#sorry for oversharing in the internet it will happen again. I feel like I'm going insane.

[neonpinksnake]

ME WHEN. MY FAMILY IS UNABLE TO BE NORMAL ABOUT MY EMOTIONS SO I AM FORCED TO EITHER TAKE THEIR ANGER AT ME AND SHUT ANY NEGATIVE EMOTION I HAVE OR PRESENT NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AND RISK GETTING FUCKING KICKED OUT.

#my mom is Built Different. She's just Like That. She's a Professional Gaslighter. I am going to Kill Myse- #<- joke. not admissible in court and not something to be taken seriously #'hey mom I feel angry. I need some time today' #'And what did I do to you? Why are you saying it's my fault. All you do is make ME angry and I never say anything about it' (mom) #'what. I didn't. what. I didn't say it was your fault-' #'If you hate me so much I should justleave this house. why don't you go find another mother huh? yeah. go do that. we'll see how it goes' #<- actual conversation I once had. not too long ago. actually it was last year. I am 22 she's 56. #once she hit me with the 'I can't keep suffering for your choices' when I told her I needed time cause I felt bad #she lectured me about the importance of going to university (yelling. she was yelling and would not let me go) when #I told her I didn't feel well and might be sick so I didn't want to go to uni #sorry for oversharing in the internet it will happen again. I feel like I'm going insane. #okay last one- once she told me to stop being lazy and keep the bathroom clean. I was vomiting. in front of her at that very second. #also yes I still ask for permission to not go somewhere. I am 22. I genuinely can't keep living like this

[nerves-nebula]

why aren't good things good to you? why do you always insist on it? you never say it outright but that's what I realized it was. I get it could be like the trauma and traumatic teachings or whatever, but still. why can't something just come along and make you appreciate what you have? I'm not going to say "before it's gone" because well duh your people aren't going to leave you, but you at least get the point. I'm only saying it aggressively because I'm tired of you refusing to believe any of your situation is beneficial to you. of course there's bad parts but you're turning the good parts bad. Why?

well first of all- FUCKING RUDE.

you don't know shit about me outside of my artwork and my suicidal vent posts. no amount of me oversharing on the internet will make up for the fact that you don't even know my goddamn name, we are not friends. You're literally anonymous. so maybe back up a second.

second of all I'm not "refusing to believe anything in my situation is beneficial to me"

I'm not REFUSING to believe anything. I'm expressing that I can't help but feel bad despite good things happening to me. I'm expressing my struggles with hyper vigilance and anxiety about things going wrong. I'm expressing how desperate I often feel for an escape because I never feel safe.

I'm only saying it aggressively because I'm tired of you refusing to believe any of your situation is beneficial to you.

this is weirdo behavior right here and not in a good way. YOU are TIRED of me REFUSING to believe in the good of my situation? I'm sorry, did I strap you down and force you to read every vent post on my blog? you think you're tired? imagine how tired I am of feeling this way!

people who don't know me don't have any right to be aggressively confrontational about how I feel.

why can't something just come along and make you appreciate what you have?

I don't know it's almost like I'm mentally ill or something and struggle with insane amounts of overthinking. cRAZY idea I know right?? also you don't know what I do and don't appreciate because once again, we are not friends.

i don't know what made you think this was an appropriate thing to send me, and i won't hold it against you because I can tell you probably have genuine intentions, but don't ever say this shit to me again.

#nnstuff #ask #asks are dickheads

[allylikethecat]

So... I guess... be on the look out for a nine part (one chapter for each A&E visit mentioned in I Would Go Blind) fic about "Infection Fic Verse" Matty and his many trips to A&E through out his life.

this is the anon from this ask and the SCREM i let out when i read this ahhhhhhhh. I had been checking ur page so often but i worked double shifts and finally got the chance to look and OH MY GOD!!! i am so excited you have no idea.

