#so i 1 finally am listening to it on spotify and 2 found a decent boot and me and my mum are gonna watch it tomorrow night

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Smoke&Mirrors - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here.

Let’s start from the beginning:

Imagine Dragons - Smoke and Mirrors

Okay, so with Stuck in reverse series everything started with one song that inspired me to write something, and you know what happened later.

With this new series, the idea came first (prompted by @vaneilla​’s wonderful brain, and you know what? I actually went back to check that bit of convo, and it was all because @gallifreyan-uprising​ did what she did to TP, so I guess thank you both, ladies!), and then I was looking for THE song, that could serve as an inspiration and as a title.

And because all my best ideas come to me while driving, and I had Imagine Dragons in my car’s CD player… BOOM.

//I'm starting to cave

I'm losing my flame

I wanted your truth

But I wanted the pain

To disappear

Dream maker, life taker

Open up my mind

All I believe

Is it a dream

That comes crashing down on me?

All that I hope

Is it just smoke and mirrors?

I want to believe

But all that I know

Is it just smoke and mirrors?//

This just felt so fitting for Reader and her struggle a little later in the series, and smoke and mirrors alone seemed like just what I needed to capture the essence of the main conflict between Neil and R.

Chapter 1: Imagine Dragons - Natural

I had the title, I knew what I wanted to do in the first chapter, but I still had doubts if I could switch to this new dynamic. -Neil being mean? I mean how even-- I needed a good playlist to get myself in the right mood to set the tone for the whole series, and even when I found a few songs that were good enough, I knew that none of them was the one. And then again, on my way to work, this time from my Spotify playlist - Natural. I literally started screaming when I realized that it was exactly what I’d been looking for. Not only because of its badass vibe, but those lyrics, holy shit -

//That's the price you pay

Leave behind your heart and cast away

Just another product of today

Rather be the hunter than the prey

And you're standing on the edge face up

'Cause you're a natural

A beating heart of stone

You gotta be so cold

To make it in this world

Yeah, you're a natural

Living your life cutthroat

You gotta be so cold

Yeah, you're a natural//

This is R.  “A beating heart of stone / You gotta be so cold / To make it in this world”. Because she might be all spiky and angry on the outside, but why is she that way? Because she has to. Because nothing ever came easy in her life.

And this is Neil, too. A true natural, as TP calls him. But he also plays a role, because he was put in a position he didn’t want. And not only by TP, but also by R. That scene in the bar? He really hopes to clear the air between them, but she is not ready to listen, and keeps antagonizing him. *sigh* We know how it ends up. Anyway -

bonus: Willyecho - Welcome to the fire

Found this one when I was looking for the vibe, and then those lyrics--:

//I'm focused

I've been watching for the omens

I've been listening to everything you've said

Its been running through my head

Locked and loaded

I've got the feeling that you've noticed

Yeah I've only just begun

I won't stop until it's done

'Til you're broken

So welcome to the fire

I'm the one who lit the night up//

-- because yes, R’s that mad at him, TP, the whole world at this point, really.

Chapter 2: Florence + the Machine - What kind of man

So you know, one of the challenges I’d set for myself for this series was to finally write a proper smut. God, was I stressed out (shoutout to my lovely friends who had to listen to my self-doubting whines for quite some time). And as I knew it was supposed to happen in this chapter, and I already had an appropriate build-up in mind, I needed a song. And it wasn’t this one, although it made its way to the chapter’s playlist. But as I actually wrote the whole thing down… I felt it had that vibe.

//You were on the other side, like always

You could never make you mine//

Oh R, my sweet summer child.

//To let me dangle at a cruel angle

Oh, my feet don't touch the floor

Sometimes you're half in and then you're half out

But you never close the door

What kind of man loves like this?//

And that part is just so fitting with the whole confusion.

bonus: Graffiti Ghosts - Last man standing

The one behind the shooting range sequence:

//Your trigger finger better think about your future

You’re getting twisted thinking I don’t want to shoot ya

I’ve been waiting for a long time

and I’m coming back to get what’s mine

Sick of living with your little double faces

I’m getting itchy and so livid I can taste it

I’ve been waiting for a long time

and I’m swinging til I get what’s mine

but I’m not going down

I’m not going down//

Can’t say that R isn’t fantasizing about shooting Neil at some point, it’s all I’m saying. And the vibe was all right, and worked for the sparring scene as well.

bonus:  Zayde Wolf - New Blood

I needed decent background music to write that sparring scene, you know - to hype myself up. And then found this song. Look at the lyrics:

//I spent my whole life chained to the wall

Hunger for more, not afraid to fall

Had to cut a man down to get where I am

But someone had to tumble, and someone had to stand

Don't try to fight, nothin' you can do

I'm gonna run all over you

It's too late to try, there's nothin' you can do

I'm gonna run all over you//

and

//Most of my life was heavy and hard, yeah

So many days, so many scars

But it was all of those years who make who I am, yeah

But I broke through, and here I stand, yeah//

Added to the playlist instantly. You can see it too, right?

bonus: Nothing But Thieves - Itch

I love this band and I’m eternally grateful that my dear friend @connie-nikas​ itroduced me to their music. Spotify suggested that it fit the mood for the playlist I already had for that part, so I checked the lyrics and YES:

//There's a hunger in my heart

It's full of promise, promise

There's an itch under my skin

It's under my skin, under my skin//

...

//There's a blood red on my shirt

And it's shining, shining

There's a sharp pain from my face

I kinda like it, I like it//

...

//I just wanna love

I just wanna touch

I just wanna see

'Cause I, I just wanna feel something real

'Cause I, I just wanna feel something real

Wanna feel something//

It fits more than one moment in the series, but that blood part seemed accurate for sparring, so it stayed in this chapter.

bonus: Dorothy - Wicked ones

Another Spotify suggestion, and it works pretty well for these dumbasses, although this part:

//This night ain't for the faint of heart

For the faint of heart, for the faint of heart

This night ain't for the faint of heart

'Cause the faint of heart gonna fall apart//

--this got me going while I was having heart palpitations as I was getting closer to the locker scene lol.

And then:

//Ain't no sleep when the wicked play

All we do is get laid, uuh uh uuh uuh

Ain't no love when the wicked run

All we do is try to lay off, lay off, lay off

We're the wicked ones, wicked ones//

Fits, right?

bonus: Muse - Undisclosed desires

I -blame- have to thank M for this one, and it was my initial title song for this part. Just see for yourselves:

//I know you've suffered

But I don't want you to hide

It's cold and loveless

I won't let you be denied

Soothing, I'll make you feel pure

Trust me, you can be sure

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart

I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask

I want to exorcise the demons from your past

I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

You trick your lovers

That you're wicked and divine

You may be a sinner

But your innocence is mine

Please me, show me how it's done

Tease me, you are the one//

It just -- it’s not only about that one scene. Maybe it would be even better for part 3? Anyway, could be sung to R almost word for word, right?

Chapter 3: Nothing But Thieves - You know me too well

One of my favourites from this band, and I knew it had to be a title of some part of the story. Because:

//I gave you a call

Baby, I could come by, help forget it all

'Cause in this sticky weather, oh, it's really hard to sleep

As you know all too well

And when we dig together, oh, you make me feel so cheap

But I can't help myself

Filthy impetuous soul

I wanna give it to you

Oh, just to see what you do

'Cause I'm so drunk on you

Baby, you're all that I want

I want you all to myself

Oh, but you know me too well//

So yeah, filthy impetuous soul was only fair to use for that bathroom, right?

//And maybe you're right

We don't get on so well, when we lose the high//

That’s them at this point, all right.

//'Cause every love story always end in tragedy

If you wait long enough//

Oh hello, R’s beliefs here, clear as night.

//Renew me 'cause sometimes I forget

Got my own two hands clenched around my neck//

Could be said by both of them at this point, tbh.

bonus: Leann Rimes - Can’t fight the moonlight

So let me be frank - I knew I wanted to put that bathroom scene somewhere for quite some time, so it’s written purely for self-indulgence. I just needed to find an opportunity. And during one of the brainstorming sessions with A (because she was so kind to help me out with figuring things out when I stumbled over certain plot points, and I can’t thank her enough), the idea of karaoke night came to life and she gave me this song and fuck yes! That was it!  

One of my favourite Neil headcanons is that he likes cheesy songs, and Coyote Ugly movie has a special place in my heart, so I just knew it was the one for him! Especially because:

//Under the lovers sky

Gonna be with you

And no one's gonna be around

If you think that you won't fall

Well just wait until

'Til the sun goes down//

it’s just perfect if you wanna kinda seduce/kinda embarrass someone, right? And also:

//You can try to resist

Try to hide from my kiss

Don't you know, don't you know

That you, can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark, you'll surrender your heart//

Because yes, he wanted to kiss her in that locker room, that’s a thing you do when you’re attracted to someone, right? He thought it was just because of this whole angry sex thing, but was aware of that all the time, that’s why R’s reaction in the bathroom alarms him. I mean it would make him stop anyway, but still.

bonus: Ruelle - Until we go down

The mood progression in this song fried my brain, absolutely amazing!

The lyrics, too:

//And I feel it running through my veins

And I need that fire just to know that I'm awake

Erased, I missed till the break of day

And I need that fire just to know that I'm awake

Until we go down//

bonus: Bishop Briggs - Wild horses

Another song that captures the spirit of what’s going on in R’s head.

//You hold me down in the best way

No quarter from these chains that I've

Slept on my heart for a feeling

Why can't I let my demons out?

Keep screaming into the pillow

Cause your taste still gets me stupid high

Oh glory, I'm a believer

Oh glory, I'm a troubler//

At this point, she’s well aware of the effect Neil has on her, and the internal conflict is strong in this one.

//You call my truth in the worst way

Through the dirty lands of a broken smile

And I swear I'm not a pretender

Sometimes it's love who's the baby's cry

So, I keep on damning the devil

And you keep on saying it's alright

Oh glory, I'm a believer

Oh Lord, I'm holding tight, but//

And the whole vibe of this song, it’s like fuck I’m losing my mind, but I want you and I want you now. Just makes my breath hitch.

bonus: Transviolet - Bloodstream

And as I needed a certain mood, -(ended up actually writing with TENDER in the background because apparently I need a complete opposite mood seeping through my headphones to write any smut at all but anyway...)-, and this song is just...wow.

//Fingertips drip down my spine

Cruel desire, danger in our consequence

You look my way and I lose my…

Hey, you wanna rule the world?

Outlaw love, make you lose control

Hey, hey, boy you got me like whoa

White hot, adrenaline baby

In my veins, you got me praying

Whoa, whoa, whoaaaa

My pretty blue lips begging

Take me, I need you in my bloodstream

Hold me, break me

My breath is for holding, overdose me

I need you in my bloodstream

Hold me, break me, break me//

Hot. I won’t be taking any notes.

Chapter 4: Aimee Mann - Save me

You remember that part 4 was supposed to be the last one? Don’t ask me, I don’t know how I would manage to get that emotional progression from these dumbasses by the end of that part, so I’m glad y’all voted on splitting it into 2 (and then another 2) parts. But I already had a playlist for the finale, and then had to make a new one, and then had too many possible title songs.

