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madllamamomma · 4 years

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Journey Back to the South Part7~

[SO, no Smut this chapter (it’s coming... haha...), I guess SWF, if you don’t mind violence and profanity... lots of FLUFF!]

The Highwayman~

While Muriel and Shawn are still making their way down the hill; Unbenounced to Shona, Ava stands frozen behind her as she continues to yell at you relentlessly through her swelling tears with such rage. “...WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CAN’T SPEAK ANYMORE?! IT WAS BECAUSE AVA SAVED ME FROM A DISGUSTING BIRD-NOSED, BURGUNDY-EYE, PALE-FACED, TRAVELISH HIGHWAYMEN WHO ATTACKED ME!!!” A large tea finally drips down her pretty face, softening it for a movement as she drops her gaze to the icy ground. Soon the tears start to freely flow down her cheeks. “...It’s my fault that my twin sister almost died!!! And I won’t let that ever happen again to them or anyone else in my cla—”

Shona stops mid-word, finally taking notice of you looking behind her and she slowly turns around. Ava is just beaming at Shona with intense devastation on their face. She locks eyes with her sister, and a large artic-like breeze floats over the frigid grass and forget-me-notes on the hillside as a very tense silence takes over. You start to see snow flurries start to fall, looking up as the sky is grey so suddenly. The solstice is in three days… and Winter is already starting to show its face. Shona visibly shivers from head to toe, but it’s not from the icy wind. She then sharply shakes her head then attempts to hastily walk off, but Ava grabs her wrist tightly before she could get away. “WHAT, AVA?!” Shona shouts, tearing her arm back, trying to stop her tears. Ava starts to quickly speak with their hands, somehow keeping their composure, their face is however filled with such pure anguish and emotion, it breaks your heart. But Shona just growls frustratedly. “—NO! It is my fault, Ava!!!” Shona seems to be a very level headed person to you. She is one of the eldest, she probably has to be… But even she has a breaking point apparently; it’s evident as she starts to completely unravel in front of you. A hard sob just overwhelms her as she continues to shout unable to stop herself. “...Everyone pretends that it isn’t my fault, Ava! Even you do!! Like- Like it didn’t even happen!.... But it did! It fucking did!! Everybody pretends that it’s just fine that you just can’t talk anymore!! You pretend that it's fine!!!—But I know you! I know you hate not being able to speak!” Ava’s eyes dart to the ground, their lips tighten into a deep mournful frown. “—I know how many times you’ve cried to yourself at night after Papa tells the old stories! I know how much you want to be up there with him!! I know that you do care! And we’ve never talked about it—EVER!! It’s so…. infuriating—!” Without warning Ava wraps their arms around Shona’s shoulders and hugs her tightly, eyes watery, face scrunched. “L-L….Let me go, Ava!!” She protests, attempting to fight herself out of Ava’s arms. But it's useless, they may be the same height, but Ava has more muscle and weight on Shona. It takes about a half minute until she stops flailing and begrudgingly accepting their embrace.

As Muriel and Shawn make it down the hillside. With tears also in your eyes, you reach out wanting to just comfort Shona, she’s in so much pain. But Muriel grabs your waist, and gently pulls you close to his chest. It’s a good thing that he did. It’s not really your place, you might even make her angrier. Lowering your hand you look up at Muriel’s face, half expecting rage like he had on top of the hill, but it seemed to have faded away. He feels it too, the pain that the twins have. It hurts. And you both feel pity for Shona. …Of course it was a Traveler.

But Shawn just glares at the twins with his brow a bit furrowed, something obviously on his mind. “What, Shawn?!” Shona scowls sharply wiping her tears, feeling her brother’s stare, but refusing to look at anyone.

Shawn takes in a deep breath with his nostrils flared, finally opening his mouth to speak, you've never seen him so upset. “Do you really think that, Shona?.... Do you think we don’t care?!—Of course we do!!!” He throws down the training staffs on the ground. “..We’ve tried talking about it, but you both wouldn’t!! Nothing has been the same since that day!!! Papa and Momma have never been the same!!! Keavy has never been the same!!! I’ve never been the same!!..... You have never been the same!” He pauses for a brief second, then swallows hard. “...My older sisters… My sisters almost died… for a few minutes that day… I really thought… that I became the eldest. And...I... I wasn’t ready for that!..... I wasn’t ready for my sisters to die! But…. in a way one did.” Shawn's eyes start to water and his voice cracks and shakes, but his brow is still narrow and a bit angry himself. “....Ava’s voice wasn’t the only thing that was lost that day!...” He chokes on his words as he fights back the tears. “I-... I lost my Shona… And I miss her.... I miss her so much.” Shona closes her eyes and buries her face in Ava’s fur cloak. Shawn is so much like Gilbert, usually pretty cheerful and happy. It’s jarring to see him this way. But he looks so hurt as well. Your chest feels so heavy. You want to help somehow, but… what can you do? You grasp Muriel’s hand over your waist and hold tight. He squeezes your waist tenderly, comforting you.

Shawn turns away and just stomps off towards the tundra, looking like he’s in such pain as he hides his tears.—It seems like it hurts the entire family harder than they lead on. The Kokhuri are strong, but they care so much for one another, their hearts are so big, they hurt when others do; you can even feel it in Muriel. He lets go of your waist, but still holds your hand and tugs you a long to chase after Shawn before he gets too far. It's good that he acted. You both may not be able to do anything constructive for the twins, but you can at least be there for poor Shawn. As you both catch up with him, Ava manages to lead Shona away back to camp. “...Hey.” Muriel grabs Shawn’s shoulder comfortingly and they both stop in their tracks as he cries a little, still facing away. He can’t help it. After a minute or two, he then straightens up and turns back around wiping his nose and eyes.

Shawn gives a sharp nod, appreciating Mureil’s comfort. “I-...I’m sorry, Cousin Muriel…And Rhemi… I—.”

“Don’t be, Shawn. It’s ok.” Muriel mutters calmly to him.