I love your writing and your niche and it makes me sad you were feeling unsure about them :( i lurk on your ao3 and (as of recent) tumblr all the time but im always very quiet lol

Hi Anon!! Welcome back!! This fic is all your fault 😂 I hadn't even considered it until I got your ask, and as I said my instinct was to be like "nope" (this was during the peak of my being emo about my writing episode lol and also i have too many WIPS RIP) but then I held onto it for a few days and ended up writing some words and now its happening- hopefully I'll have the first part / chapter up this week! (And hopefully it lives up to your expectations!) So thank you very much for your message and the inspiration 🥰

Thank you so much for your kind words oh my gosh 🥺 I'm so happy that my weird little niche brand of angst has found a home and an audience and that people are enjoying it! I know I've pushed the envelope in this fandom a few times (sometimes well received, and sometimes not!) but for the most part everyone has been so kind and accepting and welcoming and I hope to continue bringing forward the ~good vibes~ even if we are making Fictional!Matty have a bad day! Also! If you ever want to chat about fic - feel free to send me a DM I promise I'm friendly! 😊

And I'm sorry again for being so dramatic earlier this week! I was feeling super emo about my writing and insecure and therefore oversharing about it on the internet I'm so sorry if I came across as whining or ungrateful- I never intended to make anyone sad and I'm so sorry that I did! I'm so thankful for your continue support and kind messages like these! Especially ones that give me ideas for new fics that I can't wait to share 😉 Thank you again!

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #fanfiction #matty healy rpf #the 1975 rpf #matty healy fanfiction #fanfic #rid me of the blues #keep it kind #nice anon #i feel like you need a name or an emoji #im getting attached im sorry #you gave me this great idea and now i feel like we're friends even if i dont know who you are lol

[jankwritten]

having a hard time existing alone in my head rn so I'm jut gonna kind of dump all of my stressed out bullshit into this post so I can stop just having it all ricochet around in there sorry about that let's hope this immediately gets buried. I don't want to post it but I know that if I don't post it it's going to sit in the back of my mind and I hate that so I just gotta fuckin hit the button and hope nobody reads this WAHOO.

grey is oversharing on the internet again, who woulda guessed. i think part of why i feel the need to post this is because somebody else might feel the same in some capacity and therefore I won't feel so alone. hm. either way: don't read this if you're uncomfortable with strangers on the internet being stupidly open about cringey thoughts and feelings. don't read this if you get secondhand embarrassment either lmao.

edit: the fact that a sugardaddy bot thing just commented on this has reminded me of the absurd beauty that is reality.

i'm having one of those days where everything feels like it's my fault no matter how much I tell myself that it isn't and that it's largely selfish of me to think that I matter so much that I'm the one causing everybody all of their problems. i know that's not true. I know that I might have CONTRIBUTED to some of it by being careless but that doesn't automatically mean that I caused it or it's entirely my fault and that's really hard to contend with for some reason.

i'm terrified that all of my friends and family hate me all of a sudden because I know they don't.

i can't do my homework because my ADHD is out of control and I feel like I'm numb and floating out of my own head every time I even sit and TRY to concentrate on the readings I should have done 4 days ago. I will do my homework and it will take me 3 hours longer than it normally does and that's okay but it doesn't feel like it's okay and I can't control it because everyone i talk to in any medical or serious capacity doesn't seem to take me seriously when I say I think I have ADHD or autism or SOMETHING that does this to me, because I have a 4.0, and I get nothing but As, and that's because I have crippling anxiety that balances it out.

I only just today learned that it's OKAY to tell people when you might not be around much because you're having a bad day. if I start doing that too I feel like i'll just use it like a crutch and never talk to anybody again even though i love talking to people.

i feel like i'm messed up but not messed up enough to really SAY that I'm messed up because all I'm messed up is in my own head and I DID IT to myself, nobody else did it. i'm fucked up in a way that doesn't make sense when I try to explain it because the way it is is just ME, in my OWN HEAD, saying this shit and coming up with things and not being able to forget it or stop thinking about it until it haunts me. maybe that's just what having anxiety is but wow does it feel fucking isolating. like no, my parents never abused me or neglected me, but I grew up terrified that there was always the possibility that they COULD and I got it into my head that there is ALWAYS going to be that possibility which means that I always have to be on my guard and always being the best person I can be so I at least know that when it happens it's not because I deserve it.

i keep looking over at my door expecting someone to walk in and catch me crying about all this and I'm so scared of that that I'm holding off tears in the privacy of my own space for the fear of it. like that can't be normal, can it?

none of this to mention the fact that I think when I got COVID it majorly fucked with my memory and COVID isolation/quarantine for the past 2 years really sapped all of my social understanding and awareness and now every time I leave the house I'm TERRIFIED of having to interact with other people because I just flat out don't know how. i don't really remember anything anymore. what I do remember is always the most anxious parts, the scariest parts because they are what made me feel the most.

ugh. I think everything has been building up to today for weeks now lmao i'm finishing school next week and I'm going to be free for the first time since fuck knows when and I am BRUTALLY TERRIFIED of what comes next. i have all of these obligations and things I need to finish for school too that keep slipping my mind, not to mention the things I need to do for IRL.

