#so close. that goal will be mine

[fagtainsparklez]

the f1nn5ter post is circulating again which is GREAT bc traffic had notably slowed on it and i was terrified we'd never reach 100k note schlarklez kiss, but it looks like we are Back On Track! 100k note divorce will be real

#icarus speaks #knocking on wood #we r approximately 4k away i think #so close. that goal will be mine

[crowlore]

i remember it used to be a bit of a fandom pet peeve of mine that some people would forget that the gung ho guns and eye of michael were two separate groups with some membership overlap but then stampede came along and made the eom into a project of conrad’s backed by knives. another example of how the reboot feels like bad fanfiction.

#the eom worked best as a predominantly shadowy unknown group most closely tied to wolfwood and LR’s stories #i LIKED that we didn’t know who ran it or what their broader goals were outside of what contact they had with knives/the ghg #extradiagetically nightow just didn’t need to explore the eom in detail. they served their narrative purpose. #but i also find stories that try too hard to ask you bonus questions with overexplained answers to be very lame #so while prestampede it was kinda annoying but ultimately excusable to see ghg/eom used interchangeably #the new show cemented it them as interlinked in a way that actually made the story structure much weaker in an attempt to get ahead of you #this is all very much a critique of mine from the perspective of a writer not just a viewer btw #bad writing isn’t always enough to kill something yk. but plot holes are harder to excuse when your themes and structure are lacking #the manga’s Foundations were just much stronger than the reboot’s if you will #you can turn your brain off with this show and just watch the pretty colors if you want. absolutely no shame in that. we need that stuff #i guess i just struggle to accept a no brainer show like this as being another core leg of the story in the way trimax/98 are bc of it #pretentious of me i know. #stampede critical #for my followers that filter it

[bufomancer]

I know I’ve been talking about downsizing basically forever but things keep happening. But since taking in these emergency rats it has REALLY driven home that I *need* to be much further from my capacity limit.

I am not rehoming any of *my* animals, but I am doubling down on my efforts to increase my number of outside fosters so that there’s fewer fosters at my house, and will be keeping much fewer permanent animals going forward.

I am not planning to have any forever rats (except sanctuary rats) going forward, or forever mice. Once my current ones pass I will not be getting anymore. I have 9 gerbils through various circumstances but my limit is going to be 4. I have 3 hamsters & will be setting a limit of 1-2 going forward. I am planning to have no more than 6-7 permanent rodent enclosures (currently I have 14, so I will be halving my numbers essential, as they slowly pass of old age.

Before I ended up with these emergency rats I was doing just fine, not quite at my limit but getting close, and now I am over my limit and not sure when that’ll change. I’m managing, but since I never know when the next emergency will happen I need to maintain more open space and more bandwidth.

#it’s going to take me a WHILE to get down to these numbers- and they’re flexible #so like #i don’t anticipate having more than 1 hamster at a time after my current 3 #until i am down to fewer than 4 gerbil cages (goal is 2 gerbil cages) #which will take a while because gerbils live a lot longer and mine are all healthy and all but two are only middle aged #etc #the rats most of mine are older but I’ll have 3 of them for at least another year or two #and so on #but yeah.. this has been a wake up call for me that i’ve been playing too close to my limits and it’s not sustainable #i am managing right now- and i am NOT taking more intakes into my home for the foreseeable future- but i need to give myself wiggle room

[wayfinderships]

AUUUUUUGH! I miss my little guy your honor!! I miss him so damn much!!!

#pan rambles #I've been listening to some songs and AUGH... #Sorry for bringing up the original story me and 2 close pals of mine have made again but AUGH #I MISS MY LITTLE GUYYYY #The way that despite everything he stays kind... #How being the Hero and Saving the World is cool and all #but what his real motivation for starting his journey is wanting to create a world that was safe for his family #How deeply he cares about his younger siblings and mother and how being apart from them hurts from time to time #How in one ending he achieves his goal of creating a safe world for his family #at the cost of watching all the friends he met across his journey die #He won and was called a hero but at the cost at becoming a shell of his former self #How his mother and siblings saw him leave with a smile on his face and coming back with a dead look in his eyes. How he looked so exhausted #How in another ending he achieves the same goal and even creates a world where the Villain got to live a better life #but this time at the cost of his life and memories. Specifically everyone's memories of him- #He got what he wanted and no one will remember him #And then there's the good ending <3 #Anyways yeah sorry I just needed to ramble a bit about my little guy-afksnfkdn He's so special to me <3 #no amount of s/i angst will ever top what I've made my little guy go through

[tinylittlebab]

ill be skinny. it will happen. ive been trying for so long now. once it was just trying to eat less and be smaller but not much real focus on my physical appearance. now its all about that. 11 years of my ed and 7 years of wanting what i want now. i dont live with my parents anymore. i have more control. i will achieve it.

there was a time where id eat 300-700 consistently. ill get that back. i will.

