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kdrama-movies-more · 7 months

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Joo Min-kyung(Bae Ok-hui)

(google translate)

‘Hiphage’ Joo Min-kyung, “I like the reaction of waiting for the Okmyeong couple the best.”

Joo Min-kyung, who was ‘hip’, sent off ‘Bae Ok-hee’ with affection-filled thoughts on the end of the show.

1. Thoughts on the end of ‘Hip-Hope’

First of all, I would like to thank the viewers who loved our drama. And it was such an honor to be able to work with all the people I met through the drama, including the director, writer, senior and junior fellow actors, and all the staff. Ok-hee was a character who met and interacted with many people, so all the scenes she had together were meaningful and memorable. I think it will be remembered for a long time. More than anything, I was really happy to be able to play Ok-hee, and I was fortunate to be able to show Ok-hee as she grew up a bit towards the end.

2. Were there any special preparations you made to play the character ‘Bae Ok-hee’ or anything you paid attention to while acting?

I always worry about being seen as a pretender in every project. Bae Ok-hee was a challenge for her as it was very different from the roles I had played so far. So, Bae Ok-hee seems to have taken it seriously, constantly reminding herself that she was the best fashionista in Mujin with her unique mental world.

3. How was the atmosphere on set of the drama and the chemistry with your fellow actors?

The atmosphere at the scene was very good. Senior Han Ji-min, I worked with her on her previous work, and was close to her, so she took care and encouraged from the beginning to the end. Maybe that's why I was grateful that it was a warm place where laughter never stopped when seniors came. Senior Lee Min-ki always seemed to be focused on his character on set. However, he was a senior who silently looked after and took care of those around him, so I learned a lot from watching him. I didn't have many scenes with Suho, but when I talked to him, he seemed like a simple country boy.

I am actually a long-time fan of Senior Kim Yong-myeong ‘Comedy Big League’, so when I first met him, I was very nervous and a little surprised. Even though I was a junior, my senior always took care of me first and created a fun atmosphere on set, so I was able to film happily. And Ok-hee's family, Mom, Dad, and Bae Deok-hee, the four of us lived in situational drama when we met, but it got a little confusing later on. (Laughs) Surprisingly, I liked it even more because the four of them were so similar. Lastly, Ok-hee's unit Shin So-yeon, Lim So-ra, Park Bo-bae, and Ho Sol-hee were all bright and energetic friends. The younger members of Okhee's unit gave me a lot of good energy on set, so the filming wasn't difficult.

4. In particular, the chemistry with Kim Yong-myeong, who played the romantic role in the play, received a good response. How was your collaboration with Kim Yong-myeong? Are there any memorable reactions to the Okhee♥Yongmyeong couple?

I am a regular listener of 'Comedy Big League' and a huge fan of senior Yongmyeong, so seeing him on set was amazing and nice as it felt like I was watching TV. He was always cheerful and brought snacks whenever he had time, so it was a fun place to spend time with him. I remember that while filming with my senior, I kept bursting out laughing and there were a lot of NGs. I think the most memorable response was that they were waiting for the ‘Okmyeong couple’.

5. ‘Hip-up’ My favorite scene/quote of my choice

I think it was the scene where wheat was rolled for a drinking competition. Actually, I've never tried it before, so I looked it up on social media and researched it before filming. The director filmed it beautifully, and I think the viewers liked it.

And I keep thinking of the last line that Ok-hee shares with her boyfriend in episode 3: “Oppa’s lipstick, peach suits you better than red.” I cried a lot while filming that scene. She thought that Ok-hee may have seemed light-hearted Geumsappa(falls in love quickly), but she was a transparent friend who loved her with all her heart at every moment. Maybe that's why that line stayed in my heart for a long time and I cried a lot while watching the broadcast. I think it hurt me more because I thought it might not have been the best thing I could say while acknowledging my boyfriend and pretending like nothing happened.

