#still havrnt done it

[magickbrew]

I need a coach. A life coach? A diabetic life coach? Like someone who’s gonna yell at me when I wanna give up. Or someone who’s gonna help me motivate myself. Cuz I’m worried.

#i just dont feel it lately #i was supposed to change my sensor since last night #i didnt #still havrnt done it #i thinj about the injection and just #sigh #i know im running high #i know its why i feel like crap #why i dont wanna sleep #i feel like crying #the depressy hitting me hard rn #im so tired #ooc. mobile

[catboy07-moved]

waitttttt

#i still havrnt done the sit ups test #also i just realized that if i can just not go all the way down to the floor and up.... #i could do at least 50 #DUDE #i just asked tho to make sure its valid #but if so.... bro im getting an a LMAO

[valen-dreth]

im so antsy lately cant figure out why

#but like i dont have the energy to do anything so im like. sittin around on edge :\\\ #sorry i havrnt gotten a whole lot done so far as art and hc reqs go i just havent been able to focus #im still trying progress is just... very slow

[cinderskeleton]

My dash has drastically slowed down in content, which probably means that the people I follow have mostly moved from using tumblr.

With the censoring of content and decrease in usage from the people I am interested in following, as well as some of the more suspect behavior from tumblr/yahoo/Verizon... I am strongly considering deleting my blog. I have already backed up the photos and poetry I care to keep, so what is there to keep me here anymore?

#im lready on insta @villainsnvanity #and i made a twitter though i havrnt found many people i care to follow #its too absorbed in reality #not enough stream of conciousness #but im there @cinderskeleton #im thinking of deleting my facebook too #but atill need to back up my photos #*still #im just. so tired of this social media mutation #the political shouting that lacks human compassion #the ever increasing drive to make more money #and feeling lonely as a result of others sharing only the best of their lives #im ready to be done

[thebuildlady]

Adulyhood scary

#still haveny picked a career #still havrnt picked a college #still havent done anything ever

[sunchipz]

STILL HAVRNT DONE ANY HOMEWORK LOL

#except my intaglio plate #I’ve been scratching at that #mine #AUGH

[adhdoyoumind]

tbh my response to literally everything lately is ‘’I’ll just finish it for the retake’’ because i do everything so last minute i just. end up giving up lol

#ive done it before and that turned out fine at the retake #HOWEVER i also still have to write an entire essay as a retake from last semester and i still havrnt done so #cuz clearly if its not art its not happening even more so #this is your captain speaking

[allucka]

answer a l l for the ask meme bih

MY LAPTOP DIED AND NOW I HAVE TO REDO THISFUCK

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

ya LMAO

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

nearly everyday i do

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

not yet but that can change ;)

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

YES YES YE SE YES YES EYSESSS YEWSS YES S and my latest ex knew that but still ignored my pleas :)

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

i dont like anyone

6. What are you excited for?

honestly????? idk

7. What happened tonight?

i got jalapeno chips bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

yes bc its too relatable

9. Is confidence cute?

i guess? i dont rlly care if a person has confidence or not

10. What is the last beverage you had?

i just got done drinking daddies milky

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

i trust @officialpda​ and thats all,,,,

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

YA LIKE 10

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

idk probs cry, sleep, and masturbate 

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

im saving up for a trip to russia so hopefully a passport!

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

i havent kissed anyone yet,

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

i wont but my interests probably will

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

@officialpda​ @officialpda​ @officialpda​ @officialpda​

18. The last time you felt broken?

h a (: tuesday lol

19. Have you had sex today?

NO IM ON MY PERIOD AND IM LONELY

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

ya love isnt real

21. Are you in a good mood?

no

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

no im not fucking stupid

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

ya. boring foggy grey

24. What do you want right this second?

cold weather

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

i dont like or love anyone rn but if i did id be kinda upset? but if it was only a kiss and theres nothing behind it then its fine

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

yuuup

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

NO?? humor is one of the most important things to me

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

jd texted me “f7xk i fell aaleep”

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

im trying not to.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

no, not everyone

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

@officialpda​ i fyxkiong hate yiu (no)

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

otabek altin..... if ur out there....