Why did this one win? Because in my brain it’s directly connected to my OTP and also fits this part of the story. I battled myself if it was a spoiler or not (and also had trouble getting to terms with R ever admitting that she needs to be saved), but then thought - eh, what the hell, it has the right lyrics and a proper mood, and here it is.

//You look like a perfect fit

For a girl in need of a tourniquet

But can you save me

Come on and save me

If you could save me

From the ranks of the freaks

Who suspect they could never love anyone//

and that shift to this part, oh my heart:

//Except the freaks

Who suspect they could never love anyone

Except the freaks who could never love anyone.//

bonus: Jamie O'Neal - All by myself

Okay, so the car scene was in my mind for a little while, and in the initial outline, aka part 4 is the finale I couldn't find a place for it and thought I might end up making a one shot out of it, so when I actually had enough time to write it into the story, I was so excited!

I was looking for a song, and the first one that came to my mind was Air Supply - All out of love, but I could never beat what Jensen Ackles did in the outtakes of that one Supernatural episode, so I had to abandon that song, sadly. And then I thought about the one with basically the same vibe and *ding ding ding*.  And of course Neil would know it. And would know what movie this is from (just look at him and try telling me he doesn’t like British rom-coms, I dare you). And would tease R about it. (and that’s why I used that cover of this song).

//Hard to be sure

Sometimes I feel so insecure

And loves so distant and obscure

Remains the cure

All by myself

Don't wanna be

All by myself

Anymore//

bonus: Meg Myers - Motel

I’ve discovered Meg’s music just because of Spotify’s recommendations, and oh my god, it’s amazing! And this song just felt right for their talk during the stakeout, just look at the lyrics:

//You're weak, broken in a motel

You blink, tears are falling down, down, down

And you're free, free inside your own hell

You speak, someone let me out, out, out

And I can't stop this pain, it only grows

Tell me why I always feel alone

And I can't fight this feeling anymore

Show me what I'm really living for

I wanna love, wanna live, wanna breath, wanna give

But it's hard and it's dark and we're doomed from the start

I wanna love, wanna live, wanna breathe, wanna give

But it's hard and it's dark and I'm falling apart//

ahh, nothing like a good old angst, am I right? Perfect for writing about the more vulnerable sides of them.

bonus: Fear Of Men - Sane

There is just something in this song that resonates deeply, you know?

//I see you drowning

Half flesh half stone

With ambitions that drain your health

You hear me

(Secrets)

You run from me

You hear me

(You hear me)

I know

You hear me

(Secrets)

You run from me

You hear me

(You hear me)

You know, you know, you know

It’s in your eyes when you’re perfectly sane

It’s in your blood when you can’t bear these heavy thoughts again

It’s in your eyes when you’re perfectly sane

It’s in your blood when you can’t bear these heavy thoughts again//

bonus: Laura Doggett - Beautiful undone

That track almost ended up as the title. When I stumbled upon this song, I was completely blown away, as in I-had-it-on-repeat-for-4h-straight blown away.

//I took you walking

Through the murmurations of my mind//

that line just strikes me right through the heart, and it gets even better later:

//I'm looking down and my heart's connected

I'm feeling love from a different view

We learn the most when we least expect it

We learn the most when we break in two//

I don’t think that any of them expects to learn more about each other during that one mission. I mean sure, Neil counts on it, but doesn’t know what it's gonna be. And if she lets him into his head at all.

//You know you're beautiful undone

(Shine on)

So beautiful undone

You look beautiful undone

(Hearts connected)

My boy of blue.//

My boy of blue. I don’t know why it screamed Neil to me, but it did.

//It's the cracks that let the light shine

It's the cracks that let the light shine through.//

And that’s exactly it.

Chapter 5: LAUREL - Blue blood

Okay, THIS song, as soon as I heard it, I was like - this is it, this is her.

//You woke me up for your blue blood

Made me come undone

Can't believe you've been here the whole time

Too nice to pass you by and I can't believe

You've been here the whole time

You made me feel again

Made me dance circles 'round the pieces of your heart

You made me feel again

After the last time, didn't think that I could love//

That “was he always so gorgeous” moment, right? When she just sees him for the first time this way. And is slowly coming to terms with her feelings.

bonus: Prep School - Come as you are

So this one… We all know the original song (or this is my old ass talking), but only when I heard this cover, I really felt it, you know?

//Come as you are, as you were

As I want you to be

As a friend, as a friend

As an old enemy//

Just made me think about R being ready to get to know Neil better. About the shift in their dynamic.

//When I swear that I don't have a gun

No I don't have a gun//

She lets her guard down, and is ready to trust him.

Also - how great is the mood of this song? That crescendo just takes my breath away, and that calmer moment at the end? Good god. Utter perfection.

bonus: Ray LaMontagne - Such a simple thing

I’ve been sitting on this song for quite some time, and just had to find a suitable moment for it. And this was it.

//Tell me what you're feeling

I can take the pain

Tell me that you mean it

That you won't leave again

Tell me what your heart wants

Such a simple thing

My heart is like paper

Yours is like a flame

I can't make you see

If you don't by now

I'll get through these chains

Some how, some how

Take it if you want it

I'm so tired I just don't care

Can't you see how much you hurt me?

It's like I wasn't there//

My heart just aches while I listen to this song. It’s so tender, and yet so heartbreaking.

bonus: Keane - Hamburg sing

When A sent me this song, god, the way I screamed. Because this is so Neil.

//I don't wanna be adored

Don't wanna be first in line

Or make myself heard

I'd like to bring a little light

To shine a light on your life

To make you feel loved

No, I don't wanna be the only one you know

I want to be the place you call home

I lay myself down to make it so

But you don't want to know

I give much more than I'd ever ask for

Will you see me in the end

Or is it just a waste of time?

Trying to be your friend?

Just shine, shine, shine

Shine a little light

Shine a light on my life

And warm me up again//

At this point in the story, he already fell for her hard. And can just hope that she sees him at one point, too.

You know, writing that first really intimate moment between them-- I know I was supposed to be on R’s side, but I knew what was going on in Neil’s head at that point (that’s why I was so happy when Chels asked that one question that made me write Come as you are) and... I don’t know, I’m so soft for this idiot, I just want to hug him.

//Fool, I wonder if you know yourself at all

You know that it could be so simple//

My dumbasses.

Chapter 6: Phantogram - You’re mine

We’re gonna save this one for the very end, just mentioning it here as we move to the next chapter.

bonus: Adna - Night

You know that sad music montage thing that the movies do after a breakup scene or something? This song has that exact vibe.

//Silence grows and you're all i know

Eyes are closed, I'll see your smile, your love

Thinking

This is what

It could be

Knowing

It is all

It would be

In the night

When you see

What i see

In the night when you feel

What i mean

You're my knight

And my dream

And my only sight

Oh you

Oh you

Stay true//

For me, it’s the beginning of chapter 6. R is almost heartbroken, and that almost comes from the part of her that still thinks that still fights the idea that she might have any feelings for that blonde idiot. Conceal, don't feel, or something. But she’s being haunted by random memories from their time together.

bonus: Snow Patrol - Make this go on forever

This song makes my heart ache and clench and oh my god--

//Please don't let this turn into something it's not

I can only give you everything I've got

I can't be as sorry as you think I should

But I still love you more than anyone else could

All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight

Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right

This splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long

Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong//

This works for the sad montage thing I’ve mentioned, but it was all about this line:

//First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything//

I was listening to it on my way home one day and my eyes welled up. Because that’s what I wanted both of them to feel right then.

//And I don't know where to look

My words just break and melt

Please just save me from this darkness//

and these lines just brought the image of Neil stumbling over his words and, well, that was it. I knew it had to be done like that.

bonus: Walking On Cars - Speeding Cars

This song is about something different, but there is one part that resonated with the story:

//Even the half smile would have slowed down the time

If I could call you half mine

Maybe this is the safest way to go//

Just fits. Had to be there.

bonus: Etham - Before I lose my mind - Stripped

I think I found this one a while ago, and then it came on when I had Spotify on shuffle, and oh myyyy goooood. That heart-wrenching yearning? So, so on point.

//Look at the state I'm in

I couldn’t say where I've been

Lord knows that it ain't felt like home//

This is as much R’s song, as it is Neil’s.

//I don't know what

I've been running from, running from

Or what I thought I would find

All I know is

You're the only one, only one

I need you tonight

Before I lose my mind//

and this part:

//Don't tell me that I’m too late this time

So much I couldn’t see

With words that I didn't speak

What do I have to do to make you mine?//

This part of the playlist is just utter heartbreak and yearning, but it was only fitting. Just moments before the confession.

bonus: Nick Wilson - Let me hold you

On repeat for the whole part with Neil’s confession. This song is so goddamn beautiful, I can’t--.

//We've been there before

Reaching the end but forgetting the reason we started this for

In all of our flaws

Laid out beneath us, there's no need to keep building up these walls

(Oh we can't go on)

Just let me hold you

I'll run my fingers through your hair

Let our ghost loose

Let me know that you're still there//

bonus: Liz Longley - Rescue my heart

This, on the other hand, started playing right after, and I partially blame it for R’s breakdown. I was just staring at that line about her being afraid to lose him and I was like “where the hell this came from, girl?” and then, as I was trying to push them both further into the plot, but they kinda refused to let each other go, so I was sitting there like “you guys really needed that, huh?”

I know what it sounds like. But when I spend so much time with my characters, really fleshing them out in every possible way, they kinda develop minds of their own, and later they guide me through the dialogue parts, and even sometimes ruin my initial plans. Because they know best how they would behave right then. So all I have to do is just follow them. Or try reasoning with them. (Had a moment like that at the end of the first scene in chapter 6, like had this feeling that R just wanted to dwell on the nature of her relationship with Ives, but I didn’t want to put it there so openly, I was happy with leaving a line here and there, so I had to put my foot down pff - and it switched into that bit about friendships in general)

Right, back to the song:

//Lying to myself I can make it on my own

Making it alone is lonely

Twisting and I'm turning

Oh I'm crashing and I'm burning

So reach out your hand to me

Come down

Rescue my heart I'll drown

Without you//

This is it.

bonus: Madonna - I want you

You know, one of my favourite parts of the writing process is just bumping the ideas around, and I have been blessed to have a wonderful friend such as M, who’s always there when I need to discuss different ideas or just got a bit of dialogue I really want to share. And knowing what I was writing, she sent me this song.

And I’ve been listening to it a lot ever since, and when Neil started his confession, and struggled with words, I wrote: "I want…you.” He moved closer. “The right way.”

I stopped, staring at that line, like really, Neil? This is it? Then the next song from the playlist started playing and:

//I want you the right way

I want you, but I want you to want me too//

So I just sighed and moved on, dropping a short message to M on the way.

bonus: Welshly Arms - Need you tonight

Spotify recommends the best covers, hands down. I love the original song, but this right here? It’s everything.