6. Lastly, a word to the viewers who loved ‘Hip’

I hope you had a good time crying, laughing, and being together in Mujin. I greeted her with a slightly odd Okhee name, but she was kind to me and encouraged me, so it was a really happy time. Looking at the viewers' reactions, I thought they all needed a friend like Okhee. I hope that you will be able to recharge yourself to get through the week with a tiring weekend 'hip' and with Okhee on your side, and I will work hard and prepare well and happily so that I can greet you in a different way with another work. I am sincerely grateful to the viewers who have loved and watched ‘Hip’ and Okhee so far.

#behind your touch #joo min kyung #kdrama #bae ok-hui

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overthinkingkdrama · 7 years

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Old Souls

{A Scarlet Heart: Ryeo fan fiction}

Set immediately after the end of episode 20.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

“…so they asked if I would come touring with them as their sound engineer. It was flattering of course, but I turned them down. If I don’t have creative control of what I’m doing, I’m not sure I could feel passionate about it. Besides, I would have to be away from home for so many months out of the year, you know?”

Jin Woo and Min Ki were holed up in a restaurant, eating together for the first time in weeks. They’d picked a cozy pork belly place they’d been regulars at back in their college days. The middle aged man that ran the place still knew their faces and gave them extra portions when they came in. Min Ki was manning both the grill and the conversation, while Jin Woo’s attention wavered. Rain was falling heavily outside, and he found his eyes flitting continually between the window and his phone beneath the table.

No new messages.

“You think I made the right decision, though?”

“About…”

“Touring with Three Piece Tracksuit. You know I want to be a working musician, but I want to write my own songs and…hyung, are you listening to me?”

Jin Woo had been looking at the time. Her train should have arrived by now. Was it delayed? Is she not coming back tonight? He realized that Min Ki was looking at him with a smirk on his face. He’d lost the thread of the conversation again. “You’re not even here, are you?”

“I’m sorry. I’m easily distracted tonight. Go on.”

“Forget it. I was just talking about how I like the sound of my own voice, anyway.”

“I really am sorry.” Jin Woo muttered, setting his phone face down on the table and reaching across to pour his friend soju in a conciliatory gesture.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve got me trained by now.” He pointed to the phone with the pair of tongs. “You two fighting or something?”

“Ha Jin and I don’t fight.” That was true. Fighting was something real couples did. “She’s been in Busan for the last few days visiting her mother. She was supposed to be coming back tonight, but I haven’t heard from her.”

“I wondered why you agreed to eat with me on short notice. I get to see you because she’s out of town.” The words were said kindly, but Jin Woo detected real hurt in Min Ki’s expression.

“That’s not fair. You know the firm has me work all these extra hours. I’ve been busy. Truly.”

“I know. I do know that.”

Jin Woo’s forced “voluntary leave” had finally come to an end, but it was impossible return like nothing had happened. His departure had been as sudden as it was dramatic and of course people would talk. He’d had to scrape and claw just to get back where he’d been two years ago. The old him would have been bothered by the rumors, the loss of his colleagues respect. The new him couldn’t seem to care. If his relationship with his supervisor was showing signs of strain, or if the chatter in the break room seemed to hush when he entered, he hardly had time to notice. His mind was on other things. If it weren’t for all the late nights at the office eating away at his time with Ha Jin, he would hardly waste a thought on his job. It all seemed so trivial to him now.

His colleagues were like strangers, and Jin Woo himself was like a different person. It was as though before Ha Jin had entered his life he’d merely been drifting through his days. A man living under an assumed identity, acting out a minor role in a joyless charade. Now each day was important with a secret meaning. One that only he understood.

Min Ki poured for Jin Woo this time. “Still, I feel like even when I see you these days you’re…somewhere else.”

“You’re the one who used to tell me to stop isolating myself. That I needed to know more people than just you.”

“You’re still isolating yourself. You’re just isolating yourself with a different person.”