You take in a deep breath and look up into the sky as the snow flurries start to fall down a bit more. It doesn’t seem to be letting up, and it’s getting colder by the minute. “... Come on you two. Were obviously done for the day.” You murmur, grabbing Shawn’s parka sleeve and tug him along. “Do you like tea, Shawn?” You look up at him with a softy wary smile still walking as Muriel grabs the training staffs from the ground.

He sniffles a little forcing a small grin. “...Yeah. I do... Some tea sounds…. sounds really nice, actually.” He says with a fake snort, attempting to regain his composure.

The three of you get to your and Muriel’s tent and you whip up some of your favorite blend of chai tea. It always seems to help with the cold. It’s quiet as you all sit around the fire and get warm, but then Shawn finally speaks again. “.... I was almost thirteen when it happened.” Muriel looks to him and hands him a cup, looking very genuine as he listens intently. “It was summer, we traveled closer to the Great Gate I think for trading… Shona and Momma make some parkas to sell…. These Highwaymen came out of nowhere at twilight… I just felt so powerless as they raided our tents… Shona found a few yards away from her tent and she was really badly beaten up…. Her body was covered in bruises and cuts for weeks. She even had a concussion and she couldn’t see out of her left eye it was so swollen… But then we found the men all with Ava. It took four or five of them to pin them down, their throat was…. just.... T-... There was… blood everywhere.... The man was laughing.... Luckily the band that we travel with had a doctor and a healer and they acted quickly. Papa even gave his blood to save Ava. Shona tired to, but he wouldn’t allow it because she was hurt as well. It was some kind of weird ritual.”

You nod a bit, knowing what he's talking about. “A blood transfusion… It’s actually not a ritual at all. It’s science. Medicine without magic. It can be very risky. But apparently it was successful…” Shawn stares at you for a little with his head tilted.

“Rhemi worked for our friend who’s a doctor back at home a few years ago.” Muriel explains and Shawn nods seeming to understand.

“...When we realized that Ava couldn’t really talk anymore, we didn’t say anything. So in a way, I guess Shona is right…. We didn’t want to make them feel any worse. But I don’t think we realized that Shona believed it was her fault. It’s not. At the time, I think it didn’t matter that Ava couldn’t talk anymore. We were just glad that our Ava was alive… We may fight and sometimes get on each other’s nerves, but…. I don't know what I’d do without Ava. They are one of the bravest people I know….. Ava is my best friend… and I love them.”

Muriel sighs deeply. “.... That sounds like it was really difficult… And you were just a boy… I’m…. I’m sorry, Shawn.”

Shawn grins a little at Muriel. “.... It’s just what happened… But I think our Great Mother and Father still have plans for Ava… They must have.”

You pour some more hot tea into Shawn’s cup. It looks so small in his large hands. “What do you mean about losing Shona?”

Shawn stares at the flames lost in thought for a moment. “After that day, she’s never been the same. I have always been closer to Ava and Keavy was closer to Shona, but she was the sister I could really rely on. If Momma or Papa were too busy, she was always there. She was kind, compassionate, understanding, and warm… Ava would tell us scary stories to frighten us, but Shona was the one that sang us lullabies and comforted us. But not anymore….. after that day. She just…. changed. I mean... they both changed. But Shona more than Ava. Shona pushed all her friends from the other band we travel with away, she even pushed Keavy and Momma away. She wouldn’t make any new friends and she became so quiet... cold and rigid. Now she’s too busy taking care of everything else, even when she doesn’t need to. She just makes clothing and takes care of our little siblings. But now she does it all without any of the warmth that she had before. She just sticks with Ava and herself. She doesn’t seem to…I… I don’t know…”

“...Live?” Muriel mutters.

Shawn glances up at Muriel as he exchanges a knowing look. “Y-Yeah. Exactly… it’s like she’s lost faith in people.” Muriel pushes out a very heartfelt sigh, but stays quiet. He knows more than anyone about losing faith in humanity.

You sit there next to Muriel and Shawn by the fire and look at your half empty tea cup. “... I feel like all I’ve done is reopen old wounds for Shona. I’m… I’m really sorry.”

Shawn shakes his head. “You can’t help what you look like, Rhemi. Nobody can. Besides, she doesn’t even know you. It isn’t fair of her to judge you like that…. I think deep down she’s just… afraid still.”

“I had a feeling that Travelers weren’t highly regarded, but…. I didn’t expect this.”

“Those highwaymen weren’t all Travelish. Just the leader and maybe a few others were. There are thousands of lowlifes out there and they all come from every corner of the world. It shouldn’t matter in my opinion. They don’t represent their people, a community does. I’ve come to that conclusion overtime… They could have even been other Kokhurians as far as I know. Doesn’t matter--Those people were just… evil thugs…. And they’re gone now…”

“They-...they got away?” Muriel asks with a little shock.

Shawn looks away and shakes his head very slowly with a bleak expression. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before he finally pushes out the words. “...After Papa saw them with Shona and Ava… He and a few other fighters killed them all… I…. I helped bury them. Those highwaymen didn’t give him much of a choice. They even tried to kill him too.” Muriel grimaces a little and places his hand back on Shawn's shoulder, but stays silent again. Shawn nods a little to himself and somehow presses on. “...Papa hates killing, but he will do anything for us. I know it…. That day, he had to choose… and he chose his children’s life over theirs.” Shawn takes a swig of his hot tea seemingly enjoying it. It must calm his nerves as well. Muriel pulls his hand away and stiffens at the thought of Gilbert killing anyone. You can’t really see it in the normally jolly man either, but he did however survive the battle with the Scourge. And although uncomfortable with the thought, Muriel seems to understand, who knows what he would have done given the same circumstances.

Shawn then smiles at a thought as he pulls the cup away from his lips and looks directly at you breaking a tense silence that took over. “I, ah...I kept pestering Ava about what you two were really doing lately, Rhemi. They told me that you're teaching them some kind of magic. They didn’t tell me why, or what it’s for, but it seems to be important to them. And they haven’t been this happy in a long time…. You’re not a bad person, Rhemi. It doesn’t matter who those men were. Momma said she had friends that were Travelish… From what I understand, they are not a bad tribe. Ha… Even if you were Scourge I think Momma and Papa would like you regardless. No one can’t help what other people have done. You shouldn’t be hated for the actions of different individuals.”

