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brothersgrim · 4 years

Text

you can price-check the undertaker

texasrcttlesnake

https://youtu.be/H-Anr9mbRjQ

but also BAD

deadmenanddemons

................ in other news. watching that youtube video

and do they really fucking call him "the latest acquisition of ted di biasi"

that's a literal person oh my god

but baby taker literally being sold makes me... sad

texasrcttlesnake

did you hear. all the people that he was passed around to because it hurt me

deadmenanddemons

no oh my god

texasrcttlesnake

that’s in there somewhere

and they play it off like it’s taker’s choice

but wait. there’s more.

deadmenanddemons

something about ted taking off taker's clothes like that is extra gross

like i know irl it's just him helping the actor out so he's back in his ring gear but in context

texasrcttlesnake

Also i really hope your student is okay and you hear from him soon if nothing else, just so you know!oh in context it’s gross

deadmenanddemons

he looks so damn happy about it

"ted di biasi, clearly in control"

he bought

a 20-something year old man

were shawn and/or steve involved with the federation at this point

texasrcttlesnake

taker is so incredibly broken

shawn was

deadmenanddemons

"what brought him to this point, was it money? money money? i don't think the undertaker even cares."

he didn't get the money. :| paul did

oh he's checked out mentally

lights are on but nobody's home

texasrcttlesnake

yeah he is a shell :\ it’s interesting to watch how he moves when he’s under like that

just so completely robotic and disconnected

funnily enough

not funny haha

steve’s first gimmick in the federation was working under dibiase

deadmenanddemons

so paul sold him to ted, who sold him to mr fuji, who sold him to brother love, then paul 'wound up with him', then sold him to ted AGAIN

texasrcttlesnake

YEP

so the poor kid has just been kicked around to the highest bidder

deadmenanddemons

he's about 29 in that match and he's already been sold about five times

that they know about

texasrcttlesnake

that’s all just within the federation :\

deadmenanddemons

wouldn't surprise me if paul rented him out to people when he could. :/ 'he never complains, never talks back, never stops working til the job's done! you don't even need to give him a lunch break!' as they laugh and exchange money

honestly the reason it's so robotic is. far as i can tell the urn can control him physically but not mentally/emotionally. so he's basically catatonic in there while his body fights like it's told to and he wishes it were possible to die

texasrcttlesnake

it keeps the kid out of his hair and away from the home and he makes a killing off of it

deadmenanddemons

god that was a beautiful led sweep tho

texasrcttlesnake

WASNT IT

deadmenanddemons

he probably did that if there were ever showings he didn't need taker for

and taker doesn't have the fortitude to complain. and he's. kind of used to the treatment so. even if he could he wouldn't complain

i'm at the part where they talk about how happy ted looks

THAT HE BOUGHT A FUCKIN PERSON

"and those were dollar signs in his eyes"

this poor kid is fuckin

he's still grieving over his family

he still blames himself for it

and he does even during the fire storyline

he looks exhausted

he hasn't had free will for fifteen years

hasn't had a pulse for just as long

he's tired he's hungry

maybe he at least gets to shower because they don't want their property looking filthy

but he just kind of wants to be left alone somewhere warm and dry and dark so he can cry and disassociate for a while

but he hasn't been told to so he can't :/

him just standing there staring is kind of badass as hell

but also really drives home the "there's nobody there" bit

ted's just laughing :|

taker turning on the ref is the closest to awake he's seemed this whole time

god he moves like a dream tho

honestly at that point in his life i don't even think you'd need the urn to control him

he's just so broken and so used to doing everything he's told

hi paul :/

it's been fifteen years since he's been able to say no

"undertaker has been entranced by paul bearer"

more like

"undertaker has been abused and conditioned and broken by paul for a decade and a half and doesn't register the fact that he doesn't have the urn and he can leave"

and ted tries to yank him back by his hair :)

please save this boy

he is exhausted and empty and misses his mama and papa and baby brother and just wants everything to stop for a bit :/

texasrcttlesnake

when ted pulled his hair i literally wanted to start fighting

he is so very obviously devastated and has not had time and space to grieve and he is just stuck with this guilt and this pain and constantly being tormented and forced to fight so it’s no wonder he looks so goddamn empty

and... yeah. paul showing up without the urn and still managing to find a way to reel him in was awful :\ kid doesn’t know any better