#most of the years ive had an ed i had no access to a scale so it was very jard to track progress #maybe i did lie my ass off and fool ppl around me into thinking its actually healthier for me to have a scale bc ill restrict worse without #one which is half true. not that kts anyones right to make that choice at this point. at least not in 2 months when im 18 its not #part of the problem im having is i wanna be small but i have so little muscle that ill have to be very dangerously underweight to look even #close to how i want. many peoples ugws are under that line. mine was once. before i learned that its genuinely very very dangerous #and a lot of the people who look the way i wanna look are only just below that line which is where id like to be #they look that way bc they have more muscle. most ppl cant maintain a bmi of 14 or less for that long. eventually your body freaks out #ppl use instances like eugenia coonie as proof that you can actually do it but like. most peoples bodies wont hold out that long #and many of the ppl in thinspo pics eother only maintained it for a short bit before gaining or getting really sick or they weighed more #and had more muscle. and like. my goal isnt to be all bone. i dont wanna push it that far. bony people arent physically nice to hold anyway #i just wanna be light enough that somwone cpuld carry me and people might view me in a certain way #i wanna be seen as cute and fragile and shy and like. young and sweet. ots hard to explain exactly what i want peopel see see me like but i #want when people look at pictures or videos of me for them to think i look sweet and wanna be gantle and nice to me #and when i walk around places instead of seeing an awkward weirdo they see a timid cute girl whos really tiny and pretty #i know ill never be that but. maybe if i lose enough weight and dont have much acne and leave my hair down then maybe i can come close

[caffeinatedopossum]

I'm still grieving the dreams I lost due to my disability and I just added another one

#ones id already lost: wanting to hold any job at all. wanting to be a doctor. wanting to be a gymnast. wanting to play bass #wanting to be a therapist (maybe still possible? this is due to my inability to hold any job but im still hopeful i may be able to do this) #i wanted to go to school... i can still learn things of course but its harder and there's no community #i wanted to learn everything. everything about plants and animals and quantum mechanics and languages #everything about history and culture and sciences. but i can't. i mean that was never a realistic goal of course #but I cant get as close to it now as i wouldve if i was healthy #the one i recently added is discovering my fingers have deteriorated so much that playing keyboard is nearly impossible #thats been a lifelong dream of mine... even drawing hurts unless i draw with my finger. i cant hold a pencil without pain #like im figuring things out. working through accommodations and making new goals #but that grief is still there and the wound is still fresh and sometimes it just feels like its growing and it will never stop #i need too much that i cant have. I have so few options #i really dont know what kind of future there is for me if my pain and disability is already this bad in my 20s

[annieisyourfavourite]

last time stealing from work and fellas i'm making the most of it by leaving with multiple tote bags and a full backpack

#mine #fuck work #professional theatre life #big day for people who enjoy stealing (me) #well. we're closing the company and we have been given. #exactly Zero instruction on what to strike and where anything goes #and like. kind of no one is in charge anymore??? #so shit like aluminum foil and lysol wipes and huge boxes of splenda? #yeah baby that shit is expensive. so it is mine now #also sad my job is ending but literally my only goal today is to steal

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

.

#i have to convince one dr to get me a surgery so another dr can line me up for an actual surgery i desperately need #and they want me to wat 6 monthes #not because of any reason except im 5 pounds short of my goal #and have to wait a certain length of time from.his first surgery #its been anyear since his first procedure #and its not a vainity thing #i really need this second one when the opportunity arrises #organs are hard to come by #first come first serve kind of deal #and i could miss mine because of these rules #trying not to cry #but im so tired of fighting it some days #but im gonna keep trying #gonna keep pushing #its so fucking close #the will to live and do more then just exisisting is still there #gotta protect that little flame from going out #venting and processing my situation here because its gotta come out somewhere #and breaking down on my family is not something they can handle