Muriel snorts a bit with a small grin. “..Ya’ know....For a kid, you’re pretty wise.”

Shawn puts back in his slightly smug ego back on. “Well that's because I’m not a kid! I am almost eighteen after all!” He then puffs his chest out and smirks, deepening his voice. “I’m a man.”

“.... Yeahhhh…. No- You’re a kid.” Muriel bark a short laugh. “I actually wish I was as insightful as you were…. You’re a lot like your parents.”

Shawn shrugs with a large grin. “Yeah. I guess so…” He takes his last sip of his tea and the grin falls looking at the tea cup. “...Please don’t tell anyone what happened. I’d never hear the end of it from the twins.”

“We won’t.” Muriel utters with a small reassuring grin.

You open your hand and Shawn gives you his now empty cup and relaxes a little more. He seems rather relieved now. “Thanks for listening, Cousin… Rhemi. I appreciate it.” He mutters as he stands to his feet.

“Anytime, Shawn.” You say, grabbing hold of Muriel’s hand.

After Shawn leaves you just lay on the ground on your back looking up into the hole in the tent where the fire smoke escapes, seeing the snow flurries still coming down. “We need to get that covered soon…”

“You alright?” Muriel mutters to you closing the tent entrance.

You think about if for a moment. “.....I wanna be… I will be... It’s not the first time I was hated for being part Traveler.”

“...What?”

Your face feels a bit flushed all of a sudden. “Oh… I never mentioned that I guess.”

His brow narrows a bit looking frustrated. You stick up your pointer finger at him before he could say anything as he opens his mouth. “Okay—In my defense I just forgot.” He sighs and relaxes slightly, but still looks a bit grumpy at you. “..But when Una said I was a Traveler, I suddenly remembered little glimpses of people screaming and yelling at me to get lost…calling me ‘traveler trash’. I kinda even remember someone kicking me in the gut too.”

“What? When?” Slight concern and anger behind his tone. The thought of anyone hurting you burns him right up.

“That's why I jumped and held my stomach the other day in their tent—”

“—N-no… I meant.. when did that happen?”

“Oh… T-that part I don’t really remember… But I think I was younger. I only remember being smaller than everyone else.”

He relaxes once again. Then softens his gaze. “...You’re not bad Rhemi.”

“I… I know. I know you know….But…. still doesn’t make me feel any better. Your cousin hates me. I wouldn't have cared if it was for any other reason, but… Some assholes really hurt those two. And that blood runs in my veins.”

“It shouldn’t matter. You didn’t hurt them.”

You sit up on your butt and pull your knees into your chest and grab your traveling cloak, covering your head and the rest of your body with it. “...No, but to Shona, I might as well have. I don’t think there isn’t anything I can do to change her mind now.” Your voice is muffled slightly by the fur, making everything dark underneath.

Muriel sighs sharply and you can feel him as he scoots over, sitting in front of you. “If I’m honest... I don’t know what to do about it either...”

You smile a little, lifting up the cloak and inviting him in. He obliges, scooting close to you under your small cloak. It’s no longer dark underneath… But it feels better with him there. “... I would rather you be honest anyways. Sometimes that’s better than being falsely optimistic… like I try to do sometimes.”

“... You just hope. It’s ok to do that. That's what I respect about you. You give people light even in the darkest of places.” He speaks so softly and kisses your temple.

You snuggle closer to him feeling a bit proud of him. Words are so hard for him usually. “That was…. really nice, Muriel. For someone who thinks he’s bad at words, that was rather poetic.”

His face suddenly flushes and he snorts. “—A fluke. Don’t ask for it again. It won’t happen….” You both laugh a little, and you cup his face with your hand feeling his stubble under your fingertips. You both lean into one another, lips inches apart for a kiss.

Suddenly you both hear bubbling water from the tea kettle that’s now off the fire and you both pull away and hastily take off your cloak. “... you don’t think…?” You whisper looking at him pointedly.

Muriel gets off the floor and leans over the kettle, taking off the top and can see the water continue to bubble and you both can feel Asra’s magic. Muriel quickly grabs a nearby bucket and pour the water in so you both can see it better as his image comes through. “Rhemi?... Muriel?”

“...We’re here, Asra.” Muriel smiles a bit wider. He misses him, and so do you. It good to hear his voice.

“Oh, good! So you both are still in one piece I see.”

You smile warily. “Yeah. We are. We have so much to talk abo—”

“Ooo you got through?! Good!!” Julian pushes himself in front of the water and his face comes into full view. “—MURIEL!! You better bring your soon to be wife back to us safely so Pasha and I can dress her up for her big day!!!”

“....Ilya.” Muriel grumbles rolling his eyes out of habit.

Julian just gives you his famous smirk at Muriel. “You miss me! Admit it, Big-guy!!”

“Never!” He sneers annoyingly with pink paint on his face, making you laugh a little. He will won't ever say it, but he does miss the silly doctor... In his own way.

Asra playful pushes Julian’s face with his hand, trying to ignore his interjection. “We were all getting a bit worried. You haven’t checked in at all since you both left…. and I… I miss you both. The shop isn’t the same without you two.”

You feel rather sad when Asra says that. “We miss you too, Asra. And sorry about that….. a ah…. A lot has happened lately.”

“Indeed.” Another voice suddenly chimes in. It's a very familiar woman’s voice; Sophisticated, diplomatic and silky sounding.

You and Muriel shudder a bit. Immediately realizing the voice. “Oh…. H-Heya, Nadia!” You nervously chuckle feeling a small bead of sweet.

Nadia’s beautiful face comes into view. “So…. You both couldn’t just tell me the good news yourselves?”

You both flush a bit and Muriel groans irritatedly. “What… ah….. what exactly did you hear?” You ask trying not to act like you know.

