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#something is rotten in the state of Transylvania
hamletthesanedane · 2 years
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seeing a lot of posts online about me being some freak called Jonathan harker’s “blorbo” and getting increasingly uncomfortable with everything
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trisscar368 · 2 years
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Jonathan Harker is misquoting Hamlet.
“Up to now I never quite knew what Shakespeare meant when he made Hamlet say:—
"My tablets! quick, my tablets!
'Tis meet that I put it down," etc.,
for now, feeling as though my own brain were unhinged or as if the shock had come which must end in its undoing, I turn to my diary for repose. The habit of entering accurately must help to soothe me.”
The passage in question is from Act 1, scene 5 (line 107 to be precise).
Yea, from the table of my memory
I'll wipe away all trivial fond records,
All saws of books, all forms, all pressures past,
That youth and observation copied there;
And thy commandment all alone shall live
Within the book and volume of my brain,
Unmix'd with baser matter: yes, by heaven!
O most pernicious woman!
O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!
My tables,--meet it is I set it down,
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain
Hamlet here has just been confronted by the ghost of his father the King, and told that his mother the Queen helped his Uncle to kill his father. He’s had a very similar realization to dear Jonathan that something is deeply, unnaturally wrong. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark Transylvania, and the supernatural walks the earth.
Now prior to the play beginning, Hamlet was a student at Wittenberg, which is a university town in Germany (where Martin Luther and many reformers taught, and known as the home of one Doctor Johannes Faust). The tables he’s referencing are writing tables - a rather ingenious erasable notebook. The pages were covered in wax, and you could make notes with a metal stylus and then wipe the page clean with a wet sponge. When Hamlet was written there were no graphite pencils (pensils, which are mentioned prior to that era, were a type of paintbrush) and fountain pens wouldn’t be invented till the 1700s. If you were going to write something in ink you needed someplace to sit; a writing table was portable, like Jonathan’s journal. But they were expensive to make, and by the 1890s the technology was long forgotten. [x]
So dear Jonathan is misquoting a passage about memory and note taking, saying now he understands why taking writing things down is so important. But Jonathan doesn’t have the history to understand what those “tablets” actually were. That was lost when modern technology came about. And he doesn’t understand what Hamlet is doing.
It’s easy in context to understand that the reference is to school and note taking, but you must have the whole instead of just the one line to see the picture. Hamlet is replacing his prior life with this new knowledge and commandment (avenge me!), he is rewriting himself and starting down a dangerous path. He’s been exposed to a horror and it’s changed the genre of his life.
That is very accurate. Jonathan just doesn’t understand yet. Nor does he understand how applicable the passage is to the Count - one may smile, and smile, and still be a villain. All the politeness and courtesies Dracula extends hides something dangerous.
It’s very in theme with the novel - it’s not until Mina and Jonathan begin to gather all the letters and journals, putting together the context, that they understand what they’re dealing with. Something forgotten, something lost when the world modernized.
——
Now, there is a Doyleist reason that Jonathan is misquoting this passage - reportedly a friend of Stoker’s, Henry Irving, insisted on the line being said thus during his performances of Hamlet. Irving was rather well known for misquoting Shakespeare and his performances sound … colorful, to say the least. So there is at least one reference to a man who sounds very like a certain Count slapping on a mustache to pretend to be a carriage driver :D
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flutteringphalanges · 4 years
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Summary:  After centuries together, an unexpected astronomical event occurs that causes the Earth to slowly be absorbed by the Sun. As the end of the world draws near, Dracula and Agatha spend their final moments together. Embracing their love in an otherwise chaotic conclusion. *Warning: Major Character Deaths*
Rating: T (M is if I choose to release the alternate ending)
Ship: Dracula/Agatha Status: Complete
Read on FFN and AO3
A/N:  This is a rather dark, but romantic one shot. Yes, I know the sun wouldn’t do this, but for story purposes and how the Sun played an important role in Dracula, it seemed fitting. I hope you guys like it (or find some sort of appreciation since, well, two major character deaths). Might consider releasing the M rated ending that goes along with the picture above. Feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy! -Jen
                                        When We Collide
In reality, something was bound to happen eventually. As the years wore on, the planet had become more and more of a wasteland punished by mankind. Overpopulation. Pollution poisoning the very air needed to flourish. The sands of time had been emptying away for decades. Centuries. The only surprise was how quickly everything came crashing down.