“If you would just agree to meet Ha Jin and stop pretending you have plans every time I try to introduce you—”

“I’m perfectly happy to meet Ha Jin. Just as soon as you’re ready to introduce her as your girlfriend and not…whatever this is right now. This wishy-washy in-between bullshit you’ve been playing at for months.”

Jin Woo felt the inevitable fight coming on and deliberately filled his mouth with too much food so he couldn’t retort. This wasn’t new ground they were covering, and he didn’t want them to part angrily.

“You should have gone with her to meet her mother. That’s the next step.”

Jin Woo only shook his head.

After hearing out Jin Woo’s whole, lurid proposal, Ha Jin had kept him waiting for two days. Jin Woo had been petrified of what she would say, but he still didn’t know her number so waiting was all he could do. Just before midnight on the second day she’d called him.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“It’s Ha Jin.” He’d known it before he heard her voice. She’d sounded so small on the other side of the line he almost hadn’t heard when she said, “I miss you.”

He’d thought his heart would burst. “Me too.”

“Can I meet you somewhere?”

Less than an hour later they were in the same corner booth at the same dim bar where she’d walked away from him not too many days before, muddling through the rest of the night from there. Jin Woo hadn’t been a very impressive date. As far as he could recollect afterward, he couldn’t carry a clever or even comprehensible conversation the entire time. He kept lapsing into silence with a foolish smile on his face, continually surprised and relieved that she was there with him, that she wanted to be. But if he seemed stupid or awkward to Ha Jin, she hadn’t let it show. She seemed content, like she shared a little of his relief. As though she too had trouble breathing when they were apart.

After that night, Jin Woo and Ha Jin had continued to see each other. They began to fall into a pattern like normal couples do, though they never felt like a normal couple and didn’t think of themselves as one. There was a host of unspoken rules that hung over them, separating them from other people.

Since the first time they’d slept together, Ha Jin hadn’t spent the night at his place. It wasn’t something they discussed, but it became an uncrossable line. She would always leave before the buses stopped running, or when on occasion that would share a bottle of wine before falling into bed, Jin Woo would call a substitute driver for her. He supposed it would feel too intimate to wake up next to him in the morning. It would make their relationship seem less transactional, like she belonged there.

He could only try to guess what she was thinking, and never pressed her on the matter.

Again, by an unstated pact, they habitually kept their arrangement a secret from other people. Ha Jin never asked Jin Woo to meet her friends, and he didn’t tell her about his family. She wouldn’t call him her boyfriend, and he didn’t correct people when they assumed he was single. How could he answer questions if someone asked about her? Better not to say anything.

Whenever the situation began to weigh on him, he would pretend that he was having an affair with a married woman. That was the reason for all the secrecy, why he couldn’t talk about her, and why she could never spend the night. It became a sort of game to him. Sneaking off to send a surreptitious text, spinning white lies about his weekend plans, and arranging discreet rendezvous for the two of them, as though anybody cared what they did. Somehow the lie he told himself about their torrid affair was more palatable than the truth. It was something that happened in the real world. And it didn’t require a belief in fate or reincarnation or star-crossed lovers searching for each other across time. He couldn’t talk to outsiders about that.

Not even Min Ki.

For a short time, at the beginning, Jin Woo had even tried to keep this secret from his best friend, as though he really was trying to cover up an affair. Jin Woo became like a man trying to avoid his own gaze in the mirror. But Min Ki wasn’t an easy person to keep putting off, nor did he allow himself to be avoided for long.

Eventually it caught up with him. Min Ki had cornered him alone at home late one night. They’d had it out in the kitchen, all of Min Ki’s hurt and disapproval had come rushing out.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m doing what you told me to do.”

“Not me. I never told you to do this. I wanted to get to the bottom of what’s happened to you. Not throw away your curiosity and your hope in pursuit of a girl.”

“Is that what I’m doing?”

“Sure what it looks like.”