“Oh nothing except my two champions are getting married when they return to us!” Muriel and you exchange a look, feeling a little guiltily. “... When were you two planning on telling me? I was right there that day giving you left. I felt a little left out of the loop...”

“Uggghhh…. Julian, I’m never telling you anything again….” You grumble looking for him as he attempts to hide behind her. “Sorry Nadia. We were not expecting to tell anyone that day.”

“Someone just sticking his nose where it didn’t belong at the time.” Muriel scoffs pointedly looking for Julian too.

Nadia smiles. “Oh, I’m only teasing you two! I understand that you like your privacy. You both are somewhat celebrities now, I know you don’t want the whole city would be knowing about it. But don’t worry, I also know how to keep secrets.” She winks with an eyebrow raised.

Asra smiles widely and pats Nadia on her shoulder. “So did you two find what you were looking for down at the Steppe? Did those weird dreams go away?”

You both look at each other for a moment, not exactly knowing where to start. “Well.. actually…”

“—Wait up Nana!!” You hear the tent entrance suddenly fly open as Inanna comes trotting in to get close to the fire and Ida following in after. “Oh!…” She steps back out and sheepishly looks at her feet. “....May….May I come in your tent?”

Muriel nods and sees her little hands, they look rather cold. “Come in and get warm, Ida.”

She smiles and darts right in but as soon as he sees the water she stops and looks at it with amazement and sits in between both of you, peering with astonishment into the water. “What’s this??”

“Muriel…. who’s… is this little one?”

Ida shudders and turns away from the water, tucking down her hood tightly and wraps her little arms around Muriel’s bicep attempting to hide. You both smile and laugh at her shyness. “... This is Ida. She’s… uhh… my cousin. One of them at least.”

Asra gasps. “Y-your cousin?? Wait—Muriel!! You have family?!? There are other Kokhuri still alive??” Asra, Julian, and Nadia’s eyes and mouth widen with surprise and excitement.

“Apparently I do... There are about thirty or so.” Muriel continues and explains how you both come to find out about the other Kokhurians and the gathering and why you’ve both been busy.

Asra looks like he almost has tears in his eyes as he looks at you both. “I... I’m speechless, Muriel. I’m so happy for you!!! So how long are you two going to stay? All winter?”

“No. We are staying until the solstice.. Maybe a few days after that. There is a ritual they do every year, and they asked if we would stay until then.”

“Well stay for as long as you need to! Don’t worry about us.” Nadia says cheerily.

“Asra, Jules, are you going to survive without us for a while?” You say with a giggle.

The two of them laugh a little in unison. “We will miss you both, but we’ll make it. As long as you promise to come back that is! Maybe drop into my teacup again every once in a while.”

“... We will.” Muriel snorts. You both wave goodbye as all three of their faces disappear in the water. Ida finally looks back towards the water and sees her own reflection. “...Morning, Ida.”

“M-... Maidin mhaith.” She mumbles.

“What brings you to our tent, Ida?” You ask while moving the bucket of water to the corner of the tent as she continues to warm herself up by the fire.

“Um… I….” Ida sticks her hand in her pocket averting her eyes. She then shakes her head and pulls her hand out with nothing in her hand. “... Nana and I were playing then it got cold. Shawn came out and… and I thought Ava was in here too.”

Muriel exhales hard looking a bit torn about this morning. “...Why are you looking for Ava?”

Ida shrugs sheepishly and her cheeks blanch. “I... I like to watch them spare…” She mumbles, sounding like she’s half fibbing.

“The sparring session was… cancelled last minute. Sorry, Ida.”

Ida looks a bit disappointed as she looks into the fire and stands back to her little feet. “Oh….”

“But you can stay until you get warm.”

“T-.. Thank you.” Ida pets Inanna on her head “...But I am warm now.” She dashes out of the tent. “Bye, Nana! Bye, Cousin and not-Cousin!”

Muriel and you can't help but giggle a bit at Ida's sudden exit and wrap your arms around your hermit, continuing the cuddling before being interrupted. After you’re finally done sulking from things that are out of your control, you have a feeling you need to go and find Ava and talk to them. Begrudgingly untangling yourself from Muriel’s arms, you place your cloak back on and go out into camp to hunt them down.

You quietly search, but are getting nowhere quickly. But you try not to ask anyone where Ava is. As you nearly give up and consider asking someone, you then remember a searching spell that you read about, but you haven't tried before, but you need an object that was the person you're looking for. Luckily, you still have Ava’s pencil and you pull it out of your bag. Clearing your mind, you lift your right hand with the pencil laying flat in your palm. You focus solely on locating Ava while magic rushes to your palm and the pencil starts to float, spinning in circles for a moment. It then finally stops with the sharp end pointing like a needle of a compass towards the graveyard. The snow flurries still won’t make up their mind to actually start to snow or to stop as you make your way over to the tombstones. It’s still pretty cold, even with your extra layers underneath. You can’t imagine how cold it would be in the middle of winter as your hand starts to feel a little numb.

It takes you nearly twenty minutes, but finally you see someone with dark hair and a thick fur cloak sitting on a small hill overlooking the tombstones. Their knees drawn up into their chest, looking lost in thought. The magic recedes from your hand and the pencil falls back into your palm. “Hey, Ava…” They start a little, surprised to see that you have found them. The blink a few times confused. You must say it is a good hiding spot. You quickly show them the spell with the pencil and they nod a little before looking very solemnly back at the graveyard. You make your way up the hill and sit next to them. Despite how cold and bleak it is being in a graveyard on an icy tundra, it is still somehow beautiful as ever. Silence takes root for a few minutes, but then you break it reluctantly. “I… I’m really sorry about you and your sister. I.. knew you were hurt, but… I had no idea about her.”

They shake their head and look at you sadly and slowly speak their hands you can understand. “No, I’m sorry. Nothing to do with you…. ”

“Something I don’t understand is why are you keeping this all a secret, Ava? Your sister was rather hurt over it. She was very suspicious and thought we were doing something bad.”