Agatha carefully examined every dress hanging from the rack in her closet. Her eyes studied them, feeling the fabric between her fingers. Humming a nameless tone, she finally decided upon a dusty blue summer dress. It felt fitting all things considered. A smile graced her features as she took it down and began to change.
Colonizing on other planets had been a failed task. For a few decades, a select few had been sent to live on Mars. But the experiment only lasted for so long before the leaders of the world and scientific communities pulled the metaphorical plug. Earth proved to be the only habitable planet. A place that too soon would be just as lifeless.
She decided to leave her hair down that day. Usually how she always wore it. No silly updos or complicated styles. Just normal. How she liked it. How Dracula liked it. Smoothing out the creases on her dress, the former nun exited the room, closing the door one last time.
The television was on in the living room programmed to the news. Her eyes flickered briefly to the screen, taking in the images of panic broad-casted across it. Even with less than twenty four hours left, some people still seemed to have hopes of escaping. Hiding. While others just wanted nothing more to add to the mayhem and disorder. She turned back around, paying no mind to it as the sound of footsteps pulled her attention away from the distorted screams.
"You look utterly exquisite."
Dracula smiled broadly as he strode over and took her hand in his. She was unable to suppress a small chuckle when he brought it to his lips and kissed the top gently. How gentlemanly of him. Letting her arm fall back to her side, she looked her husband over. Well-groomed, as he always was. For a moment, a wave of sadness fluttered in her still heart as she gazed into his dark eyes. Even though she'd known him so well for centuries, she couldn't bear the idea of being apart. But she quickly pushed past that, not wanting to upset him too.
"You look quite presentable yourself." And she pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Always have a way with cleaning up nicely."
The Count smiled before a flash of recognition crossed his features. "Oh, I got you a little something." Agatha watched as he hurried back into the kitchen only to return with a bouquet of fabric lilacs. "I know they aren't the real thing," he admitted as she took them. "But you can't find live flowers nowadays."
"They're beautiful," she smiled. "Thank you."
Dracula walked over and turned off the television just as the sounds of gunfire and screams vibrated through the speakers. He made his way back over to her, reaching down to interlock his fingers with her free hand. She felt his cool skin against the rising heat of their very home. The hot temperatures didn't bother either of them. Their flesh void of blisters and burns. A vampiric perk.
"I was doing some deep thinking this morning," Dracula began. "About where we should go? I thought about the shore, but it'll most likely be crowded. People are throwing parties. An interesting way to celebrate the end."
"I've never been one for parties." She admitted, squeezing his hand. "Where else?"
"The old abbey is out of the question for obvious reasons." He glanced down at the watch on his wrist-a gift from Agatha from years ago. "Fylingdales Moor in Scarborough? It'll be a walk, but we have all the time in the world." The vampire snorted at his morbid joke. "What do you say?"
Agatha pondered his words before giving him a smile. "It's a good thing I have my walking shoes then."
When the word broke out about what was happening, the media ate it up alive. Theories. Conspiracies. Not a place, person, or thing was safe from being blamed. In the end, no one knew exactly why it was happening. Why the very star that provided so much for life was now about to extinguish it all. The outcome was simple, the Sun was absorbing the Earth at record speed. As it turned out, the damned thing was really deadly to vampires after all. Oh the irony of it.
The earth and its vegetation surrounding the little manor Dracula had built for the two of them had grown brown and dusty. As the sun's rays drew closer, everything had begun to wilt away. Agatha tried not to look at her garden, at the ruined flower beds she'd put so much effort into. Even the vegetables she'd tended to-all of the produce she gave away for free at the farmer's market-gone.