Jin woo had opened his mouth to defend himself, but Min Ki went on, “I’ve never see you so utterly lost before. I mean, do you have any reason to think she feels the same way about you?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“How can it not matter?” He raised his voice again, “You told me yourself she isn’t even interested in you for you. She wants someone who looks like you. Doesn’t that disturb you?”

“I told her I didn’t care about that.”

“What will you do when she loses interest? What will you do then? You’ll be right back where you started. Worse off.”

“I can’t afford to worry about that right now. The only thing that helps is her. The only time I’m not in pain is when I’m with her. She makes the nightmares go away. She…fixes it.”

Jin Woo wasn’t so far beyond saving that I didn’t realize how messed up what he was saying was. He understood that horrified look in Min Ki’s eyes. He understood entirely. But he’d made up his mind about what he would do and nothing is friend said—no matter how reasoned or self-evident—was going to shake his resolution.

Min Ki seemed to understand he wasn’t going to change anything, and the frustration had sent the blood rushing into his face. He poured himself a glass of water from the fridge. After several minutes of sustained silence, he spoke from across the room.

“I realize you want to go back to normal, you think this is the way to do it, but this isn’t normal. You’re running away. You’re terrified, I see it. Just…stop hiding things from me. Call me when it all falls apart and I help you pick up the pieces.”

He set his glass down on the counter with a snap, not looking into Jin Woo’s face he said, “I’ll see myself out.”

For a few days after that fight, Jin Woo wondered if Min Ki had really given up on him. But of course he hadn’t. He was back at Jin Woo’s apartment, letting himself in and going through his cupboards like he owned the place, before too long.

Jin Woo knew Min Kin was still worried. He probably had reason to worry. He was distrustful of Ha Jin and for a time actively avoided bringing her up in conversation. Jin Woo didn’t know how to convince his friend that Ha Jin’s intentions weren’t malicious. All Min Ki could see was a cold, elusive girl who only wanted to use him. He didn’t know Ha Jin in all her fragility. He had never felt her crying noiselessly in the dark. She wasn’t cold, she was wounded. She was every bit as terrified as Jin Woo himself. But it was foolish to expect Min Ki to understand. He would just have to keep the two parts of his life separate and hope he could make it up to his friend someday.

When they’d finished their meal and paid, Min Ki and Jin Woo stood beneath an awning looking out at the rain, still coming down in heavy sheets. Neither had thought to bring an umbrella. Min Ki mused aloud whether it would be better to wait it out or make a run for the bus shelter. They stayed as they were.

Jin Woo was looking at his phone again. He’d sent Ha Jin a text that said, “Call me when you get a chance. I just want to make sure you get in okay.” Now he was regretting it. It sounds a little domestic. What if she takes it the wrong way? But he couldn’t very well follow it up with something flippant. Not that I’m worried about you. I don’t worry about you. Forget you saw this. That would be absurd.

Min Ki was quiet, and Jin Woo thought he’d hurt his feelings. He was getting phantom vibrations from a phone call that wasn’t coming. He knew if they went home now he’d just keep doing the same thing. Driving himself crazy.

He said, “You want to go for a second round? I’ll pay.”

They walked around the block and found a pojangmacha. Ducking under the orange tent flap Jin Woo ordered two more bottles of soju and tried to think of something to talk about that might distract them both, with little success.

As the evening wore on it became clear that Min Ki was far outpacing Jin Woo on consumption. He’d been anxious and distracted, eaten very little, and held his full glass in his hand for minutes on end while Min Ki drank down shot after shot. An hour later Jin Woo was almost sober, while his friend sat red faced and pitched forward in his seat.

“Come on.” Jin Woo said, standing, pulling some bills out of his wallet and paying the halmeoni running the stand before help his friend to his feet. “Let’s get you home.”

Outside the rain was still coming down but not so heavily, streaming in rivulets over the stiff plastic tent as they plotted their next move. Min Ki began feeling over his clothes, looking for something, finally fishing out a brand new pack of cigarettes which he freed from their thin plastic packaging to place one, unlit in him mouth.