#oversharing on the internet is my specialty #not pjo #tw deeply personal shit #tw mental health talk #tw anxiety #yes i know putting this online is a horrible idea and I'm going to regret this later but #what is tumblr for if not for going off on rants about the worst parts of yourself right #you know what writing this did help a little bit though and i'm gonna stand by that #hey if anybody actually reads this shit and relates you're not alone i am in this pit with you mon ami #this mental breakdown brought to you by the 10 weeks of intense study of racism in America that I've done for a class #which has in turn made me contemplate every possible way that I've contributed to that system #and so forth and so forth and so forth spiraling into oblivion about it and whatnot

[timeoverload]

I haven't felt this frustrated in a while. I'm mostly frustrated with myself though. Tonight didn't go the way I hoped it would. I think maybe I should just stop getting my hopes up and everyone else's because I do it every damn time. I'm sorry.

I spent the whole day feeling so anxious that I thought I was going to get sick and that always happens. I don't want to feel like that because I can't function in that state. I spent so much time trying to calm myself down earlier. I wish I could relax. I always go in there shaking like a leaf and I can't control it. It's embarrassing and I hate it so much. I feel like my social anxiety is getting worse instead of better even though I do try to put myself out there.

I feel like I never know the right things to say in the moment and then later on I think of a better response but it's always too late. I was hoping you were going to go outside for a cigarette so I could try to talk to you about stuff again. I guess I didn't ask either so that's my fault. I think next time I will just ask you for a cigarette even though I haven't had one in a long time. I know things have to work out eventually because it feels like it's meant to be and I have faith in that.

I'm sad but I'm not going to let myself cry this time. I'm not going to sit here and complain about it anymore. I really do complain too much and I realize that. I should stop doing that so much on here. I'm feeling like I need to retreat back into my shell. I need to stop oversharing. Sometimes I think I should just get a journal because it would probably be good for me. I'm really not trying to be a drag because I know I can be sometimes. I don't want to bother anyone with my problems.

I'm also realizing how dull I am. I know I need to find hobbies. I wish I could get excited about doing something new. I can't get excited about anything but it's probably just because I'm depressed. I don't think being neurodivergent helps. I'm so tired of doing the same stuff all the time. I think I need to decrease the amount of time I spend on the internet so I probably won't be on here as often. I need a little bit of a break I think.

I really don't want to call in tomorrow because I will probably spend the day feeling guilty. I wish I didn't feel bad about wanting to take care of myself. I don't think I will be in a good place mentally or physically so it would probably be best for me to stay home anyway. I don't think I ate enough today either because it's impossible when I'm nervous. I'm having a beer right now but I'm not going to have any more. I don't even feel like finishing the one I have. I'm going to have to wake up around 3:45 and I don't want to oversleep. If I do stay home tomorrow, I'm going to try to find some books to read or something. I'm planning on working Thursday for sure because I don't have any PTO left.

I guess I'm going to try to decompress the rest of the night. I don't want to get upset. I'm not sure what else to say right now. I don't think I will be awake much longer because I got up at 6:30 and I'm tired. I hope that tomorrow is a better day for everyone.

#personal

[neowinestainedress]

YOOO IM THE ANON THAT REQUESTED THE "close as strangers" ANGST AND I DIDNT READ IT YET UNFORTUNATELY CAUSE I HAVE EXAMS GOING ON

BUUTTT I READ THE RESPONSES TO IT AND HOLLYYYYY SHIIIIITT IT IS SAD KSJDJJSJSHSH

that prompt i gave is actually something which sorta happened to me (started way back in july of this year but we worked things out every time till we reached a breaking point in october on my fucking birthday haha great. and yeah it's been over a month but i am not over it at all) and so i know that reading the fic is gonna reopen ALL the fucking scars which never even closed, but yeah i would actually love to keep oversharing here on the internet but i don't wanna trauma dump BUT YEES ENOUGH DEPRESSION THANK YOU SM FOR WRITING MY REQUESTTT TAKE CARE AND STAY SAFE BESTIE <333333

HIII! Don't worry, take time also because if you have been through it I think it will hurt you a lot so focus on your exams first (GOOD LUCK!)