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

no i actually drink soda a lot oops

34. Listening to?

greedy by ariana grande

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

ya bc i usually make a lot of spelling mistakes bc i write so fast

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

i havent kissed anyone,,,,

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no,

38. Who did you last call?

my pharmacy lmao

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

no one

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

I HAVRNT KISSED ANYONE FUUHDSIJF

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

ummmmm during seattle pride i think

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

yeah!

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

well i embarrass myself a lot in general so ya probably

44. Do you tan in the nude?

no i hate my body too much

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

nah

47. Who was the last person to call you?

my cousin

48. Do you sing in the shower?

HELL YEAH LOL

49. Do you dance in the car?

OFC

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

when i went thru my hunger games phase my grandpa bought me a bow and arrow and i used it like twice

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

september 1st 2016

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

no! i love them

53. Is Christmas stressful?

a bit yeah

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

nope

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

pumpkin pie

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

i rlly wanted to be a veterinarian 

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

YA LOL

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

all the time,,

59. Take a vitamin daily?

nuh uh

60. Wear slippers?

noooope

61. Wear a bath robe?

noooooooope

62. What do you wear to bed?

during the fall/winter i wear swreatpants with a sweater or a tshirt. during the spring and summer i usually sleep mostly naked

63. First concert?

havent been to one

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

target

65. Nike or Adidas?

nike

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

i dont know her

69. Ever take dance lessons?

i did ballet for a rlly long time

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

idk crying prons

71. Can you curl your tongue?

yup

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

NO LMAO IM NOT A NERD

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

mhm!! i was so happy while in seattle also when jd helped me with my relationship probs

74. What is your favorite book?

anna karenina

75. Do you study better with or without music?

i study better with music!

76. Regularly burn incense?

i wish

77. Ever been in love?

ota be k a ltin ,, ,

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

ariana grande or the weeknd

79. What was the last concert you saw?

never been to one

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

cold

81. Tea or coffee?

coffee bih!!!!!

82. Favorite type of cookie?

oreos!!!

83. Can you swim well?

yeah kinda

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yeah lmao

85. Are you patient?

depends on what im waiting for

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

hmm dj probably

87. Ever won a contest?

ONE TIME IN SECOND GRADE THERE WAS A GUESS THE AMOUNT OF GUMBALLS CONTEST AND I GUESSED THE EXACT AMOUNT AND WON 277 GUMBALLS

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

nooope

89. Which are better black or green olives?

NEITHER GROSS

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

its fine!! just as long as its protected and consensual 

91. Best room for a fireplace?

living room or bedroom

92. Do you want to get married?

maybe i dont know

#ask meme #i hate u jd fukcbfhfbi #officialpda

[xxchibilifexx]