“When did you start smoking again?” It was a habit Min Ki had picked up during college, but kicked a few years before after frequent nagging.

“I haven’t. I just…only when I’m anxious.”

Jin Woo thought, what has you so anxious, my friend? But he couldn’t ask. He didn’t want to hear his suspicions confirmed aloud.

Min Ki was searching his pockets again, frowning. Clearly not finding what he wanted, he asked, “You have a light?”

“You know I don’t.”

Finally, Min Ki flicked the damp cigarette into a nearby puddle, “Screw it.”

It was only a quarter past 11 and they caught a bus back. Min Ki hunkered down in the seat beside him and leaned his head against Jin Woo’s shoulder, arms crossed over his chest. Jin Woo didn’t mind. He looked out the window at the city lights and let his mind wander.

He thought Min Ki had fallen asleep, so it surprised him when he said, “Have you tried to find out? I mean, what stated all of this. In the past.”

It would have been easy to misunderstand the slurred question, but Jin Woo said, “No.”

“Go Ha Jin, she…hasn’t told you anything? What about that professor fellow?”

“I haven’t asked her. And I haven’t been back to see him.”

“Are you really not curious?”

“It’s not that. It’s just…I have this feeling that she would cry if I asked her. That perhaps she’s hiding it for my own good.” Jin Woo didn’t know why he was answering Min Ki’s questions now. He supposed he was feeling honest.

“Doesn’t that bother you? The idea that she knows something she isn’t telling. I mean, maybe she did something wrong. Maybe she betrayed you. Isn’t possible that if you knew, you wouldn’t want to be with her anymore?”

Jin Woo was silent for a long time. So long that Min Ki sat up and studied his expression, suddenly not seeming so far gone. His face was serious, concerned.

“I spoke out of turn.” He said, apologetic.

“It’s fine. Don’t be sorry.” Jin Woo paused thinking about how to explain. “Back when you took me to see the mudang, I didn’t believe anything she said. But lately I keep replaying her words in my head. She said there was a lot of blood between Ha Jin and me. And it made a bad end…Ha Jin doesn’t say much but I’ve guessed enough to know that’s true. Whatever happened, it casts a long shadow…I’m afraid to ask what and why. No matter how much I want to know—to be there for her—if I press too hard we’ll lose even what we have now. I don’t know if it’s worth that.”

The bus brakes squealed as they came to an abrupt stop and the doors swung opened. It was their stop.

They got off. It had finally stopped raining and the two of them walked around outside Jin Woo’s building for a little while, finishing the conversation from the bus.

Min Ki occasionally lost his train of thought, or muddled his words, but his ideas were surprisingly cogent for as much as he’d had to drink.

He said, “We hold on to things we care about, the people we love so tightly that sometimes we sabotage our own happiness. We think—we falsely think that if we don’t change then the people we love won’t change either. We believe that if we live that way we won’t get hurt, through sheer grit and willpower. But that’s nonsense, hyung. The world keeps on spinning. Nothing stays in one place for long. For better or worse, things can’t remain as they are.” He took a deep breath, trailing off, “What was I saying?”

“About Ha Jin and me?”

“Right…right. I just think, if you want to know what happened way back then, you should find out for yourself. The past isn’t going to go away just because you ignore it. It came to find you in the first place, remember? If you run away, it will keep hounding you. And if you want more from your relationship with Ha Jin, you have to take a step forward first. If you live your whole life in fear of people abandoning you, that’s not going to make them stay. That’s how you end up alone. And…no matter what happens, I’ll be here. We’re soul mates, after all.”

“You see,” Jin Woo said, with a smirk as they got to his door, “This is why I don’t like hanging out with you.”

“Why? Because I’m always right?”

“Yeah.” He said it with a sigh and a sad smile. “You want to come up? You can crash here if you like.”