//How do you feel

I'm lonely

What do you think

Can't take it all

What ya gonna do

Gonna live my life

So slide over here

And give me a moment

Your moves are so raw

I've got to let you know

I've got to let you know

You're one of my kind

I need you tonight

'Cause I'm not sleeping

There's something about you girl

That makes me sweat//

bonus: TENDER - Afternoon

Every song of theirs is just incredibly sensual, so I thought it was only fair to include one of those for the scene (thank you again A, their music is everything, I swear). And this one was particularly accurate:

//I'm spendin' all of my time tryna open up

Let it breathe, let it breathe

It all comes down

To whether you love me anymore

God, I hope you do

'Cause I can't tell, I can't tell

By the look in your eyes//

bonus: Layla - Weightless

Another one for that moment.

//A silver whisper, take flight and steal into my mouth

An urge to kiss you and let this secret pleasure out

Your touch so tender, a helpless roar of golden play

This youthful slender, hallucinate my woes away

We are weightless

We are invincible

Nothin' like this

Flyin' like cannonballs//

bonus: Rob Simonsen - Soft center

While I was discussing the main plot points with A, we knew there had to be a morning after scene, and she had just a song for it. Utter perfection.

end credits: Phantogram - You’re mine

I know I say it a lot, but when A sent it to me… The way I screamed. I couldn’t believe it. The story was already like 2 parts in, I think? And this song...every line was about them. Every. Goddamn. One. And the overall  I just thought to myself “oh, end credits rolling right here.”

//You don't talk to no one

Don't you look at nothing

Focus on me

Look into my eyes

Come a little closer

Let me tell you something

Eat your ego honey

Honey swallow your pride

You don't talk to no one

Don't you look at nothing

Focus on me

Look into my eyes

Come a little closer

Let me tell you something

You ain't going anywhere

'Cause you mine//

And from this part it gets even better:

//I used to be a rifle

Yeah I had my distance,

Whistling like a bullet in the sky//

//I used to be a psycho

Yeah I had my demons,

Crawling like a spider up my spine//

*incoherent screaming*

And the next part took me right back to the very first scene.

//I spotted you the second I walked in the building

I knew that you had let me get you high//

Right? Right???

//I wanna hear the things you say when no-one's listening

But that don't matter anyway...

'Cause you're mine//

And that’s it.

Damn, what a wild ride that was.

Thank you for staying with me until the very end.

#smoke & mirrors #smoke & mirrors playlist #bts smoke & mirrors

[flowerslut]

BREAKING DAWN Part 1 & Part 2

an updated, more modern take on the original soundtrack.

(TWILIGHT) (NEW MOON) (ECLIPSE)

spotify link — BD pt1 spotify link — BD pt2

[track list and commentary under the cut]

Part One

 Endtapes — The Joy Formidable  ➼ ➼ ➼ I Will Be Waiting — Let’s Eat Grandma

This soundtrack starts off so strongly that I had no choice but to pick one that can kick it off just as well. Let’s Eat Grandma might be my favorite band I’ve found this year. Their genre-bending is exquisite.

Love Will Take You — Angus & Julia Stone  ➼ ➼ ➼ Need Ur Luv (Japanese Wallpaper Remix) — Charli XCX

Talk to me a year ago and tell me I was going to be putting Charli on a Twilight soundtrack recreation and I would’ve stared blankly and asked “fucking how?” Well, with this incredible Japanese Wallpaper remix, that’s how.

It Will Rain — Bruno Mars ➼ ➼ ➼ In My Blood — Shawn Mendes 

And how do you replace baby Bruno? Well, only with today’s romantic power-balad singing baby, Shawn Mendes. It’s a perfect replacement, if you ask me.

Turning Page — Sleeping at Last  ➼ ➼ ➼ For Now - Reimagined — Kina Grannis

Any other 2009-era Kina Grannis stans? Message From Your Heart? All those YouTube covers? No, just me? Whatever. Kina belonged on those soundtracks back then, and this is setting things right.

From Now On — The Features  ➼ ➼ ➼ Cliffs Edge — Hayley Kiyoko

One of Hayley’s older songs, so it’s not too new, but I felt that is matched From Now On’s mood fantastically.

A Thousand Years — Christina Perri  ➼ ➼ ➼  human — Christina Perri

No, this isn’t cheating. But only Christina Perri can truly replace Christina Perri. It’s also a perfect pre-change Bella song. I’m sure you heard this song everywhere at the end of the saga when everyone took to YouTube to make their cathartic recap videos. 2012-13 was a great (but weird) year to be a Twilight stan.

Neighbors — Theophilus London ➼ ➼ ➼ FACE — BROCKHAMPTON

Whether you like BROCKHAMPTON or not means little to me. They were absolutely ending up on one of these soundtracks. And as replacement to Neighbors, it’s like they belong. “Tell me what you’re waiting for? I just want to love you.” Ouch. Harsh Jacob vibes.

I Didn’t Mean It — The Belle Brigade ➼ ➼ ➼ All out of Tears — Z Berg

Z Berg created a song that sounded like it was made for one of these soundtracks. It’s insane. And one of my fucking favorites.

Sister Rosetta — Noisettes  ➼ ➼ ➼ Digital Witness — St. Vincent

The Twilight soundtracks (and also Sufjan Stevens himself) are responsible for introducing me to St. Vincent. Now, years later, she’s consistently been one of my favorite artists. She has the range, y’all.

Northern Lights — Cider Sky  ➼ ➼ ➼ Pool — Paramore

Of course I was putting Paramore back on one of these lists, you crazies. (And this isn’t the last you’ll see of them, either.) 

Flightless Bird, American Mouth (Wedding Version) — Iron & Wine ➼ ➼ ➼ New America Classic — Vitamin String Quartet

There isn’t a wedding version of New American classic, but there is a Vitamin String Quartet version! (And no offense Iron & Wine, but it sounds so much more like an actual wedding song.) Any OG Twilight stans know that in this house, we love and cherish the Vitamin String Quartet. They were like our musical savior back in the day. Couldn’t find a decent quality soundtrack upload? No worries. Odds are, they’d already recorded an insane strings cover already.

Requiem on — Imperial Mammoth  ➼ ➼ ➼ Waste — Oh Wonder

I unashamedly adore this song by Oh Wonder. Their dual vocals always put me in a damn trance. It’s so beautiful to describe. Just listen.

Cold — Aqualung & Lucy Schwartz ➼ ➼ ➼ Willow (feat. Robert Pattinson) — Tindersticks

Told you I’d stick him back on the soundtracks eventually. This song is so hauntingly perfect. When I first heard it it reminded me why I was so in love with Robert back in the day. That voice, man. Talent leapt!

Lloverá — Mía Maestro  ➼ ➼ ➼ Silence II — Son Lux

It’s not as beautiful as the Carmen actress’ ballad, but it’s just as haunting.

Love Death Birth — Carter Burwell  ➼ ➼ ➼ Sæglópur — Sigur Rós

When I went through my Sigur Rós phase way back when (pre-Twilight) Sæglópur was my favorite song for ages. It takes you through the whole spectrum of emotion, just as Carter Burwell’s music does. I thought it was an ideal way to end this first half.

You still get bonus tracks! Here’s two for the first movie:

Otherside — Perfume Genius

Simple. Powerful. Emotional. All you need at this point in the saga.

Everything In Its Right Place — Radiohead 

A song that feels like waking up from a dream. Perfect for Bella’s dramatic change. (And of course I had to actually add Radiohead to one of these.)

Part Two

Where I Come From — Passion Pit  ➼ ➼ ➼ Manchester — Kishi Bashi

Bella deserves to see the world for the first time with vampire eyes while Kishi Bashi magically transforms the scene in the background. It’s *chef’s kiss* literal perfection. 

Bittersweet — Ellie Goulding  ➼ ➼ ➼ Warrior — AURORA

Can I go off topic for half a second and tell you guys that I cried when I saw AURORA featured on the new Frozen song? No one deserves that wide recognition as much as she does. And no one does mystical pop better than AURORA (not even Ellie Goulding).

The Forgotten — Green Day ➼ ➼ ➼ Warm Winds (feat. Isaiah Rashad) — SZA

SZA deserves this spot and don’t even question why. SZA’s first album was so iconically emo. She’s another artist I’m convinced would’ve been reached out to for a track if she’d been making music just a little bit earlier.

Fire In The Water — Feist ➼ ➼ ➼ Carry Me Out — Mitski

Even though I’ve been a Feist fan since I got my first vocal comparison to her pre-Twilight (so I was ecstatic when she was featured here) I think Mitski really encapsulates everything a Twilight soundtrack needs.

Everything and Nothing — The Boom Circuits ➼ ➼ ➼ Highspeeds — Elliot Moss

I can’t not give Elliot Moss a spot. And that's it.

The Antidote — St. Vincent  ➼ ➼ ➼ Unholy Trinity — Von Grey

I needed a harder song for this replacement and Von Grey’s music does the trick. This is the band of an old Tumblr friend that goes fucking hard, y’all. She and her sisters know how to bang out the tunes.

Speak Up — POP ETC  ➼ ➼ ➼ Reasons Not To Die (Demo) — Ryn Weaver

This girl just knows how to fucking get me. Her second and final appearance on the soundtrack, here to just make you want to laugh and cry all at once. And as a replacement to another top favorite, it works well.

Heart of Stone — Iko  ➼ ➼ ➼ Smother — Daughter

Heart of Stone actually made my end of year top tracks playlist for 2018. I knew I needed a solid replacement. And you can never go wrong with a Daughter track.

Cover Your Tracks — A Boy and His Kite  ➼ ➼ ➼ In The Mourning — Paramore

We bid farewell to Paramore with their final appearance here. In The Mourning is another long-time favorite. It’s beautiful. And sad! We love it.

Ghosts — James Vincent McMorrow  ➼ ➼ ➼ Weight — Crywolf

You need that late Breaking Dawn depressing shit? I got you that late Breaking Dawn depressing shit. “Bless me with just one kiss before you leave me here with my heart.”

All I've Ever Needed — Paul McDonald & Nikki Reed ➼ ➼ ➼ Beetroot (What If I Was 1?) — Blue Americans

I can’t describe how double-sad I get when I remember that Paul McDonald & Nikki Reed divorced not long after the saga wrapped. (Not that I ever had an attachment to him, but this song is so nice!) So that’s why Beetroot is a little sadder than All I’ve Ever Needed. Still a great song though.

New for You — Reeve Carney ➼ ➼ ➼ Black Hole — HANA 

Black Hole is a little more pop than New For You. But it’s beautiful and nice and lovely and I am also In Love with HANA. So you get her here.

A Thousand Years (Part 2) — Christina Perri (feat. Steve Kazee) ➼ ➼ ➼ I Get To Love You — Ruelle 

Had had had to put this incredible, romantic, hopeful song at the end of this soundtrack specifically. Just listen and tell me you don’t get emotional over their future with this.

Plus Que Ma Propre Vie (More Than My Own Life) — Carter Burwell ➼ ➼ ➼ Half Life - Instrumental Version — Imogen Heap

How are you supposed to pick a song to end the soundtracks? Thankfully, Imogen Heap had the foresight to release instrumental versions of each song on her Ellipse album. Such a thoughtful queen. We thank her by giving her the final word. 