"You always had the prettiest roses," Dracula said, breaking the silence. "I don't care what the judges at the festival said. You should've let me take out Mrs. Robertson when I had the chance."
"Murder is not the answer when winning a competition." His wife stated, rolling her eyes. "Besides, she was old. I would've had an eternity to beat another."
Dracula visibly flinched and Agatha felt a pang of guilt. He had, after all, promised her the world. Enteral life. Immortality. And yet, she felt truly fulfilled. Her experiences, her memories, how she treasured them. It was for those reasons she was at peace with what was coming. Agatha only wished Dracula felt the same.
"Dracula," she began. "I think we should talk…"
"No," the vampire said abruptly. "We agreed that today was going to be a good day. Let's not ruin it with such discussions." Agatha sighed in defeat as the man pulled her along. "Remember our trip to Sweden?"
"You mean the one where I refused to let you feed off an innocent Swedish man and thus you were unable to successfully pick up the language?" She smirked at the memory. "If I recall correctly, I believe you called our innkeeper a 'rotten potato'."
"You're lucky he didn't kick us out," Dracula remarked. "We would've been forced to sleep on a pile of rotten potatoes then." He couldn't help but smile at the sound of Agatha's laugh. "Quite frankly, I don't know how I've managed to put up with you for so long. You can be quite domineering you know."
"If it weren't for me, you've been lost a long time ago," she countered. "You're lucky to have me around, Count Dracula."
He met her eyes, his mouth curving into a genuine grin. "I suppose I can't argue with that."
Besides the sound of their footsteps, the environment around them was quiet. Many of the animals had succumbed to rising climate change. As water sources dried up, the creatures that depended on them died too. Agatha distinctly recalled walking by Whitby beach one afternoon to find that much of the shore had been covered with decaying fish carcasses. The smell was almost so unbearable that her stomach lurched. There weren't any visitors that day, or even the week that followed.
"We really should have reconsidered going back to Transylvania," Dracula stated, breaking the silence. "It would've been nice to see the castle again. Or even Hungary?"
"Yes, because we had the greatest time in Budapest." Agatha replied, giving him a look. "No, England has been our home for so long. It seems fitting that we stayed here. It's nostalgic."
"You and your sentimental nature," he husband scoffed. "Sometimes I wonder if you reverted back into your human form."
"And would you still love me if I had?" She questioned, studied his face carefully. "If I was human?"
"Even if you put a stake to my chest and called me a despicable beast-which, I might have, you've done in the past, I would most certainly." The vampire smiled and took her into his arms, kissing her softly. "You were always my most promising experiment."
"You and your elegant way with words." Agatha smirked, rolling her eyes. "I should have worked with you on that. But it would've taken away from that charismatic charm of yours."
"Are you mocking me?" Dracula asked, a brow cocked.
"Just merely stating a point." She answered, reaching down to once again reclaim his hand. For a second, her eyes glanced up towards the sky noting how scarlet it'd already become. "We should hurry. I'd like to enjoy the fields before it's too late."
It was odd that despite the millions of people who called England their residence were not out and about. Not once since they'd left their house had they come across another person. Not that they were complaining, both Dracula and Agatha wanted privacy. And as they approached the rolling hills of their destination, the vampires stopped.
"This looks like a lovely place." Agatha said, turning to Dracula. "Wouldn't you agree?"
The elder vampire's face had fallen void of emotion. He let go of his mate's hand and stared upwards, the corners of his lips turning downwards into a frown. Agatha forced a smile as she watched him, trying to hide her own disappointment. The air was getting hotter and they both knew their time was closing in.
"I lied to you."
At first, Agatha wasn't quite sure if she heard him right. It was an odd statement, something she hadn't expected. When she tried to catch his eyes, he didn't meet hers. Instead, he continued to look off into the distant as if deep in thought.
"Dracula…" She said hesitantly, reaching out to grab his arm. "What are you talking about? What do you mean you lied?"