deadmenanddemons

and remember taker still tries to help ted jr from randy later on :/

texasrcttlesnake

because he is a good person and not the monster it was so easy to write him off as

deadmenanddemons

ngl he's glad steve wasn't with the federation at the time because he doesn't like the idea of steve knowing he was ever that "pathetic"

texasrcttlesnake

... he would have never seen him that way. and it might’ve taken him a little bit to figure out what exactly was going on with paul whenever he did come in, but initial thought was probably, ‘oh, poor guy’s being robbed blind by his manager, someone should say something’ and then very quickly, ‘.... poor guy is being preyed on by his manager, someone should fucking do something’

deadmenanddemons

... also if he's 29 by that point he hasn't only lost jt iza and kane

but he also lost liz only 8-9 years ago

texasrcttlesnake

haVIN A BAD TIME

i guess that also helps the, ‘fuck it, there’s no point in fighting, got nothing to live for anyway’

while he is being passed around to the highest bidder like a fucking object

deadmenanddemons

and then paul doesn't even feel like paying for him again and just capitalizes on having abused the kid for over half his life to call him back

he hasn't been able to say 'no' for fifteen years :/

and even then he hesitates because as checked out as he is he doesn't want to go back to the hell that was but he does anyway, then ted gets mad because that's /his/ property... and i don't actually think taker's even capable of thinking for himself at that point

so steve could say something but unless he was told to react and how to do so i think he'd mostly just stand there :/ when he thinks for himself people get hurt and everything gets worse and hes so lucky he has paul or whoever to think for him or who knows where he would be

texasrcttlesnake

ted doesn’t see his acquisitions as people and you could never say that he was better off for having been away from paul all that time. what does he do with this broken shell of a man whose only purpose has been reduced to fighting? at least his home is familiar :\ it’s horrible but at least he’s close to his family again

deadmenanddemons

he doesn't feel right sitting in ted's giant house. everything is fancy and sparkling and it make him feel even smaller and filthier just by standing next to it. he doesn't know where anything is or how anything works. there's always so much going on and people coming and going and if he allowed himself to be present he'd feel like a damned spectacle. something to be gawked at and whispered about and then spoken outright about when they realized he won't react (he hasn't been told to). he misses his home and his yard and his family and his bed, even if he didn't use it very often. he cannot be near his parents here. he cannot be near kane here. ... he wonders if they think less of him for abandoning them again.

texasrcttlesnake

he is drowning while the high rollers laugh it up around him, clink crystal glasses and marvel at how fortunate ted is. the zombie is making them lots of money. who cares if it can’t speak? it’s not supposed to. who cares if it misses home? what home does it have to go back to? isn’t he — it — so lucky ted rescued him — it — from that shrill opportunist? didn’t deserve to have such a good weapon on his hands.

... and i’m just imagining the first time steve ever overhears paul talking down to taker, taker’s chin buried in his chest and hiding behind his hair while paul openly shrieks about some mistake he made and how much money it costs to maintain this lifestyle and don’t be so ungrateful and i can’t imagine any situation where steve wouldn’t want to put his fat face through a window but instead he’d just insert himself between them. it’s too goddamn familiar to how james used to talk to him for him to just turn away.

deadmenanddemons

he spends most of his time just standing in a corner staring at nothing. if he is told to do something, he does it, but aside from that he stays out of the way like he's been taught. sometimes he tries to imagine he's back at the arcade with liz, or her small apartment where they could always hear the dogs barking in the alleys. he tries to think further back to when he and kane used to go on adventures and try to stay up late on certain nights. to think about his parents and it's a struggle to not see the burnt corpses paul showed him. it's better than being in the moment and hearing what they have to say. sometimes he can hear them laughing, and if he had any pride left it might hurt. but no. he's such a good purchase. gonna get a lot of bang for your buck, teddy.

#texasrcttlesnake #&& necronimcon; deadman headcanons #abuse ment //#i don't even know how to tag this so #ask to tag #editted out a lot of irrelevant chatter but HERE WE ARE CRYING #and i was asked to post my crimes

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thefootballlife · 5 years

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Scotland are utter p*sh - What now, after McLeish’s worst week

The phrase is that it’s always the hope that gets you.

It’s a wildly inaccurate idiom that can be destroyed simply by the process of being a Scotland fan.