They sink into their shoulders before moving their legs and cross them. They pull out the small notebook you gave them out of their cloak and you hand them back their pencil. Once they are done writing they hand the notebook to you. “... ‘Shona and I had a little conversation about it. I told her that you were just teaching me magic and it wasn’t a big deal. She’ll leave you alone now. I still don’t want anyone to know about the Illuminator thing… It was a dumb idea anyway.’... ”

An instinctive sigh escapes your mouth and you stop reading halfway after you see that. “But why, Ava?—”

They give you a slightly annoyed look and tap the notebook, cuing you to continue. “... ‘Papa will never admit it, but I know that he was disappointed that I wasn’t able to become a Master Speaker, and so was I. If he dies, most of our history goes with him. I wanted nothing more than to be like him and he knows it, it kills him to see me like this, a fraction of the person I was… I know you're going to ask me ‘why’, so before you do—I don’t want anyone to know that I want to be an Illuminator because what if I can’t do it? It would make everyone disappointed in me again. And I can’t bear that. I rather no one know, and I only let down myself then disappoint my people once more..’.”

Have they ever spoken with Gilbert about all of this?... Maybe he doesn’t feel that way at all. You sigh heavily as you put the notebook down on your lap, thinking about how much you want to say your thoughts out loud. But maybe now isn’t the time. You don’t agree with Ava’s logic, but you do empathize with it. “... Alright, Ava.” You huff reluctantly. A small shiver runs down your spine when a gust of cold wind blows over, making you close the opening of your cloak to keep you warm. “.... I… I know it’s not my place… But is your sister… better?... She was…. really upset.”

Ava looks towards the cloudy sky for a moment before answering in the notebook with a slow nod. “... ‘I’m sorry about that. She calmed down now, but won’t come out of the tent, but I needed to get some air. That discussion was a long time coming I suppose. She’s right, we never speak of that day… It was one of the worst days of our lives. But I had no idea she blamed herself all this time. I feel guilty that we never spoke about it before now. I guess we’re both still broken.’ ” They tried to scratch out that last sentence, but you can see it if you squint.

I knew Ava was hurt. But I had no idea Shona was hurt too. But some scars aren't visible. “...Is that why you didn’t like me either when you first met me? Not because I was an outsider, but because I am part Traveler?” Ava sharply glances to you and stares for a moment before slowly looking back towards the tombstones again, seeming to feel ashamed. Finally they sigh heavily and nod. Your gaze drops to the forget-me-nots that are next to you, it amazes you how they can survive these cold icy conditions while the other wildflowers are already starting to wither. No wonder Muriel likes them. “.... I understand why no one ever told me the truth… Do you really cry at night after Gilbert tells the old tales?”

They close their eyes for half a minute before they answer in the notebook.“.. ‘I used to every night, and sometimes I still do… I still have a voice. It's just a silent one, and I will be heard. But I won’t lie, it still hurts.. I miss talking. I miss singing. I miss telling stories’..”

Your heart aches when finished reading. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Ava.”

Ava brow furrows a bit and they exhale hard out their nostrils. “...It wasn’t Shona’s fault. Not your fault either. It was those assholes. Don’t be sorry.” They say with their hands very slowly, but their face is filled with such somber emotion.

The thought of a knife slicing your throat makes you shudder as the imagery creeps unwantedly into your head. Instinctively you clutch your throat and gulp audibly and you ask before you could stop yourself. “... Weren’t you afraid? I mean didn’t it hurt?—” You shake your head realizing what came out of your mouth. “-Geez! I’m sorry, Ava, I shouldn’t have asked that. It just came out...”

Surprisingly they shake their head slowly, and don’t seem to mind that you asked. They grab the notebook back, turn to a fresh page and start writing again, this time it takes them a while and what they write fills up an entire page and a half. “... ‘At the time I just wanted them to leave Shona alone and my family alone. She fought them all back as much as she could, she never gave up. She apparently kicked one in the balls really hard, and pissed him off. But he started to kick and hit her relentlessly. Once I started to attack them, I really didn't have time to be scared. I was just full of rage, and all I could think about getting those assholes off of her. I fought them, I even stabbed one with my spear, and cut one guy’s ear off, but unfortunately I didn’t kill them. I was young, around fifteenth at the time. I wasn’t nearly as strong or skilled as I am now and a few finally wrestled the spear from out of my hands. I tried to pull out my knife to defend myself, but before I could, the highwaymen all pinned me down on the ground. The leader stomped on my hand until I let go of it, then turned my own knife on me. But they at least let Shona finally go, she wouldn’t have lasted much longer. The leader looked me in the eyes and said. “You stupid fuck, you just killed yourself.”

When he cut my throat, I didn’t hurt. But it stung. My chest and neck felt warm and wet, then I felt cold. Immediately after he cut me, Papa and the other fighters came. The leader was still looking at me, smiling at me with his evil grin showing me my own bloody knife. Then he suddenly had an arrow through his skull. The rest started to run off, but they all cut down. No one escaped that night. I was laying there in the cool grass, I looked up into Father Sky and gazed at the stars. The next thing I know, Shona is there holding my throat with her hands trying to stop the bleeding. I saw her trying to talk to me, but for some reason I couldn’t hear her. Everything became very slow around me… It was strange really, it wasn’t what I expected. In that movement I wasn’t afraid—I never felt so peaceful before then. With those thugs gone, I knew Shona and my family were alright. So I started to let go and I slipped into dark unconsciousness…’..”

It's so hard to read all of this, but you shallow the large lump in your throat and push out a heavy exhale and continue onto the next page. “...The healer could only do so much, she used magic like you do. From what I understand, she could only stop the bleeding, but there was much damage that she couldn’t fix and I lost a lot of blood. When I woke up, that's when it all became painful. Very painful. I could barely pick up my head by myself, let alone sit up or function normally. Despite all of Shona’s injuries, she never left my side. My family had to help me like a damn infant. I couldn’t eat solid foods for a while and I lost a significant amount of weight in a short amount of time. Momma and Papa feared I would still die despite everything. My family and the other people from the band we travel with worked so hard to keep me alive. I knew I had to try to survive for them…

‘...I never told anyone this before. But sometimes I still feel like I was better off dying there in the grass that night. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad I am alive… but I think it’s more painful for my family to see me like this than for me to be dead. I can’t tell anyone else that, especially my folks. Even Shona or Shawn. It would break their hearts to know that entire time I was recovering, deep down I just wanted them to let me go..’.”