The man merely sighed, pinching the brim of his nose before finally finding it in him to face his wife. "I promised you forever," he exclaimed. "From the moment I turned you, I assured you that I would make you last. Bond together for eternity. But this," he wildly motioned at the sky. "Is not what I meant."
"No, you're right…" Agatha began, moving closer. "It wasn't what either of us expected. But my dearest Count, you did give me a full life. Centuries that I would have otherwise never had." She reached up, resting a hand against his cool cheek. "I'm not upset or scared about what is to come. I'm not alone. I have you, don't I?"
"Well yes," Dracula agreed, still grimacing. "But now I've doomed us to becoming nothing more than ash-if we are lucky to become only that."
"Then let us become ash, or particles, or whatever else happens when we burn," she murmured. "If this was what life had intended for us, then in the end, I'm glad I was with you." Agatha chuckled softly, shaking her head. "Funny to think I wouldn't have agreed to that those many, many centuries ago. Back at the convent. You remember yes?"
"How could I forget," he smirked. "What a feisty personality you had as a nun."
"We went from wanting to kill each other to wanting to die together." Agatha sighed, gazing deep into his eyes. "Irony has truly followed us throughout the years. But I wouldn't change a second of it. Not a moment." The ground around them began to smoke, but she ignored it. "Do you love me, Count Dracula?"
"More than I'll ever be able to comprehend." He answered, pulling her close. "You, my beloved, have always been my true bride."
The air was scorching now, a blinding orange glow radiating from every direction. The skirt of Agatha's dress was now encircled by a brilliant ring of red flame. She didn't seem to notice though as she pushed herself up to kiss Dracula on the mouth hard. His arms wrapped around her as he held her close.
"Don't let go." she whispered, allowing her eyes to close for one last time.
"Never," he answered. "Not in a million years."
And together, as the mighty star drew in closer, the lovers were pulled into the Sun's welcoming embrace. Forever lost in their eternal love.
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magnusmadssen · 5 years
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Fiction and Non Fiction to read this Halloween.
Hey Kids!
Halloween has arrived at the library! Time to get your scare on reading up about the history of Halloween; getting some cool ideas for Halloween costumes and crafts and maybe some fiction for a quiet (scare) night in.
Enjoy!
Celebrate Halloween.
Describes the origins of Halloween and how various countries celebrate it. Suggested level: junior, primary.
10 minute Halloween crafts.
In 10 Minute Crafts: Halloween, children can learn how to make Halloween decorations such as bat hangings and black cat lanterns and create spookily brilliant zombie finger puppets and witches on broomsticks, plus lots more amazing Halloween ideas.
How to create spectacular Halloween costumes.
“Provides step-by-step instructions for making Halloween costumes using household materials”–Provided by publisher.
Ghoulish get-ups.
“Fifi Colston shares her years of experience in costuming and the wearable arts. Crammed with tricky tips and terrifying techniques for making an outrageous outfit for any occasion, especially Halloween”–Publisher information.
Laugh-out-loud spooky jokes for kids.
A spooktacular collection of jokes about goblins, ghouls and other Halloween-oriented subjects.– Source other than Library of Congress.
Haunted Halloween : movie novel.
When Sonny and Sam find a ventriloquist dummy labeled “Slappy” in an abandoned house and bring him home, the dummy comes to life, and soon begins using dark magic powers to make Halloween a living nightmare in town.
The secrets tree.
It’s Halloween at Penhallow Hall and while celebrations are in full swing at the stately home, Polly and Rex are in search of a new ghost dog. Down in the old stable block they come across a dog’s head carved in a wooden door and wake a terrier called Patch. The little dog is terrified of the changes to his old home and runs off. When Polly and Rex find Patch hiding in a hollow tree they find themselves on the trail of an even greater mystery. Inside the tree is a coded message from Patch’s master, Jack, to his older brother. From Patch’s description Polly and Rex realize that Jack’s brother must have been a highwayman! But the message remains unread. Can Polly and Rex discover what happened to the brothers?
  Frankie Fish and the Viking fiasco.
