevie carefully out of the car, setting her on the sidewalk pavement, a Hufflepuff leash clipped to her new collar. They’d decided she was a Hufflepuff.

Alex let her sniff around, familiarizing herself with the environment, while Henry ran inside. She watched him go, whining a little bit, but Alex crouched down to pat her head and she was fine again.

She was getting very invested in the tree planted on the curb when Henry emerged again with David, who came bounding down the steps, panting happily toward Alex.

Step one: introduce dogs while on leashes.

Stevie pulled back, startled, darting behind Alex’s legs and straining at her leash. Alex crouched down, reaching behind himself with one hand to pat her distressed little head, even while using his other hand to greet an excited David. “Hey there, buddy! What’s up, you doing okay?”

David’s tail went nuts as Alex scratched behind his ears. He fell onto his back and showed Alex his belly.

This show of submission brought Stevie sniffing around, tangling Alex in her leash in the process.

When David saw the newcomer he rolled back to his feet and strained on his own leash to try and get a sniff of her.

“Whoa there, mate,” Henry said, pulling on David’s leash. “Gently, now.”

Alex untangled himself from Stevie’s leash and pulled her tight to his chest. The list Henry had said to let her come around on her own but she was shaking! Alex had to hold her.

“David,” he started, looking at the beagle then back to his new baby. “This is Stevie. She’s your sister now. And she’s smaller than you, so be nice.”

He kissed her on the head and then put her down between his crouched knees so she could still feel safe.

She backed into him a little but sniffed back when David got close to her. She took a couple steps away from Alex, getting better access to David’s butt.

“There’s a special gland there, you know,” Alex told Henry as they watched the dogs meet.

“Yes, Alex, I do.” Henry answered. Alex glanced up to see the nervous crease in his forehead.

“Hey,” Alex said, coming to standing. He stepped over the dogs to get closer to Henry, reaching up and rubbing at the crease with his thumb. “It’s going fine.”

Henry took a long breath out. “I know.”

But he was still extremely tense. He was tense when they both dropped their leashes and let the dogs walk around each other freely (step 2). He was tense when they brought the dogs into the house, showing Stevie to her crate and her new food bowls and the other things the PPOs had brought into the house while they’d been doing the emotional labor of introducing the animals (step 3). He was tense right up until the four of them were cuddled together on the couch at the end of the day, watching Bake Off.

Alex and Henry were half on top of each other, their shoulders leaning together in the middle of the couch while David was curled at Henry’s feet and Stevie was hunkered into Alex’s side.

“She was supposed to be David’s mate,” Henry joked, the first joke he’d made since they brought Stevie home.

Alex grinned at him. “I’m cuter than David. I have been trying to get you to admit this for years.”

Henry rumbled a laugh, stretching a bit so he could kiss Alex on the mouth. “You keep thinking that, sweetheart.”

#red white & royal blue #RED WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE #rwrb #firstprince #oops I wrote a thing #discord exchange

[imaginesforyourfandom]

Loving Her: Alex Morgan - Chapter 15

(Y/N) POV:

I was walking with Pinoe as we were both called to do media for the final. I found it convenient considering that her, Alex, and I had been in the news the most due to our own controversies. We had training earlier and now it was time for media. After this, I was going to be able to go back and be with Alex. It had been a day since we got married. No one knew that we had done that other than Becky and Christen. So far, they had not said anything to anyone.

“What are you going to say if they ask you about the video?” Pinoe asked as I shrugged.

“I don’t know. What do you say when your homophobic dad says you’re a disgrace to your family?” I asked looking to her as she sighed.

“No comment?” she said as I laughed slightly

We were ushered into a room and sat at a table as everyone quieted down. I had a little anxiety as I waited for the first question.  Pinoe took the first couple questions as I just nodded my head to whatever she said.

“Question for (Y/N)…” I leaned forward slightly as I listened to the question. “Obviously, recent controversy for you….is this something that is on your mind for the game?”

“No, not at all…I mean is it something that’s been on my mind? For sure…but when I step out onto the pitch the only thing on my mind is winning…so, I don’t think my team has anything to worry about.”

“I trust you.” Pinoe said as I grinned at the girl next to me. We moved onto the next question as we continued going back and forth answering everything.

“The Netherlands national team has repeatedly stated that they feel like they are the underdogs going into this game…that you guys are the Goliath to their David….what do you think?” I chuckled slightly at the analogy of David and Goliath as Pinoe looked to me.

“I feel like you can’t really consider the current European Champions the underdogs in any situation.” I said as Pinoe smiled and nodded her head slightly. We had already heard about these comments and talked about how kind of ridiculous they were. “I mean…they had the easier route to the final and they knocked out Sweden, which is great, but I don’t see them as underdogs. I see them as a phenomenal team with some great talented players. A team that is no doubt going to give us some trouble. I can’t wait to play against them.”

They seemed to accept the answers as the rest of the press conference continued on. Once we were done, Pinoe and I left and got to make our way back to the hotel. We were walking pass the pool when I heard my name. I looked up and frowned when I saw the one and only Servando Carrasco approaching Pinoe and I.

“I need to talk to you.” He said as I raised an eyebrow at him.

“No, you don’t.” I said putting my phone in my pocket as Pinoe looked between us. She had a nervous expression for which I couldn’t blame her. I also don’t want to be standing in front of this dumbass.

“Yes, we do. It’s about Alex.” He said as I stared at him for a moment. I figured he probably was just going to tell me everything that happened form their conversation.

“What are you going to tell me?” I asked as he frowned at me. “Are you going to tell me that you asked her to give you another chance? That you blamed HER for YOUR cheating? Or maybe you want to tell me that you kissed her when she tried to walk away from you?”

“That’s not how it happened. She’s lying to you.” He said as I rolled my eyes.

“I doubt that. I trust her completely. Listen, I’m only going to tell you this once. Stay away from her.” I said as he shook his head.

“I can’t do that.” He said as I felt my blood start to boil. I could tell by the look on Pinoe’s face that she could see that this was already getting out of hand. “I love her. I made a mistake. She and I are meant to be. I won’t give up until I get her back.”

“You really are the biggest dumbass I have ever met.” I said as he started glaring at me. “She’s happy without you. In what version of this does she leave me for you?”

“Do you really think she loves you?” he asked as I clenched my jaw. “You’ve known her what…2 years? That’s just the time we were married…we were together for ten years. You don’t just let go of that overnight.”

“If you really loved her, why now? Why after 2 years of being divorced do you come back now?”

“Because I realized I can’t live without her.” He said his face going from anger to sadness in 2 seconds. I’m supposed to feel bad for this bitch. Ha. I don’t.

“If losing her is what made you realize that, then you didn’t deserve her in the first place.”

“And you do? You deserve her? You can’t give her the life she wants. You’re nothing. Your own family didn’t want you…how long until she changes her mind and doesn’t want you too?”

“Hey!” Pinoe said glaring at him as I tried to keep my composure.

“Go fuck yourself Servando.” I said as I turned to walk away from him.

“No, I’ll just wait for Alex to come do it for me.”

I immediately turned nailing a right hook straight to his jaw. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting it as he stumbled falling right into the pool. I watched him go under before resurfacing. He looked up at me as he held his jaw. I bent down and pointed at him angrily.

“Stay the hell away from my wife.” I whispered to him as his eyes widened slightly. “I’ll end you otherwise. I don’t want to hear her name come from your lips ever again or I will make your life a living hell.”

I stood and turned walking towards the elevators as Pinoe followed closely. We headed for the elevators as I grimaced at the pain in my hand.

“So…that thing you said….” I looked at Pinoe who had a somewhat disappointed expression on her face.

“You heard that?” I asked as she nodded her head. I frowned realizing that maybe I shouldn’t have said what I said.

“Is it true?” she asked as the doors to the elevators opened. “Are you guys really married?” I nodded my head as she frowned.

“It literally just happened and was like a last-minute decision.” I said as the midfielder nodded her head.

“When did it happen?” she asked as I turned towards her.

“Yesterday. Becky and Christen are the only ones who know.” I said as she nodded her head again.

“I won’t tell. Clearly, there is a reason you didn’t tell everyone. I respect it. Just know we will be there to support you guys.”