You hold the notebook for a while and read the last line over and over. It hits you so hard. “Do…. Do you still feel like that, Ava?” They huff thoughtfully and shrug, not seeming to be very sure. You exhale hard through your nose. “I… I can understand actually.” Ava looks at you a little confused and you blow out a cloud of air and watch it in amusement. Then you decide to use a little magic to make a little cloud into a form of a small bird, making it flutter and you both watch as it whisks away before you continue. “.... I got sick from a plague back at home five years ago and…. and… I wasn’t afraid of death either. But I regretted that I didn’t get to say goodbye to my best friend before they left...”

Their eyes suddenly widen in disbelief. And write in the notebook, “... ‘But I heard you say that you don’t have memories after four years ago. Did your friend die?..’.”

You ponder on this for a moment, think whether to lie or to just tell the truth. Only your close friends back at home know the truth…. you haven't made really any new ones since. Maybe it’s time to take a step. “...You wanna know the truth, Ava?” You mutter under your breath. They nod warily looking a little suspicious. “I was me.” Ava just looks even more confused and asks you to repeat with their hands, thinking that they might not have heard you correctly. “...My friend just left the city I was in…. But I didn’t recover.... Five years ago… I died from that plague.” Ava bright green eyes are burning a hole through you as they beam at you completely unconvinced. Attempting to see any deception behind your expression, but once they can’t find any, they start to breathe a little more heavily in astonishment. “...My friends Asra, Julian, Nadia and even Muriel helped bring me back to life. That was before Muirel really knew me—The other realms that are mentioned in your people’s old stories are true. The Arcana are in them, ancient magical beings not of this world. Muriel and I even travelled through those realms—We fought the devil. Ha... We even saw Khamgalai there… it's strange... because shedidn’tmentionanyofyouforsomereasonnowthatIthinkaboutit…” Your eyes dart over to Ava whose face is blank, catch your breath and clear your throat, realizing you're getting off topic and ranting. “Anyways—My friends all had to pay a price to bring me back to this plane of existence.”

“...Why are you telling me this?” They finally ask with their hands.

“.... Because, you're my friend, Ava. You feel like you can tell me things. I feel like I can tell you things about me. And…. I just want you to know you're not alone. I felt that way in the end too. I wasn’t afraid, I was fine with dying. There is this moment when I knew it was going to happen, that there was no fighting it. Instead of being scared, instead of rejecting the idea, it was almost…. relieving…. My Aunt Athena used to tell me all the time, ‘Life is a cycle. Things are born, things live, then things die. New life comes after’… but… I went against the cycle. In a way you did as well. No other human would have survived that injury, yet you did. I’m not…. natural… Neither of us are I guess. And I’m still coming to terms with being alive and I think you are too… I guess what I’m trying to say is, dying was the easy part, but living is… difficult. I feel like I was better off still dead some days too. It’s… hard… really hard… And that feeling… doesn’t go away completely. Especially living with the guilt.” You smile a little and reach out for their bicep and pat it gently. “... You’re not weak for feeling like you wanted to give up, Ava. Because despite it, you still keep going, and that is what makes you strong.”

Ava looks out to the tundra and there is a long silence. Finally they take the notebook and write a short question. “... ‘Do you remember anything…. after?’”

“No. Not really—Khamgalai said there wasn’t really an afterlife… life just changes and takes new form…” Once you finish, you then think about it hard, that was the most obscure time and there was something. It actually makes you grin a little. “...Actually… I do kinda think I remember one thing… Flying. But like a bird…. or maybe it was just part of a dream. I’m not sure… But whichever it was… It wasn’t bad.”

Cool silence takes over once again as you both watch the snow flurries cease from falling down and the heavy cold snowy clouds start to move along down the tundra, revealing clear sky’s.

A tear falls down Ava’s cheek as they take the notebook again and write down something. “.. ‘I just feel like ever since they save me, I’ve just been a disappointment now.’ ”

You scoot a little closer to Ava just wanting to hug them, but know it is rather inappropriate and may send a wrong message. It sucks being such an affectionate person sometimes… What's worse is that you understand what they mean. You often think about Asra and how he must miss the old you, the you before you died. He still cares and loves you regardless, he always will, but there is no denying that you're a little different now, you sometimes feel like you disappoint him too. He tells you all the time that it's just your head talking too much. Maybe it's true, but then again…You’ll never know what in his head. But with Ava it's different. You know that isn’t true… “You’re not a disappointment, Ava. Your family and kin loves you so much. I can see it and I can feel it. Not just because you wanted to be a Master Speaker, but because you're you. You’re strong, competitive, responsible, kind but fierce, an incredibly fast learner, a fantastic older sibling, and just a plain badass!!” They flush a bit when you say that and a hint of a small grin curls in the left corner of their mouth. “...But… you still have your life to live. And you should make what you want out of it. You’re allowed to want things for yourself. Whether you like it or not, you're alive… you should make the most of it.”

Ava sniffles and they wipe away the stray tears. They nod slowly, lips pressed tightly together and start to move their hands. “Thank you,” They then made a new gesture you don’t really know. They flick their wrist back over their left shoulder like they were flipping back an imaginary ponytail.

You tilt your head a little in confusion. “What's that one?” Ava sticks out their bottom lip a bit and slightly looks embarrassed and points to you, then it makes you realize that's what you do when you put your hair into a ponytail. You did it before you went up against them in the games. You flip it back, just like they gestured. I guess that's their way to say my name like how Ida’s is a hood and Shona’s long braid. That's really sweet actually…. You wipe away a stray tear as well and you can feel a large smile dance across your lips as you quickly stand up to your feet. “So, Ava…. you still wanna be an Illuminator or what?” Ava stares at you perplexed. “Well? What are your plans, Ava? How do we get you to be one?” They just flutter their eyes for a moment, baffled by your sudden encouragement and you reach out your hand to help them back up to their feet. “What? Did you really think I was going to give up on my pupil just because their twin sister told me to get lost? PFFT!! It takes a lot more than telling me to go away to get rid of me!” They snort at your enthusiasm and wipe their nose with their sleeve. Finally smile back at you and grab your hands and you help pull them to their feet.