I feared it wasn't sad enough but yeah, the readers found it so painful so I trust them more than I trust myself. I can't say anything because I will spoil something, but I have a reason why I don't think it's that sad (if you want to rant after you'll read it I'll listen gladly and I'll also explain why)

I'm so sorry it happened on your birthday, I hope you'll feel better soon 💗 you can overshare with me, unless is something I can't say anything about (= something super traumatic) I'm not uncomfortable with that. I hope you'll like it, and maybe it will help feeling less lonely about this. If you want to let me know your opinion I'll be happy. Take care too and good luck again ♡

#anon answered #fic: close as strangers

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: Hi Joe: There's no gentle way of doing this, so I'll just get to it, I'm sorry if you don't want to talk about it but you're free to ignore this if that's the case Joe: but I've been looking for my half-sister, and I think its you Ronnie: if youre basing that on a family resemblance youve shot yourself in the face like Ronnie: reload & keep looking Joe: Yeah, I know Joe: but I ain't Joe: Aside from coming at you with what's on any facebook profile anyway Joe: do you know your biological mum's name or? Ronnie: whos used facebook in a decade thats your 1st fuck up Ronnie: 2nd to reckoning my dna is any of your business Joe: who's putting their date of birth and hometown anywhere else? Joe: you were born in [hospital] right? Ronnie: phone numbers on toilet walls getting played out Ronnie: yeah & Joe: then it is you Joe: everything adds up, you have the right birthday, right place, right last name, and first, still Ronnie: right colour Ronnie: miss me with your schoolboy maths Joe: its your bio dad that's black Ronnie: fuck you i know that Ronnie: read my file well before you stalked me Joe: so do you know her name or nah Ronnie: it was in there Joe: Tess Vickers Joe: she is your mum Ronnie: i came out of her Ronnie: shes not my fucking mum Ronnie: id know you if she was Joe: 'course Joe: that's what I meant Ronnie: pick your words more careful soft lad Joe: she don't have any more Joe: I ain't had to do this before, like Ronnie: made up for her Ronnie: & you Ronnie: only took her how many years to claim her bastards Joe: I don't know why she didn't, only what she's said Joe: but if you wanted to ask her, I could set that up Ronnie: if it took her a bit to recover from goin black i don't need to ask her about that Ronnie: got my own experiences cheers Joe: is there anything you do Ronnie: if i had any questions id have chucked 'em at her when i aged out Joe: fair enough Joe: you wanna ask me anything then Ronnie: you old enough to be cleaning out your mas skeletons & seein if theyll dance for you Joe: not what I'm doing Joe: but I'm 19 Ronnie: course she never kept herself stitched up for long Ronnie: got a taste for it like Joe: by all accounts she met my dad the same year she had to give you up so Ronnie: bet he was proper comforting Ronnie: fucking hell Joe: Must've been Ronnie: if she kept you longer than the hour yeah Joe: I've got 3 brothers and a sister too Ronnie: when did she meet their dads Joe: we've got the same, like Joe: youngest is nearly 5 Ronnie: shes still alive then Ronnie: impressive Joe: is it? Joe: suppose so Ronnie: he got cash your sperm donor Ronnie: less dangerous game that one Joe: they both do alright now but you'd probably aim higher if that was the game you were playing Ronnie: shifting gear aint no game now or back then Ronnie: but she was small time Ronnie: that hand to mouth shit Joe: yeah, for years Joe: her dad's debts not helping none Ronnie: hes gotta be dead Joe: yeah Joe: year I was born Joe: so new mouth to feed and inheriting the neverending debts of John Joe: must've seemed like a great time to have more 'cos my brother is only a year younger than me 👍 Ronnie: least you aint inherited his name Ronnie: like i said insatiable Joe: thank fuck Ronnie: piss poor addiction but fuck it Ronnie: shes keeping 'em fed & clothed this time 👏 Joe: gutted social don't hand out round of applauses no doubt Joe: know she is for a fact 'cos she ended up working for 'em, and fostering two poor