“I know. Everything the last couple of weeks has been chaotic and it’s the one thing that made sense to me.”

“I get that. Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me. With Servando? Maybe not.”

“Yeah, I will cross that bridge when I get there.” I said as she nodded her head.

We stepped off to our floor before I immediately found my way to my room. I opened the door with Pinoe entering behind me. Alex was lounging on our bed. She was talking with Kelley, Allie, Christen, and Tobin. They all immediately looked over at me with wide eyes as I was visibly shaking. Alex was up off the bed as she found her way to me.

“I think you’re going to have ice that.” Pinoe commented as I hissed in pain upon flexing my hand a little.

“What the hell did you do?” Alex asked taking my hand in hers as she examined it. I grimaced at the pain.

“Punched Servando in the face.” Her head immediately snapped up as I gave her a sheepish smile.

“You did what?” Tobin asked with wide eyes. I glanced at her before looking back to Alex who was still giving me a confused look.

“In her defense, he deserved it.” Pinoe commented as I nodded my head at her.

“He did.” I said as Alex frowned at me. Christen came up behind her with some ice wrapped in a little washcloth. Alex immediately shot the other forward a smile before taking the ice from her to put it on my hand. I hissed in pain again as everyone was staring at me.

“What could he have possibly said for you to punch him?” Allie asked as I shrugged my shoulders.

“(Y/N) told him to go fuck himself and then he responded by saying he would just wait for Alex to do it for him.” Pinoe said rolling her eyes at my lack of answering.

“He said what?” Kelley asked with an angered expression. “Please tell me you hit him hard.”

“He fell into the pool.” I said as she grinned at me. I smiled at her, but it quickly turned into a frown upon seeing the upset look from Alex.

“Why don’t we give you guys a moment…” Christen said as she motioned everyone to exit the room as I stared at Alex.

“Pinoe knows we are married.” I said as Alex’s eyes widened significantly. “So does Servando.”

“Please tell me your joking.” She said with a frown as I shook my head. “How did that happen?”

“It all happened really fast.” I said as she shook her head looking at my hand. I moved my hand a little and felt relief wash over me as the pain in my hand began to subside.

“You should still ice it.” She mumbled as I nodded my head. I looked at her as she seemed to be lost in her thoughts.

“I’m sorry Alex.” I said as she shook her head looking up at me. She took my face in hands giving me a soft kiss.

“Don’t be. If he tells everyone, then he tells everyone. You are the best thing to have ever happened to me and I don’t care who knows that we are in love and bound to each other for the rest of our lives.”

“Kinky.” I said as she rolled her eyes. She smiled giving me another kiss.

“Please don’t go around punching anyone though. That’s a bad habit.” She said as I grinned at her.

“He deserved it.” I said as she nodded her head.

“I’m sure he did.” She said as I grinned at her nodding my head.

“He did!” I said as she laughed. “He was talking shit, so I had to put him in his place. As long as I am around, no one is ever going to speak ill about you.”

Eventually, I stopped icing my hand as we soon joined the rest of the group for some team bonding which mostly consisted of talking about our favorite moments from the tournament and how much we all love each other. Soon, we made it to bed as Alex and I were laying together. I was just about sleep when the forward jumped up, so she was straddling my waist. I stared at her with wide eyes as she stared down at me with a wide smile.

“Happy Birthday!” she said leaning down and pressing small kisses over my face. I smiled as she grinned at me.

“Thank you baby.” I said as she smiled.

“Do you want your gift now or later?” she asked as I smiled.

“Are you the gift?” I asked as she blushed. She shook her head no as I smiled slightly.

“Then, later.” I said as she pouted before nodding her head. She laid back down with me as we got comfortable again.

“I love you.” She said as I smiled slightly.

“I love you too.” I said as she grinned at me.

We fell asleep not long after that. When I woke up, I was being kissed again as I smiled. I grabbed the back of her neck pulling slightly so that I could take control of the kiss she was giving me. She let out a soft moan as she then pressed both her hands to my shoulders to keep me down on the bed. She was on top of me again as I smiled at her.

“What a wonderful way to wake up.” I breathed out as she smirked at me. Goddamn who knew Alex Morgan’s smirk could be so damn hot.

“Well…we are married now so…everyday…” she said as I laughed.

We both got up and started moving around to get dressed for the day. The final was today which was a huge deal. The Netherlands was going to give us everything and we had to be prepared. I had been cleared to play and was supposed to be in the starting lineup. I was ecstatic to get to play in my first World Cup final.

We made our way downstairs and I smiled when everyone said happy birthday to me. We were eating breakfast when Alex nudged me slightly. I looked over at her as she gave me a huge smile.

“So, I have a gift for you, but I also have a small surprise that I hope you like.” She said as I raised an eyebrow. “You have to close your eyes.”

I closed my eyes as the forward then moved. She placed her hands over my eyes as I groaned.

“I have to make sure you don’t peek.” She said as I huffed. She then helped me stand as I was turned around “Ready?”

She then took her hands off my eyes as I opened my eyes. My jaw dropped and my eyes started watering as Sebastian and Santiago stood in front of me with giant grins. I immediately threw myself at both boys as I was pulled into a hug by them.

“What are you doing here?” I asked trying to wipe away the tears.

“Alex flew us out. Did you really think we were going to miss our little sister playing in the World Cup Final?” Santiago asked as I smiled slightly. I hugged both boys again and stood talking with them until I had to leave them to head to the stadium. As we were exiting the room, I caught Alex’s arm and pulled her in for a kiss.

“I love you so much.” I said as she smiled at me.

“You deserve nothing but the best.” She said as I smiled at her. I really couldn’t love this girl more. “I love you too.”

We left the stadium and headed towards the stadium. As we got there, there were a ton of cameras as we entered the stadium. We got our stuff settled and then headed out for warm-ups. I walked out onto the pitch and smiled when I already saw some of the Netherlands players out there. My eyes found Lieke who seemed to see me. She smiled and came over to talk to me. We exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes which was mostly us just talking about how excited we were to play with each other next season.

Afterwards, we got to doing our warm-ups with our respective teams. The warm-ups continued for a little longer before we done and headed back into the locker room for final words before the game. I could tell everyone was feeling a little emotional as we got ready to walk out. Everything felt like a blur, as we were in our final huddle.

“Leave it out on the field.” Pinoe said as we all nodded our heads. “No matter what happens…this is our team and we did this.”

Alex and I were doing kick-off so we were standing waiting for the Netherlands national team to get in position. As they were running to all get ready, I jokingly tapped the ball to Alex who smiled and tapped it back to me.

“I love you.” She said as I gave her a soft smile.

“I love you too.” I said as the ref blew the whistle. I kicked the ball into our half as Alex ran the other way. She was so damn fast.

The game got off to a tricky start. The first half seemed to fly by with both teams doing everything they can to try and score. I don’t think any of us were playing that well to be honest. Kelley had got into a nasty head collision and I knew immediately that she was going to have to come out of the game. I groaned a little when another shot was missed. The first half seemed to end pretty quickly as we headed into the locker room.

“Well that sucked.” I said as I took a seat. Everyone seemed to let out a collective groan as we waited for Jill and them to say something.

“Are you good?” I looked over at JJ and nodded my head. I wasn’t going to let a bad half keep me down because this was the World Cup final and a once in a lifetime opportunity.

“I think we need to change tactics here.” Pinoe said as I nodded my head. We all continued talking about what we could do differently. After more talking, we got ready to head out to the field for the second half.

I felt a hand wrap around my arm as I turned towards Alex. She smiled and the grabbed my face pulling me in for a kiss. I smiled a little and then gave her a soft look.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

We headed out back onto the field for the second half. Things sort of continued like they had before with all of us trying to score. In the 57th minute, I almost lost it when Tobin sent the ball into the box for Alex who was immediately kicked. She fell to the ground as we all started yelling for a card. I let Sam and them talk to the ref as I immediately moved to sit next to Alex. I rested my hand on her stomach as she stared at me.

“Are you okay?” I asked as she nodded her head. She brought her hand to rest on my arm as I smiled at her softly. She sat up and I helped her up as we got ready for the corner. I then watched ref put her hand on her ear as she then blew her whistle and motioned for a penalty check.