“Nah, I have to get going.”

Min Ki seemed a little lighter when they parted ways than he’d been when they met. But Jin Woo’s heart was still heavy.

Alone in his apartment Jin Woo tried to put the conversation with Min Ki from his mind, but his words continued to intrude on his thoughts. One phrase in particular:

“Nothing stays in one place for long. For better or worse, things can’t remain as they are.”

When that happens, what am I going to do? He honestly couldn’t think of an answer. That was how he knew he was in trouble and Min Ki was right. He couldn’t picture himself after this was over, and he was finding it increasingly difficult to remember what he was like before it started. He couldn’t form an image in his mind of the person he used to be. All he could do was hold on to what he had now with white-knuckled intensity.

Still, as hard as he tried he couldn’t catch hold of her. Even with her laying beneath his hands, he couldn’t grasp her. She was distant to him as the moon. And her body was only a narrow aperture through which he sometimes glimpsed Ha Jin’s true face. He longed to reach her somehow, to close that gulf between them. But he felt how malleable their connection was. Even now. How impossibly soft she became when they were alone. He didn’t know how he would do it, but he felt that he would inevitably break her if she ever let him in.

He was still lonely. He couldn’t blame that on Ha Jin, or Min Ki, or these new circumstances. He’d always been like this. He couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t felt it. The only difference was it used to be so much more bearable. Now, he wondered if this was the grudge he carried with him from his past lives, his punishment.

At times, when Jin Woo looked at Ha Jin, he felt that alien love threatening to overwhelm him with light and heat. A love that contained distant suns and galaxies. A love that would burn down empires for her. A love that had. And he didn't know how that feeling could exist within him, it was so far removed from anything he had ever known or imagined, but he felt it nonetheless.

The feeling frightened him, the way it would rise up of its own accord, without warning. And when it did, it seemed like he was capable of anything. Any impossible, horrible thing.

When this happened Jin Woo wondered if it was really him or someone else looking out at her through his eyes. The line between Lee Jin Woo and Wang So had grown alarmingly hazy of late. Not all of his emotions were authentic to him, that he was sure of. Some of them were artificial, borrowed, injected. But then…so what? So what if she was in love with someone else? He was the one beside her. And so what if this love that burned through him was a stolen fire, usurped from a king who had died a thousand years ago? Did that make the feeling any less real?

It sure seemed real enough.

He sat in his armchair, reclining slightly. Home shopping was flashing mutely on the television, and his phone was in his hand. He had started sobering up and he felt the warning pressure behind his eyes, the first signs of the coming hangover. Putting on and putting off these thoughts like old clothes well worn-in, he dozed off.

He dreamed of the cold, the first and answering howls of the pack of hungry wolves encircling him. He was too small, too weak, to defend himself. All he could do was build a fire among the roots of a great tree. The only thing in Shinju he’d dared to love. And he was burning it down just to survive.

The phone buzzing in his hand rescued him the nightmare. It was a few rings before he could focus his eyes and read the name that had flashed on the screen. There were tears on his cheeks.

Ha Jin was calling. He answered.

“Hey,” Her voice was soft and tired, but it was a balm for his aching heart.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. My phone died on the train. I’m sorry I worried you.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m glad you made it in safely. Are you at home now?”

“Yeah. I don’t think I’m going to unpack anything tonight. I’m just going to fall into bed.”

“That’s good. Get some rest.”

“I will. Goodnight.”

“Sweet dreams. I love you.”

The last three words slipped out of his mouth, before he realized they were hiding there. He’d disconnected the call before he could gauge her reaction. The awareness of what he’d just done hit him like shot of adrenaline. He was wide awake.

It was the first time he’d said that to her, and it had been an accident. He should have been mortified, and yet he found he didn’t regret those words at all. Because they were true.