From Australia’s favourite comedian Peter Helliar comes the third adventure in his hilarious and best-selling Frankie Fishseries! Just when you thought our time-travellers had everything under control, it all comes crashing down … Best friends Frankie and Drew are desperate to win this year’s Halloween costume parade, and they know exactly what will give them the edge: authentic Viking costumes from olden-day Norway! The plan is simple: use their secret Sonic Suitcase to get in, get helmets, and get out. But they weren’t counting on accidentally bringing back a Viking called Birger with them – plus his angry brother Brynjar, who really has it in for Frankie and Drew. Can the boys round up the vikings, get them back home and win the costume parade before anyone discovers what they’ve done?
  Stumpkin.
Stumpkin is the most handsome pumpkin on the block. He’s as orange as a traffic cone! Twice as round as a basketball! He has no bad side! He’s perfect choice for a Halloween jack-o-lantern. There’s just one problem–Stumpkin has a stump, not a stem. And no one seems to want a stemless jack-o-lantern for their window. As Halloween night approaches, more and more of his fellow pumpkins leave, but poor Stumpkin remains. Will anyone give Stumpkin his chance to shine?
  Apocalypse.
It’s Benjamin Roy’s first Halloween as a zombie and he’s keen to see if being a real one gets him more candy. But it doesn’t take long before the tricks become dangerous and the treats turn deadly. Then when the only bridge out of town is destroyed, and corpses start creeping from their caskets, he realises there’s something rotten in his town and it’s not just the zombies… But how will Ben save anyone else, when he’s barely alive himself?
  Hotel Transylvania. Vol. 1 : Kakieland katastrophe.
When the owner of a local amusement park starts a campaign claiming monsters are scary, it is up to Drac and the gang to prove him wrong and save the hotel from ruin.
Fiction and Non Fiction to read this Halloween. syndicated from https://paintballreviewsgun.wordpress.com/
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marilynngmesalo · 6 years
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‘The Meg’ gobbles up the box office
‘The Meg’ gobbles up the box office https://ift.tt/eA8V8J ‘The Meg’ gobbles up the box office
NEW YORK — Adding to Hollywood’s sizzling summer, the shark thriller The Meg opened well above expectations with an estimated US$44.5 million in ticket sales, while Spike Lee had his best debut in a decade.
The Meg had been forecast by some analysts for closer to half that total. An American-Chinese co-production between Warner Bros. and China’s Gravity Pictures, it also debuted well overseas, taking in $50.3 million in China and totalling $96.8 million internationally, according to studio estimates Sunday.
With an international cast led by Jason Statham and featuring Li Bingbing, Rainn Wilson and Winston Chao, The Meg cost at least $130 million to make.
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Following hits, such as The Shallows and 47 Meters Down, the shark movie — 43 years after Steven Spielberg’s Jaws — has been showing surprising bite at the box office. Jeff Goldstein, distribution chief for Warner Bros., said late summer was ideal timing for The Meg.
“This was a fun, dumb popcorn movie that just looked interesting to the public everywhere around the world,” Goldstein said. “We dug our heels in and said: This is the right time to go. The last movie, as kids are going back to school. All the big blockbusters have played off. We’re in a space by ourselves.”
Traditionally a sleepy time at the box office, August has helped cement a comeback summer for the movie business. Weekend business was up 25% from last year, and the summer is up 11.3%, according to comScore. For Warner Bros., which on Wednesday will release the highly touted Crazy Rich Asians, The Meg is the studio’s best opening this year, besting even Spielberg’s own Ready Player One.
After two weeks at no. 1, Mission: Impossible — Fallout slid to second place in its third weekend with $20 million. The Paramount Pictures release starring Tom Cruise has pulled in $162 million in three weeks.
Lee’s critically acclaimed BlacKkKlansman also opened strongly with $10.8 million in 1,512 theatres. The Focus Features release, which took the Grand Prix at the Cannes Film Festival in May, was timed to the anniversary of the violent clashes between white nationalists and anti-racism counter protesters in Charlottesville, Va. Lee’s film, produced by Jordan Peele (Get Out), is a true-life tale of African-American police detective Ron Stallworth (played by John David Washington, son of Denzel), who in 1979 infiltrated a Colorado Springs, Colorado, cell of the Ku Klux Klan.