I looked at Alex who smiled at me as the other girls came over to talk about the possible penalty and what we could be doing better. I grinned when the ref came back and motioned for a penalty. I looked to Pinoe who immediately put her hands on her face. I walked over to her and gave her a pat on the back as she nodded her head at me.

I almost lost my shit when she scored as we celebrated going up one against the Netherlands. We quickly got back to the game as we continued playing. In the 68th minute, Crystal dispossessed Van de Donk and Sam immediately scooped the ball up. She then passed it to me as I ran upfield. I saw Alex was calling for it, but I felt like I had a shot as I moved the ball onto my left foot and took a shot. I watched as it rolled passed the keeper into the back of the net. I grinned as I stood scooping Alex up into a hug. The others celebrated with us as I held her for a second. I then ran to the bench and celebrated with the rest of my team. I couldn’t describe how it felt to score a goal after everything that has happened. Nothing but relief.

After that, we continued playing and trying to defend against the Netherlands. I knew they played better in the second half, so we needed to be as guarded as possible. As time went on though, I couldn’t help but feel like we had this in the bag. Our defense is too solid right now for us to lose here.

I had the ball and dribbled upfield a little to do a runaround just wanting the ref to blow the whistle. I felt my heart stop a little as the whistle went. My eyes immediately looked for Alex who was threw her hands up into the air. I smiled as I made my way towards her. I pulled her into a hug as she wrapped her arms around my neck. We stood there hugging as people joined our hug. Nothing else mattered in this moment. I’ve won a world cup with my wife. Nothing could be better right now.

“We did it.” I said as she grinned at me.

“We did it.”

We continued celebrating with everyone as we soon got our medals and got the trophy. Pinoe had got the golden boot with Alex getting the silver boot. Pinoe then got the golden ball with me getting the bronze ball. I was overjoyed at having got the honor of this award. I won’t lie I definitely shed a tear when we got the trophy. We then made our way towards the families and friends. I immediately looked for my boys as I spotted them. I ran towards them and hugged them.

“You’re a World Cup Champion!” Sebastian said as I grinned.

“Not bad kid…” Santiago said as I shook my head. I watched some of my other teammates celebrate with their families and smiled as I watched Kelley come over and kiss her girlfriend. Good for her. I turned and saw Alex talking with her family. I walked over as she turned and motioned for me to come closer.

“Congrats” Her mom said as I grinned at them. I talked to them for a few minutes as we then turned to walk away from them and head back to celebrate with the team.

“(Y/N)” I turned just as Alex took my face in her hands. She placed her lips on mine as I smiled. I rested my hands on her waist holding her close. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I said as she gave me somewhat of a shy smile.

“I hope that was okay.”

“You have permission to kiss me anytime for the rest of our lives.” I said as she grinned giving me another kiss and a hug.

Eventually, we made our way to the locker room where we continued celebrating though this time with Alcohol. I chuckled when I watched some of the girls just start downing drinks left and right. Though, Alex was one of those girls so…that might be a little concerning. I watched Christen pull a towel over her head as I made my way towards her. I pulled her in for a hug as she hugged me back. Kelley then inserted herself into our hug as she was jumping up and down.

“We did it! We won a World Cup.” She said screaming. “You scored in the final!!”

I grinned and nodded my head as Christen and her both smiled at me.

“That was a good goal. Your left foot is almost better than mine.” Christen said as I shook my head.

“Yeah well…my left food could never be as good as yours. No one has a better left foot than MY best friend.” I said grinning at the girl who shook her head. “Well, besides Alex.”

“HEY!” Kelley said pointing at me. “You admitted it! She admitted it! Oh my god. You guys!”

“You called her your best friend!!” Mal yelled pointing at us as I chuckled.

“And…? She is my best friend.” I said as they all started talking to each other with excited looks.

Kelley then turned towards everyone and started telling them what I had said as they all started freaking out over me calling Christen my best friend.

“I fucking knew it!” Sonnett yelled at me as I shook my head at all of them.

“Go celebrate with your wife.” Christen said quietly to me as I turned to see Alex twerking with Ashlyn filming her.

“Oh jesus…” I mumbled as I made my way over to her. She grinned at me as I stepped into her personal space. I was vaguely aware of Ashlyn still walking around filming everything as Alex wrapped her arms around me.

“You’re becoming a little drunk aren’t you…” I said as the forward shook her head. Damn her for being a lightweight.

“I feel great.” She said with her speech slurring a little.

“I can tell.” I said as she grinned at me before pulling me in for a kiss. I found Drunk Alex to be one of the most amusing things ever. I smiled into her kiss and rolled my eyes when I heard the catcalls from around the locker room.

We continued the celebrations all the way up until we left the stadium heading for the hotel. When we got back, we changed and I jumped slightly when Alex hugged me from behind.

“I have a gift for you.” She mumbled with her words slurring more than before. I turned as she handed me a box. It was small as I took the gift paper off of it. I opened the box to reveal a black ring that had a diamond in the shape of an arc reactor from ironman. The words, ‘To my safe place’ were inscribed on the inside of the band in silver letters.

“Alex…” I mumbled as the forward gave me a bright smile. “This is amazing.”

“The first night we ever talked you talked about liking superheroes and your love for ironman. You talked about how you saw yourself in him and the way he found his family in his team and the people around him. You said that it was the same for you because you found your family in the people around you.”

I bit my lip as I surged forward to capture her lips into a searing kiss. She smiled as I pulled her as close as possible. The kiss started to get very heated as we then heard banging on the door. She groaned as I pulled away.

“Still have a party to go to.” I said as she nodded her head. She went to open the door as I slipped the ring on. It fit perfectly which left me to wonder how she knew my ring size.

We left the hotel not long after that and headed to the party to celebrate our win. Once we got there, I immediately spotted Sebastian and Santiago. I ran towards them as I jumped up and down with them.

“Oh my god!” I said as they both smiled at me.

“Is this not the greatest birthday ever?” Santi said as I smiled at the guy. “Oh my god….I love your ring. What the fuck?” I grinned as I showed off the arc reactor ring that Alex had given me.

“Alex got it for me for my birthday.” I said as they both smiled at me softly.

“This is dope as hell.” Seb said as I nodded my head. “I need me someone like that.”

“I’m one lucky person. That’s for sure.”

I continued moving around and talking to people. I yelped in surprise when Kelley yanked on my arm.

“Come on.” She said as she pulled me through the crowd of people.

“Where are you taking me?” I groaned as we approached her girlfriend.

“(Y/N), you remember Chrissy.” She said as I grinned at the girl. We had only met a few times.

“Of course! Hi, it’s so nice to see you again.” I know she’s been in France since like the beginning of the tournament, but I have been a little preoccupied with other shit.

“Hey! Congratulations and Happy Birthday!” she said as I smiled. I went to thank her when I felt arms snake around my neck and a face bury itself into my neck. I saw Kelley chuckle softly as I turned to face my wife.

“I’m stealing her.” Alex said pulling me towards the people dancing. We started dancing as the forward grinned at me.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The party continued as we eventually ended up on top of the bar. I had started drinking a little but was nowhere near the level that Alex and them were on. The hangover she was going to have tomorrow was going to be great to watch.

As the night continued, we continued having fun. There was a ton of dancing, singing, and all around shenanigans. Eventually, we departed and headed back to the hotel. Alex was very drunk as I helped her into the room. She smiled at me as she pulled me in by my shirt placing a kiss on my lips. I smiled and reciprocated the kiss as she gripped the back of my neck holding me in place. Her other hand came to my face as she pulled me towards the bed. She turned us a little as I hit the bed and fell onto my back. I stared up at her as she took her shirt off.

“I’ve been waiting so long for this.” She said as she climbed on top of me. I bit my lip as she started placing kisses on my jaw and neck. I need to stop this. She is too drunk. There’s no way she will remember doing this in the morning and that will honestly just break my heart.

“Baby…we need to stop.” I groaned as I pulled away a little. She frowned at me as I tried to hold strong on not giving in to how fucking good she looked in this moment.

“Why?” she asked with a sad look. “Do you not want me?”

“What?” I asked as stared at her in shock. “Of course, I want you…you’re just too drunk to do this right now. The first time we do this I want you to remember it the next morning.”