kiddies in need Joe: what do you reckon to her addiction now? Ronnie: sounds about right theyd left her Ronnie: state of the cunts running that show Joe: mhmm Ronnie: white kids are easier to love Ronnie: its on the posters like Joe: in theory Joe: but this way she gets to be obsessed with you from afar Ronnie: pay me enough & ill come press my face longingly against her windows Joe: I'll keep it in mind for her birthday or something Ronnie: fuck all else you wanna rock my world with or what Joe: Hmm Joe: hold up whilst I trawl a lifetime of overshare for any more tidbits Ronnie: she aint rotting by the roadside or ashes i can snort means my hearts already broken Ronnie: take your time Joe: sorry to disappoint Joe: suppose by the time you got to your file, it told you she'd run away from Liverpool, yeah? Ronnie: bullshit are you Ronnie: youre loving having another cunt to share it with Ronnie: whats the matter dont your brothers & sister wanna play Joe: I'm the favourite Joe: favourite that's about Joe: they got the gist but no file for them Ronnie: 💔 Joe: you said Joe: so, what you saying, you care if I tell her I found you or what? Ronnie: if it feels good do it baby Ronnie: why would i care Ronnie: shes not gonna show up Joe: what if she did? Ronnie: no fixed address Joe: I've told you she loves a cause Joe: say you don't wanna see her Ronnie: shooting the messenger aint no kill shot Ronnie: youre not invested in me Joe: I'm not not, clearly Joe: I'm the one looking, ain't I Ronnie: let her look under every rock with you Ronnie: i hope one bashes her skull in Joe: alright Joe: I'll pass it on Ronnie: good boy Ronnie: get that sticker on your reward chart Joe: god I hope so Ronnie: 🙏 Joe: Your profile says you're in London, still true? Ronnie: i don't need you at my door either Joe: 🙄 Ronnie: roll your eyes at me again Joe: 🙄🙄 Ronnie: 🖕🖕 Joe: 😏 Ronnie: what the fuck do you want Joe: I've told you Ronnie: nah Ronnie: spit it out Ronnie: youre circling around it stop being a pussy Joe: how am I? Ronnie: what do you want for fucks sake Joe: meet you Ronnie: its not happening Joe: why not Ronnie: i hate that you exist Ronnie: that she got a 2nd chance & i didnt get 1 Joe: that's fair Joe: you can hate me in person Ronnie: i aint goin to prison for killing you Ronnie: you wish Joe: yeah Joe: oh well Ronnie: take your death wish home Ronnie: or on a different part of the internet Joe: awh, cheers for the sisterly advice Ronnie: shut your mouth Ronnie: i ain't your sister Joe: kk Ronnie: dumping all your bullshit on me dont make us related Joe: we are Joe: you not wanting it don't fight biology Ronnie: her not wanting me cancels it all out Joe: not to me Ronnie: i give a shit how you feel Ronnie: youre a stranger with fuck all i want Joe: you ain't checked what I've got Ronnie: until facebook adds income i dont care Joe: 💔 Ronnie: you must look like your da Ronnie: dont be Joe: well you look like her Joe: not that I've seen yours Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: i dont Joe: yeah you do Joe: [sends pics] Ronnie: shut up Joe: alright Joe: catch you around then Ronnie: get it through your head Ronnie: you wont Joe: what you scared for Ronnie: youre having fun trying to mess me up Ronnie: that aint how i get mine Joe: I'm seriously not Joe: I've got the message though, alright Ronnie: youre seriously throwing all this shit at me like im gonna smile as i eat it Ronnie: what the fuck Joe: I don't expect fuck all Joe: I just wanna know you but if you don't then that's alright Joe: I won't message again Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: you aint asked about me Ronnie: you wanna bitch about 'em Joe: that's why I wanna meet you Joe: I've thrown enough questions at you for one convo Ronnie: nah you wanna meet me to see if i proper look like her Joe: I've got eyes Ronnie: if thats what you reckon you see they dont fucking work Ronnie: get down the social & claim Joe: you're fine, its not dead ringer levels Ronnie: im fucking fine cause theres none of her in me Joe: I'm glad for you Ronnie: were not family save your lies Ronnie: i dont need any blows softened Joe: its only me bitching Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: & you can save your tears