[todayisafridaynight]

there really is nothing funnier than comparin mine and akiyama to each other and i only do so because the fact rgg made a super-rich character who kills himself because he realized money alone couldn’t make him happy by jumping off a building only to IMMEDIATELY- i’m talking we meet the dude five minutes into Y4- make another super-rich character who’s charitable and owns a moneylending company called fucking sky finance whose life was saved by money is pure comedy

#snap chats #the best joke ever is akiyama's company being called /sky finance/ #like alright. bit on the nose there huh LMAO #'fly high' or whatever LMAOOOO #like they also maybe have similarly colored suits?? if i wanna stretch it ?? #mine's suit is like a deep mauve while akiyama- depending on the lighting- is more of a maroon #they're both on the red spectrum leave me alone but the way their suits are in contrast too: mine's is closed while akiyama's is open #black dress shirts as well #hell they even have a gold neck piece: mine's tie and akiyama's necklace #then everything after that is just. so different #akiyama willingly gives away money not for any other reason other than he knows people could use it #mine doesn't mind giving money away but only if it can help his own goals #akiyama has long hair and an unshaven face while mine has short hair and a clean face #the fact we get to see both of their secretaries too is funny and theyre Also absolute contrasts to each other #also pissing myself as i just realized the '4' key shares the '$' symbol. enough we get it #i feel like i could go on forever but i'll be here all day #just know i laugh at this thought at least once a day

[altruistic-meme]

also i love how im tracking my daily word counts in like 4 different locations ots so funny to me. i really said "the more places i write it down, the more likely I'll remember to write it down"

#on the nano site on my fridge in a google doc AND in milos excel sheet #IN MY DEFENSE THEY HAVE THEIR PURPOSES #on my fridge is so i can have a visual daily reminder to update things and write if i haven't #and its a good place to have it all visible in one go #plus it has all the info with my daily goal all my total goals for the month and it has info on which doc i worked on #my google doc has word counts specific to the doc and not the total word count #(so itd have 2 different counts if i worked on 2 different fics) #as well as my favorite lines ive written this month! #milos excel sheet has mine and some other peoples daily words which is cool to see how we're all doing!!! #as well as a percentage to how close we are to our end goals and a fraph as well :) #and then nano has the least use but I'm still updating it there for fun #shh ac

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

#usually i like to think i am extremely well adjusted to what my health entails. usually lmao. #but specifically cancer sometimes feels like a goddamn anchor lmao. #stomach cancers are not even close to the only ones that could potentially go on for a lifetime w treatment #depending on situation. like this is a far more normal situation than ppl really realize i think. #i hadnt realized it before i was adjusting goal posts from 'cured' to '5yr mark' at least lol. #this is not bad. this could be signficiantly worse. this is not a bad situation all things considered. #but like sometimes i wonder what its like to be like. healthy lmao. #&when things dip its like. if this is a perma-up trajectory as far as difficulty goes it feels kind of. unfair that mine started #where it did&its just like. never gonna plateau lmao. #i question my fortitude sometimes. idk its been a long day&i havent burned thru the Bad mania yet lmao. #ill get high&itll be easier to see that w/o the pain lmao. #med change ups are never fun this one just happened at an unfortunate time in general probably. #i miss my dog. i miss all my dogs. i would have lost my mind w/o roxy lmao. #at least this time i can give him proper rites; i couldnt for yoshi or johnny. so ive been doing a full mourning period. #it hasn't put me in like. the most optimistic light as of late lol. #its weird. im being such a fucking baby about all of this lmao. #but like i also wasnt expecting unconditional love to be almost exclusive to my dogs #or for the ups&downs to still be so dramatic after all these years of figuring out treatments lmao.

[lemememeringue]

got a lil treat for being brave and leaving the house . love a lil treat for being brave and leaving the house 💜

#mine #lem experiences cognitive behavioural torture #big sis and I both had the day off and it was warm enough w almost no sun so I asked her to scope out the cafe w me #most shops are closed bc holidays but the goal was just to find the location #and then we got some lil treats. big sis got some expensive tea leaves and a soda. I got some local salted caramel ice cream #the walk wasn't terrible but oh boy the NOISE #lots of stimuli. I took off my glasses just to see less #I was walking behind big sis so I was still safe #I'm tired now #I'm surprised my legs aren't sore given how little incline exercise I normally do. fuck hills man. #one small step for lem

[ourtermporarybrilliance]

You'll never find a bitch more obsessed with catholic imagery than a former catholic, bonus if Italian.