“Oh…are you sure?” she asked with a pout.

“Yes, I am sure. I love you Alex. I’m always going to want you. That’s never going to change.” I said as I gave her another kiss. She smiled into it as we kissed for a few minutes. I stood and sat her on the bed as I moved to grab some pajamas for her. I helped her change and take off her makeup with her keeping her eyes completely focused on my every move. I changed really quick before climbing into bed with her.

“Happy Birthday…I love you.”

“Thank you…I love you too.” I said as she continued trying to fight sleep.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled with her voice full of sleep as she snuggled into me as much as she could.

“Why are you sorry?” I asked as she shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know.”

“Then, don’t apologize.” I said kissing her forehead as she gave me a lazy smile.

“Okay…thank you for taking care of me.”

“I’ll always be there to take care of you.” I said as she grinned at me.

“I know. It’s why I married you.” She joked as I shook my head. Drunk Alex has jokes.

“Well…I guess it’s a good thing I plan to be here with you forever.” I said as she smiled sweetly at me. Eventually, we drifted off into sleep. I know this is only the beginning of the craziness that is to follow us the next few weeks.

To Be Continued…

#alex morgan imagine #alex morgan imagines #alex morgan #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt

[alleywraith]

A Scouring Black Wind

((TRIGGER WARNING!! Putting the story under the cut. This is very violent and has elements that imply selling children for sexual slavery. DO NOT READ IF YOU MIGHT BE TRIGGERED BY THIS))

“Luke, you twat, why do we have to do business in a fucking cave?”

Luke, the big Seawolf smirked as he crossed his arms. As usual the Roe wore a vest to display the vast number of scars that ran along his arms, there were plenty to match all over his body, a hard life in a hard business had seen to leave its mark. “Watch it David or I’ll knock that buck toothed scowl from your face. We are here because some asshat informed the Jackets about our little gig.”

David spat to the side, his scowl still no going away. He was not pleased to have left the nice dry Thanalan weather for a damp cave in a remote armpit of a mining village in La Noscea.”They are all urchins no one should care if some rich fucker wants to buy them to…” The Midlander paused and tilted his head, he had heard what sounded like a scraping noise near the cave entrance. “Something is off.”

Before either man could speak again there was a blood curdling scream from the cave entrance, which was followed by calls to arms by the men posted to guard the meeting.

“David head back to make sure the slaves are ready and the guards on them are alert.” Luke was off at a run before he had even finished talking. “Gods damn Yellowjackets.”

What met Luke was not a squad of the La Noscean guard, but rather one man, a red headed Seeker dressed in a dark colored long coat. And that Seeker shot the larger man a look of predatory fury, a tiger ready to unleash the hate.

As soon as the Roe came into view Vash turned a steely gaze at the man that was now simply an obstacle to be removed. Powerful legs drove him forward toward his prey, long coat trailing behind him with the sudden burst of speed, and deep in his mind Vash was glad to be doing something other than training, to be back to a bit of blade work. He closed the gap in a flash, ducking low to make his profile even smaller.

Luke was shocked, but not to the point of being petrified and he looked like he welcomed the fight as much as Vash did. A big meaty hand went to his back to pull his greatsword free in a move that would aim to cleave the Seeker in two. The blade suddenly jarred in his grip and there was the unmistakable sound of steel hitting stone. The cave was too small for his weapon…

And that was all the opening Vash needed. He brought his own weapon around from where it had been hidden under his coat. There was a mechanical whir and snap as the magitek based gunblade snapped open from it’s stored position, and no sooner had the weapon come to life than Vash drove it into the gut of the Seawolf thug, angling it upward so that the blade got closer to the heart. Now there was a wicked smile from the redhead as he pulled the trigger of the weapon sending an ultrasonic vibration down the length of the blade. Vash twisted the weapon and sliced through his enemy’s torso easily, blood spattering both himself and the cave walls.

And it was over that quick, Luke almost looked like a beat had torn into him, and in a manner of speaking one had. But Vash spared the slaver not a second thought as he continued further into the cave.

No resistance was offered until he got to a larger cavern that housed a fenced in area full of several children, and six men of various races with weapons drawn and at the ready for the intruder that was disrupting their business.

Once more Vash had no intention of waiting for his prey to come to him, and he bolted forward because to hells with the odds. But he was not a foolish man, having made a very nice living in another lifetime being a meticulous planner. His arm whipped forward and he turned his head to the side just in time for a brilliant flash of light to fill the cavern punctuated by screams of frightened children and the shouts of the surprised gangsters. A tiger on the hunt, but a prepared tiger.

As men blinked to try and clear their vision he set upon them with twin long knives, a dark dervish slicing and stabbing before they could mount a successful defense, and within moments he had felled the majority of the thugs with no real resistance at all. As he readied to pounce on the remaining men he brought up his arm to block a blow from a staff that reverberated through his limb even despite the metal bracer he wore. The staff user tried to press the attack now, having mostly recovered from the flash bombs that head led to the demise of most of his cohorts.

Vash yielded ground for as the man with the staff was joined by another thug bearing knuckle dusters as his weapon of choice, they had him on the defensive and they were intent on earning their pay and a bonus for killing this disruptor. Or so they thought. Once more his arm whipped out in a smooth almost effortless motion, this time two thin throwing blades flying through the air, each blade bearing a thin blue line that pulsed softly as they made their deadly trip. One hit the staff itself, the man manageing to block that blade, but the other embedded itself in his thigh causing the gang member to howl in pain. That sound did not last long though as both knives suddenly pulsed and electricity arched between the two blades. Every muscle in the man’s body seized up and that was all Vash needed and he launched himself like a shot from a gun, in less than a second he buried a stiletto hilt deep through the man’s eye and into his brain causing the thug to fall to the ground like a puppet with his strings cut.

The fist fighter seemed to be totally taken aback by his companion’s demise, but he still charged forward and now Vash had a bit more of his work cut out for him. Fists and knives became a flurry of activity laced through with kicks and other close combat techniques from both of the men. Blows landed one each of them, but in the end Vash managed to allow himself to take a glancing blow to his jaw so that he could spin a blade and jam it up into an exposed armpit right before his other blade drove into a wonderfully exposed throat.

“S...stay back!” David, the sole survivor from the gang was holding a short sword as he tried to get the gate to the slave pen open, a desperate attempt to get a hostage.

Vash was on him in an instant, this time a sweep of a blade disarmed David in an instant, slicing easily through the tendons in the man’s wrist. He barely had time to cry out in agony before Vash started to work him over, blow after blow landing solidly even after he fell to the ground. The last slaver’s breathing was ragged through his ruined face as Vash relented to get to his feet and move to the slave pen, his gunblade shearing through the latch on the gate.

“Get out of here, all of you. Look for the men in blue by the windmill, they will get you to safety.”

As soon all of the kids were gone two emerald colored eyes turned back to regard the man writhing in agony on the ground. “C’mere…” Vash was not even close to gentle as he took a fistful of hair to David into the slave pen. “Selling children...and you know why they are being bought…”

“I...we had to...Goliath runs the racket!” David sobbed now as he held up his hands to try and ward off any more blows. “P..please...I..um...I’ll turn myself in! You can turn me in! Don’t kill me!”

Vash was ice cold as he looked down at the blubbering gangster, weighing the option briefly. “Nah...I don’t think so.” His hand seized the man’s jaw in a vice like grip painfully squeezing it open. As soon as David’s mouth was open far enough Vash stuffed a small sphere into the opening, breaking teeth in the process. He had gotten information by giving the man a glimpse of hope, but now it was time to finish things off. The Seeker stood and backed up even as David tried to work his now ruined jaw. But he did not have to worry about his jaw for long, a whirring sound emanated from the sphere right before tiny hooks snapped out from its surface painfully locking it in place. And then the fire shard went to work, and with a dull pop a rush of heat ended David’s life in a very painful boiling of his own tissues.