Ronnie: you already cant see fuck all like Joe: what do you want? Ronnie: too late to give a fuck Ronnie: youve shit over me with this Joe: I'm sorry Ronnie: nah Ronnie: sorry for yourself aint the same Joe: Why would I be sorry for me? Joe: I got everything Ronnie: not how youre framing it Joe: why would you believe me Ronnie: not hard to believe mummy dearest loves me best Ronnie: not like she dumped me fast as she could & legged it Joe: she weren't allowed to keep you, she was 14 with a junkie non-dad to look after you both Ronnie: & what she didnt get any older or get her shit together Ronnie: fuck that Joe: did you want her to come 'round and pick you up 4 years later? Ronnie: she had you cunts instead Joe: so she comes and gets you and the social come with and see the fake bailiffs and the bashed in door and we all go back with you Joe: I see the appeal Ronnie: you reckon i had it better Ronnie: thats what this nancy drew bullshit is about Joe: nice one, genius Joe: in what world is that adding up Ronnie: yours Ronnie: in what world would i have not gone with any cunt to get me out of that place then Joe: I'm telling you why she didn't get you, not telling you why you wouldn't wanna be there Ronnie: youre giving me both Ronnie: cant help yourself Joe: they're the same reason Joe: if she tried to get you, they'd say nah 'cos her life was a mess, simple as Ronnie: & yet here you are Ronnie: not a care kid a single day in your fucking life Ronnie: so like i said she got her shit together in the end Joe: she was 18 when I came around and we got taught how to say the right thing to socials and how to shut our mouths the rest Joe: but that's just what she told me Joe: she probably didn't want you, looking back Ronnie: why would she Ronnie: had a new set up with a cunt that stayed Ronnie: cuter kids Joe: 'cos she loved your da the way only a 14 year old girl can Joe: pro and a con in your favour Joe: does she want the reminders or does she not Ronnie: not Ronnie: youre the only pussy walking memory lane Ronnie: aint her looking Joe: yeah, s'me, so why you chatting at me like I'm the one that fucked you off Joe: not productive Ronnie: cause you are Joe: I've gone to leave loads now Joe: you've clearly got shit to say Joe: so just say it at me, I've already offered that n'all Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: i didnt ask for this Ronnie: she was in the ground for all i knew Joe: she still can be Joe: I ain't telling Ronnie: nah you opened your gob & let all that shite out Ronnie: i couldve been about to slit my throat or pull a shift Joe: you could've easily found out she weren't dead yourself too Ronnie: what should it tell you that i didnt Joe: ignorance ain't such bliss I've tipped you over the edge Ronnie: you dont know shit Ronnie: how does yours feel Joe: how do you think Ronnie: i think you should ask if people have got time & space to spin out before you fuck with their heads Ronnie: i think you should go suck a dick mckenna Joe: why should I? Joe: no one asked me and I owe you shit Ronnie: she owes me Ronnie: youre nothing Ronnie: you dont see me knocking cause im not looking for answers & theres fuck all else to collect by the sounds of it Joe: then fucking collect Ronnie: talk to your ma like that Joe: hit me up when you stop being scared Ronnie: keep it up and ill smash in your face Joe: how Joe: you don't wanna meet Ronnie: dont flatter yourself nancy drew Ronnie: i can still kick your door in Ronnie: be like the baliffs are back Ronnie: you can revisit your childhood Joe: now who wants to go for a jaunt down memory lane Ronnie: you wish Joe: 🙏 Ronnie: i reckon your imaginary friends gotta be sick of your bullshit by now Joe: no doubt, nancy drew Ronnie: we cant both be nancy Joe: alright you be sid then Ronnie: still not gonna kill you baby Ronnie: but youre getting warmer Joe: I know, stalked you, remember Ronnie: get a hobby or habit mckenna Ronnie: your little misery boners aint cute Joe: oh I got plenty of thoses Joe: your concern is, kinda Ronnie: youve thrown me into the big sister deep end Ronnie: sounds like how you want it Joe: very obliging Ronnie: unloved kids get it where they can Ronnie: thats on the back of the poster Joe: trust, I know Ronnie: 