Once vertical, they take back the notebook once more. “.. ‘I am not sure about the trials for an Illuminator. Like I said yesterday, that practice was lost over a hundred years ago. But to become an Apprentice Speaker, you have to train under a teacher for five years, which I have obviously done with my father already. Next, you have to know the songs of Old, but I can’t sing anymore. I don’t think it would matter for an Illuminator. After that, an Apprentice Speaker must perform a story during the gathering in front of all the clan elders and Master Speakers for approval. You earn the title ‘Master’ when your teacher thinks you’re ready. It takes many years to become one. Sometimes a decade...’”

“Ok. So you can do this any time during the gathering? No sweat! You have all winter—” Ava looks at you blankly for a moment then slowly shakes their head. “...Oh… Okay... How long do we have?” They huff anxiously a cloud of hot air and stick three of their fingers up. You tilt your head to the side for a moment. “...Three?... Three weeks?” They shake their head again, eyes looking more warily and start to turn a bit flush. Your left eyebrow twitch slightly. “You…You don’t mean three days do you? That's the solstice.” You snort a little, thinking you're wrong but Ava just looks at you desperately and you hold your breath for a second, but keep an almost fake smile. “Oooooooooooh… Ooooookay.” You start to breathe again and you nod a little to yourself, thinking everything over. Ava is a very fast learner… They pretty much got the hang of the practice.. “Three days….. T-..That’s… Fine!—Alright then! Three days! Plenty of time!! We can do this!!!… Do you know what story it will be?”

Quickly they jot down the answer and hand you back the notebook. “..‘The night of the solstice is the last of ancient Stories of Old that we tell during this time. The closing ceremony always ends with the story of creation. It’s actually one of my favorites.’..” When you look up at Ava they blush a little, but look a little more optimistic and a hint of excitement.

“Okay! The creation story!” You have them back the notebook and then grab both of their shoulders suddenly, making them radiate heat off their face and jolt as you stare deeply into their green eyes with determination behind your gaze. “Ava! I swear to you, we’re going to make you an Illuminator, or I’ll be damned!”

They smile for a moment then it falls when they realize what you said, “We?” They say with their hands. “Me and you only, right??”

“Yeah… well… the winter solstice is only three days away… And we’ll make it happen—... But I’m going to have to tell Muriel about this.” Ava shakes their head vigorously and takes a step backwards folding their arms tightly. “—Hey-hey-hey! Look, someone else needs to be in the know so we can have some more help. I’m awesome, but not that awesome… Muriel wouldn’t mind, and he knows how to keep secrets. Trust me.” Ava looks very unsure about it, but doesn’t disagree or argue anymore. “Well, let's go! What are we waiting for? We’ve got a lot to work on!” You say finally brushing off the dirt and tugging their wrist along towards camp.

They grab your shoulder with the opposite hand so you face them and they ask, “Where are we going?” With their hands.

“To my tent of course! You need to do this in a space like the great gather tent, right? And we need to make sure everything goes flawlessly!” They shrug with a sheepish grin and seem to understand.

Both of you return back to camp and hunt down Muriel. You explain everything to him and that you both need his help to make this work in such a short amount of time. After you are done explaining everything, he just stares and smiles cutely at you. Giving you this particular look, just like he did after he heard you sing in Una and Gilbert’s tent for Ava’s younger brother. You flush under this look. Strangely something about it is kind of a turn on today. For fuck sakes you are so weird, Rhemi.

That night at dinner, you see Shona from across the tent where she normally sits. She appears to have reverted back to completely ignoring your existence. You want to make things better… but there isn’t anything you can really do. You can’t forcibly change someone’s mind… I mean with magic, sure… but let's be honest, that's fucked up—I want her to accept me on her own terms.

As Gilbert tells another tale, you see Ava as they play the drums, looking like they have a spark in their eyes, like there is hope that hasn’t been there for a long time. It makes you feel happy for them.

For the next few days, Muriel took over part of the patrol for Ava during the morning so you could couch them while they practiced your tent. Ava rehearsed the story over and over again. They added amazing effects such as smoke and even stars on the canopy of the tent that you also taught them the other day. It was actually becoming beautiful, making you wonder why they lost this practice after a while. Perhaps the last Illuminator passed on before they could teach it. Ava would use a considerable amount of magic, and you had to nearly force them to take a break every once in a while and eat something so they wouldn't pass out. They’re strong, but no one can keep up magic going all day. Muriel was, unsurprisingly, very helpful (he always is). He would wake up before dawn, take patrol over for Ava until almost noon, and even brought you both food and water after the patrol was over. He watched some of it to give a different perspective. The idea is that Gilbert will be telling the tale, but the illuminator brought the visuals, but how Ava told the story, it was actually very easy to follow even without spoken word. It was another bittersweet story, but you can see why Ava liked it so much. The two days have already come and gone before you know it and by the day before the solstice, the night of the Midnight celebration, they were ready, and you couldn’t be more proud.

Today was a strange day. Instead of the games, dancing, and dinner at the unusual times, mostly everyone was resting up for the Midnight celebration. Dinner was reportedly going to be served a few hours before around ten at night. In the meantime, mostly ritualistic songs were sung and prayers to Father Sky and Mother Earth were completed. Some even people revisited the graveyard at this time. Gilbert said that the solstice was a time that all the other realms are at their closest to this one. Even the sprites sometimes come to visit. And people wanted to be closer with their loved one that passed on.