#Vash Eldin #IC Story #tw:violence #tw:sensitive matter

[deathtouch]

💛 femfeb day 16 | my femfeb masterpost 🧡 xposted → ao3 | dw | pf.io 💖 Symmetra/Widowmaker | 1.7k | Teen and up 🧡 Soulmates, Colors, Past Relationship(s), Love at First Sight, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, Loss, Sunsets 💛 au where you're colorblind until you meet your soulmate

The second time she saw color, it was like a sucker punch. Amélie hadn’t expected it, and worst of all she hadn’t wanted it. The world had faded to black and white the moment Gerard met his end, and she was fully prepared to live the rest of her life that way.

That was her fate; cold, empty, and grey.

Then she got eyes on their mark, spotted her through the scope of her sniper rifle, and it was like a fire work exploding in front of her face. All of a sudden, the world was in color again, bright and vibrant; painfully so. It was lucky she was only doing surveillance, or she would have missed her shot.

This was nothing like when she had met Gerard. The moment she laid eyes on him, all the colors of the world had filled in. Softly, slowly, muted in pastels at first. The soft olive tone of his skin, the champagne colored pocket square in his suit jacket. The sunset lighting up the sky behind him, blue and pale purple.

Amélie didn’t like to think about it anymore. She didn’t like to look at sunsets anymore, the maudlin grays blending together to make a depressing gradient from black to white. She didn’t like to think about color at all. It didn’t hurt, exactly, but there was something in her that felt disastrously empty whenever she tried to remember the brown of Gerard’s eyes, or the purple of the flowers she held in her wedding bouquet, or the golden color of sunlight on the beach during their honeymoon.

There was no slow fade this time. It hit her, slammed into her, forced her to jerk back and gasp for breath. For a moment all she could see was blue. Blue, blue, blue. The bright blue of the sky, the blue of her own skin. Then the shock faded, and she spied other colors in the haze of bright saturated chaos, and she didn’t know what to do.

She put a stop to the mission at once, infuriating both Sombra and Reaper by demanding they abandon their plans. She didn’t even have an excuse for them, and they weren’t buying her vague comments that ‘something felt wrong’. She was being honest, though. Something felt very wrong. She could see color again. This shouldn’t be happening.

She had half a mind to leave it, to flee from this, whatever it was. Talon wanted a Vishkar architect at their beck and call, but it didn’t have to be this one. It could be any one. Sombra could dig up dirt on someone else. They could black mail someone else. They could work with someone else.

Not her.

Not Amélie’s soulmate.

Unable to move forward with the mission, they were left trapped in a safe house in Rio De Janeiro. Sombra and Reaper bickered endlessly on what to do, where to go from here, how to salvage this excursion. They only stopped to turn their attentions to Amélie in order to berate her or demand an explanation from her.

She wanted to be alone, to find a place where no one could see or hear her. She wanted to scream until her throat was raw. She wanted to run far, far away from this woman and never look back.

She got lost in her thoughts, trying to understand how and why this was happening. Amélie found herself watching the purple glow of Sombra’a cybernetics as she paced the length of the safe house back and forth. It was so bright, that color. So vibrant. How did she ever manage to maintain stealth?

When she cautiously checked the time Amélie found that four hours had slipped right between her fingers, four hours that she couldn’t account for herself and any of her thoughts. Amélie felt only despair.

She resolutely did not want to know this woman, or anything about her, and yet she found herself saying, “I need more info on our mark.”

“Well what’s that fucking matter now, we blew our opportunity to make contact five hours ago!” Sombra snapped, coming to stand in front of her.

Amélie looked at her, at her oddly pale blue eyes and the garish fuchsia lipstick she was wearing. Whatever expression was on her own face must have been convincing, because Sombra suddenly looked disconcerted. She fished one of her data pads out of her jacket pocket and handed it over.

The information was already queued up. Satya Vaswani. There were pictures of her. Photos of her in official Vishkar uniform, long hair neatly pulled back, yellow visor covering half her face. She stood straight backed and serious faced at a handful of ribbon cutting ceremonies at different hospitals and education centers in locations all over the worlds.

The one picture that really struck her was a surveillance photo ripped from some kind of CCTV. Satya was dressed in a vibrant blue sari, with blue jewelry and a bright blue glow emanating from the palm of her artificial hand. Amélie swallowed, forcing her jaw to relax before she clenched it so hard, she broke a molar.

“I’ll bring her in,” she said, suddenly, words leaving her mouth before she really knew what she was saying.

Sombra and Reaper exchanged glances.

“Find where she is, I’ll bring her in.” Amelie said again with more force.

They both knew how dangerous she was, and that she wasn’t a person to be argued with.

Sombra cursed under her breath and took the data pad back. Already hacked in to the network of security cameras in the area, she just had to narrow down a facial recognition search and start scanning. It took a few minutes to get a hit.

“She’s at a hotel, the Imperial on Rua do Catete 186.” Sombra said, passing the data pad back.

On the screen there was live footage of a hotel bar. Satya sat away from her colleagues, all dressed to official Vishkar perfection. They were all smirking and sipping their drinks, Satya excluded. She seemed mostly bored with the proceedings.

Amélie felt odd looking at her, knowing that this was her soulmate and that this was what she was doing in real time. She had to pass the pad back quickly, not wanting any more to do with it. For a long moment she sat where she was, staying perfectly still.

She wasn’t sure she could go through with this after all...

Lest she lose four more hours of her life, and the opportunity to speak to this woman who could potentially be important to her, she stood. She left the safe house feeling numb, escaping back out onto the streets of Rio. The bright colors the world offered her were a bitter sweet taste in her mouth.

Without thinking, she navigated the busy streets with relative ease. Her feet carried her where she needed to go, knowing the way. She made a conscious effort not to ignore the invisible pull of her soulmate drawing the two of them together. She found herself at the correct hotel well before she was ready to face this, whatever it was.

She hesitated outside for a long time, standing in front of the building and staring it down as if it was Goliath and she were David with his sling. She had conquered love once. She could conquer this too.

Amélie forced herself inside, into the decadent hotel lobby. It was wrought in gold and marble, an impossibly expensive place for a town as broken and lost as Rio De Janeiro was. Ignoring the guests with their rolling suitcases, and the staff in their smart red suit coats, Amélie made her way to the bar.

She found the gathered group of Vishkar employees, considerably more drunk than they had been on the live footage of the data pad. They were still straight laced and smug looking, smirking over their martini glasses as they jeered with one another. Satya, however, was not immediately in sight.

Amélie felt relieved, at first. It was done. Satya was gone for the night, left, unable to be found and thus this problem unable to be solved. She was ready and willing to flee from it, and never think of this day or this explosive technicolor revelation ever again.

Then, Amélie spotted her. She had moved from the bar to a comfortable lounge chair by the window to stare out at the street and the setting sun. It was hard to force her feet to move, to walk in that direction. Somehow, she managed it, determinedly putting one foot in front of the other. She approached the empty chair beside Satya.

Amélie opened her mouth to speak, but wasn’t entirely sure what to say...

Saved from coming up with a comment, Satya turned to glance at Amélie all on her own without any prompting. She went suddenly very still. Whether the color had filled in slowly or all at once, it was impossible to tell, but it was clear that something changed the moment she laid eyes on Amélie.

She swallowed, throat shifting with the movement, but other than that she gave nothing away. Her eyes swept from Amélie across the bar, towards the glittering gold lobby, and then back again. She looked at Amélie a second time, raising up an eyebrow.

“Would you like to sit?” She offered, and her voice sounded dangerously seductive. The kind of voice Amélie could enjoy listening to, especially if it was whispering filth in her ear.

“I suppose I should,” Amélie replied, folding herself neatly onto the nearby chair.

Satya glanced out the window and her eyes lingered on the sunset, taking it all in. She was quiet for a long while, soaking in her first experience seeing color. She was handling it with remarkable poise and dignity.

Having avoided it until now, Amélie glanced out at the setting sun too. A part of her still expected to see a dull gradient of grey. It wasn’t grey, it was solid gold. Brilliant and bright, a reflection of Satya’s eyes. Yellow, orange, and red, blazing hot, warm toned in a way that warmed her heart.

“So, the sunset really is as beautiful as they say.” Satya murmured.

She was right. It was beautiful. It was so beautiful. Amélie felt something stirring in her chest. She never thought she would see this again. She never thought she would feel like this again. She was suddenly very grateful for Satya to giving this to her.