After the Nations League campaign, some may have argued that there was an unusual requirement for optimism around the Scotland team. After all, a Euro 2020 playoff of some variety was guaranteed, so the actual qualifiers themselves could have perhaps been seen as a free hit - a chance to get a bit of long term planning in, move some players into the squad and try something different. To their credit, the Scotland hierarchy appears to have not taken it that way and the prime sentiment as of one week ago was to make sure that Scotland qualified through the group at the first opportunity.

One week on and the mood is markedly different. Kazakhstan and San Marino away are two trips where the expectation must be that Belgium, Russia and Cyprus will all travel there and come away with two wins. After all, six months ago, Kazakhstan were a side that drew with Andorra. Prior to facing Scotland, they had won a grand total of three qualifying ties this decade.

So, of course, Kazakhstan would beat Scotland 3-0.

Was it Scotland’s worst performance of all time? It’s certainly up there in a couple of senses. In terms of being downright shambolic, it’s probably the winner. No team as poor as Kazakhstan has beaten Scotland so comprehensively and the defensive layout of the team was almost entirely to blame.

It is, in a way, extremely difficult to apportion blame for such a, bluntly, absolute shitemare of a performance. Any competent performances were sucked down a black hole of the overall outcome of the bodying by Borat. But the goals conceded were of such an elementary nature as to make one wonder whether David Bates or Scott McKenna had even played football before, never mind playing together. Take goal one - a simple long ball straight up the middle that managed to allow Kazakhstan in behind while McKenna, Bates and Shinnie just stood about and looked around wondering who would be taking the blame for this one. The second goal just a straight ball through a bus lane of a gap between Shinnie and the rest of the defence that was exploited. By this point, Kazakhstan’s tails were up and the third early in the second half was not a surprise.

There was plenty of mud to sling at McLeish afterwards - why play Shinnie at left back when he hasn’t played there for some time, not least of those issues. But, most of all, was that the team looked to be running through treacle while Kazakhs ran amok. Tactically outdone and positionally outdone, there was nothing in the way of a redeeming feature about it.

San Marino should at least have provided something in the way of relief - the world’s worst team were battered by Cyprus and Scotland should have done the same. Instead, we were presented with a somewhat uncomfortable 2-0 win secured only in the last 20 minutes that turned the travelling Scottish support against the side. Of all the insults that the fanatic travelling Scotland support has had to put up with, there was a feeling that this might just be the final straw. These are not fans accustomed to booing their team off the pitch after a victory - but they did. Where a convincing win would have done the world of good, instead they were delivered a performance that was still defensively suspect and ponderous and lacking quality in attack.

The position of McLeish is, of course, untenable but, then again, it has been for almost the entire time he has been in charge for his second spell at the helm and, as such, imminent expectation of change is limited. With a playoff tie in the bank, it is also hard to think the SFA would be minded to change horses mid-stream even if the concept of Scotland qualifying past Serbia, the final boss of the league three playoff structure at this point, is beyond fanciful.

This isn’t a short term issue, of course. Twenty plus years of a lack of ability at the highest level combined with a lack of patience to actually see a plan through has led to this - a short term fix in McLeish that doesn’t actually fix anything save for robbing Scotland of time for someone who is more capable at this level to actually do something.

Depressingly, much like when McLeish was appointed, there is a paucity of obvious candidates. Many would like to see Steve Clarke - that would be a terrible appointment given Clarke’s innovative defensive stylings are reliant on having a team buy into him and him to have time on the training field to implement it. Such smart methods don’t work when you get to train with players only 7 times a year rather than 7 days a week. What Scotland need is someone who is proven at being an international manager and getting the most out of limited players. International management is a skill in itself with a separate skillset to club management. Furthermore, they would have to be able to energise Scotland out of torpor - a Gianni de Biasi or a Felix Magath or some equally recognisable name that fans can at least point to and go “I know what you stand for” and who have a record to look back on that is envious. Ally that with some brave decisions behind the scenes - albeit bravery is not something often associated with the SFA - and it might just be possible to get the team back on track.

McLeish, in the near future, is safe enough. Much like Theresa May, he remains there because the obvious replacements are terrible, because no-one wants to be caught holding the can for this shower and because no-one really believes anyone else right now could do much better. “What’s the point in McLeish” is a question only currently answered by “what’s the point in anyone else”.

Not a resounding vote of confidence but enough for him to plough along for now.

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