What’s this? No more? It’s okay. You do get bonus tracks, but not here.

I’ll be posting one more soundtrack, full of all the extras and little gems that I couldn’t quite place in any specific spot on the soundtracks. A whole other playlist full of Twilight-vibey songs for your listening enjoyment! Look out for that next week. Happy New Year!

#the twilight saga #twilight soundtrack

[niallsfoolsgold]

Thin Walls and Fireworks

it’s been months since i last posted any work and i’m really sorry for that, i just haven’t been feeling my writing. this story is probably filled with typos because i haven’t edited it yet, and i have really mixed feeling about the whole thing (mainly the ending). thanks for reading at your own risk!

(not my gif!)

There are three things you should know about Emery before you really start reading this: 1. She wakes up at exactly 7:13 am every morning (she has literally timed how long it takes her to get ready and get to uni so that she can get a maximum amount of sleep every night while still having five extra minutes in case a traffic jam happens). 2. She listens to her spotify playlist specifically made for her morning showers everyday and she sings along because it helps her wake herself up faster. 3. The walls in her apartment are extremely thin. She quickly found the third thing out when she consistently heard music—different guitars and pianos mainly—blasting throughout her home at 1 a.m. within the first month she lived there. She tossed and turned on the frigid December night, and prayed to whatever god there was that the music would quiet down. Yeah... her prayers went unanswered.

She was annoyed to say the least. Her boss had called about an hour ago and said that she would have to work the next day after she had asked for one day off after working every day for the past three weeks. So she had pulled her thick grey comforter over her shoulders to hide the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra, pushed her glasses up onto the bridge of her nose, and took a quick glance in the mirror to make sure that she didn’t look too hideous. After that, she trudged her way out her door and down the carpeted hall, hoping that whoever lived next door wasn’t a complete asshole—her old neighbors in her previous apartment were which was one of the contending reasons for her moving elsewhere. She raised her hand to knock on the door, and mentally stopped herself, taking a deep breath and wondering what the fuck she was going to say. She hadn’t mentally prepared enough to meet someone new, especially not if they were rude, but she knocked on the door anyways; softly, but hard enough that it would be heard even through the music. When the door opened up, it was not what she expected, not at fucking all. Standing there was a tall, decently-muscular-well-built, gorgeous, greek god of a looking guy. He looked like the type of person she would allow to stab her twenty times if he asked nicely; hell, she would let him stab her even if he was rude. And if she wasn’t already ashamed of how messy she looked before she had seen this guy—it didn’t help that she remembered her landlord mentioning that he was famous—she really was now. “Can I help you with something?” She’s pretty sure he has the most angelic speaking voice she’s ever heard. He literally seems like he could possibly be a walking angel, coming second in the “perfection” genre only to Jesus Christ himself (she only thinks that because she’s almost certain that Jesus must’ve been decently perfect... being the son of God and all). She feels like she’s almost lost her voice, like she’s all choked up and unable to breathe just at the sight of this guy. Her eyebrows are raised only in the slightest before her lips begin moving and words are created. “Um—yes actually,” she speaks softly, “I really don’t mean to be rude or come off as pushy in any rude way, b—“ She’s cut off before she can even finish, but she doesn’t even care because she’s cut off by a breath of laughter from him before he looks back up at her. “It’s the loud music mixed with the thin walls, yeah? I’m really sorry about that. I’ve been gone since you moved in I guess so I’m not used to having a neighbor,” he spoke. She nods her head lightly at him. “That’s exactly it, actually. I’m sorry for asking,” she begins, “it’s just that I’ve got a early shift in the morning and rest is needed, ya know?” “It’s fine, don’t worry,” he offers another polite smile, and fuck, she nearly melts like a popsicle on the Fourth of July. She mutters “goodnight” to him and he does the same back as she’s turning to speed walk back to her apartment down the hall. Her heart feels like it’s about to beat out of her chest. *** Emery had a long day so far. That’s really all she wanted to say about it; it had just been a really fucking long day. It started out by thinking she overslept, and therefore freaking out about being late for work, only to find out that her boss had forgotten to tell her that her shift had changed to a night shift and she didn’t have to be in until five this evening. That threw her incredibly off track for the days activities. She went from there to get some last minute things from the store that she forgot when she had done her grocery shopping, but she realized in the checkout isle that she had left her wallet at her place and all she had was about $7 in her pocket. She decided to use that money to buy some coffee to wake her up, but then some asshole bumped into her in the shop and spilled her coffee all over her white shirt, and then proceeded to yell at her like it was her fault. And fuck, by the end of all this happening, it was only ten in the morning. So yes, she was absolutely batshit pissed at how fucking terribly her day had been going. She had finally managed to make it back to her apartment and wanted nothing more than a hot shower to relax her, and then maybe take a nap before going to work later on. She slings her jacket onto the dining table and kicked her shoes off by the front door. She really didn’t even bother to get clothing to change into in the bathroom (living alone really had its perks; she could walk around naked if she pleased, just not on the balcony, and not with the curtains opened). Stripping herself from her clothes and making sure the water was the right temperature beforehand, she hopped into the shower with her bad day playlist that’s titled “for your stressed-out-bitchy days”. She hummed along softly, singing the words softly as she got farther into the song. She was really confused when she started hearing singing from the other side of the wall; singing the exact words at the same time she was. Shawn—her devilishly handsome neighbor—was someone that she had only talked to a few times since she had asked him to turn his music down a couple of weeks earlier. He was nice, literally almost always. She had never seen him in a bad mood, and he often talked to her if they happened to get into the elevator at the same time, or if they passed each other in the hallway. He asked simple questions about her, like how old she was, how long she had lived here, stuff like that. In some cases it could have been weird, but he seemed nice enough and simply a friendly person. There was no doubt in her mind that her greek god of a neighbor could actually hear her, but it made her giggle just a bit when he had even joined to sing along (although it wasn’t that surprising since she had recently learned from her landlord that the reason he was famous was for singing). It was dumb that something as stupid as her next door neighbor singing along to her music—who we can’t forget is absolutely gorgeous—made her day seem a little bit better than it was before. She dries the wet drips of water off of her body with the white, fluffy, hotel-like towels that she loves more than her own life. Everything was quiet when the music was off. No more singing through the thin walls with Shawn, just quiet. In all honesty, she was kind of happy for the quiet, even though his voice was still kind of angelic. It had been such a long ass day, she was just ready to lie down before going to work. So after drying her body off and changing into her most comfortable items of clothing—her favorite pair of leggings and a sweatshirt that was much too large for her—she crawled into her bed, turned on her most relaxing music, and drifted off to sleep. *** Words are unable to describe how much she dreaded to go to work later on that evening after she woke up. It was still a bit rushed getting ready for work, but thank fuck that the owner of the bar was chill and her work attire consisted of jeans and a black shirt (of any kind, just no graphics), and having her hair up. After changing and slipping on her favorite coat, she put her hair up, put on one of the best faces of makeup she probably ever had in a short amount of time—honestly though, her eyeliner is on fucking point—and left with her keys and purse in hand. The backdoor to the bar squeaked a little bit when Y/N opened it up, setting her things in her designated shelf that the manager had bought so that the employees things wouldn’t be unorganized and disheveled everywhere. Her name tag was on the same shelf and she pinned it onto her shirt after taking her coat off. “Hey darlin’,” one of the workers, Tess, spoke to her, Tess’ sweet southern accent dripping from her lips. Tess was a twenty-something year old girl that had moved from Georgia in order to try be closer with her dad (her parents had divorced when she was young, and she had always described her mother as “a backstabbing, no good, pussy-ass-bitch, who deserves to choke on her boy toy’s dick”... she really has a way with words, okay?-). Tess had been there for Y/N since they had started working together, the both of them becoming close friends quickly due to not knowing another soul within a hundred miles. They weren’t necessarily sisters, more like each other’s favorite cousins at family reunions; they gossiped about other people, shared problems, and talked about the cutest guys and girls (because honestly fuck people who say you can’t love who you want to) that came in and spilled all the tea about each interaction with said guys. (Tess actually has a girlfriend named Margot, but honestly the two in the relationship knew that Tess was a natural flirt and couldn’t stop herself even if she tried, despite the both of them being very in love with one another.) “Hey love,” she responded, giving a small grin to the girl that she adored. Tess gave a small wink in return, making Emery’s grin grow wider. The bar wasn’t very busy right now, but that was mainly because it was only five o’clock and most people were just now getting off work while Emery was just getting started. It was weird to have a working schedule like that, and it sucked ass when it came to studying during the school year. But once again, her manager, Mark, was pretty chill—besides the times when it was obvious that the place was going to be busy, just like on Friday nights like this one—and allowed her to get off in time or come in late, just so that she could get some of her school work done. The first two hours of her seven hour shift were brought as hell. People shuffled in and out, maybe buying a drink or two, and then leaving immediately after paying. It annoyed her that people did that sometimes. If people were only going to buy one drink, then why not just buy a bottle of whatever they wanted from the store? Then they would be able to have one drink every night for a long time. She was certainly surprised when Shawn walked in the bar, a couple of guys following him in and she assumed they were probably his friends. They were all laughing about something that must have been said outside and cracking more jokes to go along with it. She did her best to ignore all of it—more specifically just all of them in general because she refused to get internally flustered with Shawn like she had when they first met—and went back to combining some of the partly used alcohol bottles with others. It was boring but it would also maybe get her out of socializing with someone that made her really fucking nervous for no reason. She almost did it too, almost got away with pretending to be distracted until— “Hey, neighbor.” She looked up from the two bottle in hand and nearly choked on thin air. There he was, Shawn, looking fine as hell and all he was doing was standing there. “I didn’t know you worked here,” he commented again. She placed she bottles on the bar and leaned against it, fake confidence taking over he features. “If you come here often then I’m not sure how. But then again, I’ve worked here for seven months this and this is the first time I can remember seeing you around,” she replies. Her cold hands were so close to shaking but she did her best to still them. “Hmm,” he hummed, “Well this is the first time I’ve been home for more than a couple days in about seven months, and I didn’t know about this place up until one of my friends,” he paused, turning around and pointing to one of the guys in the group that walked in with him, “told us all about it last month.” She raised her eyes at his comment, slowly nodding her head once, letting him know that he must’ve been correct. He doesn’t say anything else, just looks at her for a minute and now she’s really fucking nervous with her fake confidence fading away into a imaginary black hole. “Oka—Uh, well do you guys want anything to drink, or are you just really wanting some conversation?” she’s freaking the hell out inside. She wonders how she got those eighteen words out of her mouth. He nods, looking back at his group and does a quick count of how many people were in it before turning back. “Just 6 beers is all.” When she takes the tray of beers to the table he and his friends are sitting at, she can her them laughing again, and the doubt makes her wonder if they’re laughing at her or at something else, but she hopes it’s the latter. She gives a quick smile as she places the dark glass bottles in the table before turning around and going back to behind the bar. *** The night didn’t seem to last long enough. Contrary to what she had assumed, the shift she worked tonight wasn’t that bad. It was filled, but not overcrowded—despite it being New Year’s eve, but then again, most people were at clubs instead of actual bars—which made her job eighty-five percent easier than usual. Plus, most of the people didn’t care how long they waited; they were just waiting for the year of suffering to be over with. Shawn and his friends ended up moving to the actual bar counter and made conversation with her while she made drinks. They had all been curious to know what it was like living next to Shawn, to which she responded with “fine, besides him blasting music late at night when I have to work the next morning.” He had playfully rolled his eyes at that, to which she winked at him when no one else was paying attention (and fuck when that happened she was so confused because where the hell did that little bit of confidence come from?). That’s what the entire night consisted of; laughter, questions, and subtle flirting between Shawn and Emery. A pang if disappointment came inside her when they announced they were leaving after only about an hour and half of staying, but it felt a little better when they had promised to come back, and even better when Shawn winked at her on his way out the front door. She did her best to clean up as fast as fucking possible in order to get back to her apartment, promising Tess that she would do everything in her power to stay awake long enough tonight to call her and tell her why and how she knew the “super hot famous dude that looks like he could be a fuck boy but is most hopefully not” (a.k.a. Shawn). She knew she drove fast on the way back; and it wasn’t to see Shawn even though she almost hoped that he would blast his music loudly again so that she could go over and just see his face again, but he didn’t. He was pretty quiet, actually, and she almost thought there was a possibility that he wasn’t even home until she heard faint humming from the other side of the wall. She smiled, rolling her eyes at the fact that he seemed to love music so much that he couldn’t go without listening to some for of it (even if it was himself) for more than an hour. But the humming didn’t seem to stop, and then music was turned on, and then the music was turned up just enough to keep her awake. Her feet patted across the tiled floor and into her her slides, the top half of her body engulfed in a hoodie that was much too large for her, her hair falling loosely and messily, and her face clean and free of makeup. She knocked on his own door, and it swung open almost instantly. He was still dressed in the same clothing from earlier, looked almost the exact same, but his eyes were a little bit more soft and sleepy (basically just fucking adorable, but what’s new?). All he had to do to know what she needed was look at the slightly raised eyebrow; it was the same look she wore just a couple of nights ago. Emery opens her mouth but Shawn beats her to it, “Turn the music down?” There’s a small smirk on his face. She slowly blinks with a nod. “You got it,” he says. She turns around to walk back to her place with her hands in the pockets of her black Adidas sweatpants when he catches her attention again with his voice. “Hey, um,” he pauses and she turns to face him again, “fuck, this may sound really weird and kinda creepy ‘cause we’ve only talked like, I don’t know maybe five time, but do you wanna come in?” She raises her eyebrows at him with the tiniest grin at how nervous he seems to be with his rambling. If this is how she is, then she really understands why he seems to be smiling at her so much, but she doubts she’s actually this cute while doing it. “It’s just that it’s New Year’s Eve, and I have no idea if you’re alone, maybe you’ve already got people or a person at your place, but I know that it sucks to be alone because you see everyone together and shit... but if you are alone, you’re welcome to come over. Only if you want to, obviously,” he rambling again and she doesn’t even bother to hide the little grin that’s growing on her face. “Yeah,” he looks at her with his eyebrows raised just a little bit. “I’d love to come over. Let me grab my phone and I’ll be right back?” He nods and she practically speed walks back to her place, grabbing her phone from her room and going back out the door, but not before looking in her little mirror to make sure she looked at least somewhat decent. Fuck, she was freaking out. *** Emery decided that Shawn is possible her favorite person now (and for sure her favorite celebrity, even though she knows he’s so much more than that). It was a little half past eleven, and both Emery and Shawn were half drunk/a little tipsy on an unknown type of champagne that Emery insisted was amazing—and obviously Shawn trusts her word on alcohol because she’s a fucking bartender. It’d be weird if she didn’t know—and Shawn just happened to have a bottle of it. They were giggling at the stupidest things, sitting next to but facing each other on Shawn’s sectional, and waiting for the ball drop in New York. “Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me that your brother was choking on a lego, and you didn’t do anything about it?” “I was five, Shawn! I didn’t know what to fucking do!” Emery exclaims back. “Plus, he was fifteen years old, he knew better than that anyways.” He shakes his head at her jokingly and she looks up at him. “What about you?” she takes a sip of the sparkling drink from her glass. “Do you have any siblings?” She can see his eyes light up slightly when she asks him this. “Yeah, a little sister. Her name’s Aaliyah, she’s five years younger than me, and she’s fifty times more awesome than myself,” he chuckles. Emery smiles at how much he seems to care about her, even if he’s hardly talked about her. She’s about to open her mouth to say something when cheering from the tv that was mounted up on the wall erupted, taking the attention of both of them. It was the countdown. She started mouthing the numbers along with all the people in New York, shifting in her seat to get a better look while Shawn does the same, the ball slowly dropping until— “3... 2... 1...” and suddenly everyone went crazy. A smile take over her face and she looks over to Shawn, and it almost seems like he might have been looking at her already, but it’s hard to tell because it’s dark and she’s still a little drunk. She does know one thing though, he’s smiling back at her, and he’s a little drunk too. “Happy New Year,” she smiles, her voice is quiet and soft and sweet. And once again, even though she a little intoxicated off of champagne of all things, she thinks she might melt when he smiles drunkenly right back at her. “Happy New Year.” She wants to kiss him just a little bit. She’s not really sure if that’s because she drunk, because he pretty, or maybe because she’s had a little crush on him for a while, even though she doesn’t know everything about like some girls do. But she knows that she wants to know him like that. She wants to know his favorite color, and how much cream and sugar he puts in his coffee (or if he does at all). She want to know why he plays music so fucking loud, and if he likes sunrises or sunsets more. Fuck she just want to know it all, because this crush she’s got is so fucking big, and she want to have it even after she knows these things. But she doesn’t kiss him, because she remembers that she was supposed to call Tess when she got home, and that was about an hour and a half ago. So she pushes her self up from the couch, and she stumbles just a bit but catches herself. “I should probably go,” she says. “I was supposed to call Tess, so she could be freakin out.” Shawn just nods, and she wants to say he looks disappointed, but like it was said earlier, she’s a little drunk and it’s really dark. He stands up too, walking her to the door and even going as far as “walking her home” even though her apartment was only about fifteen to twenty feet down the hall. They stood outside of her door, his hands in his pockets while she fiddled around with her keys (her door had an automatic lock on it; safety first obviously). She finally managed to get the door unlocked, opening it slightly, then turning slightly to wish him goodnight, and that’s when they both realize how close they actually are to each other. Her breath gets caught in her lungs just a little, and she can see that his breathing has increased. They’re both nervous, at least nervous enough, and seems like years pass with how close they’re standing to each other while the both stare at each other, eyes only flicking to each other’s lips when the other isn’t paying attention. He’s the one that leans down, and she knows that she can’t be imagining it, because when his lips meet hers it’s like the New Years fireworks have started all over again, and she’s freaking out. It’s soft, and slow, and she feels like she’s dying inside, but only in the best way possible. But then he pulls away, and she’s a little disappointed, but at the same time she can’t be. She offers another small smile, and he gives one back, and their both muttering “goodnight” to each other at the same time while blushing profusely. Next thing she knows, she’s shutting her door door with a heavy sigh, but a huge smile on her face. And all of this is because Emery has a huge fucking crush on her greek god of a neighbor that blasts music through the thin walls.