Amélie hadn’t expected this, and she hadn’t wanted it when it first happened but... maybe this was a good thing.

Maybe she could learn to love someone new.

i’m taking femslash february suggestions year round send requests or prompts ➝ here follow me on twitter ➝ here thanks for reading ✩°｡⋆

#femslash february #overwatch femslash #symmetra #widowmaker #widowmetra #femfeb #femfeb 2019 #fanfic

[rassasassalin]

Merry Christmas, everyone!  Especially for the poor folks that have to work during the holidays.

Dude, I'm gonna cry at the first fucking sign I see tonight being a get well soon Dean one.  I mean, I love it, but also I'm in serious emotional pain here.

On a totally separate note, Corey and Booker are looking Hella.

On an even separater note, what is with the bees sign.

Goddammit John Cena stop doing sweet things like this I want to be annoyed at how you're never going to be a fucking heel even though you should be.

...them doing Christmas in Chicago worries me.  Hopefully the crowd will be nice tonight?

WHOO, ELIAS, WHOO!!! -also happy rusev day to the dude holding that sign, a happy rusev day to us all- I love when he does his drifter thing.  I mean, I like him being in the center of the ring too, but I really like it when he walks and plays at the same time.

Elias: WWE stands for Walk With Elias Everyone else: Oh shit, he's right!

Welp.  7 minutes in.  Couldn't go for fucking 7 minutes with a CM Punk Chant.  ANd poor Elias is wrong.  Even when he's not here, Punk's gonna end up interrupting.

I really love Elias.  I can't believe how much I love Elias and Cena interacting.  Holy shit.  Holy shit.  I can't wait til that gets gifed.  Elias is a Gift. Chicago wasn't even booing about how shitty Chicago is.  Chicago knows.  Cena, nobody was booing, what are you doing- I mean, I know what you're doing, but still.  Cena, It's Chicago, they ARE jerks.

Are we gonna get a Christmas Carol with Elias?  Because I would hella watch an Episode of Raw where Elias is Scrooge and has to deal with various Ghosts of Christmas to teach him the true meaning of Christmas.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD, ELIAS IS THE BEST, WHAT A MAN No, Elias you dumbfuck, don't keep going after Cena, he's down, leave the fucking ring before gets up and kills yo- oh no, not a match, Elias you were doing so good now you're going to loooooooooooose because you're being an asshole and it's Christmas.  Babe, you giant hipster asshole, why couldn't you have just given the suckerpunch and left while you were in control and winning?

Sometimes I forget how strong Elias is.  I don't know how I manage to do that, because look at the fucking man, but I do.  Maybe it's the scarves.  Or the cut of his jeans.  Probably the cut of his jeans.  If he wore normal jeans, I'd think he looks like a brawny lumberjack viking hybrid.  But his jeans are way too much something I'd see someone wearing in Starbucks.

Things I hope Elias doesn't do tonight: Tap.  He can get pinned, he can pass out, but I really don't want him to quit.

Yep, a pin.  Well, you know what, It was a good match.  Elias looked awesome in it, so I'll take it.  A heel, after all, is only as good as the Faces they can be beaten by.  Not counting the David and Goliath kind of flukes, which are great when they happen but not common.

Give Seth Samoa Joe, Kurt.  Jason, shut up, I appreciate you but let Seth have his revenge which is more pressing than your own. Kurt, don't make Seth team with Jason.  He can't team with that face. Fuck, I miss Dean. Seth looks so tired tho, seriously, is he doing okay? Holy shit Roman paid off Kurt so HE could get Joe all to himself.  Roman.  Roman, did you talk to your Shieldmate about thhhhHHHAAAAAAAA CRUISERWEIGHTS

Kendrick!  JACK!  KENDRICK VS HIDEO!!!!! Jack's little eye rolls are adorable.  I love heel Jack.  He's like an old Bond Villain.  I love posh and technically polite but definitely Heel Brits.  It's a cliched trope but it's so good when it's played right.  It reminds me of Regal when I was watching him and I was old enough to really appreciate his character.

Jack please, behave yourself so you don't get killed by a knee.  I'd really appreciate if you stay around because I love you and I don't want you dead.

Things that bother me about wrestling: when wrestlers roll down their kneepads or take off their elbowpads when they're about to hit a move.  I always worry about them hurting themselves when they do it.  Always.  Everytime.

I'm reminded now how much I really liked Steph's outfit last week.  I don't think I even really noticed it at the time, because I was thinking too much about what was happening in the ring, and what was to come, but now definitely, I can sit back and be like, damn, I wish I could pull that look off.

...oooooh nooooo the rumble's in phillllllly shittttt

AW THEY'RE SO FUCKING CUTE I LOVE BO AND CURTIS And.... they're actually not that bad at singing???  Wow.  I'd give them some figgy pudding.  Merry Mizmas, everyone, and a Happy Rusev Day~

I love when Paige's entrance is going, and she comes out and the lights hit her just right and she looks like she's tinted purple.  Makes her look like she could be a villainess in a comic book.

You know one day, maybe they'll actually go full circle with the whole story about Bailey not going to be able to really go all out like she should in the ring as far as going "hardcore" goes, and she's going to do it by murdering all the other female wrestlers around, beating them with kendo sticks until she breaks them- the sticks, that is, not the other wrestlers- and knocking them around with chairs and shit, and then she ends up ruling the women's division with an iron hug on ECW- which will totally exist again by this time and Dean will be the face of it so that he can let his mouth go and do the wrestling that he does best but just not quite as hardcore because let's be real I don't want him actually seriously getting hurt and/or cutting himself or his opponents open anymore, but there should be a nice balance that can be reached between nasty looking bumps and staying safe.

Things that always makes me wince with women's wrestling: when a chick just faceplants straight onto the mat.  It makes my tits hurt just thinking about it.

Oh wow, okay, I didn't think a heel would win tonight.  Curious.  But then, Absolution can't really loose right now, fair enough.  It'd kill their momentum.

STOP FUCKING SHOWING DEAN GETTING HURT.  Goddammit WWE why do you do this to me, I used to know that if someone actually got hurt, I'd know because you wouldn't show it.  Now you're like, hey no, let's watch it against thirty-two times, let's watch it again now in Slow Motion.  You did this to me when Enzo nearly died, you did this to me when Cesaro fucked up his teeth, you did it when Seth destroyed Cena's nose, I just really fucking don't appreciate this.

Renee: Hey Joe, you wanna apologize to me for fucking up my husband.

Joe: Dean can be home with those he loves the most. Renee, his actual wife, who is not at home with him at Christmas: ..................

Heath, baby, why didn't you get your kids christmas presents???  Rhyno, why are you trying to kill Heath?  This was not what I was picturing when you said you were going to toughen up Heath.  I was hoping for like, Rocky training montages.  Bring in Bob Backland again.  Maybe making him eat a whole bunch of crackers without anything to drink.  This is ridiculous, and by that, I mean not nearly ridiculous enough.

HELL YEAH RHYNO KICK HIS ASS OH NO RHYNO welp.  It was a good attempt.

Trying to figure out if I like the sound of *Merry* Rusev Day.  Like, it's not grammatically incorrect, but maybe it's like how you never say Merry Holidays because it just sounds wrong.  Merry Hollidays makes me flinch and cringe and want to cry out in confusion.  Merry Rusev Day doesn't kick me in the gut quite like that, but it also doesn't really roll off the tongue, so...  Hmm.  Must think on it.

Holy shit, Curt Hawkins.  Maybe give him a win as a christmas miracle???  Nevermind, It's Finn.

Jesus Christ, why are they having Finn fighting Curt on CHRISTMAS.  They really, honestly, don't know what to do with him, do they?

Concept:  They use the fact that Finn is obviously being misused and that we all know that Vince doesn't believe in him, to turn him heel.  But only heel to those who work for the company.  Like, the same but opposite of Roman, where everyone who works for the company treats him like a face despite when he does very heel things like TRYING TO MURDER A MAN WITH A MOTOR VEHICLE, I LOVE YOU ROMAN BUT YOU STILL DID THAT AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SUFFERED NO CONSEQUENCES FOR THAT, ATTEMPTED MURDER SHOULD AT LEAST GET A TITLE SHOT TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU.  Seriously tho, heels and faces are changing, they have been for a long time now, the fact that they keep making Heels that have valid points and grievances so the fans are actually sympathetic to them, and we have the people in charge to make that sort of stuff work.  It'd just be like, the next step up from what happened in the Attitude Era with Stone Cold and Vince- in that Austin was clearly NOT a GOOD guy, but he was the lesser of two evils, and if I had to choose who to cheer for between him and McMahon, I'd be cheering for the Rattlesnake every time.