[Chapter 7]

#scarlet heart #scarlet heart: ryeo #moon lovers #old souls #fan fic #fan fiction #chapter 6 #I know it took me forever to get this done #hopefully there won't be as much of a gap between this chapter and the next one #thanks to everyone who is still reading #I love you all

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ianb0hen · 7 years

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sooooooooooo purcon3 let’s do this

so we actually got there on thursday (james blunt was on our flight in like wtf????) and waited around to check in and explored what was around the hotel food wise so then went upstairs to get ready to get ready for little mix. then we went downstairs to ask at the desk where to buy a ticket for the trams and we saw rob checking in lol we had to point out where the lifts were cos that boy was not gonna go in the right direction.

anyways little mix and the vamps were fucking lit the crowd was so loud they were v good. so we went back and slept day 1 done

day 2 we explored some more got some pretzels it was chill. it was also really warm i was like wtf this isn’t what i signed up for. and then we like queued to register which only took like an hour and got our tickets to rob’s concert. we went upstairs got changed, did rob’s concert. ngl the crowd pissed me off. like a whole bunch of people were talking over him while he spoke and while he sang it was really rude???? i didn’t get why you would pay to go and not even listen to him. but i kept accidentally making eye contact with gil while i was singing along and i got embarrassed lmao.

day 3 first thing we did was matt’s lounge which got me so nervous i wish i recorded it on my phone but i thought it would be like rogue where you kept your bags somewhere else so i didn’t think i would have been able to but oh well. so matt answered some questions and like it went silent and he like looked at me and i put my hand up to ask something and he said “oh good i was going to pick on your because you were just sat there smiling” which i know i do i just can’t help it listening to him talk about his ideas and what he has to say makes me really happy. so yeah i asked what his favourite song in moana is and he got sooooooooo happy cos i know he loves that movie and he went on about it and was telling the other people who hadn’t seen it that they had to see it. he said there might be something cool happening next season, it’s not set in stone but if it happens it’s something he thinks everyone needs right now. and that something cool is gonna happen in the first part of the comic con panel and if there’s a livestream people should watch it. he asked who had travelled to be here and we said we were from england and he was like “where?” and we were like south west and he was like “but where?” and we were like bristol and he was like “but where?” and we were like farmer country and he talked about how he wants to move out of la eventually and go to oregon and set up a farm and be completely self sufficient food-wise and how he’s planted stuff in his garden and he really wants macklin to be surrounded by nature i thought that was so interesting and cute

so then after that there were panels and tbh i can’t really remember a lot but so photos i got two pictures with matt i got a kiss on the cheek (in which my eyes are closed and i got to retake the day after) i still got a pic of it tho and i kinda prefer it but i didn’t like the print out of it i just like the photo of the print so probably still a good move and then i wanted a full body hug without my face in it and i had to show him a pic on my phone and my hands were shaking so much when i tried to open it he was like ‘you’re okay it’s okay’. like i fr don’t know what happened to me this con cos at asylum 16 i was so chill but he made me so nervous and emotional at this one??? it was so weird. but yeah so we did that and then i did my rich and he said he liked my outfit and i was rly surprised i was like ‘OH! thank you!” and we did judging faces at the camera and i got a hug with rob because i don’t have a photo with him at all so yay.

then we got food and then did karaoke which was LIT we were second row and gil like posed for my camera (it’s my sister’s but i was taking the pics at that point) twice and rob smiled at us and matt gave us the mic during boulevard of broken dreams like and i was looking down and when i looked up at him he was already looking at me and smiling i wish i had taken pictures but it made me freeze up. but yeah i got some great photos