#my writing #sm #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fic #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes x oc #shawn mendes fanfiction

[heoneyology]

50 questions tag

yay I found one of the things I was tagged in!!! by a lot of people!! before it gets too lost in my favorites!! so I think @helloicarus, @youremytreasure98, and @parkseonghwa are all the people who tagged me?

1. What takes up too much of your time?

work, first and foremost...

2. What makes your day better?

my cats, my boyfriend, jooheon’s dimples, the photocards of jooheon and hongjoong I now have in my phone case, tacos, and naps!

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

my boss told me I could have the day off... but then I realized I wasn’t going to have back-to-back days off this week alkdjfksdk

4. What fictional place would you like to go?

uhh anywhere high fantasy tbh? chromeria (brent weeks lightbringer series), the known world (game of thrones), cosmere (brandon sanderson’s stormlight archive and more), middle earth (the hobbit), uhhh also harry potter?

5. Are you good at giving advice?

I try but??? I personally don’t feel like I am

6. Do you have any mental illness?

generalized anxiety

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

once when I was a kid, I literally had no idea what was going on I was so young, and it scared me half to death. I begged my mom to sleep in the living room with me that night and we watched late night cartoons together until I was convinced it was safe to fall back to sleep.

8. What musician inspired you the most?

linkin park and chester bennington. also block b, and zico.

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

yes! and I’m still amazed some days he puts up with me, but he’s my best friend

10. What’s your dream date

staying in bed all day and reading or watching a movie and cuddling, or hiking and tacos after we finish the hike (this is our go-to date actually lol)

11. What do other people notice about you?

I get told a lot that it’s my smile?

12. What is the annoying habit you have?

when I’m anxious or not keeping my mind occupied I have a habit of either chewing my lip until it’s bleeding or subconsciously scratching at my arms or forehead :’))

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

yeah, I live with him my boyfriend is the only person I’ve seriously been in a long term relationship with and I don’t consider past dates or crushes 

14. How many ex’s do you have?

none, I don’t consider the people I went on a lunch or dinner date with a couple times as serious relationships, so...

15. How many songs are on your playlist?

I don’t know akljdf;ljsdf I switched to using spotify and things aren’t exactly organized over there...

16. What instruments can you play?

none now but I used to be able to play the flute

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

my cats and.....

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

new zealand, south korea, and japan!

19. What is your zodiac?

libra sun (gemini moon and libra asc)

20. Do you relate to it?

a decent amount for certain personality things, but for like my mindset I think I relate more to my ascending libra and gemini moon than I do my sun libra?

21. What is happiness to you?

wherever you feel at ease, and whatever fills your heart with an inexplicable warmth

22. Are you going through anything right now?

not... in particular...?

23. What is the worst decision you’ve ever made?

when I finally put my first cat, who grew up with me all the way to me turning 18 years old, down because he was old and at the end of his life... I just turned him over to the vet because I couldn’t handle staying in the room with him, and I hate myself to this day for it

24. What is your favourite store?

the internet...

25. What is your opinion on abortion?

your body, your choice

26. Do you have a bucket list?

kind of? it’s more like just a travel bucket list, there are just places I really want to go someday

27. Do you have a favourite album at the moment?

take 1. are you there (monsta x), treasure ep 1 & 2 (ateez)

28. What do you want for your birthday?

to move out of this city/state... I’m kinda over it now lol

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

uhh... no idea :’))

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

well when I was younger, everyone kept telling me I was older. now that I’m older, everyone keeps telling me I seem younger like I’m 21 alkdsjfk;lsdj

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

nightstand next to my bed

32. What word do you say the most?

fuck

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

probably someone around 10 years older? so someone close to 30? age gaps kind of start to mean less the older you get...