One of the Bella's is so making a return during the women's royal rumble and I'm not really excited about it.

BOYS LEAVE GOLDUST ALONE It looks like they got that DVD out of the dollarbin, omg.

Titus, you're beautiful, never change

Oh god, here we go, time for me to love and cry and be uncomfortable and laughing all at the same time.  Nice to know that Sister Abigail was a scrooge. More things I don't really like- how they keep doing promos but they're not going at in or around the ring.  I feel like they're hyping it up and it's never going to live up to OH MY GOD NEVER MIND BRAY'S ACTUALLY HERE, BRAY MY LOVE, MY DARLING SWAMP SANTA CULT LEADER God I hope when Bray and Matt have their showdown- which obviously must happen on neutral grown between their home compounds- they have like, an actual army on both sides that they can lead.  I want a whole hoard of sheepmasks and people wearing clothing made out of brocades and couch covers and shit using shields made of old broken down rowboats. Things I miss from TNA: Matt being able to teleport and shit.

...Guys, I love you, I adore the Bar you set, but that's messed up guys. oh ouch guys, come on, Kurt obviously wants him as his kid, that's harsh, dang.

Oh MAN I HOPE MUSTAFA'S IN THAT STREET FIGHT HE WAS SO FUN DURING THE HALLOWEEN MATCH DUDE.  ALSO, maybe a return of Street Drew?  Pff, ehehe, "street" drew.  What a dweeb.  I love him.

....WHERE IS Oh my god.  Oh my gooooooooooooood....  Drew.. Drew, why do you let him do this to you?  I mean, I like the jacket, it's much nicer than Davari's, but- HE"S GOT NAUGHTY AND NICE ON HIS TAPE AND NOW I ACTUALLY WANT TO CALL HIM SUGARPLUM, dammit Enzo don't make me- LOOK AT DREW APOLOGIZING FOR ENZO TALKING SHIT ABOUT COLE, EVEN THOUGH COLE WAS SO MEAN TO HIM WHEN HE WAS A GUEST COMMENTATOR!!!!!!

New Year, new cruiserweight Champion?  One can only hope.

Elf Drew half standing on the second rope, le gasp.  What a brave bab- TOZAWA'S WEARING CHRISTMAS COLORS

Aw, Gulak lost his jacket. I really do wish that they had Davari wrestle more. I love hating his character, and it feels like I never actually get to see him do shit anymore.OH SHIT DREW, NO!!!!! CEDRIC, I LOVE YOU, BUT WHY DID YOU LET DRWE RUN INTO ENZO LIKE THAT, DREW'S GONNA GET IN TROUBLE FOR THAT, STOPPING GETTING DREW IN TROUBLE, HE CAN GET INTO ENOUGH OF THAT BY HIMSELF. That camera work was honestly not great during this match tho, honestly, I feel like I missed so much during it???  But we can ignore all that and be thankful for being able to see Drew Gulak with his naughty and nice fists, and getting to see Tozawa being festive, and Cedric getting a win over Enzo, and most importantly, Mustafa getting a win in his hometown.  Savor it, because that shit doesn't happen every day in the WWE.

Why do they gotta fucking hamfist this fucking shit with Nia and Enzo?  Why couldn't they like, ease into it?  I can't.  I literally can't even watch this shit, I can't, I'm embarrassed by it all OH THANK GOD ALEXA, BEST COCKBLOCK thank you from saving from that.  I think I wouldn't hate it quite so much if they didn't both "How y'doin'?" to each other so much, there's something about how it clearly doesn't come easy to her to say it and it the script is so hokey and it's not like, charming hokey.  It's less well written than the stuff they did between Enzo and Lana, and that's saying something.

Roman kills me when he holds the belt like that.  If he was an actual heel, and treated like a heel, and he was doing it because he doesn't give a shit about the title, then that'd be fine.  That'd be good character work.

Nice drive by by Roman tho.  That's good shit.  That's what I came to see. Also, i could totally be wrong, absolutely wrong here because I don't have the volume up very high, but was the crowd chanting for the Bruiserweight?  I might just have UK Wrestling on my mind and am hearing things wrong.  God, I want a weekly UK show.  Even a monthly one.  I'd put up with once a month as long as at least every three months, I get to see Dunne and Bates fight. Joe does such a great Uranage.  And the way he flies through the ropes.  Who gave such a hoss of a man the right to be so nimble? Yes, thank you Book, nine months without Dean, that's fucking great.  On the plus side, when he comes back, oh the Pop.  He's gonna get such a pop.

Ah yes, see?  Roman doing heel things despite being a Face.  You can't go messing with the ref's, my sweet.  If he was just going to go and kill Joe, he might as well have invited Seth to join in with him. SHUT UP COREY DEAN'S CAREER IS FINE They've been using the steel steps a lot lately.  And fucking with people's throats.  Does somebody on the writing team have an odd kink?  I mean, I'm not super complaining- well, I'll complain about the throat things just because I feel like it's too easy for mess up and really seriously hurt someone like that, and also because the coughing gagging noises the guys tend to make afterward sets off my own gag reflex and I hate that-, because it could definitely be worse.  It's not a something on a Pole match, at least, but... eh.

Beating the Bah, Seth? What a cute.   YOU WHAT MOTHERFUCKER????  JASON OFFICIALLY HEEL, OFFICIAL HEEL Also glad to see, upon closer inspection, that Seth doesn't actually look totally exhausted, it's just that he has a bit of a lingering bruise around the eye.  Maybe a bit of a shiner.

Welcome Back, Bo and Curtis, you lovely gifts you.  WHOO!  Singalong~ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY BABIES!!!!!!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MY BABIES THEY AIN'T BEEN DOING NOTHING BUT SINGING NICE CAROLS AND GIVING OUT GIFTS TONIGHT Rip, Bo, you were killed by a beautiful clothesline. Curtis is going to break his neck again, gonna have to go back to wearing the brace. Okay Braun, you won, no please just leave the ring and not continue to murder my boys, don't be a grinch, don't be a grINCH BRAUN PLEASE STOP LISTENING TO THE CROWD, DAMMIT just leave my trash boys lay there dead, you're making this a very bad Rusev Day for them.

Bliss looks like she's gonna cry, awwww... Ah, yes, there it is, there's my Asuka's Gonna Kill You chant.  Love that chant.  Probably more than I should. YES!  YES!!!!!  I always want Asuka to kick people in the face after she explains to them that they ain't ready for her, and HERE WE ARE!  She made me wait for it, but I forgive her.

I give about as much of a fuck about what Brock feels about anything as Brock gives a fuck about Slater's kids. But I'll look forward to seeing Paul

STOP.  FUCKING.  SHOWING.  THAT.  SHIT.  WITH.  DEAN.  THANK.  YOU.  KINDLY.

So, it's not that I have a problem with Jordan turning heel.  It's pretty much the clear turn, you know.  But I don't like how there doesn't seem to be a reason... why?  Like he went from "I'm gonna prove myself Dad!" and going toe to toe with some hella talent, to "Daaaaaaaaad, gimme a maaaaatch...!" to "I'm the best in the world, you should be honored to get to wrestle with me" with like...  Well, between the first two there was a reason-ish, with him trying to fight even though he was hurt and because he kept losing and kept getting hurt he had to start whining to get his way.  But there was no lead up to this point now.  We haven't got to see anyone telling him how good he is, inflating his ego- like, a female who maybe wanted to get better chances at the belt so she starts hooking up with Jordan to try and get good with Kurt or get back at him, like Emma had threatened that one time, that would be something that makes sense- or him getting some cheap fluke wins that he makes out to mean more than they are and he starts to think he's an A superstar instead of a C+ to B one, you know?  Now he's all swaggering around talking about how he's better than Ambrose?  Who was just hurt last week?  To the man's tag team partner who is also his brother?  Are you shiting me???  It all feels so inorganic.