💔 Joe: not me Joe: never mind, not my sob story to hit you with Ronnie: you only wanna share yours Joe: maybe when we get cosy I'll divulge all the family secrets, sis Ronnie: maybe if you chat shit like that to me again ill choke on my puke Joe: n'awh Ronnie: kill yourself Joe: sure thing Ronnie: very obliging Joe: it was already in the diary tbh Joe: but I'll pop you in the note if that makes you feel 💘 Ronnie: show me yours & ill show you mine Joe: deal Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: [skippity skip] Ronnie: pick me up Joe: where from Ronnie: [location that's sketchy as all hell] Joe: alright Joe: that should take me 'bout half an hour this time of day Ronnie: im not goin anywhere mckenna Joe: you alright Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: got it Joe: 🚖 📵 Ronnie: important for you to know your place Joe: must be popular with the cabbies 👑 Ronnie: yeah im on a ban Ronnie: look out for my picture hanging Joe: what did you do Joe: vom and not pay the fine one too many times? Ronnie: we taking another trip down memory lane Ronnie: i aint 12 Joe: go on then, what was it Ronnie: the cunt crashed its fuck all to get excited about Joe: did you get hurt? Ronnie: didnt feel it Joe: what about the driver Ronnie: i reckon he felt it Joe: fucked you're stuck with the tube then Joe: 💔 Ronnie: cheers motherfucker Ronnie: cant you drive Joe: 'course I can Joe: where'd your license go, got a story for that and all or? Ronnie: car theft would be a dead good sibling bonding activity Ronnie: but i dont need your help to break a window Joe: another time Ronnie: nah Ronnie: next time some other cunt will pick me up Joe: good thing I didn't specify Joe: tah for keeping me well in the loop of your schedule though Ronnie: other shit in the diary besides blowing my brains out Ronnie: can move it up if you aint gonna shut up Joe: 🤐 Joe: you can keep all your dates Ronnie: made up i am Joe: no need to say thanks, I feel it Ronnie: you wanted to meet up Ronnie: wish granted Joe: I know Joe: reckon blue would suit Ronnie: what Joe: genie Joe: you owe me 2 more, yeah? Ronnie: rubbing me up the wrong way dont count Joe: damn Ronnie: i can do black & blue Joe: changed your mind then Joe: my 🍀 day Ronnie: you got the accent Ronnie: my head cant do subtitles Joe: not really Joe: not proper Joe: some of my younger ones do but they can barely remember Liverpool Ronnie: nothing to be 💔 about Ronnie: its a shithole Joe: least its a shithole with some history Joe: we moved to a newbuild shithole so Joe: win some lose some Ronnie: your boner for history aint that big Joe: you checked what I'm studying? 😏 Ronnie: you dont post about fuck all else Joe: I'm barely outta freshers let me have it Ronnie: dont give me the flu Joe: thought that was just a euphemism Joe: either way, on my life Ronnie: fuck knows Joe: not as much fun as people chat, shockingly Ronnie: what is Ronnie: the shit that feels good is the shit youre meant to keep your mouth shut about Joe: hear hear Ronnie: 💘 Joe: 💘 Joe: you live there or am I picking you up from a mates Ronnie: neither Joe: alright Ronnie: drop me on the other side Joe: no problem Ronnie: then you can go back to wanking over symphonies Joe: you wanna help me with my homework Joe: so nice Ronnie: what are big sisters for Joe: yeah Ronnie: shits fucked up Joe: right Joe: but you can be more specific Ronnie: nah i cant Joe: don't know where to start? Ronnie: it starts with being born Joe: okay, so the starts the easy bit Joe: the middle Joe: we don't have time Ronnie: we aint gonna trauma bond mckenna youve been beaten to it Joe: ah you got a troubled boyfriend Joe: that's cool Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you heard me say i aint 12 Joe: you know what I mean Ronnie: not very nancy drew if you reckon im that bitch Joe: we can't both be sid Ronnie: touche baby Joe: 💘 Ronnie: im gonna carve up this cunt if you dont pull me out Ronnie: & thatll make him feel too special Joe: who? Joe: I'm nearly there Ronnie: my not boyfriend Ronnie: dont waste romance like that on strangers Joe: sensible Joe: just carve anything but 💘 and he shouldn't get too clingy Ronnie: whats the symphony that gets you off fastest Ronnie: ill do that Joe: Khachaturian's Sabre Dance works as a play on words and should get him to crescendo 👌 Ronnie: hot Joe: orchestra nerds get all the bitches Ronnie: yeah Joe: you aren't a catfish, are you Joe: I mean, I'll recognize you Ronnie: look for your mas face Joe: fuck it, therapy overdue anyway Ronnie: fuck you for saying that Ronnie: making it go round my head Joe: I shouldn't have said that Ronnie: i should stab you Ronnie: all these pieces of mirror Ronnie: fuck him Joe: you can, long as you keep it shallow, or don't mind swinging by the hospital Ronnie: i dont get my kicks at a&e Joe: you'll have to play nice then Ronnie: youll get too clingy Joe: avoid the 💘 Ronnie: some other bitch can have the honours Joe: or has Joe: don't I seem 💔 Ronnie: dont need to hear how you lost your virginity mckenna Joe: noted Joe: save that trip down memory lane for private time Joe: me and mozart Ronnie: explains a shit ton if the conductor is molesting you Ronnie: but not gonna be the sister who tells him where to put that stick he waves about Joe: Mozart was pretty fucked up but I don't reckon it went that far Ronnie: i dont know him 💔 Ronnie: there was a Moz here earlier fuck knows if theyre any relation Joe: You're more a Liszt type, called it Ronnie: what the fuck kind of fuck you is that Joe: 😂 Joe: actually he's considered the world's first rock star, I was being nice Ronnie: shut up Joe: what, you ain't seen the ken russell film with daltrey in? Joe: have a word Ronnie: get a life Joe: tomorrow Joe: maybe Ronnie: i cant fucking believe it had to be you Ronnie: thank fuck i already aint showing my face here again Joe: thought you said you weren't 12 Joe: but I don't need to come in if you don't wanna be embarrassed in front of your mates Ronnie: i said my mates aint here Joe: no need to tell me why you're there Ronnie: where the fuck are you Joe: just got out, 5 minutes Ronnie: i need to get out Ronnie: move it like Joe: alright Joe: come find me then, make it go faster Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: what's wrong Ronnie: if my body would do what it was told i wouldnt need you Ronnie: cant even paint you a fucking picture Joe: right Ronnie: theres a shit load of stairs yeah Ronnie: i cant do 'em Joe: if you're fat I swear to god Ronnie: calm your tits nancy drew Ronnie: you know thats bullshit Joe: I'll trust you ain't catfishing then Ronnie: thats my next tat Ronnie: all for you baby Joe: sweet Ronnie: hurry up Joe: I am Joe: [show up boy] Ronnie: [when you're just there like damsel in distress which ain't you so it makes it more awks] Joe: [what a first meeting just having to carry her away from god knows where like] Ronnie: [just like we don't know each other but just carry me to your vehicle thanks] Joe: [just doing it silently like this is normal] Ronnie: [since I cant find a pic she should go get that tattoo now just casually drag him along] Joe: [once you get the use of your limbs back lol] Ronnie: [lbr its blatantly someone sketchy she knows the state of them all] Joe: [god bless] Ronnie: [when I know its gotta go on her face somewhere cos #triggered by looking like Tess and I'm just screaming like NOOO] Joe: [my boo is horrified and Joe too] Ronnie: [soz you're so cute bitch and you wanna look so ugly] Joe: [lowkey dread to think how annoying the heal time is on a face tat] Ronnie: [blasting that orchestra bop he mentioned earlier as loud as poss cos yeah you searched for it and yeah you don't wanna hear your thoughts or have a convo] Joe: [when you don't run like you should 'cos you too are a crazy person] Ronnie: [match made in heaven lol] Joe: [🔥😈] Ronnie: [does he have any tattoos I have forgotten] Joe: [Oh, I don't think so??? but he probably would in a self-destructive manner too, as long as they could be hidden like his self-harm like go ahead] Ronnie: [just thinking get one now if you want boy #bonding] Joe: [yolo] Ronnie: [ooh what should it be] Joe: [the real question, hmm] Ronnie: [perfect excuse to be staring at each other while that's happening though cos you can't be moving all about] Joe: [but of course] Ronnie: [Joe can move around more cos not on his fucking head but] Joe: [probably get a cherry or something for the lols] Ronnie: [love that for you Joseph]