The last days were horrible. I was always so alone and everything felt surreal. I don't know what the fuck I am doing but I feel so...strange. Today I cried in art class because I pulled myself together to raise my hand and to read the homework for today but I was confused and I didn't know if I should read everything. So I paused and eberyone starred at me and it was uncomfortable and my teacher raised his hand and I thought he said that I should do the same so I did and everyone laughed about me and he said No just start. And I was stuttering and sweating so much and I said some words that made no sense and then this girl said Omg just read it already!! And she was annyoied and everyone laughed and giggled and they looked at me as if they were judging me and I felt uncomfortable and I thought Why did I raisemy hand I shouldnt have doneit I am so stulid I want to leave And be alone And go away I want to cry No i can only cryand my eyes are now full with tears and I became quiet and everyonr was waiting and so I read the beginning and then my teacher said stop and I got so nervous like I thought that I did somethingwrong and I was terrififed and then he just explained something and it made me feel stupid because I panicked so much and then I read itand everyone was queit and no one said anything amd i felt like as if i said something wrong and theni was done and i cried but i tried yo hold it in but i couldnt because of gravity and no one noticeed it becauese i always look sad so its normal for them but it was also dark so no ome could see me and I felt so horrible and I want to die amd I am just thinking about killing myself and I think Oh i should write a suicide letter for everyome or should i do that Is it even worth it to leave one behind I domt need to tell them why I dont even know why Nothing happened but i still feel so bad All i can do is to read and to eat my emptiness away and I want to hurt myself and i hate it to drive to school with the bus because it feels like as if someone pushes me somewhere where i dont want to be and it feels horrible and i just want to take the wheel and drive myself and the otherinto another car so that i can die and i need to finish this painting and i started it and i was happy and i was happy that i had art but them it was so bad and my teavher said that i womt have much time for my painting now and i was just screaming in my head and i thought I KNOW I KNOW THAT THERE ISNT MUCH TIME. I KMOW. THATS WHY I AM FREAOING OUTAND I WANT TO THROW ALUP AND I KNOW HE IS JUST A TEACHER BUT STILL . I WANT TO KILL THIS BITCH THAT TOLD ME TO FUCKING READ MY HOMEWORK. I AM SORRY THAT I AM NOTAS BITCHY AND AS BEAUTIFUL AND UGLY AND CONFIDENT AS YOU ATE. SORRY THAT I HATE IT WHEN EVERYONE STARRS AT ME LIKE I ATE SOMEONE. I STRUGGLE WITH HOMEWORK AND WITH EATING WELL AND I SLEEP STRaNDLGE AMD I ALWAYS WAKE UP AY 3AM AND. I SLEEP AGAIN AFTER TGAT AMD I WANT TO DIE AND I REGRET IT EVERYTIME I DIDNT DO IT LIKE why AM I SO WEAK I SHOULD BE ABLE TO TAKE THIS OPTIONBUT I AM SO WEAK I WISH SOMEONE COULD JUST KILL ME AMD LEAVE ME AMD i DONT SEE A FUTURE AND IT MAKES ME TERRIFIED AND I HAVRNT STUDIED FOR SPANISH AND I WANT TO CRY ECAUSE I DONT WANT TO WRIT IT AMD OMG I AM JUST SO BAD AND I STOPPED TO TALK WITH MY FRIENDS WHO TOLD ME THAY THEY ARE MY FRIENDS AND THEY ALSO DONT CARE ABOUT ME THEY ONLY WANT ME TO SMILESO THAT THEY CAN STOP TO ASK ME OR TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME BUT I WANT ATTENTION I WANT THAT SOMEONE GIVES ME EVERYTHING AND THEY STAY WITH ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIGE BUT AT THE SAME TIME I HATE IT TO BE WITH SOMEOME BEFAUSE I DOMT KNOW HOW TTO FEEL AND TO TREAT THEM AND HUG SOMEOME AND I ALSAYS HAVE LIKE A ROBOT VOICE AND I DONT HAVE APERSONALITY AND I SHOULD GETA THERAPIST BUT WHY DOING THAT WHEN I CAN KILL MYSELF INSTEAD?

[thesecondoutershell]

I literally havrnt talked to her, or even seen her in three days. All I hear is what comes out if my room. Basically candy crush, laughing on the phone, and laughing outside with friends. She said she would try to help fix the situation and she hasn't. She went back to the same things I knew she would go back on, the same thibgs she yelled at me for telling her she'd go back on. And then at the end of the week, she'll tell me that my efforts aren't enough and I need to do more. I have to go to work today. I won't have an official day off for two weeks, and the only reason I have that off is because I requested it because I've been missing worship. And I've taken any first few gigs as a freelancer, which have deadlines. There is rarely a moment when I'm not working. And every time I ask her to help she says I still haven't done enough. Just the last time she reminded me that the only reason we were in this mess right now was because I haven't been working enough. She really is the worst kind of person