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

5 years (20) is the cutoff for someone younger

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

doctor or nurse

36. What’s your favourite music genre?

everything akldjfksdf.... rock, alternative, kpop, edm... even country since I grew up with it

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

somewhere with better health care please

38. What is your current favourite song?

I suck at choosing favorites of anything so I’ll pass on this alkdjfksdf it depends on my mood LOL

39. How long have you had this blog for?

8 years!!

40. What are you excited for?

monsta x in august!! lowkey mostly meeting jooheon aklsdjfkslj

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

listener

42. What is the last productive thing you do?

nothing. I did absolutely nothing productive today.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

to move somewhere new lmfao

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

when I was in school it was english/literature

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling rn?

5ish

46. What can you see yourself doing In 10 years?

I don’t know cries it’d be nice to be living somewhere else?? close to friends, with lots of cats and pets like I’ve always wanted, maybe finally having a book published akdjflksdf and traveling a lot

47. When did you get your first heart broken?

when I put aforementioned cat from a few questions ago down

48. At what age do you want to get married?

no time constraint, I don’t really care either way

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

veterinarian

50. What do you crave now?

hot wings, and to live somewhere that isn’t where I live right now

I’m not tagging anyone because I’ve lost count of how many people have done it!!! but if you see this and want to participate tag me so I can see you did it c:

#tagged #about me

[glumvillain]

GlumReviews #1

     Todays first “Old New Album” is from Mississippi-born singer, guitarist and harmonica player, Howlin Wolf. With a unique and sometimes haunting vocal style, Howlin Wolf could be considered a progenitor of the screamo grunge era of the early 90s.  This man didn’t come to croon a tune into your ear about a love lost--no. He came to play some damn blues and howl into the night. On my first ever listen thru I was transported to an era of smoky blues clubs and sweltering afternoons sitting on the porch, waiting for a pissed off lover to come back home.

     And if you’re asking yourself if this is my first time doing this, then that answer is yes, so bear with me, as we dive into Howlin Wolf’s first compilation album titled “Moanin’ in the Moonlight” a collection of a decade’s work (1951-1959), and a perfect first album for nascent Blues fans who would like a nice jumping off point to blues appreciation.

We begin with Track 1:

     1.Moanin at Midnight

We enter with the trademark “howls” as harmonica and guitar pickin’ chug us along into an upbeat little jam about nothing in particular, to an amateur such as myself this song appears to me as just a nice little jam to showcase what you’re in for with the rest of the album, I’ll refrain from calling this one of the weaker songs on the album, it does have the toe tapping jaunt of a good blues track, and its only the beginning of a journey into the life of a bluesman beginning his rise to blues stardom in Chicago.

       2. How Many More Years

Proto-rock at its finest, with crunchy guitar pickin’, and rolling blues piano, by the time HW croaks in his throaty vocals with “How many more years have I got to let you dog me around/ I’d soon rather be sleeping six feet in the ground”, you know this is what you came to listen to, real blues, a story about a man being treated wrongly by his lover. Shame. When you know you’re not being given the best you can get, having no choice but to retire to separate quarters of the house to salvage peace. Oh and if anybody asks about Ol’ Howlin’ Wolf, just tell ‘em he walked out on ya

          3. Smokestack Lightnin’

This is it. Not gonna bury the lead here, this is why you put on this album, if there was ever any song that made a statement about why the singer is named “Howlin’ Wolf” this is it, a 3 minute blistering ballad of a man wailing his soul out. “Why don’t you hear me cry” he wails into the night, as harmonicas pickup the groove, you cant help but dance a little while this guy is just...being emo essentially, but its GOOD emo music. And all respect to where its due, this is just good fucking music, and it only exists to amplify emotion. All captured in this track here, the heartbreaks and ordeals of another lost lover. Don’t skip this track.

     4. Baby How Long

Winding down into some fine driving music if I say so myself, leaving the emo trail behind a bit, a nice upbeat tune about waiting. Awakened to his lover having just left him, Ol’ Howler only does his best work on days like this, another vocal delight on the album and his harmonica work is not to be underestimated either, both skills on beautiful display as he wails “Well when you leave home/ You can call me on your phone”. 

     5. No Place to Go (You Gonna Wreck My Life)

Leaning a little more RnB here, Howlin’ Wolf begins with a clean vocal that gives way to his croaks, and I gotta say I’m reminded of the clean/heavy switch off with grunge bands and later emo screamo bands, just in a blues format. Very chill song about the inner thoughts of another down and out day, lamenting the time spent with someone whose now a stranger to you. Possibly how one has wasted their best years with someone “Now I’m old and gray, got no place to go”, this is a leaving song, this is when he packed his bags, headed into a great unknown.     

     6. All Night Boogie (All Night Long)

Ok put out your cigarettes and get on the dancefloor, you could call this the song he played after Track 5′s scenario at his local venue, while an upbeat danceable tune we stay on the topic of scorned lovers. Just another worrisome bluesman wondering where his woman is all hours of the night, but instead of wailing his heart out on this one, we get some great harmonica work, if you like harmonica, this is the jam for you, sometimes the ol’ mouth harp can convey emotions better than “I cried, I cried, I cried, all day long”

      7. Evil (Is Goin On)

Another benchmark in the album as we get deeper into these soulful RnB sounds, a little ballad about a man who likes to visit your woman when you’re away from home. Bass led and vocal heavy, this is just another notch in HW’s belt for his many styles, if you started from track 1, you could essentially call that bare bones as we progress thru the compilation (spanning 10 years as mentioned before), you can really chart progress of an artist and recording quality, another track you shouldn’t skip. A highlight of this track is definitely that ragtime piano.

          8. I’m Leavin’ You

Bet you can’t guess what this songs about. Well if you can’t then it’s just another day in the life of Howlin’ Wolf as he explains to his woman that one day will be the day he finally packs it up. “meanest woman I ever seen/ No matter how I try to treat you right/ Still you’s a mean little thing” he sings to a rambling blues chord progression-- which it’s worth noting that HW has penned several blues standards and if you’re interested in the history I advise you to check out the wikipedia article. Nothing relatively noteworthy in this track but it keeps the album energy at a moderate pace and never once are you taken out of that momentum once it starts.

          9. Moanin’ for my Baby

Step back into that swelterin’ blues bar with me for a sec because we got more Howlin’ to do. The soulful blues tracks give way to the OG sound of the first few tracks that started the compilation, a repetitive toe tappin blues jam session. I sense gospel singing that slowly gets bent into blues. The light giving way to dark, pure rivers running into muddy water swamps. Ramblin’ man blues, that damn Howl is just poetry, an instrument unto itself, apart from the singing, apart from his guitar work, and apart from his harmonica, his voice becomes the perfect tool to not only sing but to emote the blues in dissonant wails and vibratos.

     10. I Asked Her For Water

“I asked her for water/ She brought me gasoline“

--ok come on wouldn’t that lyric fit just as well before the breakdown drops from any number of your favorite Emo era bands? 

nearing the end of this journey, we find that the theme visited heavily in this album is the theme of home and homelessness, he has no sense of home and anywhere he has found a home...isn’t a big fan of his presence. His lady is gone all night when he’s home, wants him gone when she’s home, and whenever he’s gone from home, she’s worried about what he’s up to, and vice versa. NOT to mention, that whenever he’s gone from home, apparently there’s some guy waiting for men to leave their women alone so he can entertain them. What a fucking world. 

     11. Forty Four

I get a real gospel/pop vibe from this, mixed with a little marching band. The scenario set is a pretty neat little story about once again, being away from home, the pawning of possessions and a need for a direction to travel to. I wanna be vocal and say that if I truly believed a song was worth skipping I would say it, and so far no track has lost my interest, with an average song time of about 3 minutes each track this is a nice slice of blues, each with a different bend to the sound, nothing is duplicated in this journey, the theme is essential and it really does set up that perfect bluesman story, minus the crossroads.

     12. Somebody In My Home

We made it. You made it. And for that, I thank you.

wrapping up this first of what I hope is many reviews to come is this sludgy blues ditty and while it appears as just another run-of-the-mill blues song -- This is what I’ll have to say is his most lyrically strong song in this entire album “Colors dont bind, oh no/ What do they know? They speak falsely”

It feels as if this is him personally sitting down in a chair across from you and just cutting straight to the chase about life, like if he had to boil everything down into one nugget of wisdom to impart, then this would be it. A personal chat from a man who was born in 1910. A slice of history told thru music.

In Conclusion:

“Moanin’ in the Moonlight”, clocking in at around 30 minutes, an easy choice to make if you’re looking for a nice introduction into blues, and I’ve said it before but a large takeaway from this album is SEVERAL styles of blues being presented here and none of it gets repetitive, I am sure guitar beginners could become some decent blues pickers studying the techniques on display here as well.

rating system [subject to change]

1-bad

5-good

The rating system for now is kinda arbitrary as there is nothing to base it off of until I’ve made other reviews to weight it against, but based purely on the album runtime and the contents of the album I’ll give it:

⭐⭐⭐⭐/5

I was gonna go with 3, but with the help of Spotify (not an ad), it led me down the rabbit hole of some great blues guitarists as well. Gave it a little bump for being a beginners blues album.

#howlin' wolf #moanin' in the moonlight #music review #album review #RnB #Blues #Chicago Blues #glumreviews #glumvillain

[magzoso-tech]

New Post has been published on https://magzoso.com/tech/new-year-2020-our-gadgets-wishlist-from-iphone-9-to-mi-tv-4x/

New Year 2020: Our Gadgets Wishlist, From iPhone 9 to Mi TV 4X

There’s nothing like having a shiny new gadget to play with. Well, until the second week anyway — when you start looking forward to the next one, eh? That would be funny except materialism is no funny topic in a world that’s facing a climate emergency. Thanks, unchecked capitalism. But that’s not going to automatically make you not want things, but the least that you can do when the planet is burning is be responsible. More so for tech stuff that use rare-earth elements. Don’t discard something that still works, and if you’ve to buy a new one, read about its environmental impact.

Depressed yet? Anyway, here’s what the Gadgets 360 staff will be keeping its eye on in 2020. It includes TVs, laptops, smartwatches, (wireless) headphones, gaming consoles and services, and naturally, phones. And… shoes? Yes, shoes.

Aditya Shenoy: Samsung Galaxy Buds, but better

Last year, I had put the Sena 30K on my wishlist. I didn’t buy it because I found it to be super expensive for what it offered. Cardo does make similar communicators that are better and well-priced but that’ll have to wait since this Chinese V6 Communicator I bought this year is working as expected.

I don’t need a tech product, but I am open to buying a pair of good truly wireless earphones. Currently the Samsung Galaxy Buds are on the list. I hope Samsung launches a successor soon with active noise cancelling. That would be something I’ll be interested to buy.

Buy: Samsung Galaxy Buds, if you can’t wait

Akhil Arora: a new console, maybe?

Someone ought to hold and shake me by the shoulders, just for saying that. A bit of necessary backgrounder: I own more consoles than new games I’ve finished this year, and more controllers than free hours I’ve in the day. And yet, I can’t seem to resist the temptation of the next generation, if only for the better graphics fidelity it will no doubt promise.