I hate when Sheamus doesn't do all ten beats.  Like, I know so many other people are ingrates, but I've always adored you Sheamus, why are you punishing *me*, personally?  Because that's what that is.  It's a personal attack against myself.

Crowd's looking at something, what are they- Ah, yes, Jordan got up, okay. Jordan is definitely physically impressive.  I'm looking forward to the point in time when they make his character less obnoxious.

Fuck me, I love when Cesaro does the sharpshooter.

I...  um.......... So what I'm getting out of this is.... When Deano comes back, he's going to come back as a well beloved, Austin-like Heel as he makes Jason Jordan's life a living hell for having the balls to take his title?  This is... interesting?  hmmm....

#wwe raw #monday night raw #sassin about rasslin #merry mizmas to all and to all a swell rusev night #that was super lame i apologize

[fathersonholygore]

BBC Two’s Peaky Blinders Season 4, Episode 6: “The Company” Directed by David Caffrey Written by Steven Knight

* For a recap & review of the penultimate Season 4 episode, “The Duel” – click here * Season 5 to come next year The big boxing match between Bonnie Gold (Jack Rowan) and Goliath (Dino Kelly) is on. A sold out crowd ready to watch these two men fight it out in the ring. And all around is danger, as Alfie Solomons (Tom Hardy) shows up to meet Tommy Shelby (Cillian Murphy). What’s the Jewish baker decided on? Has he accepted the offer of Luca Changretta (Adrien Brody), or will he choose to aid his friend? He says he’s had a “revelation.” That it’s time to take a rest. Seems he’s resigned to the idea of everything being over at this point. Yet he’s cryptic, more than usual. “It‘s been that way ever since the war, innit? The Americans. Big fucks small.” The fight starts while Arthur (Paul Anderson) rails coke ringside, drinking, cheering on Bonnie. The big man Goliath gives him a good few whallops. The young lad makes it through the round, getting some advice from papa Aberama (Aidan Gillen). Arthur’s feeling antsy, so Tommy is keeping a lid on him. In the ring, Bonnie takes a fine beating. Polly (Helen McCrory) talks in the bathroom with Lizzie (Natasha O’Keeffe) about the pregnancy. Not long and Ada (Sophie Rundle) shows up, she hears of the baby, too. They all have a drink while the men are “screaming for blood.” In the meantime, Pol uses the Gypsy magic touch to figure out Lizzie and Tommy are having a girl. Linda (Kate Phillips) comes in to snort coke, be a bit rude. Quite the family. Bonnie’s waiting it out, trying to last until the fourth round, like Tom suggested. The whole time Arthur knows something isn’t right by the ring. He tells his brother that the men there aren’t even worried about the boxing, they don’t look or move right. Tom passes it off as the coke’s effects. But he shouldn’t be so sure. The ever paranoid eldest Shelby tails one of them when they leave. Sure enough the guy’s gone to get a garrote. He keeps looking for the man, soon Tommy comes looking for his brother. Before he gets there, the man garrotes Arthur who slips a couple fingers in, nearly having them cut off; he passes out. The man’s about to put a bullet in him and Tommy stops it. But is he too late? Yes, sadly, and now Tommy, Pol, they’re scrambling to keep themselves and everyone close to them safe. Poor Linda finds out the news by the ring, falling to pieces. Simultaneously, Bonnie’s put Goliath down for the count, TKO in the centre of the ring. A true David versus Goliath match. When the lads find one of the men involved, they beat him. Finn (Harry Kirton) is ordered to “take his eyes” using their signature blinder caps. And right afterwards, Tommy storms the ring, firing off shots. Nobody moves. Charlie (Ned Dennehy) calms him down, diffusing the situation. Just barely. No telling what kind of hell is about to erupt around Birmingham. Not to mention what sort of madness will go down between Tom and Alfie. All of Small Heath mourns the murder of Arthur Shelby. A volatile yet strangely compassionate man, at times. Although business must go on, too. Pol gets a call from Michael (Finn Cole). She explains he’ll be coming home, what happened. When he gets back he’s told the plan is he goes to New York, on company business. The family’s not doing well, to say the least. In a field, Arthur’s being given the Gypsy send-off. That’s when Audrey Changretta (Brid Brennan) comes, to tell them the “vendetta is won.” They want all of the Shelbys things, everything they own. Or else Luca will kill all the remaining family. Speaking of Luca, he’s gone to see Alfie. We hear more info on the Jew, that he was a Captain in WII. That’s smart thinking. Changretta manages to head off a nasty explosion that Alfie left for anybody coming to barge through his door. So, what’s Tommy going to do about all this now? Let him have it. Not in the rough and tumble way, either. They’re handing over everything. Walking away. I can’t help feeling there’s more to that plan, that they aren’t going to be able to walk away so easily. Or that Tommy’s not willing to just let the death of his brothers slide. Thus, Tom, Pol, Finn, they meet with Luca and his well-armed men. All the papers are there for Tom to sign over everything to the Changretta family. Except the Shelbys are smart. They’ve been talking to people in New York about Luca, the liquor business. They talked to Alphonse Capone himself. Seems that the men behind Changretta have been purchased, they’re not loyal to Luca; only a dollar. Even the guy’s right hand man Matteo (Luca Matteo Zizzari). When Luca breaks out and tries doing the job himself, Tommy beats him brutally. This is when we discover Arthur is NOT DEAD. It was a ruse, to sucker everybody in. Even Linda had to be deceived. And what we wanted to see from the beginning, the eldest Shelby killing Luca, now happens, when Arthur puts a bullet in his face. “Tell your boss what you saw here today, tell him you don‘t fuck with the Peaky Blinders,” he tells the remaining Italians as they leave.

Cause for celebration. Arthur also says he wants Tommy to take time off, to relax. They’ve been fighting enemies for so long, he’s worked so hard, they’ve lost so many. Time to take a vacation. This brings Tom to the beach, where he finds Alfie walking his dog. The Jew goes on about being “riddled with” cancer. He talks and talks, like always. Finally, Tom goes to shoot. He gets Alfie right in the face, taking a bullet to his side. But he gets up and walks off, leaving the dead baker with his dog in the bloody sand. Skip ahead three months. The beautifully haunting “Pyramid Song” by Radiohead plays. Tom Golfs with Finn. He sits by the water, suddenly having a PTSD-like symptom, hearing guns in the woods he tumbles to the ground like they were bombs from the war. Oh, my. Back then it wasn’t even called PTSD, nor was there any help for it. Only booze. He is in rough fucking shape. Almost like he’s right back where he started after coming bac from France in tatters. Difference being he’s a father now. Pol tells him that they live “somewhere between life and death, waiting to move on” and that’s just what their Gypsy blood dictates. Tom: “I know what this is. It‘s just myself talking to myself about myself.”

Down at the shop, Tom returns after his vacation of golf and fishing. Arthur’s glad to have him back. Ready to get moving on whatever’s next. He sends a letter for Jessie Eden (Charlie Murphy), he wants to commit to real change, so they’re set to meet. He wants to meet the people she knows. Is he going to do it for real, or is he intent on doing his part for the British? After Tom gets on a call with this insider in the Communist ranks, he goes to see Arthur Bigge (Donald Sumpter) with the government. He has demands, meant to be run past Mr. Churchill himself. Bigge doesn’t look pleased, but Tom is playing for all the marbles this time. Not to mention he’s on the ballot for the Birmingham South election; Pol, Ada, the lot of them are headed down to vote for Thomas Shelby, Labour Party. Might as well attack from the inside out. He winds up winning, too. Quite a different looking future for the Blinders, no? We’ll see how it goes next year. Season 4 was fantastic, and this new dynamic promises new anxieties for Tom, juggling political life, being a gangster, a family man (who’s having an affair), and his PTSD symptoms. Peaky Blinders – Season 4, Episode 6: “The Company” BBC Two's Peaky Blinders Season 4, Episode 6: "The Company" Directed by David Caffrey…

#Alfie Solomons #Alphonse Capone #Boxing Match #Cillian Murphy #Labour Party #Luca Changretta #Peaky Blinders #Pyramid Song #Vendetta