day 4 we had our r2m pictures first and we gave them sunglasses and were like “pretend you’re cool” and rich was like “pretend????? we are cool” and we were like ok dude and then we were like so you know in kings on con when you’re in the cupboard and matt’s like “rich is right you’re fuck up rob we want you gone!!” can we do that and after we took it they were like that’s so good and then i had my matt retakes and i actually bought another one with him in the morning lmao whatever i’m trash i’ve accepted it and i got one of us holding hands too because my last one rogue didn’t INCLUDE OUR HANDS IN THE PIC WYD but yeah so that was that it was then just panels for the rest of the day for me my sister had some other pics with rich and gil but i was done. the panels were odd, the questions were kinda generic and i felt like rich was lowkey done lmao and like i don’t think some of the jokes landed with the audience idk it felt like a v different atmosphere to the crowds in england. but yeah i also wish people would ask matt more questions???? i feel like he barely gets asked anything at r2m panels and it makes me kinda sad lol cos he’s actually really smart and heartfelt i wish he had the chance to speak more.

but anyways autos happened and okay i felt really emotional i wrote out a letter for matt in the queue just basically thanking him for coming to conventions and his openess with the fans and like thanking him for using his platform in the way that he does and the way he’s so positive. i told him in it that i don’t actually watch the show anymore but i come to the cons because of him mainly it was stuff i wish i could say to him but i thought it would be more articulate if i wrote it down so. i felt like i knew i was gonna cry on him so i wanted to do his auto last to kinda prepare myself more but he didn’t have a queue so we had to do him first :) so we went i had him sign my photo and like i thanked him for coming and i handed it to him and i could see my hands shake and i like felt my face crumple and i welled up and i was like “sorry” and he was like “no don’t cry” and i was like “i don’t know why i’m crying sorry” and he was like “as long as they’re happy tears yeah” and i was like yeah and thanked him again and like while we queued for gil like i still felt myself tearing up i never actually cried but like i just felt on the verge for like the whole of gil and rich’s queue lmao and i like saw him read it while we were queuing and i was like oh god no i want to take it back no and so my sister got her gil auto and then we did rich’s and he said i photograph really well and that i’m a very pretty person and omg rich is just so calming like to be around??? like matt made me feel so like emotional this weekend and rich was just like so chill and calm. so then we did rob and i had him sign my photo and we talked to him about his concert on friday then i had him write out my tattoo for me and when i said what it was he smiled and he looked idk so genuine when he looked at me and thanked me for coming so then i um and ah over getting a second matt auto mainly because i didn’t want my last interaction with him to be crying on him but then i thought i still might cry on him again if i got another so i left it and we hung about.

so then matt finishes autos and he leaves the room, he looks at me and i waved bye to him and he like stopped and came over and said “i read your letter. thank you so much for doing that for me. I will definitely keep coming back to cons for you” and he said to my sister “i don’t know if you feel the same way” and she was like “she wouldn’t let me read it” which was true lmao and he said it was so sweet and he would be coming back and my sister said about asylum and he said he should be due for the one next year and that we had to pester wayne to get him rob and rich to come and then we hugged him and that was that. i’m so happy he did that it literally made my weekend.

then the closing ceremony happened and gil sang music of the night and i died and yeah we all sang the musical version of carry on my wayward son it was sad and made me emo that was the last episode of supernatural that i actually watched so (bar matt’s most recent one). then we went to get food and my sister had to go up and get the ice cream sandwich she ordered and all the guests turned up we were like ffs and then they ordered and said bye when we left and then we waited like 10 mins before leaving cos we didn’t wanna look like we were following them lmao.

yeah i was a great weekend, it was kinda odd cos it didn’t actually feel like it was happening while it was??? and it doesn’t actually feel like it happened as i write this??? like i’m sad that it’s over but also in a hollow way????? but also matt’s friend on twitter screenshotted my tweets and matt liked the tweet so he saw me saying mark sheppard is a shady ass which is

so yeah day 5 we explored but we couldn’t really appreciate it cos it was fucking 31 degrees and then we flew home

i have work tomorrow i don’t want to go i just want to lie in bed and be sad about matt not being my best friend. anyways that’s everything i think i love rich i love rob and i love matt very much i hope i get to see him again next year

#text #i literally sdo these for myself so i can read them back and be like :) but anyways #myposts #cons #purcon 3

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