As you meet up with Muriel on the outskirts of the camp, little Ida comes rushing over with Inanna trotting behind her and makes her way over as he finishes patrol. Ida sheepishly comes and stands next to him. “Hey Ida. You and Inanna chasing each other again today?” Muriel says once he notices her a small grin naturally blooms on his lips. She takes down the hood of her parka and her little cheeks are bright red as she looks to the ground, seeming to have something on her mind. Muriel snorts, smiles and kneels down to her level to pet Inanna until Ida works up the courage. Inanna very gently nudges her, finally Ida reaches into her pocket and hands Muriel a trinket of some kind. “...What’s this?” Muriel takes the little trinket in his large hands and marvels at it. It is actually very well done and has pretty colored beads and smooth stones strung on a sturdy string. “It’s really pretty… You make this?”

Ida nods her head and rubs her nose. She shyly mumbles while looking at the ground and twiddles her little thumbs. “...It’s a friendship bracelet… Momma said that once you give it to your friend you’ll connect together forever.” You try your best not to make a face, she made the ‘bracelet’ too big, which is rather precious. It can almost be a necklace for her. God! She’s adorable!! Muriel nor you don’t have the heart to tell her it’s too big.

Muriel smiles a bit wider at her kindly. “Thats nice. Who’s the friend you're giving it to?” He hands it back to her.

Ida finally looks up from the ground after being nudged by Inanna’s snout again, her little cheeks even brighter red, “....Y-..You…” she mutters.

“W-wha-...m- me???” Muriel suddenly flushes a hot red and you smile controllably and looks back at the bracelet. It wasn’t a mistake, Ida made it big enough for him to wear around his large wrist. It has to be large, if it was made for him. Muriel shakes his head and is lost for words for a moment. “...W-W-...Why do you give this to someone who’s a better friend, Ida? Why me?”

“... Because... I- … I didn’t want to give it to anyone else. You’re my friend. You helped Ava. And you're always really nice to me. And I already made one for Inanna.” Both you and Muriel peer over to the large wolf and she almost struts her right paw with a smaller bracelet.

All of the visible flesh on Muriel’s body turns some shade of red, complexly flabbergasted at this. You can’t help but smile. This is just too sweet to witness. Muriel is completely lost for words and he opens and closes his mouth a few times trying to find the right ones to say. But before he could protest it anymore, she took it and tied the bracelet onto his left wrist. He doesn’t make any attempt to stop her as he badly attempts to hide a grin. It actually fits perfectly. Once it is tied on Muriel turns his wrist a few times and his smile becomes a little larger. “T...Thanks, Ida—”

Ida then surprised him once again by wrapping her little arms around his neck, making him jump a little. “Thank you for being my friend, Cousin.” She whispers loudly.

Muriel pats her little head and gently hugs her back. “Thanks for being mine.” He mutters back.

She then quickly releases him and darts off into the other direction. “BYE!”

Inanna then stands next to you and “awos” at Muriel, making him sneer a little and grumble, “Yeah, well your one to talk…” But his smile doesn’t fall even when he looks up at you.

You loop your arm through his, and place a quick kiss on his cheek. “You are really good with kids, love~”

Muriel stands back up to his feet and scratches the back of his head, refusing to look you in the eye now and shrugs. “I have no idea why…”

You take his hand and lead him back to the tent. “Come on. The midnight celebration is tonight, we’re apparently going to be up most of the night. We should get some rest.”

As you both strole back to the tent, you can’t shake off the thoughts about how much you love how Muriel is with all the little ones, especially Ida. The thought of what your children might look like also clouds your mind, making you almost gitty. He is so gentle and patient with them. Is he honestly a family man at heart? “...Do you like kids, Muri?” You finally ask as he closes the tent. You both haven't talked about things like that before, not really directly at least. You hope he wants children, but you don’t really concretely know for sure.

Muriel doesn’t actually hesitate to answer like you expected and a small grin washes over him. “I… I guess….Having a few would be ni—...” Muriel suddenly flushes, stiffens like a board, and stops himself before he could finish that. “...I … I mean… You’d….You would be a g-good—…. I- I mean…P-p-perhaps ….I thought maybe o-one day...” He flounders for words adorably and your heart feels fluttery in your chest.

“Muriel—“ Your eyes feel warm as you grab his large left hand with both of yours. He darts his eyes back to you, with an unsure look on his very red face. You look at him sweetly and rub your thumbs on his palm to soothe him.“...I told you when you asked me to marry you…. I want to have little ones too.” Muriel's mossy green eyes light up brightly, his face relaxes and a large smile takes over his face. “I… I want to make you a father someday, Love—AH!!” A startled laugh emanates from your lungs as he wraps his arms around you, picking you off your feet you kissing you intimately. You wrap your arms around his neck and lace your fingers through his dark hair and kiss him back.

Once you both part for air he holds your jawline with one hand and looks deeply into your eyes. “...I don’t know how I managed…. this.” He mumbles a little.

“Managed what, Mur?”

“... To…to have someone... like you…” He mumbles.

Pressing your forehead together with his, a large almost goofy smile takes over your mouth. “I love you, Muri. I’m the one that is luck.”

“Hmpf... Whatever...” He snorts softly, placing you back down to your feet.

Once back on the ground you both get a bit more comfortable and lay down on the bedding. After you both get comfortable, he pushes your long bangs out of the way and firmly kisses your forehead. “...You’d make a great mother. I know that.” He whispers with an uncontrollably smile still on his mouth.

“And you’ll be an excellent father.” You whisper back and lace your fingers through his hair. It takes a few minutes, but both of you somehow get to sleep. Its going to be a very long night after all…..

To be continued~

Sorry this is a shorter chapter again, but the next part I think will make better since with a chapter of its own which should be completed soon! =D

Sorry it was a lot of fluff and dialogue this time around again, but it's kind of necessary. This was also a particularly difficult chapter emotionally so it took a while.

But, HEY! Thanks for reading my hot trash!

Stay tuned for more!!~

#the arcane mc #the arcana #journey back to the south #madllamamomma #part 7~#fluff #muriel fanfic #muriel x mc #muriel x oc #rhemi the apprentice #ida of the kokhuri #muriel of the kokhuri #shona of the kokhuri #ava of he kokhuri #arcana fluff #swf?

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