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“The anniversary of Charlottesville was something that was very key to Spike,” said Lisa Bunnell, Focus’ president of distribution. “It’s obviously a very emotional film that reflects the times. When audiences respond to that, it’s what cinema is all about. The state of the country is such that we’re all feeling really conflicted and alone. This movie is a call to action, and a movie that brings people together.”
It’s Lee’s best debut since 2006′s Inside Man.
Sony Screen Gem’s PG-13-rated Slender Man didn’t catch on the way some horror releases have this year. The film’s 15% “rotten” Rotten Tomatoes rating probably didn’t help. Audiences also gave it a seldom seen D-minus CinemaScore. But with a $10 million budget, the tale of an internet-famous boogeyman has a quick path to profitability for Sony.
The overall box office continues to be a roll, one that could continue next week with the landmark Crazy Rich Asians.
“People are loving going to the movies right now, and I think the diversity of the content is really fuelling a lot of enthusiasm,” said Paul Dergarabedian, senior media analyst for comScore. “There are so many different types of movies that you can see from every genre, for every audience.”
Estimated ticket sales for Friday through Sunday at U.S. and Canadian theatres, according to comScore. Where available, the latest international numbers for Friday through Sunday also are included. Final domestic figures will be released Monday.
REVIEW: Shark thriller ’The Meg’ goes deep, stays shallow
REVIEW: ’BlacKkKlansman’ immensely entertaining
1. The Meg, $44.5 million ($96.8 million international).
2. Mission: Impossible — Fallout, $20 million.
3. Christopher Robin, $12.4 million.
4. Slender Man, $11.3 million.
5. BlacKkKlansman, $10.8 million.
6. The Spy Who Dumped Me, $6.6 million.
7. Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, $5.8 million.
8. The Equalizer 2, $5.5 million.
9. Hotel Transylvania 3, $5.1 million.
10. Ant-Man and the Wasp, $4 million.
___
Estimated ticket sales for Friday through Sunday at international theaters (excluding the U.S. and Canada), according to comScore:
1. The Meg, $96.8 million
2. iPartment, $80 million.
3. The Island, $77.2 million.
4. Mission: Impossible — Fallout, $38.4 million.
5. Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, $21.5 million.
6. Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation, $17.1 million.
7. Along With The Gods: The Last 49 Days, $15.9 million.
8. The Spy Gone North, $15 million.
9. Incredibles 2, $14.6 million.
10. Hello Mr. Billionaire, $10.9 million.
Canoe Click for update news world news https://ift.tt/2nuGVZ4 world news
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hamletthesanedane · 2 years
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Took a break from not murdering my uncle to continue not murdering my uncle and investigate the jonathon harker making me his blorbo situation.
Not only has this artless rogue misrepresented what I said, but you insatiable groundlings don’t even understand the meaning of mine own words.
Harker quotes me dishonestly thus;
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And what I actually said upon swearing vengeance for my father:
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Now, you knavish rogues all, here I’m talking bout my stupid fuckin uncle-dad Claudius who I’ve just discovered has murdered my father, which I heard from his very own ghostly mouth and then I lit’rally pissed myself.
More to the matter. “Tables” means “notebook” in the abomination you’ve made of our language. I am writing to remind myself, because I can’t keep track of jack shit anymore, that “one may smile and smile and be a villain…” who is my fuckinf uncle.
So. Am I quite understood? It’s just…
Look I got a lot going on rn. My gf is prolly gonna dump me, my moms a ho, my dad is dead, my friends from high school just showed up and won’t leave me alone and I have to kill my head of state who is also my Dad the Second (on paper but not in heart.) if this Englishman (derogatory) harker fellow wants to trade tips on dealing with the undead, I’m game, but otherwise he needs to shuzzup.
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