But I haven’t named one side because I’m genuinely caught: PlayStation has more exclusives, and Xbox has… Forza Horizon? Contain your astonishment, that’s my life. What Microsoft needs to do then essentially is announce Forza Horizon 5, exclusive to the Xbox Series X. That last bit is very important. Hope you’re (not) listening, Phil. Otherwise, Sony seems the safer bet.

Or maybe I’ll grow some brains and save the money for an upcoming holiday.

Buy: some sensibility

Akshay Jadhav: Sony WH-1000XM3 Wireless ANC Headphones

In 2019, I assembled my new PC, primarily for editing and gaming at home. However, I couldn’t stretch my budget to accommodate a decent pair of headphones. So, in 2020 I am looking out for a killer pair of headphones to complete my setup and I have my eye on the legendary Sony WH-1000XM3 due to its insane active noise cancellation capabilities and superb sound quality. This headphone is still on the pricier side however when it comes to ANC with overall features, it is still slightly better than the Bose QC 35. In 2020, I am hoping that after Sony releases their new XM4 model, the XM3 will go down in price or I can find it on a discounted price during any sale.

Buy: Sony WH-1000XM3 Active Noise Cancellation Headphones

Ali Pardiwala: Apple Arcade

There are a few non-tech products I absolute NEED to buy — a new mattress and shoes — so I’m a bit short on funds for a big tech purchase. However, I do love playing games on my iPad mini (2019), and I think it’s finally time to set aside an extra Rs. 99 per month for Apple Arcade. It may not sound like much, but when I’m already paying for Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hotstar, Spotify, and YouTube Music, even Rs. 99 per month sounds like a lot.

Apple’s gaming service comes with a one-month free trial, and gives you access you a variety of quality games through a unique monthly subscription model. It’s a great way to access new games and might be worth it for me if I can play games that actually put the iPad mini’s power to good use.

Buy: Apple Arcade

Aman Rashid: Nike Air Jordan 1

In 2018, I remember wanting to buy the iPhone XS Max in Gold, but I just couldn’t because I had recently purchased the Galaxy Note 9 at that time, and admittedly my budget was also a bit tight. But yes, I do remember mentioning in my wishlist for 2019 that I would buy the next iPhone. So, iPhone season came, and I got the iPhone 11 Pro in Gold. And with that, I fulfilled the promise to myself of getting the next big thing from Apple.

So now what? Well, now I am having a good time with my iPhone 11 Pro. And looking at my habit of changing phones every year: do I want to upgrade to the iPhone 12 Pro or whatever its name is going to be? Um, I am not so sure right now. I think for me, the iPhone 11 Pro is a very good smartphone that ticks all the correct boxes. So as much as I love my current device, I am not very sure whether I will be upgrading to the iPhone 12 Pro or not.

But this is a question for September 2020. If the new iPhone does look enticing to me, then maybe I might just buy it. In the meantime, what else do I want? Well apart from phones sneakers are something that I am absolutely crazy for and believe me I have got a lot of them. So, iPhone 12 Pro in 2020? Not so sure. More Air Jordan 1s? Yes sir, please!

Buy: Nike Air Jordan 1

Gaurav Shukla: Apple MacBook Air (2020)

It has been a while since I upgraded my laptop and if I remember correctly both my existing laptops are now touching the five-year mark. So, I am thinking of going for the upgraded MacBook Air model that is expected to arrive sometime in 2020. As the latest MacBook Air model available in the market packs the eight-gen Intel core chips, I want to wait until Apple releases the refreshed version with at least the 10th gen Intel core processor options.

It will be my first personal MacBook as even though I currently use an NDTV-provided MacBook Air for official work, I have stuck to Windows for personal computers. I am hoping that not only does Apple upgrade the CPU in the next-generation MacBook Air but also switches the keyboard from butterfly to scissor-switch-based design that it has included in the 16-inch MacBook Pro.

Harpreet Singh: AirPods Pro, Kindle Paperwhite

Last year, I wished to buy Apple’s HomePod in 2019. I waited for a large part of the year, hoping Apple will launch it in India. It didn’t. And then a very wise person I know suggested I wait until Black Friday, which is exactly what I did. I ended up with a generous deal on the HomePod eventually (yes, I had to buy one from the US).

For 2020, I don’t have any solid plans yet. I wish to save some dough, but then you never know. AirPods Pro, a new MacBook Pro 13-inch (ideally one with the new keyboard), and the all-new Kindle Paperwhite are still on my wishlist. Depending on the budget, I might strike at least one of these off by the end of next year.

Buy: AirPods Pro, Kindle Paperwhite

Jagmeet Singh: Apple Watch Series 5

It’s been more than a year since I have the Apple Watch Series 3. Although I’m still getting what I need from the 2017 model, I feel that 2020 would be the year when I would switch to a newer Apple Watch. I generally don’t consider it wise to spend plenty of your hard-earned money on a new Apple device that becomes cheaper in a few months of its launch. Thus, I hope that the latest Apple Watch would get some price drops in the future that would make it a better deal.

What makes the Apple Watch Series 5 a significant upgrade over the Series 3 is its new Always-On Retina display and the ability to record electrocardiogram (ECG). Both features have attracted me since the launch of the new Apple Watch model in September. However, its price tag of nearly Rs. 44,000 for the 44mm case is something that has restricted me to take the buying decision so far.

Apple is likely to bring some notable changes to its smartwatch family in 2020. Nevertheless, I don’t want to spend much on the next-generation Apple Watch and would go with the existing option next year.

Buy: Apple Watch Series 5

Jamshed Avari: nothing, hopefully

It’s highly unlikely that I’ll splash out on anything huge in 2020, or at least unlikely that I’ll plan to. At the moment, everything I have works well enough and isn’t too old. That doesn’t mean I’m immune to the temptations of flash sales or crazy discounts, so who knows how I’ll feel six months from now, and who knows what I’ll end up with! I’ve also developed a bad habit of buying SSDs and RAM because prices keep falling so it’s probably a fair bet that my various devices will end up getting a few minor upgrades.

Nadeem Sarwar: Pixel 4a

The Google Pixel 4a is at the top of my tech wish list for the year 2020 for many reasons, with one of them being the need to upgrade to a new phone. And now that the first major Pixel 4a leak has given us a look at its design, I am more now more inclined to buy it. The Pixel 4a will ditch its predecessor’s thick bezels and will opt for a more modern hole-punch design.

Prabhakar Thakur: iPhone 9, or SE 2

I am thinking of buying Apple iPhone 9 (also called iPhone SE 2) which is rumoured to launch in April 2020. According to reports, the phone may feature A13 Bionic chip and the same chassis as that of the iPhone 8. I hope Apple keeps the bezels thin and provides a bigger battery. I also wish the phone supports fast charging, but I guess I am asking for a bit too much from the company given its past record. A decent camera can be expected as well.

My decision to buy the iPhone 9 will also depend on its price. As per speculations, the smartphone may start selling at $399 in the US. My guess is that it might sell in India for $600 (roughly Rs. 43,000). Waiting for some great deals for the phone also seems like a good idea. iPhone 11 could also become cheaper later in the year. Eventually, it will depend on the best deal that I get both in terms of phone’s capabilities and price. For now, the iPhone 9 is on my mind.

Pranay Parab: AirPods Pro

I was fortunate enough to pick up the AirPods at a big discount a couple of years ago, and I hope 2020 will bring a similar discount on the AirPods Pro. The AirPods Pro has active noise cancellation and excellent sound quality, as we’ve mentioned in our review and podcast, and that makes this a must have for me. While this is the product I want to buy, I will not be picking it up at its current price (Rs. 24,900). I’m prepared to wait till 2021 or till whenever there’s a big discount before buying it. Until then, I’ll continue using my AirPods even though the battery life is down to around 90 minutes at this point.

Buy: AirPods Pro

Roydon Cerejo: games, wireless earphones and chargers

Last year, I said I wanted to buy the Apple Watch Series 4 and, in all honesty,, I almost did. But then, better sense prevailed, and I ended up picking up a used, Series 1 instead. It just didn’t make sense spending the same amount as a mid-range Android flagship, for an accessory. My main need for the Apple Watch was notifications alerts and controlling media volume when using AirPods — all of which the Series 1 handles beautifully.

For 2020, I don’t have an immediate wishlist since I’ve already made pretty big purchases this year, the PS4 Pro being the most recent one. I’ll definitely looking to get more games for the PS4, as and when newer titles drop in price and hit CeX. I’ll probably look at picking up a new pair of truly wireless earphones too. I love my AirPods, but the Samsung Galaxy Buds have spoiled me with its superior audio quality. I’ll be keeping an eye out for the Bose Earbuds 500 or 700, which were teased this year for a 2020 launch.

I wouldn’t mind more wireless chargers at home too. It’s super convenient and now that most people at my place have phones capable of wireless charging, it makes sense to have more of them around the house.

Buy: Samsung Galaxy Buds

Sumit Garg: Mi TV 4X Pro

In 2019, I have got quite a bunch of things for myself. And if we are talking about tech, then my biggest purchase must be the Apple iMac. Yes, I finally got it for myself and I also remember putting it as my wishlist for 2019. And, in 2020 I can finally shift my focus to other things. You know, I just can’t ignore my love for big screens. So, after the iMac, the next purchase I want to make for myself is a TV, and I am pretty sure about the one that I want.

The Xiaomi Mi TV, which is a 4K 55-inch LED TV, is the one I have been keeping an eye on for quite some time. I really like the way it looks, I like its picture and sound quality as well, and on top of everything, the price tag it carries is also that won’t burn a hole in my pocket. I mean come on, for 40k, where will I find such an amazing TV. So, the Mi LED TV 4X Pro it is.

Buy: Mi LED TV 4X Pro

Tasneem Akolawala: Learning apps

There’s no big tech purchase that I’ve planned for 2020, mainly because I’ve got a little toddler in the house that is going through a phase of extreme curiosity. I might invest in a few paid learning apps for my kid, but no big bucks will be spent on tech till he grows up a little more. I also kept my 2019 new flagship phone purchase on hold, even though my iPhone 6s went kaput this year, as predicted. I’m making do with a budget Android phone for now that helps fulfil my texting and calling needs.