It's me I'm the former catholic. And I'm Italian, a southerner even.

#me sitting arms crossed being like it's not fair how pretty everything catholic is #cathedrals ? house goals if you ask me #mater dolorosa ? so pretty it hurts #anything pertaining the via crucis ? tragically beautiful #ex votos and priests' paraphernalia ? the artistry is INSANE #the role of judas ? fascinating #and this is just scratching the surface... i am truly interested in the bible's content #i find it fascinating from an anthropological point of view #i might be atheist but i do recognize the book's importance #and its being a testament (eheh) of men's need to find explainations to life and ...stuff #mythology has ALWAYS fascinated me and that one of the reasons i loved studying latin and ancient greek in highschool #getting close to the classics and their research on humanity and its coming to be and its natural laws etc... #so yeah #i am reading the bible even if I'm atheist because i find myths to be fascinating #but i also (affectionately) resent my former creed for having such interesting imagery that i cannot define ''mine'' anymore ueue #ramblings

[seekerstone]

yesterday i was literally dragging myself along by my fingertips sobbing the whole time abt how i didn’t want to write and it was too hard & then today had the errant thought that all i had to do to be done with nano was write the remaining 13k

…so i’m sitting at 2k already logged today and i’m planning on writing at LEAST a thousand more words tonight. ideally as many as, say, 4.3k more. just hypothetically. maybe another 6.3k tomorrow to bring my total up to 12.6k in two days. my monthly total up to 50k. who’s to say, really

#the moon speaks #writing shit #never underestimate my ability to churn out words once i have a goal in mind #such as finally getting the freedom to write silly little aus again #only 10.6k left to go why i could practically do that all tonight #next year.. next year will be easier bc i can start on the sequel instead #turns out ''finishing'' a book for nano is way harder than ''starting'' it #at this point i basically ONLY have the mystery scenes and the really fucking hard ones i don’t want to write #o how i long for the days when i had chapters upon chapters to fill at my leisure #i think for the year after next i’ll just do a fic probably. maybe a few. go more for the daily word count and productive than the #traditional novel writing goal. ofc that means i gotta finish zenith2 on my own time but i’m sure i can do that #hehe… #ANYWAY . i’m so close and then i can write crack taken seriously octavia pov ship fics again #how i’ve missed you my dears #no but actually the funniest part is bc i want all the badges i’m gonna have to keep writing even past 50k #so i can get that updated all 30 days badge. you will be mine completionist achievement #it’s fine though i’ve decided au fic words will count towards that as long as they’re zenith (i don’t write anything else)

[mystical-cinnamoon]

nobody knows me how i want to be known

#both perception wise and otherwise #idk i don't even know myself and even my close friends don't feel really close #i see people talking about their close friends and i'm like #“damn. thats way different from how i am with my friends” #and they're talking abt a friend group like 2x the size of mine #i just wish i was better at socializing and communicating #i have so many goals socially but i have no idea how to achieve them #i want to be close with someone the way best friends in movies are #i want someone to know everything they can know about me and i want to know about them #i want to be comfortable with telling them everything #but i just cant do it #also if you're one of my irl friends hi! i was expecting you to see this (you know who you are) #i'm not like. mad at you or anything #just frustrated with the limits of my abilities and knowledge #this is not about you #love ya <3

[neonseaslugs]

FINISHED THE CATALOG

#monumental day #this is the first catalog ive finished #i got so close to completing the past ones #like i think the lowest i ever ended on was in the 70s #(i could be lying i really dont remember) #but yeah since it was during the summer i pushed myself to finish it and slay i did #oh i also hit 300 hours! tis was another goal of mine over the summer #(for reference ive had splatoon 2 probably since it came out but i didnt fully get into it until 2021 since thats when i got my own switch #and even with that i only have 130 hours) #(so;; 300 is big for me) #oh also dont think i didnt love splat2 im still obsessed or i guess i really just appreciate it and love the amount of stuff #OH ALSO SQUID BEATZ #IM STILL NOT OVER IT #SO WHAT TABLETURF IS THERE THATS A CARD GAME I NEED MY RHYTHM GAME!! #um ill stop rambling now #splatoon 3 #splatoon #sizzle season 2023 #(god i cant believe i have to label the year #come up with more adjectives srl)