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#Miscellaneous

[yccnsikk]

( you say I'm crazy, 'cause you don't think I KNOW what you've done. but when you call me baby... I KNOW I'm not the only one. )   ——  task 003. songs about my muse && for my muse

playlist one ; ABOUT MY MUSE [ X ]

about the playlist: track 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15

this playlist was kinda hard to do but i picked out the songs from my library that i felt best represented yoonsik, and all sides of him, too. i won’t explain every song, but some of the most important ones. by clicking the numbers, you will be taken to the song that represents that track number. you can click the X above to find an HD version of the playlist psd. and now below i’ll explain some of the songs on here!

track 003. today i saw the whole world:

this song would mainly be towards his sister; he grew up envious of her even if he never wanted to admit it and this song basically describes how she got pleasure out of seeing him neglected and having all the attention on her and yoonsik could swear sometimes she went out of her way to make sure that their parents doted on her and let yoonsik know he was the mistake. LYRIC: “while you stood over the pavement I was biting the curb. sick entertainment but I'll bet it feels good coming down.”

track 008. brave new world:

another song about his family; he grew up being what you might call the “butt” of the family and he was never given the love and attention he truly wanted, but he rose from it, and in a way, this song is kind of a remembrance of his emotionally abusive parents but also about how he wont “let you in, let you see me cry” about what happened. what’s done is done. LYRIC: “do you really get what you need beating the hell out of me? I'm so tired of getting up off the floor, I won’t take this anymore.”

track 009. september:

this song makes me cry, like, every time i listen to it. and i put this on yoonsik’s muse playlist because i feel like it’s a really good representation of yoonsik’s memories of a child, in a way? because he is very lonesome, he often thinks about what life would have been like if his whole family got along, and he wishes things hadn’t been so bad. but he always remembers that in the end, this is how things are now, and he had to get away eventually. LYRIC: “now it all seems so clear, there's nothing left to fear. so we made our way by finding what was real.”

track 012. the best of me:

i felt bad because i couldn’t find a decent youtube video/audio to link... but this song is yoonsik and it kind of relates to “september” in a way. but instead of a could of been it’s more of why was it this way kind of song, talking about “how can love like that just up and walk away?” this song mainly represents that even though yoonsik seems like he is okay with his family situation, a lot of times he isn’t, and he spends a lot of time being upset over it and wishing he could have a mom, dad, sibling, whoever to depend on like he sees other people have. LYRIC: “girl I always start this way, then I end up in a bottle screaming out your name. and punching the walls, carrying on like I've gone insane.”

track 013. anywhere but here:

ahhh another country song... but this one is very specific to yoonsik, too. i think this one would be towards a lot of people in his life; his sister, mother, father, even wonjae, because... like... yoonsik doesn’t like letting people know he isn’t better off without them, and he would much rather have everyone think he is living and living fine when in reality he isn’t. at all. LYRIC: “tell her that I'm happy and I've moved on, better than I've ever been. just don't tell her that you saw me drowning in this bottle trying to make her disappear.”

playlist two ; FOR MY MUSE [ X ]

about the playlist: track 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  22  23

i like to imagine that all my muses are very diverse in music like i am, but i tried to really stick to a few certain genres for yoonsik. of course he loves indie music but i wanted to reach out of that zone and show other music he listens to besides that, because he does listen to a lot more!  one major thing, though, is that yoonsik likes genres but he also likes songs he can relate to. and if he finds an emotional attachment with the song, he will almost always like it. you can click the X above to find an HD version of the playlist psd. and now below i’ll explain some of the songs on here!

track 003. sober saturday night:

i like to believe yoonsik listened to this song a lot after he broke up with wonjae ( @wcnjae ) , mainly because it’s about not being able to get over someone and yoonsik was probably heartbroken to the point where he refused to drink, smoke, get out of bed, and he probably called out of work a lot, too. he never wanted to talk to people and it took him weeks to finally get on his feet again, but he still listens to this song and almost falls back into his old ways. LYRIC: “I'm not out there getting high underneath some neon lights. ain't no whiskey strong enough to make things right.”

track 006. come back...be here:

this is one of those songs yoonsik relates to but to his family. the irony is that he was the one who left his family by running away one day and never going back, but he still feels like his family was the one who left him out to dry in the first place, and it was all so rushed in how he found out. and he wants to keep himself distant from his parents, but he also longs to have them back in his life, except what he wants isn’t his parents, but the stereotypical parents that he knows he will never have. LYRIC: “taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me. I can't help but wish you took me with you.”

track 007. another you:

i’m a sucker for songs like this and this one would also remind yoonsik of wonjae, most likely, because wonjae was really his first and only love? and the only person he ever really cared about and wanted so much in his life. he made him feel like everything truly was okay and he would give anything to have him back. he knows he won’t find someone like him again, maybe not even someone as good as him, but, i guess time will tell for him. LYRIC: “and like the portraits in the halls (can't help but think), I wish you were staring back at me (but you're gone).”

track 020. you, clouds, rain:

you guys might not realize juST HOW MUCH one person can damage yoonsik’s life but wonjae is one of those people and this is another song that reminds him of wonjae. because yoonsik does often think about going to his house, stopping by his place, doing something out of the blue and begging wonjae to come back to him, to be with him again, anything if it means he can have that happiness back in his life again. he loves wonjae; he always has and he always will. LYRIC: “for the first time in a while, I thought about you today. I deliberately look for a song we listened to together.”

this was a pAIN IN THE ASS TO DO but i had a lot of fun doing it. i also do have a playlist of songs for yoonsik on my spotify you can find if you click here, but it’s more of a mix of all these songs together. anyway, if you read all this ish, congRADULATIONS OKAY.

#this literally took me ALL DAY TO DO BECAUSE I DID SO FUCKING MUCH AIREFWOJSD #im weeping i want to do taeil's but im TIRED #im gnna do some replies first ig #seoultask #☀;; ❪ edits ❫

[fluentlanguage]

#clearthelist April 2019: How I Keep Motivation for Learning Languages

Hello and welcome to #clearthelist, a monthly language learning goals round-up. This blog round-up of goal trackers is hosted by Lindsay Williams and Shannon Kennedy here.

What Happened in July?

July 2019 seemed like a long month with lots going on. Here at Fluent, I’m currently head down in some preparation work for big things to come later in the year, such as my first membership community and a course update for the Language Habit Toolkit.

I spent 10 beautiful days during June on holiday visiting Hamburg and the German island of Fehmarn. My first island and my first ever experience of the famous German Strandkorb. Fehmarn is gorgeous and I didn’t want to leave.

In the following week, Britain braved a heatwave and I achieved a particular personal goal: my British citizenship. I am now a dual national, which was a move entirely motivated by Brexit and therefore bittersweet at best.

Fun fact 1: At the ceremony I had to say a pledge of allegiance. I asked to do it in Welsh but was denied because "we have to be able to understand you". I now speak more British languages than the Brits who held my citizenship ceremony.

The Fluent Show

This month I was pleased to publish five podcast episodes, all of which just stand their own. My favourite conversation was with María Ortega Garcia, giving me such a zest for play in how I teach.

And I can’t leave you without recommending the episode Indigenous Languages Explained, which is a topic that you’ll find both important and interesting.

The Fluent Show also hit a huge milestone this week. We counted ONE MILLION DOWNLOADS 😲in the last two years. It’s an absolute whopper number and made me so excited and proud. Thank you, listeners!

Time to get to those language goals now then…oh my.

Language Goals and Progress

Fun fact 2: When I do not print out my goals or write them by hand and pin them on the wall behind my computer monitor, I don’t do as much towards them. Fancy that. It’s a reminder that even faint awareness of our goals can help us move towards them.

Let’s talk about Welsh first.

Welsh Language Maintenance

This was a maintenance month where I didn’t focus so much on the Welsh language. I picked up the book Ffenestri by Lois Arnold - picked it up from my shelf, that is - and finally started reading it during our long train journey to Hamburg. This book is so lovely. It is divided into 3 levels and I breezed through the beginner section and most of the intermediate section. I’m a B1/B2 reader in my book!

After the holiday, I’d not had the chance to pick the book back up…but I look forward to the next parts.

In terms of listening and writing, there wasn’t daily contact but still a consistent stream of language input through S4C and even my Intermediate Grammar book.

Only thing…I didn’t speak a lot of the language at all. It’s a classic problem for those of us who live further away from our target language communities, and the answer is to simply rope in friends or book more online lessons.

Welsh is now a pleasure language for me, one that I enjoy every time I get to experience it. Sadly I’m missing the Eisteddfod this year, but I’m eager to plan my next trip to Cymru.

Chinese Language Progress

Now, for my little Chinese progress.

Listening

I watched the odd YouTube video and tried out a few resources, but like in previous months I know I’ve got a gap here. Might be time to purchase a course with practice audio.

The good thing: I’ve discovered Mandopop and am now happily bouncing around Spotify so that I can get into more of a positive mindset with Mandarin Chinese.

Reading

I had high hopes that I would make lots of progress using Lingq, but instead the progress was somewhat slack as I found myself reviewing vocabulary rather than adding new words.

In the long run, I’m sure I’ll be glad that I didn’t just press on to get ego numbers. But right now, it’s a bit of a ¯(ツ)/¯._

My biggest reading contact comes from the language learning apps that I fall back on while I’m studying: Drops, Lingodeer, Memrise. This month was a strong showing for the apps, which kind of goes to show how little concentration time I put in.

Speaking

I took one italki lesson and enjoyed it, didn’t really speak a lot more than that.

Writing

2 pages of vocab notes after reviewing the italki lesson, and I’ve been writing a few little pages of introduction stuff as well.

A Word on The Value of My Vision Goal

In July I lost track of tracking, and now that it’s coming round to review time I can feel the impact. I’m a great Chinese student when I sit down and focus, when I’m in the habit, when I want to. But after some time off, I wasn’t in a good routine.

When you are at a beginner level in any language, that routine is incredibly important. Once you can speak, enjoy TV, read, everything becomes easier to integrate.

So I’m definitely a beginner and for a few minutes I was even considering throwing the towel. But I am not ready to abandon this project! I want to understand more Chinese when I hear it, chat to a few people, initiate conversations. I am happy to get the study materials back out and spend 15 minutes on them every day.

You can’t always keep up the same levels of motivation and action. To learn a language in a busy life, you need a moment to remember the big picture.

If you want to learn more about the importance of a vision goal, this blog article is a good start: How To Learn A New Language With Smart And Useful Goals

Language Goals for August 2019

Let’s be realistic: I’m spending almost 2 weeks of this month travelling. I’m unlikely to be carrying around a Chinese book or running into lots of Welsh speakers.

With that in mind, who am I to give up, right? Here are my goals for the month:

Welsh Language Goals

Mae popeth yn iawn, everything’s okay with Welsh. I’d only love to speak more so I’ll have to make sure that I have one or two real conversations with someone. Please volunteer in the comments. 🤗

Chinese Language Goals

I am going to travel with my phone and iPad, so this month my goals are digital.

Listening

Skipping this, except for more of the Mandopop.

Reading

I am reading a story on Lingq and will continue with it, hopefully making more Lingqs in the process. I will say I’d like to get to 100 Lingqs, bearing in mind my slow pace as I do review everything several times.

Speaking

I am in the market for a new tutor, and I’m also going to record a few videos of myself speaking Chinese to post on Instagram or share with a tutor. I live in such a student town that I also imagine it might be lots of fun to find a local exchange partner…but I’ll do that once I have acquired some basic level of decent skill.

Writing

I’ll continue to write by hand (characters and pinyin) while I’m home when I have time, but my only firm goal is to figure out how to type characters on an iPhone.

And that’s it for my round-up and goals for August 2018!

How do You Record Your Goals?

How do you keep track? Tell me in the comments below!

#clearthelist #goalsetting #goals #language goals #vision goals #motivation